TL:DR - This is the TRP Field Toolkit. A more detailed guide to all the basics used in the field that will allow you to deal with the vast majority of situations which arise. The way I explain everything is the way I see it and how it has been working well for me including examples and links to additional reading. The second part of the guide covered Frame, Posture and Body Language. This part covers Shit tests and Comfort tests.
- Shit tests.
Naturally I will now point to the sidebar material on this as the most basic reading. Once you've figured out these basic responses and learned a little on the benefits of silence, it's time to start calibrating your game.
This is down to your individual personality. I've said before that women are great at spotting fakes. They've been practicing their social skills and reading between the lines much more than most men. Your game will be significantly stronger if you play to your strengths and your personality. First, figure out if you're a strong silent type, or the life of the party joker, or maybe you're that douchebag jock guy who'll benefit from a heavy dose of asshole game.
Pick the responses to shit tests that will work best for you. This will require some experimentation, but you should be able to settle down nicely as you test things out. I'll briefly go through a quick application of the basic combats to shit tests. (Remember, in essence all shit tests break the rapport and look for you to follow suit and demonstrate your strong social skills. So the same style of response can be used by different types of men in different ways.)
I'll quickly run through some examples of the classic shit test "I bet you say that to all the girls." I am answering the same test to demonstrate that you will be able to see what style of response best fits your personality (and that not all types of response are equally strong. This is the essence behind why you need to calibrate.)
Example responses:
- Agree and Amplify
"Of course I do. That queue outside is actually girls lining up to hear it."
"Definitely. Every hot girl who crosses my path, so I think I've said it like ten thousand times. This is ten thousand and one."
I've chosen these examples because I think they can be delivered as both jokey and serious depending upon your own calibration and what suits your personality. I don't tend to use A&A often, but it works nicely when I think it's the right move. In essence A&A is just playful sarcasm which adds silly-style-fun to the conversation while not answering her question properly. (Because all shit test questions aren't worthy of a serious response. They're not designed for a serious response, they're designed to see if they phase/concern you or not.)
- Ignore (change the subject)
"Oh I love this song, have you heard it before?"
"My glass is empty, when do you plan on refilling it?" (Add smirk obviously.)
From my experience, randomly changing the subject tends to work less well than changing it to something concrete and relevant to the evening you're having with her. It makes it seem like the conversation has moved on naturally, rather than overtly trying to dodge. This can be both cheeky and serious, just mould the delivery according to how you want to be perceived.
- Ignore (silence)
If you have eye contact already, hold it and wait until she looks away. Then look off in whatever direction, (preferably in the direction of a hot chick) and then throw out a bit of laughter and move the conversation forward.
If you don't have eye contact, don't look for it. Just look off into the middle distance and let a smirk slowly cross your face. Make sure she fills the silence. (She'll want to because silences make most girls uncomfortable.)
Silence is my preferred response to a shit test like this. Silence is also an excellent way to feed the hamster. Feeding the hamster is simply leaving details out, being vague and leaving her to fill in the gaps (which, if she likes you, she'll fill them in positively thanks to the halo effect.) It's the same principle on which dread game is based. Keep that hamster fed gentlemen!
- Pressure flip (my personal fav)
"Yes. Do you ask all the boys that?"
"Maybe. What's your go-to line?"
"Why do you care about the other girls chasing me?"
Pressure flips are my favourite because they suit my personality. I believe they're a combination of ignoring the nonsense and reasserting frame. They're like a playful form of confrontation and will work particularly well if you're a naturally aggressive man. I particularly like them because it forces a small flush of emotion in the girl which combined with your demolishing of her shit test gives you bonus tingles. You can answer the question if you want in a pressure flip, but typically you want to question the assumption the test is based on. Force her to think about why she's asking the question because most girls don't actually know or understand why they ask these things. If she's reduced to babbling nonsense then that's worked well and you can assume you've caused some tingles. Always use these under any circumstances where she's showing some submissive responses or submissive body language. It's a fun and strong assertion of dominance and frame.
I have met one woman who could fight my pressure flips by restating her shit test in the same words. (I pressure flipped 3 times, with 3 different lines and she repeated the exact same words back to me 3 more times.) Since I hadn't encountered such absurd stupidity before, it threw me until I had time to reflect. If this happens, I would jump to a command respect response and declare "I will not answer your question until you answer mine." Repeat as needed. She must cave first. Frame reasserted. Then when she's finished answering, then go for the vague response.
- Commanding respect
"I don't like when girls compliment-fish like that to try and feel special. You're already spending time with me so you should feel special and I don't want you questioning me on that. It's disrespectful of my motives."
