I recently watched the Red Man Group episode on Monk Mode and whether you should go into Monk Mode or not, and it got me thinking on the whole “You might as well just start living now” premise. It made perfect sense now that I heard it. Hell everyone should have thought about this, but I didn’t, and apparently a lot of other people didn’t considering how popular “going Monk Mode” is in the manosphere. So the question was: Why don’t most people see this from the start, and is there a legitimate reason to go Monk Mode?
In my experience with Monk Mode there are 2 options:
A: you pick a number of months 3-6 where you deliberately ignore women and most social responsibilities and actually are productive in the meantime – No video games, getting shitfaced and so on.
B: Same idea you just fuck up and waste your time while being in isolation at the same time.
What are the results of those 2 scenarios:
Scenario A: your lifts go up, you learn some new things, you’re healthier, you’re even worse with women because Game is a skill. Skills need to be practiced to achieve Mastery and you’ve just spend 3-6 months actively avoiding practice and patting yourself on the back for it!
Scenario B: Same thing you’re just fatter and feel worse about yourself.
Now you can yell at me all you want that The Red Pill is about improving yourself and so on, but “The Red Pill: Discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men.” A 6pack + social inadequacy = inceldom. A huge bank account + social inadequacy = divorce rape/you’re being exploited for your money. Plus you’re supposed to be lifting and working anyway. 3 Months of focusing only on lifting won’t do much for your progress, lifting is a lifetime endeavor and so is working – you don’t just finish them 1 day and never do them again.
So why not start socialising and picking up women now? What’s the appeal of Monk Mode?
The appeal is fear. “I’ll be getting girls just wait till I get my 6pack till then I’m going Monk Mode”,
“I’ll be getting girls, just let me get my business going and they’ll be all over me”. Doesn’t this sound oddly similar to “I’ll be a man if only…”. It sure sounds the same to me.
Where’s the irrational confidence? DJ Khaled has been slaying pussy before he got famous. People sleeping on futons have been slaying pussy left and right, and it wasn’t their fitness or wealth that got the girls – it was their Game.
By going Monk Mode you’re doing a few things that are not only not beneficial but detrimental to your success with women.
A: you’re shutting the door for Irrational Confidence
B: you’re shutting the door down for Narcissism – you’re the main character remember? This is your play and your script, stop being so objective “If I have X money and Z fitness I’ll be getting approximately 2.3 girls a month”
C: you’re delaying the answer to the question “Am I a man”… or at least that’s what you think.
D: and ultimately you don’t believe you can do it, so you put more and more goalposts in your way before you actually go test yourself.
I’d like to hear your opinions on this, guys. Is Monk Mode just another buffer, a very sweet sounding trap or did I fuck it up completely? Until then – go forth and conquer, get yourself out there and fail, learn, win.
Disclaimer: If you’re a player and you need 1 week or 2 of alone time before you continue to bang tons of sluts then this post is not for you obviously.
HardTruths83 5y ago
I'd say it depends on how much of a shit sandwich you are starting out as. When I found TRP, I was divorcing at 34:
However, I've always lifted, even throughout my failed marriage, I changed my diet about 4 months before divorce and cut from 24% BF to 15% and still going down due to diet change.
I was naive to IOI's and TRP theory so TRP Sidebar helped. TRP helped me realize my wife was never going to get the tingles for me again as long as I suppressed my alpha qualities and became more and more beta. After I left and started being more RP, she threw the booty at me like never before, but the damage is done and the relationship needed to end. We get along OK, but we are not really "friends".
I didn't drink like a fish, or use drugs
I already graduated college and had a good career
I'm 6' tall.
TRP just taught me that being masculine and exhibiting alpha qualities is attractive to women, so I left my inner beast come out, rather than being a "nice guy".
Monk mode wasn't really necessary. If anything, I needed more social exposure and to spend more time with friends and in groups.
Changes I made: tightened the diet, ditched online dating (women are garbage, competition is endless), started approaching/gaming IRL, cut WAY back on social media (like scroll a bit, rarely ever post), started hanging with positive male friends more, cut female orbiters that were a negative influence. Started walking with my head up, chest out, smiling at everyone and being more alpha. The change in peoples' treatment of me was amazing.
It all depends on what your starting point its. If you are an obese, uneducated/unskilled guy with no history of slaying, then you need a lot of work. If you are a guy with 80% of his shit together and just want to crack that top 10%, you really don't need monk mode. Just fine tune your life, lift heavier, tighten the diet, get over the fear of rejection and become the prize. Women aren't the enemy. The game is real and TRP is just a strategy guide.
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brotein_synthesis 5y ago
I get what you're saying and complete social isolation is never good for anyone. That's just science and you can look it up. However, sometimes, you might not be where you want to be objectively and that would prevent you from being successful with the the types (=> 7) of girls you want. It's a difficult balance, so make sure you have plan (for your improvement), set a timeframe and stick to it.
TheDiano 5y ago
"You're shutting the door for irrational confidence"
Where do you think confidence comes from? I'm tired of seeing posts from guys with no experience with women talking about how game is more important than self development. Ffs stop putting your entire life's focus on women and you'll get what you want
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Can you even read? There's a reason it's called "Irrational confidence" do you know what the word Irrational means? How much time does it take you to tie your shoes?
TheDiano 5y ago
Here's a reality check for you: there's no such thing as "irrational confidence". All confidence is rooted in something. For you, "irrational confidence" might come from being red pill aware and knowing what works on women. But it isn't irrational.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
well God damn, thank you very much kind sir.
GEN_GOTHMOG 5y ago
Been in monk mode for 3 years. I have two businesses, one of which turns £2M/yr, the other is just getting started but will eventually support my lifestyle on its own.
Patience folks, patience and hard work. Women come later.
