Inner Game VS Actionable Techniques
How's it going my guys?
Apart from groping someone, (like a rapist), or straight up telling them "I like you," (like a middle schooler), flirting is the only viable way adults have of informing someone of their interest. Additionally, when done skillfully, it can make the person of interest actually take a liking to you.
We can go on and on about how being confident, being charismatic, and other "inner game" concepts will land you your dream girl, but let's be honest, inner game without outer is like a car with a full gas tank and a dead battery.
Some believe that learning "lines" and "techniques" to "use on girls" is sterile and inhuman and robotic, but it doesn't have to be that way. In order to engage in proper, technical flirting that is still natural and doesn't reduce you to a computer, it's important to understand the psychology behind each kind of flirting and how it makes them work. I've detailed four distinct styles of flirting that you can mix and match to supercharge your game. With each individual style of flirting comes a positive emotional response that will result from it, and while I'm no psychologist, I'm well read enough to know why.
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Let me show you.
False Confrontational:
This is the act of pretending to be annoyed by, angry at, or outraged with a girl in a playful, joking way. Mock arguing, basically.
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So why, and how, does this work?
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When children play fight, it's beneficial to social development and can result in feelings of comfort and rapport between or among them, and has also shown to help them in forming bonds with their peers.
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Being "false confrontational" is a form of socio-dramatic play that accomplishes all of the above. Below are a few examples. You can use these exact lines if you want to, but you likely won't have to, since understanding the underlying concept should give you the ability to make up your own:
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"I hate you."
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"What am I gonna do with you?"
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"I can't believe you!"
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"Are you trying to get your ass kicked?"
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"Go. Leave, Get away from me."
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"You do not want to fuck with me."
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"Ugh! Sometimes I just can't stand you."
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I think I don't have to explain that your delivery should be congruent with your intentions. If you say something like this to a girl with a scowl on your face, or even remotely serious in any way, you're gonna make yourself look like an asshat and no woman is going to want to be within five miles of you, (unless she has mental issues.) Any of these lines, or any line similar, delivered with a smile and exaggerated bravado is sure to get a real laugh out of any girl.
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Framing The Girl:
This is one of my favorite. "Framing the girl" is the act of accusing the girl of being the sexual aggressor in your interactions. Your words and actions portray that she is trying to get in your pants, not vice versa. This works because it's reverse psychology. Girls don't want an easy guy. They want to feel as if they've made a "catch." They want to work for it, and feel like they've won something in the end. That's why everyone says you should act like "the prize," because girls like to win. If you end up on a date with this girl or you end up sleeping together, you want her to feel like it was kinda her idea. Examples are below:
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"Why are you hitting on me?"
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"Do you say that to all the guys?"
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"Whoa, slow down cowgirl. I'm a proper southern christian man. You're gonna have to wine and dine me before you can 69 me."
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"Hey. Let's get to know one another first."
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"Nice try, but talking like that isn't gonna get you in my pants."
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"Stop flirting with me!"
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"Did you just look at my ass?"
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"Flattery isn't gonna get you laid sweetheart."
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I've used these before, and let me tell you, the responses are priceless. Along with most of them being flat out hilarious, the less a girl felt pressured into having sex with me, the more open she was to the idea.
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You're So X It's Just Like Y:
This is the simple act of comparing the girl to something else in a silly, teasing, goofy kind of way.
Studies have shown that girls are often very attracted to something called "benevolent sexism." This is basically when a man treats a woman as lesser, but in a protector, caretaker kind of way. Woman want to feel smaller near their man. That doesn't mean they want to feel put down on an emotionally damaging level, but just remember that some girls call their SOs "daddy" in bed, and that should put things in perspective. The simple template is that the X is an adjective and the Y is a noun, but both are humorous, if not slightly demeaning:
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"You're so adorable. You're like a (small woodland animal.)"
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"Your ears are so cute. It's like you're Dumbo."
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"You're so small it's just like an oompa loompa. I bet you get turned away when trying to get on theme park rides."
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Think endearment in a patronizing way, similar to how you'd take the piss out of your kid sister if you have one.
Push/Pull:
Push Pull is the simple act of making two statements that are polar opposite one after the other. Giving someone a compliment in one clause and teasing them in the next is a perfect template. The reason Push Pull works so well with girls (I like to call it the holy grail of flirting) is because when you use it, you speak their language. Girls are experts at playing hot and cold and screwing with other's emotions, hence they go absolutely apeshit when it's done to them. "You're hot and you're cold/You're yes and you're no" in the immortal words of Katy Perry. They go on a mini emotional roller coaster and remain guessing throughout your entire interaction. They eat that shit up. Examples below:
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"I usually go for the dark haired girls, but I think I can make an exception."
