I'm only a few months along my red pill journey and this subreddit has been a really reliable resource for me as I become better at ditching my old blue pill tendencies.
There have been a couple of posts lately about the benefits of meditation (mindfulness, transcendental, etc) and I wanted to weigh in with some of my own experience here.
I'm no zen master, but I went through a period of time where I meditated every night for about 20 minutes over the course of 3 months.
It's just like going to the gym — if you fall out of practice or attendance, you start losing the benefits.
About a week ago, I picked up meditation again. Even though it's such a short period of time, I can already feel a shift in my own behavior during the day.
Put simply, regular meditation helps your mind default to a more "satisfied" state. You're able to appreciate what's going on right in front of you or around you.
Proverbs and zen wisdom have talked about the destruction of being focused on the past or the future, and it all rings pretty true. It's great to have goals ahead and learn from previous mistakes, but you'll be so much more content if you're just focused on what is happening right now.
Being more content has led to the following for me:
- More relaxed in all conversations (coworkers, bosses, friends, family)
- More present when speaking to people, which leads to a better sense of connection. This is helpful, since women connect on a more emotional level and don't really listen to the literal words coming out of our mouths.
- Better perspective of where I am — I don't psyche myself out thinking of where X or Y could go wrong, how I'm going to get the girl to do what I want, or focus on any of my past failures.
- Seeing the world through a more unbiased lens. Everything seems to be in its right place, I don't get as frustrated.
- Speaking more slowly, and less. This was a big blue pill tendency for me; I'd talk way more than I needed to. Now, I don't really have to try to restrain myself — I'm a lot more comfortable in the silence.
- Much clearer thinking. This helps with asking more questions, having more natural conversations, and knowing what to do/say.
- Better sense of self-esteem. Before, I was always caught up on my less desirable qualities (height @ 5'8) or not coming off as "masculine" without a beard or some dumb shit like that. Now, I'm more in touch with who I am under the hood — and it just crosses over into my daily life.
I'm not out here to sensationalize meditation. But it's made a huge difference for me.
And in reflecting, the period of time where I meditated for a few months was also the period of time that I was developing attraction from girls HB8 and higher. I think it enabled me to not care too much about how they saw me.
Meditation is free, and you can just give it a try to see how it works! Take 20 minutes that you would have otherwise spent on your phone and try it out.
And thanks for all the advice and resource, this community is great.
Edit: Thanks so much for the gold! I am in a greater state zen than before knowing that it was helpful to someone.
throwawayclarkken 8y ago
So here is a question for all the people in the thread telling about the benefits of meditation
How do you actually go about it . How do you get your mind still
[deleted] 8y ago
For those looking to find time, turn the radio off during your commute. You'll begin to find comfort in the discomfort of being alone with your 'self'.
Sounds easy, but many dudes don't know how to be alone with only their mind to keep them company.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I totally agree with this. My stereo was broken for awhile, and I realized how much of a difference in my neural state this made just driving around.
As much as I love music, the dopamine rush I get from it can act like a crutch in certain situations. Silence should be embraced — meditation or not
When I was growing up, my mom talked about the importance of "being your own best friend." This isn't an invitation to be a social recluse, but rather it was helpful in understanding that at the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to.
Learn how to sit in quiet with yourself with contentment and you'll always be fascinated with the rest of the world as it enters into your life.
the_calibre_cat 8y ago
My stereo has been busted for years...
nolonger34 8y ago
This is actually what I was doing without realizing in one of the busiest times of my life. I'm not quite sure I was meditating, but God damn did I organize my thoughts in that time.
edwardhwhite 8y ago
I meditated 45 minutes a day, every day, without missing a day for 2 1/2 years. More than 900 days in a row.
One day during that span I had to endure the stress of a move. I set my alarm for 8 AM and went to bed. The next day I got up and started moving. At 230 I had one load left. I realized suddenly that I had not had a conscious thought all day. I had just done the obvious right thing for 5 1/2 hours without thinking and was stress-free.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
That's a really powerful testimonial, since moving is probably one of the most stressful activities known to man. Meditation is like an armor for your brain.
jazerac 8y ago
This is how I feel a lot of time hiking. 6 miles later you realize you had few and far between thoughts. Very stress relieving
[deleted] 8y ago
For me the keys to successful meditation are:
Avoiding dopamine hitting activities, web browsing, TV, Movies, masterbation, cigarettes, etc. I find that if I'm engaging in these my mind is very restless and I have a hard time quieting it.
