Summary: This is a list of red flags and green flags for your unicorn hunting. Please note that one or two red flags or one or two green flags are not always disqualifying or qualifying factors for LTR. Always use a "total average score approach". Always consider that some red flags are just "warning flags" rather than negative red flags in and of themselves.

Body:

Warning flag (WF) vs a Red flag (RF):

Having a lack of father figure or a neglecting/abusive parental figure is a warning-flag, it isn't a red-flag. It is a flag where you watch for other signs or symptoms of this history. It is not in and of itself a disqualifying factor. No one gets to choose their parents, so why hold it against them? It's definitely something to look for and see what effects they manifest into.

Be careful about the way you judge men vs women. You have to balance the scale. There's a different grading tool for men versus for women.

(this is a generalization and is not always accurate) Typically compared to men, women will typically (not always, I have a girl who has a better degree than I do):

• be less successful in career/life.
• be more moody and have mood swings
• be more emotional. Little things can make them happy, annoyed, or sad a lot more often. "my husband never does this, but my husbands' friend, he just washed the dishes after dinner. tear"
• be exhibit more pronounced signs of personality disorders because people let them get away with stuff
• be more likely to exaggerate or talk to you about problems that are not really problems or are not as bad as they described it to you.
• be less likely to think in terms of gray, and more likely to think in black-and-white.
• be likely to avoid conflict/confrontation.

Red-flags (RFs) [red flags are negative traits that can be disqualifying if there's a lot of them]:

• alcohol / drug addiction. Don't believe her words either like "oh im a social drinker". Just look for signs. But sometimes they have a legitimate excuse too (loss of family recently). Yes you can even be mentally addicted to marijuana too. The more illegal the activity, the more dangerous and red-flag this is.
• Binge shopping, debt, & declining credit cards This is a red flag in most cases. But there is one exception I've found. A rich girl from a wealthy family who has tons of money in her debit card but forgets to put it on her credit card.
• Talking to ex's all the time. Making friends with random guys who are clearly thirsty betas instead of just ignoring them for you.
• Tattoos/abnormal-piercings/short-hair(like a boy's)/fully-colored-neon-hair. Sometimes girls talk about this without actually doing it and that's ok. A strand of hair colored is OK.
• Being blatantly manipulative to others in front of you, as a way to impress you. Or manipulative to just you.
• high-doses of entitlement or grandiosity. "you should really buy me that"... "people help do my work all the time."
• high-doses of self-victimization. "everyone is always oppressing me."
• A history with criminal activity that isn't minor. Don't date criminals, it's just too dangerous and can cause you irreparable harm.
• Narcissistic or Borderline personality disorder. Characterized by lack of empathy, manipulations, and incredible anger/mood-swings that are beyond normal.
• STDs or terminal-diseases, don't put yourself through this. You might get the urge to empathize and help them, but you don't owe anyone anything.

• trivial things enrage her / drama-queen.

  e.g. "Did you really do [something you cannot control] in front of me? How dare you? What is wrong with you? You're a fucked up person." ...

• Brain incapacity to distinguish between Intentional vs Unintentional actions (the inability to understand the difference between intentional, accidental, neglectful). This can be a red flag for both men and women as it indicates low intelligence.

  e.g. "Did you really do [something accidentally]? Why would you do this? Why are you trying to hurt me?" (inability to separate intentionally evil versus unintentional consequences of well-meaning actions, noam chomsky is particularly infamous for being unable to distinguish this nuance and the amount of fans he has, well, that's because a lot of people are incapable of this analytical skill too).

• Likes to go out all the time without you. Not to meet up with friends but likes attention/validation from strangers. I don't mean "going out with the girls tonight". I mean "I felt like hanging out in X bar/club last night."
• Lack of Empathy, some girls will fake empathy like love of animals or helping the poor, while not caring about your feelings or desires or needs.
• Doesn't care if you orgasm, only cares for her own.
• Depressive, problem-creator, gas-lighter. She will create problems and blame you or she will tell you about depressive stories about herself all the time without listening to your stories. She will create problems out of nothing. She will blame you even when she did something while not taking your advice.
• Impulsiveness, pressuring people to drunk drive. Pressuring others to do illegal activities. Doing dangerous stunts. Randomly changing decisions and forcing you to do something crazy.
• Passive-aggressiveness or avoiding confrontation to the point that they lie and hide things from you.

