Unplugging: I was lied to
It’s painful. Its not easy.
As I educate myself more and more about the RedPill. I cannot help but feel the pain of my past. I look at how the blue pill mindset I was led to believe, that society pushed down my throat only did nothing but cause me misery, these lies and my blind following, that caused me to be an absolute failure with women.
It was the “ just be yourself “ bullshit that cause me to be complacent with a fat, out of shape and as i look back, a disgusting body. It killed any desire for self improvement because at the end of the day, “ theres someone who will appreciate you the way you are”
It was the “ Just be a nice guy” that caused me to be friend zoned and be an utter and complete orbiter to the women that i wanted to be with. I would give favours, hoping that this would atleat be the way to some sad transactional sex. False.
It was the “ be friends first and get to know her more ” that led me to not make my intentions clear from the start out of fear, I would always be the guy that would wait until “ she is comfortable” before I would make a move or be physical, and by that point - we all know how the story goes.
It was the “ tell her how you really feel” that led me to an emotional open book, ruining any tension and attraction, making it overly obviously my investment in the girl. This worked in the romance movies, shouldn’t it work in real life?
I simply did not know there was an another path, there are those that this knowledge came to naturally or partially naturally and there are those that have to learn the hard way, I was the latter.
As painful as the memories are, reminiscing of past mistakes and their consequences, losing the girl, lost opportunities, oneitis - there is solace in knowing that it is only up from here and I am now well equipped.
The pain, the rejection and failure, it’s what led me here and I am forever thankful. To those starting out, it’s worth it.
NbaLiveMobile10 5y ago
The only thing i might disagree a little bit with this post is the notion that you shouldn't "be yourself". I beleive you should implement a lot of trp strategies in your life to change yourself but you can still do so while not being someone who you aren't. You can still stay true to values you hold and keep good personality traits that make you, you. You dont have to completely alter yourself in terms of your personality. There are many things you should change about the strategies you use but you can still stay true to core aspects of yourself
dinnerwithfunions 5y ago
Just be thankful you opened your eyes. Some guys never do.
officeManipulator 5y ago
Welcome to the club buddy! Now just don't leave and go back to that former version of yourself.
deltaganz 5y ago
Glad to be 300, brother. We're in it together!
pulsar91 5y ago
I can understand you bro. My last relationship was quite the same and my betaness destroyed it even further.
IT’S ALL A LIE!!
All the crap we have been taught by the society is a lie. You should say sorry You should respect women Never make a women unhappy Be kind to girls
Well those innocent girls probably banged more than a beta did in years!
Lies! Lise! Lies!
peacemakerzzz 5y ago
Take caution, OP. This knowledge may allow yourself to feel hatred for women. They are simply to be appreciated for who they are, and what they are capable of. Playing our cards right is what allows us to have the upper hand. They are still wonderful creatures. With great knowledge, comes great responsibility.
swimminginblue 5y ago
Exactly, I feel no hate. I cannot hate a dog for barking, that’s it nature. It’s the opposite actually now, I love them even more now that I understand them.
Wasted_Awareness 5y ago
This. It's why the RP should be swallowed with a good dose of stoicism, because rather than feeling anger towards how things are you should learn how to accept it, adapt to it and take advantage to it. Also I feel like one can't really "blame" women in any of this because they also just happen to believe what they have been told by society, just like BP's. It's sad to see these incels that just give up and blame women for their own problems.
icepickjones 5y ago
The only real lesson this sub should be to take care of yourself.
When you start tying all your worth up in another person, you are stupid. When you define yourself by the person you are with then you lose.
You need to focus on you. Be the best you possible, that's all you can control, you can't control other people.
So work out, get right, keep it centered. You want to go have fun, go have fun. And so will the women you date. They want to have fun, and they might decide having fun is being with you. Or they might not. The point is that what they think isn't up to you. You can move on and they can move on. You can bail whenever you want, but if they think the same thing it's not her being a bitch or something.
