Background
Decided to get back on the dating apps since the girls I had been seeing were not leading to anything long term or plate worthy. I reactivated my Tinder, and Noticed that I was still matched with a 38 year old from three months ago. I'm 28 so all I was looking in this from her was a simple FWB. Messaged her and after a few brief messages she decides to give her number to me. We exchange further texts and I ask her to meet for drinks on Friday night.
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Date Night
Meet her at the bar, and we start with simple small talk, how are day went, etc. I get some IOI's as she quickly touches my arm in agreement with somethings I said. We move on to talking about movies we like, and she's fairly agreeable. A few more drinks in, she babbles on about how her nails are chipping, asks me to look at them. I tell her they look terrible and she needs to do something about her nails while running my hands all over hers. Conversation moves to weed and how she has some and if i'd like to smoke.
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Before we make moves to leave the bar, there's an older guy, probably in his forties, no ring on, comes up next to her to order a drink. He's got some leftovers from the Chinese restaurant next door. This chick then begins to give him all the attention. Starts asking him about what he got, and then progressing to what he does for a living and taking a huge interest in it. At this point I feel like a fly on the wall and it's where I should have gotten up and left punishing her for not giving me attention. However I listened intently to the conversation, tried to interject when I could and after the guy gets his drink and leaves, I say we should head to another bar or go smoke.
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She agrees, and shit tests me by saying, "Well you're in charge where do you wanna go? what do you wanna do?". (I think to myself, damn even though she's ten years older than me, she still wants me to take control. AWALT!) Anyway, we leave the bar to smoke weed in her car. After taking a few hits, she suggests going to another bar, I interrupt and just go in for the kiss. She's totally into it and after a few more minutes, I ask her, "So, what do you want to do?". Which she replies with "Well, im not going to fuck you, so we can go to another bar and talk or i can take you to your car". I tell her, I should just go home but before I leave for my car, we make out some more and i just bolt out of the car. I had nothing to lose here in not having sex with her the first night and I was content with making out a little bit.
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I get home and text her saying I had fun and we should do this again sometime. She responds with "Fuck you for kissing me like that. I respond by texting her my address to which she responds, "fuck you and your address". I ignore her. Few minutes later I get a response saying "alright I've already mapped it, im coming over". After we have sex, I have her leave and the next morning I get a text saying she wants to hook up/hang out again and comments on how much she enjoyed the sex.
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Afterwards
Fast foward to later on the week, we meet for drinks and then dinner. As soon as I pay for dinner and we leave the restaurant, I ask if she wants to come over. Again, she shit tests me by saying "Come over and do what?". I say, "fool around if you want". She agrees, we meet at my place again and hook up.
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At this point, I have several dates lined up for the week and much more attractive girls that want my time and I'd much rather be spending it with a chick that would lead to LTR. However we'd already agreed on going to the movie later in the week, so after the movie, I tell her directly that I want to see other people. Then instead of just accepting it and understanding that there's nothing that's going to change my mind. She says this (from what I can remember and summarize):
So you dont wanna hang out with me? You're already talking to other people? You're treating me and some of these other girls like we're disposable. I have marks on my body from you! I don't even know your last name! I was starting to really get into you... maybe it was the sex.... Also, I want you to pay me back for the food I paid for because I don't need to be paying for your shit.
Mind you that, I paid for the dinner one of the nights we went out and I paid for the movie tickets. and Now she all of a sudden wants measly 15 bucks for a sandwich I had? Ridiculous. I venmo her the money and leave.
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TL;DR
Match with woman ten years older thinking it would be just a fwb and that she wanted the same but after a few hook ups I decide to stop seeing her, and she get mad because she was getting into me. Then demands I pay her back for the sandwich she bought me at dinner.
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pohlrich 5y ago
It's disgusting when women think they're entitled to a man and his money. Get it in your narcissistic head you don't own us! you are not owed anything!
zboo1h 5y ago
I used to feel bad for these slags.
They knew the rules when they got on the CC.
