Hey guys. I'm 19 and discovered the RedPill around about last month. It's been an amazing journey so far and I have so much to learn/do before I can even say I've swallowed the pill.
As far as I'm aware, viewing yourself with a strong frame is all about perception right? All about how you perceive yourself. There is nothing to show that you've become more alpha unless you truly believe it yourself.
This leads me onto something I want to share. The reason we, this subreddit, discourages beta like behaviour, specifically video games is because psychologically it has an effect on us. Do you think alpha male men waste their time staring at a fucking TV screen all day? No. It leads us feeling unproductive and weak, no matter how much we enjoy it. Deep down we know it isn't improving us as men. What I have realised is that whenever I play video games, my frame starts to break. I ponder, is this who I am? Would a girl be attracted to this? When I see a girl and debate whether to cold approach her, I think about my past actions, and how they define me as a man. It is then this that gives me confidence to approach her. If I spend my day lounging around on the couch instead of improving myself, my frame weakens and I fall into beta like thinking.
Your frame can be strengthened by your actions and how you choose to live your life. It is then these actions that upholds your frame.
EDIT : I don't see why people are getting so caught up on my comment about what women think of you. My message was about being productive with your time.
tldrtldrtldr 6y ago
Thanks for bringing back the horrors of my teens-early 20s. I will save you lots of pain. Also knowing how little your attention span is, I will short the pill to less than 140 characters
“Women are not your goal, better version of yourself is”
Just improve yourself financially, physically, mentally and forget about the girls.
reallyeesah 6y ago
I understand that but perhaps I didn't get my point across clearly/well enough in my post, so apologies.
Thanks for the wisdom.
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
And then what? Girls won't just fall into your lap most of the time.
Patric_MasterBateman 6y ago
The point is that you will have access to a higher caliber of woman than you ever imagined before. They will make it known that they want to fuck you. If you have had it happen to you, you will understand
[deleted] 6y ago
“forget about the girls” is not ignoring women and becoming an incel. It’s just not being those man children who constantly obsess over women. Building out your purpose and yourself is far more rewarding and important than chasing women. I know first hand how chasing women and losing your purpose/focus can completely fuck you and I’m 19. Being 25, healthy and having a good career/business and having hobbies is where its at.
PepperPottsss 6y ago
Great response. Focusing on women rather than yourself, actually turns women off. I tell my male single friends this all the time. Stop focusing on women, focus on you and your pockets and women will come all on their own.
richpianoo 6y ago
Lol yes they will trust me they will even open you and chase acter you when you get to a certian point
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
I'm not doubting that at all. But do you think that level of attractiveness is attainable for all guys? And if so, within reach in a reasonable time period since the first comment is suggesting you forget about girls altogether.
Even if all of the above is true you still need to put yourself in situations where they can open you, no? If you work as a programmer, have male dominated hobbies and don't enjoy nightlife then you have next to no exposure to women.
tldrtldrtldr 6y ago
Considering OPs age, he should forget about the girls altogether and focus on himself. Girls are humans. And of course everyone need to learn to make human connections. Without a hidden agenda and with focus on themselves (not her), anyone will be far better off
To answer your original question. Yes, this level of attractiveness is possible for all guys
UnchangedUnmolested 6y ago
Yes they will. But you also ignored the first part, women aren’t your goal. If they do they do if they don’t they don’t. But they will.
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
So you are saying if you take zero action you will still get women if your house is in order because they just come to you.
How do women have the chance to come to you if you don't put yourself in situations where there are women available?
I don't see how having your shit together negates the need to take action in some way unless you are already surrounded by women (In which case you need no help), happen to have hobbies/participate in activities where women are in abundance or have a social circle(s) where you are continuously meeting new girls.
Feelinggood702 6y ago
When you’re ready, you’ll subconsciously take action to attract women. Your purpose and you are first. But yes obviously you have to take the first action to say hi
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
I disagree with the notion you'll magically take action when you're 'ready' (Whatever that means), but that is besides the point because it's not what he was implying.
ohNole 6y ago
You're missing the point... You will naturally be in situations with women, and a confident/well framed man will attract every woman in the room, then it's easy - just talk to whoever you want. The only way you can keep your frame 100% of the time is if you know 100% who you are and what you need. Confidence and frame are key and women do not contribute to those facets whatsoever, those things come from improving your standing "financially, physically, mentally". Women are just the guinea pigs that are lucky enough to experience these awesome aspects about you, with you.
