I'll first give the back story, then the reaction that caused me to understand TRP
Backstory:
Essentially I had a girl over last night. It was her idea to come over and watch "a scary movie". At this point I'm more or less hoping she'd be down to have fun, but not expecting anything, I'd have fun either way.
So she comes over, and we start cuddling half way though our first scary movie. But no moves aside from that so far. After that ends, I asked if she'd like to watch another. She says yes. So we do exactly that.
This time I initiate making out during the opening scenes. We make out, get feely, etc.. I then ask her "would you like to go upstairs?" She replies "sure." So we go upstairs and continue undressing. She mentions "I don't want to move too fast." I reply by saying "okay, that's fine. Just let me know if you feel uncomfortable at all." Great, so we keep undressing and stuff and SHE says "do you want to take your pants off?" I obviously obliged, and got up to get a condom. "Is that a condom?" She asks, and I confirm.
After:
She hung out and talked for about 15 min, then I headed downstairs to grab my phone. Everything seemed normal.
I came back upstairs, and she had hastily dressed herself. Talking about how she needed to go. Where I had mentioned she could spend the night if she wanted and she seemed unsure earlier. But I realized she wanted to go sleep in her own bed or something which is fine. So I walked her out. She didn't even give me a chance to give her a kiss goodnight or anything. Strange I thought.
THEN:
I sent a text to her just cause saying: "Well I feel like you left fast, but I hope you had fun and [my dog] says byeee." Harmless and only good intentions behind that.
About an hour later I get THIS
"You little cunt fuck. Who gives you the authority to think that I wanted that tonight, that I wanted that at all. You took advantage of my body and you didn’t think twice about it. Do you feel satisfied? Do you feel more dominant then you did at the beginning of the day? I thought that I could just be friends with a guy for once but no I was wrong, every male on this planet thinks with the wrong head and only exists to fulfill their own sexual desires. That’s why I left so fast, I’m not a sexual object but a human with feelings that wanted to say no to you, but our society let’s us think that is females who are to blame for the evil ways of men. Never talk to me again."
... Is this mental illness?
Assuming everything I said is accurate and genuine, what is your opinion on this? I'm so baffled. She has subsequently unfollowed/unfriended me on everything, so shes not trying to be manipulative or anything. She honestly wants to think she was taken advantage of and cut ties with me.
This is, in my opinion, the type of girl that causes TRP philosophy to be a necessary way of thinking sometimes. You have to be careful.
Any thoughts?
Edit: I had met this girl one time before this, we spent the whole day together a couple months ago and had a great time. Hadn't seen her between these points though.
thechaosz 6y ago
She sounds nuts, just like my ex, total whore
metallicdrama 6y ago
Imagine that. You learned some sexual strategy from fucking. Evolution is real.
FinancierGuru 6y ago
Dump that cunt. 88 people here already told you that.
SkorchZang 6y ago
That's 100% mental illness. Make sure you don't feed the fire, zero contact from now on.
Don't take this personal, it wasn't about you. She used you as am interchangable guy prop for her internal victimhood drama theatre (where she complains about being objectified herself, but the irony is completely lost on her). Forget all about it ASAP like it's a bad dream, you scored a rotten apple, that's about all you can learn here.
Just think, some poor bastard is actually going to marry that shit some day...
Poptart318 6y ago
Wait what did you reply to her after she sent that?
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tibikush2012 6y ago
Mental case. Keep all records of your encounters just in case
[deleted] 6y ago
Move forward without giving her another thought, bitches be crazy.
she willingly had sex with you then sent you that text, think about that...
Now, dial yourself back in and realize, she was just a girl, she wasn't your future wife or some special being, just a girl.
Move forward, learn from the practice she gave you.
mishasam89 6y ago
jesus christ, it's not enough worrying about stds now you gatta worry about bitch pressing charges too. Sex is getting very complicated!
Jerking off seems to be more appealing; that, or just an escort.
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party_next_door 6y ago
Borderline as in BPD?
I was going to say the same... if that's the case.
Stay the fuck away. I knew a gal that said some of the stuff posted by OP VERBATIM, like what the fuck.
Don't let the initial spark catch you off guard fuck that drama (op already did, heh).
destraht 6y ago
I would make a long prayer that the neurons and dendrites which stored the memory of me all spontaneously fizzled out.
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[deleted] 6y ago
The second half of this & text from her is just straight off the deep end crazy but honestly not that surprising.
Classic case of BPD.