This isn't directed at your post because it's pretty chill and you are right, no one should be coming at this with anger. Just don't be a push over. Have self respect. I see some women hating shit on here some times and It's like guys, it's about making yourself better, not shitting on another human and just remasking your inadequacies in a different form.
peacemakerzzz 5y ago
When I meant 'playing cards', I was sure of myself I was referring to the dating game and how we can further optimize it to our liking. Cheers
fblackstone 5y ago
You need to forget about what you know. That is your problem.
-Tyler Durden
TheVikingPrince 5y ago
Youve acknowledged it, now do something about it.
Flesh_Pillow5 5y ago
For new guys with rage and self pity. I recommend alil Tom Leykis.
EvigSoeger 5y ago
What you do on the blue pill is dig yourself deeper into a hole. What you do on the red pill is climb out, fill the hole (giggity) and build yourself a nice house instead.
coffeeboonen 5y ago
My only regret is not having found this place earlier. The red pill community would have been very useful 3-5 years ago when I was making blue pill mistakes left and right. Shit, It would have been very effective to have had this digital mentor from puberty onward. I can look back to age 12 and see numerous occasions where I was sucked into the blue pilled lifestyle and this continued through my teen years up into my until years. It was only when I finally hit 'rock-bottom' ,as the alcoholics call it, when I started to question my motivations, logic, and everyday habits that had plagued me and resulted in the negative outcomes I had grown accustomed to.
zachpw 5y ago
Blue pill is the equivalent of killing evolution, without self improvement, nothing can advance and move forward. This is the detriment of the blue pill on the most basic level.
dumbkidaccount 5y ago
Fuck society man
Fuck you and go lift
Neutral_User_Name 5y ago
Amem-Amen-Amen brother. Come let's have a hug in honour of our shared awakening. Everything is so clear now.
[deleted] 5y ago
It is fucking worth it man we gonna pull ourselves out of this shit with our golden shovels fuauauauaua
ianselfmade 5y ago
The comments guys! I don't know if i should even say this but it's unexplainably empowering. I don't know why, but it is.
OmegaMan2 5y ago
There is another thread on this site about hitting the gym and lifting as if your life depended on it.
Follow that advice and while it will be hard the effort is well worth it
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Jonasena 5y ago
Look forward my man and use the anger to fuel your self-improvement.
Potomato 5y ago
I look back on the money spent from when i was 18-23, 5 years probably $10000 spent on women and basically no sex, no loyalty, just straight up disrespect from them, like i was lower than a cigarette butt on the sidewalk. I served one purpose to these women, a walking ATM. Money was always spent or asked for just to get to be around them. I ignored it because i wanted these women and though that soon they are gonna give me what i want and what they have given to men before me very easily.
it was when i was 23, over 18 months ago i came here, i just had the worst breakup and she did not give a fuck one bit about me and was fucking some other dude, while i shelled out thousands trying to get her. When it was all over i felt so fucking used and trash. the anger inside me turned to depression, i had been here before, but this time it broke me, and since i have been working and rebuilding myself, its a long process and i have my falters.
I look back on these moments and see what a fat, cuck, beta bucks bitch i had been. Some men kill themselves when they come to this realization, others like the people on here, rebuild and overcome.
infamous3238 5y ago
Think on the bright side, it could have been much worse. You could have married one of these girls, and spent far more money on her for a decade, before she divorces you and takes half. Or you could be one of those pathetic guys who gives gifts of thousands of dollars to cam girls and instagram whores. $10k isn't much to lose for a valuable lesson.
Potomato 5y ago
yeah at least i spent it on a actual woman, not the strip club or cam sites, lol. still bad though.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
So many men fall into this trap...
Naebany 5y ago
What the hell did you buy for all those girls?
Potomato 5y ago
help with bills, Food, going shopping and giving them whatever they wanted, shit adds up so quick. I look back and cringe at what a fucking idiot i was.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
Everything. Drinks, dates, clothing, vacations...
