Time and time again, I have been referred to as an asshole, a dick, a twat, a cunt, and a variety of other names. It doesn't bother me, because there is a clear difference in being an asshole and being a bad person. Girls refer to an asshole as someone who serves themselves, and use it in a derogatory way, like the word fuckboy is used. Nonetheless, being one does not make you a bad person by any means, and one very BP mindset is to associate being an "asshole" with being despicable or distasteful. I will use myself as an example - I am a nice person by all means. I will give up my seat for an elderly person who needs it more on public transport, I will help a child grab something out of its reach. If appropriate, I will genuinely do something to help someone else and make their day easier without compromising my own. But to be an asshole, as in self-serving, is not a bad thing. I wrote a post about the changes I saw in myself after swallowing the pill, and mentioned that TRP is all about self-improvement. Self improvement can be looked at as self serving in the sense that you are doing things to benefit and 'serve' yourself.
The times I get called an asshole are when I refuse to see a girl again, or if I go cold turkey on not responding to their dumb messages, or if I don't call them or blah blah etc etc fucking bullshit that wastes my time. THAT is compromising myself for someone else who doesn't need or deserve it. While this is a very 'asshole'-esque mindset, it's the mindset you need in order to focus on yourself and personal well being. This does not make me, or you, a bad person. With my friends, I am in no way an asshole, because we do things for each other as homies. With my family, I would die for them. But other irrelevant people? Fuck that. One line I always use to explain myself when a girl is irritated by my inhibition towards relationships is "Im not looking for commitment" - this is an asshole line, sure, but the bigger picture in mind is more important. I don't want to waste time with trivial relationships when Im focusing on building myself up and have a vision that Im striving for. I have a vision and want to be a physician and help poor/underprivileged children in developing countries, for example. And I don't think thats something a bad person would want to do, and Im sure all of you have your own goals and visions of self improvement and success, to in some way benefit society as a whole.
Thats all mates - just always remember the clear distinction between the two.
[deleted] 6y ago
Men that have spine, can be assertive/have boundaries, and don't let people treat them poorly are bound to ruffle feathers.
The only way to get along with a lot of people and never "be an asshole" to someone is to live as a doormat.
Alpha_Jedi 6y ago
Excellent post. Always good to have reminders like this, especially with something that gets some commonly confused.
[deleted] 6y ago
Whether you are an asshole or a bad person is irrelevant. The question is whether or not you are successful in making money and getting women. The rest is really irrelevant. I've destroyed peoples' lives. I've driven three people to suicide (last one was an ex-employee who tried to destroy my life and I got her arrested on some serious stuff [she actually did] and she stated my name in the suicide note and blamed me). I've bankrupted some people (they had it coming and I did it with the powers of the courtroom).
If that makes me a bad person I really don't give a fuck. In fact it's really fun. I'm a successful lawyer, rental property owner, insurance and annuities salesmen. I'm in the best shape of my life and getting better. Young women flirt with me and start conversations out of nowhere when I'm at the gym or Starbucks. I'm married and having kids soon so I'm not interested in other women but it's nice to be desirable.
Also remember that the so-called good people are really just lazy apathetic scum 99% of the time. It's easy for them to be good because are worthless, incompetent and ineffective in life. Look at all the folks who protest, demonstrate, and riot for BLM, ANTIFA, Communism and the homeless. They do nothing to make the world better (awareness is not a fucking contribution). They set no better example, they don't demonstrate a better alternative, they just want to take and steal from those who are productive and responsible.
To borrow from my grandpa. If you don't suck my dick or put money in my hand, you are worth more dead than alive to me (or 'I don't give a fuck').
NeoFlux9 6y ago
I really want to know when you blow your own head off, it will be a funny story.
ItsNotShane 6y ago
deleted ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.3303 ^^^What ^^^is ^^^this?
[deleted] 6y ago
If you have to be an asshole the majority of the time to be an "Alpha" then you are doing it wrong.
Assholes who are assholes all the time are typically bad people.
There is a right way and a wrong way to be assertive, and it's true that some people will always call an assertive person an asshole, but they are in the minority.
chaseforest 6y ago
Yes you're right, but it depends on who you have to be the 'asshole' to. The right way to be assertive is to stand your ground and not succumb when someone is clearly trying to take advantage of something you have. The reason I made this post was to convey the fact that just because someone (typically girls) deem you an asshole does not in any way make you a bad person. I have friends who have succumbed to a girls BS due to guilt from being shamed an asshole or a dickhead, and its always sad to see because they genuinely feel they did wrong when in reality they were just being necessarily assertive.
circlhat 6y ago
the definition of bad is just as arbitrary
max_peenor 6y ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh4f8SUp-PU
I think GLO's cartoon cousin here captures some of this.
