I'm going to write a post related to LTR and how you can keep things running longer and smooth.
The basic key is, focus on improving your self and not the relationship.
There are some things that you need to watch out for before engaging in a relationship with a girl, the most optimal thing to do is spin plates rather than end up staying with one woman and the reason for this is that either way, one day you will fuck up. It doesn't matter how alpha you are, if you get bonded with a girl you will show weakness and you might end up betaising yourself without knowing it. She will leave sooner or later, and start looking for other men.
However, for those of you who want to try ltring a woman, make sure you have spinned enough of them prior to the relationship so you're experienced, and also experience your self in relationship game. Dread should also be present along with your high status, good habits and abundance mentality.
You might meet a girl some time that shows too much interest to you and wants to take care of you, postpone her plans just to meet you and stuff. You might slowly transition to spending more time and dwelve into ltr dynamics, however if done it should be done under your frame and decision.
The catch: DON'T fall into the trap of giving her exclusivity, nor too much time or effort. If you do you will see that in time she'll perceive you of lower status because you showed her that she is above you. Don't give up your mission and own life. Focus on you, not her or what you two have.
It will go smooth, though at some point you might fall into the trap and do all the above "don't do it" things. She will slowly but surely lose attraction. This means less interest, when this happens you will face the usual 'I'm going out with my girlfriends' or 'ladies night tonight' crap. There will be less time for you and her together, more of her alone. Shit will take place/mind games, frame games, less and less attention. You might also notice she's subtly starting to get interest in other guys. At this point, she's already taking steps to losing you and distancing herself. Which leaves us to that you should have already forgotten about her 'exclusivity' and bailed like a ghost, unless you want to find out uglier shit some day and get the usual "I'm sorry, I love you, forgive me" bullshit. Don't play yourself while she plays you. Withdraw attention, trust your gut and you're good to decide from there on.
If a bitch gives you shit, it's better you dump her or she will.
You might find after you have withdrawed from spending much time on her, she will or will not come back to you and seek for your affection. It's up to you wether you'll demote to plate status, keep her around, or stay non-responsive. For me once it's over it's over. A woman that shows good character for six months and once you get into relationship dynamics she shows red flags, is not worth your time and effort. Ditch the bitch and move on.
But that's just my opinion.
Tl;dr : Before you venture ltr dynamics with a woman, test her out, keep spinning, improve your self and life, not tiyr relationship together. If things go wrong, withdraw for your own good.
seki2306 5y ago
Talking from personal experience in my 6 year LTR. ACT LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING SINGLE. By that I don't mean you must date other women, but you should definetely flirt with them on a daily basis, you should stay in the game. Improve yourself every day like you don't have a gf; lift, read, go experience new things, don't ever stop and fall into comfort zone of LTR where you think you can be lazy ugly couch potato who thinks he will be loved by his gf because his LTR is so long. If she sees other women want you because you work so much on yourself she'll fuck you better, love you more and stay with you longer; she'll want to be better for you so you don't leave her for someone better than her. There's true in Rollo Tomassi's words “Women want to be with Men who other women want to fuck, and other men want to be.” Don't ever get comfortable, even after 30 years of marriage. It's a key to good LTR.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
LOL another guy stealing my stuff! She's just your girlfriend, she's not your Siamese twin; ALYAS: Act Like You Are Single
cheers mate
seki2306 5y ago
Although I read your text few weeks ago, I didn't even think about it when writing this. It wasn't even a post but a random comment related to the OP's post. Cut your ego a bit and stop acting like a bitch.
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Cheers mate.
tempolaca 5y ago
I acted like I'm single and I got dumped. Reason: "the relationship has no future, he wont commit".
Of course the real reason is that she's a serial monogamist and my SMV dropped for some reason, but the thing is, if you look like you are too single, (I didn't wanted to live together, etc.) then that's a red flag for your LTR and eventually will get dumped.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
Yeah, the bolded part is the real reason, and the rest of that, I don't know you or her, so I don't know.
Not every woman will go for this, but personally, I'm not interested in putting up with the shit that the others have to offer.
ON the man's side, your "single" life should be appealing enough that she wants to be part of it, and she'll take what she can get. Like I said in my post, I've been living like this with the same woman, a high quality woman, with others on the side that she doesn't want to know about, for years.
Maybe you're better off now, or will be; if not, I hope you can make something good for yourself sometime soon.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Fundamentally you need to avoid trying to make it work. Women detect this mentality and exploit it: your efforts feed her entitlement and devalue you.
The opposite to making it work is willingness to walk away. Women detect this too and like and respect you more for it.
Note that this has to be fundamentally true. It's not something you fake. You simply have to prefer walking away to efforts to make it work.
As OP says: work on yourself, not your relationship.
