Women do not associate sex with intimacy.
This is an insight borne partly of time spent with Rolo Tamassi's rather Excellent book, The Rational Male (despite the tragically awful audiobook version). And partly of my own observation in my (still somewhat...lackluster, waxing and waning LTR.
We all know women like sex. But I think a lot of us still believe that sex, to women, is representative of intimacy. Of romantic love. And while maybe - and i only say maybe - this is true during the courtship phase, it is certainly not the case once you enter into the Bait and Switch (or Relationship) phase of your time with a woman.
For women in any sort of relationship with a man, sex is about power. Period. Full stop. On your part, sex should express your power. Dominance. Forcefulness. The barely contained aggression of the Raw Alpha Male she so powerfully desires. On her part, sex represents bargaining power. If she is your sole source of it, then she has power in the relationship. Perhaps not total power, but some measure of it nonetheless. If she believes, however, that she is not the sole source - or even that you are capable of readily acquiring other sources - her power is greatly diminished, if not removed outright.
What this means, for men, like me, who for some bizarre reason still choose to engage in monogamous relationships (seriously, just dont, at least not until well into your thirties, if not later) is this: You must never let her believe that you cannot acquire ready sources of sex beyond her. Not. Ever. This is basic Red Pill truth anyway; we all know it, or read it, at least, every day. I cannot emphasize, however, the degree to which this will shape your own relationship, especially once you become monogamous with a woman.
Because the simple truth is this: A man's power is expressed through the act of HAVING sex. A woman's power is expressed through the act of REFUSING sex. Again, basic Red Pill truth. But the manner in which it plays out, and the degree of relevance it carries, in your own relationship is important.
A woman who knows that you simply cannot acquire other ready sources of sex will put her power on full display. She will make Sex transactional, giving it only as a behavior conditioning reward. And then only often enough, and with enough earnestness, to keep you in line. Passion will die. Your feelings will falter. Your relationship will become a place of resentful misery, as you face your binary choices: Incel Existence, or Blue Pill line-towing in exchange for subpar sexual "rewards" doled out like the carrot at the end of a very long stick, to a very tired and dispirited horse who has gone on trudging long past the point where he would really rather take a rest. This will happen because your woman knows she does not have to compete for your attention, or the security and stability you provide.
A woman who remains eternally concerned that you have ready access to other sources of sex, however, must compete for your time and attention. She must EARN you. This makes it much more likely that said woman will see GIVING sex as an expression of power (namely, power over another woman, or the power to win in competition with other women). As such, she will give eagerly and without hesitation, as your continuing to reward her with time and attention is a reinforcement of her own belief in the power she wields. But be mindful you dont slip too far into contentment (the mistake I made) and let yourself go a bit. Because once you do so, you end up with the situation I described above, a largely sexless, carrot and stick existence in which you must tow the line to receive carefully doled out sexual rewards.
So gentlemen, work on yourselves. Lift. Stay lean and fit. Maintain your own hobbies and interests. Make her continually enter into your frame if she wants significant time with you. Acknowledge her. Treat her well. But maintain yourself, control the frame, and maintain enough space and "me time" to always leave her wondering if, just maybe, you could slip away to some other lover. Because that will turn her desire to maintain power in the relationship into a desire to express power through competitive giving of sex, as opposed to the manipulative withholding of it.
profpoo 5y ago
Who hurt all of you people?
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Plenty of people, probably. Certainly, in my case.
Doesnt make our info any less true.
[deleted]
ac_AgenCy 5y ago
So eloquent, and sums things up so well. Thank-you.
yenvalmar 5y ago
Its especially funny to just straight up deny sex to women who are asking for it. They turn friggin purple and steam comes out of their ears. They cannot BeLeIvE aNyOnE WoUlD HaVe ThE AuDaCiTy.
Of course I only recommend doing that if you really don't want to have sex with them, otherwise you may be cutting off your nose to spite your face as the old saying goes, as it is pretty much going to make it so you can't have sex with them permanently. Women like to play games but there is such a thing as playing too rough.
In my case it's been because I have discovered some serious show stopping red flags about them over the course of a date (have kids, have an std, have shitty tattoos or piercings that werent in their profile picture, are just batshit crazy), of course ironically those women throw themselves at me but well... red pill fellas.
fuggetboutit 5y ago
if I've read this 4 months ago, holy shit.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
This is not a universal truth, but it is indeed very strongly correlated with beta dating (ie not being hot and paying) and exclusive relationships.
Right. It's been my universal experience that women negotiate exclusivity simultaneously with restriction of sexual access. Certainly they come very closely paired together.
But if you have non-exclusivity, sex stays as an expression of mutual enjoyment and satisfaction. It stops being a game of power and control for her because she knows you have other options. This means she's free to either selfishly enjoy sex for its own sake, or use her efforts to try and maintain your interest. The common theme in both cases is that you'll actually be having sex, unlike "make him wait" dating and "not tonight dear" marriage.
fantumn 5y ago
I can't tell if this is satire, and that bothers me.
BewareTheOldMan 5y ago
"You must never let [a woman] believe that you cannot acquire ready sources of sex beyond her. Not. Ever. This is basic Red Pill truth."
I concur and approve this message.
Looking_4_Stacys_mom 5y ago
Holy shit, sometimes this sub takes 2 steps forward and 1 step back. This is that 1 step back. Not trying to be a white knight here, but some women use sex as power, some don't. Some men use sex as power, some don't. Some women want sex for intimacy, e.g. one of my ex's. Some women use sex as power e.g. another one of my ex's.
You're just fueling the hatred for women in this sub unnecessarily, and one of the reasons this sub has a bad name. What you should be saying is, "If your partner uses sex as power, RUN, because she's a manipulator."
Not all women do, one's that do are bad apples.
fuckingoddamnname 5y ago
I think you might be full of shit. Power is always an aspect of it to varying degrees. Doesn't matter if it's s girl blowin you in the parking lot, yer gfriend or your wife.
imtheoneimmortal 5y ago
​
So we have only power to have sex, we express with sex?
​
FaboulusGrape 5y ago
Thank you. I agree.
Sure, withholding sex is about power. Sex itself is not about power.
[deleted]
zyqkvx 5y ago
Some as in 97% women, and 5% men use sex for power.
You're comment is inherently bluepill because you omitted this part.
[deleted]
[deleted]
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riot2100 5y ago
Thank God I wasn’t the only one who thought this. The idea of questioning everything around you and weeding out the bullshit involves doing so to TRP itself as well.
zyqkvx 5y ago
That's not untrue, but 80% of people in r.theredpill now are own the wrong side of the road going the wrong direction.
max_peenor 5y ago
First, knock it off with the concern troll shit.