Calling someone an asshole is a labeling behavior. Accepting labels is a beta trait. This is a Tier 1 Shit Test.
scottishredpill 6y ago
Relevant FR from many moons again: http://bit.ly/2qVkRdD
Mckallidon 6y ago
THIS. Just the other day my friends were roasting me and someone said that for a huge asshole I actually do a lot of good and decent things for people lol. Anyone who is their own person is an asshole because everyone is always trying to roll their bullshit down hill. The higher up that hill you are, even if it isn't your bullshit rolling down someone's way, you're an asshole because you're not in the shit.
chaseforest 6y ago
Hahaha yup. I now acknowledge I'm an asshole, loud and proud, because there is a distinction and my friends know it. I straight up call myself the biggest cunt and make jokes about it now
Mckallidon 6y ago
My first name begins with an A and I often introduce myself to new women I meet through friends at huge gatherings as Asshole A____. It works awesome. It's self-deprecating, very memorable, a unique identifier, and usually makes them curious because of the mind fuck from them usually hearing nice things to her about me. Usually when they ask if I'm an asshole, my response is I guess you'll hang out with me to determine for yourself.
Generally this technique works like gold with women who meet a lot of people. Once they have your face anchored to something they'll never forget, you're already at least sleeping on the floor in their brain.
Excuses365 6y ago
Excellent post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, brother. Being called selfish or an asshole brings a smirk to my face because it's meant to be an insult.
yummyluckycharms 6y ago
Asshole is a compliment - it means you are doing something right by looking after your own needs first. To be honest, I get a little bit of a high each time a woman calls me that.
chaseforest 6y ago
Yup, I feel you. Last girl who said I'm an asshole, I responded with "Firstly, no one will advocate for me being an asshole as much as me, secondly, refer back to point 1, and thirdly, refer back to point 1"
askmrcia 6y ago
Age old rule, its always the ex boyfriends that are assholes while the women are victims.
I've been called an asshole when I was bluepill and redpill.
Bluepill: called an asshole because they were ignoring my messages, short response on text messages or always flaking on plans and saying they would make up for it on a close future date.
Well in response, this forced me to text and call more because I was thinking they were still interested and this lead to them ignoring me more. See them in person, question them about lack of communication, then BAM I'm the biggest asshole in the world for blowing up their phones or "starting" an argument.
Redpill: Well don't need to give examples because you labeled them in the post.
In any case, its better to be known as an asshole then nice guy.
TangoZulu 6y ago
There is no distinction between "asshole" and "bad person", both are someone else's opinions of your actions that they find to be selfish or hurtful. If you treat someone poorly, you may not believe that your actions define you entirely, but to the person you treated poorly they certainly do.
Don't hide behind a false distinction between two terms. Accept that your actions can and will have an effect on other's opinions of you, reflect upon who you want to be as a person, and make future choices in accordance with it.
chaseforest 6y ago
Yes but I would associate being an asshole with someone who's just a dickhead, whereas bad person would be something I'd call a person who knowingly causes misfortune to others. Yes it comes down to opinion, but more examples in my opinion include:
Asshole: decides to stop seeing a girl to avoid commitment, or say even leads a girl on until he finds another piece of ass
Bad person: person of actions relating to theft, murder, or other forms of commendable harm for self benefit with malicious intent
TangoZulu 6y ago
Listen, you don't have to be an asshole to to be alpha. Being an asshole stems from weakness.
In your examples, dumping a girl to avoid commitment is weak because you avoided being up front with her about your intentions. A true alpha makes it clear from the beginning he doesn't want a relationship, thus clearly setting his boundaries from the start. Leading a girl on until you find another piece of ass is pure lack of abundance and being fearful of losing her because he has nothing else. An alpha doesn't have to lie and mislead women unless his SMV is so low he doesn't have other options available.
In the end, being proud of being an asshole is hiding your weakness behind false strength.
TangoZulu 6y ago
Regardless, you are creating this distinction in your mind to protect your own ego.
You are attempting to convince yourself (and others) that treating someone poorly is acceptable as long as you're just being an "asshole" and not a "bad person", when the reality is you will be judged by others based solely on your actions regardless of your semantic distinctions.
What I am saying is that the only control you have over how people view you is by your actions. If you hurt someone, telling them that you're just an asshole and not a bad person doesn't change anything for them. You still hurt them. All you're doing is trying to ease your conscience.
TL;DR: You are hamstering.
TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
Great post.
