Men often change their vocal tonality when speaking to an attractive woman. Instead of speaking with their normal masculine voice, they speak in a higher pitch and use an overly friendly, agreeable tonality.
Doing this robs the interaction of its charge: instead of a man-to-woman conversation with sexual tension, it becomes an emotionally flat, friend-to-friend interaction that would be more likely to end in a boardroom than a bedroom.
Fortunately, anyone can improve their vocal tonality.
But changing your tonality is difficult. We don’t hear our own voice the way other people hear it. And realistically, you can’t change your vocal tonality until you know what you’re doing wrong.
The Key To Changing Your Voice
There’s a simple solution to this predicament: record audio of yourself speaking into a microphone. Even better, you can record yourself interacting with women. That might sound like an awkward thing to do, but you can actually record audio with almost no risk of getting caught.
Simply wear earbuds with a mic and rest them over your shirt. Use the voice recorder app on your phone to pick up the audio of your conversations (or you can download one, I use Easyvoicerecorder).
Once you’ve got some audio of your interactions, listen to it and analyze what you’re doing well and what you could improve on.
Notice how your tonality is coming across: is it overly friendly? Confrontational? Monotone?
Look for anything that could be improved about your tonality. Maybe you could use more pauses, maybe you could speak with more emotion, and maybe you could vary the rhythm more.
Listening to your recorded voice will give you a lot of emotional leverage to make a real change. You might, for example, notice that you’re coming across as quiet and shy.
That’s actually a good thing. When you know you’re voice is timid, you are going to be viscerally motivated to add more assertiveness and masculinity to your voice.
You might be worried that your voice will sound cringe-worthy, but that is exactly why this exercise is so powerful. When you hear your mistakes objectively, you will have no choice but to improve.
Once you have an idea of what you want to change about your tonality, go out again, record your approaches, and listen to the new audio. You will most likely hear a noticeable improvement. .
The Qualities of A Powerful Voice
Breaking rapport:
Men often speak in a voice that rises in pitch towards the end of sentences when interacting with attractive women; this is called seeking rapport. This mode of speaking is very reactive, you’re making your voice extra friendly to try to make yourself likable.
When you speak in a seeking rapport tonality, you’re subcommunicating that you see yourself as having lower status than the person you’re interacting with.
If your vocal pitch remains the same throughout your sentences, you’re speaking in neutral rapport. Neutral rapport isn’t inherently bad, but it risks sounding monotone which is unengaging.
If your vocal pitch goes down towards the end of your sentences, you’re speaking in breaking rapport. This is attractive to women because it indicates that you’re not reacting to the girl: you’re asserting yourself without hesitation.
Passion:
A lot of men speak without injecting any emotion into their voice. This makes them sound robotic. An emotionless voice is like noise, whereas a passionate voice is like music. Attracting women is all about sharing emotions, and your voice is one of the most powerful tools you have to do that with.
Pauses:
Pauses build tension. If you speak without pauses it will quickly feel like you’re trying to bulldoze over the other person instead of having a real conversation involving two people which will make the other person feel uncomfortable. (Did you notice why that sentence was hard to read?)
Pauses can also get the girl to invest more in her interaction with you. If you hold a pause for a few seconds, she will feel an urge to fill in the silence by asking you a question. In general, the more the girl invests in the conversation, the less she’ll feel like you’re a guy trying to get in her pants, and the more she’ll feel like she’s the one pursuing you.
Varied tonality and rhythm:
When someone speaks with a monotone voice, we tune out because it feels like reading binary.
Speaking with a variety of tones will make you much more engaging. A new tonality perks up our attention because it’s unexpected, it adds variety and richness to your conversation.
Varying the rate of your speaking between slow and fast will also make your voice more interesting to listen to. Rhythm is especially useful for emphasizing important points (by speaking slower).
Also, if you speak too fast in general, you’ll make women feel that you’re nervous. If this is the case, slowing your voice down will make you substantially more attractive.
