Kino escalation is the process of touching a girl in an increasingly intimate way until you sleep with her.
Physical touch is important because it's the primary difference between a friendly interaction and a sexual interaction.
In this article, you’re going to learn a fool-proof strategy for bringing physical touch into your interactions with women. And you’re going to learn how to do this in a way that will help you hook up with attractive women consistently (without being creepy).
Use Kino Escalation To Get The Girl
Kino escalation isn’t something you do to a girl. It’s more like a dance that you and a girl do together. However, women will rarely lead this dance, so you must take the lead.
When you touch a girl, she will respond in one of three ways: positively, neutrally, or negatively. If she responds positively, you can take that as a green light to touch her more intimately.
If she responds neutrally or negatively, you should take a step back and allow her to get more comfortable with you before re-initiating.
For reference, here’s what a positive, neutral, and negative response looks like:
-Positive response: When you touch her, she touches you back or leans in towards you. (You can see an example of a positive response in this hidden camera video- https://youtu.be/OhmTUyDZc6M?t=398)
-Neutral response: When you touch her, she doesn’t push you away, but she doesn’t reciprocate either.
-Negative response: When you touch her, she rejects the touch. The most important thing to know about physical touch is this: every time you interact with a girl you like, but you don’t initiate some kind of physicality, you are being rejected.
Yes, when you touch a girl you’re taking a risk: she might reject you. But if you never get physical with a girl, you’re not just risking rejection – you’re guaranteeing it.
The biggest mistake men make when it comes to “kino escalation” is not attempting it in the first place.
Partly, we make this mistake because we don’t want to make women feel uncomfortable. Sure, if you lunge at a girl you just met and try to make out with her, you’ll probably make her uncomfortable. But you can initiate physicality without the risk of creeping her out.
Instead of jumping right into sexual touch, you can start with something less invasive, and gradually build up to the kind of touch that will turn her on.
Before I give you a step-by-step strategy for using kino escalation to smoothly get sexual with women, it’s important that you know the difference between day game and night game in regards to physicality.
Kino Escalation: Night Game Vs. Day Game
Nightclubs are loud, hectic environments, so it’s not unusual to touch someone you’ve just met there.
For example, you might put your arm over a girl’s shoulder and lean in close to talk to her (so she can hear you over the music).
Or, if a girl is responding positively to you, you might hold her by the waist or even lean in to kiss her within the first few minutes of the conversation.
The same isn’t true when meeting women in a casual daytime environment (a university campus, shopping mall). You’re probably not going to whisper into a girl’s ear or grind on her if you’re in a university library.
If you’re going for a same-day lay, then you should use kino escalation when meeting girls during the day.
However, most guys who do day game aren’t attempting to pull girls straight to their bedroom. Most guys go out to a busy street, collect girls’ numbers, set up dates, and then sleep with girls on those dates.
If you’re new to day game, going for dates is going to be a more effective strategy than going for the same-day lay. And if you’re just going for numbers to set up dates, you don’t need to use any kino escalation when you first meet a girl during the day.
However, you will need to use physical touch on the date with her (obviously), and you’ll be able to use the steps below to sexually escalate with women on dates.
Kino Escalation Step 1: Break The Touch Barrier
The first step of making an interaction with a woman physical should be non-invasive. There are two simple ways to do this:
1. When the girl you’re talking to says something you like, touch her on the shoulder as a way of showing approval.
You shouldn’t leave your hand on her shoulder for more than a few seconds. Touching a girl’s shoulder isn’t particularly intimate, but it’s an effective way to break the touch barrier.
Important to note, you can’t expect a girl to reciprocate this particular type of touch. This is the one instance where you should treat a neutral response the same as a positive response: so long as she doesn’t reject your touch, you can take that as a green light to escalate further.