Naebany 5y ago
No sex after you bought them vacations? Damn...
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fatboy-slim 5y ago
"For once I was blind, now I can see!" - I'm glad for you my man.
rn7889 5y ago
Right there with you. The hardest part for me is letting go of blue bill. I was raised homeschooled and catholic. Treating people with the blue pill mindset actually feels good to me. I truly enjoy going above and beyond, and doing what I was taught that women would want, so learning that it's exactly what I am doing wrong is difficult. Implementing Red Bull strategies feels so foreign to me and uncomfortable, but I know I have to if I want my woman to respect me. It definitely makes me bitter about what I was taught.
ggggggggee 5y ago
Another fellow homeschooled Catholic....it is indeed very very tough.
rn7889 5y ago
The toughest part is I'm a tall, in shape, decent looking guy. People naturally expect me to take charge, and I don't...It puts me in an awkward area and confuses the hell out of new people.
ggggggggee 5y ago
I used to be the same way. Not trying to brag but I am a couple inches above the average height. Barely 6 feet tall but ppl seem to think it is above average. I had the worst slouch on Earth and I wouldn't take charge for shit because I was scared. Here is how I am getting over it.
Just raise your testosterone levels.
Cut out porn and masturbation if you haven't already, workout and take the right vitamins/supplements (ik they are controversial here but I was severely lacking the key vitamins. ) If you keep this up your body will naturally raise your t levels and you will feel more confidence.
We are all naturally capable of being an alpha. But we do shit that makes us lose our edge, that makes us betas(shit that lowers our testosterone levels). That's my thought at least.
rn7889 5y ago
Confidence is a healthy level now. The slouch is better. I'm 6' 4". Lighting, porn and vitamins are my focus now. Building my shoulders and legs would help a ton. Taking charge used to be way worse, still a long way to go. Sounds like you and I are very similar. Good work on your progress.
What do you do to prevent the "ohhhhh that explains it!" From happening when people find out you were homeschooled?
ggggggggee 5y ago
Usually people only did that when,
A. I was anti social/didn't catch on to sexual slang.
Or
B. They were trying to be an ass
I just own up to it. Joke along. I usually respond "yeah, I was locked in the basement with my mom, cat and sister all day everyday. They were all the friends I ever needed" and usually everyone laughs.
By doing this, I show that I am social and I can crack jokes which makes the whole "anti social weird homeschooler" stereotype go away/not apply to me.
They usually forget about it afterwards.
Guardian_of_Justice 5y ago
Huh??? Overdosing with taurine and caffeine?
swimminginblue 5y ago
Yeah, there are times it would feel so wrong because it’s against my nature and what I had been taught, but I overcome that wall and implement the TRP toolkit in question and...it works.. then I’m left there in amazement haha
one_more_iteration 5y ago
> Treating people with the blue pill mindset actually feels good to me.
I was thinking about this the other day because I know exactly what you mean. I think mentioning your religion is relevant because how we view other people in the West is deeply rooted in our religious values. Namely, the Christian adoration of pity, and its' lesser, tangential feeling of human "brotherhood" that leads us to treat everyone as though they need our help.
> Pity is the most agreeable feeling among those who have little pride and no prospect of great conquests; for them easy prey — and that is what all who suffer are — is enchanting.
This Nietzsche quote is a little bit extreme in the sense of bluepill mindset, but I do believe it is relevant. If women are to be treated as complete equals, then they can pay their own bills, lift their own shit, hold back their tears when they are in distress. But bluepill doctrine dictates, ironically, that man should give a piece of himself because she is lesser, she needs help, she needs a friend to be an emotional tampon. This is pity in action.
Treating a woman as an equal, to me, means reveling in the conflict that comes from conquering that back and forth play that she offers a man she is attracted to. Strike, parry, reposte. These are the inevitable human actions that men and women carry out in different ways that lead to sex, none of which involve feeling bad for the other person.