A Deep Voice:
If your voice is deep, everything you say will have a masculine energy to it. You don’t need a deep voice to attract women, but it’s an advantage (like being tall or good looking).
Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch are two of the male actors that women find the most sexually attractive.
Isn’t that strange? Neither of them have the most traditionally attractive facial features, nor are they particularly muscular.
But they do both have something in common – powerful, deep voices. A deep voice by itself can turn a woman so it’s definitely worth putting in an effort to deepen your voice.
I deepened my voice by following the advice in this article (https://vocularapp.com/how-to-get-deeper-voice/)
Wrapping Up How To Seduce Women With The Power Of Your Voice
As you improve the quality of your voice with the methods you just learned, the responses you get from women will become increasingly positive.
What you say matters, but I’d argue that how you say it is even more important. If you speak with masculine but positive voice, women will find you significantly more attractive.
(You can follow me on Snapchat to see infield footage (approaches, pulls, etc.) Username: AveryGHayden
HumbleLion0891 6y ago
As someone who has the vocal capability to imitate Morgan Freeman with little effort, I've had quite a few women take note of my voice. Your voice has power. I say use it.
liquorbaron 6y ago
What if you're monotone as fuck? Women on the phone would always say how sexy I sounded on the phone to the point where they would get off if I escalated about sex. Probably because I was tired and lying down while talking to them.
YBOXES 6y ago
Deep voice is sexy but it isnt everything. In fact you can still sound seductive even without a deep voice, its how you talk and say your words. Record and experiement with different voices.
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koolassassin 6y ago
In this link: (https://vocularapp.com/how-to-get-deeper-voice/)
Point #5 is, Be More Monotone.
But you say otherwise...
Now I'm in a conundrum as to which advice to heed..
Vocular 6y ago
I think that’s because people confuse a monotone voice with a monotonous voice. In reality, studies have shown that there’s no correlation between the two - a low pitch variation made a voice no more likely to be considered ‘monotonous’.
Studies have also shown that men with monotone voices tend to have more sexual partners and it’s one of the best predictors of whether a guy will get a second date. My database shows that it can’t be such a bad thing either. Jon Hamm, Alan Rickman, Tom Hiddleston, Harrison Ford, Jason Momoa and Ryan Gosling all have fairly monotone voices.
GirTheRobot 6y ago
I just listened to some videos of John Hamm and Tom Hiddleston and I wouldn't describe them as monotone... They have very natural phrasing and their voice rises and lowers in pitch where you would expect it to. Not by a lot, maybe a couple tones at the most.
Might be an interesting experiment... What's the average "range" of most conversational voices. My guess would be about a fifth or so.
Vocular 6y ago
They might seem that way, but when we run a standard deviation on those guys’ voices, we find they speak with very little variance in pitch. They can vary in lots of other ways though - volume, speed, vocabulary, etc.
That’s an interesting question. Variance is so split for men and women that you’d really have to put them into two separate groups before finding an average ‘range’. Otherwise it’d be like giving an average voice pitch for all human beings. I’d guess the average range is 11 Hz for men and 20 Hz for women though. The 50 most monotone voices in my database (out of 200) all belong to men.
MrFiles 6y ago
I've been in sales for 4 years I'm 25 now and don't do to bad for myself. I pride myself on excellence and being the best to the point where I know my customers won't come into contact with anyone better than me at my niche
That being said I recently stumble across something amazing. I've begun studying the wolf of wall streets straight line and to not make this to long basically practicing the tonality part has just brought me to a completely different planing field
Like the OP said I thought my tonality was fine (only because I knew when to seek rapport and not)
Basically I didn't have the problem of seeking report with women or my boss my problem was I only had a few tones I used on a normal basis
Nuetral or breaking rapport and excitement but there are so many more that you need to practice and use and it makes EVERTHING CHANGE
I haven't changed a single thing but changing my tone and it changes EVERTHING it's so crazy.
Just try it
jakeinmn 6y ago
I took notes of the course. God its awesome. Any other take aways?