Edit: You shouldn't have texted her & if even she still sent you that don't respond. She'll apologize & coming crawling back if you just ignore her.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Yea I realize now there really wasnt anything to gain from texting her back. Unfortunately, my impulses got the best if me.
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AdonisAurelius 6y ago
Tits or get the fuck out.
Should have read the rules: Remain "sexless" while posting.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
I think it's important to note that when she said the "key phrase", she was on top of me. And then I gave my reply, and she continues to be on top of me.
There was no rational course of action to be taken here. She wanted sex, I wanted sex, we had sex. If she didn't want sex, and I wanted sex, we wouldn't have had sex.
If there was any "pressure" it was artificialltly created in her head and completely one-sided.
You can mention something like "I don't want to move too fast" based on a feeling of principle and then move forward with having sex because her pricipals only exist in a shallow sense. Meaning she'll verbally say something, then act in a completely different way. So at least she has a shred of value to hang on to in her head, even though she didn't actually act that way. (Thanks for the reply)
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chauncy_popperstein 6y ago
That isn't a signal to back off. Its called "Anti-Slut Defense" or "ASD". At ANY time she could have said no. The whole "being in someone's house" is bullshit too. She didn't have to come over. Just like she didn't have to go upstairs, or cuddle or tell him to take his fucking pants off.
"Pressured into sex". Is another way of saying "regretted getting fucked".
This gentlemen is the hamster at work. They spin fast. I do however agree that he did nothing wrong.
Edit You should read the sidebar. This isn't an "echo chamber". We simply discuss the nature of social interactions. You deleted a comment where you prattled on about the girl "just wanting to be friends". GTFO with that BULLSHIT. If she wanted to be "friends" she wouldn't have:
You are free to stay and learn. But don't try to spread bullshit here.
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chauncy_popperstein 6y ago
Bye. Like I said, you can stay and learn if you want. And if you do, you will find that TRP is not a "circle jerk" but a true discussion. We just don't pull punches here.
You did break a few rules. 1 bringing up your gender to give some false sense of credibility and 2 not reading the sidebar. Her saying "I don't want to move too fast" is a classic example of ASD. If it was truly "too fast" she wouldn't have fucked him. And the idea that she just wanted to be friends is "bullshit" because she fucked him. People don't have sex if they "just want to be friends". But the broken rules are not why you are getting down votes. You are getting down votes because people do not agree with you.
BokehClasses 6y ago
HAHAHAHAHA
Is pussy even worth the risk nowadays?
Use hookers or record the whole thing.
Constatine7 6y ago
She regretted it. Just say "I am who I am." and offer no further explanation. Show no regret, don't blame her either, just let it be. Once she sees you are immune to such things so will gain respect for you. Though be careful, if she decides to call it rape you need to prepare for legal consequences. This is pretty shitty but you should probably put cameras in your room and film all your sexual encounters for legal reasons if you are going to sleep with a bunch of women. Obviously don't release the videos or anything, but better be safe than sorry.
Raknas_Kihtrak 6y ago
If i were you , i would be the one to strike first!! .Go file a police complaint that she raped you and now is emotionally raping you. Say that you need a safe space. And for fuck sake , record your future sexual encounters with 4k video !! for the police and the court . XD XD
Mr-Ed209 6y ago
Try to read her emotions and not her words. She's pissed off at you. Why?
hope you had fun
Implies that the sex was meaningless to you and the fact that you went to grab your phone right after implies to her that you've had your way with her and had enough. She was obviously not satisfied with the sex - that's not to say she didn't enjoy it while it was going on but the whole thing probably ended a bit to abruptly for her liking.
Her thinking is as follows;
I didn't get off and he only seemed to care about getting his own nut off (why she says things like 'used her body'). Sex ended and she thought OK I'll hang around we'll go again surely. WTF he's getting his phone out, are we done here? I can't believe this guy'
Then you hit her with the hope you had fun and she lost her shit.
First time with a new girl is tricky but you're always best to edge on the side of being a nice guy (after having sex of course). 15 mins of cuddling is like the bare minimum lol. If she was going to stay over why not keep at it? I normally go like 3-4 times the first night with a new girl and again in the morning if you're lucky. Guaranteed that way the girl texts you afterwards to tell you she had a great time.
As from here I'm unsure how to play it. I doubt she's going to hit you with some rape charge, she's just venting her frustration. So it's probably best to say 'I'm sorry you feel that way, it was certainly not my intention.'