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"If you were blonde you'd be perfect."
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"Your hair is so shiny. Is it a wig?"
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"That's so weird. I love it."
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"You're such a little shit. I like you."
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"That's an odd color. It looks amazing on you."
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You know, I actually kinda like you, it's just that, sometimes I can't stand you."
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"I hate you so much." Push "I'm just kidding come here." Pull close.
In closing,
Now that you have very specific outlines on how to flirt, your game should improve by leaps and bounds. I see so many individuals on this subreddit asking for "actionable steps." If only they knew exactly what to say, when to say it, and why they are saying it.
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I get that.
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I've always been less interested in concepts, more hungry for the action itself.
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Inner game is important, but flirting is a skill that can be deduced into a science. I hope I've helped some of you chumps out.
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Namaste.
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(BTW spellcheck just tried to change the "namaste" to the word "masters." Seriously wtf.)
Dark_T100 5y ago
I like the way you write. I look forward to your future contributions.
YGDieciseis 5y ago
Really appreciated the examples, great write up
CoronaTRP 5y ago
Thanks, very helpful to someone at my level
wayneinthegame 5y ago
Push/pull isn't just a contradictory statement like a backhanded compliment or neg. I've understood it to be happening over longer periods of time. For instance, pushing her away with body language and withdrawing attention periodically to get her to chase you and then then rewarding her with attention to pull her close.
UpperRedSide 5y ago
You're right.
Btw I wasn't claiming that push/pull is just verbiage. I was just suggesting to use it that way in the context of banter.
swejap 5y ago
Those lines sound like things a female would say?
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Aroundwork 5y ago
Said exactly like this
Xirnatts 5y ago
More like this
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[deleted] 5y ago
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UpperRedSide 5y ago
The literal translation of the word “Namaste” breaks down into three sections...Nama means bow; as means I; and, te means you. Thus, "I bow to you." The gesture is one of greeting in India. Am I missing something?
Also, did you just drop in for the sole purpose of attempting to correct me? That seems...odd.
bucketofweights 5y ago
But then again, I’m sure there’s a lot of other ways to flirt, but what really counts as flirting?
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Th3V3rg3 5y ago
Unless you're Tom Hardy, most of your examples aren't going to work on anything above a 6.
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Maybe you are that good looking and you think it's your game? "Your hair is so shiny. Is it a wig?" .... wow bro really?
Trenned_out 5y ago
Bro the point isnt his specific examples but the concepts themselves.
Sure some of what OP posted is shit I'd never say myself, but reading this I see many techniques I've had great success with.
I say good post OP
zyqkvx 5y ago
You are right, wrong and in between. There are times you might want to say something like that just to show her you can get away it, some girls love assholes. There are times you will say things that come out stronger than you meant, then you effortlessly hold frame and she ends up knowing you have frame. There are times you can say it simply to be absurd or hilarious.
Of course it can be an instant lose.
Last friday I was in a crowd watching fireworks. The cutie beside me, significantly younger was too short to see. I took an automatic chance and told her she was real short. She doubled back taking the hit, felt criticized. I knew i was walking in to danger when I was saying it yet surprised myself how blunt it came out. Then I doubled down and said something equally retarded on purpose, "Some girls are so damn sort." Some more ground zero tension. But I didn't flinch, and she could tell I was attracted to her. I may or may not have at that point made a vague statement that tall girls are manlike (I remember thinking it). Then I cut in to her two more times with minor teases that showed that i was a farse and actually liked her. Women have bitch shield to protect their feelings. Men have asshole shield. Oh, she was eating it up by the way, gave me geisha interest IOIs, was waiting thirstily for the next thing that would come out of my mouth. She positioned herself as if half turned away, yet couldn't help but twisting to face me, had big smile on her face.
I was already woman busy, and quite frankly was a bit off balance from my own charades. I flirt and release a lot. So I moved on when I had a chance to get closer to the stage (public concert).
I just thought of an asshole line I could have added. "Let's go find someplace quieter." as if we weren't completely engulft in an ocean wall of 60,000 people. That might have been the dead end or she might of said 'ok'. Maybe even, "Since you are short and can't see anyway, let's go find someplace quieter." Complete asshole. But with the successful asshole momentum I already had going she likely would have been entertained and impressed dead end or not.
No big story there. It might help some of the more clueless guys (so many of you) understand that women aren't unicorns that will get aids if they touch an unfamiliar beer bottle. The same night I had a woman ask me at point blank to reach in to her stewy plate and taste the brined radish. Didn't know her from Adam. I did and felt skirmish then we were talking like neighbors for like 30 min. She was older than me, I was just there for mutual ego boosting attention and some actually good conversation.