2. You can hold a girl’s hand when taking her from one place to another
As a general rule, you should lead a girl to different locations. For example, if you meet a girl on the street, you might invite her to get a cup of coffee with you. Or, if you meet a girl at a club, you might invite her to talk in the outside area.
When you invite a girl to do this, you can hold her by the hand to lead her. I used to think hand holding is fairly intimate and some women would reject me when offering my hand. To my surprise, this move almost always gets a positive response.
Holding a girl’s hand is a simple – yet effective – way to introduce physicality in your interaction with a girl.
Kino Escalation Step 2: Building Sexual Tension
In the first step, you’re breaking the touch barrier with a girl in a non-invasive way. Once you’ve done that, the second step of “kino escalation” is to touch a girl in a way that actually turns her on.
1: Hold Her By Her Waist
Putting your arms around a girl’s waist will create powerful sexual tension with a girl.
This technique is particularly useful if you’re nervous to lean in for the kiss. If a girl responds positively when you hold her by her waist, you can be fairly confident that she’ll be receptive to kissing you.
In a nightclub or bar you can use the loudness of the club as an excuse to hold a girl by the waist. If you’ve been talking to a girl for a few minutes, and she was okay with you touching her shoulder or holding her hand, you can gently put your hands on or around her waist to establish some intimacy with her.
Don’t overthink this move, there is no exact right moment to physically escalate. Generally, if a girl likes you and is comfortable with you, she’ll be glad to let you hold her by the waist. As soon as your intuition tells you the girl likes you, go for it.
Your first attempts at holding a girl by her waist might be a bit stilted. Worst case scenario, you’ll make her a bit uncomfortable and she’ll reject your touch. That’s fine, it’s part of the learning process. Once you’ve gotten used to this type of physical escalation, you’ll get consistently positive results with it.
2: Dance with her
Naturally, dancing isn’t something you’ll do in all environments – but it’s a great way to arouse a girl in a nightclub. If you’ve been talking to a girl in a nightclub and she seems to like you, invite her to dance with you.
Simply say something like, “Hey, let’s go to the dancefloor for a minute.” Then, grab her by the hand (don’t wait for her to say yes, assume the yes unless she says no).
Dancing with a girl in a club isn’t complicated. The most important rule is that you don’t half ass it. Don’t dance with three feet of space between you and the girl to leave room for the holy spirit. Dance with her.
Your body should be against hers. You should feel her every movement.
Usually, when I dance with a girl we start by dancing front to front (you can place one of your legs between her legs to, um, increase stimulation). Then, at some point, I’ll turn her around so we can grind.
You don’t have to be a technically skilled dancer to turn a girl on – just follow the beat and let your instincts take over.
If you dance with a girl and it’s awkward, it’s probably not because your a bad dancer, it’s because you’re uncomfortable and that’s making the girl uncomfortable. The solution to this is to keep dancing with girls in clubs until you become confident in your abilities.
3: Make Out With Her
How do you know when to lean in for a kiss? Two things:
-She responded positively to your touch previously. -She holds eye contact with you for more than 3 seconds - (alternatively, she looks at your lips).
9 times out of ten, if the above criteria are met, a girl will respond positively when you lean in to kiss her. In most cases, women won’t hold strong eye contact with you if they don’t want you to make a move – because they know strong eye contact is very invitational.
To be fair, some girls won’t hold strong eye contact when they want you to kiss them. But the vast majority will.
If a girl doesn’t hold strong eye contact with you, but she is receptive to your physicality and seems to be interested in you, she might just be uncomfortable with getting physical in public – lead her somewhere with more privacy, and see if she responds differently.
As for how to actually lean in for the kiss. Just lean in. There’s no magic formula, no special technique – just lean towards her. If she likes you, she’ll probably kiss you back. If she doesn’t, she’ll dodge your kiss. That might be awkward, but honestly, it’s better to get rejected for a kiss than it is to wonder what might have happened if you made a move.
Kino Escalation Step 3: Sex
The final step of “kino escalation” is, of course, sex.