The next few decades are going to be super hilarious.
bodycarpenter 5y ago
You actually paid her back?
wawakaka 5y ago
older women = mental illness
[deleted] 5y ago
She's broke and paid for your shit, what do you expect mate.
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Plus what the fuck are you doing dating older women? jesus desperation or fucking what
djsigma 5y ago
Noting desperate about it and I can date whoever I want. I still dropped her for a younger chick so I see no problem with it.
Hyper_Sonik 5y ago
Oh this guy. You already made post about your 15$.... Why are you doing it again? Man ...you have a long way to go. PS I'M FED UP with all these NEWBIES who have joined in the past 8 months and think they can post which really is their own venting session. Newbies have ruined this sub. Now wherever I go I hear Red pill rhetoric used in the wrong way. TRP used to be underground. But I guess that's the price you pay when it goes mainstream. The substance gets devoured and lost in translation.
djsigma 5y ago
The hell are you talking about it. This is my first post about this so what do you mean by "Why are you doing it again?". Also don't understand where the venting part is in the post, the entire point of a field report is to detail what happened on the date/encounter and that's what I did.
What was the RP rhetoric I miss used?
Just because I don't post frequently or actively comment in this subreddit does not make me a "newbie" to this subreddit or the concept of RP.
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mette13 5y ago
Older women dont want a FWB... they want their BetaBux they are "entitled" to.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Some know the game. I've had tons of fun with a few older divorced chicks that knew I wasn't gonna commit. They already had their betabux from the divorce. Others are delusional and think a guy in his 20s is going to commit to them.
MyReddit6 5y ago
Who knows? Maybe they'll marry the president of france...
djsigma 5y ago
agh, this is a mistake i made thinking that she was expecting me to commit when deep down both knew it was just hanging out and sex.
btrpb 5y ago
Fucking aye there's tons of single mothers out there getting their payments who will happily spread their legs for a ONS. Then they can get back to the school run knowing some beta isn't gonna blow up their phone.
A legit target as far as I'm concerned.
grumpieroldman 5y ago
Older single women will have their material life around them far more together than you do.
They don't need your bucks.
aRedLlama 5y ago
Unless she bought you a sandwich in which case all bets are off.
SithDarkFart 5y ago
Nice report. I lol'd when she said she had weed you could smoke.
blazze 5y ago
A 38 year old female career female dating a 28 year male has hit "Sex and the City" you go girl jackpot.
All those years of riding the carousel builds up quite the libido.
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> You're treating me and some of these other girls like we're disposable.
> I have marks on my body from you! I don't even know your last name!
Ahh guilt tripping ! Boo hoo.
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HumanSockPuppet 5y ago
Over all, not bad. Here's where you could have done better:
When you are seducing a woman, the responsibility for getting to sex lies with you and you alone. Never put any of the responsibility (and by extension, the blame) for the act on her, or she will happily drop the ball for you. Luckily for you, you recovered from this by DGAFing and giving her your address with the expectation that she come over and polish your nightstick.
First off, she's a plate, bro. What you do with your free time is none of her business. She hasn't earned the right to know that much about you.
Secondly, telling her you want to see other people solidifies her status in the fuck toy category. Women don't like to think you're using them as fucktoys while you're using them as fucktoys. They need to believe, even if remotely, that there's some meaning to it. If you make them feel bad about being sluts, they will lash out.
Next time, just keep chasing skirt and keep it on the down-low. If you're always busy, she'll just assume that you're getting laid elsewhere. This will produce a dread deep within her that will drive her to please you more than her imagined competition. You benefit from this extra effort, regardless of whether you intend to make her a gf or not.
djsigma 5y ago
Appreciate the response! Huge learning moment for me
TheRedRand 5y ago
You used her as a human masturbatory object and she felt hurt and used so she wanted money back for the sandwich. Jesus. She is a grown woman so she should know by now that offering sex to a man does not gain his affection or loyalty, and a woman doing that is on par with a man betabuxing a woman in hopes of getting sex, but you realize that you completely used her and then tossed her out without any regard except for what was most convenient for you. Basically, if she were an ATM, you overdrew from someone else's account and then left town.