And don't think you can use this to further BP ideals: "I'll be prepared to walk away, and that will make this relationship work!" No no no, doesn't work like that. You have to be really prepared to walk away, and internally indifferent to the relationship working.
Women are intuitive. She'll figure the truth sooner or later. Make that truth work for you when she does.
wiffofass 5y ago
The thing that fucks me up is the the betaization when you start to bond with a girl. Doesn't matter how much you know. What's the solution? Abundance? Having more partners will stop you from getting oneitis and turning into a beta? I cringe so much when I think about my past relationships... even after TRP. I've only focused on one woman at a time though.
tempolaca 5y ago
In my experience, no. Fucking many girls helped me fucking them all better as I didn't get bored of any, but when my LTR left me, my oneitis went full-force as if I was a 40-year old virgin, go figure.
PM_Me_OK 5y ago
You say one day you will show weakness...but what about explaining this concept to a somewhat smart chick and telling her how things seem to work. She dont even gotta b that smart. Then, thereon if you show weakness you already told her that you know how she thinks, and how things roll and because of that it will be harder for her to discredit you if you do show that weakness. This might be good to explain to her right when you are showing weakness or right after. Its kinda like you beat her to the punch. So she cant just throw a blow to you, because she knows that you already suspect how she, a female, will think. And you can use that too for your own benefit of course...
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vullnet123 5y ago
It I put effort into myself instead of my "relationship" I'm pretty sure we'd still be together(granted I let her break too many boundaries, hopefully I would've wised up). Thankfully her dumping me made me wise up more.
tempolaca 5y ago
This is my problem. I got dumped by my LTR and all the advice I got is "improve yourself".
I'm quite ripped already, and have no problem with money or girls. How can I improve myself? my ex-ltr is now dating a beta AFC that didn't step into a gym in his life and treat her like a queen (maybe that was my mistake, went needy alpha on her ha!)
So, don't have lots of space to improve imho. 5kg more of muscle wont make a difference. Somehow I think all those histories about "I improved and she came back" is about she getting older and her SMV naturally decreasing compared to yours.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Read some body language books. I like Audible for body language books. "What every body is saying" is a good one. Learn how to tease and be playful, and of course backhanded insults, and backhanded compliments. There's always room to improve.
I agree that there's such thing as 'too big'. After a certain point muscle mass is more of a guy thing where guys impress each other and women see it as an imbalance, try-hard. That's my surely-unpopular opinion.
p3n1x 5y ago
Lacking of abundance and being outcome dependent. You assume your physical is the only thing that can be improved?
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
Youve completely ignored the mental side of improvement. Get good at an artistic talent.
weaselingthroughlife 5y ago
What is ‘needy alpha’? Sounds like beta to me.
tempolaca 5y ago
I was quite redpilled when I met her, but at the end of the relationship lost frame and I went jealous on her.
TheRoad15 5y ago
Ok so then you already know how to improve yourself. Improving yourself isn't JUST physical, it's mental. Above, you make it sound like it's only a physical thing
I am having a similar feeling, I used to be more confident and cocky and more exciting. Just doing whatever I wanted and making her come with me. I have noticed less of that and looking to bring it back. I'm by no means ripped and need a lot of physical improvement, but I would say mental game/improvement is vital for an LTR as opposed to your physical improvement (you've already convinced them you're sexy/hot). Of course physical matters, don't let yourself turn back to a slob.
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surely_not_a_robot_ 5y ago
If you think this is all there is to character, you do need to improve yourself.
You don't think you can make any more improvements in the gym so you have peaked in your potential as a person? What kind of thought process is this?
Being jacked at the gym and having money is great to get you one night stands. As you said, you have no problems with girls. These are not the same qualities that equal success in a long term relationship. True confidence (that is, independent of your asthetics), self-security, kindness without being co-dependent, empathy, the ability to be vulnerable (not a beta quality btw...) etc are what give you success in that world.
tempolaca 5y ago
I lack about all of those things, lol. Thanks for your comment, will try to work on that.
surely_not_a_robot_ 5y ago
It's hard to develop those but of course anything is doable. It certainly is worthwhile with many benefits. It took me a long time to learn that because I was raised by very harsh parents. Stoic philo
A good book -- also good for many other reasons -- for it (at least so you can fake it til you make it) is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
surely_not_a_robot_ 5y ago
I don't like this logic. If you're in a LTR you have to constantly keep your game up and can't let yourself be comfortable? Sounds miserable to me. Also, this line of reasoning gives too much power to the woman. Your girlfriend will leave you the minute you're not "alpha" anymore? This is where the alpha/beta black and white dichotomy breaks down.
Be whomever you want to be and the right girl will follow. If you want to have a high SMV girl then yes you need to be up to par. But that doesn't mean high SMV = good relationship (LTRs are different).
