Summary: 99% of the advice you get about women (outside of TRP) will be confusing, not actionable, and difficult to get consistent results from. Even TRP advice can feel vague and cryptic sometimes. If you're experiencing advice-fatigue then try going out and finding Alpha male role models instead. Observing and emulating can be way more effective than trying to act out abstract advice you got from a friend, or the internet.
Consider these three short stories. You've probably experienced some variant of each at some point in your life:
[Story 1, Accidental Social Proof] You're at a wedding talking to an older dude. He's in his 50's. He's thin but well dressed. The subject of dating comes up. You bring up a few things that you're doing to help improve your dating life. He waves his hands and goes "No, no, no, no. You don't need to do any of that. Don't waste your time. Just be yourself and be confident." He tells you about how he slept with dozens of women in his youth when he was a semi-successful musician. It sounds like you should take his advice, but it's unclear how you would even go about doing that.
[Story 2, Accidental Relationships] You're at a bar with friends, both men and women. There's a group of muscular sports bros hanging out next to you. One of the sports bros walks over and interacts with your group. A girl later comments on how attractive he was. Everyone else says "Oh, no. Guys like that are the worst. They're too vain and into their bodies. He seemed like a jerk too, no thanks." These sentiments are repeated by the men in your group. Everyone you're with accidentally stumbled a relationship and has a self-reportedly happy sex life. Their advice seems OK. You're single though, lonely and horny. Finding relationships seems to have worked for your friends, but you're not sure how to go about finding one for yourself. Later that night you see the sports bro making out with a random girl. The women in your group seem displeased. "He's probably not even going to call her back in the morning, gross."
[Story 3, Accidental Nice Guy Success] You're in a car talking to you father about dating. He tells you that the best way to get a girl is to be her friend first, and to be nice. You take this advice seriously because it apparently worked for him. "Just be nice" did get you that one LTR when you were younger. You tell your dad "I have some friends who are more like bad boy types though, and they do great with women." He responds "Yeah, I never understood why that worked. You don't want to do that though, you want to be a better man." Being nice does seem to work on approximately 1 girl every 12 months or so, but the low hit rate is very frustrating.
There's a pattern here. Pretty much nobody will ever give you clear actionable advice that you can use to improve your love life, which consistently works when you try it. If you share your own strategies you'll get shut down a good amount of the time. The strategies that people tolerate talking about are the ones that you know don't really work. Most men have stumbled into relationships or casual sex at some point in their lives, one way or another. Everyone tries to reason out what exactly got them their accidental success, after the fact. Then they assume that whatever worked for them must be The One True Strategy (TM).
Don't take advice about girls seriously. Don't take criticisms of your own strategies seriously. Trying to strategize about dating with the average man is as useful as trying to strategize about how to beat a rigged carnival game. Everyone is going to come up with some random shitty strategy, and nobody's strategy is going to work consistently. The game is rigged to begin with. Someone will accidentally win a huge teddy bear and you'll call it a day.
Even TRP advice can seem vague and cryptic sometimes.
If you need guidance then go out and find role models. Expand your social circle. Keep expanding it until you meet the kind of dudes who really know how to get laid. You'll see them pull girls home from the bar. Sometimes they'll show up at the bar saying they just pumped and dumped some chick and wanted to do something else for the rest of the night. When dating comes up they'll talk about how they have 3 Tinder dates lined up for the weekend. When you see them texting they'll say "Yeah, it's just some girl I'm banging." They'll tell you about the time they slept with a new girl every night for seven days in a row, or about the time they had three girls in a single weekend. They've had STDs. When you ask them for their N count they say it's 100+, and it seems believable. They're still racking up lays actively. They're not has-beens. When you ask them if they'd settle down into a relationship they just grin and don't say much beyond "lol." Sometimes their stories seem self-aggrandizing and possibly fake, but that's also kind of the point; the amount of the female attention you see them getting gives them legitimacy despite their self-aggrandizing. They're physical presentence is notable, both men and women light up when they enter a the room.
