I posted this a year ago on an old account that got deleted. I found it on my computer and figured I'd repost it so some of you can get some value out of it Before I delete it on my computer and so I can still have it for reference. I also added a bit more to it. Enjoy.
My friends often wonder how I do it. How I get laid pretty much whenever I want. How I bring home a girl from the bar almost every time I go out. They come out and practically study what I do. Here is what I tell them:
I am an experience to them. Be an experience. Be different than what they are used to. Don't be so formal, let loose and don't take yourself or anything too seriously.
When a girl is out at the bar and I approach her she is in for something most men will never show her. All the while I am doing it because it is who I am. It's not for her. It's for me. So if she doesn't want to come along for the ride, I don't care. Because someone else will.
It's like when someone goes on a cool trip or goes to Disney world. They brag about how much of a cool experience it was and they can't wait to go back. It's on their mind all week and they think about it down the road when they need a break from the real world.
When they hangout with me I give them that experience. I took a step back the other night out. I was on the dance floor, as I usually am. I was surrounded by a bunch of girls. In the middle of them, spinning them, laughing, just having the time of my life and showing them the time of theirs. I thought about how my friend said to me he used to go out and just watch what I was doing. At that moment I took a step back and looked around. What I saw actually woke me up to something I Never noticed before. Tons and tons of dudes just standing there. Beer in hand, doing nothing, some probably making fun of me (look at that idiot) when in reality they wish they could drop their egos enough to let loose. I left with someone that night and I guarantee the shit talkers did not. They didn't do anything but stand and talk to each other and complain how "this place sucks" So why do I care what they think. You shouldn't either.
Go out (day or night) with the intent to not care what anyone thinks about what you do. Talk to everyone (men, women, fat, old, etc.). If it's on your mind, say it. Look to find people you connect with and say "nice to meet you" and move on if you don't. Dance, laugh, move, feel the music.
Let your inner masculinity shine through. Spin her, pick her up, touch her, kiss her, hug her, high five her. And if you are not comfortable with that yet. Take it slow. Talk to her friends and everyone around her. Don't even focus just on her. Go to the bar knowing no one and try meeting everyone. Show the world how unique you are. It's okay to be weird (not creepy learn the difference) I'll meet one I like and say I'm going to meet my friends and then go meet another one. You'd be surprised how they will "accidentally" run back into you during the night.
When the bars over ask her if she wants to go on an adventure. Walk somewhere cool with her, take her the long way home, give her something on the trip home and tell her to keep it in her purse forever or you'll be mad at her. And then Make her show you next time you hangout. (This also reminds her of the fun time she had with you when she find it in her purse in the future). be vulnerable in a sense you're not giving a fuck what she might think because ultimately you don't care because you're having so much fun. It would be her loss if she doesn't want to join along. And there is a girl out there who is dying to join you. Keep meeting people till you find that girl. Be an experience gentlemen.
I know I kind of rambled and this post comes off a little arrogant but I'm trying to show you. I get what most guys want because I do what most guys don't or are afraid to. Also just because I go out and dance around like a nut doesn't mean you have to do that. You might be a different type of experience. But don't be one of those guys who wants to do those things but doesn't because he's afraid to look awkward. I used to want to dance but it was awkward for me. But I practiced when no one was watching. In the shower. In the car. Now people tell me how awesome my dance moves are.
Anyway I hope this helped someone. Go out and show your unique masculinity to the world. It's your world boys. Grab it by the balls and take it for a ride!
ObjectiveBuffoon 6y ago
It's definitely a process to getting to that point; letting go of insecurities, anxiety, everything holding someone back. How could this be best applied/done in high school?
yessum447 6y ago
High school is a really bad place to learn success with women. Actually it might be the worst place. IMO during high school just try to work on yourself and take the opportunities that come your way, don't alienate yourself by trying to learn pickup in an environment where a couple mistakes ruins your chances with the whole school.
ObjectiveBuffoon 6y ago
Ok - self improvement (lifting, reading, etc) is my primary goal anyways, just trying to get some action.
Hudini15 6y ago
High school's not pick up game it's social circle game. Get involved. Talk to everyone. Go to parties. Join clubs. Play sports. Outcome independence is key. Don't go out of your way for the girls, they'll come to you if you make a name for yourself.
Red_SL4 6y ago
Very pookish advice. Men are looking for women, women are looking for a man's world. The focus is on the man, he's the prize. He must live his dream, and let her in if he likes her. Everything happens on his terms, in his frame.
Project_Thor 6y ago
To add to this, I always have the intention of improving the venue.
Create a connection with the musician as he's playing
Build the rave's energy
Start the dancing
It gives bonus points kids.
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[deleted] 6y ago
dont just be an 'experience,' be funny. nonfunny people are so fucking boring and it's offensive that they think that they are worth your time
TrenGod37 6y ago
That's part of the experience
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Disciple_of_Libertas 6y ago
Love this post. I am usually one of those stupid haters with beer in hand who is jealous and terrified of letting loose. I need to learn to dance. I want to learn but don't know how to start. Where should I begin in learning? Salsa, waltz, rave dance?
Mr-Ed209 6y ago
Drop MDMA and go to a rave night.
shakespeareSMG 6y ago
Any dancing: salsa and line are relatively easy and there are free lessons in most decent sized cities.
antorbug 6y ago
Depends on where you want to be my guy, classic dances are for classy places, and rave dance is obviously for raves. Salsa sounds kinda fun, pick that up first.
TrenGod37 6y ago
I just YouTube how to club/hip hop dance.
