In a recent blogpost BlackDragon gives ten examples of typical relationship events, along with typical beta, "alpha 1.0", and "alpha 2.0" responses, illustrating a kind of alpha that in my opinion is better than what often passes for alpha around here.
BlackDragon uses the terms alpha 1.0 and alpha 2.0. Both are legitimately alpha as the term is understood in TRP, but they differ on outcome independence. In his words, from elsewhere:
Alpha Male 1.0 – The usual type of Alpha Male most people are familiar with. A man with all the characteristics of an Alpha Male 2.0, but who is not outcome independent. The Alpha 1.0 is a strong, usually successful, confident man who can get women, but who also often and quickly gets upset and offended when a woman he wants rejects him or doesn’t act in accordance with his desires.
Alpha Male 2.0 – An extremely confident, non-needy, outcome independent man who can quickly and easily get sex and love from women whenever he wants without having to promise anything to anyone. A man who does what he wants, whenever we wants, regardless of what other people want for him or tell him.
On to his first example:
1. Girl sends a text saying she has to cancel their date for tonight because it’s payroll this week, she has to stay late after work, then one of her friends needs help moving.
Beta: Oh, um, okay. No really, it’s okay. Um…maybe we could hang out next week? If it’s not too much trouble?
Alpha 1.0: What the hell? Your friend needs help moving?!? You and I had a date scheduled for this evening. Unacceptable. You need to respect other peoples’ schedules. When someone makes a scheduled appointment with someone, she needs to keep it. It shows respect and maturity. No man is going to want a woman who can’t handle her own schedule like a grown-up.
Alpha 2.0: Okay. I’ll fuck someone else tonight. Bye!
The beta response is predictable, caving in to what is probably a lie or at least not the whole truth.
But note the difference between the two alpha responses. Alpha 1.0 is outcome-dependent; alpha 2.0 simply doesn't GAF. While alpha 1.0 is putting his foot down and articulating his expectations of her behavior, he is letting his indignance get the better of him, disrupting his tranquility of mind. Alpha 2.0 is stoic, and while alpha 1.0's response is not wrong, it goes a little overboard on the posturing.
Additionally it is verbose. I have noticed, both in everyday life and in my professional capacity as a schoolteacher and private tutor, that the more words you use, the more people tune you out. Alpha 1.0 does have a point, but he spreads it out over a small paragraph; alpha 2.0 spits out barely a tweet, and more importantly, relies on action to get the message across. Coupled with the fact that women use language not to convey facts but emotions, no attention will be paid to alpha 1.0's chastisement. If anything, she will tell her girlfriend that alpha 1.0 is just "being mean", strategically omitting the content.
They also differ on acceptance. Anyone who has swallowed the pill knows that women can be expected to behave in certain well-described ways; only a purple-pilled hack lets it bother him. Alpha 1.0, while he is directly confronting the undesirable behavior, fails to properly appreciate that AWALT and that airheaded logistical crashes are bound to happen. Alpha 2.0 doesn't bother correcting her behavior, possibly because he knows it's a waste of his time, but also possibly because it was expected. Either way, his actions send a message that won't be lost on her.
On to the second:
2. Girl sends a text saying that for their first date tonight, she’s now bringing along two of her girlfriends.
Beta: Sure, that sounds fun! (Oh no! NOW what do I do???)
Alpha 1.0: This is a DATE. You and me. This is not some kind of friendly outing. You need to tell your friends they need to find something else to do. You scheduled this date with me, not with your friends. This is extremely rude. You need to respect my time, and not suddenly change the plans on me like this. Now text your friends right now and tell them they’re not coming. I’ll wait. Text me when you’re done.
Alpha 2.0: Hey, that’s great! Let’s forget about tonight and meet up on Thursday instead. I don’t do friend zone so I’m going to fuck someone else tonight. Bye!
Once again alpha 1.0 gets his bloomers in a bunch over the implicit slight and ballsily orders her to solve the problem herself and report back to him. But in my opinion he comes across as a little butthurt as he spells out in detail how and why it is wrong of her to bring along a third and fourth wheel (which would outnumber him and ruin the conversation). Alpha 2.0, on the other hand, summarily cancels, because he's not going to put up a fight. Not for a woman.
Alpha 2.0, by canceling, illustrates his abundance mentality, and he brilliantly reminds her that she can quickly be replaced at a moment's notice.
Skipping to the fourth:
4. Girl issues an ultimatum. If he doesn’t stop doing X, she’ll leave him.
Beta: Jeez! Okay! I won’t do it again! I promise!