Second, stop concerning yourself with what women think and do. All that matters is what you do. If you show your wallet to a woman after a unenthusiastic handy, she'll take what she can get it out of it and leave you holding your dick. If you are the prize, she'll fuck enthusiastically and be happy with just that.
Moar sidebar.
Looking_4_Stacys_mom 5y ago
I'm not concern trolling, I'm just calling out this garbage ass post. It has 0 substance, 0 evidence and filled the generalities like, " For women in any sort of relationship with a man, sex is about power. Period. Full stop. "
​
Like wtf is this garbage. If you read other comments on this thread, other people have similar opinions. OP has some good reasoning and points, but the rest is just garbage and should be downvoted into oblivion.
FryingdutchpaN 5y ago
Agreed. You have to realize this sub is probably loaded with incels though.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Wrong. Do you know where you can find a subreddit chuck full of incels? in r.niceguys, where incels hang out, they act out their incel-ness, talk as though they are the elite few that are not incels, and circle jerk their bluepill to each other. Over the last year r.theredpill has been raided by incels. Now it has 10X as many incels, and they are beating down guys legitimately going through the anger stage.
What people upvote in r.theredpill now days genuinely disgusts me. I'm not without my own flaws that need adjustment. I'm also not on the fools path that so many here lazily embrace.
TheRedPike 5y ago
All subs are loaded with them. What are you going to do about it?
TheRealMouseRat 5y ago
Aren't basically 80% of all single men incels though?
zyqkvx 5y ago
Yes. Take the downvotes as positive reality points. They are denial trigger points.
[deleted] 5y ago
That's why I never understood all the efforts to ban certain subs. Incels were contained to their own little sub where they could hate women all day long and you never had to read any of it, until they banned it. Congratulations, liberals, now incels are homeless bums camping out and spreading their shit all over reddit.
[deleted] 5y ago
Redpill used to be quality, now there's incel trash strewn everywhere.
[deleted]
zyqkvx 5y ago
Oh, is that where all the incels in r.theredpill came from over this last year?
Bluepills insist they are not incels. Now we are set up to see McCarthyism unfold in r.theredpill as bluepills incels point fingers at old school TRP'ers who are pointing fingers back at (but mostly ignore) bluepill incels. This forum is getting eaten from the inside out.
[deleted] 5y ago
If it reads like fan fiction hero story or is particularly harsh on women, it's probably a blue pill lol.
SelfUnmadeMan 5y ago
I think you are confusing liberals with leftists.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah yeah classic liberalism I get what you're after. I don't care. Liberal today means leftist. The old gods are dead.
SelfUnmadeMan 5y ago
The death of these distinctions is toxic to modern thought. The fact that you actually get what I am saying indicates there is still hope.
Since you do understand, please do your part to preserve critical political thinking: use the appropriate terminology.
riot2100 5y ago
Agreed. As a libertarian I incorporate both liberal and conservative ideas into my ideals. To assume all liberal thought is associated with the democrats or the current leftists is an exclusive way of thinking, and will contribute even more to political polarization.
[deleted] 5y ago
The whole point of language is to convey ideas from person to person. Language also evolves. Existing words take on different meanings, new words are created, and some words die out entirely.
Trying to hold on to the old meaning of a word is pointless. Nobody will know you mean the archaic definition unless you explain it.
SelfUnmadeMan 5y ago
While what you are saying is of course sometimes true, in this case the meaning of the word "liberal" is pretty well established and not at all trivial.
Liberals are, first and foremost, believers in free speech and would not advocate eradicating a space that so-called "incels" created in order to associate with one another. Liberals even enshrined the freedom of assembly in the US Constitution. Much of what we have in western society today is a result of what liberals past have fought for.
No, the leftists responsible for the eviction of the incels are of a different flavor entirely. "Oversensitive children with a thirst for blood" is a more apt label. They will tear down what generations of liberals have built just to satisfy their own righteousness and sense of inadequacy, and it will be detrimental to everyone.
Maintaining this distinction is far from pointless. Even you must realize that one of these groups is far more dangerous than the other.
longduckdongger 5y ago
I mean have you seen the spokesmen at these little conventions they have? It’s literally a bunch of chad version of neckbeards who essentially teach psychological manipulation. The entire sub smells of nothing but borderline abusive men.
spistruth 5y ago
Which sub are you talking about?
[deleted]
[deleted] 5y ago
u/Looking_4_Stacys_mom
u/FryingdutchpaN
u/riot2100
u/Deomon
u/FaboulusGrape
u/NexVenator
u/GreetMufasa
u/imtheoneimmortal
u/GodOfDinosaurs
I see that some of you are brand new to TRP. Please read the sidebar to better understand some of the core concepts. Maybe a refresher would help.
Looking_4_Stacys_mom 5y ago
Don't you think it might be possible that a few of us made new accounts?
[deleted] 5y ago
It's never too late to read the sidebar.
Looking_4_Stacys_mom 5y ago
It's not concern trolling. I am just saying it's a bad post rather than concern trolling. I am allowed to refute or call out a post for being crap.
[deleted] 5y ago
?? I'm not sure what you're talking about. I don't think you're a troll.
Looking_4_Stacys_mom 5y ago
Then what are you implying
[deleted] 5y ago
I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you that you have not read the sidebar or you need to re-read the sidebar because you've forgotten the fundamentals.
Deomon 5y ago
Replace women with manipulative controlling bitch and this post makes sense. Most women aren’t manipulative controlling bitches though.
meat-slinger 5y ago
and yet we say AWALT. think abstract!
​
zyqkvx 5y ago
90%+ of women put on a 'honeymoon' persona till they are married then promptly change as planned, and 90% of men are a perfect[ly bad] fit because they are bluepill. This thread, particularly, is filled with bluepill drawl.
Honestly, I'm completely wasting my time saying this. The psychology of influence is not here.
Deomon 5y ago
If you honestly believe that 90% of women are manipulative of their spouses then yes you are wasting your time because your head is so far up your own ass everything you hear is muffled.
zyqkvx 5y ago
There needs to be a new forum r.redpillincel for you and half the other noobs that are dragging r.theredpill down.
Women have completely different firmware.
I don't know what the mods are going to do after the redpill-minded members give up and wander off. I can feel it happening for over six months.
I'm talking to everyone else, more than I'm talking to you.
edit: yeah downvote the person you are arguing with. It's the tell tale sign of a little bitch.
