The "Bomb"

A plate, we'll call her... Tori, and I were in my bed after a rousing bout of sexual activity. She's cuddled up to me naked, I'm enjoying myself (I enjoy cuddle time after sex, it's a vice), and everything seems great. We're talking a bit, and at this moment, she sits up and says she has something to tell me. I'm thinking, Do we have to do this now? Really? Ugggh... So I wait for her to prepare herself, and she starts telling me about how great of a lay I am, and that she really appreciates the fact that I don't take all my frustration out on her vagina.

Wait what?

She continues on, and she starts telling me about this guy she's been fucking, how she's not all that physically attracted to him, and how much she hates having sex with him because he just pounds the shit out of her like her vagina murdered his children. I laugh my ass off at this description, and she retorts "it's not funny!" even though it really is quite hilarious. Sensing that I don't give a shit about what she does, she asks the next question:

How many girls are you seeing?

Oh boy, this was going to get good.

What Happened Next

So in the span of a few minutes, I get the typical I'm fucking another guy shit test, and the monogamy question. All in one go. I opt for partial truth, and tell her that I am seeing two other women in addition to her. She gets cold and distant, and I'm thinking to myself, Well, there goes this one. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. Oh well, juggling this many was getting to be a pain in the ass anyway. I offer her some comfort, kiss her cheek, and we start getting dressed. We chat a little bit more, I tell her I don't care that she's fucking someone else, and as she leaves, I can't help but feel like I made a mistake.

That afternoon, Tori texts me that she didn't expect me to be seeing other women (not the blue-pill you expected hmm?), and that this revelation "crushed" her, and that she couldn't believe that she was the asshole in that whole exchange (funny that she thought coming clean to me was an asshole move...).

I do fuck up, as she's sharing her state of mind, and says that she fucked up our relationship. I tell her that she didn't fuck anything up, and that nothing has changed between us unless she wants that. She snags onto it, and says that that's what she wants, and I soft-next.

Part Two

One day later, Tori asks if we can talk. "Sure." is my only response. She asks if we can meet face-to-face to talk, and I tell her that I'm busy and won't have time for several days. She expresses a lot of anger about the situation, and I suggest we stop talking for a few days and that she can meet me for that face-to-face in about four or five days. She keeps trying to bait me in, and I tell her this is something we can talk about in a few days.

As time goes by, she settles down and is asking for when we can meet, and I give her a time, day, and location. A couple of days go by, and we have this conversation:

• Tori: "I'm feeling like there's no point in meeting tomorrow."
• Me: "Why is that?"
• Tori: "The more I think about it, the angrier I get, and you just don't get it. If you want to get punched in the arm tomorrow, we can meet."
• Me: "What, that it's about what you want in a relationship?"
• Tori: "I don't think you can give me what I want."
• Me: "We'll find out soon enough."
• Tori: "Do not fuck with me, just stop!"

At this point, I decide it's just not worth pursuing anymore, and I tell her that I think we should just go our separate ways, and that I hope she finds what she is looking for. I had one of my FWBs over that night when this conversation took place, and I just want to enjoy the rest of my evening. Tori calls me. I don't answer, and she texts me asking if she can come by. I tell her "No." She asks why, and I tell her "Because it's over, and that's how it is."

Now, she sends me some angry texts about wanting threesomes and is generally accusatory. My FWB leaves eventually, and 15 minutes later, I get a knock at my door. I take a quick look around, thinking my FWB forgot something, and then open the door expecting to see my FWB. Oh no, it's Tori, in the flesh.

She Wants Closure (and Drama)

I step outside and close the door, not even bothering to put on a jacket despite how cold it is, and head over to my driveway where the floodlights are. I start recording the conversation on my phone, and I ask her what she is doing here. She just wants to talk, and I tell her that we were going to talk tomorrow. But after threats of violence and showing up unannounced at my home after I explicitly told her no, it's simply not going to happen. She goes on about how she's not crazy (right), she knows she sounds hypocritical, etc. I tell her that she's emotional and doing what she thinks is best, and that you can't blame anyone for doing what the feel is best. She says bye shortly after that, and she leaves, and I go back inside.

A minute later, knock, knock. Fuck, what the actual fuck. I open the door, and Tori is there, crying, and she say's she's sorry for just walking away, and sorry for showing up when she shouldn't have. I tell her to go home, and to think about this behavior, and that I'll call her in the morning and if I like what I hear, we'll have coffee like we planned.

The Meeting

I called her, and liked what I had to hear, so I decided to hear her out and give her the benefit of the doubt. The conversation went smoothly, she expressed concerns about my sexual activity, and I pointed out that she's fucking guys on the side. She owns up to being hypocritical by expecting me to put her on a pedestal. The conversation starts to become more casual, and I ask her if she felt bad about seeing and fucking two different guys and don't want the societal answer. She hesitates, and she says no, that she didn't feel bad about it. I ask her then why it's a problem if I am seeing other women, and she admits that it isn't.

I decide that she's learned a valuable lesson (rare), and decide that she can be re-plated and suggest we go back to my place. She readily agrees, and she's back to fucking me they way she should have during this whole bit.

Takeaway

Flipping the script of "It's just my turn" was risky and dangerous. If I slipped once, it could have easily become unmanageable- and I don't recommend trying to salvage a plate as it is almost always more trouble than it is worth. Having a plate that will enjoy me for as long as it's her turn though, that may be a very interesting thing indeed.

Stay firm, hold frame, and always be aware of the risks you take when you engage with someone. Walk away if the situation is not to your liking. Pick your battlefields and stay on top of the chaos. You choose your destiny and those who get to stay at your side.