MisterDSTP 5y ago
Now that im older and taking life seriously and have done my monk modes i think it IS a buffer...just delaying the inevitable and avoiding rejection.
But in my younger days. Binge drinking, binge fucking, bingeing in general. Partying 3+times a week. And the more popular you are the harder it is to avoid the social debauchert. Especially when you are known as the fun guy.
I dont know if i would have been able to wean off of that lifestyle without jumping straight into monk mode.
I'd do a month here no fap, a month there no sex, a month there no weed, a month here no alcohol.
But what really helped me learn about myself was a year and a half of abstinence. It helped me realize how much my life revolves around pussy.
And even though i wasnt having sex inwas still lusting and putting myself in silly situations that just added stress to my life. But the discipline acquired from that still follows me.
So i think it depends on where you are in life and on TRP journey.
Im currently soft monk for december but combining it with some social/pick up challenges since i pretty much took a break from gaming after a death over the summer.
89TRPTRPTRP 5y ago
I think monk mode will come naturally when we get older. We will simply need less girls, less adventures and we will start living a more quiet and calm life focused on small everyday pleasure. The testosterone goes down, you are satisfied about your experience and you start living a retired life. Probably many people who talk about monk mode are simply talking about this.
sealift 5y ago
As a Marine Engineer (Merchant Marine) I basically go into monk mode at work when I go to sea. Usual tours are 4-6 months. I pack light, read as much as I can, lift heavy, do cardio, and eat as clean as possible. I avoid over-partying/excess drinking in port, (or paying for other things like some guys). It's too valuable of a time to practice game. I stock away cash, as I have no living, food, or vehicle expenses.
When I return, there is a definite acclamation period, where I re-adjust to sleep, notice how different my family and friends are, and basically start at scratch with game/rekindle plates.
Summary, monk mode for me is a gains/loss game, financial and physical gain (though be mindful these really should be long term focuses) with a significant social loss. Positivity is key and it's nice once I get back into the social "norm."
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
you're kinda forced into it. But I guess that makes the chase even better when you're ashore
lux_7 5y ago
You make good points.
As for anything, there are "good ways" of doing something and "not so good ways".
The "healthy way" of going monk mode is that you do NOT stop learning and growing, but grow and learn even more by focusing on something that will ADD to your value.
You go monk mode to work on your side project, to improve your coding skills or to work on your mind.
If you do it well, you come out of monk mode with more skills for life, more earning power or more mental control.
If you go into it out of fear and wasting time then, yes, what you say applies. But that's not the aim of monk mode.
bossmanishere 5y ago
I went into monk mode and came out a millionaire and fucked all kinds of sluts/milfs. If you don't monk mode then you'll never be successful.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
No point in going into monk mode unless you're committed to doing it for a year or more. You will get very little in return unless you commit to it for the long haul. You don't have to not game women during that time. You should. It's a time to practice, but don't devote any time or resources to those women beyond practicing your game. If you start becoming successful in your gaming, then that's a signal you should emerge. But don't expect results in just months. Expect years.
I went into monk mode for 3 years and emerged to fuck all the good looking women in my classes. It took three years to get to that point. Three years to learn and internalize what's wrong with me (psychological/mental aspect), vastly improve my social skills, severely reduce drug and alcohol use, get my financial situation in order, improve my physical fitness, accomplish goals I needed to accomplish, and overall transform myself into something closer to my ideal.
I realized it was time to emerge when--as part of this process I enrolled in classes at a community college to finish my degree--all these good looking women in my classes threw themselves at me and I fucked all of them.
But here's the thing. I never once did it for the chicks. I did it for my family. I did not want to live anymore, but I didn't want to do that to my family. So I had to make a choice, either create a life worth living so my parents don't have to bury/incinerate their child, or live in agony for the rest of my life. My family is not perfect, but they've done a lot for me. The least I can do is not kill myself in return. I devoted my life to the only thing in life that truly makes me happy, which is mountain climbing, and out of that, everything I wanted began to follow in tow.
Don't expect results in months. It takes years. Most of you are so damaged and degenerate, it is impossible to fix in mere months.
zyqkvx 5y ago
It sounds like you aced it. I don't want to disparage that. However, I disagree that there is a 3 year min to Monk Mode. My first monk mode lasted 3 months, the second was 2 months and the third was 3 months. This happened over a course of 2 years. That was only 8 months of the 2 years.
Monk mode 1 (3 months): The first one I went on an all raw food diet and worked out all the time. This was before I learned about Red Pill. I barely knew what I was doing yet was doing it right. I dropped some pounds, made some gainz, and discovered that appetite for junk foods and carbs subsided. I felt like a monk indeed. I watched no TV (I never did anyway), almost no internet. I walked around constantly. Either was was in a produce section trying to make heads or tails of some of the more 'unusual' vegetables like Brussel sprouts, made needles salads with my make shift usuba (monk indeed, laugh), or was at the gym spreading pain evenly over my muscles. eventually i felt diminutive eating only raw vegetables. I was eating some protein but not enough, and stopped. Went back to a normal diet that wasn't as bad as it was before though.
Monk mode 2 (2 months): I went to the gym a bit fattened up again and started doing harder core lifting. Flys, assisted pullups, side lateral stuff. I was working my somewhat scrawny frame seriously to make gainz. The weights weren't very heavy though. I was doing it right, I was getting a good base. This was during a winter. When spring neared, I stopped.
Monk mode 3 (4 months): About 6 months past before I started. Now I'm even more serious. I was in the gym about 4 hours a day. I know I'm going to get critisized for that, but half of it was resting between sets. I would study videos on anatomy, look at many youtube videos on all the various muscles, and heed advince of physical therapists. I studied posture, and the involved muscles. I made half my work out focused on posture muscles. The rest I tryed to get every muscle in my body covered. I went for bigger and bigger weights, but slowly. I did a lot of volume, that is many reps and sets. I tried to work my arms how people work their legs when they go hiking. This was about the same time I found Red Pill and I had a lot to process.