Deomon 5y ago
Women are different does not equal women are manipulative. I’m a very manipulative guy as a habit and I often have to catch and stop myself from manipulating my gf and the people around me. My gf couldn’t manipulate her way out of a paper bag and neither could most of the women I know.
I also don’t believe anyone who is willing to apply a framework based on opinion to 90% of a group numbering in the billions is a smart individual. In case i’m not being clear enough, I just called you dumb.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Women are hard wired to manipulate to the point they don't see it as manipulation. They see it as being part of an established women community and identity. Go to a bowling alley and watch the little girls and boys. Boys are groomed to figure out how to knock those pins down. Girls see bowling (or whatever is involved) as frivolous. They butterfly around seeking attention, ignoring any discipline, and cheering big when they knock over many pins by chance.
Women, as a starting default, don't give a fuck about men any more than you give a fuck about Nike workers making your shoes, iPhone workers making your iPhone, Mexican produce pickers that bring you your food.
I think what you are saying is your conscience is triggered when you are manipulative. We are all manipulative. It's a matter of degree, style, balance of justice, nature, and depth perception.
Deomon 5y ago
I advise you to seek professional help. You’re just as delusional as the Feminists who think all men are toxic and so it’s ok to hate on men as a whole.
You’re whole flawed argument is “this is my personal interpretation of the world, go forth and see it as I do”.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Shaming me now? This forum is going to complete shit.
I take the responsibly of talking from my perspective, not from the collective perspective, yes.
Deomon 5y ago
I’ve been shaming you this whole time and you indirectly called me an incel. You’re complainif now is a failed attempt to deflect because you don’t have a counter argument.
Ill_Will7 5y ago
A monopoly never serves the customer. Only finds ways to further extract revenue.
Competition lowers prices, increases innovation and inspires other competitors that think they can do the same job better, and at a lower cost.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Spot on. In all walks of life.
yamehameha 5y ago
It's true that supply and demand controls the market but it's not the only way to power. Having multiple partners is just one way to show your commodity.
I personally like to treat sex as a nice to have but not a necessity. In other words I control my desires for sex and I'm ready to walk away from it at any moment if it becomes a bargaining tool. I also sometimes like to reject my woman from sex if I feel she hasn't been behaving well. If she asks for dick and I feel she hasn't deserved it I'll let her know playfully that she can have some when she behaves. You might say well she might just see another guy for sex which is true but with this mindset, to her all other men will seem second tier so why would she choose something second best? Sex itself will be less pleasurable to her with other guys because there is no value there and easy to come by (no pun intended).
Basically my point is control your own desires and no one will be able to control you.
Schmo12 5y ago
Mind fucking blown. No joke.
Difficult_Top 5y ago
Or you know, be less of a bad fuck. (Only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic during vaginal intercourse.)
Here you go.
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman https://www.amazon.com/She-Comes-First-Thinking-Pleasuring/dp/0060538260
[deleted] 5y ago
Did you reply to the wrong person or something?
max_peenor 5y ago
Fool proof plan. Become this guy
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
This.
But She Comes First is a bloopie nightmare of a book. Read the Sex God Method.
3slicetoaster 5y ago
it's not my fault if she has a numb cunt
P91XXX 5y ago
Alright not trying to be a dick, but what part of culture does this even apply to? I've never messed around where sex felt transactional. Is this limited to LTR space?
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
It's mainly an LTR thing, I believe. Women withhold sex, doling it out as a sparse reward in exchange for preferred behavior. Its basic Pavlov.
But it only works in an LTR, as they cannot afford to withhold in open relationships/plate spinning, since they will "lose" to competition.
P91XXX 5y ago
Weird. I must only go out with Nicegirls.
tomcat_crk 5y ago
I mean you could just date someone who isn't actually insane and playing mind games with you and using sex as a bargaining chip. I'd dump any chick that was trying that. I dont think its inherent to LTR because I'm in one that is the complete opposite of what you describe. This isn't some universal truth and I dont think you should twist it that way.
spistruth 5y ago
I believe it. Women are by nature very insecure, and this sounds just like the thing they would apply to keep a leash on their man.
wolti93x 5y ago
In other words.
Be attractive.
Don‘t be unattractive.
[deleted]
casemodz 5y ago
It's spot on once a woman loses respect and tries to make you her beta bitch. You probably won't admit it or aren't attractive enough to have orbiters.
Dreamylantern 5y ago
Yep, that must be it! You know evetything about me, darn it!!
casemodz 5y ago
It's not hard when the behavior of an entire gender is typical.
Dreamylantern 5y ago
I'm glad you know everything about everything, good for you buddy
casemodz 5y ago
Thanks it's not easy being a genius with 235 IQ. I get brain fever quite often.
HierEncore 5y ago
sounds like either way, it's a really shitty relationship with a shitty person and you should gtfo of it.
broneilbro 5y ago
This is the truth. The last years have been borderline DB. I can not fault her as I was BP as she was withdrawing from me. I became what she didn’t want but due to that false idea of “love for who you are” it allowed me to get complacent and she wondered.
Now, months ago she mentioned she wanted to separate. She had found herself and was happy and didn’t want anything to take her down. I was on deployment so it made it easy for her. She bought her own house and has moved out. She is so excited regardless of how anybody else is affected especially our daughter. She thinks she had planned it out and “trickle feeding me” with a “trial separation” and wants us to date again. In her mind she can’t do wrong.
Well, life is about to get rude for her. I found RP (specifically MRP) a year ago right before deployment. It was a blessing in disguise. I have a new vigor and I’m in the best shape of my life at 33. I lift more than I thought I would ever. My mind is focused and the nice guy is dead (nice vs. kind). I have my MAP and I know look at myself on the pedestal vs them. I have had girls come up to me and give me their numbers and one chased me out of the bar to give me theirs. I walk with a borderline confidence cocky attitude as I am now coming first. It is a great and inspiring feeling to put yourself first.
My wife has since changed her tune. Her boyfriend probably broke up with her. She is wanting me back and yet this is the same girl who months ago couldn’t stand talking to me. The shift of power from her to me is deafening but staying humble while acknowledging the blunt truth is the key to success with RP. It has been bitter but it has and still is a ride.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Good on you for improving you. That has to he the focus.
moreinhoe 5y ago
This post reflects my recent experience quite well.
I used to "date" a girl who thought we were heading towards an LTR. She had neurotic passive aggressive behaviour, especially if I did not spend enough time with her, or if our dates were boring. I dumped her.
Two weeks later, I plated her and she knows I see other people too. Her attitude has improved exponentially. No more passive aggressiveness. Just a ceaseless desire to not scare me off, based on my observation. Despite my lack of commitment, we are more intimate than ever, as we bond emotionally. It's mostly her telling me how jealous she is about my other plates, but that she's happy with me anyways.