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Women never want just FWB. If they say they do, they're lying to themselves and one glance into their histories will more than likely show extreme Daddy issues, abandonment, and oftentimes abuse. Women offer up sex in hopes that they won't be abandoned.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Hahahaha that's great... is she also offering a refund to all the guys who have bought her dinner over the years?
standardmissile 5y ago
Never explicitly tell a woman you're not in a relationship with that it's over. They fucking hate and can't deal with rejection and will hamster that you're an asshole/loser/creep piece of shit if you do. Hell hath no fury etc.
Just drop off the radar. You won't offend them, and it'll make their hamster run and they'll wonder what they have to do to get back with you. You'll always have the option and they'll be much more compliant if you exercise it.
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djsigma 5y ago
Yup, sometimes you have to learn this the hard way.
throwaway_ftb 5y ago
always go dutch. if she wont she will cause u more trouble, get out.
SuchZone 5y ago
You told her about "seeing other people", why? That's already the default, does it need to be said? If a woman asks me directly, I'll just comment on the weather and move on; she'll get it.
Blackhawk2479 5y ago
Not only that but he told a woman who’s about to - if she hasn’t already - hit the wall.
Also, the fuck are you paying her back for OP? You have some frame issues my man.
ElegantCyclist 5y ago
More people are experimenting with verbalizing non-monogamy right up front. I haven't personally tried much of this, but it's an interesting strategy, and I'd be curious to hear more from those who have.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
I tell girls that from the jump but they hear what they want to
hearhamsterWhereyoursisterwent 5y ago
I’ve just called that being real with women in the past. Women will either respect it or try and check it and It clearly lets you know where you stand
dream-hunter 5y ago
Wouldn't that make you less credible to her eyes?
djsigma 5y ago
I tried a different approach with this woman because I thought it would be better to be direct with her. Nope! Caused more headache then anything. Should have just told her over text.
SensualSeduction01 5y ago
Lol yeah u broke ab iron rule there
PsychedelicDentist 5y ago
learn to ghost
djsigma 5y ago
The issue here isn't that I don't know how to ghost, just that I didn't do this time round. Definitely learned from my blunder and movin' on.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
Why tell her at all? Aren't you supposed to wait for her to bring it up?
erthian 5y ago
There’s no need either way. There’s not some unwritten law that you are supposed to be exclusive with someone you barely know.
grewapair 5y ago
You made the mistake of thinking someone who spent her whole life or the top of the food chain, is somehow going to accept the fact that her SMV is lower.
My experience is they finally figure it out in their 90s. Until then, you're completely wasting your time. They don't expect less, they expect more.
You date only one woman over 30. Then, never again.
SpectacularFox 5y ago
Here SMV is still high. She can get young guys to fuck and pay for her nights out at a moments notice.
djsigma 5y ago
LOL, yeah this is the second over 30 girl I've dated. Both thought they were cream of the crop.
grewapair 5y ago
You pay more and get less. No thanks.
SteveLorde 5y ago
Older Women ghosted.... demand sh*t from you.....AWALT never changes
JuliusTestvola 5y ago
Dude, why in hell did you Venmo her money? You could just ghost her. You have no obligation to this woman. You seriously gave her too much. You gave her closure and $15. What a ripoff.
SpectacularFox 5y ago
She will claim rape if he doesn't.
shr3dthegnarbrah 5y ago
Simpler than that, $15 is nothing. Sending the money erases a bullshit "injustice" (shuts her mouth) and communicates that he'd rather not see her again than have $15.
JuliusTestvola 5y ago
If you're willing to stick your dick in crazy, carry a pocket recorder.
