Let's just be friends but, down the road, who knows? I AM attracted to you. But let's just be friends."

Translated:

"Your auction bid for this pussy did not meet the sellers Reserve Price. Please wait for notification if , in the future, your auction bid becomes the highest bidder in the event the current highest bidder defaults.

Yours, Hypergamy."

Welcome to game.

There are yes girls and no girls. And then there are these girls: girls that you think are 'yes', but are really 'no'.

And they are the worst kind of girls. At least with no girls you know what you're getting. This lot is just a waste of time. And if you're naive (which sounds like you are), then you'll fall back into their trap everytime you tell yourself you're done with her.

So it's our job in TRP to tell you to next her and move on. There are more fish in the pond. And to be honest, you didn't lose anything anyways.

On the upside, now you can write more realistic female characters.

1) she was exactly what my poor battered ego needed right now,

No she wasn't. She was the last thing you needed. This energy viper sensed a disturbance in the force caused by a newly divorced man and could not help but pounce.

2) one week into my new terrifying life alone, this is the worst time to get an emotional kick in the nuts this fast.

The fuck? You attracted a hottie 10 years younger than you on your first week after the divorce? So she friend zoned you and played you? Put her on a shelf and move to the next one. You only are getting an emotional kick in the nuts because YOU ARE LETTING THEM. STOP FALLING FOR EVERY WOMAN WHO GIVES YOU ATTENTION.

This is a win my friend! Past you would not have realised what was going on or called her on it.

Past you may have even convinced yourself that she would eventually fall for you, but now? You've recognised a flaw in you're thinking and are actively working on fixing it. Many won't get that far.

Good work!

Fools who read the sidebar the TRP can get one night stands. If anybody is looking to get into a relationship you'd better have your shit straight and be well read in the philosophy.

Oof... let me just say your story resonates with me. Good luck in the future; it is tough getting out of a marriage and having to deal with things again...

Stories like this and shit that happens to women sickens me. Where is the honour any more? Not even honour, just not being a fucking cunt of a person.

I personally couldn't do what these chicks seem to do effortlessly, the feeling of betraying a lover would hurt me more than anything.

Sometimes I think I'm the crazy weird one and everyone else isn't.

Women trade sex for love. Men trade love for sex.

You fucked up the formula and gave the love away for free.

You got the little boost you needed after your divorce, got played like a fool, and you've learned your lesson.

It's not her fault. It's yours. Hoes is gonna hoe. Women will not change. This is what they do. Welcome to the desert of the real.

This is understandable, coming from someone who was still the bluest of Blue Pills when my wife and I separated. I was looking for a new relationship as validation and ended up chasing a worthless slut (no bitterness talking here: she was under 30 with a confessed N > 30). She'd fuck everyone but little ol' Beta me. Now I know why.

Go read No More Mister Nice Guy by Glover. It will be the best investment of your time at this point in your life.

OP she did like you when she first met you, and she would have fucked you 100% gauranteed despite having a boyfriend. The issue is you revealed how much of a beta-male you where and once she realized she could have your commitment for free, she took it.

You should always try to fuck her on the first date. It is okay if she doesn't. Then try to fuck her on the second date. If she doesn't it raises some red flags but if you really want her you are able to try again. If she doesn't fuck you on the 3rd date, it's a hard next.

You only have a certain amount of time with a women until you're put in the friendzone

Every second you spend with a women is a ticking time bomb to you chances of sleeping with her. When she first met you she thought you where a sexy badass. Then with every second you spent with her she got to know the "real you" and the mystery and badassery was dispelled.

If you're not physical within the first 3 dates then you've set up the dynamic of the relationship to be a non sexual one. I can't blame her, you're the guy version of a drunk slut that sucks dudes off in the glory hole at a club. You're just giving away your money and time for nothing.

TRP isn't just for dudes looking for a one-night stand. It's for men looking for relationships too.

All relationships are transactional ... there is something we want.

Some people might call that "manipulation", but if that is the case then we are all basically manipulating each other all the time. Angling to get what we want, what we need. Calling it "manipulation" is just a form of shaming language. And shaming language itself is, ironically, just another way of manipulating others to behave how you want.

Everything in life is about power. Never forget that. Play or get played.

Something makes me think that the massages were YOUR idea, not hers. Am I right?

"Just got divorced out of a loveless marriage where we'd been sleeping in separate rooms the last few years."

How can a man not fuck his wife for 3 years and still live with that bitch? I would have bailed after 1 month of no fucking.

You sound like a disaster from your description. Instead of writing such posts and saying "Lessons Learned", sort the subreddit by the 'top' and 'all time' feature and read atleast the first 500 posts and comments. You have a lot to learn

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are still new to being single, dating, TRP. Give yourself time to understand all of this. To that point, I would strongly consider monk mode for a while. Or at least hold off on dating, for the very reason you described. Yes, it sucks to be newly single, but it sucks more to be kicked in the emotional jewels from dating before you are ready.

