Story time; I’ll try to condense as much as possible but I believe it’s important to grasp the dynamics at play and everywhere I went wrong, so be ready to read a bit. In fact it’s a long read, scroll to the bottom for the TL;DR if you want to determine if this can apply or help you in any way. This is just to help men who think they’ve dug themselves too far into the hole and want to take their masculinity back.
Background
I left a 3.5 year LTR, moved to a new city, and entered a new environment. I had been casually browsing TRP but would dismiss anything that hurt my precious ego, not fully digesting the pill. I decided to experiment with the new females I was working with, had some success but ultimately succumbed to blue pill ways, emasculated myself in my social setting, and how I took it all back.
Introduction
It started off with “this one girl.” Yup, we all know how that goes. We were all new to this environment, getting to know each other, and I caught the eye of this beautiful creature. I knew enough TRP to understand IOI’s so I assumed attraction, was charismatic, and escalated things. We’ll call her Sarah.
So Sarah is objectively pretty, and she knows this. Everywhere we go, she turns heads, and she eats it up. I manage to keep myself in check and never feed into her beauty seriously, I just manage to focus on having a good time with her. I can tell she’s starting to catch some feelings as well but I continue to play it cool.
Let me preface this by stating: Never shit where you eat. She was a cohort that I was going to spend the next few years in close proximity with, but I threw caution to the wind.
Enter shit tests. This whole time spent with her has been going well, I’m doing everything right. I’m coming off as solid, not affected by her looks, and only interested in fun. We hang out more and more and she gets more physical with me. Then suddenly, she’s blowing me off. She’s hanging out with another guy, seemingly preferring him over me. I’m a pretty good looking guy and have a fair amount of confidence so I’m not threatened by this other guy. In a way, I knew what she was doing, but I handled it in a bad way.
I find yet another cohort, we’ll call her Carmen. Yes I know, dumb and dumber ideas here. Carmen isn’t as pretty as Sarah but damn is she feisty, a ball of energy, and an amazing body. I decide, as punishment, to ignore Sarah and work on things with Carmen. The only problem with Carmen is she is in a serious relationship. But that doesn’t stop her from flirting like no other.
Body
Carmen and I just click. Everywhere we go, it’s me and her always on each other. I have completely forgotten about Sarah by this point. Carmen is just so much fun and getting her affection isn’t a chore. I begin developing oneitis without realizing it. In the back of my mind, while we’re touching and dancing, I’m thinking she’s a little slut to be behaving like this when she has a boyfriend back home. But I didn’t care, we had “something special.” It was obviously special enough to make me forget about Sarah.
In fact, what we had was so “special,” I began thinking about more than just her pussy. I started to think of how well we got along, and no matter what we were doing, we always managed to make it fun. I completely ignored all the signs of her flirtatious ways. It didn’t matter that she would flirt with other guys, what we had was “real.” I was fantasizing how fun we would be having if we were dating… you know like make it official? People were already questioning what was going on between us, might as well make it a thing… right?
Wrong. So fucking wrong. Despite her BLATANT RED FLAGS, I decided she was dating material. I mean, that was the only way to her pussy. It all came to a peak one night of dancing. We were all over each other like usual. We head out to the dance floor and she’s pressing her body into me like never before. She’s having a great time, throwing her head back and laughing and I’m just taking it all in. It was so magical, me and my majestic unicorn frolicking on the dance floor, lost in the music and love. She leans in and puts her lips on my neck.
Now we have crossed lines before. Holding hands, her sitting on my lap, her calling me on her drive to see her boyfriend because she’s “bored.” But we never crossed-crossed lines up until this point.
As quickly as I feel her wet lips on my neck, they’re gone. There’s a moment where we both look down and acknowledge briefly then ignore what just happened. The night continues.
The next day I decide is my move. If I’m going to date her, I need to do it right, I ask to meet for coffee after work. The plan is I tell her my undying love and she realizes what we have is special, breaks up with her boyfriend, and we begin dating.
Cringe.