"Don't imply I'm some kind of sleazy pick-up artist who just spouts lines. If you don't trust my word then we don't have to hang out, but if you do then you'll trust me and won't imply that I don't really mean the things I say."
The commanding respect response is a mega-heavy dominant, reassertion of frame. Essentially you're trying to say very directly and clearly "I will not tolerate your shit. Show me respect." in a very uncompromising fashion. I would advise using this sparingly at first, and maybe on girls who are pretending they're "good girls" because it fits nicely with their narrative. The more playful responses which hint that you might be a cad are what I'd advise most on a first meeting. Commanding respect can/should be used on later meetings if she's still shit testing you. However, again, calibrate according to your own personality. Always remember that trying to command respect from an entitled girl who isn't certain of your SMV being significantly higher than hers is likely to backfire and lower your SMV. This is because it will come across as you having poor social awareness. These girls are better off being negged, ignored, or a combination of both until they change their attitude. If they don't, then it doesn't matter and you don't need to have anything to do with them. Plenty more women out there.
(You may have noticed I've skipped the nuclear option... this is because I firmly believe an alpha male has no need to use this. If you have internalised the correct attitude and have some level of amused mastery about you, then her acting like a spoiled brat will merely amuse you at best and make you silently leave at worst. Either way, using the nuclear option shows she has got to you. Remember that this woman is merely another gnat in the swamp. Plenty more for you to have a swat at. No need to nuke this one from orbit.)
Essential shit test theory reading.
Further reading on Super-Shit tests
- Comfort tests.
Once you've mastered your responses to shit testing, you'll eventually start meeting another obstacle. You've asserted your SMV is higher than hers and demonstrated higher fitness by demolishing her shit tests and continuing to hold the frame of the interaction no matter how much she tests it. All women doubt themselves and at some point, if she sees you as a seriously high-value male, she'll worry that maybe her value isn't quite high enough for you and that she has no real hope with you.
At the core of it, women know instinctively when a man is way outside their league. They know if they're a 3/10 then the 9/10 guy will go for their 7/10 friend and not them. Normally they will disqualify themselves as a social precaution. (There are occasional retarded exceptions, but the rule is generally solid.) This is why beta game tends to work really well for the pretti-boi. (A man who is considered to be naturally physically attractive in the top 5%. These guys still get laid as betas, but they tend to fail at relationships if they never develop any natural alpha traits.)
If you've spent time talking with a girl and she was confident at the beginning that you were within her SMV grasp, then as you display higher and higher levels of fitness through amused mastery and demolition of shit tests, some women will become insecure. (i.e. girl sees herself as a 6 or 7 out of 10. She initially sees you as an 8/10. As the night wears on, she's come to the conclusion you're a 10/10. "Oh no! A 9/10 competitor may come along and steal him. Is he really that interested in me? Have I undervalued myself?") She still wants you, but she wants to be sure she doesn't make an idiot of herself by chasing a man she has no chance with.
This is where she will drop a comfort test on you. Classic comfort tests are typically implying (or even straight saying) that they're worried you're going to leave them. That they're not pretty enough for you. Maybe they even think girl X is going to snatch you away when she clicks her fingers. Your role here is to calm her fears. Give her that validation and increase her SMV slightly so she's sure you're still obtainable. Note that providing emotional comfort in specific situations is not the same as being an emotional tampon. The emotional tampon is used at her whim. Providing comfort is you demonstrating your social awareness and catering to a need. This should be done with minimal words. A sentence will suffice. No big beta speeches about undying love for her!!!
"Why are you with me?" or "I'm worried you're just going to have sex with me and I'll never see you again." These are two pretty typical comfort tests from a girl who has become insecure. The language of these gets varied, but they've been coming up more and more often for me. Here's a couple of direct responses which avoid surrendering the frame.
"Because you're hot, fun and you like to kiss me." (Then kiss her obv.) This one surrenders the frame slightly by answering her question directly, allowing her a little control, but then takes it straight back by you initiating the kiss. (Don't work it like a pressure flip though because that will have the opposite effect. Think romantic delivery.) This would work best for a jokey/clownish dominant guy.
"I wouldn't be here if I just wanted sex with you. We'd have already finished by now and I'd have gone. You're fun/funny/interesting/fascinating, so you'd see me again." Essentially just tell her that her theory is wrong, phrasing it in a positive way that shows you have the power of decision making. Then throw her a compliment. Whatever compliment you think is truthful about her. This is not a time for her bullshit detector to go off. This response would probably suit a more serious or strong/silent type.
"Nobody is good enough for me. But I've chosen you." (An Illimitableman instant-classic.) It's cocky and high-level asshole game for the guy who truly wants to make love to a reflection of himself. Essentially saying I'm the shit and you're lucky to be with me, now shut up and stop whining or you'll lose me.
