Intro
I am an LTR guy, besides intermissions of plate spinning. It seems those periods are just rapid vetting periods that dwindle from 20 or so ONS’s/Fuck buddies, to dating a few women, to eventually a mostly monogamous LTR. I’m not claiming that LTR’s are the smartest strategy, however, the danger involved keeps me on my toes, and my strongest periods of self-improvement occur during LTR, while my most self-destructive periods occur during intermission. I believe this is due to the constant daily pressure to maintain frame, as opposed to the consistent fresh slate that plate spinning can provide. Here’s a few pointers on LTR’s. I’ll expand if people like.
Utmost Importance
If you choose to enter an LTR, the most important tenant and the easiest way to fuck up is to adopt scarcity mentality. Abundance absolutely must be maintained at all costs or you lose. It doesn’t take much. In fact, once you have her obsessed with you (which is a product of her getting through vetting phase) classic adherence to TRP self-improvement will do most of the work.
Cheating
I personally separate an LTR from FWB as an effort to be monogamous. I don’t see the point of side bitches just for thrills, I have more important matters to pursue and the constant LTR pussy gives me more time to pursue them (kind of the basis of human civilization). However, if you sense that you are really starting to lose your abundance mentality, and control of the relationship as a result, go fuck something for God’s sake. You know what happens when she gains control. It’s for the relationship, lads. Seriously. She’d thank you for it if she wasn’t so goddamn retarded.
Initiating LTR
She initiates the LTR, not you. Your job is to judge how well she attempts this. Her courtship of you is the most important part of the process and fuels the entire LTR. The harder she works, the more attached she will be once you give LTR commitment. She needs at least 6 months of pursuing you without fucking up at all before considering LTR. You also aren’t gonna find a worthy LTR unless you go through 15+ women that seem potential. She has to convince you. Bring out her feminine instincts to be subservient. Drive her crazy. Fuck her good, reward her efforts, but don’t commit. Unworthy and entitled women will weed themselves out. Also, this is all simultaneous. Ideally, after ~6 months of spinning, you should have 2 solid candidates to choose from.
LTR
Once you have your winner, the hourglass has turned. She will inevitably tire out and fuck up, or you will inevitably turn into a bitch beta slave. Could be 2 months, could be 2 years. You will develop feelz. You will probably love her. You’re playing with fire idiot, why the fuck are you listening to me?
Constant assessment of your resolve and frame are required. When you need to revisit TRP, do it. When you need to fuck some random whore do it. The stakes are high, but maintaining a healthy LTR is like steroids for frame development and self-improvement.
Remember, you aren’t getting into an LTR for comfort. You doing it for the opposite. It should provide a constant passive discomfort. If it’s not doing that, you’re probably fucked. Remember, you’re being almost as retarded as the guys who get married and you might end up adopting their mental retardation because you might not be a cold mother fucker capable of ghosting a girl you’ve been seeing for two years. Are you capable? She knows.
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -Friedrich Nietzsche
TheYekke 6y ago
You are already going down the wrong path - start here: https://youtu.be/_OyEIrw95Ho
Go all the way to part 4. Maintain plates until SHE qualifies. Do the fucking phone check. She will have a plan B guy lined up, or more likely she's a complete slut. Y'all need to understand that the SMP has fallen apart. Sex and marital markets have diverged and are now almost mutually exclusive
The SMP is now just the FUCK ECONOMY. The 100 out of 100 in that market is the Porn Star. The MMP is the LIFETIME RELATIONSHIP ECONOMY. The 100 out of 100 there is the 18 year old religious virgin.
I'm 15 years older than Will but holy shit he's got it together. Priceless
[deleted] 6y ago
Yes, let's follow this advice and remove ourselves from the gene pool. That would be glorious, the apex of evolution!
People, seriously, stop overthinking this. A simple rule - your interests first, and as long as her interests align with yours, keep it going. If there's a conflict, work to resolve it like an adult man you pride yourself to be. If that is impossible, end the relationship.
banjew 6y ago
I'm in a LTR, the girl is completely obsessed with me to the poing it pisses me off. How I did this:
1) Sadly, I have oneitis for another girl. Even knowing TRP, even fucking tens of other girls, I can't forget her. It's already impossible for me to get her, I really fucked up things with her. This means I dont really give a fuck about any other girl.
2) I don't care about pussy I can get a prostitute 100x better in bed for basically penauts (I'm in a 3rd world country).
3) I can't be beta even if I wanted it. I just dont care. This makes her go crazy.
4) I don't know if she cheats, honestly I don't care.