The key is to close your eyes. Feel the music and move. Move your feet. Bend your knees sway your waste. Move your arms. Just feel the music
MrAnderzon 6y ago
What's the difference between weird and creepy
shakespeareSMG 6y ago
In my experience you can say or do just about anything if you already have a pivot (female wing). (Helps if there's at some spirits (alcohol) in the mix.)
But if you are alone you will get shit-tested hard and if you are insecure girls will throw the "creepy" word at you like. Waded gum wrapper because they know it's a hot button of late.
yessum447 6y ago
IMO a lot of it is confidence. If you do really non-normal stuff and feel weird about it, you're a creep. If you do really non-normal stuff and love yourself for it, you're weird/interesting.
TrenGod37 6y ago
The difference is neediness.
If you're coming from a place of neediness its creepy
Red_SL4 6y ago
You don't apologize for WANTING a woman, you're a man, that's what you were born to do, and what women expect from you (if you're a man in her eyes). You don't NEED women. You WANT them and you're someone they also WANT thanks to all that work you put in yourslef, so you take them.
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Wissenschaft85 6y ago
Her desire for you is the difference. If she wants you, anything you do odd is just weird but funny for her. If you fuck up and ruin the desire (or it was never there) then she'll paint the same actions as creepy.
Of course, theres this some actions that are creepy. The basics of communication. Not making eye contact can be seen as creepy as well. Or you know, something ridiculous like drooling while staring at her tits the whole time (maintain eye contact).
TrenGod37 6y ago
Creepiness comes from neediness
Wissenschaft85 6y ago
Thats a good point, looking thirsty is creepy. lol
animalsarecool69 6y ago
Life is an experience man, nothings good or bad.
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shakespeareSMG 6y ago
Great reminder to be different, daring, and cool without being the dancing monkey.
Sound like you've got a good thing going and I would ride that gravy train our to the bittersweet end.
Being an experience helps if you have some props: cool job, cool car or bike, nice place by the beach but it also shows the value of good game, tight frame and an outgoing personality.
Stay Alpha
ZFG
SigmaMale1 6y ago
Written like a true autist.
Guys, do yourselves a favor by working on your social skills through repetition instead of listening to this 'quick fix' advice of 'being an experience.'
I'm already cringing of the thought of a socially awkward 4 sperging it up on the dance floor thinking it will get him laid.
Fiesta17 6y ago
It was a tip on a frame that works followed by anecdotal evidence to reinforce different aspects of the tip and bring up possible missed perspectives on said tip. Just because you had imagined some sort of sjw neckbeard letting loose doesn't mean that's how it read. This is solid advice for people at different stages of self improvement.
SigmaMale1 6y ago
That's a fair point and I completley understand where op is coming from.
However, I am taking knowledge from my past experience and admitting that at least for me, the "just do what you want approach" makes you appear socially miscalibrated and unaware of existing dominance hierarchies.
For example, if a kid at the bottom of the pack starts acting like he's alpha (not caring what other people think) he's going to come off as having little social awareness.
On the other hand, someone who is in good shape and has a solid foundation of social skills takes ops advice and let's a little loose, good things will probably come.
From what I've been reading in the comments section (and also threads asking help for common sense social dilemmas) the past few months, it seems like most of the current trp readers fall into the first category and I believe that advice like this is counterproductive to those readers.
So while ops advice is definitely applicable to a subset of readers, it shouldn't be treated as gospel.
No excuse but I was hammered when I posted my original comment.
TrenGod37 6y ago
Sigh. Interpreted like a true autistic.
Quick fix? I'm not telling you to do exactly what I do. I'm saying be your own experience. Aka be your own unique person. And let that show when you're interacting with people.
You know how many guys want to let loose and dance but won't because they're scared? Tons.
Same with the ones who are socially awkward. All this shit is uncomfortable at first and is learned through repetition. The message is be who you want to be and let it show.
And Dancing will get you laid way faster than your robotic social skills will. Sidebar kid
OverthinkerTRP 6y ago
How long of going out to the clubs consistently did it take you to get to this level?
TrenGod37 6y ago
Hmm. Good question. I would say it's always an on going process. I obviously didn't start this way. But I would go push myself every time I went out.so I guess it would all depend on how good you are at breaking your comfort zone.
I got to a decent level pretty fast. But mastering it to where I feel I owned the club took some time
SigmaMale1 6y ago
"be who you want to be and let it show."
How blue pilled has this sub become.
Doublespeak for "just be yourself."
While I do agree that social skills must be developed through repetition, I believe members of trp, myself included, are better off practicing how to navigate more complex social interactions as opposed to just appearing like you're comfortable with yourself.
I can see now that my last comment came off as a bit crude, but I'm only trying to help others based off my experience.
A couple years ago, I read the advice, "just don't give a fuck." And took it to heart because it's easier to just act like a moron than it is to concretely practice reading social cues and becoming a better conversationalist. This gave me a spot right in the heart of the friend zone of all the girls I was interested in.
All I'm saying is that we all have limited energy and that if you think that learning how to dance is the most resourceful method for getting you laid, you are delusional.
For the record, I'm the head of recruitment for one of the largest fraternities on my campus with a robust social circle and get plenty of female attention.
TrenGod37 6y ago
Becoming who you want to be and letting it show. Is nothing like "just be yourself" like I said sidebar you may have read it but you didn't absorb it.
No where in the post do I tell anyone to go get dance lessons and make that your main goal either. If you want to fucking dance. Then fucking Dance. If you want to sit in a booth with no pants on and whack off By all mean be that. But stop caring what others think. guys are too afraid of "how they look. Or how ppl think they look" to dance even thought their whole body is screaming to jump around in a club.
Who gives a fuck. You should be doing what you want to do because you want to do it.
hafunnylol 6y ago
Why are you responding to this guy? He's wasting your time.