Remember this:
Remember you can always apologize if you mess up, and a woman can forgive you. A woman will never look at you the same however if you're a pussy and can be pushed around. Once you're in that frame in her mind, it's pretty much done.
BudRock56 6y ago
Believe it or not, I have been called an "asshole" before. I have never really thought about the op's point, but he is right. Being an asshole is usually a subjective judgment of one person based upon something you did. Being a bad person is a judgment too, but usually based on more objective criteria, like violating a criminal statute.
Example of asshole: Unexpectedly blowing a load in a bitches face without asking her first.
Example of bad person: blowing your load on strangers' backs on the subway
baardpastei 6y ago
I lolled so hard that my neighbours are gonna think I'm mad hahaha
SilverGryphon 6y ago
I had single mothers call me a selfish asshole just because I refuse to be their provider. They would be so sweet at first and then turn into demons when I break it to to them that there is no way I'm ever spending a dime or a second of my time on their kids.
cleopad1 6y ago
I mean unless you were marrying her, I don't see why you're obligated to lol. It's not like a date or one night means that you automatically agree to buy shit for her kids. And also, wtf is she introducing her kids to her boyfriend so fast? Just screams irresponsibility to me, tbh
Entropy-7 6y ago
I have only dated two single mothers in my life and neither expected me to pay diddly for their children. In one case, we agreed that I would never even meet her son.
Edit: and it can be dangerous too. For instance, under section 147(4) of the British Columbia Family Law Act, you can get tagged for child support if you have been supporting the kid.
TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
That shit happens in the USA, too. I've heard of several men who got involved with single moms and ended up on the hook for child support. That is ridiculous.
SilverGryphon 6y ago
Its called paternity by estoppel in some states and in Canada, this law does not exist in my country.
chaseforest 6y ago
WHAT???!! YOU REFUSE TO SPEND YOUR HARD EARNED CASH ON LEECHING SINGLE MOTHERS AND THEIR KIDS??? YOU ASSHOLE!
Hahahaha, sure you're an asshole, but that doesn't make you a bad person, just a smart one imo.
Gawernator 6y ago
Maybe even a good person since it almost in a way discourages becoming a single mother ..
[deleted] 6y ago
This asshole, but you're not a bad person...
aanarchist 6y ago
it's not even asshole behavior. women have just painted men who have respect for themselves as assholes, because they refuse to slave away for them.
newName543456 6y ago
Asshole becomes new racist/fascist/xenophobe, as in slur so overused that it lost most if not all of its impact.
twatbutters 6y ago
Uh, what? How exactly is he an asshole? This is a cuck's mentality. No individual should feel compelled to spend money on a single mother. She slept with another man, and most likely divorced/separated with him for a silly reason. Why should you invest a cent into another man's child when she probably made the decision to be a single mom?
chaseforest 6y ago
Oh I meant it in the sense that you are self serving and your priority is yourself. "Asshole" can have a variety of meanings, I phrased it wrong but the message im trying to convey is that just because you may be an 'asshole' doesnt make you a bad person. His decisions are completely on point, I'd be disappointed if anyone succumbed to that shit
Edit: also, "asshole" from the girls perspective not actually saying this guy is an asshole, I just phrased it wrong
Kirosate 6y ago
They already get every taxpayers dollar
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StraightWhiteMaleLOL 6y ago
Interestingly enough, I've had the most success with single mothers. I make it clear to them, either directly or through my actions, that I am not going to be their provider. They still love the sex.
SilverGryphon 6y ago
The ones I met suddenly became all religious and would pull out the "only sex after marriage" card. Clearly they don't want me for sex, they just want me for my money as somehow I look like a beta-provider to them. I know that as soon as the right guy (read attractive) passes by, they become promiscuous once again.
TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
I'm surprised they didn't deny you and go with the "I'm holding out for someone who knows what I'm worth", lol, like I see in dating profiles of single moms. Makes me laugh everytime!
vwzwv 6y ago
It's a jedi-on-beta mind trick
says_harsh_things 6y ago
Frame is rusted through, engine doesnt start, fuel tank has a leak. Body will need to be replaced. No low ballers though - i know what its worth!
TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
Lol, perfect example. I've been through that before.
StraightWhiteMaleLOL 6y ago
Well, my sample size has been pretty small, but so far the ones I've been with can't resist the D.
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TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
It's laughable and depressing at the same time. We've gone so far backwards (more or less) in the west that low-value women like that see themselves as high value.
Yet, like one of my neighbors (single mom) and one of the women my landlord tried to set me up with (4.5/10, 35 yr old woman) they remain either single or pair up temporarily with rather undesirable men, with predictable results.