Focusing on my breathing. Breathing deep into my balls and then "releasing" the breath, not pushing out the exhale, just letting it rise out of me.
Straight back and body relaxed.
Eyes open and focused on a single point. I try to pour my mind and my consciousness out through my vision into that point.
When I do these, mediation brings me a profound sense of peace and joy. I also find that it greatly increases my empathy and compassion towards others. It makes me interested and generally give a shit when others are talking to me and be able to give them 100% of my attention. It gets me out of my head, less concerned with others perceptions of me and more concerned helping people, even if that's just by listening or a smile etc.
Also, you don't need to sit down and make a time specifically for meditation. Every time you find yourself waiting, where you would usually pull out your phone, just sit and focus. Same goes as another guy said for driving by yourself. Turn off the radio and try just being present and focusing on driving instead of driving on autopilot.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Number 5 is so big and I feel like it's the hardest one to process.
We do everything else in our lives with a big goal or outcome. Meditation really is like a "You get a trophy for showing up" kind of activity. You don't have to "meditate harder" than somebody else, you just have to follow the rules and empty your mind to the best of your ability.
If you do that, you're winning! And I totally agree about giving a shit what others are saying. I'm able to concentrate with interest so much more on what they're talking about; I visualize their stories as they unfold, instead of trying to think about what I'll say next.
Thanks for the reminder too about not needing a dedicated time to do it. That roots to practicing mindfulness, which is something that can really add a lot of peace to a person's day.
aanarchist 8y ago
do you have any resources, articles or videos on meditation? i'd like to get into it but no idea what and how.
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hungryneko 8y ago
Insight Timer on Android or just search guided meditation on youtube, if you have the youtube app on your phone you can save them offline to access any time
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Warbandx 8y ago
I like Reggie Ray Dharma Ocean. He has a number of free programs on his web site that you can download along with podcasts and more information on how to get started.
gnarlsagan 8y ago
Audiodharma is an amazing free resource with hundreds of talks and guided meditations. Here's an intro to meditation I like from them: http://www.audiodharma.org/series/1/talk/7171/
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outercourse 8y ago
Many of his talks are available in podcast form now too. Search Alan Watts Podcast and it should come up.
xXSoroxXx 8y ago
I've been using Headspace. You start out with 10 minutes a day and advance to 15, 20 and more advanced stuff. Super easy to get into and lots of depth.
asktrpthrow123 8y ago
Headspace is nice but it's really not worth paying for in my opinion. The guy just repeats the same thing in each mp3 for the most part with little twists. I'd just get the trial (I think they have one) and repeat it if you really need it but, ideally just sit there and focusing on your breath is just as effective.
I did like the organization of it though.
dongpal 8y ago
how to focus when he Talks the whole time... i stopped after first try
[deleted] 8y ago
Doesn't matter if he talks the whole time. If you can focus when there is noise, you can focus anywhere, anytime.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I wrote you a long comment last night, but it got removed for linking to the Meditation Subreddit...
I'd recommend checking out their resources! Just remember that there is no 100% correct way to meditate. As long as you are following some basic principles, you can practice however you are most comfortable.
I'm not a meditation expert, but I think those are the 4 "non-negotiable qualities" of a meditation practice. (Someone can correct me if I'm wrong or missed something.
Personally, I like to sit on a bench. My dad made the one that I'm using right now, but this one is pretty similar. I also close my eyes and try to observe the colors that appear, the deeper I relax.
Hope this helps you! As for inspiration, I thought you might like this article. I know that we aren't trying to emulate celebrities, but there are some pretty successful folks who practice TM.
