Me 31 gf 31, dating for 2 years. Lately any conversation topic about how we can improve communIcation, from her side always turns into a conversation in 5 min about how I need to improve my communication.
I think she is bad tempered. She says no she is irritable. And because of me misunderstanding her.
Whenever topic of her tirades and hurtful words comes out she likes to say, that she cannot predict my reaction and i should control my reaction better. That no one can make me feel angry other than myself. When i raise my voice and start an arguement and she gets agitated and angry she flips it around and says that what she responses is because of what I said.
Tldr edited: Anytime i get angry at her she say she cannot predict my reactions. When she gets angry at me it will become 'she reacting accordingly to what i say'
When i try to start a conversation about her mistakes, within 5 min it becomes an endless conversation about what i did wrong in the relationship
Edits: more edits for clarity
CanuckinFL 7y ago
DISCLAIMER: I'm assuming you aren't, but if you're screwing like wild things, then you don't really have a problem.
OTHERWISE- You're deep in it. It's only after you step back do you notice how much the shit smells. If you cannot leave, or aren't ready to-make yourself scarce. I mean scarce as fuck, and see if it improves. Don't apologize nor explain, don't answer texts and don't be a "good boyfriend". Oh, and no point in arguing since she's not listening.
Problem with these attitudes is they come with dead bedroom. You can't make up for idiosyncrasies, let alone different viewpoints. Because you don't "make up" and flood oxytocin and cuddle and stuff- Problem is you think of these as problems to be solved. She's not getting it by you and won't forgive a damn thing. It's about feels for her. That's it. as for you-Get laid, somehow. Somewhere. and be scarce.
BluepillProfessor 7y ago
Read when I say no I feel guilty and try to understand shit tests.
Arguing with a woman is like arguing with a pig. It does no good and it annoys the pig.
Stythe 7y ago
I agree with the part about you being the only one who can make you angry. That's just saying you need self-control. You should use your self-control to leave this women if she's making you unhappy.
Fnaut3187 7y ago
Why are you wasting your golden years with a post wall woman?
HiGuysiamkewl 7y ago
Just dump her? Is it even worth it?
I_love_pillows 7y ago
I think she is not able to see that she is wrong and has pride over her choices. I told her this. She said no, she is ok with people telling her she is wrong. Guess just not during fights? Told her that she needs to stop invalidating my emotions, took me a long time to pass the message over. I will tell her again on some conversation issues I noticed lately.
Some remain mindfucks. Like we went on holiday. She screen shot me the time and date of tickets we should take. Okay. I then booked it. I chose an earlier timing ticket out so we can spend more time there. Then i told her the tickets i booked. She goes wtf why you book afternoon time return tickets (instead of night time tickets) I said, you screenshot it to me. She apologizes. When i later told her hey our last day gonna be packed I'll try to see if possible to adjust some activities she goea on a long speech of why I did not see her mistake. What. The. Serious. Fuck. That why i can book earlier morning tickets out but fail to realise her mistake that she told me to book afternoon tickets. Haven't been so mindfucked in a long time.
redpillren 7y ago
Run dude. And don't look back
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Fubarro205 7y ago
Yep. Get out now. I got a divorce after I got tired of fighting the unwinnable battles just like this.
swimngolf 7y ago
Yup same here - I am in the middle of one right now because of this. Get out. Do not get married to this broad.
Str8_Pillin 7y ago
This isn't going to stop. Is this where you see yourself in 10 years?
trp_angry_dwarf 7y ago
Yup. Gaslighting. No good can come of this, you should bail out on her and find another gf.
Trust me, bitches like that can't be changed.
redrogue12 7y ago
I barely remember now. Many years ago I used to live with my gf and our newlyborn daughter. Whenever we had a fight if I had fault I would end admitting it. If I was right, I would use logic, then she would remind me of every damn mistake I had ever made no matter if she forgave it or if it had anything to do with the problem at hand. Sometimes I would end up crying in frustration, wondering how the fuck I ended up in that situation.
It got so bad I developed premature ejaculation whenever we had sex. Even my body was telling me something was wrong. I was dealing with PTSD from a deployment in Iraq, being a father for the first time, having my own home for the first time, living with someone for the first time at 21 and all at once in one year. Took me almost 2 years to admit to myself that I had serious problems with depression.
Long story short: I'm not going back to that shit. Tell her what you expect, never argue, fails twice she is gone. No explanation.
aanarchist 7y ago
take it from me, if you're misunderstanding her it's because she wants you to misunderstand her, so that she can manipulate her. follow your gut dude, you know deep down the whats and whys. i experienced the exact same thing once, the only thing you're doing wrong is indulging her bullshit. tell her to shut the fuck up and to get out, and to call you when she's ready to apologize, otherwise she can fuck off.
she knows exactly what affects you how she's not retarded, she's 31 not 7. like i said your gut knows, listen to that and only that.
if she genuinely wants to improve communication, she starts with herself and working on how she can be a better partner, asking questions getting feedback on what she's doing right and wrong in the way she acts and talks, not by whining about what you're doing wrong.
welcome to the red pill.
Stythe 7y ago
I'm going to second this with an actual example of what not to do:
I had an ex that sent me a scathing, insulting text about how I was a piece of shit for not picking up weed for her broke ass one time while I was at work. I showed er the text later and she told me she didn't even remember sending it. For some stupid reason I assumed the poor girl must have some kind of mental issue and decided to cotinue as if nothing happened.
These kimd of occurences continued on and on until I was in complete self-doubt in every aspect of my life. I felt worthless and useless and my confidence was shot.
That same girl pretended to try jump off a bridge towards the end of the relationship during a heated (and completely pointless) argument where she ran oit of the house batefoot. After pulling her off she continied to scream and yell and almost had some white knight get in a fight with me. She eventually broke up with me when she went to rehab while staying with her parents in California.
This shit doesn't get better. Leave while you can. If she's dumb enough to truly be innocent, which she isn't, then she's not worth your time anyway.
But you'll do what you want. Here's hoping you don't get burned.