No gracias!
[deleted] 6y ago
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TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
Ha ha ha yes, anything I do that billions of people have done before me is hardly a cause for being arrogant.
Men have life hard, and don't normally get a false sense of self worth since we more often than not have to work hard for what we get in life, along with hardships women can't even fathom enduring.
[deleted] 6y ago
Asshole means he won't give me what I want on demand
As you stated, that's not a bad thing nor will it hold you back from your goals.
chaseforest 6y ago
Yup, but a lot of people have misconceptions and get severely offended upon being called an asshole and take it to heart. I have friends who have gone back into full beta mode after being referred to as a dickhead by a girl, its sad to see..
[deleted] 6y ago
Being called an asshole, Jerk, selfish, self absorbed, all good, and I wear those traits like a badge.
The amount of times I get called the above by the women is off the charts and when they do, I have a cheesy grin on my face and say, I know I am so what is the problem here? ;)
[deleted] 6y ago
Thats why its important to judge your own behavior. If a man can do that, he cant be shamed into servitude
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ozaku7 6y ago
Which is also why women like assholes, because they are irritated that this asshole doesn't give them what they want, and they know what they themselves are wrong but don't take responsibility.
TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
My ex the latina was honestly a bit hard to handle at times and I got upset onetime and put her in her damn place. She responded very well.
First woman to tell me, and I quote: "I may not like it, but I need to be told no sometimes." And yes, she called me an asshole once or twice. Great learning experience.
We really need to show young men by example - and teach them - about being firm and denying women everything they want at times.
[deleted] 6y ago
big misconception that women like assholes
women like confident assertive men. they prefer a daddy type who wont bend to her will by using frame and amused mastery.
but the asshole is miles ahead of the kow towing beta
TaylorWolf 6y ago
What?
Women call men that they like "assholes" it's their word for sexy uncontrollable guys. They almost always say it playfully with a smile
ozaku7 6y ago
That's the same like the word shit, deuce, crap. All mean the same, just a different word. One will think you are an asshole, the other will think you are a man that doesn't comply to the petty needs of women.
[deleted] 6y ago
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locrelite 6y ago
Well, no, you are an asshole when you place yourself above others. The only "nice" things you mentioned are the Hallmark channel nice things you have to do to get a Hallmark card from your mom, and you absolutely did not have to post a bunch of defensive paragraphs on the internet to get that street cred, brah. You are the definition of a bad person: me and mine and fuck everyone else. I'm not saying you shouldn't go with it, cause, fuck it, we're all going to die, but don't delude yourself: you make the world worse because you place your economic and genetic imperative above all else. You are literally terrible, and should smoke more. I mean, how do you even get into situations with people you consider trivial? Why bother? Because you want something you can't always get so you "lower" yourself (as if that were possible) and then get snippy because you think you're below your pay grade. At least have the dignity to know you're a vampire, mate. At least you wrote a post, as you mentioned. About swallowing.
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max_peenor 6y ago
Ironically, when you are above others women want you more than them. You only get there by putting yourself there.
TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
You don't have much experience in the real world, do you? That is not how it works...and there is a big difference between being a bad person and being labeled and "asshole" because we simply denied someone manipulating us or using our resources with no real gratitude or the equal amount of respect and help in return.
If you don't put yourself above others sometimes and keep yourself from being used and thrown away, who will? Food for thought.
The rest of your comment was more of a rant and a bit incoherent.
locrelite 6y ago
Yeah... no. I am the asshole any subset of family or friends I know, eclipsed perhaps only by my dad. You get to be an asshole of varying moral decency by saying sometimes true things in a preferably hilarious way, or you get to be an asshole by being a huge dick to everybody. The language is imprecise on this matter, but I've definitely been both.
Not putting up with manipulation is a basic requirement of maturity, not a lifelong jihad.
Also if you're trading fungible resources for gratitude, you're not looking at a condo any time soon.
NeoreactionSafe 6y ago
What is funny is that you begin with the correct answer which is that when you place your own reality above the accuser (the accuser being the one calling you an "asshole") it sets up the dynamic of conflict.
Where you are missing the picture is that you should never permit others to treat you as a slave. That's the beta male's Blue Pill inverted reality where being a Nice Guy™ and serving others creates this fake "virtue signaling" situation.
You must stop that... "Kill the Beta"... end the slave mentality.
So if you actually understood the situation you should be aware of the offensive nature of being expected to be a beta male slave.
You almost got it... just think more deeply and you will get there.