These guys won't get into contentious debates about dating. They don't have a One True Strategy (TM) to convince you of. They'd rather "help" by being sexually successful and acting as role models, either consciously or unconsciously.
It can help to know a good role model and emulate his behaviors. I won't make a list of the behavior's here. The point of this post isn't to convince you about my own One True Strategy (TM), or about my own pet definition of Alpha. It can be useful to debate about the nature of Alpha or the nature of game, but it's impossible to know what Alpha men are like unless you are one, or are friends with one.
Pedantry aside, your typical Alpha dude will be having crazy animalistic monkey sex with hot women who have genuine enthusiastic interest in them. That's what TRP sexual strategy is about at the end of the day. If you're not already there then go find guys who are, and do as they do. Alpha is as Alpha does. Always remember that no matter how confident and self assured a man is, he's not the role model you're looking for unless he's actively having sex with a large number of attractive women.
pohlrich 5y ago
Just wait long enough and the universe will deliver to you a hot babe.
edargham 5y ago
Father would pretty much tell me it's not the time to chase girls, and I should invest my time in studying, lifting and doing my hobbies, to forget about girls till I hit 24/25 years old..
Quaternionz 5y ago
That’s solid advice from a father. Good dad.
edargham 5y ago
No doubt, taking the red pill helped me understand why. However, I have a hard time sticking to his advice, since I'm still a kissless virgin that recently turned 20, and everyone I know around me is in a relationship of some sorts and I feel like I'm missing out...
Quaternionz 5y ago
Like your dad said, don’t worry about it. I was a virgin until 21 because I was pouring myself into studying and not having any social life. Now at 30 I have a six figure income because of the work I put in earlier in life, and I’m doing great with dating as a result. You have to do the learning young while you still have the freedom to.
trp1784 5y ago
This is the truth, I've heard variations of all those scenarios. If you're at least average looking you will luck your way into a relationship or casual sex at some point. There might be 1 out of 1000 women out there that are crazy about you for whatever reason and you would have to really try to fuck it up. Out of that thousand there are probably a couple hundred you could fuck if you actually put yourself out there and had some decent game. I'd say the vast majority of guys that aren't single just luck their way into a relationship and settle, it's tough to find an actual alpha role model.
Philosophipster 5y ago
When I was in my early 20s, I once saw Eddie Murphy's show 'Raw' on TV. I always found it funny, mostly because of the way he portraits and exaggerates characters. My mother (who lived off my dad's money since marriage and is a nagging, bitter crone on the inside, at the time) told me this was all nonsense, of course. Rewatching parts of it since finding TRP just makes my toes curl. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts4sEBb2K3s
​
Glad I took his warning to heart to some extent though ... because that shit aint funny, it's horror. Either demotivates you to earn (a lot) and aim for a career for the sake of supporting a 'family' or simply tells you of the 50 % / coinflip chance of losing half your shit (based on marriage/divorce rates in the US) and the fact that marriage is a sham. Neither of which I can muster the motivation for to endure years of hard work and discipline, while a parasite profits or nags that it's not enough.
​
TL;DR advice from both sexes and make your own decision, but make sure you are lawfully/financially not screwed :P
[deleted]
warlordchad 5y ago
This seems right.
Additionally, it just takes practice and like the rest of life there are ups and downs. And it's a learning process--keep your mission in mind and think long term, not short.
Using myself as an example, I had a raging August and Sept. Slept with five women, turned three into plates, including pulling a stripper.
This month: fuck. One plate is for sure broken. Two plates are currently crashing to the cement unless I can somehow kick save (which seems unlikely), and none of my current prospects are responding to my texts.
The key is self assessment: AWALT. So it's not about them--it's about me. I fucked up. With the plates that are dropping I was too fucking needy/didn't maintain my frame. I haven't been cold approaching enough if I'm honest, and when I have I've had too much to drink on a couple occasions.
So... what can I do different? Having a mentor would certainly help. Too bad all my friends are married cucks or betas. Good post and good point--the search ensues.
Quaternionz 5y ago
Yup, you must have fucked up somewhere.