Message me if you ever have questions!
refusewool 8y ago
Is it normal practice or even effective to meditate with your eyes open? I know I shouldn't care what people think but I'm not comfortable sitting on the bus or a bench in public with my eyes closed (this is entirely as a supplement to meditation with eyes closed within my home)
TRPDigesting 8y ago
That's a great question. My dad practices what he calls traditional "Zen" meditation where he does have his eyes open.
Eyes open or shut; it really depends on what technique you're going for and what's more comfortable.
But my dad has been doing this for over 5 years now, and he seems to have his practice pretty well locked-down. I think it's plenty effective.
severeXD 8y ago
I was wondering the same thing, please answer this OP
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TRPDigesting 8y ago
YES! I'm a huge fan of Alan Watts. He has a great autobiography too, called "In My Own Way" if you're ever interested in checking it out.
Katavasis 8y ago
Check out this.
About which practice,choose a traditional one.Don't buy into the marketing stuff.
benefit111 8y ago
So according to your article tea ritual can also be considered as meditation. Cool!
Katavasis 8y ago
Well,the short answer is yes.There is actually the tea ceremony,which is a Dao. But i would recommend to practice the traditional meditation.Sitting down,practicing pranayamas,kriyas etc.
gistaminute 8y ago
Thanks for sharing. Still too early for me to be able to make the same conclusions, but it's certainly part of a cluster of behavior in people I respect and I've done it. I've done it 20m daily on and off for about 5 years, 1-6mo periods... I've made so many changes it's hard to say what meditation did or didn't do, but it's certainly enjoyable after a while (like lifting or cold showers, after initial painful hump). I was having very strong visuals for a while though they don't seem to come much recently. Tangentally related FR/meditation from last night:
Zen and the art of the dance floor was my meditation last night. The more I paid no attention to anyone else as separate people and just focused on myself and my movement and being some kind of vessel to make the dance floor
betterbalanced, the more people responded to me. Now I am undecided about all the Chakra stuff but I'm reading about it because it's enjoyable, has some consistency... like a good sci-fi that could have truth / benefit.Anyway, so I started focusing my attention on various Chakras while flying solo dancing for shits and giggles, I'd look at somebody and guess what they were missing (heart, strength, voice, etc) and focus on those aspects as I danced to complement them (idea was like captain planet, forces combine and make the dance magic!). Like focusing on different parts created different dance styles. I also came to the conclusion that I think way too much while I'm out and that is making me a thought dominant person which is something I could see when I looked around. As I think I remove my attention from the surrounding, obviously. I would go outside and have these thoughts, but would scan through my senses and look at where everyone else's senses were every minute or so...
I got the idea that 'aura' could be a metaphor for body language. I was literally out dancing while thinking this. I had one whiskey sour at about 10p, smoked 3 bowls of weed outside every 60-90 min, and was out till about 2:30a... very interesting evening, again. I've done this a few times. Could certainly be done fully sober but green pushes my experimental dance game way up.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Thanks for sharing your experience too.
I think that the consistency is the biggest piece of it. For example, I took 10 days away from the gym and I came back feeling really weak. The interruption of the practice makes you feel like you fall behind quickly — perhaps why the strong visuals have faded a bit for you.
I like how you're out there trying to sense peoples' aura! I admittedly haven't done a lot of research on chakras, although when I was doing NoFap I carried a small crystal around that was supposed to help activate my sacral (sexual) chakra.
Before you write me off as a crackpot, I don't really believe in the crystal method. But I picked one up super cheap on Amazon for fun and I thought it would be a good sort of "totem" for me to carry around as I was working through a recovery from porn and also the bluepill. And if there turns out to be some benefit, cool.
Keep me updated on your meditation practice, I like to hear that more Red Pill folks are doing it.
[deleted] 8y ago
I don't think the crystal is a bad idea. Sort of like a reminder, or a sentimental ornament. Right? No magic necessary
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Spot on. It was intended as a reminder that I was striving for something a little bit greater than before.
Plus, I've always had a fondness for geology. I got a rock tumbler for Christmas when I was 8.
failingtheturingtest 8y ago
This is something I need to be making time for.