SpectacularFox 5y ago
Yep. The best advice. Try to bait them into admitting their bs too if possible.
okkyle 5y ago
From what you described in this FR, your game is suspect. You came off passive at several points. You're lucky this was a low-SMV 38 year old spinster. You likely would have gotten shut down by an HB closer to her prime.
arythmetic 5y ago
As much as I have an urge to tell you that, "you should have done this instead...," "this is not alpha, do this..." I won't do it.
I really appreciated your outcome independence in everything you did there. That's the part of inner game that no one can ever pinpoint which thing is best to do.
It paid off didn't it?
ImshortandIhateit 5y ago
Why even fuck a post-wall woman? Not worth the time imo.
morexel 5y ago
Don't make her feel used, even if you are using her. Be smarter with your exit. Women are fire now adays and she gave lots of metoo red flags. Exit gracefully. Let her hamster it.
djsigma 5y ago
Thanks! learning experience for me for sure!
morexel 5y ago
The best exits are when they think it was their choice. But that doesn't apply here. She sounded hella annoying tho. Grats on escaping.
oytrp 5y ago
Good report about how to drop a plate.
1nc3l1 5y ago
metoo incoming
ImshortandIhateit 5y ago
Ugh, it can be dodged with a fake name.
aryancel 5y ago
Hello babes my names mike hunt
DadOnDabs 5y ago
You need to work on leading bro
Evanity_Visions 5y ago
Give her childish ass 1500 pennies.
ahab_dies 5y ago
I'm 30 and sometime last year I got tired of women my age and younger than me, thinking that the problem was they're too immature. I wanted to try out older women, thinking that maybe they'd be a lot calmer and saner than the women that had driven me nuts up to that point. I figured time and experience would have mellowed them out a bit.
Nope. The women in their mid/late 30s were even more batshit insane. Whole new level of crazy. Lesson learned.
My take away was that they're having a really hard time dealing with not being in their 20s any more. Not having found a LTR/husband, having no children, and seeing their looks and tight bodies begin to fade away really, really fucks with their heads. I'm so glad I'm a dude lol
otakuzod 5y ago
There's still a saying about that. Men age like wine, women age like milk.
ahab_dies 5y ago
I dunno, I think women in their 30s are really hot. The problem is that if they're unmarried, no LTR, and childless they can tend to go a bit crazy.
SirKolbath 5y ago
You spent way too much time asking her what she wanted instead of just doing it. Take the lead. Don't ask if she wants to come over, just put her in your car and start driving. You gave her at least three times to say "I'm not fucking you" just in this field report.
You brought up other women for no reason and now she's sandyassed about some sammich.
Just next her.
Dawnguards 5y ago
Quickest way to regret sex. Are you blind or dumb? Do you understand the consequences of regret sex? She can publicly shame you or worse..
SirKolbath 5y ago
There always has to be at least one person whose comment indicates they made no effort whatsoever to read or understand the sidebar materials.
Dawnguards 5y ago
Continue to assume. Ignore that woman can regret sex with you, dont come back when you get in trouble.
SirKolbath 5y ago
How about if you go back to MGTOW and don’t come back at all?
Let’s be reasonable here. You’re an incel from the MGTOW subreddit who has been here for less than two days. I’ve been a contributing member of this subreddit for five years and a regular reader for around six. I know what I’m talking about and what I’m saying and you... are prescribing ice baths and cold showers to people.
From the perspective shown in your post history, you can’t get laid and live in fear of it and the possible repercussions. That’s sad, dude. There are ways to protect yourself against a woman’s lashback. OP already has a series of texts from this woman showing both consent and decaying mental stability. Anything she tries legally will get her ass handed to her in court. Anything she tries socially is immaterial because she’s not in his social circle and is instead someone he picked up off the street.
There always has to be one guy who is new here that has to argue whenever he sees a comment has gathered a certain number of upvotes. It’s like he thinks he has to balance the positive karma or something, so he wades in, usually with an argument as nebulous as yours, and makes an ass of himself. Can you take ten minutes and maybe stop being that guy?
