It’s all your fault.
Before you learned that it is pointless to argue with women, you might have noticed a lot of your arguments involved her explaining to you why a situation was your fault. You would get dumb and counter her. She would dig in and escalate things to a fight. She would use your confusion as the reason you don’t care for you. Everything would go to hell and your dick you remain decidedly dry that evening. At some point, deciding a dry dick is not worth being innocent of the crime, you will accept some measure of blame to defuse the situation
Most of you will remember this dance, so we can start from a common experience.
For men blame is primarily functional.
The problem with blame for men is that it is functional—it does things. If you take the blame in a court, you get thrown in a cage. If you take blame in a car accident, your insurance costs more. If you take blame in a paternity case, you are now daddy, even if your semen didn’t form the baby. When faced with blame, men instinctively resist it, only to accept it if the calculus of the situation warrants it—you get a lighter sentence if you take a plea deal and your dick gets wet if you agree it was you that left the shower dripping, even though you’ve been taking your showers at the gym for the last month.
Accepting blame for a male is always agreeing to a sub-optimal situation.
For women blame is primary emotional.
The problem (and benefit!) of blame for women is that it is mostly emotional. (I understand that sometimes women end up with real consequences including jail time, but this topic is about managing blame, not if they ever or never end up with it.). Managing blame clarifies who gets to feel what—who feels guilty, who feels sorry, who feels righteous, who feels indignant, who feels a whole bunch of things. This is why blame requires no conviction on fact—it isn’t deciding truth, but other deciding who gets to feel what. Women love doing this sort of thing, as it both plays to their strength of multi-factor communication AND it allows them to replace objective reality with feelings both singularly and collectively.
Managing blame for a female usually improves the situation.
Remember that shower that you haven’t used in a month that you left dripping. When your dick was finally up her ass again the settled reality is that YOU did it. She feels righteous. She assumes you feel sorry, which itself emotional currency for her to spend later (topic for another day). This is a sub-optimal situation for you, but you accept it, and an improved situation for her (positive feelings, emotional currency, lack of consequences and guilt free dicking from you).
I think I just struck oil.
If you have followed any of my saga, you would remember there was a step in my red pill journey where I just ceased to care about how Legal Cohabiting Female felt, which liberated me to do something very powerful: I refused to argue with her. Never. I still won’t. I will listen to her grievances. I will adjust my behavior if it makes sense. That’s it. She still rumbles up from time to time, but the wall will not fall. And that’s not to say she doesn’t get her way, because she does—but not because I gave in to a fight, but because it made sense absent of the emotional delivery.
During one of these rumblings, I let her finish her emotional ejaculation. I recognized there was indeed an issue that needed to be addressed. But I’m also a dick. So I said, “ok, now that we are finished with the assignment of the blame” and then continued with my remedy for the situation. She actually laughed and accepted my solution without reservation, emotional backlash or any other underhanded female machinations.
Wait? She didn’t bring out the siege engines to topple the my wall? I was actually surprised how well it worked. And it worked again and again.
And then I branched out. I lost my mind and did it during an office meeting with a lot of hens. They laughed and then stepped in line. I did it with the mother hens of my youngest’s friends. Yep. Tee hee. I have never had someone push back on me.
Because its needs to be your fault
Since you have all read the sidebar, you should easily recognize which basic RP concept I used there. If you don’t, then it’s time to hit the sidebar again—it’s that obvious. However this is not meant to be a refresher course on that. This is about how you empty your balls inside of an actual woman.
To explain this, let me tell you about a time I failed. Many long years ago I was invited the dorm room of a rather delicious looking vixen. When she opened the door, she was only wearing a robe. We sat on the floor and in a way that occasionally I would get a glimpse of the irrefutable evidence that she was naked under the robe. She scooted close to me and showed me a photo-album of her in high school (why do women do this?). While showing me the pictures she actually slipped in “I’m on the pill” into her narrative of how she didn’t like being a cheerleader but liked the outfit. This was the Oden’s Hammer of Sexual Cues right over my fucking head—and I didn’t get laid that night.
I can’t explain why I didn’t move on her, since I fucked her roommate in the very same room another time and that was all on me. However that explains why I didn’t get laid—it had to be my fault. This chick was so grinding to get fucked that she made the date, secured the location, disrobed, got into physical position to be taken and vocally announced that birth control was handled. But it still had to be my fault. All I needed to do was to be the first to touch and then it would be my fault.
How many of you have a story like this? Probably a lot. Back when I gave a shit about what normies thought, I’d see threads like this on AskReddit. Even if you are explicitly cleared for takeoff, the plane isn’t getting up into her ass unless you deal with the assignment of the blame. Yes, sometimes she will have this figured out already and is emotionally ok with it being hers—then she will initiate. However this is a VERY rare occurrence for the first encounter. Women know as well as men that one dick a thousand times is infinitely preferable to 1000 dicks one time. So be ready to take the blame for increasing the N-count, because otherwise you are going to be left increasing your personal palm-job count.