If she's still pissy and you're worried things could get serious, try and meet her out for coffee in public and record what she says. Get her to admit she consented on tape then politely leave and ghost forever. If anything legal comes your way use that recording to save your self.
Remember to own it, don't be some grovelling push over. But approach it from the understanding I've outlined above and i think you'll calm her down pretty quickly.
[deleted] 6y ago
This is shit advice. You apologise you admit guilt. it validates her outburst and demonstrates you can be bullied.
Setting your alarm can't be misconstrued: She's a cunt fishing for a reaction. No matter how useless you may have been her reaction is unwarranted.
OP listen to everyone but this guy and disengage with this woman.
Post script: there is no mandatory cuddle time. Girls give way less of a fuck about that shit than men think they do and doing it cos you think you should is operating in her frame and a covert contract.
chauncy_popperstein 6y ago
I agree with all of this. Except the part where you see her again. Just save the text where she admitted she never said "no".
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Hey I really appreciate the in depth answer. I think that it's unlikely she would be so upset from not getting off on our first round. And there definitely would have been more to come, but maybe you're right that me grabbing my phone to set an alarm for the morning made it seem like I was done. Seems unlikely that she took it that way, but a possibility.
Edit: and would being upset about something like that cause her to block and unfollow me on everything? Seems strange.
curiousthis 6y ago
She didn't get off???
That's why she's pissed and lumped you together with all the other guys who did the same thing to her. If there's two things you should take away from this subreddit, it's:
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Mr-Ed209 6y ago
Her not getting off is only part of it. I don't mean that from a place of you need to improve (I'm sure your a stallion brah). But your actions on a whole implied you weren't interested in commitment. She, either through insecurity on her part or callousness on yours (probably a mixture of both) lead her to conclude that once this was over you would reject her. You wouldn't believe how common this is and how little you need to do to set it off. I could go into several stories of myself and guy friends who've gone through being girl shamed for doing way less than what happened here.
Girls commonly do this, if they sense your not as invested as they are they often jump the gun and reject you to save face. They create a narrative that absolves them of any wrong doing (this abuse accusation) and then they're done. It's all in a way of saving face. 'He didn't dump me, he's abusive'
The block and unfollowing is pretty typical, she's acting on emotion. In her head she's decided 'this guys a piece of shit' which leads her to behave in ways that allude to that belief.
It's probably best to let her cool down. If you have any mutual girl friends with her you could approach them (after a bit of time). And try and dig into her character somewhat. I disagree with some of RP is that all women are out to spite you. In all the stories I could mention the mutual friends often came forward and said 'dont worry about X, she's crazy we know your a nice dude' etc
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Cool man, I think I get what you're saying completely. Do you think there's anything to worry about at this point? I've got nothing to lose by just never talking to her again so that's not a problem. I'm just worried she comes back with something unexpected like charges or something?
Mr-Ed209 6y ago
It would be hard to imagine it going any further legally and you're best to just ignore her and move on with your life. I'd say you probably hit the worst timing with all the #metoo nonsense going on. However going to the police to make a report is serious shit and deep down she knows what you did was nowhere near the line of definable abuse.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Agreed. And I feel better. Thanks dude.
groovy4dabooty 6y ago
Yup she sounds exactly like my old sociopathic coworker. She banged half the company, & tried to move on to me. When I said no, she flipped out how all I think about it sex and blah blah blah. Run. Just run. She actually got me fired, but thank God I got my job back.
CreateANewAccount___ 6y ago
Sounds like she could have a boyfriend or LDR? Is ASD post coitus a thing? That’s honestly a pretty baffling situation. Considering she blocked you on social media, it doesn’t seem like she’s BPD and trying to manipulate you, but potentially she is and flips the fuck out after sex.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Yea man, I'm just blown away with that reaction. I've never had anything close to this..
Marsupian 6y ago
Might have been a need for more after care. Chick are hyper sensitive to being left alone after sex.
Never had problems with a ONS if I cuddled till she slept. If I need to bounce or get her out I just wake them up right after they doze off.
Also clean up at the same time.
Disclaimer: This is no replacement for recorded consent. Chicks are fucked up.
UrsusG 6y ago
She's a crazy bitch who regretted having sex with you that night.
That said, the text was unnecessary:
There's no need to sum up a sex encounter. Sex is best had, not talked about.
A guy doesn't "hope she had fun" like he's some kind of service provider, or worse, qualifying for her approval ("was it good for you, honey?")
There was no need to comment on her hasty leaving; you'd have done much better to ignore it like it was totally normal (you're amplifying / bringing back negative feels - this is girl kryptonite)
Ganaria_Gente 6y ago
I do support him texting her something like "glad we had fun tonight, cheers" or something. To cover his ass.