Next time, in the final part of the guide, I'll be covering identifying Red and Green flags, bypassing the Anti-Slut Defence and Last Minute Resistance, and finally, knowing when to Walk Away.
CopperFox3c 10y ago
Silence really is golden. Cannot emphasize that enough, especially in the face of shit tests.
Too many men are enchanted by "the magic of action." We are doers after all, it is in our nature. But if you do nothing, say nothing, you avoid the trap of doing/saying the wrong thing.
You have to be the rock. Let her storms rage around you. Don't react, at all. Or at most act amused. Reacting only plays into the game. Understanding that takes the onus off of you, and puts it on her. Which is where it should be. This is her drama.
f04ee231826c6c0 10y ago
Yea. The OP's responses are really long, wordy, and gay. Woman already expect an answer when they nag. Say nothing so she gets the answer she expects.
forgotmypa55word 10y ago
OP's responses are all tied to the same shit/comfort test to make it easy to understand. There are multiple options for multiple scenarios. Being silent for every shit test is borderline autistic.
coffee_and_lumber 10y ago
When in doubt, just think, "What Would Don Draper Do?"
rich_ripped_redneck 10y ago
Sometimes I think to myself "What would I do?" as I suck my own dick
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NeoreactionSafe 10y ago
.
Male 60% / Female 40% - Charming Firstmate
Male 50% / Female 50% - Shit Test
.
As power distribution is concerned those are your "zones".
Best to keep it 60% / 40% most of the time. (you always want a buffer)
not2close 10y ago
good stuff. Bending frame every once and a while I believe is acceptable.
Pridestalker21 10y ago
great detailed post. will be waiting for your next post, keep it up.
[deleted] 10y ago
Is "negging" a way to also flip it around?
My instinctual response to the "I bet..." sentence pattern is "Wow, (chuckling) definitely not taking you to the casino then."
RedHeimdall 10y ago
I think that would work, it just seems a little harsh to me.
I've always seen "I bet you say that to all the girls" as something closer to a comfort test... She's basically saying "I bet you're a player." Which implies your SMV is high, because low SMV dudes don't get to be players. So my go-to response to things like this is to kinda chuckle and give a little bit of comfort.
NightwingTRP 10y ago
This could potentially work. However it took me a minute to get the joke so I'd be cautious. I always think... if I didn't get that straight away... what chance has a low intelligence chick got? But if she does get it after a second then it breaks rapport perfectly.
laere 10y ago
It sort of comes off passive-aggresive, IMO. But I guess facial expression, tone, body language would convey it better.
Also my go to is "I say that to all the guys too." I love fucking with peoples heads.
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cockstantino 10y ago
Great to see examples of replies from different types of people.
A note about ignoring shit tests: You can ignore them when you're the one who has the power: For example, someone asks you to do something for them indirectly, or asks why you don't X/Y, or anything where you are the one who takes action.
But when it's about actions that they will take (i.e. I'm going to sign you up for gym class using the family's savings), this is when you MUST react. A go-to response would be to advocate the exact opposite of what they wish to do. Ignoring shit tests like this will just get your ass into things you didn't sign up for and shows that you don't accept that this person exerts power upon you without a fight.
RiseAboveRuin 10y ago
I'm definitely the "jokey/clownish dominant guy" & the "serious or strong/silent type" depending on the mood and/or setting I'm in.
Never heard it separated into distinct categories like that. Good stuff.
asdfghjkltyu 10y ago
The one thing I hate about the changing subject or witty retorts to otherwise bitchy shittests is that by continuing to be friendly and interested in her when she's blatantly insulting you makes you look low value like you tolerate their rudeness. The silence one is usually the best bet in this situation, but ultimately its why 'dinner dates' and that kind of thing are very hard to pull off while looking strong, because in that situation its just really hard to avoid them when you're forced to sit opposite them eating.
Ultimately if they're going to be bitchy shit testing, its easier just to next.
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iamokwithviolence 10y ago
Ignoring the shit test has to be obvious/playful yes? Not like you genuinely acting like you didn't heard
redasphuck 10y ago
hmm..how's is this a shit test? sounds like the girl is trying to converse or am I missing something? "Oh I love this song, have you heard it before?"
Venomroach 10y ago
That's his response to a shit test
redasphuck 10y ago
lol thanks.. fuck my mind is slowing down its true.
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[deleted] 10y ago
Is "Because I like you" good response to comfort test?
NightwingTRP 10y ago
I'd just kiss her instead... add physical comfort to avoid being purely emotional comfort. Pure emotional comfort is what betas offer freely.
asdfghjkltyu 10y ago
The best response is something that elevates you whilst reassuring her.
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