I had a relatively serious back injury a couple of years ago, and after about 9 months of chronic pain (and countless physio, chiro, myo anything therapy) I started a program specifically designed for chronic pain. Concept was simple. Meditate, stretch, exercise every day. Made a difference when I did it, but it's too easy to forget about it for a few days until the pain starts stopping you from doing things again. Then you have to work back up to a workable state.
Now with my gym routine the physical side of it is nary an issue, as i stretch every day at the gym. But I've completely forgotten about the meditation, and just reading this post has reminded me how much more stable life is when you take that time.
An app I used at the time which was "Headspace". It had little 10 minute exercises that you do each day. Good way to train yourself before doing your own meditation.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Check out what u/TAMRP said here. You don't necessarily need to have an allotted time for it, you can practice mindfulness during the day in the right situations.
I do however recommend meditating before bed, as it helps me get to sleep a lot faster.
Kanyeisindebt 8y ago
Been trying to get into meditation again, feel like it's the one thing I'm really missing. Not going to lie I been discouraged after the first two sessions and stopped. From what I hear is that you just need to grind it out the first couple of times till it gets a lot easier.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I know how you feel.
Try not to consider it to be a "grind" and think of it more as a "buy in." Your mind is disorderly and it likes being that way. It's like being sprawled out on a couch, versus sitting upright and proper. It feels good to lounge around, but you're ultimately not very composed.
It hurts for the first minute or two of sitting up straight, and you want to lay down again. But after that, you feel much more in control sitting upright...and your mind wants to stay that way. I hope that metaphor works, I had a lot of turkey today and it's pretty late.
Just remember, there is no goal other than focusing on your breath and emptying your mind to the best of your ability. You needn't not be a master on day one.
Kanyeisindebt 8y ago
That metaphor is just what I needed thanks man
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mlgwarrior420 8y ago
I haven't meditated in over a year, and let me tell you that this is true. It's really great for your overall mental health!
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Absolutely! You should get back into it. People have reported hundreds of benefits to meditating, and even if only half of them are legit, it's still an amazing ROI for such a small amount of time spent doing it.
I like to think of it as a "secret weapon." Not so secret, though.
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Buchloe 8y ago
Been catching myself a lot lately hating the silence and turning to my phone, checking fb etcetera for something to fill the space. When I notice it, I make a point to set it down or shut my laptop and just try to quiet my mind and be content. When I do, it always ends up being enjoyable
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I notice the same thing too, particularly when I'm in the elevator. It's a short 15 second ride to the lobby, but I still feel the itch to stare at my phone...it's just a conditioning that needs to be broken.
Buchloe 8y ago
Sometimes I really want to go back to a cheep flip phone. Got along somehow before
[deleted] 8y ago
The world is your face. This has nothing to do with drugs. When you look in the mirror and see your face, you feel, "This is me." This feeling is not just from the mirror, you can look at the whole world, and feel, "This is me." You can look at the whole world and sky as if its your face, or your body, or a second body. You can walk around in yourself. You can feel the embrace of yourself, and the peace that comes with it. The only reason you don't perceive yourself as living in yourself is because you temporarily think otherwise.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I'm tempted to permalink this comment, just because I think you hit the nail on the head.
It's being able to look at the world with no feeling at all — no bias, lens, preconception, or murk of your own past clouding the present view.
Somebody else up here mentioned Alan Watts, and he makes a point about this in a lecture where he talks about "what exists."
Snippets of his lecture also were sampled for this song. It's really good, if you have a couple minutes I recommend it!
What Fills the Gap ft. Alan Watts
[deleted] 8y ago
Thanks. I will bookmark it. But I would add, and this is just my opinion, that "feeling" can be valid in being present with the sense of touch, or in the sense of peace or bliss coming from meditation.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
You make a good point there. I suppose I should have chose a better word than "feeling."
I think what I really meant to say is that it's the absence of judgement, one way or the other. You can feel and experience things exactly 'how they are.'
This helps me a lot even during the day if I hear a noise or something annoying. It doesn't really bother me as much as it used to, because I realize it's just noise...there's no "right" noise or "wrong" noise. Just how I respond to it.