It didn’t go that way at all. I told her I liked her, face to face. She acted shocked. She said she had no idea, that she knows she can be too friendly sometimes. I bring up the kiss and she gaslights me. Claims she doesn’t remember ever doing that and that she was drinking a lot that night (she wasn’t).
There I’m sitting, like a complete chump. She’s asking how long I’ve felt this way. Asking why her. Seeking all this validation and I’m just giving it to her, showing her every card I have. And in all my beta-ness, I ask her how she feels. “I mean, I don’t know, you’re cool…” I realize how embarrassing this was and that I’ve lost. I tell her I don’t want to make things weird and that we should probably not get as friendly in the future to avoid these situations.
Despite my “success” up to this point, I had forgotten some harsh red pill truths. I didn’t keep frame, I got involved with a coworker, I got involved with a taken girl, I developed oneitis, I ignored red flags, and most importantly, I disrespected myself.
So at my lowest, I try to remain humble. I try to be a friend to her because we are all in the same social circle. But at the same time, I’m so worried people are talking behind my back, mocking me and my failed efforts. She won, I lost. I try to take it on the chin but it’s hard.
When we go out in a group, she reverts back to old ways. This time the touching is more sensual, the looks are more seductive. She knows she won, she knows she has my attention, she knows she has all the power, and she’s fine dangling that carrot in front of me every single time we hang out.
I am so ashamed of myself I distance myself from her. I enter a sort of monk mode, come back to TRP and start digesting it fully this time. I accept to hurt, the anger, and I just take it all in. It’s hard to let go of her because I wanted it so bad. But I remind myself over and over again that she only wanted my attention. And she played me for the fool I am.
I begin to be honest with myself. What we had was not “special.” I only wanted her pussy and I was justifying my “toxic masculinity” by telling myself I actually liked her as a person. I didn’t want to accept that what we had wasn’t “fun,” it was just flirting. I didn’t want to accept that I was putting her pussy on a pedestal. But I came around to finally accept that I was indeed a beta, that I was avoiding being a man, that AWALT.
I ignored her. I wasn’t friendly or “fun” with her anymore. I backed away when she would get touchy. I didn’t respond to her snaps and was short in her texts. I ensured she was always texting me first. I flirted with other women when we were out. There was no way I was going to let this bitch get away with my attention like that again. Even managed to catch a lay here and there with some strange.
Enter shit tests. Whatever she felt before, I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. She definitely loved the attention and now that it was going away, she became malicious. She took the social circle and isolated me from it. At first I was devastated. I had no one. I was no longer being invited to the fun stuff, but I was sure to get snaps of them having the fun.
Remember Sarah? The whole time I was getting close with Carmen, Sarah was making efforts to which I was completely ignoring. Now Sarah is prettier than Carmen, but not nearly as fun. In fact, she’s a pain in the ass to hang with. But I had no one else, so I started to hang with her. Mainly to piss Carmen off. And like clockwork, the more attention Sarah was getting, the more she began not wanting it from me. But she was my only means of social interaction so I clung.
Well, I played myself again. I clung for the wrong reasons, pushed Sarah away, and isolated myself again. Fuck women, this shit is too complicated. I embraced monk mode.
I deleted all social media. I went out alone. If I saw a pretty girl, I approached. I embraced being alone. I was now the only one responsible for my happiness, and that felt good. Finally I had the power, not some attention whore. I decide what I want to do. I started having more and more success with random women. I never got attached, I kept my happiness my responsibility. Not some pussy. I don’t care what my old social group thinks of me, what they say about me, I’m me and fuck them if they don’t like it. I have nothing to prove.
After some time embracing my new self. Of establishing frame and never letting anyone shake it, I begin getting invites to hang with the old group again. Most of the time I deny but occasionally I’ll meet up with them. And when I do, holy shit they’re boring. All these snaps of the “fun” times I was missing out on were the same old lame people doing the same old lame things in the same old lame circle. What exactly was I missing out on again? I’m the one branching out, meeting new people, going on exciting adventures… and they’re the ones afraid to leave the tribe, always stuck up each others asses. And when I do decide to meet up with them, I hardly even hang in their group, I’m moving around the bar, chatting up pretty women and having a blast. Meanwhile they’re over there in a circle talking about work and buried in snapchat trying to give the impression of a fun time.