WeightsNCheatDates 5y ago
But why wouldn’t a man want to constantly better himself?
surely_not_a_robot_ 5y ago
He should, but not for someone else.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
This is mostly straight out of THE Rational Male. It reads like a book report rather than experience
Polandball_fan 5y ago
I always like a back to the basics post every now and then.
Aesthetic_God__ 5y ago
I haven't read it full. Just some pages tbh.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
/u/Aesthetic_God__
lol man if you're going to rip me off, please at least include some humorous personal stories, or some outrageous misogynist advices (or allusions to Arnold, if you can).
You didn't read it all. Did you read this: ALYAS: Act Like You Are Single: How to LTR about 2 months ago? Same points as your post, but better.
What's this from your title? Relationships are hard work is some cast-iron Blue Pill Bullshit. You don't work on the relationship. You work on yourself. My fucking motto. I've posted and commented with those exact words many times.
From 9 months ago: You don't do things FOR women, you do things TO women
From 1 year ago: Requirement for a successful relationship: You need to be able to make her feel BAD
/u/TheRedPike if you guys would have added some of this shit to the sidebar as recommended by several ECs, then we could accuse this guy of just lifting it and I wouldn't feel so affronted maybe (inb4 a bunch of autists can't see that I'm not being serious; lack of a sense of humor is right near the top of the list of why some guys can't get laid).
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Hipoop69 5y ago
You sound triggered....
Keep your frame man.
FredLetsPlays 5y ago
Don't get yourself worked up because OP got some karma from "your" IP. It's not like he is selling it or something like that
moltenw 5y ago
If people perceive your comment as you being triggered, I'd advise you to not immediately blame the "autists" as you mentioned, but perhaps look at it differently -
If people perceive you as being triggered, then perhaps you should look at how you are presenting the information instead of essentially blaming others for not understanding what you were trying to say.
Aesthetic_God__ 5y ago
Yeah sorry bro, I collected a few pieces here and there and from my current, present experiencing things but I don't hold on to usernames, it's too big of a place here to do so. Credits for the quotes in bold go to you then. Your posts are amazing btw and have taught me much.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
Nah man, you're good; you know I was just messing with you.
I am having a laugh at all the morons who fulfilled my prediction and didn't see that I actually wrote "I'm not being serious" and had to come on here and say triggered triggered triggered
Who cares? lol
TheRedPike 5y ago
Sidebar requests should go to mod mail. While I’m one of the mods that will touch it I don’t add actual content unless rps or crazyhorseinvincible are on board.
whatsthisgarg 5y ago
I wasn't really serious about it, no stake in it at all. RPS, CHI, and HSP all commented on those threads and pointed me for it, if they thought it was sidebar material they would have said so. It was a few other high-profile ECs who just casually mentioned it. It's really of no concern.
Crespius66 5y ago
I think theres still a level of @improvement@ or just "shaping" of the relationship,wether its a LTR or a month or two of good stuff.
I like to tell this chick or the other "Baby,i like hanging out but missing you is just as sexy babe", and it works like a charm for when you dont wanna get too close too quick. NExt time you meet after a week or so it will be really sexy for both, its part of keeping the sexy alive bro. Be missed!
bostezo22 5y ago
What is the problem if you get comfortable (cause is what you want now, for example) and the girl dumps you? You move to the next and that's all.
It's true you have to improve for yourself, but I find a lot of those dynamics a bit tiring.
I would say the only thing you have to keep in mind is that she will fly away one day. And that's all right.
twofones 5y ago
Sure but this is too fatalistic. You still need to account for long term relationships and reproducing.
LTRs are predicated on the man always improving, and maintaining standards on the woman as well.
There’s no such thing as “making it” in a relationship. Which sounds shitty until you realize that’s true even if you’re single.
Also account for your relationship with yourself. A healthy relationship with yourself is tiring too and requires constant growth or learning until you’re dead.
Roosh V’s Game does a good job of describing LTR management (which is mostly yourself). It’s banned from Amazon (twice). Good shit though so I’d look it up.
Giving up on your reproductive prospects and intimacy doesn’t count as a solution just because you have to be more effective these days than before.
As long as you put yourself first and not the relationship you’ll notice women are surprisingly receptive. Which is what the post is trying to say. Conversely if you put the relationship first you’ll find that women are surprisingly tyrannical and resentful.
This is a reproducible as a physics experiment.
self-medicate 5y ago
I don’t think it’s necessarily true that every woman you meet will leave you, but it’s good to be prepared
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self-medicate 5y ago
There's also something to be said about the investment. If you guys were together for a long time and she feels heavily invested in you, chances are she won't leave you for a higher SMV guy because of the foundation she's built with you already.
Dreamcore 5y ago
No, there's nothing to be said about the investment. That's something men see. There is no equity. Women live in the moment.
self-medicate 5y ago
It depends on the woman and how much the couple has been through, but as they get older (40-50+) it plays more of a factor.