She's actually said she prefers our relationship now than how it used to be, this just blew my mind.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
I have no trouble believing this. Because:
I am trying to bring my LTR round to opening the relationship.
There was a time when she lived and worked 1.5 hours from me. As such we only saw one another (most) weekends. And we had an undhabout weekday...well, plates, to use our parlance.
And we were passionate. On fire. Despite being nearly 30. Weekends were hot sex, fun ventures in Philly or quiet weekends near central PA (her area). We talked, and cherished our time together...and sex was amazing, not the least of which reason, was that we had incentive for keeping one another interested.
I want to go back to that. I'm quietly, carefully working to slowly gain the interest of two plates. One I know is there. Another is close. But I'm keeping it very cool for now. However, I think that's where this needs to go, as without competition she gets too complacent and disinterested.
deeselecter 5y ago
Be careful though never let ur guard down . Women never supplicate unless they getting something of value from u the moment she us done. Its over . Well every living been does that the problem is with women there is emotions , chemicals involved
absolutepaul 5y ago
Sounds like a lot of people here have really terrible sex...
hellothisisjade 5y ago
It may be naive, but in a relationship between two people who both believe the other is extremely sexually attractive, but also have great self esteem, both people know and acknowledge the capability of having sex with others - that allows for the partners to appreciate the other to the full extent since both parties portray their final CHOICE to be sexually actively with each other. I think that this is a greater form of monogamy where the relationship is not based solely on sex but on the actual choice to love, and physically love each other despite outside temptations. Waddaya think?
dreamlike17 5y ago
Wow you idiots are still at it
cafeitalia 5y ago
There is something really wrong when men talk about women as if they are women. Seeing comments like "it is true, women don't have sex for intimacy" or "oh yes it is right, women only crave sex for xyz" etc. Are you a women that you make statements as if they are certainty? You are a men. The important thing is only IDGAF! That is it! The more you give a fuck about women, and their intimacy or their power or their reason to have sex etc you already are losing. Do it for yourself not for her!
AVeryShabbosGoy 5y ago
Man this crap is so defeatist. Don’t date one women until my thirties? I want kids and a family dude. I’m politically redpilled, and I think the modern childless women is the problem. Pre 1960s women were great and infidelity was low. It’s our modern culture that has screwed everything up. Girl I’m with now wants kids and a traditional life. Find you one they exist
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Never said dont date. I said don't date EXCLUSIVELY.
And if you want the burdensome liability of children have at. I dont, and never did.
AVeryShabbosGoy 5y ago
I have a responsibility to my ancestors and nation to produce offspring. We have different life philosophies
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
That we do. Children were never something for which I had either the desire, or the patience.
More power to you for taking on the burden. Some find it fulfilling.
[deleted]
[deleted]
zyqkvx 5y ago
I'd argue women get power from not having sex and men escape emasculation and an identity of inadequacy when they have sex. In a healthy active sex life the women is removed from the pedestal where she bears a cattle whip, and the man is free from a shameful doghouse dwelling.
mocro18 5y ago
Does the same thing not apply to females? If a female shows that she can still attract desirable males, have her own life, and potentially leave at any time, wouldn’t this give her the power? Wouldnt the male get competitive? (Idk this is why I’m asking. I’m a F). The male would need to prove his sexual power, which is essentially what the male would be doing anyways when you say you need to be desirable to other women by staying in shape and getting hobbies. It’s a cycle. This post is saying that females get dependent and docile and use sex as a manipulative tool. But males get docile and complacent as well which sure doesn’t make the female want it either. So both need to maintain their independence and other-person desirability?
So essentially this post is saying that both partners need to be independent human beings from each other to have healthy, sexual relationships. Or that monogamy is a lie. Why does it have to be a competition? Why can’t you stay independent from each other without competition? Would this not turn into just competitive/dominant sex all the time? What if both partners are like this?
Also why does the male have the power to give all the time? I’m a very sexual female in a LTR and my partner refuses a lot. He has the power to refuse me which makes me want him even more at times. Men don’t always need to give either.
~reflective thoughts on this post. Hopefully not judge mental or critical just thoughts and questions I had and would love a discussion. also new to this thread. Want to learn more about this perspective.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
For the most part, the best path to a healthy sex life, is to avoid an LTR. At least for men. Honestly, your guy has it right: give her just enough of you to keep her pursuing more. Because once she gets more than that, things start to decline.
wineinacoffeemug 5y ago
Oscar Wilde : “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
slazengere 5y ago
Heard this on house of cards, didn’t know it was an Oscar Wilde quote! Deep.
this_weeks_account2 5y ago
One of my favourite quotes of all time, and one that truly represents life more than we know.
RudeGarbage 5y ago
The gays sure do know a lot about fucking
[deleted] 5y ago
Interestingly, the gays are also using sex as power. Think about that for a second.
[deleted]
Auvergnat 5y ago
Of course this quote is in the comments.
It’s untrue though. Sex is about sex. At least for guys. Feminists loooooove to say that “rape is about power” because they’ve never lived a second as a man and cannot comprehend our sexual urge, especially one frustrated for too long.
I always thought that this bizarre idea of “sex is about power” claimed by feminists must be some sort of projection - that this is how women feel about sex. And OP made a sensible explanation here.
TheReformist94 5y ago
Sex is only about power when said male is a beta. Women enjoy sex for sex with alphas, and the alpha is doing the female a favour putting a dash of his jizz in her
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
Thank fuck. Someone gets it!
RedHeimdall 5y ago
Yes. Such an over-rated quote. Not true for straight men who are not in prison.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Thanks for writing this reply, which is an uphill battle.
Right. for women sex is about power. for men it's about being unchained. Rape isn't about power, it's about being dehumanized by dehumanizing those [women] who refuse to relent power. I'm not saying that is good or just. I'm saying that is the byproduct of extremes. The best tool men have to avoid such shit mindsets is abundance, self improvement and deprograming themselves of the bullshit they are raised to believe. Everything we are raised to believe is a quilt woven to serves 1000s of other people types, and never yourself..
wineinacoffeemug 5y ago
Respectfully this comes across as a comment by someone frustrated by a feminist strawman and with "frustrated sexual urges" on the brain. People who don't imply rape is justified if some poor noble gentleman goes without too long, tend to get laid more. Weird I know. Anyway this quote I posted was said by a man and I was reminded of it the other day by a male friend...never yet met a girl who has heard it before. I think it refers to sex as a whole/in culture, not just rape. Maybe try not thinking about rape so much
Auvergnat 5y ago
This quote was posted by a gay man with a strong bias for displaying his witticism. Doesn't make it true. If you want to take a quote seriously, bring me back one from a politically unbiased scholar who did a career researching men's sexuality from a biological, hormonal, neurological perspective instead.