Dawnguards 5y ago
Holy shit you done some homework. How excatly am I an incel and my cold showers connected to red pill? Its not - stop lying that it does.
Nice bragging, since you cant even argue like a man you throw dirt at people.
Your knowledge that "she will get her ass handed in court" is a joke. Sure, you have 50% chance of defending yourself. You act like you are invulnerable, why you so certain?
p.s. I am not in redpill forums for a day or two. But You know better.
SirKolbath 5y ago
You know your post history is visible, right? The fact that you post in MGTOW all the time? The fact that you recommend ice baths?
It’s one thing to be full of shit. I get it. You don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s another thing to tell a lie so blatant that it could be found out with three mouse clicks.
I’m done with you, son. Maybe someday you’ll read the sidebar. Or not. I don’t actually care. Later, tater.
Dawnguards 5y ago
You said everything to me what applies to you hypocrite. Blatant lies. Check. Full of yourself - check. Unable to prove your point - check.
Snowaey 5y ago
You're an idiot, stick to mgtow
Dawnguards 5y ago
You know you are toxic. I guess there is a reason why this reddit it quarantened. Too many trolls and liars that just attack people.
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memphisjohn 5y ago
I think I know this chick... bullet dodged
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tempolaca 5y ago
I'm 40.
I cannot fathom dating a >30 women. They are often nicer than 20 yo, cultured, mature and funny. They make great friends. If they have amazing tits (and many have even at that age) then yeah, but dating one?
AllahHatesFags 5y ago
Why give her money? If she is going to be a little bitch about the fact a guy ten years younger than her isn't going to immediately go exclusive then don't reward her for it.
ML_18 5y ago
Wait did you just paid dinner on a date with a woman???
DeadliftRx 5y ago
Don't spend money on women.
Don't ask a woman's opinion on what you want to do.
Don't end phrases with "...if you want" or similar.
10211799107 5y ago
Her comment about you treatong them like disposable people is alarming. Dont tell her you're seeing others.
Look at mentorpheus post on trp.red about letting them down easily if you have to. I prefer it that way because if they feel good about the breakout there is less chance of them feeling used and you getting a call from the cops.
IMO you didnt hold yourself strong the whole time. Questions you asked about what she wants to do etc.
djsigma 5y ago
yeah looking back I agree. I do normally ghost, but my problem was thinking that she'd want it more directly because she was older. Forgot the number one rule of AWALT.
Fortnite_FaceBlaster 5y ago
You shouldn't have Venmo'd her shit.
sadomasochrist 5y ago
Shit is hilarious. Worth it. That's a 20 year story right there. It's got legs. Live a little.
[deleted] 5y ago
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TheProphetPhysiquiel 5y ago
$15 is well worth a clean break. Getting into a battle of wills over something small like this isn't worth your time nor energy, especially with a plate you're dropping.
[deleted] 5y ago
Yep! I had a woman hit me up for money for a pizza she drunkenly ordered the night before when she came over. I did it and nexted her. Not worth arguing over $10
Fortnite_FaceBlaster 5y ago
I would just say goodbye and block her number.
Victor-James 5y ago
Def agree. 15.00 is a small price to pay to ensure a clean break. In this era of Metoo, you can never fully trust a girl (who knows where you live) and you want to do as much as you can to limit hostility and resentment.
ADLINKS 5y ago
Yeah especially when she mentioned she had “marks” on her body. Can’t fuck around with crazy.
LateralThinker13 5y ago
Yep. That's a not-subtle threat and $15 is a small price to pay.
Save those texts to show consensuality in future. She sounds crazy.
AriesAsF 5y ago
You handled it nicely. Very classy for being the bigger person and giving her back her $15. I bet that made her feel incredibly small. Well done.
ITS_A_MINDSET 5y ago
Weak frame all around
grumpieroldman 5y ago
You guys do know that the subset of women you deal with 99.9999% of the are the sex-addicts right? That's why they hate themselves for what they're doing and hate you for enabling them yet still jump on your dick like it's the last chopper out of 'Nam. That's why AWALT.