MrFiles 6y ago
Yea grant cardone + Jordan belfort = unsurpontable potential for salesmanship and creating your own income from anywhere on the planet.
The one thing that is great is I will never be worried about getting an income for the rest of my life.
Now I believe I'll be going into copyright which is basically sales on the internet.
Next logical step
jakeinmn 6y ago
Copywriting is indeed legit. Its where I'm with managing a digital Agency. If you want to speed things up, lmk.
MrFiles 6y ago
I'd like to know what you have in mind. Send me a PM
Peter_B_Long 6y ago
I'm not in sales, but the previous company I worked for had us take some online courses on sales. I worked in marketing so learning some sales techniques would help me decide what content to include and maybe what words to use.
Anyways, I noticed that there were some red pill gems in the courses. Things like being absolutely certain about what you're selling and the price you're asking for it (holding frame / you are the prize). Also, the importance of body language and voice tonality. This is why you see people walk around when they're on the phone. Learning some basic sales tips can definitely help you in your dating life and professional life as well.
4juice 6y ago
Also, try to speak with your chest voice and not your head voice. I do this whenever i want my voice to get deep.
CatfreshWilly 6y ago
While speaking from your chest is inherently better than speaking with your head, You also want to breathe with your diaphragm (stomach area). The same as singers do, it helps build much more bass or at least project and is just a more efficient way of breathing/talking in general. And helps from tightening up, which is main factor of higher pitched voices. It will take some practice and time getting used to, but eventually it will become second nature.
To start off, practicing breathing and pushing your stomach out as much as possible with each breath, it will feel weird at first. But again, after some time it will be second nature and give you a much more natural deeper pitch. Theres plenty of free lessons on this all over the internet if youre interested in learning more. Good luck!
Source: quite a few years of voice lessons and a lot of scouring the internet for tips lol
mmishu 6y ago
i regularly breathe from my diaphragm but how does that affect voice? how can i speak while breathing from the diaphragm?
CatfreshWilly 6y ago
It helps you project and prevents your upper body from being tight which raises the pitch of your voice. And again, it just takes practice, it feels unnatural for a while but in time you will get the hang of it.
Quick Article
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SwoleyMoleyFrijoley 6y ago
Alternative method:
Look straight up and stretch your vocal chords/neck. Say "Bing Bong ,King Kong, Ding Don't" repeating it slowly as deeply as you can, and reverberating your voice lower each time. You'll notice it instantly. I do it prior to dates 4-6 times. It loosens your vocal chords through vibrating them.
Captain_Quick 6y ago
That sounds like it might damage your vocal chords. Do you know if it would or not? I would try it, but as a singer with an already low singing voice, I'm not sure I want to risk it.
Medenti 6y ago
My roommates are going to wonder what the fuck I'm doing.
GirTheRobot 6y ago
I was literally just thinking about making a thread about this! I've taken vocal lessons and do some singing. Speaking with your chest voice consistently and never appeasing the other party with upspeak or higher pitched voice is very helpful in asserting yourself and being authoritative.
I work customer service and my boss, who is the store owner, does the same thing. It's a very commanding quality.
CatfreshWilly 6y ago
My lessons have always went more with the diaphragm rather than the chest, that was the first thing they got on to me about. It made a huge difference for me, but of course do whatever you feel is best for you.
pollodustino 6y ago
My choral director in high school taught us that if we wanted to be sure we were singing from our chests and throats, then we should pinch our nose when speaking. If the tone changed/got nasal, then we weren't singing properly.
I made a point to practice that during normal speaking ever since. Took about a year to fully ingrain it as a habit, now fifteen years later I speak that way naturally and can tell when I'm not without having to pinch my nose. The tonal difference is quite audible too, when I listen to recordings of myself or other people.
GirTheRobot 6y ago
Well you don't speak from your diaphragm. But what your teacher was on about (and which I was gonna add to my post) was to let the air/breath come from the diaphragm. You should never inhale shallowly/into your lungs/with your chest. The breath should always come from the diaphragm/stomach area.