UrsusG 6y ago
A "rapist" could write that too.
It would cover his ass if she wrote that.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
What should he have written, if anything.
Is writing at all an opening for her text?
UrsusG 6y ago
Texting is best used for logistics, so optimally you should only text her if/when you want to set up another date.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
So no "I had a good time" text. No aftercare?
UrsusG 6y ago
Well maybe something logistics-oriented along the lines of "We should meet again sometime soon."
Basically announce that you'll be hitting her up for more but that's it.
She already knows you had a good time, because you're texting her to schedule another one.
Daddie0 6y ago
Yeah good luck, she is probably on the #metoo and will blast your name over social media.
This is where I feel for you younger guys, this exact scenario. I saw / read this the other day, if she "feels" she was guilted into having sex with you, it's considered sexual assault.
Now all she has to do is say I didn't want to or I feel I was guilted into it after the fact, and you are now a rapist.
I wanted cock yesterday, but now today feel like I really didn't want it yesterday.
How long have you known her, and how well do you know her? I'm wondering if she has a boyfriend?
So you asked her about going upstairs and she said "Sure."
"Take a knee and run out the clock." "Just rub one out. It's the champagne of victory..." - Bill Burr
saibot83 6y ago
My dad (70) casually browsed some articles about the Metoo campaign last time I visited. The only thing he said was: "Jeez... I'm glad I'm an old man".
mcbenzene 6y ago
Things like these make me want to ditch the nofap.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Damn I love that bill burr quote.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
I'm almost sure she doesn't have a boyfriend, I know her to some capacity. We've talked on and off for a while. Have had deep conversations in person.
And I want to clarify, it didn't seem like she was surprised I had a condom, just like she was confirming that we were using one.
I wasn't worried about anything before I posted this, but now I'm considering the possibility of being falsley accused and charged with something.. is this a rational fear at this point?
vwzwv 6y ago
Based on your post she knows she gave consent. So I think it best you NEVER message her or talk to her again for an absolute minimum of a year as a goal then never after that either. She probably doesn't have the nerve to accuse you, but if you message her, talk to her, signal her in any way her hamster might start spinning in overdrive and accuse you. Also if you see her in person don't even let her see you / get lost. Based on the things she said she's a huge risk. Don't be 'curious' and get her attention.
tl;dr Sounds like you didn't do anything wrong, but you should still play dead and let it become old news to maximize the chances there's no problems because she sounds kinda crazy.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Cool. Yea I agree. No reason for me to contact her ever again.
mcbenzene 6y ago
If I were you, I would even move elsewhere.
Daddie0 6y ago
Almost sure?
The following is the best sentence I ever learned in my life and it applies to most if not all situations:
Assumption is the mother of all fuckups.
Assume nothing.
failingtheturingtest 6y ago
I'm 100% certain it might be true.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Okay sure, but the girl having a boyfriend isn't really a big problem compared to the possiblility of her lying to police about this whole situation.
antariusz 6y ago
She will only lie to the police if you try to contact her again, and have a possibility of ruining her relationship.
If you stay no contact, and she got her alpha dick on the side, while keeping her billy beta unaware, then there will be no criminal proceedings.
strikethrough123 6y ago
This is why I make her beg for me to enter her and record that shit. She sounds like a nutcase that wants to brag to her friends on how she got "abused". Next.
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vwzwv 6y ago
Sounds like you showed too much neediness and it turned her off by the end.
It also sounds like she's nutcase grade woman material. So you dodged a bullet.
imbeciI 6y ago
You dodged a bullet! If you two did the deed, she would have accused you of rape.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
I thought it was clear, but yea we did do the deed lol
icedupsmackhead 6y ago
Fuck man. Imagine getting getting arrested for this. Literally a fate worse than death.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
There was no drinking and no compulsion, so unless she caused bruises on herself after or lies about being drunk, there's not really a case for her right?
Edit: And so far 24 hrs later, I just got home and haven't seen any signs of cops coming to confront me about it.
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Throwawaysteve123456 6y ago
You tell me. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
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InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Seems pretty possible. I'm not sure. I mean she's definitely crazy in my mind, but is this the specific type of crazy? I don't know.
Throwawaysteve123456 6y ago
It sounds pretty borderliney, but it's impossible to say with just that info.