Alpha 1.0: <laughs> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You need to calm down right now. Let’s discuss this. You can just toss out shit like this. Who do you think I am? <long, drawn-out conversation about “the relationship” ensues>
Alpha 2.0: Okay! Bye! <instant soft next, fucks someone else>
There is never any reason to have a long-drawn-out conversation about "the relationship". As I said above, words don't mean anything. Again, both alpha 1.0 and 2.0 refuse to cave in to her demands, but alpha 2.0 deftly uses dread game to say, with his actions, what 1.0 probably tried to say in that pointless back-and-forth.
There are ten examples in all. Without looking at the blog, what would you guys think are the beta/1.0/2.0 responses to the rest? Remember, in BlackDragon's model, alpha 1.0 and alpha 2.0 differ only on outcome-dependence.
3. Girl says she's breaking up with him.
5. After one month of dating, girl demands monogamy/exclusivity.
6. Girl comes home late.
7. Girl posts fun pics with friends on Facebook while vacationing in Hawaii.
8. When both at a party, girl starts flirting with another guy.
9. After dating for one month, girl announces that they’re both going to meet her parents.
10. Girl is pissed off at him and calls him a fucking asshole.
From http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2016/01/11/how-the-three-different-types-of-men-react-to-women/
[deleted] 9y ago
I am new to this sub, so if someone could help put I would appreciate it, but what does it mean to "Soft next" a woman ? Could someone provide an example ?
Does it mean to let her down gently/softly so that she doesnt resent/hate you, and so that you can still bang her in the future ?
kempff 9y ago
The concept of Soft Next is adequately described in r\asktrp and on BlackDragon's blog.
/asktrp/comments/2r6rrn/difference_between_hard_and_soft_next/
http://www.blackdragonblog.com/glossary/
I encourage you to ask questions of this type on r\asktrp
[deleted] 9y ago
Thanks for the advice, will do it
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kempff 9y ago
Yes, I see that now you mention it, but I can also see them putting the hamster in overdrive.
[deleted] 9y ago
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CS192837465 9y ago
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.2053
[deleted] 9y ago
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CS192837465 9y ago
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.9148
Metalgear222 9y ago
even then. abundance mentality would mean the relationship is effectively over right there. Now take steps to replace for the night. I'd do it right fuckin in front of her
[deleted] 9y ago
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NightwingTRP 9y ago
When I came across the piece on Alpha 1.0 and 2.0, that was the point at which I stopped reading Black Dragon. There's some useful stuff on his blog, but that piece was just total masturbatory drivel. That and he pushes his book too hard.
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NightwingTRP 9y ago
Agreed. In my opinion this applies to all social interaction, not just with women and not just in text messages like this post talks about. Earlier today I wrote something similar.
NeoreactionSafe 9y ago
Alpha 1.0 almost sounds like a beta with some passive aggressive tendencies.
Full beta will collapse and be needy, but it's really not right to place the passive aggressive behavior into anything with an Alpha label.
Alpha does NOT mean aggressive or passive aggressive.
Alpha means having a solid Frame which gives him separation from the knee jerk reactivity to events and also a love of Game that gets him outside his ego and into other peoples heads.
Amused Mastery is truly the Alpha endgame whether we need a 2.0 label or not.
Alpha = Amused Mastery
We get too many of these "reinvent the Alpha wheel" posts sometimes... there was another today too.
kempff 9y ago
BlackDragon is just suggesting one model or framework within which to analyze alphahood and I'm presenting his opinions to the community. I like his model because it is simple and because it makes an important point about alphahood being compatible with a certain kind of outcome-dependence.
I agree that aggression is not of the essence of alphahood, but I'm sure you would agree that aggression in its proper place is an integral part of it - but that is for its own separate post.
NeoreactionSafe 9y ago
There are times when aggression is required.
The post about guns was an example. If someone threatens you with harm you have every right and a moral obligation to remove that threat with whatever violence is necessary.
If you are defending yourself fight like you mean it.
...but if you aren't in a situation of dire threat you should learn Game so that you can achieve your goals more efficiently.
Be "Authoritative" not "Authoritarian":
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles
veritasetviro 9y ago
Key point a lot of people missed, he's not using quotes. This is not what an Alpha2/Alpha/Beta would say verbatim, it's what the character is thinking.
kempff 9y ago
Yes, what the character is thinking.
[deleted] 9y ago
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kempff 9y ago
"Your bed only sleeps two, and with your ass, that's pushing it."