​
Making sure of this has helped my voice not to crack. Any time my voice cracks, I find there's a lack of air in my diaphragm and I'm kind of squeezing it out. It's always good to have a repository down there.
CatfreshWilly 6y ago
Yeah i was a little off in communicating what I mean, but very well put. I always wondered why i would sometimes just find myself so short of breath and in turn tensed up
Mrkzmn7pnt62 6y ago
Just chainsmoke so u get that deep manly tonality
randomTATRP 6y ago
You get free cancer as a bonus!
good_guy_submitter 6y ago
The vin diesel effect. Just drink a shot of diesel a day.
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tranquil_af 6y ago
I can tell if you're joking
VasiliyZaitzev 6y ago
Back in the Olden Times, when we still had things called "landlines" and "answering machines", girls would remark on my "outgoing message" which is what voicemail greetings were called back in the day - evidently my "telephone" voice is a bit lower than my usual speaking voice.
In fact, a stripper I was platting admitted to me, in a moment of drunken candor, that she would call me when she knew I wasn't home because listening to my voice gave her 'gina tingles.
So guess which "voice" I use when I am chatting up girls? Exactly.
Now go forth and Slay!
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Jerk-Face 6y ago
ITT: Harnessing the power of your Thu'Um
hazaraMoghul 6y ago
I learned this from doctors. In the hospital doctors would call me (nurse) to give me a patient handover over the phone. They spoke very clearly, slowly and deep voice. To make sure all information is received clearly.
For beginners
It is a very power seduction tool. Deep and relaxed voice also means high testosterone, which literally women can smell and get wet instantly.
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Aghayden 6y ago
Looks interesting - only available for iphone though. If you have an android Vocular is the only alternative I'm aware of.
ValuePrestige 6y ago
Might need to steal my LTRs phone then..
DropDeadTyrant 6y ago
I always find myself lowering my voice around others unless I'm actively aware I'm doing it. I was talking in this high voice to a girl once and then she brought up a topic I enjoy so I started speaking normally. She flinched super hard and lowered her own voice. But, that only happens when I first interact with a girl and not when she gets to know me.
Gruss_p 6y ago
Sometimes I speak weirdly and I don't know why. It's so strange, sometimes others don't even understand what I'm saying because I probably speak with high pitch like an idiot. But it's very occasionally like one hour a day and frequency is like two day in week. It is not in any stressful situation or anything like that. It's so strange. Can't figure out the cause of it. Maybe fatigue? I don't really know.
odaklanan_insan 6y ago
I guess it happens during deep focus / hypnosis states.
It happens to me when (lets say) I'm thinking about a past conversation with my professor about muly future plans, while I'm cooking something and my room mate asks me if I saw his headphones.
I say "i don't know" with that stupid voice, even without thinking about my freind's headphones.
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fanfanye 6y ago
Since no one is sharing Elliot hulse, I'll do it
https://youtu.be/FhJbXPvSDKE
Aghayden 6y ago
He's a great example, especially because his voice sounded terrible when he started Youtube and has improved over time.
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bakamoney 6y ago
I recorded a bunch of calls the other day and my voice sounds deep and sexy as fuck over the phone.
Not so much to me IRL :(
lux_7 6y ago
Great post. Voice is huge.
There are a few great guys out there to learn from. I tried Roger Love and he's great. This is a quick review of his course (with all the limitations that a written article entails on voice, of course).
Another beast is this guy on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/NewYorkVocalCoaching
And don't ask me how come all great vocal coaches seem to be gay :D
Effective_Rate 6y ago
Just make sure it doesn't come off like this...
https://youtu.be/uAKG0Eay79A?t=78
In all seriousness this is a subtle tip but it helps not only get women but it commands the room better.
MagnetoWned 6y ago
Interesting post. I've been complimented on my voice before but honestly when I hear it in recordings I cringe. Maybe it's normal lol. A few girls I work with told me I sound like I'm "7 semitones down" when I'm over the walkie ???? didn't know if that was supposed to be bad or good. Anyway, great post!