Then 2 years past. I shouldn't have let those 2 years pass, BUT. just those 7 months over 2 years completely changed my life. I was getting mad respect from men and women. Still do even though my posture is one notch less than my peek. Soon I will go in to monk mode 4, which I guestimate will be for 8 months.
I'm very happy with everything I've done because the times I wasn't working out I was studying body language, kino, red pill, so much more. I studied how habits are formed and have original views on habits (afaik). What a great transformation the last 4 years have been.
throwawaythequays 5y ago
Could you give a brief synopsis of your original views on habits? I'm very interested.
LowSpecTea 5y ago
Dude I was speechless when I read your comment because I am literally in year 1.5 of this process doing very similar things to you and everything you said could not be more right. I am literally doing this for my family as well, I'm an only child and coming from poverty I knew my parents deserved better than some weak bastard.
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I'm at the point where my fitness, talking to girls/very uncommitted one night dates as a part of my work/school but no serious effort, internalizing positive thinking, and other personal goals are really coming together. Not perfect but really coming together.
The last house I need to sort out is Finances & possibly social life. The first one is the one I dread the most., cause its the hardest to do but I will face that battle. Thankfully with regards to social life, I have 1-2 rock solid friends who never left me even when I deliberately pushed everyone away. These guys stuck with me even through all that and respected that I needed the space- I've known them both for over a decade now and our bond after all this is stronger than steel.
Meeting new people has never been a challenge, because honestly 50% of it is simply showing up and having a smile on your face and the other 50% is being easy to talk to/not being a total shmuck. Monk mode taught me that.
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I damn well expect this to take at least another 6 months if everything goes smooth, which it never does so probably pushing 2.5 if we factor in some lag time.
What I think many people don't understand is monk mode for the people who truly need it is like steering an ocean tanker. When you steer a really big ship you can't make a sharp u-turn and immediately start going 50 knots in the other direction. Like an ocean barge, it takes considerable forethought and setting up the maneuver prior to actually making it and speeding off to where you want to go.
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To all the others who might read this- Plan for 2 years, that's the baseline I've seen most people make a complete 180 radical shift in their lives. We are talking about changing the direction of your LIFE. You know that thing that you probably have at least a good 50 years or more left to live....
I’m not talking about getting a little shredded and dressing nicer - you can do the stuff everyone prescribes in 6 months for the super committed. I’m talking about acquiring a vision , direction , and plan for life. We all recognize the surface level will come and can come very quickly - but it’s the self awareness of who you really are that can take years to acquire.
Rome was not built in a day. And neither will you.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
And if you fail, the captain goes down with the ship. It's a matter of life or death. Correct your course or sink with the ship.
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BillyRedRocks 5y ago
What you're describing doesn't really seem like monk mode. You were doing everything you were supposed to and you were not isolating yourself on purpose - that's exactly the point of the post - Start living now and practice everything. Social skills don't come overnight.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
I was isolated. I ceased all communication with my friends and acquaintances, except at work. I deleted everyone's phone number, deleted my facebook account, and snapchat. I packed up and moved to another city without even telling anybody. I sold all my possessions, except my truck, which I lived in for 6 months in a Wal-Mart parking lot, or at parks, or camping in the woods. I started all over again. I was totally isolated without a single friend. I only ate one small meal a day and scavenged/hunted for additional caloric intake. I spent every waking moment reading, studying, exercising, or working. The only social interaction I had was at work out of necessity.
ArdAtak 5y ago
Respect.
In retrospect, do you feel that such EXTREME measures were the ONLY way to get to your goals? Would you advise your son to do the same thing? Or pass on your wisdom to him in order to SPARE him the same suffering?
NohoTwoPointOh 5y ago
Monk? Shit, man. That's Abbot-level.
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BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Damn, that takes massive balls!
Granite_Pill 5y ago
You'd be amazed at what you're capable of in a life or death situation.
classicverdant 5y ago
Maybe write a detailed report on your experiences?
Granite_Pill 5y ago
I've been working on a piece because I think my story is really inspirational and educational, but I can only write for like 10 mintues a day and then I lose interest. But one of my new years resolutions for next year is get off reddit completely so I probably won't ever finish it in time to post it.
burnyr 5y ago
How did you make that leap from "I'll just wait til my parents die so I can off myself" to actually doing shit with your life and enjoying it? Each time I try to put work into something I just give up and then I'm left with even less motivation to do anything. At this point I can see myself just playing vidja games and being a basement dweller just long enough to outlive my parents then i'll be able to do it.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
Once I devoted myself to my one true passion in life, it gave me sense of purpose and happiness I haven't had since I was a child. My entire life is geared towards this. Well-adjusted people have something to look forward to. I used to wake up and feel disappointed I didn't die in my sleep. Now I wake up and feel relieved I get to live another day. I never understood what it meant to be grateful until recently.
I tried doing so many things, pursuing different things. They were all the wrong things. When I found what I really wanted to do, it was easy. It wasn't work. I mean, it is hard work climb mountains, but I love doing that more than anything else. I am willing to sacrifice everything and will do anything to be able to do it. That's how much I love it and I will push myself to the extreme to do what it takes to summit the next peak.
But I was only able to discover that by going out and trying new things, doing lots of different things, living a full life, trying to have fun. If you don't go out there and experience life, you're not going to find out what your passions are.
Further more, even if I outlive my parents, I still have siblings. What about them? It is my family duty to stay alive. Once my father dies, I will be the patriarch of the family. It's not about me anymore. I had to grow the fuck up. People depend on me. I can't just give up and quit.