There is no strawman here. This "sex is about power" thing is 100% cannon feminism theory. Ask any feminist. And my comment doesn't come from a place of frustration - only of intellectual curiosity to understand where could such a quote come from as my sexual urges have never come from a place of "exercising/gaining power over women". I just felt a strong urge to fuck. Not dissimilar to my urge for water when I am thirsty. Is thirst for water about power too? And if you're not convinced, wonder why millions of men beat their meat to porn? To exercise power? It sure doesn't make one feel powerful.. What about the men fucking sex dolls? Where's power in this?
Hence why I have always been perplexed by this Oscar Wilde quote and its appropriation in feminist theory - I could not relate to it one bit.
wineinacoffeemug 5y ago
I agree with basically everything you have said but my one thing would be, I don't think the quote implies "sex means male power over female", which is why I became confused about the talk of feminism and rape, as IMO the quote denotes that much of life for both sexes is spent immersed in innuendo, striving to have sex (women also do this, so I wasn't conceptualizing this scenario as "men have the urge to fuck women, who do not reciprocate and who believe all sex is rape/power/fetish") For me the quote represents the ubiquity of sex in culture, and the fact that commonly sex can express power, but not necessarily of one person over another, bending them to your will etc. I have often personally said I consider sex akin to a handshake because it isn't usually this astoundingly intimate experience that some put it on a pedestal as. I'm sorry for coming across as rude. I just wasn't immediately certain why suddenly the conversation was about feminists crying rape and what have you when I saw the quote as being more multifaceted than that.
Cheers
uwey 5y ago
I am learning the new way to make LTR works. Because I want a kid and a family.
Build your own, and travel along. That simple. Refuse to give her sex, as man, refuse her sex is very powerful. I would rather go Europe and have fun.
Just make sure she have much more to lose than you. Because ultimately, divorce rape is real. Your frame has to be well polished and battle tested, because you going to need it.
Don’t get married until you are around 35-40.....I have fun, so should you. And don’t married old women, let them die so your kid can go school that young teacher teach, give it another 30 year, all old liberals cat lady will die, the end.
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AlphaAndy 5y ago
You warn against sex becoming transactional yet you also warn to never enter a monogamous relationship? To never get close to someone? To never depend on someone?
If you feel your love life with your partner has become stale just tell them you fucking moron. Maybe if you got your head out your ass and actually communicated with your partner so both your needs could be fulfilled she would want to have sex with you more.
Fucking Americans man...
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[deleted] 5y ago
True. Sex is not intimacy. Women like intimacy with their sex, but they also like intimacy just on its own. Sometimes intimacy leads to sex, sometimes it doesn't. Intimacy in a relationship is an opportunity for a woman to feel close and feel safe. Intimacy builds trust.
Sex is power for men, not for women, unless you have the shit luck to be with a manipulative bitch.
For women, sex is validation. It validates that they are attractive and wanted. Why do you think women love to hear that they're pretty? If you want more sex in a LTR or a marriage, you need to maintain your alpha male frame or whatever ya'll are calling it here. Do something manly, say she's pretty, grab her ass, and head to the bedroom. It's really that simple.
Now, for your strategy.
If you're with an emotionally insecure girl who is hopelessly attached to you, your strategy might work here. The thing is, I've dated girls like that and getting sex from them is never a problem. They crave it because it's the only time they feel good about themselves.
For self-respecting and emotionally stable women, that strategy is going to backfire. Remember how intimacy means safety, closeness, and trust? If you sabotage the intimacy in your relationship, all that goes out the window. No sex. She is living in a home with a man she does not trust, that is the farthest from sex you will ever be.
So, to wrap this up.
If you're in a relationship and you want it to work, do not fuck around with intimacy. Do not break her trust. If you want more sex, be a man and get it. For most women that's as I described above. Be the alpha male she was attracted to in the first place, be playful, and address that instinctive insecurity: say she looks hot.
viyacondios 5y ago
I agree about the self-respecting and emotionally stable women. My LTR has been upfront about her boundary that she won't share her partner with anyone else, and I respect that. I've admittedly shit tested her about this in the past but in the end the value she brings to my life makes the tradeoff worth it!
I am upfront about my boundary that I expect my exclusive partner (barring reasonable health concerns) to enthusiastically have whatever kind of sex I want, whenever and however often I want it.
Earlier in our relationship I was still bluepill and didn't have my boundary established. Regular sex was and always has been hot and enthusiastic but she would refuse certain things I wanted ("eww do I have to swallow every time you cum in my mouth??"). Eventually I became frustrated and told her we were done. She decided that this was a problem that could be solved, so I gave her two months to convince me of that. We've been good ever since.
She knows I can find someone else if needed. (I don't actually find other people now though because I've got other life goals to pursue. I just know I can.) And she knows that even one refusal from her will be calmly taken by me to mean that she's opening up or ending our relationship.
Keep in mind that every woman is going to have some things she really enjoys with you, and some she just (what I'll term) enthusiasticly tolerates. The former is evidence of her true attraction to you, the latter what maintains the balance of sexual power in the relationship.
EDIT: I think I'm coming off full autistic in this post. The autistic rule setting is important, but in the end I've found I do exactly what you say. Be the manly man she fell in love with, smack her ass, tease her about how you're going to ravage her (bonus points if she likes pretending as if you're a horndog whose attention and attraction to her is a nuisance, all the while she's actually eating it up; this attention is very validating for a woman), and carry her to the bedroom.
snowdogmom 5y ago
People care way too much about sex lol
Churningaway 5y ago
It's nothing special once you've had enough of it
snowdogmom 5y ago
yeah and movies / porn are so unrealistic. It’s honestly not that great. Learning a skill is a waaaaaaaay better use of time.
pieredforlife 5y ago
It’s totally an art by making women think you have abundant supply of sex, if she’s level headed she might leave you, perhaps she’s after monogamy
dankmemem88 5y ago
What's wrong with the audiobook version?
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omega_dawg93 5y ago
abundance mentality. learn it. embrace it.
if you have an abundant supply of female love around you, i'm sure every man here knows it will eat-away at your time.
but here's the deal: you don't really NEED to have an abundant source of (real) women. all you need to do is master the art of making her think you have an abundant supply... by being unavailable at times, sending late night texts/calls, and not answering her calls/texts immediately.
just be patient enough to let her start thinking you have other stuff going on as most women have zero patience.
littleblacktruck 5y ago
Dread Game, my dude. It'll turn a dyed haired Bernie feminist into Laura Petrie.
