What women are attracted to, more than anything, is perceived status. They are evolutionary programmed to seek out the most powerful alpha male they can. In civilization, power doesnt mean muscles or intelligence, it means social status. Social status doesnt simply refer to career or money (as many people falsely believe it does). Social status is a perception. You can be a drug addict thug, but people can perceive you as an alpha male (as many women do).
In a group of friends, the poor ugly one can be the alpha. Its all about behavior and perception. Its about who leads (alpha) and who follows (beta). Who is assertive (alpha) and who isnt (beta). Who feels lucky to be in the group (beta) and who feels is laid back (alpha).
When a woman perceives you as high status, she sees you as an alpha. When a woman perceives you as low status, she sees you as a beta. Women want to be with the highest status man they can.
We see this in other primates. Females seek out the alpha male of packs, and when the alpha male is dethroned, they no longer have any interest in him. Ever hear the idea that most women will lose attraction to you if you tell them about your depression or lose your job? Same thing. It destroys their perception that you are high status, which consequently destroys their attraction to you.
This is why so many women are attracted to jerks and have no interest in nice guys. When you are a jerk to a woman, you are asserting social dominance over her. On the other hand, if you treat her like a queen, you are acting submissive to her, and she will consequently perceive you as lower social status. If she perceives you as lower social status, she will not be attracted to you. Heres an analogy to elaborate on this-
Imagine you met a celebrity that you liked. How would you act around them? Probably a bit nervous. You may be tempted to compliment them. If they made a suggestion about something (like a restaurant to go to), you probably wouldnt oppose it. Youd feel like you were lucky to meet them. If you managed to get their number and they texted you, you probably wouldnt ignore their texts. These are just some examples. You can imagine what itd be like to meet a celebrity.
Now imagine how they would act. They wouldnt feel lucky to meet you. They probably wouldnt compliment you at all. Theyd likely lead the conversation, and wouldnt be afraid to disagree with you. If you texted them, theres a decent chance they would just ignore it, or wouldnt respond for awhile. Again, these are just examples, you can imagine how a celebrity would interact with an average person.
The purpose of this hypothetical is to examine human behavior regarding the social hierarchy. Your behavior towards the celebrity is the way that people generally behave towards someone who is higher social status. The celebrities behavior towards you is how people generally behave towards those who are below them on the social hierarchy. For effective communication purposes, lets just call it "alpha behavior" (how the celebrity acts towards average people) and "beta behavior" (how the average person would act around a celebrity).
Your behavior towards women is a huge factor, regarding their perception of you. If you exhibit beta behavior (always complimenting her, afraid to disagree, paying for her stuff, always texting back quickly, acting like you are lucky to be with her), she will perceive you as lower social status than herself, and will not be attracted to you. If you exhibit alpha behavior (never complimenting her, criticizing her, taking awhile to text back/ignoring texts, etc), she will perceive you as above her on the social hierarchy, and will be more attracted to you.
This behavior is enough to override other qualities. EG, if you are a tall, wealthy, good looking, successful businessman, but you exhibit beta behavior, she will still think less of you and lose attraction for you. You can be rich, handsome, tall, and muscular, but if you treat her like she is above you, she will believe it. She may keep you around for the benefit of resources, but she will lose attraction for you.
Similarly, you can be a total loser by many objective measures (a broke, stupid, drug addict thug), but if you exhibit alpha behavior, she will perceive you as above her. If you treat her as if shes below you, she will believe shes below you (and become more attracted to you), even if shes actually above you by all objective measurement. Its all about perception.
snow616 5y ago
What about if your gf is pregnant 25 weeks and has hormonal issues? Same approach? I'm genuinely curious and want feedback
[deleted]
memer935115 5y ago
I would ask that on asktrp.
zealanderx 5y ago
" Ever hear the idea that most women will lose attraction to you if you tell them about your depression or lose your job? Same thing. It destroys their perception that you are high status, which consequently destroys their attraction to you. "
No,
But I can tell you the time I lost my hottest love because of this shit and only put 2+2 together when I found TRP...
Thank god this place is back up
[deleted]
UberGenes 5y ago
Why the fuck would you go around calling yourself an alpha anyways? If the king walks around calling himself a king it's gonna come off as try-hard and nobody will respect him. What we call it is besides the point, what matters is that women sort men into two categories: dominant men and little bitches. Which one do you want to be?
DC239 5y ago
soo trying to act like a king if you're not, doesn't make you come off as tryhard?
[deleted]
German8835 5y ago
But there is still thing I am bugged about in your post...
You CAN compliment, but not something that was given her by the nature... for example:
“Nice hair, looks like you put some effort into it.”