I don't really wanted a LTR but, whatever. I tried to break up with her several times, basically because I was bored. But she really dont want to. Can't find any failure in her, she's amazing. Except she's maybe a 6-7. Don't know what to do, probably will stay with her until someone better comes along, I dont want to waste her time.
Funny story: Sometimes I say things like "you are beautiful" or "you make me feel really good" and the moment I say this, she thinks she gained some power, she become a insta-bitch. It's amazing, all his submissiveness stops when I display beta behavior. Of course this is easily fixable via dread, ghosting, or just don't giving two fucks about her for a while, until I want sex again.
[deleted] 6y ago
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." -Friedrich Nietzsche
Well that was retarded. I think that's the perspective of blue pill guy emulating red pill.
Any world leader worth his weight, any proper champion mindset would not say shit like this. Sure ltr's have its challenges but that goes with being with someone for long time, while being still young and juggling your potential futures in life. Its not ez for a woman or a man IF you arent sure thats the One from the get go. ANd 90% arent, and 9.9% that are, are wrong hahaha. And whats that about holding frame, people obsess over it like you make conscious effort to count words and reanalyze your poses or whatever... Frame is a good term, but frame is byproduct of proper beliefs. It not something you hold in front of yourself or panic activity. Frame is (at least for me) a state of mind which is cultivated until its automatic, by daily routine like meditation or affirmations, until it becomes natural and every behavior withing frame FEELS good, while behavior outside feels bad. You then can trust your gut you dont need to obsess over frame, HOLDING FRAME Jesus what kind of anxiety are you guy walking around with trying to hold all those frames. Relax and let your subconscious to the work. Program yourself right so you can live life. Not hold anything in mind like obsessed goat.
"Women are simple creatures that are fairly common and mostly pleasurable to have around, for limited amounts of time." - Wise man.
yummyluckycharms 6y ago
LTR are not playing with fire - its more like swallowing a large dose of radioactive material and seeing how long it takes to kill you. Sometimes, it might have short term positive effects, but in the long run, it will always kill you.
Also, in many western countries, LTR = marriage after 2 or 3 years, so the idea that you can maintain a happy balance is nonsensical. Cause after the 1 year honeymoon mark, you basically after to start sniffing around for the next plate, which your current LTR will sense and will conflict will ensue
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
No, it doesn't "always" kill you. It kills you if you let it. In the end it comes down to whether or not you can man up and walk away unscathed or become her beta slave for potentially the rest of your life. How long that takes is the question. Recognizing when she's out of her honeymoon mode and into her lock down mode is the key.
OMFG_GOBSTOPPERS 6y ago
How does it compare to the sort term effects of eating a whole box of Everlasting Gobstoppers in one sitting?
ozaku7 6y ago
After my first LTR, I just view relationships as a constant supply of pussy, and the LTR is valid as long as she opens the legs for me as often as I have the urge. I don't see the point of practicing celibacy with a roommate.
It is as you say, LTR's are good to pursue other things while your investment in a decent woman has paid off it's fruits and therefore, do not require the same effort as initially to get laid.
A man needs to drink, eat, sleep and fuck in order to be satisfied. The rest is just self-actualization.
[deleted] 6y ago
LTRs, with a lot of work and some luck, can be unbelievably rewarding. When an LTR is going great you can simultaneously hit nearly every conceivable neurotransmitter related to the opposite sex there is. It's a fantastic feeling and worth striving towards despite the massive risks involved. LTRs are good when:
PreOrgasmGroanLness 6y ago
Huh? That looks contradictory.
I'm interested in how you approach this because in my current LTR I am free to see other girls. Though, when my girl is so generous and devoted, I don't even give a shit. However I wouldn't (and she wouldn't) mind if I randomly pursued some other girl just because I thought it'd be a good experience for me, as long as it doesn't do a cut on my LTR's benefits/attention time/etc.
[deleted] 6y ago
That's what I mean.
I get where you're coming from but I doubt this.
PreOrgasmGroanLness 6y ago
I suppose you're right. I find it kinda awkward not to pursue girls, even though this LTR is 4 years old (or rather: especially that this LTR is 4 years old). It just doesn't feel right. I like and love her, maybe I'd have kids with her one day if the time's right, but it doesn't feel right. I am not into one-night stands or very casual stuff, I am not into having a harem. I only crave a little variety, my girl plus a girl that doesn't mind meeting with me every so often. I don't lie to women and I definitely won't disrespect the other girl as a person, such as promising her stuff I can't hold onto or treating her less than she deserves just because she isn't my "main" girl. I just would not expand the relationship with her beyond a point that I cannot sustain.