Let us circle back to something I said before—taking the blame is a sub-optimal situation for men. Got sex, who cares, right? Generally, that’s how we operate but it is important to recognize what is sub-optimal in this situation. The blame you take for the sex is in the hands of the hamster. If it is great sex with a hot guy, the hamster will be a kind custodian of it. If it is shitty sex with Captain Grossness, the hamster will stew. Certainly she wouldn’t just LET that happen to her, would she? On the spectrum of how the blame will be handled, on one end to the extreme you have created an alpha widow who will always crave what happened to her. Good work. The extreme of the other end is you are now a rapist. This is why a customized confluence of red pill tools are needed to slay and slay safely. Keep your dick wrapped. Hold your frame. It can be dangerous to rely on cheap tricks to open her lips. Be someone she wants to fuck her. Get weak? Get wishy-wahsy? Become a turd? Get fat? Welp, you better hope the hamster has a short memory…
Ok before any of you get the Sperg tattoo.
I can’t believe I need to say this, but understand this isn’t prescriptive advice. Don’t barge into your next staff meeting and announce it is time to dispense with the assignment of the blame. Spergtown and the Unemployment office might gain a new resident. Everything I did as described in this post was in a context (including fucking the roommate). I am a very direct but openly playful personality—I get away with this sort of shit all the time.
Also if you keep pushing the same button, you’ll eventually break it. Predictability is a dire enemy to your goals of keeping your dick wet and your available vaginas under control. This isn’t a “red pill tactic” as the PPD bloopers would call it. You don’t sing the magic incantation and vaginas automatically open up every time. Put tools in the box and use as needed, and then perhaps you will get your tool into her box.
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DiSysmic 5y ago
This. I'm no longer looking at that sub, because I feel that AskTRP is more and more becoming a place where guys try to find shortcuts in dealing with women. They constantly dish out TRP vocabulary to make it seem as they understand the fundamental basics of TRP, but in reality they're almost always neglected. This sub is the only one worth looking at once in a while.
woodquest 5y ago
Yes. This is a quest guys ! Not a colection of quickfixes. What makes a man is his enlightenened experience . No patchwork. No warpzone. Become the man you owe yourself by living and observing. No easy shortcuts, but a fascinating adventure. Full of fucking failures and freezing cold rain in your face, which is exactly what makes a man a man !
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
I think you touched on a good point, and why so many women out there always say shit like "Not looking for a hookup" in their online dating profiles.
They don't want to be responsible for making sex happen.
If it was someone else's fault, then it wasn't her fault, then she can hamster away that she isn't actually a slut. It just happened, blah blah
I think we have all made the mistake of getting the green light, basically having her point toward her vagina like an airport worker points airplanes down the runway with those orange flashlight sticks, and not fucking her. Then she loses interest. Why? Because she was ready to be pounded, and you didn't do it. In her mind, this feels like either a rejection, or that she thinks your a pussy. Women hate being rejected, so they will reject you before you can reject them. They also hate cowards, and will lose attraction once they realize you are one.
That's the absolute worst thing you can do with a woman who is into you, is not fuck her when she wants to be fucked. Ignore what she says. Ignore the "muh I want to take it slow muh" and "muh I'm not looking for hookups or casual sex muh" garbage, if she is giving you the all clear, go.
HumanSockPuppet 5y ago
Blame is a consequence of responsibility, and responsibility is anathema to women. They avoid it whenever possible. This is why everything falls to men, whether it's something simple like seduction or something complex like making society function.
Many men look on this state of affairs with despair. But in reality, they should rejoice. If everything is your fault, then you have the power to fix it - preferably to your liking.
max_peenor 5y ago
When a woman says "I don't think we should have sex" what she is really saying is "I think we should have sex, but it has to be your fault." Once I realized this, I stopped missing a lot of excellent opportunities. Women don't bring up sex with you unless they've been thinking about it. They don't think about sex with you unless they are interested in it.
ChadowyFigure 5y ago
Despite the sometimes kludgy writing, I think this post is getting at something that is quite insightful.
A lot of red pill wisdom can simply be boiled down to women having a huge aversion to taking the blame for things. Or perhaps it is more useful to think of it this way - women are turned on by not having to exercise their own agency, and off by having to. It is like her mind is programmed to avoid responsibility at all costs, and resent the source of any amount of it, because having any degree of control over a situation means you have to assume some of the blame if things don't go perfectly.
Think about it from an evolutionary perspective. Would it have been evolutionarily valuable for the survival of a woman to always shift blame away from herself? I'd argue that this social strategy would make a lot of sense for the physically weaker sex that inspires feelings of protection in the stronger sex. What traits might be best at avoiding blame and thus be selected for then? A deep aversion to ever taking responsibility, and a carnal lust for giving up control.