You can pay for her stuff, but it depends on your connection: Rapport established, she pays this drink round, you pay the next.
The most important things are: YOU have fun YOU don’t care what she thinks, you shit at the shittests, are confident, and ignore her attempts at changing your frame YOU decide when to compliment, when not YOU have no fucking agenda. Outcome independence, you meet her in order to have a great time, and you will, doesn’t matter what.
AND the most important thing, you don’t want anything from anyone, you have your own path.
TheRabbitTunnel 5y ago
Both of those are backhanded compliments. Even though you are saying something nice about her, youre also putting her down and somewhat criticizing her.
When I said that complimenting them would be counter productive, i meant that praising them would be counter productive, and regular compliments are a way of praising someone. Backhanded compliments are not.
So yes, giving backhanded compliments wont make her think less of you. So you can give them and retain a high status image.
redmaxz 5y ago
This is so true, a FWB once told me exactly this.
I was the leader of the group, even though I was the youngest at 21(while the rest was 25-31) and avarage attractive within the group.
One 30 year old guy who was lifting for 8 years, but acting like a total beta (classic Hollywood romantic type) he still had a chance because of his looks, but didn't take it.
Anyway we talked and she told me she appreciated me always bringing everyone together, would text me telling me she misses me etc. She used the term alpha and beta as well.
[deleted]
CMaatH 5y ago
I agree, but I believe that the dynamic is significantly more complicated in different environments. Everyone seeks a particular group, a subset in society, where they can dominate because of their inherent skills. If anything, it should be every man’s desire to make sure that the subset that they participate in is one in which they can maintain a stable frame. In some contexts being exceptionally nerdy about Star Wars ensures an alpha level of confidence within a subset.
Yet, what this concept also implies is that society as a whole can also change what it decides to value in the individuals that comprise it. Suddenly, certain values have more power over others in the overarching context of human society regardless of the subset. We need to be very careful about the values that define our status in our fluctuating world.
AutoModerator 5y ago
Just a friendly reminder that as TRP has been quarantined, we have developed backup sites: https://www.trp.red and our full post archive (and future forums) https://www.forums.red/i/TheRedPill. Don't forget to register on TRP.RED and reserve your reddit name today. Forums.Red is currently locked but will be opened soon.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
[deleted]
[deleted]
truecrisis 5y ago
This concept has been more fleshed out through the teachings of "frame". You didn't mention frame once.
You can be alpha, but be in her frame. You can be beta but keep her in your frame.
Status matters but frame matters more. That's what your wall of text is trying to explain.
TheRabbitTunnel 5y ago
Care to elaborate on that? This "wall of text" couldnt have gotten the exact point across if it was much shorter.
Yeah actually nevermind, dont bother elaborating on frame. You cleary have no idea what youre talking about, and this post went over your head.
truecrisis 5y ago
Mmm good on the insults bro.
Anyway, alpha beta is all relative. An alpha at the high school video game club isn't necessarily alpha in the school.
However keeping someone in your frame is alpha behavior. When two people clash frames it looks like two alphas clashing. But alpha describes more than who has the frame. Alpha describes a hierarchy.
You can be low on the hierarchy in your social group (a percieved beta) but still be a jerk to her and keep her in your frame. With enough social grace you can attract her as well.
Anyway. My point was you need to use the right terminology in your post. Overall it's accurate, but long winded.
TheRabbitTunnel 5y ago
Im just saying that youre wrong in claiming that talking about frame could have more efficiently explained this. The fact that you believe so indicates a lack of understanding.
The post is not long winded. It gets across a very specific point, one that could not have gotten across by making a short post about frame.
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
Status and frame are I would venture basically identitical tho. Because whoever has the larger or more dominant frame is de facto highest status in the given situation.
Nicolas0631 5y ago
I'd say status is more external: what other say/think of you and how she perceive it.
I'd say frame is more how you actually behave and how she perceive it.
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
Well sure, status and frame aren’t precisely identical, but in the context of this issue, they are interchangeable. Status is external, frame is internal. But they are closely tied.
ReckaMan 5y ago
Just curious but isn't the whole alpha male thing just a myth. I remember seeing it one of Adam ruins videos. Where the scientist who originally documented the biggest wolf as being the alpha leader. He later then retracted that statement when he found out these Alphas were mostly just parents that were caring for their pups.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
Read up on primate social hierarchies.
lvanden 5y ago
Adam is a beta trying to save himself.
TheRabbitTunnel 5y ago
No its not a myth. Adam ruins is a show for entertainment. They say stuff that people will believe, some true, some false. Alpha is not a myth at all.