This all happened in the course of a week? Chill out dude, get some hobbies.

I told her I couldn't see her anymore,at least until I got over her.

This tells me that you haven't learned your lesson yet. You show that you expect her to treat you differently once she 'learns her lesson'. BZZZT! Wrong!

I hope somebody messaged Neo, I think he is ready for the red pill.

I remember the beta days of questioning and "confronting." These were the tail end--after you decided you were at least worthy enough to question a woman on her selfish behavior.

Soon he will learn that "confronting" is also a waste of time. Just soft next the attention whore with an amused smile and maybe she'll call you to suck your dick in a few days or maybe not, who cares.

He's ready for the truth.

go to the gym. disregard females. play trance music on maximum volume to create tranquility in any place.

You became too invested and failed to create attraction.

You cannot buy affection and love from a woman: gifts, expensive restaurants, massages etc. This made you appear as a manipulative creep in her eyes.

Another FATAL mistake is that you confronted a girl you haven't slept wit yet.Huge mistake.

I can almost feel your desperation for intimacy. This is not attractive at all. Go out and bang a couple of chics and have some fun.Get used to having your own space.

You are in no position to be talking LTR. You are still in rebound from the sounds of it.

Well at least you recognize your mistakes.

Just don't repeat them.

Make a list of what you did wrong, step by step, and next time this situation arises (and no doubt it will arise again) make sure you do it the right way.

And whatever you do, don't slip back into this girls orbit.

Soft next her, and if she starts sweating you for attention tell her she can bring a pizza over to your place some night of your choosing.

Welcome to the Desert of the Real.

Now, that you've opened your eyes, do the reading, hit the gym and get your head out of your ass. AWALT!

Be a better man, and you will attract more women.

I told her I couldn't see her anymore, at least until I got over her.

Wait, what? Do I have to explain to you how big of a pussy that makes you sound like? I understand that you need to get laid, but Jesus!

The correct answer would have been to just drop her right when she started playing games. At that point, one of two things would have happened:

1. She would have fucked right off

2. She would have jumped on your dick in short order.

And this will probably kill you, but she probably would have fucked you if you'd been a god damned man about the whole thing.

We started hanging out every day.

So, friendzone then... This is how it should go: First date - touching and ideally no kissing (unless sex) Date should be short to see if you like each other. Second date - kissing and possibly more. Third date - sex.

Total time to sex: Less than 10 hours = fast. More than ~30 hours = friendzone / brother. This should be obvious to all men by now.

Sure, you can stretch that out a bit. Perhaps BJ on date three... perhaps it's 5 and not 3 because of other constraints. But it's most definitely not "seeing each other every day". What is this, fucking highschool?

She'll fall for you harder if you're not there than if you are. Keep your options open, flirt with everything that moves, increase your attractiveness and do not get attached or one-itis.

I told her I couldn't see her anymore, at least until I got over her

Err... ever. She's a timewaster. She'll always be a timewaster. Forget it and move on. Bang some genuine girls.

Thing is... everyone gets played. Don't worry about it. Learn to accept that it's always a possibility and always gonna happen. Don't worry about it, everyone gets strung along. Guys giving women too much attention... Girls having sex and hoping for commitment. Keep a light heart about it. And for the love of god, keep your options open and flirt with more women.

Women can flirt with you and still not be interested in a relationship. This boggled my innocent mind.

Women don't just accumulate orbiters you know. It doesn't just happen by chance - they actively encourage it in many cases, and rarely discourage it. Free attention? Great! And the guy really really wants her? So much the better!

The solution is escalation. Move things forward. Call her bluff, see if she's serious. Genuine girls enjoy this. Fake girls try to beta-shame you to keep you as an orbiter.

The only people who think TRP is manipulation are gas-lighting, ignorant or naive. People who think TRP is some magical journey to getting laid are short-sighted and ignorant. In reality TRP is understanding the current real world female/male dynamic and direction society is going, where is was and what it is now.

Using this information to better yourself and achieve your ideal situation is ultimately up to you.

It gets worse. A day after I told her I didn't want to see her -- a DAY -- she texts me saying she's having some trouble at her job, and could she call in that favor and have me use my connections to find her a better job? (When I was trying to impress the hell out of her last week, I'd mentioned in passing I might be able to help her with her job situation.)

THE BALLS ON THIS WOMAN. I literally just told her I don't want to see her anymore (which she took pretty offhandedly, crushing me further), and the next day she's asking me for a favor. I must be the bluest of blue pills.

Why are you trying to bang a girl with a boyfriend. You're a scumbag, you deserve all the pain that comes your way.

Edit: she approached you. You are in her frame. She has mad game and you are one of her many plates. YOu were an easy mark.

A cute girl ten years younger than me, who loved my work (I'm a writer), started fangirling up to me.