[deleted] 8y ago
Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. =)
Soarinc 8y ago
The benefits of meditation can sorta be ingrained into your life (kinda like the end of the movie limitless where he no longer needs to take the pills daily because he did some sort of long-lasting pill to permanently change his brain chemistry) not gonna try and pretend it's not a fake, scripted movie—I'm just trying to say that I used to meditate but I instead just use 1-2 simple things in my life to remind me to be "in the present" I'll link a few videos here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTZS3SqpT-o&t=329s
Basically, understanding flow and being "in the present" are the 2 things which allow you to live your life however you choose to do so. Plus meditation makes me sleepy as shit if I do it mid-day.
Anything which gets you to recognize you've been living the last day, hour, or week on "autopilot" will instantly make you realize you're in control again.
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[deleted] 8y ago
I love meditation. Another great item to combine with it is semen retention. Don't masturbate, and when you have sex, don't cum. Confidence and aggressiveness boost.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
You're an iron-clad sex god in my eyes right now, I can't imagine not cumming during sex.
That being said, I know it gets written off as "bro-science" by some, but I feel a difference with semen retention. I think there's a law of diminishing returns with it, like holding a load for a month doesn't really do all that much compared to the first couple weeks.
LidlKwark 8y ago
Aren't there serious risks involved with edging that much?
On a side note: If I do that I will simply get a wet dream. I have stopped fapping for like 4 months now and I have had 5 WD's during that time. That being said, I'm still a teenager so that might have something to do with it.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Some people don't really have WD's, but I always have them if I go weeks without fapping.
I broke my NoFap streak of 120 days recently, but I've stayed clean of porn during that time. And really, I think that was the more unhealthy part. I intend to keep up with that.
LidlKwark 8y ago
How did you feel about the relapse?
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I didn't feel too badly about the relapse, because I stopped acting like the length of my streak was what defined me.
Sure, it would be nice to have kept it going. But I have undergone a lot of growth since abstaining from porn and masturbation, and that doesn't automatically go away just because I broke the streak.
I've seen the benefits of the self control and it'll continue to be part of my life. Plus, PIED was my bigger issue, and I believe that I'm near the end of the journey of rewiring.
xXaroundtheworldXx 8y ago
I'm so afraid meditation might be just another fad and all the positive effects people talk about are just a placebo.
I personally like meditating, but I fear I'm developing some kind of mini-psychosis and everything is just inside my head.
[deleted] 8y ago
Oh don't worry, it can get much worse than that, LOL.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Haha your description of developing a mini-psychosis is pretty akin to how I feel in any new foray. It's like my brain can witness itself being manipulated and changed, and it has a panic response.
Same thing happened to me when I started reading No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Rational Male. I was like "Wait, this has to just be a passing phase, or some new thing that'll pass by in my life." Couldn't initially handle the fact that there was light being shed on dark areas.
I think some of meditation may be placebo (when people claim it's anti-cancerous, other broad health claims). But I like to compare it to cleaning the blades on my Vitamix blender; that thing has to do WORK! So why not keep it clean so it can do its job better?
Now I want a smoothie.
xXaroundtheworldXx 8y ago
Now that I think about it, we do develop mini-personalities tied to certain activities or projects. Like, since I started lifting I've developed my "lifter sub-personality", or, from another point of view, the "lifter sub-personality" has infected me and now it's growing. A real RedPill master talked about this at length, try googling Jordan Peterson...
Katavasis 8y ago
Meditation is Panacea. Unfortunately,people have made meditation a buisiness,so everyones sell 'new and exciting super-theta' techniques etc. Stick to the basics.Pick up a kriya yoga,zen or tao,whatever,and stick with it.
TRPDigesting 8y ago
I agree with you that many valuable, simple things have been monetized to hell. I'm not recommending that anybody pay for anything...I think that one already has all the tools they need for a successful meditation built-in.
That being said, I like Zen and Tao quite a bit. Time tested!
Katavasis 8y ago
Don't change your practice,but check out kriya yoga!It's pretty different than zen and tao,but it's supposed to be the raya(royal) form of yoga.Powerful!
TRPDigesting 8y ago
Thanks for the tip! I'll look into Kriya Yoga. I live around Seattle, so I wouldn't even be surprised if there was some place that offered classes or education on it.