And where exactly does that leave Sarah and Carmen? Well they took my friends from me, they can have them. When Carmen sees me now, even if I’m talking to a group of girls, she’ll come up from behind, wrap her arms around me, and tell me how much she misses me, that’s it’s been exactly X amount of days since she’s seen me. And I just give a slight chuckle and go back to talking to the other girls. Then she goes and sulks in a corner and gets hammered drunk the rest of the night, feeling sorry for herself. Sarah doesn’t drink and she’ll try and bring random guys around me constantly. Trying to match me with the women I’m entertaining. But it doesn’t work like that. It’s not hard for a pretty girl to get a guy’s attention; she’s still boring to be around. Whereas I’m making a group of women laugh and get all kinds of tingles with my charisma. Sarah and Carmen get none of that anymore.
Conclusion
I know it’s a long ass read but I want to highlight some red pills here and how, if you’re in such a low position, to bring yourself out of it.
Carmen used me for attention. She was already satisfied, her ego well fed. I expected pussy in return and she would just hint at it all the time. I was never satisfied. It wasn’t until I was honest with myself that unless I’m getting pussy, she gets no attention. And she will not disrespect me like that again, or use me to disrespect her boyfriend. And now that I’ve taken it back, she’s getting increasingly more desperate in her attempts to get it back.
Sarah also used me for validation. I’m a good looking guy, and I’m fucking hilarious when I want to be. But I’m also prone to blue pill tendencies and suck at shit tests. I proved myself beta in her eyes but now she sees me differently.
They both took the social circle to isolate me in retaliation to me taking my attention away. But I have done nothing but improve with that isolation. I have formed new relationships, had more fun, grew as a man. I took lemons and made lemonade. I took lemons and became the fucking CEO of Tropicana. That in itself is masculinity. I took it back. I molded my environment to how I saw fit. They have no choice but to be attracted to that, it’s genetically wired in to their biology. They may try to hamster themselves to the contrary but their pussy has never been wetter.
The rare times I do hang with them, to visually see how depressed they get without my charm is invigorating. To see how boring the social circle is without my antics is amusing.
You may bash me and say I’m egotistical and I say to you, you’re God damn right I am. I’m the fucking prize. And my commitment is so fucking valuable the only way you’ll be able to get it from me is if you completely submit to my rules. I will ghost you otherwise and watch you struggle as your ego copes. And unless your pussy is served prepped and ready on a silver platter for me, I stay gone.
You men, us men, need to honestly grasp this. Your time, attention, commitment is the most valuable thing you have. Respect yourself and stop giving it away so freely. Make the women work for it. You can leverage it in exactly the same way women leverage their pussy.
In the end it doesn’t fucking matter. Maybe I’m the laughing stock of the group. Maybe I’m delusional. The point is I don’t care. I have the power now. The success I’ve had with complete strangers now tells me that whatever the case may be, I’m finally doing something right.
TL;DR
Caught oneitis for a unicorn, vomited my feelings all over her, was socially rejected, and am completely 100% okay with that. In fact I feel pretty good about it.
izzyinjurious 5y ago
The ending was worth the read. You dropped the ball with Carmen and tbh I was half hoping you'd fclose them just to show your dominance. I respect it even more that you didn't. But the line of "became the CEO of Tropicana" was fucking gold. I laughed so fucking hard for five minutes, thank you. Also, we are the fucking prize. You ended it so well. If I was rich for sure would give you gold. Keep up the good work.
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akq0 5y ago
Nice story bro.
Im stealing this:
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kahunaburger12 5y ago
This is exactly what I was going through. Luckily, I'm gonna exit soon. Thanks for this.
igorhw 5y ago
This is "just don't do what I did here" type of post. Good that you learned from it, but I don't think the readers can grasp much of your story here, since you bring no new good points or analysis about your cringey behaviour.
Since there are so few good posts lately, I thank you anyway. I am considering posting something myself, maybe I have something useful to share.
Cheers.