​
tl;dr: The goal is not women. The goal is to be a better man, and women will come.
SirKolbath 6y ago
/whoosh is a great sub. You should check it out sometime since you seem to adore letting the point go over your head.
Women. Are. Not. The. Objective. Ever!
You were literally just told this and your reply was, “but then how do you get women?”
Who fucking cares!? Women are a byproduct of being successful in the rest of your life. If you’re making them the focus, you’re fucking it up.
You need about twenty more trips through the sidebar.
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
Thanks for the patronizing lecture.
It's entirely possible for you to be 'successful' and still be shit with women or to not be in ideal situations unless we are defining successful as Dan Bilzerian level of success. Someone even replied to me saying exactly that.
- u/Warped_Mindless
Women not being your focus also doesn't mean you have to basically ignore them. You can still take steps to maximize your exposure to attractive girls while focusing on yourself foremost.
According to your philosophy approaching, using Tinder, etc is all bad because it's making women a focus in your life.
SirKolbath 6y ago
Don't act like an ass and you'll be spoken to like an adult. If you're going to say stupid shit, you're going to have it thrown in your face. Welcome to the Internet.
What fucking part of "women are not the goal" is confusing you so damn much? I don't give a fuck what anyone says, you and your mission come first. You want to game chicks but you suck at it because you haven't accomplished anything yet! You’re not the fit, handsome, and successful businessman who has no game. You’re a fucking kid just starting out. His advice isn’t for you. It’s for the ass clowns at /DatingOverThirty who own Porsches and still can’t get a woman to swipe right.
Don't tell another person what their own philosophy is ever again. You haven't even figured out your own fucking philosophy, you couldn't begin to comprehend mine.
Shut the fuck up and go make yourself a success. Then and only then will anyone here give a shit what you have to say.
This horseshit focus you have on girls is childish. “You can still take steps to maximize your exposure to attractive girls while focusing on yourself foremost.”
No, you can’t, fucktard. Because that is still making women the reason for your actions!
Get off your ass, put down the Xbox controller, go outside and build something. Learn a skill. Get really, really good at something that doesn't have "achievement unlocked" attached to it. Then you can come back and tell me how wrong I am, rookie.
Warped_Mindless 6y ago
I don't think I was clear enough, I 100% agree with you. The posters on here who preach "ignore women and they will fall into your lap" annoys me.
Its like sales; you can have the most amazing product ever but your still going to need to cold call and use some sales techniques.
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
I understood that you agreed with me. I was quoting you to show someone else had the same POV as me.
DoneScannedIt 6y ago
Your new self just will put you into situations. More than that, future man will see more possibilities, all around him. Because his SMV has increased, his self-defined pool of available women will change and shift. All this stuff will come out of his becoming self-confident, which comes from fitness (mentally, spiritually and physically). This comes from the physical and metaphysical exercise/practice; lifting.
ZephyrBluu 6y ago
Sounds like a bit of "PUA woo woo magic", as Rollo put it.
I am confident in myself. Hell, a lot of my friends thought I was arrogant when they first me. I'm mentally 'fit' and physically in shape. I started lifting ~1.5mo ago and love it both physically and mentally (And spiritually ofc, Church of Iron <3).
Problem is, I'm also young as fuck (20) and in university currently so have no financial wealth and no career. Uni culture is also not very conducive with improving yourself and is built on social proof for the most part.
So please, tell me how to transform my self confidence into putting myself into good situations and increasing my SMV because I am really not seeing how self confidence is a factor at all.
Warped_Mindless 6y ago
While I agree that having a primary mission and purpose in life other than women is vital, some men on here take it to the extreme and ignore the fact that Game actually exist. I was a dating coach for several years and I had more than a handful of clients who were fit and successful who still sucked with women. Looks, Success, Game... Its the trifecta.