I was considering dropping her, I mean my girl, several times because I don't want her to be in a no-exit spot, i.e. "let him have other women or lose him". She's very attached. I don't know, man. The whole situation is something new to me and there is little to no useful info on the Internet regarding all that. Nonmonogamy ain't popular and while there are examples, they're limited and then every relationship is unique anyway.
I know she'd rather lie to me about her being okay with me meeting an/other women than give me up.
Aaren_Augustine 6y ago
This is why Rollo's basics are so important.
If you can't manage to be your own mental point of origin, not only do you fail to experience what you've listed, you fail at frame; thus becoming a self fulfilling prophecy steeped in fear
LiveAFTSOV 6y ago
Yep, I agree.
Nothing wrong with loving a women, but you must accept the potential pain.
freshaf69 6y ago
Multi day ghosting.. can you explain.
Im pretty certain my girl Im seeing and almost at a LTR right now would likely fuck someone else if I did this. She has high SMV and I think would break down and start drinking if I disappeared.
How does this kind of game playing help you?
un-supervised-savage 6y ago
Only do multi Day ghosting if they are being a bitch and the ghosting is a form of punishment(withdrawing attention). For this to work you have to give them decent attention when they're good. They know you're ghosting them because they were testing your resolve and not acting right. Telling them "I won't tolerate such and such behavior." Is not necessary because they know what they're doing wrong. Attention is their validation, give it but not too much of it, rarely give it in the open where others(her friends) can see. Never give it when they are bad. Always be prepared to truly walk if the don't come back correct.
freshaf69 6y ago
Why never when their friends can see? And how do you know if your giving too much attention
un-supervised-savage 6y ago
More about giving her compliments around her friends. It makes you look whipped. If her friends don't see it they won't question your abundance mentality. It can also help if they don't like the fact that you're not gushing over their friend. They tell her your an ass, she'll want you more.
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joopityjoop 6y ago
What does LTR stand for? Sorry, I'm new here. Everyone uses the term and Idk what it means. Long term relationship?
m4t31 6y ago
Yes. You can find all the abbreviations in the sidebar.
un-supervised-savage 6y ago
Long term relationship haha, first time on Reddit I see.
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Psychocist 6y ago
..and yet I can get all of those benefits from plating..
The only thing I can't get is a deep emotional bond that is built over many months/years.
[deleted] 6y ago
That wasn't a list of benefits.
If you can get all the benefits of an LTR from a plate, that plate is an LTR.
jooseygoosey 6y ago
Do you mean MLTR or OLTR? It sounds like a weird hybrid between both. Please clarify
[deleted] 6y ago
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Jabroni421 6y ago
Can you expand on this? What if you’re not a leader? Just fucked?
ozaku7 6y ago
Drama is just built up boredom that found its way out. It's a self-defense of the feminine mind to keep it entertained. Hence why feels are good, any kind of feels. A woman without feels is like a meth addict without meth. Female drama is basically Feelz Withdrawal Symptom.
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
Every LTR I've had ends up always asking me "how are you good at everything?"
Be even slightly masterful with everything you do and you will seem like an omnipotent being to a woman. They have no concept of mastery or skill. I've had one even compliment how thoroughly I brush my teeth.
[deleted] 6y ago
are they looking over their shoulder to see if the girl is following?
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Htowngetdown 6y ago
Nice try. You'll get there eventually if you want to. Try reading it again.
frerri 6y ago
Thanks. Great mindset! I have this in my life. I just haven't seen the struggle to maintain frame in that way and it's a beautiful way to see it. Instead of demanding her to be comfortable and sweet to me no matter what because I chose her. How luck she felt for that will fade
I'll never forget.
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Philhelm 6y ago
She's likely only behaving since you can walk away. Once you get her pregnant and/or marry her, her attitude will most likely change for the worse since she will then have power over you (family court).
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SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
My current is HB9, combined with her style she is easily the sexiest chick in the room when we are out. Same exact story as yours. I think hotties make the best LTRs. They don't get insecure very often and they keep you on your toes. They also are typically more feminine and easier to transition into a TRP relationship dynamic.
uebermacht 6y ago
From my experience, especially the hot chicks are most insecure.
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
What I'm alluding to is security in a relationship. So many chicks make shitty LTR's because they view your self-improvement as a bad thing, a thing that will steal you away from them. They begin to resent you. On the other hand, as insecure as they may be, bangin' bitches know they bangin. They are more prone to relishing in your gains and celebrating your alpha presence in a social setting, etc, because they know their competition is just another hot bitch, but probably not a hotter bitch.
