Summary:

I've never been to a bar or club with the intent of picking up girls before. I go out alone, have limited success, come home alone, but I'd do it again. You should, too, if you haven't yet.

Body:

A couple weeks back, I went out for the first time on my own to meet girls. For context - I'm 28, 5'8", 150 pounds at ~14% body fat. Not in great shape, but a damn sight better than a few months ago where I was a complete skinnyfat manlet.

I've never even tried to pick up a girl at a bar before. I've run some incidental game since finding TRP, got a few numbers, but screwed things up in the text game. My N-count is 1, from an LTR before I found TRP.

I drive to a bar that has good reviews on Yelp. I make my first and most crucial mistake of the night here when I park in a spot that winds up with my car towed (Mistake 0), but I won't know that until later on.

I check out the bar, but no girls catch my eye, so I walk to some other bars. The others aren't really any better, so I go back to the first one, which by this point has way more people.

Most notably, an HB8 blonde (Blonde) at the bar with her friend (Friend) who is maybe an HB5. I approach promptly, and open by talking to the friend first. I try some of the cold-reading techniques I've seen on here, and tell Blonde that I'm getting an accountant vibe from her. I'm not far off, as it turns out; she's into statistics.

I focus on Friend for a while, but tease Blonde a bit. I ask what she does for fun, and she winds up qualifying to me about some picture she drew that I say is OK.

”To be fair, I was tired and busy and I did it all in one day”

I try the ESP thing where I ask if she believes in ESP, touching her forehead for some initial kino, and I guess the number she's thinking of. She immediately deduces that if you make someone pick 1-4, 3 is the most picked. Blonde is smart, too. (Mistake 1) In retrospect, I should calibrate chick crack to education level, she had a master’s in STEM.

Suddenly, complications; a couple (BF and GF) has inserted themselves into the set, deciding they want to make friends with Blonde and Friend. Blonde is not paying attention to me but I try to keep some focus on stoicism and playing it cool, so I just listen to music and sip my drink for a while. I make nice with BF, talk about his work a bit.

I get BF to back me on pulling GF, Blonde, and Friend into a lying game - Truth or Dare with only Truth three times, and you are supposed to lie once, and everyone guesses which answer was the lie. We play it two rounds, with stakes on the second round of my seat for GF, who is in heels. The second round blows because they don’t want embarrassing questions anymore. I lie about the lying game. Nobody catches that I’m meta-lying, they all buy it.

I give up my seat after the round, explain that I meta-lied. (Mistake 2) Not sure what I was thinking here. Blue Pill, non-Machiavellian tendencies coming out here. Should not admit to lying, should give her the seat “anyway” when going to the bathroom or something - wanted to be standing for better positioning for talking to Blonde.

I try to escalate. I'm getting a vibe from Blonde that she's interested, but put off by something. I ask if Blonde thinks I’m an asshole. (Mistake 3) I shouldn't have asked this. If I'm going to try this, I should state it to gain some connection: “I seem like a real asshole, huh?” Something like what I've seen in speed seduction's "This would be really soon to kiss a guy, huh?"

Blonde says she thinks I think she’s dumber than me. This is true, because I assume that about everyone until they prove otherwise. I spend some time explaining that I don’t think she’s dumb, just not as smart as me. (Mistake 4) Obvious shit test is obvious, but I'm three drinks in at this point and not firing on all cylinders. That plus this being my first time, and I've shot myself in the foot a bit here.

I start getting shit from BF & GF about not buying Blonde a drink. I explain I’m a feminist, I don't buy girls drinks for attention. Hah. Blonde says all her exes bought her drinks. I point out she broke up with all her exes, maybe a relevant correlation for statistics girl.

I offer instead to drive them to her place instead of buying a drink Would save them more money from not having to Uber. Blonde says “I won’t ditch my friend,” “I don’t invite guys over to my place.” (Mistake 5) I didn’t read these signals well enough. These are huge green lights.

Feel myself starting to cave and lose frame, time to exit. Never done exit before, losing frame and a little too drunk, so I explain what I’m actually doing. ”You don’t like me enough, I’m out." (Mistake 6) I should have been covert, and falsifed some time pressure about having shit to do in the morning, get the number, exit, game later when alone and not being cock-blocked.

I walk back to my car, and Mistake 0 bites me in the ass. I realize my car has been towed. I go back inside, say fuck it I’ve been towed, offer her the drink. (Mistake 7) Don’t go back if you’ve blatantly NEXTed a girl, that’s stupid. (Mistake 8) If I’m coming back at all, don’t say I’ve been towed. LIE. My frame is in shambles.

Blonde refuses the drink, I say OK whatever, sit down elsewhere and order more alcohol. I'm walking home anyway, right?

I try not to pay attention to blonde but Blondes are my type, girls who can keep up with me set off my "she'd make a good mother" mentality, and it’s my first pickup.

I go to the bathroom, and some guy is talking to blonde. I ignore his presence and tell her to give me her number. (Mistake 9) AMOGing is all well and good, but she's already displayed disinterest. This Hail Mary shit isn't helping anything, I'm just showing neediness.

He’s like “lol talk to her first." I say “been talking to her all night, friend.” Blonde says that at one point in the night she would have, but not anymore. Fuck.

I walk home. Like hell I'm paying for a cab. It takes three hours.

Lessons Learned:

Mistakes were made.

  • 0 - Watch where you fucking park.

  • 1 - Calibrate your pickup tricks to what you learn about your audience.

  • 2 - Truth isn't appreciated, duh.

  • 3 - Don't ask, state.

  • 4 - Consuming alcohol does not help pickup. Know your limits.

  • 5 - Know what signals are actually green lights/IOIs that claim not to be.

  • 6 - Learn how to exit if you're in over your head... without burning your bridges.

  • 7 - Don't go back after NEXTing a girl.

  • 8 - Cool guys don't get towed. If you fuck up, don't tell a girl about it.

  • 9 - Hail Mary, non-abundance mentality plays only hurt your mentality going forward.

At the same time... Holy shit, I created interest in an HB8 in one evening. She was considering taking me back to her place. My open was solid, I just need to work on my closing and stick to one drink. If you haven't yet, get out there and try it. The worst that can happen is you go home alone, like you would have been anyway. Maybe you'll even learn a thing or two for next time, and internalize some of what you've read on here.