AutoModerator 6y ago
Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
inf0rmme 6y ago
"Is this who I am"
Being mindful of your actions and juging yourself on what you do is key to slowly making better decisions and habits that build towards self worth.
"What would a girl thing of this"
What a girl thinks of you dosent matter!!! This mind set leads to getting validation from woman rather then from with in. If your changing for a woman ratger than yourself you are living with in her frame and doing things to please her. You can be motivated, left everyday and make a tone of money, but if you are doing those things for her and not for yourseld she will never respect you.
I found the rp about 4 years ago at 19 and fell in love with the self mastery mindset. Life was real good, I was building my net worth, interdependence and traveling. Making myseld the prize and girls started coming to me. Mannaged to score this high quality girl who had all the green flags. Got along eith her dad, wasent needy, had usefull hobbies like cooking and sowing and was studying teaching/ looking good as far as mother material. She was just happy in general and pleasent ro be around.
Long story short I just realised ive been slowly slipping back into beta habbits and loosing her respect because my mindset was "what would she think" I've only just realise this and feel like a more for not noticing sooner. The reason i didnt realise it because Ive been woeking out, completely cut out drugs, TV video games and most of that time goes into my start up venture. I thought I was Redpilled af. But I was doing things/ making thease changes because its what i though she wanted me to be.
Basicly thinking "what would woman think of me" is a canceres mindset to have, even if ot dose lead to being more productive with in your life.
flapjacksrbetter 6y ago
Im 20 and I feel lost. Wrote down my goals but Im not motivated by it. I try to maintain discipline but it keeps on slipping. Ive watched hundreds of motivational videos but none seem to help. Keep on falling to rock bottom. What advice would u have for a guy like me?
DonPaettyz 6y ago
It's hard until you really find your true Definite Major Purpose for your life. Having read all the books you will know what I mean. Live some more and stay tuned into your intuition over the next years.
virusofthemind 6y ago
Eventually you will be left behind by your peers as they succeed in their careers, financially and with women. There will come a time when you try to emulate them and it most likely will be with women.
When you try you will encounter harsh rejections from the women you approach as they will see you as beneath them and your current peers will desert you as you will be considered a "loser".
When this time comes and you're at rock bottom that's when you will change and become motivated.
Thizzlebot 6y ago
Sounds like your frame is weak if you let video games control you. Video games are a fine hobby in moderation.
Karastilov 6y ago
nahh its lame shit waste of time
doctorlw 6y ago
You can be alpha and play video games. But in general alphas will not, because typically an alpha is looking to improve his human capital at all times. But don't fall too far down the rabbit hole, enjoying one's self is part of being an "alpha" too. As you get older, you realize that ultimately this all comes down to experience and being a perpetual learner. Red Pill is about learning women. Red Pill works because it teaches you the basics and gives you the tools to expose yourself to as many women as possible from which you will learn. It is, essentially, the scientific method of women traditionally passed from father to son now shared freely on the internet.
Even now, after literally practicing RP philosophy for nearly 20 years I still have moments where my frame will break down. But that is not a bad thing. When you break frame you need to look at yourself introspectively. What caused it? What do you really want? Were you being true to what you want? These moments are critical to your growth as a man.
You are very fortunate to find this way of life at 19. Some men go through their entire life without such wisdom.
reallyeesah 6y ago
Exactly, which is why I value every piece of advice given. Much appreciated.
Feelinggood702 6y ago
Being 24 it’s crazy how you realize the integration of ideas such as having a strong reality or frame into your life. I mean you’ve had it since you were born, it’s just a matter of realizing it. I’m going through a ton of emotional challenges and ego destruction right now. With the understanding that regardless of what is going on it is still my reality helps as one of the tools in my arsenal. Ultimately it’s a matter of being your frame, not holding your frame.