When you’ve got a girl in a bed with you, your first goal is to get her so aroused that she’s practically begging to have you deep inside of her.
There’s a million ways to turn a girl on when she’s in your bed. Here’s a 4-step method I’ve found to be highly effective:
Make out with her. This one’s self-explanatory for the most part.
Kiss her neck. I’ve yet to meet a woman who isn’t aroused by being kissed on the neck. Use this generously.
Brush your hands around her inner thighs. Gradually move inwards until you’re essentially fingering (but outside her pants).
At some point, unbutton her pants, and finger her through her panties. Then, finger her below her panties. Do this generously enough that she becomes overwhelmed with desire.
Once you’ve done all the above steps, she should be ready and excited to have you fuck her, hard.
Wrapping Up Kino Escalation: How To Attract Women With Physical Touch
The purpose of game, in general, is to make a girl receptive to your sexual escalation. The more charming, sexually confident, bold, and calibrated you become, the more likely the girls you meet will be responsive to your touch.
Unfortunately, many guys learn how to make their personalities attractive to women, but they never get physical with the girls they approach.
Why is this?
Because they don’t try.
And, I get it. Touching a girl can be intimidating, she could reject you.
Remember, though, there’s no alternative. If you like a girl, and you don’t physically escalate in some way, you missed an opportunity. The only way to know for sure whether a girl likes you is to make a move.
Using the “escalation ladder” you learned in this article can make this daunting task easier. Instead of just leaning in to kiss a girl, you can build up to it gradually by first touching her shoulder (or holding hand), then holding her by the hips (or dancing with her), and finally, leaning in for the kiss.
If I think back through my life, there have been hundreds of times where my instincts told me a girl liked me, but I hesitated to touch her, and as a result, nothing ever happened with her. I have to wonder what kind of relationships I might have had if I didn’t hesitate so many times to make a move.
Most men miss countless opportunities with women because they never make a real move. Use what you’ve learned in this article to stop missing opportunities, and to start having sexual adventures with beautiful women.
OfficerWade 6y ago
It’s intuition. Trust your intuition. When a girl stares at you that’s what us guys call “asking for it” and you know it when you see it. You’re having an innocent back and forth when the silence breaks but the eye contact remains the same. Plant your face on hers And get r-done.
Nocryingok 6y ago
Nice post. I must say that I disagree with some things:
*Fingering girls. If you are making out in a private place and undressing her already, just ask for a blowjob. Let her put some effort into the prelims as well. Fingering is boring and it's a "service" you're doing just to get her off. This is unnecessary.
*Touching the shoulder is always weird for me. For me, the first kino move is to just get closer to her, touch side of the legs when sitting and then hold hand
*On kissing: if she's not holding eye contact, gently make her look you by pulling her chin with your hand. If she doesn't want to, then don't even go for the kiss. Wait a couple of more minutes and try again. If she doesn't want to, then you should consider some other plans for the night, cause she's not down. Here in my culture, if you don't kiss a girl in the first date, then it's not gonna happen.
Thanks for the writing and reminding us of how important it is to touch
Field_Of_View 6y ago
I don't have time to read the rest right now but this is typical one-sided sensationalism. You're not being rejected in that situation. You are rejecting her, and if you are attracted to her and just didn't have the balls then one could say you are also rejecting yourself in a way.
topkeky 6y ago
Thats an amazing post right there, but how do I start talking with a girl in a night club for example?
red_philosopher 6y ago
Physical Escalation TL;DR: Start small, get more physical if you get positive responses, step back a step if you get a negative response, it's like approaching, just do it and you'll figure it out.
falconpush 6y ago
This kind of vague response doesn't add much to the conversation here.
red_philosopher 6y ago
Glad to have your support.