RealMcGonzo 5y ago
​
Yeah, that right there is a problem. The more you care about what other people think, the more power you give them. Also, people don't spend nearly as much time thinking about other people as they spend thinking about themselves. Everybody is the star in their own movie - other people are supporting characters at best.
TontoKemosabe 5y ago
It does objectively matter what people think of you.
If they don't like you, you're open to being assaulted (and the legal nightmare that follows), your property vandalized, your work sabotaged, and so on.
In these times, the law doesn't matter. What matters is social opinion and power. And even those can be forcefully taken from you at any time.
Men's rights to life, liberty, and property only exist if other people feel like honoring them or if you can enforce them yourself, which I guarantee 99% of men aren't powerful enough to do.
These may be hard pills to swallow but I have found them to be reliably true within the still-degenerating Western culture.
yahIDGAF 5y ago
It does and it doesn't. It's a fine balance. On the one hand, you should care what other people think of you. You should want people to like you and to respect you. But on the other hand, you don't want to be a passive people pleaser. Nobody respects that person. Ultimately, please yourself and live by your rules, but if everybody fucking hates you, is that pleasing yourself? I would think not.
Realize you can't read people's minds. And as long as you're happy with your actions while being mindful of other people, you should be good.
TontoKemosabe 5y ago
Harsh life experience suggests you are mistaken.
Kiroboss 5y ago
one of the laws of power is reputation
lulzguard 5y ago
Now this is kind of the read for which I come to this sub. Thanks for sharing.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
Thanks for the contribution. You need to keep swallowing though, because despite your words, your butthurt attitude does not demonstrate real acceptance of TRP. I bet you'll fall for the next unicorn that seems to want you all to herself. If you accept that you were the one ignorant of the rules, you would get over the hurt feelings and convert both women into friends that give you ample pre-selection.
EmannuelKent 5y ago
i agree but i dont think tits a bad thing to want to be monogamous. i didnt read the whole post just the tldr. and i believe as long as he can keep himself seperated from her and not fall into the blue pill trap of overexpressing his feelings or investing in her more than she invests in u, it could work. u need to retain ur masculinity and power in order to keep a relationship going. retaining ur sense of self and individuality is key
BobbyPeru 5y ago
^^^ this
OP, this guy nails it.
Platos_slow_brother 5y ago
No, they are not and never will be friends.
MattMan970 5y ago
How would you convert the 2 girls into friends w/o losing frame? Thoughts that come to mind are the same cliche: "It's not you it was me that caught feelings, but LJBF," or some type of validating carrot to feed them (appease them) and still distance yourself from them while still reaping social benefit from pre-selection?
yahIDGAF 5y ago
Friend zone their asses. You don't have to explain anything. Just don't fall for their bullshit and don't pull a move. I guaran-fucking-tee they'll make a move on him at some point, and if he pulls back and is like nah, then he's got it.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
He already did - he moved on and they came back around because women can't stand a man forgetting about them. He just needs to play nice a little to avoid scorned-woman syndrome and use their social interaction as a friendly advertisement of preselection.
MilkMoney111 5y ago
I definitely take blame for letting things get to where they are, that was from having weak frame. I'd be lying if I said I didn't still harbor some animosity and I'm coming around to acceptance. We are still friends but I keep them at a healthy distance now. The unicorn feeling is still slightly present so although I'm casual with the one girl, I refrain from getting too close. I just don't want to read too much in to her behavior and get trapped in my old ways again.
hepahepahepa 5y ago
I stopped reading at the part when she started seeing another guy but you were ok with it. You drop that shit like a hot potato and demote her to fuck toy at best.
Edit: I read the tl;dr and im giving you an "oof and yikes/10" you have homework to do son.
Platos_slow_brother 5y ago
Stop hating cats for pouncing on mice. Stop hating on eagles for snatching up rabbits.
And you can do this by stop being a mouse or rabbit.
[deleted] 5y ago
^ This is how you get guys out of the anger phase.
magx01 5y ago
Couldn't his response be his nature just like their actions are their nature?