Furthermore, as you understand yourself, you realize that you can do whatever the fuck you want. You stop viewing this or that behavior or way of thinking as alpha or beta, and view what you see simply as it is. For example, I chilled at home all day today watching Netflix and YouTube videos. Felt like shit after, but I still went to the gym; felt better afterwards, then went to my parents, and about to go to a friends Halloween party. You realize everything as just one thing and nothing more. It’s freeing.
maverick9759 6y ago
TL;DR : You are not talking about frame but mindset and you are not making yourself your mental point of origin. Do interesting shit you'd like to do and you'll have competence (with this competence comes true confidence) to handle life's daily problems and women would like to enter that frame because they won't have to figure out anything, they'll have you like a guardian/parent who will know what to do all the time.
The problem with this mindset is that you are making women your mental point of origin. ( What would they think of me if I do this ? )
Read Rollo's post on mental point of origin, put yourself first, do what you think is good for you and will aid you personally. Be it lifting, making money or taking some time off to play video games coz why not ? They are fun and unless you literally live just to play video games and that's the centre of your life there's nothing wrong with it.
However none of this actually has anything to do with frame. A person has as a way to communicate, a habit to use certain words, make certain gestures etc etc. When two people meet one of them conforms and starts acting like the other.
Look at this example. If someone comes to you all excited to you and says this in a very fast and loud voice " Do you know what happened !!!!? " If you respond in the same way like " Tell me !!!??? " You enter his/her frame. If you talk slow/non excited and as the person is telling you the story starts conforming to your way of communication he/she enters your frame.
Now imagine if the person in the above scenario if the person was a little kid. What would say ? " Yea ? What happened kiddo ? " ( The voice projecting a pretence of curiosity but in sorta sarcastic way because you know it's a kid it would probably be something stupid or tiny unimportant shit ) .. you would naturally start using amused mastery ( another of Rollo's must read )
That's the frame you need with women. " I am 1000 years old have seen so much weird shit in my life that nothing she does or tells me is gonna surprise at all, I am immovable. " Now that's too extreme and hard to maintain but you put yourself out there, travel a lot, meet with a lot of people and do a lot of interesting things your life ( again.. not for the fuckin women .. make yourself your mental point of origin first... Do what you genuinely wanna do ) .. then amused mastery will come naturally to you because you really would have seen much more things in your life and women would like to enter your frame because you are competent enough to handle problems .. you have been through it a million times already and know how to handle things.
Example: you are traveling with her and the car breaks down ? You got it handled, has happened a million times, you know how to fix it.
You and the woman go to a restaurant and she can't figure what she'd like to eat. Well you have tasted almost all the stuff and you tell her what tastes like what giving a reference and give her suggestion. You got it handled.
Having mastery over your environment gives you confidence to maintain your frame, the woman sees this and wants to enter it because she is looking for an authority figure in her life. This is why older men are attractive to women. They have genuine authentic amused mastery if they spent their youth properly.
wholewheatdirtydog 6y ago
I'm turning 19 soon and I found this subreddit last year. Personally I think if you like to game just do it. However I only game after I've done my uni work and when I've returned from the gym and done whatever my mother needs me to do around the house. Also girls aren't everything (feels weird typing that out but it's true)
voyager14 6y ago
Alpha men do whatever the fuck they want. If I want to enjoy something unproductive after a week of hard work, then that’s what I’m going to do. Who gives a shit what a woman thinks of it?
xMB99 6y ago
Isn't staring at a computer screen or a smartphone screen the same thing?
[deleted]
SensualSeduction01 6y ago
Do you know how to fight? Are you physically strong?
reallyeesah 6y ago
I'm physically strong but I don't know how to fight. Why do you ask?
reallyeesah 6y ago
I'm physically strong but I don't know how to fight. Why do you ask?
SensualSeduction01 6y ago
Learn how to fight. All that shit about holding frame comes with the territory.
reallyeesah 6y ago
Any particular fighting style you recommend?
SensualSeduction01 6y ago
I’d go with boxing. But suit yourself
Tripletag 6y ago
A lot of people here swear by BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu) because it apparently requires immense discipline and practice, while teaching you to pacify basically anyone foolish enough to get grappled by you.
I've personally only done boxing or kickboxing. I think your choice depends on what you want out of it. Try them all, pick one that suits your body type. I'm Dutch, so I'm basically genetically built for kickboxing or any martial art where reach is an advantage.