Stop being a pussy and figure out what you want to do in life and pursue it. Everything will fall into place. Life is all about suffering. You're always going to be miserable somehow. You just gotta suck it up and deal with it. Stop playing video games. Stop watching TV. Stop going on social media. Delete facebook.
burnyr 5y ago
Thanks, I'll do my best to actually try and look for new stuff to do instead of degenerating back into gym-vidja games-weed-repeat. I don't think I'll ever actually stop playing video games though, as that's something I truly enjoy. Maybe as much as you like mountain climbing. My biggest issue with gaming however is that I get no value from the hours I put into it.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
Don't get me wrong. I love to play vidya too. I used to play for hours and hours and hours. I was even in a clan in Battlefield and CoD. I have nothing to show for that. It was all a massive waste of time. And I did it to escape from real life. I had to give it up. I quit playing video games a long time ago though. Like back in 2011-2012 or so. BEFORE gamergate. Games are expensive. The game systems are expensive. There's no return on investment.
JeanetteAlvarez 5y ago
You're seeing monk mode from a beta provider's mindset, or at least you're assuming other people are. You have a really shallow view of it. To me, monk mode should be about making you into a man. It's not about superficial bullshit like getting abs and money; that's an obsession that is rooted in insecurity. It's the mental strength that comes from pushing yourself in the gym and being disciplined enough to be focused on your purpose that is key. It's your strength of character that gives you irrational confidence and makes you think women are lucky to be with you.
My version of monk mode isn't isolation. Socializing with men is highly encouraged. Iron sharpens iron. It's a good time to join a martial arts gym.
Not sure where this comes from. Women have absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you're a man.
The hero's journey is an archetype that has existed for millennia, and it's a great rite of passage. That's what monk mode could be if done correctly. Many boys have spent their entire lives putting women on pedestals. They do everything in an effort to increase their chance with women. They're momma's boys still living with their parents. Mentally distancing themselves from all of this bullshit for at least a few months is critical to ascending into manhood.
Mentally distancing yourself from women is just the start. That alone will not build your strength of character. You need to fucking suffer. Here's my prescription:
5 minute cold showers at lowest temperature. Even in the winter, pussy.
Push yourself every set at the gym. Stop just going through the motions.
No comforting drugs. Definitely no cannabis. Mind-expanding drugs like LSD or shrooms might be acceptable (but very infrequently).
Join a martial arts gym
Read Man's Search for Meaning. Read The Obstacle Is The Way (the audiobook sucks).
No porn, no pursuing women. Mentally distance yourself from other women in your life as well.
Move out of your mom's basement and live on your own (if applicable)
Do this for 2-3 months. If you've never done anything like this, you'll feel like you're lost in the wilderness. It'll be stressful, but you will get stronger, guaranteed.
Granite_Pill 5y ago
Taking ayahuasca changed my whole life. Seriously. That was the catalyst.
MisterDSTP 5y ago
Yeah can you elab? did you retreat?
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
Care to elaborate? I’m gearing up to get more aggressive with the psychedelics here soon.
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BillyRedRocks 5y ago
You're idealising Monk Mode into something it's not. This is a sub for sexual strategy - women are necessary for sexual strategy.
Being a man lol. I attached a link in my post, read it then tell me sex has nothing to do with being a man and cold showers do.
No idea how not interracting with women is supposed to make you better with them, you can't put them off the pedestal of you don't interract with them - the best you're gonna get is a madonna/whore complex which is not a good idea. You need experiences with women to accpet them as they are.
JeanetteAlvarez 5y ago
I don't think there's really a strict definition of it. I've seen the term used in many different ways. Hopefully people will read what I wrote and the idea of "monk mode" will change to be something very beneficial.
TRP changed how I view everything to do with masculinity, not just sexual strategy. TRP showed me how demasculating our culture is, which allowed me to distance myself from those aspects of our culture. This affected just about everything in my life.
I might read it later, but tying your manhood to how women treat you is just a recipe for seeking approval from them. Find your masculinity outside of sex and women, and it'll be rock solid.
The fact that this is your single point of focus just proves to me that you need to go monk mode. In my post I didn't really say anything about it making you better with women. That's just a side effect of becoming the strongest version of yourself.
You can have all of the game you want, but if you're actually a weak boy on the inside, you will always have to put up a facade. A boy having sex with more girls will not make him a man. More likely, it'll keep him dependent on women for approval.
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Crimson_Medicinal 5y ago
I believe monk mode will be beneficial for some and a hindrance for others. I would say 80% of guys in “monk mode” are fucking off or detoxing from self-induced social pressure.
I personally would recommend short dedicated periods of time of isolation with a mission rather than casting yourself out of your local social ecosystem if you’re looking for transcendental benefits.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
But... you're supposed to be doing all those things anyway - why the self imposed isolation?
EL_Miore 5y ago
Caterpillars turn into butterflies through the metamorphosis of a cocoon.
zyqkvx 5y ago
You are thinking about monk mode completely wrong. Monk mode is about foregoing non-recipical attention towards women caused by low value so you can gain the value needed to attract women (opposed to chasing them). It's about eliminating distractions and becoming mindful about your self-neglections, weather that be lacking a basic masculine build (lift), diet, switching out that bowl haircut instead of going 10 more years. It's also about range. You don't always have to be on r_theredpill, or carry your cellphone, or avoid the produce area. For me it's also about mindfully reshaping habits. Everything you do is either re-enforcing or starting a new habit. Very powerful stuff if you are doing the right behaviors.
I'm under the impression you never truely cut enough stuff out of your life to know what it is, no offense intended, just inadvertently delivered, it's called criticism.
[deleted] 5y ago
You make a very good point here, and one I always think about when thinking monk mode and doing it etc. For most people, it's an ego protection mechanism, including me, which is why I never do it. It's a way to delay the problem these people have with women rather than face them.