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LimitXx 5y ago
I felt the same as well. Looking back at what I did in the past it makes me cringe and I laugh at it. I’m grateful for the the mistakes I’ve made because it’s an experience and I learn from it.
swimminginblue 5y ago
Thanks my man. Believe me, when these truths first hit me many months ago I binged and studied on the sidebar as well as the rational male like I would be tested on it. The biggest difference I have noticed is the less I care about the women I am interested in, taking them off the pedestal and focusing on my own goals first, that is when they become more attracted and come in abundance to my life, makes no sense and I have no idea why it works but it works. Who would have thought..
Auvergnat 5y ago
That's because that's the behavior of a sex-satiated, not-needy, high-potential man.
Girls not only assess high SMV (is he hot? Is he pre-selected? Is he super confident? Is he a successful risk-taker?), but they also assess low SMV to screen them out (is he needy? is he overly-emotional? is he letting me and other people push his boundaries?).
Just by not displaying low-SMV behavior, you're already a massive step about 50% of males in their day-to-day assessment.
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1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
Great point. Stop complaining. In fact, never complain.
Sparky159 5y ago
You ARE being tested on it. You are the taker, the tester, and the adjudicator. You are responsible for everything you do from now on, and complaining without action is an automatic failure. Good Luck.
Fyrjefe 5y ago
Right on the money. The third role is probably the most important. We need to seriously judge (read: assess critically) the outcomes of these works put into practice. I think bringing them to the community is important as well. Sometimes we need a verbal smack on the side of the head if we get caught up in some circular logic. The EC are well versed in dealing that out.
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miller211 5y ago
That cool man.. sounds like you got some self-respect now
swimminginblue 5y ago
Indeed my man, self respect and emotional control, but it wasn’t cheap, it came at a price but it was well worth it. The only thing I struggle with now is believing in “ love” and “ happy marriage” I know it’s possible and many have achieved it, but it’s tough to see it.
miller211 5y ago
That's what's up! Keep that attitude and next all those loser girls out there! ????
Steamman333 5y ago
Same here man, being Catholic in life and schooling has kept me in a perpetual state of beta male attitude. I am now just starting TRP, less than 1mn as of now, and I still feel like im in this pit of self pity. I am just starting on the sidebar but I'm open to more ideas on how to progress in TRP. Mainly cause I'm coming out of a 3yr relationship and am kinda just realizing how little I know.
ihaphleas 5y ago
Now read Rothbard's 'The Ethics of Liberty'.
Frontestgecko 5y ago
Learning intersexual dynamics is just the beginning. As you continue to improve and gain mastery over yourself it will extend to all aspects of your life.
Graefinator 5y ago
I think if your mindset is to be the best you can be in all aspects of life, be the captain of your ship, be disciplined, the rest will fall into place. At that point "just being yourself" is being an assertive, confident, unwavering rock. Read nonfiction books and learn to navigate life with precision and dexterity
Lordarshyn 5y ago
I think I'm just coming out of the anger phase myself. I've known about trp for years and used to talk down on it because I was so blue pilled.
A few months back I got to actually reading. I went through the sidebar and like 5 books. Still building a foundation before I start Rational Male..so far i've read 48 LoP, no more Mr nice guy, win friends and influence people, the manipulated male.
Anyways, back on topic. The anger phase is pretty real. I was pissed the fuck off. I even posted here ranting about it. How could I have been lied to this whole time? How can women be such manipulative bitches? My WHOLE FUCKING LIFE was a lie. Man, I was pissed.
The anger passes.
Now I'm just hitting the gym, lifting, going on walks/jogs on off days, and just working on myself. Full blown monk mode.
