When a girl's hypergamous nature calls, one of the best allies is going to be her sense of doubt. Most girls aren't just suddenly going to cheat without having some kind of distorted rationalization for their actions.
You probably know popular rationalizations like: "oops, I drank too much", "you're an asshole", "You didn't gave me enough attention", "I thought he wouldn't find out", "wasn't ready to be serious with you", "you weren't exciting enough", "I just wanted someone better (more successful)". None of these are actual reasons for her cheating, but they are reason for her not feeling bad about the cheating.
She has a lot to lose. Her current man can provide her with a sense of security, stability, status, income, support, attention, validation. etc. Would she cheat, she would stand the chance of losing all of that and her reputation with it. She needs to be very secure that these resources will be provided by the other guy.
Especially when a girl realizes she has better options, her hamster is going to spin into overdrive, searching for the best possible outcome to the situation. That's when the shit tests are going to start. That's when you are constantly compared to the competition. Failing the shit tests is just proving that you are the worst option, while she is only looking for the best. At the same time, she'll also be shit testing the competition to figure out if they are as good as she believes.
The worst thing to do during these exceedingly more difficult shit tests, is to react weakly. This is the part were she can rationalize you as being "abusive", "controlling", "dramatic", "broken", etc. The more rationalizations, the less she'll feel bad.
Once made out to be the bad guy, there isn't much you can do. She has her army of friends and orbiters that will rationalize it all for her and tell her exactly what she wants to hear. Your past with her doesn't matter, everything you've done or have given doesn't matter. It's all nothing now and she won't feel any guilt about it all. In her mind, you will be in the wrong and you will have to redeem yourself (within her frame). Beta billy would of course take this to heart, and beg and beg and beg, because his biggest fear is his own thoughts and his self doubts. If she still has a n unfilled need for the poor sod, he can take on an orbiter role to be useful.
She spent her live learning how to play a good victim. As a man, you can never count on people picking your side. If you're close to the girl, she could talk this negativity behind your back and affect your reputation, which is one of the biggest things you want to avoid. The best way to avoid all of this is to never get in the situation (don't do mentally unstable people).
We here of course can see through this and see the hidden games. It's all power plays where people try to take control and get the most benefit. That's why it's so important to maintain frame while she's prodding you and throwing shit tests at you.
She needs to know that she needs you more than you need her. That you have more options than her, and she risks becoming the one who's dumped, instead of leading a break-up.
She needs to realize that consequences of messing her shit up are going to be severe.
snowmoose1 5y ago
Women want what they can’t have. Be that guy and fuck others even if you’re in a LTR cause subconsciously you will mirror the true “i dont give a fuck” naturally by default. This will also be the easiest way to pass shit tests but like some other wrote before, if they are constant just drop her, ain’t nobody got time for that.
mette13 5y ago
So basically cut ties as soon as its over. No talking at all, or as TRP calls it, ghosting.
CainPrice 5y ago
Too much drama.
First off, the overwhelming majority of women are not intentionally mercenary. They're not deliberately using one guy for cash and a different one for fun and laughing about it. They legitimately believe their love triangle situation is special and unique to them and that their personal circumstances are extraordinary. Women lie so well because most the time, they don't actually think they're lying.
Second, women aren't trying to rationalize their behavior. Not directly. Women are trying to rationalize their feelings. Because for women, feelings are never wrong. If they feel a certain way or don't feel a certain way (e.g., she doesn't have the hots or feel that connected to her devoted boyfriend but does have the hots and feelz a strong connection to a new guy in the heat of the moment), her pile of rationalizations that she comes up with are meant to explain her feelings. Her feelings can't be wrong. Therefore, if she feels a certain way, it must be because her man is wrong.
Third, a man who's worth a damn doesn't care about any of this. It doesn't matter if a woman is making up reasons why he's abusive or controlling or broken or whatever. It doesn't matter if she has an army of friends and orbiters who thinks she's right for cheating or dumping you. What use does a man have trying to save something that's already over? What use does a man have trying to...what exactly? Win over her friends and stay in their good graces? What's it matter if her friends think she was right to cheat on you and dump you, or what she's telling people so she doesn't feel bad? A man who's worth a damn doesn't care if a woman "wins". Once he's not fucking her any more, it really doesn't matter what she does with who, who she tells what, or how comfortable she is with what she's done. If she's not fucking him any more, why is she even on his radar? Who cares if she "wins" by spinning a great story for her friends?
MilkMoney111 5y ago
This is why women have no problem accusing you of something, or blatantly lying to her friends about you. They know you didn't actually commit the atrocities they're accusing you of, they just FELT like you're a bad enough person to commit them. They just KNOW you're a monster because their feelings told them so.
tchower 5y ago
I love it! A guy that has his shit together doesn’t care what she does, with who, where or why, if this girl’s no longer fucking him anymore, why would she even be on his radar? Who cares! That statement is red pill as fuck! Good post!
Flying_Wingback 5y ago
“If I don't think the problem is a problem to me, then it's not one at all”
WetLikeMyJumperTho 5y ago
Great comment, the second paragraph sums up my oneitis to a tee. Thanks for your contribution.
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SKRedPill 5y ago
The lesson is that in women, virtually all their behaviours are rooted in her feeling first, and beliefs and thoughts follow as a result, whereas for men, most of the time, their behaviours are rooted in their belief systems and thoughts, and emotions follow as a result. This doesn't mean a woman isn't capable of self awareness, or a man is stone cold, but it's a question of what dominates.
You will therefore see that when a man falls to the whims of his emotions, he's going down a slippery slope fast, because he does what feels good instead of what is really good for him.
This is why reasoning with a woman doesn't ever work. If she doesn't like you, everything you do will be wrong and repulsive. On the other hand, I have seen a few (note the word "few") wives that are so attached to their husbands that anything he does, their hamsters will justify and defend it. I guess you can't really eliminate their hamsters, but you can get it to spin for you or they can end up spinning against you. Desire can be created through emotional means, but it cannot be created by logical argument.
We've done a mistake by trying to interpret everything through a logical lens, but this intellect is a new thing. Logical argument is probably just over 100,000 years old, the bulk of which has come in the past 5000 years or so. Logic for logic's sake is really only as old as modern civilization itself. Survival and Emotions have ruled the animal kingdom for over half a billion years now.
The best skill we can have is to have a good read of a woman's emotional state, because that is her master switch. We would like to think that if we beg, plead, reason, change and what not, it will solve the problem. But women really care more about their sollipsistic experience rather than objective experience, so she won't care about the relationship as much as you do.
But nope, not unless you can a) Overwrite her feels and b) Overcome her past memory of your beta days. Your best bet is then going back to an alpha state, focusing on yourself and assuming outcome independence. If this is over, so be it. Shit happens. It will hurt. Accept it and process the pain with awareness. Always remember, it is better to have no relationship than a walking dead one.
morexel 5y ago
Some of you guys are obsessed with passing shit tests that aren't worth it. If she's eyeing competition tell her flat out to go take it and find someone new. You guys are going to make yourselves crazy dealing with this shit.
Warrior_King02 5y ago
Yeah, when I would focus too much on shit tests things never really got anywhere. There’s no point in chasing a girl who’s eyeing someone else
morexel 5y ago
Absolutely. Shit tests are fine. But when they're constant it is not worth the effort. They're only fun to break down a frame of an unattainable woman... But not to keep her around. Women just make themselves annoying at some point.
Go fuck that dude. It's your loss and you'll discover that real soon. We're the ones playing the game. I have infinitely more to give and to lose.
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