TheTrenTrannyTrain 5y ago
Basic "make it till you make it."
Worked wonders for me.
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Embershift 5y ago
Just another incel. I sincerely pity you.
victor_knight 5y ago
Women are actually very discriminating about whom they really want to have sex with (or "give" themselves to, if you will), even though they are willing to have sex with just about anyone (yes, man or woman) for the right price.
Litsandwitch 5y ago
Ayyyyyyye but who Who isn't, am I right babyyyyyy?
klol246 5y ago
Why you act like you wouldn’t bone some man for the right price
beginner_ 5y ago
Because I couldn't. It's simply utterly disgusting to me. Would you do 2 men 1 cup for any amount of money?
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victor_knight 5y ago
For one thing, I don't need the money that badly (and I don't care to buy a yacht).
klol246 5y ago
Doesn’t have to be about money
majaka1234 5y ago
Well who's fucking for beanie babies?
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zamtrivedi 5y ago
Well that escalated quickly
Deomon 5y ago
Price is not equatable to a threat of violence. You’d probably take a dick up your ass to save a loved one too.
Hoodwink 5y ago
It's important to understand why all women are essentially bisexual (thus why they will mostly support the feminist line that gender is fluid) - it's about the partners ability to show power and dominance that reactively forms their own (small n) narcissistic headspace where their own submissiveness turns themselves on.
Therefore, for a women to be turned on, it's not about gender or even the looks of a man (although it helps). It's about attitude and how you can tell a story with your hands, body, and voice. And the likelihood of her believing that story.
All women are 'bisexual'. That's why 'political lesbianism' actually makes sense to women.
And that's why women aren't necessarily turned on by you even if you are Adonis. They get turned on through their own submissive headspace that tells a story in their head. It's why all women experience high levels of talkative-neurotic story-telling behavior - it's an essential part of their sexuality.
humanoid12345 5y ago
This is good material. Spot on, and well expressed.
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
Ayo. Another person who gets it.
Furthermore, if you can master talking dirty properly, you basically resonate with this internal narrative and can reprogram her mind. It's fuckin' powerful shit. That internal story-telling is what you're tapping into when you talk dirty. Real Dominance allows you to completely subvert her own internal narrative.
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j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
It's subspace. You need to be good enough at reading state changes to know when she's there. Mastery is putting her there against her will (consentual non-consent). Frame, game, and the least spoken of thing here: D O M I N A N C E.
Be Dominant. This won't work if you are not Dominant.
You are likely entirely too quiet. You won't dirty talk well if you remain silent during sex. Get used to making noise while you fuck.
Manhandling. Getting her into subspace is making her surrender control. If you can't, don't, or won't manhandle her this will never work. The more and more firmly you touch and handle her the better this will work. You are a man. Handle her like a man. This ties into no. 4.
Narrate, sensualize, sexualize. That's the order. Narrate what you're doing (manhandling, fucking, sucking, etc.), sensualize it (how you feel, what you feel, what that makes her feel, how intensely, etc.), make it sexual (tie it to what you're doing to her cunt). Get David Shade's Hot Phone Sex. He legit ran a phone sex hotline for women where he gave them Os with nothing but his voice.
That should be a good enough start.
lonewolfsigma8917 5y ago
Can you please elaborate on that sir ? I am a new to the red-pill community, i never heard about this, please could you tell me how its done ??
j_arbuckle2012 5y ago
Don't beg.
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lonewolfsigma8917 5y ago
Man ! You have a GOLD MINE of evidence for POLITICAL LESBIANISM (ft. Andrea Dworkin) , i don't remember, in some porn sites as well, it says "EVERY WOMAN IS A LESBIAN AT HEART", could you tell us some references of books & some articles & exposing their bisexuality? Please can you provide any link PLEASE bro ???????????? ??
Hoodwink 5y ago
Go open up some books. And slog through some shit. All the feminist stuff I read was 10 years ago.
I know you're sarcastic and trying to be offensive to me, but seriously, go read the stuff that you're supposedly defending. It's like you're a Christian who doesn't know their own bible or the history surrounding it.
There's plenty of stuff I agree with under some feminist writers. And could be considered 'red pill' with a certain lens if you added bio-evolutionary reasons for the reason some stuff exists rather than blaming and blanketing everything under a nebulous concept such as 'patriarchy'.
And it seems like you haven't taken even 1 feminist lit class because mine was filled with stories about barren women, older 'straight' women turning to other women as their sexuality changed (and being seduced by women), and the regular drivel about media portrayals of women oppressing women.
So, in my experience, the concept that 'all women are bisexual' is one of the basic tropes within feminist literature you will see constantly...
lonewolfsigma8917 5y ago
Absolutely not man , i am a MGTOW MYSELF, i never came across this knowledge , which you have , i sincerely apologise if i came across as rude to you brother, i know you are a nice mate, that is why you are giving knowledge to younglings like me , i am not even married YET & i will NEVER ever get married again, especially after what happened to a friend of mine ,he was an executive in an insurance company , a six ft tall hunk, aged 28 years, he married a 28 year old woman, who was even more beautiful than hollywood divas, after 100+ days, SHE RAN AWAY with a 19 year old boy & then filed a divorce ,meanwhile my friend was completely desyroyed by false allegations & domestic violence & harassment against him in court, judge didn't give her a penny, coz she ran away just 100+ days after her wedding, have you seen a 28 year old man crying like a BABY ? I have & that was the day i decided to go my own way , i will never go through the destruction of a family, which happened to my buddy. All i wanted was this knowledge of yours, i only heard that ANDREA DWORKIN was the one who concocted this theory of POLITICAL LESBIANISM , but i used to laugh about it, but seriously your argument knocked some sense into me & thats why i asked you about it. Again I APOLOGISE if i came across as rude to you. But i was not sarcastic my friend. ????????????
lonewolfsigma8917 5y ago
Please sir, could you suggest some study materials about that
Hoodwink 5y ago
I'm almost sure you can browse through some collected feminist works from the 80s or 90s and find the straight women discovering her sexuality by becoming a lesbian trope in almost all of them. The process and the internal descriptions are the most interesting and I'm not sure what the best example would be.
Andrea Dworkin and anyone associated with her when they talk about men's sexuality can reveal how they think about sex (because they get men so wrong. And it's not until you realize how women think sexually that it starts to make sense because it's a twisted analogue to women's sexuality).