Foobyx 5y ago
With this text you dont seems to be a great guy friend to have - in a circle of guys, not including girls here
MilkMoney111 5y ago
That was one of the main things that bothered me about being isolated. They took my bros with them. This story spans a long period and I didn't include the details of how I tried to keep my guy friends to no avail. It got to the point where I would plan guy things during the day, like going to the batting cages, but come the evening they'd go out for drinks and never contact me. Despite my efforts in having a man-to-man talk with them, they'd always casually forget to invite me to nights out, save once in a blue moon. And I found when I did go out, the girls wouldn't let them off the leash to have fun. I love them, but they're too stuck up the girls asses to do guy shit.
In their defense, they are the most passive men I've ever met. They are chill to a fault. They don't plan anything, never have, just kinda go with whatever someone tells them to do. The girls recognize this, set up plans for the evening, and omit me. But I continue to make effort. They both play rec sports so I find out their schedule and go to their games, which I know they appreciate.
At some point I have to realize I'm spinning my wheels when the girls are involved. Great guys, and I'll have a fun time the opportunities we get, but counting on them to let me know the plans hasn't worked for a year now. So I worked on making new friends in the gym and other departments at work.
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SKRedPill 5y ago
Good job. And also remember, most people are far more broken than you think. They're already dump standard. Screen and Filter. And never stick your dick in crazy. Do not shit where you eat - it will ruin your integrity at work. This is a good way of ensuring that what was once a male space becomes completely feminized over time.
Theguygotgame777 5y ago
Holy shit, a girl did this to me just this week. She was complaining (over text) that she hadn't gotten any dick since she moved here, no one thinks she's hot, etc, and I dryly noted that I offered to fuck her earlier that weekend. (Face to face. She had mentioned it then as well.) She claimed she didn't remember it at all, even though she said she remembered the place that I had asked her.
Still though, we eventually did a FaceTime session with both of us naked and jerking off. Which is all we're like to do, seeing as we live so far apart. She would've made a good plate, but even if a woman is literally talking about how much she wants sex, that's still angling for validation.
bakamoney 5y ago
Women 100% remember every thing. but only the things which suit their narrative.
Its not even intentional ... But its still retarded.
saucierlol 5y ago
Have you ever had to lie to save your life? Something that you really had to lie about or else something really fucking bad would happen. It is so detrimental that you believe your own lie. And your mind starts bending the truth to suit your lie. It naturally changes what really happened, all down to the small details that would make sense in that situation. And it's on repeat in your mind constently, until the heat dies down and you are in the clear. Happened to me once. To this day, I know I lied, but I cannot remember what really happened because the lie literally replaced the reality in my mind. So according to MY reality, this is how it happened. I am convinced that psychopaths do this all the time. An average person like can do it as well when it's (almost) a matter of life and death. I am also convinced that women can do this with as much ease as psychopaths, and for the simplest, most begnin. When you realized that, it becomes fucking scary to talk with a woman because you have absolutely no idea what is real and what isn't.
bakamoney 5y ago
Except women are casual liars.
They literally lie about the smallest of stuffs. Even though the other version might have had no effect anyways.
saucierlol 5y ago
Yes it is what I am saying. Sorry maybe my writing is not really clear. I am saying that women can lie about the smallest stuffs, and convince themselves that their lie is actually the truth. Very easily.
_Legendairy_ 5y ago
Could you elaborate a little more on making women work for your attention? It seems like you’d have to give a little attention in the beginning in order to kick it off, but then do you just stop talking to them until they text you or hang out with you?
MilkMoney111 5y ago
I definitely let them know I'm attracted. If it's a friend, I do it subtly. If it's a random I can be a little more blatant.
Girls know they're pretty, but they also want to believe there's something special about them that sets them apart. If a guy only cares about looks, he will leave the girl for another equally or more attractive one. This is an insecurity women have. So giving them that initial attraction sign let's them know they have your interest but not quite your attention. As there are bountiful amounts of pretty women out there, she's just another one.
If you come off as an alpha, and she knows you're attracted, she'll want validation she's unique and she gets this from your attention. If you give it away too easily, she's validated, she is more likely to move on. There are different ways they validate themselves, one is by how willing you are in giving them your time, another is by how thirsty you come off to their flirting (where I fucked up in the above story).