The downvotes reflect you having missed the core Red Pill truths.
locrelite 6y ago
I mean, really, I didn't come to TheRedPill near blackout drunk at 3am expecting upvotes, nor shall I come this evening at 2am near blackout drunk expecting upvotes. Rejecting a slave mentality has zilch to do with being nice to people. I'm going to assume OP is not literally a slave, so defending his right to live his life the way he wants is redundant, and frankly weird. Though not necessarily weirder than my drunken urges to attack people in the small hours of the morning.
Red Pill seems to conflate service and kindness. The Nice Guy(TM) (I don't know how to get the cool TM in reddit but it's awesome) fallacy of being nice enough to get laid is a sexist absurdity loathed by all, but Red Pill philosophy says "Ah hah! I have a counter move!" instead of just not playing.
If you find out being nice to people doesn't get you fringe benefits, and complain about it, you have missed the point of being nice.
And you enslave yourself with this beta/alpha nonsense, by your own definition: do you think any person you think of as alpha is sitting around thinking "man, glad I wasn't born beta." ? They don't even conceive the distinction. Partly because they're busy (good), partly because privilege is blind (bad), and definitely because they're not circle-jerking over how they're totally good humans no matter what anybody says (good).
NeoreactionSafe 6y ago
By the time you read this you will have forgotten you wrote it due to being blackout drunk....
However...
Let's address it anyway.
One should be nice to others. There is nothing wrong with a pleasant personality as long as you hold Frame when others cross the line into your territory.
Two independent people can stand apart and be cool with each other.
In fact that's what we mean by "masculinity" that men are stoic and well bounded by a strong Frame.
It's only when Game crosses the border and invades your Frame that you must be willing to fight if necessary to prevent invasion.
Nice is when everyone stays in their Frames.
The Alpha can be nice when all those below him (his slaves... betas... passive men and women) play within the false reality that they are supposed to play. The Alpha wants "Happy Slaves" to pursue their careers and be obedient to him.
Only when the slave challenges the system does the power from above seek to punish those below.
locrelite 6y ago
Sadly my narrative memory is a fucking iron box so I can't even forget the time I crawled up my stairway singing What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor after puking on my neighbor's porch, and that's really the kind of night you feel like you've earned your blackout, but nooooo your brain says fuck you YOU WILL REMEMBER.
So a) wtf is this "Frame" bullshit? I assume it's important because it's capitalized, and b) the alpha status you seemed determined not to possess is an existential neurosis, not the mythological Fact you seem to think it is. You're not wrong in thinking there are a host of deeply fucked up expectations in society. But you play directly into them and make them worse by obsessing over whatever it is you've failed so hard at that you resent whatever this alpha beast is.
Let's be clear: if the movie 300 had an asshole I would ram my little white cock into it until one of us broke. Screaming at shit is fucking awesome. But the masculinity you aspire to is precisely the social construct you claim to be above. You are fighting nobody to stay inside a teenager's interpretation of why they can't get some touch.
And jesus fucking christ NO, power from above ALWAYS seeks to instill powerlessness in those below via abstract punishment and encouraging them to find reasons to hate each other. When an actual slave challenges an actual system that has slaves, the system just kills them. That's slaving 101.
NeoreactionSafe 6y ago
Power tries to create darkness below.
The Enlightenment (which was smack dab in the middle of the Founding Fathers time) was an attempt to battle the "forces of darkness" of that time.
They were successful to a degree and from the period between Andrew Jackson and Woodrow Wilson (~1825 - 1910) the American Revolution was doing pretty good fighting off the Globalist Tyranny that was formally known as British Colonialism. In a sense the old British tyranny went into hiding for a hundred years or so until they regained control.
What this means is the Globalist Tyranny can be defeated for a time.
The hope today is that we can repeat some of that and knock down the Globalist Tyranny in our age and buy us a little Enlightenment.
However, even that analogy has some flaws because during the Enlightenment there was a counter movement which was the Romantic which pushed Blue Pill themes.
It's always a battle for freedom... eternal vigilance is required to keep these Globalist Tyranny fuckers from sticking us in the ass.
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TryDoingSomethingNew 6y ago
This!
If a man bends to the will of others, he's a sucker, and will still go home alone with nothing but his "honor" and faux "chivalry."
Ironically, women respect a sucker less than a man who says no. One of the hardest lessons in life, and one I had to learn, too. Tell a bitch "NO!" sometimes, and loudly/firmly.
NeoreactionSafe 6y ago
That's a big part of the Red Pill which is getting guys to realize women are not supposed to be slave masters over men.
"No" is the slave revolt... the Red Pill says "No" to the Blue Pill mythology.