Your feedback is a little vague, however. Could you please specify how it was vague?
falconpush 6y ago
I believe it was u/IllimitableMan who was talking about a rise in the vague comments akin to If it works, keep it. If it doesn't, change it. Jettison it and how they don't really add to the literature due to simply being to generalized.
While your comment is relatable, and does highlight the core ideas at their base level, for a new comer though, it sounds like Try to win. or Do better than you're currently doing. which is too abstract to nail anything down.
(On the flipside, I read some of your other contributions to the community, and will say that you have created some solid/interesting posts in the last few months)
red_philosopher 6y ago
At least you took my sarcastic humor in stride. And glad to see my posts were useful or interesting.
As far as newcomers go, u/IllimitableMan has a point. However, it really is the format of the RedPill that makes it difficult to digest and utilize. Reading the sidebar is helpful, and I think that sidebar reading is crucial, but even that material is poorly organized and ill-suited to learning.
That and 99% of TRP advice basically amounts to self-actualization: build discipline, do what makes you uncomfortable, take responsibility for your situation and DO something about it.
Once you have that under your belt, the TRP teachings about WHY we must do those things (hypergamy, sexual strategies, feminist empowerment, pareto, etc.) really become powerful tools.
AFuzzyMuffin 6y ago
This is stolen from rsd max isn’t it?
11-Eleven-11 6y ago
This is better than maxs. I thought the same.
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Loboalfa12345 6y ago
Voces esquentam muito com tecnicas, viva, seja natural, simples!
GentleShmebulock 6y ago
This is the type of classic RedPill-Post that I miss nowadays. Great work, OP
Trposh 6y ago
This is a great post because it doesn't just simply state that kino is the key, it also explains how to do it (e.g. touching her shoulder to show approval).
Kino has been the single biggest game changer for me in my quest for success with women.
Another key factor has been sitting at the bar instead of a table or booth on the first date. I was aware of the concept of kino long before I figured out how to do it. I used to think the proper way to date was to get a table and sit across from each other. The problem with this is it's impossible to initiate those early, innocent touches when she's all the way across the table from you. Sitting next to each other at the bar, it's super easy to touch her on the arm, shoulder, or thigh.
The only thing in this post that I'd question is the part about neutral responses. A lack of reciprocal touching might not be a bad thing as long as her posture remains open toward you. For example, on a second date that I went on recently and that ended with one of the best lays of my life, I touched a girl's arm in response to something she said, and she didn't touch me back, but she didn't pull away from me, either, and she stayed angled a little bit toward me in her seat as opposed to facing straight ahead toward the bar. I also noticed she was really animated in her story telling, moving her hands around and getting really into it. I took this as a good sign, and eventually touched her thigh. Again, no direct response, but no pulling away, either. We decided to change locations - I progressively chose places that were closer and closer to my place (I always choose bars within walking distance) - I made sure to get out of my chair ahead of her so I'd have a chance to put my hand on her back as she walked past me, as if I were leading her to the door, and then I was able to lead her in the same way toward our next location. By the time we were walking back to my place, I knew it was in the bag plus it was cold outside, so I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me as we were walking to keep her warm. Back at my place, we parked on the couch, and I threw a blanket over both of us (overtly to keep us warm, but also so I'd have an "excuse" to sit closer to her). We threw on a flick, and I put my arm around her shoulder. After a few minutes of pretending to care about the show we were watching, one of us made a joke and I locked eyes with her for a few seconds. Since she was already sitting right next to me and we were already touching, it was nothing for me to go for the kiss, and then we proceeded to have the most passionate sex I'd had in years.
The point of my story is I'm hoping those who are less experienced with kino can get an idea for how it can progress from light, seemingly "innocent" touching to gradually more intimate and ultimately getting laid.
sinfulken1 6y ago
By "touching her thigh", what do you mean by that? Putting your hand on her thigh or just a brush against it? If you managed to rest your hands on her thigh for a period of time, I am pretty sure its already in the bag without the rest of what you mentioned.