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Shankar_ 5y ago
This is a really great post to help me understand so so much thank you so much for this
lonewolfsigma8917 5y ago
Got it bro ? That is why womwn behave so strange around men
Hoodwink 5y ago
In some feminist lit, there's actually some ideas that are useful in understanding whats going on. Somewhere along the line you have conclusions that say women are oppressed by their own sexuality (they'll hide it by blaming men and patriarchy, but if you actually dissolve the academic garbage, you'll get the main idea).
And there's some other ideas like masculinity is performative (not only in life, but sex). And other nuances in some other literature. While feminity is reactive (and that's evil and oppressive and instilled by men and the patriarchy).
Of course, it's filled with absolute garbage and academic dumpster fires of elitist wordage.
But, every once in awhile, you get a peak under the curtain with their own sexuality because they'll often assume men have their sexuality - but are secretly hiding it.
I believe we can tap into a women's submissive nature, but it's nowhere near as strong and encompassing in the body and mind as women.
spistruth 5y ago
Can you directly explain women's sexuality? I read your last two comments but your english is a little too advanced for me.
Hoodwink 5y ago
The TL:DR is that men are turned on by sight. Women are turned on in their head. The way to their head is to make them realize they want to be a worthy sexual object. This can take a lot of different routes that aren't focused on the gender of the partner at all.
A women's sexuality is very different than a straight man's sexuality. It's not a mirror image. It's a separate system that's narcissistically focused on a women thinking about herself as a worthy sexual object for her partner. It's 'reactive' rather than chasing and choosing physical criteria.
Theinternetroll 5y ago
I know it's a different point you're making.. But the last part made me think of my situation.
I ended up in an LTR with a girl...... I know. I know.
Anyway, this girl is my exact physical 'type'... exactly what I look for, so much that my friends and family make jokes about it.
Physically I'm the exact opposite of anything she's ever dated. I'm a white 5'9 190lb nightclub bouncer. Her boyfriends have all been tall black dudes..
I cold approached her and we started dating. I chose and chased, she reacted.
She says she doesn't have a type (okay nicki Minaj) but with me having such a specific type it's hard for me to work it out in my head.
Can girls really not have a physical type at all?
Hoodwink 5y ago
What's the story she's telling herself? Perhaps, it's different than what she's telling you.
E.g. she might not be telling you that she realizes that tall black dudes aren't going to be the best father's or that she wants white babies. Or she realizes that she was being mistreated all the time is now looking to change it. Whatever it is, the only thing you can do is work on yourself and see if she if she is responding. Sometimes, communicating that you're putting effort somewhere is necessary, but it's all about what she is responding to and reading into her responses somewhat.
She might be making a purely cognitive decision to be with you, if you're okay with that.
Theinternetroll 5y ago
They ended up cheating on her. Shes only 22, these were all before she was 20.
Every time I see her she fucks or blows me until my dick stops working, so nothing is lacking there, but it still seems weird.
In my socioeconomic & dating circles, I've never been the guy a girl dated for his father/provider potential. It's like the exact AF/BB dynamic except this time I'm the BB... with no money.
Hoodwink 5y ago
She might be betting on your future because of your personality is good and you show a good head.
Or not. I don't know. When you move into the abstract into the real, you need to decide what is actually happening.
Hoodwink 5y ago
Feminists assume mens sexuality is focused on power and dominance of the female because their own sexuality is focused on the power and dominance of their partner and their own headspace is self-focused on their own submissiveness/allure/degradation. Feminists ideas about men's sexuality that I've often encountered is just plain wrong because it assumes that the sexuality of men and women are just complimentary opposites.
I think mens sexuality is mostly focused on sight, infatuation (short-term idealization), and the ability of the partner to reciprocate and appreciate (external submission). There is not an inner narcissistic headspace where men get off on their own dominance on their partner (or rather it isn't common). There isn't a narcissistic headspace where we have to 'dominate' to get off and consider our partner is or isn't good because we offload the responsibility to her. Almost everything is external in our sexuality. It isn't a mind game.
I think we both have a tiny bit of each other's sexuality, but you probably have to take hormones to experience it more fully. Some feminists think men are just women who get off on dominating and pure violence.
Thus, being 'straight' for a man is not the same thing at all for a 'straight' women because they are essentially two different systems. And the women's system is less focused on actual gender, but on the story of their submission and her own narcissistic allure. It's self-focused on her own allure - a 'reactive' sexuality.
The 'reactive' sexuality means that gender, looks, and other things aren't quite as important. And it allows for certain ideas to flourish like 'gender fluidity' (changing gender day to day) and thinking that 'political lesbianism' isn't a creepy/rapey way for lesbians to try trick straight women into having sex with them.
zeitgirl_ 5y ago
I hope this doesn't come across as a snarky tone; I'm genuinely interested in your comment.
I agree that feminists project dominance/power that they experience sexually onto men, however it does seem that men are also attracted to such a dynamic. How do you explain that in all cases, men extremely prefer submissive women and are absolutely repulsed by assertive (more "dominant") women? I think unconsciously, we all want to feel our own sex: men want to feel masculine, women want to feel feminine.
Hoodwink 5y ago
I think the problem 'assertive women' is that they aren't policed and grow up as men, so they have a different set of behaviors and limits than men that they cross regular so a lot of assertive women do things too early or aren't polite enough in the beginning.
You've heard about the 'pussy pass' when it comes to crime (women get shorter sentences and often can get away with crimes). There is a similar dynamic with almost all social interactions. So, you've got a lot of 'assertive' women not getting proper feedback as a man would. Or proper boundaries placed on more proper behavior governing limits and responsibilities when they're leaders/bosses.
Now, you can look at all the asshole men, and be like 'look at them' and you would be doing exactly the wrong thing that women usually do with the assholes.
It's like the difference between James Gunn and Trump - there are large difference between the two when it comes to speech that crosses the line. But it's the way and intent it's used - and the feelings underlying it. It seems a large portion portion of the population truly can't tell the difference between the two and there seems to be a gendered line with many more women willing to throw Gunn under the bus. But, even as he 'crosses the line' he never uses his speech to actively try to harm or attack or someone, he remains good-natured throughout.
Women seem to believe assertiveness as more Trump like - bull-dozing social barriers while waiving their middle-finger at them. Amd then, reflexively being and making emotional decisions that seem out of place (and fake at a distance).
My main point is that assertive women don't act like assertive men because they don't get the same social feedback and repurcussions. it
zeitgirl_ 5y ago
It's difficult to understand exactly what you mean without direct examples but I can only say: of course women "assertiveness" is going to look different to men's "assertiveness". Wouldn't you agree that the problem is with either gender believing their way is the right and only way?