I remember when I first started spinning plates and I had my first experience dropping a really good one. She was a 22 year old 9 with a perfect tight little body and a high IQ. The sex was amazing. When she didn't want to see me anymore other people in my life said "She doesn't deserve you," or "I guess it just wasn't meant to be."
How the hell is "She doesn't deserve you" supposed to help me correct for the future?
How do I take "I guess it just wan't meant to be" and use it to improve myself?
My one Alpha buddy was like "Sucks to be you dude, you must have fucked up somehow. Move on, keep crushing it with new girls." It was so refreshing to have someone prompting me to be self critical, and giving me advice I could actually act on instead of just wallowing in confused misery.
I did indeed fuck up with that plate.
rosbergsessa420 5y ago
And thats just life in general. How many of us wish the current agenda was "you fucked up, this is what you did wrong and this is what you have to do right" instead of "never stop believing, things will happen if they are meant to be" or "the right one will come". SERIOUSLY? I can't believe we've come from hunting mammoths without guns, to these types of feel-good speeches to feel good with ourselves blaming everybody else. Humanity needs a reminder of how good we could be.
[deleted]
WoodleyWarrior85 5y ago
Yeah. People are - by definition - emotionally invested in their love lives and dating strategies. Because of this, it's difficult for most people to take a step back and objectively analyze how the sexual marketplace functions.
I know guys who are totally serious and results focused in business, but when it comes to relationships all standards and reason fly out the window. They make poor decisions, get tied down unnecessarily, waste tons of money, become insecure, etc. Just craziness.
TRP is an exercise in applying reason to your love life. You need to first see what's really going on in your relationships, then you can choose the path that best suits you, whether that's one night stands, marriage, LTR, MGTOW, etc.
​
​
rosbergsessa420 5y ago
This is such a hard pill to swallow when I tried to give it to people.
Just because your father got into ONE relationship 30 years ago (got her pregnant and she's your mother now) by being nice it doesn't mean you have to be the nice guy. You only want to listen to people that get laid consistently so that you can achieve the same result. Don't "be confident and wait for the right one" because no "right one" will come so you lock her in and never worry about sex again, because it doesnt exist. You want to focus on having a wide availability of options.
[deleted]
Valenx_Ackerman 5y ago
It depends on the type of person you meet, he can be a role model or not. For my personal experience I met a guy who has tons of sex with a large number of (...) women and he's not a role model at all. He's so into mature that he prefers to downvote a HB10 20 yo blonde in favor of a HB5 45 yo woman because "MILF's know what they want and they don't get engaged"
​
He was constantly trying to impress us, lying about what he did with this or another chick (he always succeed and had sex with every single girl despite sometimes we found out that he was not being honest, just crossing info by a girl's friend or something), he tended to laugh at us (not in a bro-way, but in an evil/bad person-way) if we fail an approach, even trying to destroy it by filming, or "stealing" the girl by talking to her when you go to the bathroom trying to ridiculize your own persona, constant gossiping about each other bodies/outfits. If he ever got rejected he tried desperately to not let us know or avoid talking about it, but if you got rejected he ended up laughing at you saying that you're a failure. Definitely the worst person I've ever met, I don't know why I agreed to hang out or even have trips with him so many times during years, until I kicked him from my life
​
Not gonna lie, he get tons of pussy. His Tinder is unreal with 600 matches each year, he ended pulling girls on every single night we party, sometimes not really attractive women just to text us at the next day with something like "woah, I had a wonderful sex night. How about you? Did you get pussy? Or telephone numbers?". But it's a freaking cancerous person to be honest, he's so fucked up in the head that he could update an old FB picture of me and my ex from 4 years ago , knowing that she's gonna see it just "for the lulz", I had to block him.
​
But eventually you find out that people he used to talk end up "tilted" (one of his favoirte verbs) one way or another, and he's ended with almost no friends at all, tending to use people for his purposes. Yes he get tons of laid, but at the end his methods could not be useful for any other person, you've to develope your own strategies, he's not a role model at all
AutoModerator 5y ago
Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.