​
EDIT: I should add... if you've done everything right (become masculine and attractive), the women will seek out your attention. Your best way to play it is to just have fun with her and not take anything seriously. You're subtly giving her the attention she wants but you're not overdoing it, she will have to continue to prove she's fun and unique or whatever to get more of your attention. If you do text, make it something fun, don't text about bland stuff.
imeannothing 5y ago
Nice story bro, glad that you learned something. I'm also struggling simetimes with oneitis so I really understand. I think now you know your value and it will be easier for you to hold frame, so anyway you won in a long term.
KewlThanks 5y ago
calm down, she's just another female who's face or body you enjoy
BurntYams 5y ago
I enjoyed the read, especially how you highlighted what those women actually did through a RP lens. Nice post, OP.
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JuliusTestvola 5y ago
It sounds like you were in deep with Carmen and that you had her locked in. But.. you dropped the ball. The lesson here is to be able to infiltrate with a safety net called 'plausable deniability'. She used this safety net.
warlordchad 5y ago
You could fuck both those girls if you want to, but I also get the whole don’t shit where you eat thing.
vullnet123 5y ago
I used to work with my ex and I'm glad I'm not with her anymore at that store. Too many things can go wrong.
unique_user9 5y ago
I doubt it. If he could have boned them, he already would have. If not Carmen because she wanted attention but didn't want to cheat on her bf, then surely, Sarah. She was dumb and pretty. I am not sure he can bang either of them because I see him falling into the same vicious circle again. And frankly it's not worth it to bone someone at their workplace.
And despite what he says , he lost his friends. He says he is branching out and shit. But frankly friendships are not like romantic relationships. There is always a place for a third or fourth or fifth.
I know the friend circle seems immature and dumb. But unless OP has another solid circle, I will count that as a loss. You can't plate friends and always find new ones. That is too much work. Long term friendships are better because they are easy to maintain. Looking for randos to talk sounds tiring and useless in the long term.
yahIDGAF 5y ago
If he played his cards right, I think he still could. But it requires a fine line and honestly, it's not worth it.
Zahlix 5y ago
Can't be stressed enough. Never ever dip your pen in the company ink.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
True fact. I’m in upper management, and we are consistently moving people out of departments and other such actions. This always hurts their career because then they have to start all over in an unfamiliar department where they usually don’t know jack... plus, the stigma follows them around.
BTW, this doesn’t just apply to fucking around... it can include friendships. We recently had a situation where one of our manager’s wife became good friends with an employee’s wife. We had to move the manager out because he has to do compensation reviews and other management actions. That wife situation makes him much more likely to be bias and give the employee preferential treatment.
It can run deep. Be careful in the workplace.
When in doubt, err on the side of caution
[deleted] 5y ago
Treat work as nothing more than a polite transaction of your time for their money. If it is anything but, leave. Leave if it is impolite, family, fun, friendships, day game playground, etc...
Best business decision I ever made was to realize the “fun” they were plying me with came at the expense of salary increases. It was that day that I became an independent contractor to my employer and nearly doubled my salary overnight. The kegerator in the office then came out of someone else’s paycheck as “employee benefits” or whatever.
JuliusTestvola 5y ago
Yeah im in a 4d chess nightmare at my work. Never ever shit where you eat.
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throwabcdaway3 5y ago
Did u even get laid during that time ?
MilkMoney111 5y ago
Not with those two particular. The above story spans a 1.5 year timeframe. The majority of it being beta and working on myself in isolation. I managed to eventually get laid after a lot of trial and error in going at things alone. Slowly over time things improved with my game and different women.
But now with all that said and done, I have completely removed any possibility of fucking either of those two. I shut down any slight hint of flirting. I don’t think they would have a chance to even throw themselves at me. Even if they did, I’m wise enough now to know that getting involved with them is a really dumb idea.
throwabcdaway3 5y ago
U should see it as a challenge
TontoKemosabe 5y ago
It seems the Degeneration hasn't rotted your community yet.
You were (and are?) able to approach women and learn the process without feeling the threat of sudden imprisonment.
In too much of the US, practicing game is soft-outlawed by the threat of false accusations.