However, the way you're approaching this is there is no legitimate way or reason to do Monk Mode, and that's not true. Life is most sustainably pleasurable when lived at balance. Doing too much of one thing while ignoring otherwise is a recipe for sadness. Monk mode should not be a precondition to good game. Game is game. However, if you live an imbalanced life, even with too much focus on the gym or girls or anything else, your life will suffer. Monk Mode is a way to re-assess your priorities, re-allocate your time and have a better life through greater balance.
jonesjsjones 5y ago
In my case, I was raised in a narcissist family so the isolation of the monk mode will help me to find myself and create a strong persona, a thing that I don't have unfortunately. So yeah, for some ppl will work great
MisterDSTP 5y ago
Bro being raised by a narcissist is a fucking blow. Its hard for people to understand. Whats normal to them we have to learn.
I was the youngest child of like 8 years so i lived a lot of my life as an only child with lots of isolation. Its normal to me in a way. I have to fight really hard to break that pattern.
NohoTwoPointOh 5y ago
Legend has it that the greatest swordsman in Japan became reborn with isolation. His wasn't so self-imposed, but same concept. Isolation breeds introspection.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Legend + swordmanship. This is TRP - real life + sexual strategy. I get the point but I'm not sure it applies.
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kiwifx 5y ago
Some people need the space away from everything to get their head straight - myself included. You sound like someone who thrives with people around him.
The main point of your post could possibly come down to an introverted VS extroverted approach to self improvement.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
You can't improve your game without social interactions. You cant do social interactions if you're isolated. YOu have to be able to turn the introversion on and off but Isolation does not help with that
kiwifx 5y ago
Game isn't what you're working on in Monk Mode, for the most part. Sure, you can work on that in tandem with all the other self improvement, but Monk Mode is about making yourself, as LiveAFTSOV said in his Monk Mode video, a person worth giving a fuck about. It's about building a proper foundation as a man.
The point you're trying to make is against people staying in monk mode as a self-defeating excuse not to tackle their lack of social intelligence in due time. That's fine. But monk mode is there for a good reason. Game is a waste of time if it's not a tool of a strong, well built man. That's just putting the pursuit of women above more important things in your life, which is what separates TRP from PUA communities.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Once again DJ Khaled fucked before he was famous. All sorts of people that you wouldn't classify as strong or well build fuck women, so no game is not only for the top % of males. Everyone should learn game as soon and fast as possible. Here's a secret, nobody gives a fuck about men. Not before monk mode, not after monk mode. People care about value - you should be building value all the time, not just in monk mode, so instead of isolating yourself to build some value you can NOT isolate yourself and build your game alongside everything else (social value).
kiwifx 5y ago
You're infallibly correct. Everybody will now fall in line with your wishes immediately, and all TRP posts will be updates by original posters to reflect this.
MisterDSTP 5y ago
Yooo!! Lol this cracked me up.
OP was onto something in the OG post but after seeijg his replies he sounds young as hell.
Ive personally gotten the MOST sexual attention from women while in monk mode. And thats by farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Like it made me realize how much pussy i was throwing away or over looking because i was always to externally focused to be present and receive.
TheRedPillMonkey 5y ago
You don't know what monk mode is. It's not about ignoring the world to focus on yourself. It's about reprioritizing the world to focus on yourself.
Monk mode is like studying for an exam or a large test like the bar exam, SAT, or something else. You don't really give anything up, you just focus more on that one thing for awhile. It may mean less nights out, less time playing video games, etc.. but less does not mean none. It also means developing new habits and priorities for your life going forward, but you can't just assume to know what those should be. You have to experiment, trial and error, and figure it out.
Saying "monk mode is stupid when you should just live your life" is like saying studying for exams is stupid when you could just take the test. Sure, if you already knew the material why not just take the exam? But if you are considering monk mode you know you have a problem and therefore don't know the material, so why wouldn't you want to study on how to be a better you for the rest of your life?
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
https://illimitablemen.com/2014/04/13/monk-mode/
TheRedPillMonkey 5y ago
Exactly. Mitigating and completely giving up are 2 separate things. Notice how it says these distractions are good for blowing off steam, but not good as "what you do".
You don't give things up, you reprioritize.
Da_RectumWrecker 5y ago
You're getting the reason for monk mode wrong. Monk mode is set up to help with motivation. If a guy who is out of shape tries to pick up women while he is simultaneously working out, it might be easy for him to rationalize that lifting just isnt working out for him. Monk mode is there so you can actually see the night and day difference between your shit life pre-TRP and how good it's going to get with some discipline. Monk mode is a tool that most people will have to use to trick their mind into staying on the path.
If monk mode is needed it means that there are some serious problems in your life that you need to address first before worrying about anything else. Monk mode is the shortest path to correcting those problems, therefore it minimizes the suffering needed to get through them.
Three years ago I lost my father, my mother got a rare cancer three months later, and my fiance left me while she was in a dangerous surgery. During that time my already present depression got worse. I had been already 5 years removed from the gym, and I gained even more weight. My performance at my job suffered, so I got laid off. It was right then where I discovered TRP. I already had game because I was a PUA before I got engaged. I entered monk mode. I cut out drinking, lifted like crazy, fixed my diet, and stayed to myself. I worked on me for 8 months. I lost 30 pounds. When I came out of monk mode on Halloween weekend, I banged two girls in two days and made out with a 3rd. My game was still there and being in reasonable shape made it a lot easier. I kept lifting but didnt hold myself to such rigid standards. I still kept improving and watched my game soar to new heights. Reaching new heights pushed me to improve myself more.
Monk mode is a very useful tool and if you have problems in your life that require drastic measures to correct then this is your tool.
As for your question about guys slaying while sleeping on a futon or being fat, remember that they get a tiny bit of pussy DESPITE what is holding them back. If they didnt have those disadvantages how much pussy do you think they would be getting then? Dont aspire to be some dude who has problems but doesn't address them because they are content with what little bit they are getting now. That's a mental trap that leads to resting on your laurels. If you aren't actively improving yourself then time is slowly and constantly working to make you more dull.