There was that study that showed assertiveness coming from a man = respect and exactly the same coming from a woman = bitch. Are you open to the "bull-dozing social barriers" that you see in women being a result of inherent bias?
You argue that women don't get feedback in the same way that men do. Have you given a woman such feedback before?
Regardless, this doesn't really answer my question; it seems that men are equally attracted to the same power dynamic that women are.
Hoodwink 5y ago
I'm not sure I believe in inherent bias in the same way you do. I believe in a set of universal behavoir that's wise and good - while 'assertive' can be a tool in the toolbox, it needs several attachments and needs to be the right size. It's not gendered.
Womens' assertiveness that I have seen has never been calibrated properly to the situation or person. It's like a girl wearing some super sexy club dress to family picnic.
Giving a boss feedback on their supposed assertiveness and to tone down the girl power is not a good idea. Especially since one of the main faults of such a person is a very strong ego attachment to their behavior so that any criticism is an attack.
In general, the way I go about improving the situation is a passive-aggressive complaint about the behavior of a different person in front of them or within an ear shot. It's the best way for people with uncontrolled egos.
JohnIan101 5y ago
'The Rational Male; read by Rachel Maddow'.
LowCreddit 5y ago
Women desperately want intimacy. It is paramount to their safety. They just don't see sex as intimacy. Women don't value sex. It is just a tool they use to try to extract intimacy from a man. They do this at an instinctual level. This is why they give less sex over time. The amount of sex she will give is always inversely proportional to the amount of free intimacy she receives. Never give a woman intimacy without making her pay sex for it.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Sadly, there is a lot of truth to this statement.
I mean, there is a lot of truth to many of the statements here. But that women in long term relationships see sex as almost purely transactional, on an instinctual level, is the absolute truth. A lot of them may or may not even realize they do this...but they do.
[deleted] 5y ago
While I agree with most of your post, specifically the last paragraph, I sense a lot of anger phase here.
Abundance always, that's the law of the land, but actual abundance trumps imitation abundance any day of the week. Follow TRP and you won't even need to think about things like this, it will ooze out of you like the Chlamydia you caught at 25.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
This is fair.
I came to TRP late. And already in an LTR. And while that LTR has regained some of its past luster thanks to TRP principles, there's a way to go, yet...or possibly not, as I am no longer certain this has a future.
Right now, I'm working on me. I'm finishing up a degree, and having been cleared by my doctor following a shoulder sprain, back to working out.
Self improvement is the focus for now. Once the degree is completed I will evaluate further. But while that's in progress it has to be the focus, as my career depends on it to a large extent.
But i do agree. Especially for younger men. Get fit. Get smart. Focus on You. Make women purely a byproduct of your life. I did this as a younger man, had a blast...and now wish I'd just stuck with that lifestyle, instead of buying into the myth that "mature" grown ups settle into "real, meaningful" relationships.
Dont fall for it.
xenigala 5y ago
You sound really unhappy in this relationship. Just get out now.
EqualResponsibility 5y ago
This seems pretty easy to fix.. stop allowing the desire for sex to control you. It removes all power from her.
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NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
All women arent as different as the like yo claim. Neither are men, for that.
Trends, tendencies, common desires and methods...they exist.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
Yes, this feeling that you are attractive and can have options is called “dread.” Your woman should always feel a certain amount of dread. She won’t admit it, but knowing you have other options gets her panties wet. We develop passive dread by dressing better, building frame, lifting, gaming... etc.
After 10 years of marriage, my wife is aleays DTF because I have implemented TRP principles
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Rhynovirus 5y ago
Shit like this is killing the sub.
Not the fact it was posted but the fact it got 170 votes.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Why is this so bad? We are discussing RP theory and observation.
DrankOfSmell 5y ago
The late, great Patrice O’Neal used to say “never give up your boat for a fish you’ve caught”
rabblerouser81 5y ago
Mentally ill? Small d*ck? Soulless? Spiritually depraved? Abysmally insecure? Victim looking for a victimizer? All of the above? I am sad 4 u.
omega_dawg93 5y ago
ok fellas... let's not forget that women also use sex to attain attention.
in my younger days, i chased sluts... only wanted bad girls because i didn't have the time, energy, or desire to be in a relationship.
most of those girls overtly told me that they liked fucking around because it gave them both attention and made them 'popular' or desired.
women don't care if it's a bj, vaginal, or anal sex. some times, they just want the ATTENTION that comes along with having sex.
PlatosMisanthrope 5y ago
This is a full standard farther than I'd go with my analysis: who cares why women do what they do? I'm focused on making cash and being happy. I've never needed some asshole playing games or otherwise rocking the boat.
Pastelitomaracucho 5y ago
I have to go with nah.
For many women, sex is about intimacy, for others, is more about validation, for others, mindless fun, for others, power.
Now, if you are a thirsty beta that is willing to humiliate himself for sex, then manipulating women will use it as a bargaining chip. You can flip genders and this situation still holds.
So the lesson, rather than reducing sex to a power struggle while putting all women into one sack in this particular case, is to 1) never lose your frame for sex, there's enough out there and both you and your woman must know this 2) learn to early identify manipulative women and just eject if you find one 3) try not to use sex as a bargaining chip and become the manipulating cunt you don't want women to be.
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csfraziel 5y ago
Right? This is such a neck-beard post.
Jbonn 5y ago
This is not about being un-intimate, it's about being a man that is still desirable by other women. Staying in shape, maintaining interest in things you're passionate about, avoiding stagnation in life due to comfortability, essentially living your life without giving it all to one person and maintaining your ability to move away from someone without feeling like you're leaving everything you live for behind.
Honestly it works best for both parties involved, because both sides are getting something desirable. Being wanted by a woman is an amazing feeling for a man. Having a man that is desirable is an amazing feeling for a woman.
spistruth 5y ago
you can use the word comfort. very nice comment by the way.
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Jbonn 5y ago
I agree, I don't think you should look at this as a power ploy. However I think describing it this way makes the overall concept easier to understand, for people who have had little, or at least, upsetting success at relationships.
TRP for me, starts out very blunt, but as you begin to understand a lot of it starts to blend and becomes less intense.
May just be my experience, but I know there is at least some truth to a lot of what you see here.
[deleted] 5y ago
I think a lot of the answers to the confusion you have are in the sidebar. OP's post assumes you are familiar with some of the concepts already, which is what I think is causing the problem for some readers.
johnjohn909090 5y ago
Hahaha Holy shit. No wonder you havent got a girlfriend
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Oh, I have one...rather unfortunately for the most part.
ToaKarn 5y ago
Have you heard of the tale of Arguing with Holes?