Momo_dollar 9y ago
Alpha 1.0 comes across as whiney and a lil bitch. Alpha 2.0 depends on context and the girl but too direct with the I can fuck someone else.. dread shouldn't be said or obvious. So instead of "I'll fuck someone else" " I'll hit a bar with some friends ( or a friend to make her really wonder)"
kempff 9y ago
Yes that was part of my point. BlackDragon constructed these examples to illustrate a point as far as I can tell.
Occasionally here on r\trp being a straight up asshole or being a controlling douche is confused with alpha behavior. We however know that that is just another form of beta.
Of course, even better is not to disclose your Plan B.
Momo_dollar 9y ago
Good point. If the guy really wants to make a point I get a feeling that just posting pic of his night on a social media that the girl will see will be even more effective then directly telling her. Can't explain it, but its the disparity between she told you directly and you didn't tell her she found out later on cos you put a pic/video on a medium that everyone on your contacts list can see.
Really its pathetic that something so lame would work but that's the weakness of women.
JimProphetMGTOW 9y ago
"Okay. I’ll fuck someone else tonight. Bye!"
You guys are taking this way out of context. You don't want to say this verbatim or even verbally of course. That's just the mindstate you want to have when she hits you with that BS.
A proper response would be
Girl- I can't make our date tonight. My friend needs help with her taxes and blah blah blah....
Alpha 2.0- Ok cool.
And then you go searching for someone else. Minimal energy wasted, maximum results.
kempff 9y ago
Thanks for clarifying. You're right - as is /u/CS192837465 - and that's a good point.
CS192837465 9y ago
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.3810
kempff 9y ago
Or say, "She's my cousin from Bosnia", and smirk filthily.
We are on the same page about heightening one's SMV. Social proof takes on many forms.
CS192837465 9y ago
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.0356
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WhySoRuff 9y ago
In my experience girls who are un sure of your alpha Ness will send out this text to see if you put up a fight. I've said sure on 2 separate occasions and the girl showed up alone with some bs about her friend couldn't make it. Just another shit test. The point is to tighten up your game so you don't encounter this
kempff 9y ago
We are assuming bangable girls within a reasonable radius, not Bulgarian chicks in New Zealand.
No, showing up with "girlfriends" is a shittest that should be stood-up-to right away. IMO end the interaction right then and there. Sure, one can think it humorous to imagine that one would bed all eleven of them together, but no, that is not the agenda of a girl who invites her girlfriends on a date. I side with BlackDragon, jettison her.
WhySoRuff 9y ago
You've obviously never met any hot bulgarian chicks
kempff 9y ago
I live in a cardboard produce box on a subway grate in downtown Chicago.
Physio_Tool 9y ago
Saying your gonna go fuck someone else just because you didnt get your way is extremely childish and reactive. If a chick cancels on your fuck date then you just respond with "kk girl" and let her reschedule.
Yea I agree with you though, you could bring some of your friends or just politely respond "hey Not feeling the group thing, maybe some other time girl"
kempff 9y ago
It reminds her of the ultimate reason why he is having anything to do with her in the first place.
Physio_Tool 9y ago
Also was just thinking, if you cancelled on a date with a girl. How would you feel if she said "Ok i'm just gonna go on a date with another guy." You'd prolly seem like she put a lot of weight on that date and that she is a bitch. We gotta be able to think like this about these things
kempff 9y ago
I would guess she is lying.
Physio_Tool 9y ago
But it too overt. Women do not communicate well on this overt spectrum. She knows exactly her place with you because your not calling her up twice a week to talk about everything in her life.
[deleted] 9y ago
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Physio_Tool 9y ago
I agree with you and perhaps I should have phrased what I meant better. If you can get across what you are trying to say subtly (or covert) it is preferred to overt as it will have greater impact on the hamster which feeds off subtlety, But if covert will not yield the optimal result desired then covert can work as well. I know specifically cases where Ive used overt to recover things which would not have worked with covert communication
[deleted] 9y ago
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[deleted] 9y ago
Such stupid examples. Alpha 2.0 is so butthurt he has to tell her he is fucking someone else?
Nope.
Alpha 2 shows up with anther girl, has fun, and goes home with all three of them. Because shenanigans.
Axel_Black 9y ago
All of the responses from the men are bad, and those examples are terrible. Alpha 1.0 and 2.0 would only work if you were extremely attractive. At that point it would be hard to fuck up regardless.
kempff 9y ago
Then the solution is to be attractive, and to not be unattractive.
Axel_Black 9y ago
That is correct, senior contributor.
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WhySoRuff 9y ago
These examples of alpha 1.0 and 2.0 are ridiculous. Well Im an alpha 3.0 and when girls flake with a text I send a picture of me getting head by a dime as I hold that days newspaper up for proof. Fuck outta here.