ArdAtak 5y ago
I'm too dang horny to go into Monk mode and stay focused. Eventually sex will saturate my thoughts and I'll be ready to explode. A good fuck sesh gives me peace and a good nights sleep and those 2 things are pivotal to my health and sanity. So I'm not gonna mess with them.
Dark_Lord_A 5y ago
Isn't that the entire point? A large number of us were the geeks in high school that never, or rarely got any female interaction. So Monk Mode allows us to build actual self-confidence before we start trying to game women, rather than allow us to attempt to game and suffer through countless rejections without the benefit of a mental shield to keep the rejections from being too hurtful. Personally, as a guy who struggles from extremely low self esteem and social anxiety, I'd rather be rejected while I'm capable of shrugging off the negative feelings, rather than go rushing in completely unprepared only to then have to fight against the urge to run back to my safe space with my tail between my legs.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Looking better won't make rejections feel better. Only more rejections can get you over that feeling and approach anxiety.
Dark_Lord_A 5y ago
If you're normal maybe. But for someone like me, who panics at being in public for too long, and who already possesses abysmally low self esteem, I'd say it would be better to spend time becoming confident in one's own skin before interacting with women. If I don't feel ashamed of myself for no reason, rejection can't hurt me. If I still feel like a pathetic failure, being rejected over and over is just going to make the situation worse.
whiskytango74 5y ago
every sport has an off season, monk mode.
mette13 5y ago
In my opinion, monk mode is when I become bored of gaming and girls and reshift all of my focus onto my goals and needs. With the way some of the men around here are throwing around monk mode, its starting to sound like a safe place or something after bad times.
"I got rejected this entire week, guess I'll go monk mode." Heard that quite a few times.
Skyhawk_And_Skyhead 5y ago
I think monk mode is just too extreme. Sometimes it is necessary to decompress. Sometimes you have a project that needs undivided attention and women get pushed far down the priorities list. I'm in a situation now where I need to make as much money as I can before the end of December, so I havent been going out and gaming women. But if I run into a girl while running errands and she wants to fuck... I'm not going to say no.
TempleOfIron 5y ago
Which is absolutely imperative at the end of a break up. Monk mode resets you like a detox from female nature. Sometimes you need to enjoy your own company and develop yourself instead of solely chasing your biological impulses.
So in my 4 months of monk mode earlier this year, I went from £1 to £90,000. I had the skillset to do so before but chasing women and wasting my money on a girl who lived 4 hours away ensured that I didn't excel that skillset. Chasing pussy will demotivate you. You will get comfortable. I have seen it too many times and experienced it to know that. Which is why going monk temporarily is absolutely vital to ground yourself and bring yourself to center. To build core values. To build yourself.
I've been both overweight and had missing teeth. I still got laid but yeah people really judge you and treat you like dirt. But it makes you a fucking powerful person. Because if you are aiming to change that you are the underdog. And nothing is more inspirational than an underdog accomplishing is goal. That journey is infectious.
You know the face of an ex is priceless when they see you lose weight and have perfect teeth (cost a ton but worth it.) People react to you differently. But the important lesson from going MGTOW is that you don't need to focus on the approval of others. The rat race so to say. When I lost my weight and spent a ton of money fixing my teeth, my life changed and I had women actually approaching me. And me? I went MGTOW at the brink of a failed relationship. I was so tired of women and I needed to reset. Female nature is solipsistic but it's so fucking tiring for us men. Esp in a gynocentric society that constantly forces down our throats feminist ideology and perpetuates women as victims.
I would argue the opposite. It's being able to let go of your biological imperative. It's saying. "Fuck chasing women. I'm going to develop myself." You could argue, "Why not both?" But again it's neccesary to focus on yourself because women extract from you whether you are chad or beta bucks. Even chad has to expend his energy and time with the bullchit inane pointless messages and drama that women bring. Sometimes, it's nice to reset. Think of Monk Mode as a form of minimalist approach to life. Meditation. And guess what? It scares the shit out of men. Because they think they can't be men without fulfilling their biological imperative. Why do you think 'incel' is the most overused insult to shame men? Because society places importance on men chasing women and pedestalising them. So to go Monk Mode is a very brave choice for a man because at the core he's going against all the conditioning that society perpetuates and his going to get shamed for it. And by god we do get shamed for it.
Because 'slaying pussy' is a fool's errand. It's not the be'all'end'all it's just fulfilling your biological imperative. But men are much more capable than their primitive nature to be greater. And the most greatest creations a man has made in this world have not been remotely involved with chasing pussy. It's the PUA fallacy I see. When you place chasing pussy as the most important thing in your life, you neglect building yourself as a person who can live alone. Which is important because solitude is what inspires men and gives them their greatest ability to succeed in life. Women are a distraction. They are matter. They are the material. And as the price of 'pussy' goes up so does the thirst. To walk away from that gives you incredible power. The man that can't be bought.
Again a worldview of chasing pussy. How is that any different than a simp pedestalising women? All simps chase for the approval and success of being with a woman. Whilst the price of pussy goes up due to this undeniable thirst. And what happens? Men accept shitty deals. Which is even apparent on asktrp.
In Conclusion:
I'm MGTOW and I do sleep with women. But Monk mode was absolutely vital to reset the simp within me. It kills the thirst which perpetuates that women are the prize. In a gynocentric society you sometimes just need to get away from the overwhelming virtue signaling for women. And it's absolutely imperative to realise your worth is much greater than your biological imperative. Women are more attuned to their primitive nature. But men? We get inspired in moments of solitude. And we've built amazing and wonderful creations.