GrandYam_HomeRun 6y ago
There exists the possibility that this is not real. That message is just too politically perfect, the perfect low-hanging fruit for this audience. I'm skeptical.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
I feel like I have to provide a screenshot now https://imgur.com/3HpuuXS
Edit: that's why I'm saying I had a TRP epiphany. It relates too god damn well. Even makes the worst of TRP have some validity in my mind.
GrandYam_HomeRun 6y ago
I'm a believer, thanks for the screenshot
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I see you replied to that. What did you say?
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rmandan 6y ago
Bitch did that to me, then screenshot the message and put it on social media. She thinks she’s some hero standing up for women and against your stereotypical white male.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Haha I like how you assumed I was white. You're completely right though.
BillSander 6y ago
Bpd, plus weak fucking, plus weak text after flips her into victim mode. Also, women are like the weather their moods change on a dime.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
I don't really see that logic but thanks for the possible explanation
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Plus dude never say "byyeeee" again. That's weenie talk. Just say "bye"
BillSander 6y ago
Read Practical Female Psychology.
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dancingkungfy 6y ago
For all that is good and holy, listen to the advise given here, and run as far away from that woman, as you can.
Never ever contact her again. I don’t care if she shows up in nothing but a bathrobe at your front door. Run!
If there is ever a red flag scenario. This is one.
Source: Experience.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
No sir, will not fall for this again.
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Wrath_of_Trump 6y ago
Be honest, was she hot or just meh
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Solid 8/10. So I'd say hot. Worth it? We'll see if this turns into anything.
RedDespair 6y ago
Are you FUCKING SERIOUS???!!! That bitch is crazy. Never contact her again
Wrath_of_Trump 6y ago
I was thinking she might have been a chubber that has the feminism virus, but it sounds like she has other issues. She talks about "other guys" wanting to use her body, clearly she has issues. Most stable women already realize that yes, you are a cum receptacle to most men which is why you shit test them to make sure it's the right cum. Honestly, sorry to break the news, but I don't think you gave her the best dick she's ever had. Do you know anyone who get's pissed off after an orgasm?
TheAC997 6y ago
This is why I record the sexual encounters where I'm getting remotely weird vibes. (audio without telling her, or video with telling her)
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
I'm thinking this is probably the safest bet for people you don't know too well
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Heisenbread77 6y ago
That's the kind of girl that makes the MGTOW philosophy resonate! Holy shit! This is terrifying that a woman will do this after having no issues sleeping with you.
atticusfinch1973 6y ago
I hate to say it but that sounds like a girl who's friends (if told) could easily convince her to pull a false accusation. I'd tread very lightly and make sure that you have any interaction beforehand saved. Especially that message because if she was truly traumatized she wouldn't have been writing an essay.
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[deleted] 6y ago
And this ladies and gentlemen is just another story of warning.
If a bitch is mentally unstable, in her head you are a rapist. No questions asked, unfortunately.
Society (blue pill AF) and feminists of varying degrees will always side with the pyscho bitch.
Even if everything was good, she could always change her mind at a later date.
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[deleted] 6y ago
Save the text, there is an admission of consent buried in all that 3rd wave femin-bable.
Next, sue her for libel, slander, defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Which part is the admission of consent in your opinion? Thanks for the passion, but she hasn't actually spread any falsities about it yet. But that doesn't mean she won't.
[deleted] 6y ago
"wanted to say no to you, but...."
She admits she never said no because society. Its right there in writing from her that it was not rape.
chauncy_popperstein 6y ago
Agreed. Save that text OP. It might be needed later.
Anon241469 6y ago
My guess is that you didn't fuck her well enough, so in her mind you are a friend who took advantage of her, not the alpha who's seed she so desired. And, as the other guy commented, your post coital text message cemented that idea in her mind. Did you actually hope that she had fun, or were you insecure that you might never see her again and therefore texted her to continue the relationship?
IMO, you shoulda waited until you were horny again... maybe after a couple days... and asked to hang out again.
InternetPunkMachine 6y ago
Well I wasnt super interested in keeping a strong relationship with her. But it didn't have anything to do with insecurity. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay, which it was. Before, during, and after we had sex. It's just as soon as I left to grab my phone, she put her clothes on and left. This is after cuddling in bed for like 15 min after too. So strange.
antariusz 6y ago
Key words: you cared about her. If you got laid 10 times in the past month by 10 different girls, would you have cared about her leaving?
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[deleted] 6y ago
You just made her feel like a slut that's all.
Small chance of it happening but you might need to learn this lesson reeeeal fast if you catch my drift.
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