Trposh 6y ago
I mean putting my hand on her thigh. I keep it there for a second or two, and then move it off.
A couple more points of clarification:
A typical kino escalation sequence for me is:
If we're changing venues or going back to my place, then I like to place the palm of my hand on the small of her back like I'm leading her to the door, or if I walk in front of her to hold the door for her, then I'll put my hand on her back once we get outside to guide her in the direction of our next destination.
I hope this helps.
tehwankingwalruses 6y ago
I’d say brush or pat it first. But if you have to lean across her or lean to talk in her ear, then that’s a good time to rest it. I usually say something cheesy like I have a secret and whisper in her ear something stupid while resting my hand there.
peacemakerzzz 6y ago
Rejection is better than regret. Take the opportunity, seize and lay. If there is none to seize, then the opportunity strikes as a lesson, at least for those who try.
p3n1x 6y ago
Always verify, never wonder what could have been. Get control of ones Outcome Dependence.
YesToControversy 6y ago
This is the type of stuff I've subscribed for. Good shit.
tehwankingwalruses 6y ago
One thing I would add, if any of these steps fail to get a positive response, the best thing is to step back and start over working you way back up the ladder. Don't try to force it and don't act any differently if you go for a kiss and get a cheek. Just roll with the punches.
yumyumgivemesome 6y ago
And maintaining frame anytime you get a negative response. You lose when you react to the negative response in any way whatsoever. Acting like your kino attempt plus her response never happened is the easiest way to bypass the negative response. Basically, as you said, "just roll with the punches."
barb9212 6y ago
"And maintaining frame anytime you get a negative response."
This is key.
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inittowinit777 6y ago
Great post OP. I would also recommend people to look up the DeCarlito Escalation Ladder, that shit works like a charm.
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Peter_B_Long 6y ago
Another kino move that I do for step 1 is that I point out something that they're wearing or maybe a tattoo. I'll lightly grab their wrist, hand or arm and ask something about her bracelet or ring that she's wearing. A great way to break the touch barrier.
lol, this made me chuckle.
This is 100% true.
I always want to know if a girl is into me or not on the first date. I'll be nervous but I always think to myself, "do I really want to say goodbye to this chick, and then spend the energy of following up with her, trying to set up another date, and spending my patience waiting to see if maybe I'll find out on the second date?"
NO! I don't. I want to know now. I want to know if I should continue the date for a little longer or go home and do something that isn't wasting my time.
So I escalate to the kiss.
There's been a few times where I didn't go in for the kiss, but I think it was because I got only neutral or negative responses to my kino that I just assessed the date as a no-go, which is fine for me because I like my plates to be fuck yes about me anyways.
zyqkvx 6y ago
There's PUA Youtube videos on Kino. Regardless if you don't like PUA there are lessons to learn about positioning, proximity, and areas. I can't seem to find a kino video by Jordan Peterson; that would be the shit.
11-Eleven-11 6y ago
RsdMax put out a video yesterday but its kind of lame
inittowinit777 6y ago
Why would Jordan Peterson have a video on kino lol
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queenitarie 6y ago
This would work very well with NLP
Mons7er 6y ago
What if it's a coworker who is in a relationship?
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Aghayden 6y ago
then don't use kino until you're in a private location with her (her house, your house, or a hotel)
Mons7er 6y ago
I wish I knew how to get her there. ????
Azaingod 6y ago
Bro, how you only gonna listen to half of red pill, this sounds like you are breaking “don’t shit where you eat” and oneitis. Although I could be wrong if you happen to live on a isolated island that is all female coworkers who are in relationships
BitsAndBobs304 6y ago
you should add a section for us autists explaining more how to do it, e.g. how to initiate holding hands - one way is to open the five fingers presenting the hand to your side (as opposed to trying to grab her hand directly)
AliBarakat 6y ago
This is as useless as PUA. If a girl wants you, she will have sex with you without all the useless effort.