Men generally build their identity around the approval of women. And they base their entire worth and success on female approval. Is that really living life on your terms? Is that building your legacy? I think men are greater than that. We've shown throughout history we are much greater than our primitive nature.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
This is The Red Pill. We are here to discuss how to better enjoy women. I have no idea how you sleep with women and think they are nothing more than drama and bs. The post is not about pedestalising women it's about not being a recluse and patting yourself on the back for it. The post is for The Red Pill not MGTOW
TempleOfIron 5y ago
You brought up Monk Mode and your case against it. Your argument was because "but mahhhh pedestalised vagina!"
Funny how you assume MGTOW is about being recluse and patting yourself on the back. Funny how you think Red Pill is not related to MGTOW. They relate much more than you think.
Your post reads like an autist who craves pussy and has no other meaning in life but to go out and get laid. "But muuu post is for RED PILLSS NOT MGTOW" Just lmao. You clearly didn't do Monk mode because during that time you were thirsty as fuck for pussy.
We keep offering you guys a float and you keep wanting to drown.
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NormalAndy 5y ago
I welcome the shit tests so I choose hard mode.
throwabcdaway3 5y ago
There a thing for me that i am really better some months than other. Like sometimes i just sjck every time i talk to a girl.. and if i am super horny i am magically better a what i do
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Rollo had a post about that. Can't remember the name but it was about girls wanting a loaded weapon - don't fap before dates and you'll be better.
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TheImpossible1 5y ago
Isn't monk mode just avoiding women because of the risk?
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Not because of the risks. To improve yourself and to self actualise
TheImpossible1 5y ago
Ah, on MGTOW we use it to describe avoiding women at all costs for our safety.
Personally I improve myself not because of women, but for my own image. I just lurk here for the self improvement ideas mainly.
RolandTheDickslinger 5y ago
Monk mode is like people who don’t workout because they’re trying to lose weight.
fidelred01 5y ago
Couldn’t have said it any better myself. Group them with the people who don’t work out because ‘they don’t want to get buff, just lean’, as if it were that easy.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
Monk mode is BS. Just work hard, find time to game girls (if its something time consuming like medicine then go out 1-2/month) and lift. That way you incorporate practice with girls while doing shit to improve
Camjd10 5y ago
I think your point is exactly right, that everyone, should be improving anyway so what is the purpose of monk mode. I've never done it but it sounds like just the categorization of a period solely focused on improving oneself might make it easier for someone to do just that. I also agree that it can be used as an excuse for social isolation, but if the short-term goal is for them to buff their own stats and they need to encourage it with something like monk mode, go for it- as long as it doesn't turn into justification for long-term isolation.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
I don't get monk mode. I have to ejaculate, biologically. So it's either find a woman or wack off every day. If I wack off every day that's bad too though. So I guess I'm supposed to give up orgasms and wait for the wet dreams to start.
think_9090909 5y ago
You don't have to ejaculate everyday, you just want to. You'll be fine if you don't ejaculate for a month. Trust me.
SelfUnmadeMan 5y ago
You are absolutely correct that Monk Mode can be a trap if you are not careful.
But it does not necessarily have to be so. If you use your Monk Mode time to focus on self-improvement and elevating your fundamentals, it can lead you to better outcomes on the other side. For truly checked-out, slovenly dudes it can be a necessary first step to focus inwardly and find something like self-respect before stepping up to the plate.
Just remember--if you are using Monk Mode to avoid unpleasant things for too long, then you are in danger of internalizing that avoidance as a healthy state. There is only so much you can accomplish within the space of Monk Mode anyway. So, once you have depression, hygiene, lifting, and a respectable wardrobe taken care of, I think it's time to exit Monk Mode.
You want to limit your time in Monk Mode to finding your feet--after that, it's time to walk.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
You're supposed to be improving all the time, not just in monk mode. Why enter in the first place if the only resutls will be your social skills suffering - you're supposed to be getting everything else in order all the time.
Omnibrad 5y ago
So your conclusion is that if I go Monk Mode for a few months then I'll forget that marriage is a shit deal? That I'll forget how to take care of my money? Really?
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Yup, that's exactly my point! Congratulations on your reading comprehension.
Omnibrad 5y ago
Thanks. I had completely lost the skill of reading comprehension since I took a couple months off reading books. I totally understand your point now.
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kril89 5y ago
Everyone's version of monk mode is different. Mine is the time I spent trying to online date or whatever else fucking off I was doing is now spent in the gym. I don't avoid women but I also don't seek them out either. My game has never really been my issue it's more deep rooted in feelings of in inadequacy. Which probably stems from not really having any real goals or pursuits in life. Now that i'm a "monk mode" i'm doing everything in my power to achieve my goals of being physical stronger and getting my education credits to get licensed in my career. And getting off online dating was probably the best thing I did because my interactions with woman have definitely improved. I don't know how or why but they just have.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Could it be because you're interacting with them IRL now? Online dating is a buffer usually and now that you've overcome that you can start gaming women IRL
kril89 5y ago
I think it's more of a outcome independence. Like I'm not trying so I'm just more natural and don't get into my own head. Online dating around me is a odd thing. I live in a small town so pretty much everyone already knows each other and whether you click or not. So online dating kinda of expands your reach a little bit.
Psychoptic 5y ago
The post three weeks ago called False Stimuli hit on an important point that online dating gives the illusion of choice of all these girls, they're laid out right in front of you , smiling, ready to be picked out... until they don't match back. There's no avoiding a blow to your confidence when this happens, even if those girls might actually be receptive to you in real life (due to well-documented reasons on here about IRL approach being far more attractive)
I also noticed more outcome independence when I stopped using it. If you get rejected in real life it may hurt your confidence too but it's not happening 35 times a day, which is basically exactly what Tinder is able to simulate
bookofcookies 5y ago
I think the golden rule of TRP should be:
Get your own place in a big city
The rest is bonus improvement from there on. If you staying with yo mum, it's a no go brother.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Not everyone likes big cities. Some ppl want to live innawoods
bookofcookies 5y ago
I am not against it. Again, the problem with most people is that they live in the suburb with their parents. You won't be having no social progress there. Same old people, same old locales. It's not dynamic.