If you want to be single and get laid often this is definitely the thing to do.
trele_morele 5y ago
I fucking lost it at "the last chopper out of 'Nam" ????
Tousen71 5y ago
Interesting story. I would’ve kept her as a plate though if she was a HB7 or above. Getting some pussy from a milf every other week isn’t a bad deal and it seems like all she wanted to do was fuck. Just stop taking her out on dates.
Especially if you’re still single.
[deleted] 5y ago
That's the alpha-sperg for you. Of course she goes haywire after dumping her in the most blatant way, what did you expect? If you don't want to see her, just ghost her.
djsigma 5y ago
yeah, I learned from it for sure.
redvelvet_oreo 5y ago
Can’t quote on mobile but why did you give her so many chances to lead you? Why even ask her where she wants to go? You should be telling her where you guys are going be the leader.
I can bet you she was just some horny ass chick because I can pet money if it was another post wall bitch she would have been trying to lead you around and then get turned off by the fact that you let that happen. I noticed a lot of post wall women always trying to be the man these days and are miserable for it.
djsigma 5y ago
She didn't lead, I suggested leaving for another bar or to smoke, but she just shit tested by saying "take charge what do you wanna do?" At that point i just wanted to leave so she wasn't flirting with any other guys. You're spot on about her being just another post wall horny ass chick.
meateatercat 5y ago
She should've thought about settling down 15 years ago LMAO
ShavedApel 5y ago
You don't have to tell her you want to see other people.
Dark_T100 5y ago
You endanger others by choosing to get stoned and driving home. Not very wise. You can't wait till you get home to do that?
You can probably tell your frame needs work. You did a good job with the shit tests.
cbakez 5y ago
You actually went on a date with an older woman? Lol bro if they aren’t interested in having you over for the first time you meet, I avoid at all costs. You take a bigger hit wasting your time playing games with them at the bar or restaurant as opposed to just meeting up with them at their place. If they ain’t going to let you come over via text it ain’t worth it IMO
Ananonguy88 5y ago
Her rant was exactly the same like hearing angry beta male orbiter neglected by his oneitis he paid for. Especially the "we are disposable" and "give my money back I paid for sex and commitment" part. I love it when they fall into male position in SMP and feel it from the other side, gets a taste of their own medicine.
I'll add to the story how the hot girl I had oneitis for that used to flake me after some time of FWB took me on a date, bought me a dinner and a drink the moment I stoped giving her attention. At the end of the date she basically started physically molesting me and trying to bring me into her flat every way possible, but I just said bye and went home like nothing happened. Felt so much better than fucking her. Oneitis got cured instantly.
Lkeacentipede 5y ago
Experimenting with different approaches is awesome.Congrats for not getting into drama and just leaving brother
mchief101 5y ago
When u guys go ghost, do u still post on social media even if she can still see ur stuff?
friendlynaboureeno 5y ago
She sounds annoying and desperate, just dump her ass
Revorob 5y ago
When the women a man is surrounded by aren't even plate-worthy, that is a sure sign the world is f##ked.
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vicious_armbar 5y ago
Older women are delusional. They think they still have the same value that they had in their 20’s. But since they’re looking for a ltr they’re prudes on top of being entitled.
I refuse to date women over 29 and I’m almost 40. When I get to old to pull women in their 20’s I’m just going to pay for it. It’s just not worth dealing with their bullshit,
BobbyPeru 5y ago
Not sure why you brought that up - I’m curious as to what you had to gain .
Huge red flag. Why would she bring that up? She could have just said you had sex. I’d next unless you want a metoo situation after you dump her. Phase her out ... make her think it’s her idea
drkinferno72 5y ago
Her ovaries are shriveling up she needs to lock down a man and now
Good thing you didn't fall for it
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Dawnguards 5y ago
tl;dr women get mad when they get ditched. Simps and men dont get mad. Are afraid to even tell they dont like their decisions.. Woman is smarter than man. At least she is vocal about it.