They're all insecure, but every last one of them know exactly where they stand on the standard scale.
asotranq 6y ago
Relationships get a lot of shit around here, and I can see why with the standard of a lot of women these days. Sometimes I year a woman talk about the way she treats her guy and I really have to hold back my disgust, but if you find a good one then they can add a lot of value to your life. I'm in a relationship that I actually enjoy and get a lot of fulfillment from and so does she. The most important thing is to hold your ground when it matters and never, ever, ever stop doing the things you enjoyed before you met her. A lot of women seem to want to mindfuck their boyfriend into quitting the hobbies he enjoys and then a year later they'll complain that he's not the guy she fell for. I can only conclude that women really don't do well at forethought so you have to just take control of that.
nazis_are_socialists 6y ago
She treats her guy that way because her father was a failure and/or she can't help her disgust with the fact that her guy is beta. It's just the way she's programmed to react. No need to be disgusted with her, it's entirely the fault of the men in her life (or not in her life) that she acts that way.
asotranq 6y ago
Yeah you're right, I don't really care too much about it but some of the things women say when they don't think anyone is judging them or will hold them accountable for their actions simply blows my mind sometimes.
jooseygoosey 6y ago
Way to absolve her poor behaviour and blame it on the MEN in her life.
No. She behaves poorly do to scarcity mentality and inherent female solipsism.
nazis_are_socialists 6y ago
Scarcity mentality = betas
Female solipsism = the way she's wired. Blaming her for the way she is wired is like blaming the sky for being blue. Its meaningless.
PantsonFire1234 6y ago
Interesting, with me it's the opposite. When i'm single i'm hungry and hunting. The best improvement always comes from these times. When i'm in an LTR or stable plating period I become complacent and even unsatisfied.
I wonder why we differ on this.
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
For me, the feedback and admiration from an LTR is much more resourceful because I can be absolutely positive whether I am improving or digressing. You can't bullshit an LTR. She knows exactly when you start slacking and you will immediately feel it when she does.
On the other hand, random sluts and plates are easy sleazy. I start to realize "damn, I don't need to do jack shit to fuck these dumb whores." And then I don't and I still fuck them.
Trust me, I enjoy the hunt just as much as anyone else. But lets be honest, you can give a charismatic hobo a nice set of clothes and an 8th of cocaine and he'll be plating half the city.
PantsonFire1234 6y ago
Hmm I heard that before but to me it's fairly easy to make that distinction. When is this unclear to you?
Though spinning then would still require you to keep SMV.
That's a bit of an overstatement but I get the point. Plating still requires lots of things that are difficult to have an demand competition.
Don't get me wrong I think your lifestyle is far more healthy and mine sort of just rolled in from a dysfunctional childhood where I got used to being alone and working on myself. Being in a real committed relationship is an inconvenience to the mission I want to be working on. I just got used to the fighting if you will. I wish I could switch to your attitude since it sounds like the same thing but more fulfilling.
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
Everything I just said was an overstatement, but you got what I was trying to say.
There have been times in my life where ONS's and plates were exactly what I needed and I'm sure there are more of those times to come. Use women in whatever way works best for you at any given time and they wont be using you.
PantsonFire1234 6y ago
I think my main obstacle is that I tend to attract borderline types. I suspect it's because I have DT tendencies but I won't judge or diagnose myself. Either way I have found that having anything worthwhile with these women is impossible. You either get bored of each other or in a fight.
I have considered looking for a normal grounded girl but I still have to like her. And I haven't found that yet though every plate I ever take on always has a shot at making it to LTR. But none of them deserve it usually.
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
Keep a sharper eye on girls who don't necessarily seem grounded initially. A lot of them put on a facade because society/pop culture tells them guys are more attracted to the "crazy bitches." They overcompensate. I've seen a lot of girls fall back into a normal grounded girl much different than the persona she had when first meeting.
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fromthecrypt8 6y ago
From previous experience, I can attest to what OP is saying here. It's playing with fire unless you have abundance.
Solipsistic_guy 6y ago
Yep ! LTR is TRP in Expert mode. But you'll be playing regardless.
RighteousSouljah 6y ago
Being in a long term relationship doesn't mean you are "good enough" unless your a cuck bitch faggot. Being in a relation means the bitch is in her role and you have as many women as you need being a man.
Luckylancer96 6y ago
That makes sense from black pill view point, but only from there...