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magx01 5y ago
There's also option C which is what ended up happening with me: You "go monk" for a planned 6-12 months and end up there for six YEARS because along the way you realize you actually......prefer life this way. By far. Your mentality and stress levels and amount of drama (zero), emotional control, all of it. All better. A lot better. And you don't even really miss interacting with females in that way. You live like you're 10 years old but with adult freedoms and money.
Of course, this would only happen to a certain subset of people. First of all you need hobbies (I have several- I play drums, play hockey, hike, work out, play tennis, etc) otherwise you'd go insane (where would you put your focus) and some social time with other guys (I have that at least once a week). You need a high threshold for loneliness (or even better, be like me and be seemingly immune to it/never feel it). Being an introvert helps (I expel most of my introversion 'energy' at work). A lower than average sex drive is probably a must (if I am with a female it's a raging inferno; if I am away from them it's a paltry little ash pile).
I know I'm a weirdo and this wouldn't work for most of you guys. Just throwing it out there as it was my experience and so it is possible.
potentialz 5y ago
I used to think like this.
But you are missing out on a fundamental human experience of interacting with women for a fulfilled life. The common denominator for every living organism is to procreate and pass down their DNA. Who is to say when you're 70 years old, you'll look back and think you made a great decision with no partner or children to take care of you?
Although we are conscious beings, we're governed by nature's laws and I wouldn't advise your route for 99% of the male population. I'm harboring a guess that your low sex drive may stem from masturbating and watching porn. I would also do some introspection to consider if you're avoiding women due to feelings of inadequacy.
But hey, if you're feeling happy, proud of where you are, and considered where your long-term actions will lead to, more power to you.
magx01 5y ago
I have a ten year old daughter.
potentialz 5y ago
Touche. Maybe I'll end up having a similar path to yours. I definitely resonate with what your lifestyle.
finizzle 5y ago
I guess I have to agree with you on this one, before I even found TRP I did my own sort of "monk mode" only to re-enter the scene 4-5 months later with no extra game. It seems like an attractive excuse to avoid being who you should be in the present.
Cainagain 5y ago
I'm guilty of this on so many occasions... I realised recently thankfully its about being the person you want to be every moment.
SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY 5y ago
It’s bad to avoid women purposefully, but the idea to going monk mode is probably that the guy had unhealthy social habits that weren’t working and he is doing it for the hard break. Some people need that sober time to reflect on what went wrong and correct the root, not the symptoms.
I never heard of monk mode, but that’s roughly what I’ve been doing for the last year or so. For about a year I was freaking out constantly worried about girls on dating apps who were worthless, trying to find more and worried about fucking up with each one. My friends all stopped wanting to go out on the weekends for one reason or another (got a girlfriend, bought a car and have no money, etc). Then I decided to start doing what I wanted to do and fuck everyone else. Since then I have had a couple flings (so it’s not pure monk mode) but I basically treat them as side interests and don’t pursue them. I don’t rearrange my life for women. As expected, ironically my success went up vs the amount of effort I put in. And my success in my personal life has went up immensely.
But also, I’m not out at bars clocking the whole scene in the city, like I think I probably could be doing. There are a couple tasks I’m still finishing up before I’ve freed up the time to start socializing more in town. I know “I’m not gonna live forever” but that’s just feminine centric mentality that somehow I’m going to turn gross in 2 years, like a girl my age will. Except we know that’s not going to happen. I will be better off going out later than I will today, so I’d rather do what I really want to do for my own improvement today.
Bottom line: anything you do that puts pussy as your core motivator, makes you less of a man. Because if pussy is your core motivator, by definition you place a lot of value on it, and by definition you must think it’s not in abundance. Therefore, you are less of a man. Monk mode is good to a point, but if you are purposefully turning down social opportunities you absolutely have time for just for the denial of pussy to yourself, you are just as bad as the guys who feel they need to be at a bar approaching women every hour of every night. The main motivation for me is me. I want to be the best I can be. I want to see videos of myself and say “holy shit, I’m fucking awesome.” Even if I had a 10/10 smoke show millionaire wife at my age, I would basically just be a beta bitch and never enjoy my existence. So why should I be out spending 80% of my time trying to achieve that? I’ll keep my female interaction where I want it and let them chase me for now, and take a more active role when I feel it’s a better time.
BillyRedRocks 5y ago
Live however you want dude. THe whole point of the post was to not use Monk Mode as an excuse to isolate yourself and put yourself in a worse position with women than when you started. You should be improving all the time not just in moink mode, so why not improve your game while you're at it. That's the point, hence monk mode being almost obsolete with the exceptions of extreme cases.
PS: waiting for your SMV to peak before trying to pick up women is a buffer. I read you're doing well just keep it in mind for the future.
SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY 5y ago
Yeah I agree, but sometimes you don’t have time to do everything. For example if you have work trips overseas where you’re busy pretty much from 8am to 10pm when you come back, your free time is more valuable for a stretch afterwards because you lost some of it while on travel. That’s my story, partly. But like there’s improve mode and maintenance mode. You can only shift so many things into improve mode and the other things have to be like maintenance mode. You can’t have all things in improve mode at once otherwise you aren’t truly going to improve any of them. At least it’s that way for me. There’s other things in my lineup right now that are more pressing than women. That doesn’t mean I don’t take the low hanging fruit but I don’t have time to go full safari mode and clock where all the best girls are.
Beerbeer007 5y ago
It's a lifestyle choice. Think about "Ride with Norman Reedus" or "Easy Rider" as examples.