Dreamcore 5y ago
In her 40s and 50s, of course, the sexual options of the woman are sharply reduced.
Nonetheless, taking advantage of the incentives provided to end a marriage, there is no shortage of women who do so when they experience a cluster of moments in which they are not "happy".
Andgelyo 5y ago
I know you love her but it’s over now, it doesn’t matter put the phone awayyy....It will be all righttttt lmao been hearing that song lately, it’s fire tho (dean Lewis- be alright) blue pill shit feel me
bostezo22 5y ago
Sorry no english native I dont get your point. What Im saying is no matter the girl, the important is you.
peacemakerzzz 5y ago
Thanks, dude I needed this. I recently met with an old plate of mine whom ignited the swallowing of my red pill. She came back, noticed all the self improvement I have worked on and began acting like she is interested in me again. I almost fell for the trap. She only missed the attention, yet a part of me would want to game her still and see if something would come out of it. However, it's getting in my head and decided to prolong the monk mode.
OfficerWade 5y ago
Wait, so did you open the door for her?
peacemakerzzz 5y ago
Yes I did. With my newfound knowledge and application of game this time I can do better but that’s not to discredit all the other options I still have
CaptainBW 5y ago
Same exact thing here man. TRP experienced firsthand can shake your soul a bit sometimes...but these just aid in its digestion.
Scandinavianredpill 5y ago
I am in a LTR, I am happy - no drama. oh and we also cohabitate.
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My girl keeps me happy and wants my attention, also she has her own career, watches what she eats and couldn't dream of being unfaithful (currently, thats an important thing to remember with women).
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Make yourself the man you want to be and the rest will follow naturally, all other bullshit rules spat out here or by rollo (that is in a relationsship himself mind you) is redunant. There is no quickfix, be a person that others look up to, be a decent person with morals, be a beast in the gym and you will have life on easy mode. More energy, higher test, more attraction from the opposite gender.
DeontologicalSanders 5y ago
Actually, it's better you dump her or she won't. Women don't usually do overt break-ups. They don't like the blame, the accountability. Instead, she'll be more likely to hang around, taking what she can get from you time, attention, and money-wise, while having sex with you less and less. Getting what she wants on her end, while giving up less of what you want. In other words, a bad deal.
We talk a lot about abundance here, mostly from a personality/mentality standpoint. But I would argue that it's more important from a practical standpoint. If you have to try and change her mind because you don't have another option to walk away to, you lose. If you have to argue with her, you lose. If you walk away without other options to capitalize on to replace her, you are losing pussy and gaining nothing. You still lose.
With women, abundance is the only way to win.
OfficerWade 5y ago
It’s called two in the kitty, brother. I don’t care if she’s 12 or 21 but she better be there impending doom on your LTR or your LTR is impending doom on you!
tchower 5y ago
I agree with this, but one criticism I have toward this response is, if you walk away without other options you lose. If a girl that’s a “bad deal” or an “LTR that’s banging other dudes ect.” and you currently do not have a side girl you talk to, I still think it’s winning to ditch the bitch because a girl can mess your life up if you let them. That’s why you focus on yourself so you can not only gain other options, but mostly not compromise your own life, money or time for a bitch that could leave you for any reason or do something crazy.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
Guys should pay attention to this comment. Don't let yourself think you are doing well just because she's not dumping you or cheating on you. You might just be the frog in the pot of water.
zyqkvx 5y ago
Typical under rated comment (TURC?)
moltenw 5y ago
Would an over rated comment be called "ORC" ?
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-Maksim- 5y ago
Great post.
I recently decided to start a LTR. I’ve been with enough girls to know what I want at this point. This is my 3rd LTR, the first two indirectly leading me to all of you fuckers and this sub.
Unicorns don’t exist. However, she’s the first one in a while that I enjoyed my time with and saw some sort of future with. She passes all my tests including telling me flat out on our first date “You don’t have to worry about me being one of those whiny feminist girls either.” I thought that was pretty funny and it turns out the rest of her traits ended up being pretty cool.
She chased me first, so I have that advantage. This may be a better off on askTRP but fuck it. We’re a month in now.
My question is: Is it okay to be vulnerable around her? (Not chasing her or being jealous/micromanaging) For example, when should I tell her about my fucked up father situation and tendency to push everyone away? Lol
Sorry for the ramble, it’s just rare to find a thread where I can ask this in context.
ghosts_of_me 5y ago
Dont ever bring it up, how could that be a good thing? Girls already have a pussy they dont need another. Never ever complain or vent to a girl you want to keep having sex with.
In the first week of my current relationship i had a moment where i was bitching about work and i literally saw her face go from engaged to bored the instant i begun whining. I noticed and stopped, then kept all conversation positive from then on out, which has ensured that she thinks im fully awesome all the time.
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