Get out of your head and it all works out.
UpperRedSide 5y ago
Yes.
Some people call them "negs." It's when you slightly insult a girl, lowering her ego and causing her to subconsciously desire your validation. If a girl has pretty hair and knows it, you're subtly insulting her when you assume it's not her real hair. She gets confused, wondering why you aren't sucking up and kissing her ass like every other guy. Which leads her to qualify to you. It's simple.
Using a girl's physical appearance to quantify the efficacy of a line is misguided, since girl's egos vary widely regardless of how they look. The most stuck up girl I know is a fucking 3.5 on a good day, and one of the sweetest, most modest girls I've ever chatted with was a high 9. It all depends on the girl. The bigger the ego, the more aggressive your pushes/negs should be and the less validation you should give. It's all relative. I don't see why this is so preposterous to you.
rappingwhiteguys 5y ago
Negs dont work. Like at all. I only started getting laid when i stopped negging. Girls are super insecure. They are insecure about a million things that your average dude wouldnt even notice. A girl who you insult over something shes insecure about isnt going to try to make you like her unless she already likes you or is a child (18/19). Shes not going to wonder why youre not sucking up to her, shes going to wonder why youre an asshole and how to stop talking to you... unless shes already into you. Its simple. If someone insults me im not gonna work to get them to like me im just gonna try to leave and talk to someone else.
Now some of your advice is good. The false confortational is real, im just thinking about a buddy of mine who everyone thinks is really sexy and hes like "fuck you" to everyone all the time... then you get to know him and hes really sweet. Push pull is real, negging is not. THE IDEA OF NEGGING WAS INVENTED BY A DIAGNOSED SCIZOPHRENIC WHO SPENT YEARS PICKING UP DRUNK GIRLS WHEN HE WAS SOBER.
TheRedPike 5y ago
Oh dear sky fairy, don’t insult them. At its best, it is playful and fun for them. At its most basic, it is a dominabr behavior. Men do it to each other way more than they do it women.
jeralte 5y ago
It’s called a backhanded compliment you cunt. Anyone with half a brain and some social skills knows what you’re trying to do.
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Store_Front_Door 5y ago
Why do you think the most upvoded and popular posts, even the "How to get laid like a Warlord" doesn't really have examples on what to say exactly instead they're there to describe and analyse the situation and what it does to your frame and what your frame should be- because game, or let's just call it social interactions, can not be learned by reading and repeating exact lines, unless you want to come off as Zucc during interviews.
Even your notorious "wig" line can be pulled off by an assertive, good looking man, whose confidence is simply spilling over, on the other hand, it can not be pulled off by a weak framed guy that doesn't have "it" and only relies on "examples of what to say, exactly".
So, the conclusion is, that the idea behind your post isn't bad, but the current presentation is- you focused on the wrong things, the examples and generic texts have no real value without diving deep in to the core of the interaction, they should be there to spice things up, not stand as the main idea of a post.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Interpreting theory isn't always easy and we've got more than enough of that on here.
Giving actual examples goes a long way to a more in depth interpretation of the theory.
It's not necessarily about parroting what you've read here, but rather about getting an understanding of the sort of language that gets used in the interaction.
UpperRedSide 5y ago
I see what you're trying to say, but you're wrong. One of the main points that I repeated throughout my post is that, there are enough posts discussing inner game, confidence, attitude, frame, therefore I didn't really have to say much about those subjects. I'm not leaving inner game concepts out, I simply don't feel the need to repeat them. Not trying to be insulting, but I'm not sure how you missed that. I repeated it multiple times.
redhawkes 2 5y ago
"You rely on “pickup” lines to eventually discard reliance on pickup lines."
Meaning, you need to internalize the concept behind it, then it becomes second nature.
UpperRedSide 5y ago
This is why I stressed how and why each kind of flirting works. If you know that, you can internalize the concepts and use them on the fly.
Th3V3rg3 5y ago
No, telling a 9 her hair is a wig is retarded. She knows only a retard or desperate boy would say something so dumb.
I get push pull, that isn’t it.
UpperRedSide 5y ago
Blanket counter statements without evidence. Blind speculation based on unfounded notions. You're jumping to conclusions about something you've clearly never tried.
I honestly regret responding in the first place, since most people just have to have the last say, but this is my last reply on this thread.
It's okay if, in your opinion, you think this wouldn't "work," (I'm a little confused by your choice of words as well), but don't pass your opinions off as fact. That just gets tiresome. Peace.
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