So... you have to make the first move to absolve her of taking the blame (turn her on by freeing her from her responsibility), and the 'believe women' #metoo movement is an attempt to formalize this blamelessness across society.
So... she is not interested in a rational argument, but just wants to make you the bad guy at all costs, to avoid blame by putting it on you instead. AA works so well because you technically take the blame and satisfy her drive, but then immediately pivot to a new emotional state where you aren't the bad guy.
So... she doesn't want to hear solutions to her problem that involve things she could do, because she is, and must remain, sure that she is not the cause of her problems. Sympathy is better than advice to her because accepting advice forces her to admit that she is at least partially to blame for her own outcomes, whereas sympathy can be used to leverage favors. This dynamic is visible at the societal level in the way that women are more likely to support ideologies with more outcome equality (what happens to me isn't my fault, so someone else needs to fix it) whereas men are more likely to support ideologies with equality of opportunity (everyone gets an equal chance, and so is forced to assume responsibility for their own outcomes).
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She acts the way she does because she knows without a doubt, to the very core of her being, that whatever is happening is not her fault. She spends the money because it is not her fault if the money is gone. She cheats because it is not her fault that she isn't attracted to you anymore.
When you remind her that she is a dumb sex puppet with no control over her life, she loves it. But most of the time she doesn't want to take responsibility for that raw truth about how she views herself, so you have to remind her subtly, to absolve her even of the responsibility of being a submissive whore. She wants to be tied up, held down, and bossed around because it removes all pretense of her being in control and allows her to fully embrace the secret truth of her nature that she cannot usually bear to admit even to herself.
Conversely, when you put her in a position where she is forced to confront the idea that she has some measure of control over her own life, she hates it. You have to be the captain to make it psychologically easier for her to not blame herself for anything that goes wrong. She will blame you anyway of course, but she will resent you if you introduce a lot of cognitive dissonance into the act by allowing her to make her own choices too much.
This 'avoid all the blame' schema also has something to say about why LTRs are so difficult. Unless your lives are perfect and you never make mistakes, a man must find a way to be a kind of sexy scapegoat, which is a hard line to walk over the long haul. You have to relieve her of the burden of control to turn her on, which means you are tacitly assuming responsibility for whatever happens, and suboptimal things sometimes happen. The closer you get to her the more she will view her whole life as your fault, because your influence on her will gradually eclipse others' - to the point where you become the only person that she can really blame everything on.
DonPaettyz 5y ago
Great insights sir
empatheticapathetic 5y ago
Really great stuff. Nice one
oxpea54 5y ago
I thought this was just BPD women?
oxpea54 5y ago
How do you draw the line between allowing her to blame you for not cleaning the dishes and cheating?
If you allow her to blame the man over and over, won’t she eventually push it to cheating?
max_peenor 5y ago
That's one of the points--you can't. There is nothing wrong with letting women play their silly women games. It's your job not to give it any value.
ChadowyFigure 5y ago
I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say here. I am not suggesting that the man should attempt to avoid the blame; indeed, I agree with you that doing so is usually a bad idea, and may even be impossible as far as she is concerned.
I was just trying to get across the idea that interpreting women's behavior through the schema 'she is chiefly concerned with avoiding all the blame' can also offer some insight into the dynamics of an LTR.
max_peenor 5y ago
I wasn't countering you.
I poke because some of the best stuff I've read around here that didn't come from the vanguards has been when someone got poked.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
When you're arguing with women, you've lost. You're hoping that the power of your words will change things.
But as a great man once said: arguing with women is like wrestling with pigs: you get dirty and the pig enjoys it.
If you're arguing, you've already lost because she knows why you are arguing: you can't get what you want because you are in a weak position. You need things to work more than she does. You care more. That's why you're still here even though you're visibly upset.
The more the fight continues and the more upset you get the more you've proved the weakness of your position to her. The more you've proved that you can't do anything. The more you have demonstrated your lack of control.
This is why women create arguments with beta men who commit to them: the bigger the argument the more you've proved the weakness of your position. She is comforted and reassured by you being visibly upset but still being there. (She tries to hide the obvious utter selfishness of this action by making it all your fault).
And if you accept any blame, if you back down to "get pussy" or even worse: a quiet life.... she'll respect you less, sex you up less, and treat you worse now and in the future.
You have to run your life so that shitty female behaviour simply results in the removal of shitty female from your life. Whether you've known her for a minute or an hour or a decade: her bad behaviour results in your absence.
For men getting into arguments with women: "You've got ten seconds to calm down". Wait ten seconds. Then leave and don't answer your phone for a few days. This will either fix or destroy your relationship. Great result either way. Next time you won't even have to wait the full ten seconds for her to be sweetness and light.
nebder 5y ago
I used the blame taking in corp life today. Proceeded to get past the bs and on to resolving the issue vs fingerpointing away a meeting. Powerful stuff actually
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Poor writing. Could not finish.
max_peenor 5y ago
https://i.imgur.com/E5slr5K.jpg