One or two red-flags is manageable but can disqualify from LTR depending on what you tolerate.

Warning Flags (WFs) [warning flags can indicate an underlying or future problem, but cannot disqualify someone because it doesn't mean they are broken just because of this]

%%%%% Warning flags are NOT NEGATIVE TRAITS. They are simply indications of possible OTHER problems to watch out for. %%%%%%

• Neglectful/abusive parents. It is possible that neglectful childhood will make a neglecting mother. Neglect leads to criminally delinquent or psychotic children.
• childhood abuse. This can be a serious red flag in many cases because it is a very traumatic event that can manifest itself in many ways. Usually with LMR, inability to take off clothes, fear of sex, fear of being touched.
• Seeing a psychiatrist for a non-depression/non-anxiety personality disorder. Most honest women will come clean if they have a personality disorder. But some will try to hide it and sometimes their disorder will make them want to lie to you about it. Some of them can be managed so it is a warning flag only but it should be noted that PDs can be passed onto kids.
• Having only guy friends (not ex-boyfriend friends). Having a lack of female friends.
• Using powerful words in the wrong context/definition, "molest", "oppress", "torture", "rape", "genocide", "abuse", "illegal" like as if they are watered down versions of it.
• Doesn't do you any sexual favors/desires except for the position and thing she wants.
• Inability to hold down a job or laziness in looking for jobs. Expects others to provide for her. There are exceptions: (1) studying more than working (2) wealthy family so doesn't feel the need to get a job.
• Religious. Religious people see the world in black-and-white moral terms. More likely to be pro-life and force you into a marriage/having-kids/paying-child-support. More likely to be highly offended by something you do or something about your life that they cannot reconcile with their belief in God. They will absolutely brainwash any kids you two might have in a damaging way even if they promise they won't.
• Control freak / health freak. Inability to eat normal things. Constantly complains at restaurants. Trying to control other peoples' behaviors all the time. Using her vagina as a weapon/bargaining-chip to draw out the beta in you. This isn't a red flag because men also use their attention/validation/commitment as a weapon/bargaining chip at times, and so it is acceptable at times to get what you want in a relationship.
• highly OCD. Getting pissed at small messes or because you left a glass somewhere or because you didn't clean something small and trivial.
• Irresponsibility. Constantly avoiding responsibilities. Neglecting duties. Trying to escape the world.

Green flags (GRFs) [positive traits and signs that unicorns would have. A lot of it is the opposite of the above]

• Responsible. financially, doing chores, school/job responsible behavior, alcohol responsible behavior.
• Empathetic.
• Hard-work ethic
• Sports/gym routines.
• Doing you favors in the bedroom or elsewhere that she had NO REASON to need to do.
• Slightly moderate/conservative in the things she does. Likes traditions and and traditional male-female roles.
• Being generous to others
• Self-discipline and controlling her own behaviors or trying hard to control them.
• Clingyness (yes this is something that drives some guys away, but it is a green flag, because it is honesty. An honest person, does like to be clingy to those they like to be around. Even a beta being clingy to a girl, is just being honest about what he wants. Same for girls being clingy to you. It's a good sign if you can tolerate it).
• Happy/positive/optimistic attitude.
• Doesn't easily get mad or irritated.
• Can talk rationally or a mature adult without getting mad at anything.
• Accepts your ideas and is submissive to your suggestions or proposals.
• When you challenge her, she acknowledges your views and/or changes her mind about an issue frequently when challenged.
• Does things that are designed because she is anxious or fearful that you might get angry/irritated with her. So she pre-empts it by doing things out of respect for you.
• Nurturing/kind behavior to others, even animals.
• Enjoys it when you make decisions for her.
• Hobbies, interests, reading non-fiction (indicates intelligence), all positive signs

P.S. sometimes these flags depend on what you tolerate. I've dated a girl who had a large number of these WFs and RFs, and it was perfectly fine for an LTR. Nothing bad happened except the occasional getting mad at each other type thing.

Sometimes the GRFs will outnumber the WFs or RFs. You should use a whole-person total value approach.

Lessons to Learn:

• Do not try to fix someone with a serious red-flag that you find damaging. If you feel the need to fix "birds with broken wings" and the need to solve their problems for them even though the damage they cause you, then you may have what's called codependency / dependency personality disorder. You depend on them for your self-worth and you tolerate their bullshit because you want to feel like a savior.