O, so you're like her (young) dad.

We started hanging out every day. I tried to impress her with my status and bank, taking her out to really nice restaurants, booking her massages at my gym.

Ok, so you're definately her dad.

Lots of touching from her, long looks, frank talk about sex, bashful looks when I complimented her, talk of sleepovers and the future.

Awww, you had "The talk" with her. That's cute. Then you said she looks hot and she felt awkward, but you thought she was bashful. Then you planned a disney-themed princess sleepover that never actually happened.

After many dates, I'm still getting hugs and pecks on the cheek.

Her: "Here's your nite nite kiss daddy. Love you, thanks for taking me to dinner and paying for the massage, and having the sex talk with me so I can feel better when I go home and get boned by my boyfriend."

She has daddy issues. She wants you to be the nice older guy who looks after her and teaches her and praises her. That's all.

She was living with a boyfriend, but gave me the impression they were on the outs and that they were mostly together for the rent. And you believed it?

News flash: if a woman is ready to leave her man, she WILL jump ship as soon as something better comes along. How many times has a woman walked out on her boyfriend and moved in with the next guy in the same hour? And she's not moving in with you, so...

The guy had an opportunity and a window and failed to escalate. Instead of capitalizing on her fangirlism, he dispelled his mystique and mystery by going on a bunch of expensive "getting to know you" dates, giving her all the benefits without asking her for anything, and more importantly, giving her too much time to think. He should have just went for it from the get go.

You didn't get played at all. She was unusually straightforward with you. You're attractive enough for her to consider dating you, but your behavior turned her off. You failed crucial shittests. My guess is you weren't assertive enough, not sexual enough, and you displayed submissiveness by agreeing to her terms no matter how you disliked them.

Once you establish yourself as a "known beta orbiter" ("beta orbiter marriage?") women seem to immediately recognize you are a resource to be exploited.

.

Ever heard of wearing a Kick Me sign?

.

In elementary school this would involve sticking a sign with the words "Kick Me" on a kids back without him knowing. Then all the other kids would kick him (these days they would call it "bullying") until the kid woke up and realized he had the sign on his back.

You need to realize you wear a Use Me I'm A Beta Orbiter sign and remove it.

And any time someone you can't trust pats you on the back suspect bad intentions. (male or female)

.

1) she was exactly what my poor battered ego needed right now

Wrong. TRP and the gym is what you need right now.

Get over yourself. Everyone is tired of hearing you beta male sob stories.

This isn't a beta-support group, its your fault for being a sucker.

Holy. Shit. OP I just had one pull this on me. She wasn't ready for dating even after we got physical 2nd date. Date, as in I met her at a dating site and she agreed to go on a date with me yet she claims she's not ready to date. She wanted me to be only her friend, no kissing hugging and all that until she was ready, then she would go on 'dating' with me. I nexted her. Told her I'll help with her problems if we were a couple, she said no only friends, said I'd walk and be gone forever if that is the case. I busted out the walking boots and here I am a few hours later. Like literally THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME. Total AWALT moment.

TRP gave me knowledge to look for her putting me in orbit, and I told her it was exactly that. Be glad we have TRP, the old me might have bucked or worse been super depressed about this whole ordeal. I actually took it well considering. Guess all we can do is walk on and keep looking.

why don't you confront this "actual boyfriend" and tell him your story.. ask him to keep his chick off you & other such betas.. even an anon note would do fine.

introduce him to TRP.

It'd be one thing if it was a case of unrequited love, where I was pursuing her based on no signals

Nigga, all the unrequited love in history has occurred because the woman has given the man hope. A little glance, a show of ankle during victorian times to "spend money on me and i touch you a bit" dates of today.

These stories never really hit me until this one because its pretty much the exact same fucking story as what happened to me recently with a few different cosmetic details, incredible!

Time to man the fuck up. Do you even lift? She was that repulsed by physical contact that I had to ask this.

Honestly you played it badly, I am 100% sure she would have cheated on her boyfriend, but your display of value was pitiful.

i find it insane that you hung out with a girl more than 2-3 times without getting anything

Recognizing the situation is half the battle won. There are guys out there who would just keep following that trail of breadcrumbs and not realize how much the woman is taking from them without giving.

She tested you and you failed. Pretty simple stuff there. But you are a long way out from learning to recognize that stuff if you are freshly divorced.

My advice: Monk Mode. Get over your need for intimacy and concentrate on learning the basics.

girl i m currently dating. during week 1. i told her how i was getting blue balls cuz of her. i told her its cuz of her and she needs to do something about it. she took care of it.

That's sucks, but a least you learned an important lesson from your experience. This kind of thing can actually be easily avoided. I have a 3 date rule. If I've been out with someone 3 times, and still no sex (I don't care what the excuse is) we are D-U-N done! There is no chemistry between us, and its time to move on to the next victim. Oops I mean woman ; )