The funniest part about that, now that I am prioritizing MYSELF, for me... I went from having no options, to now having a few "plates.". Now, I'm not pursuing them, because I have higher standards, but women are interested in me again, and all that's really changed is that my eyes are open to the truth and I am focussing on myself as a priority. (Plus I've learned how to handle shit tests better)
For many people, such as myself, it takes hitting rock bottom to truly be open to TRP. I had been sucked dry by a manipulative woman who I lived with. She leached off me to pay bills and give her a comfortable life. Drained me of all joy, while I worked to the bone, drank to cope, and got super out of shape. Lost many friends and no women wanted me. I let this succubus drain me of everything that made me myself. It took THAT, to open up to TRP. And as I read and read, I suddenly could analyze and understand EVERYTHING that went on with that...and how to not let it happen ever again.
Keep up the journey dude. I feel like this will all be very worth it.
oplock 5y ago
This 1000x's over man. Like you said though, the focus is now back on myself and working to make me a better version of myself everyday.
vivab0rg 5y ago
Your comment rang so true to my own experience. You truly have to hit rock-bottom and get over the post-blue pill rage, no matter own painful, to be truly awake to the red pill life. As I myself start this journey, I can already see how much this changes everything for the better. Keep it up!
pseudo_nemesis 5y ago
You know I'm just gonna say that "just be yourself" isn't bullshit. It's actually the epitome of alpha and not giving a fuck. You shouldn't try to be anyone else, because their methods might not work for you.
You should be trying to be yourself, but the best version of yourself. It doesn't mean no self improvement, quite the opposite in fact. It means do what you want to do, and you do want to self-improve.
Just my 2 cents, as being myself, IMO, has allowed me greater autonomy over my life and women and other people in general can pick up when you're not being authentic and nobody likes that.
Irinam_Daske 5y ago
That last part is SOOOO important!
But it gets forgotten all the time in BP environment and this always leads to men understanding "just be yourself" as "you're perfect as you are, you do NOT need to improve".
And that's why "Just be yourself" ALONE is bullshit
HiredMind 5y ago
"Just be yourself" is the male equivalent of "Fat Acceptance".
ramfex21 5y ago
The truth that most of us were socialised by this complete and utter feminist, gynocentric bullshit is a hard pill to swallow. But you are lucky!!! 90% of men out there are too weak to wake up and will literally die having spent their entire lives placating to women and being used physically and emotionally by them.
hirayama_ronin 5y ago
When feminists say they want to socialize boys into equality with girls, feminists ignore the fact that men naturally put women on a pedestal. So women get equality-plus.
Equality plus pedestal.
That's what feminism has been fighting for the past 40 years.
Not equality.
ramfex21 5y ago
Yea they want 100% equal fucking everything plus for men to continue bowing down to them like gods
swimminginblue 5y ago
Exactly, I try hard to resist the urge to enlighten my friends on this matter but I know at the end of the day they must go through the tunnel to see the light. Thanks for the input
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
You will find, that in time, you will make new friends... you will need to make new friends, as the old BP ones will just be too hard to keep around.
ianselfmade 5y ago
i'm gonna quote what you say hehe, i couldn't think of any better words to express that.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
It's so true. Classic example: warning a friend of mine about the red flags his fiancé was showing and pointing out the alternatives he had in life (eg not marrying her).
Result: he told her everything we'd discussed within a matter of hours. You can imagine what happened next if you know anything about women.
Weak.
infamous3238 5y ago
This is why I never discuss anything about sexual strategy with my blue-pilled friends.
Your_Coke_Dealer 5y ago
I’d call this a well-intentioned but fruitless attempt at saving this guy from financial ruin more than sexual strategy discussion.
In any event, you can lead a horse to water...
sadomasochrist 5y ago
TBF you should have known this would happen and poked to see if he was ready. I'm sure even something on the purple side would have tipped you off. I frankly don't know if I've ever seen it go right for anyone posting, but a lot of beers years later "you did tell me."
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Yeah, I know that now. I was very careful in my phrasing... but holy shit I didn't expect him to just parrot it out to her. This was pre-TRP.
haha right.
It probably does go well for some people who talk about TRP. I was told about this site, and that worked out pretty well ;)
TRPdoctor 5y ago
All of us have been there and had these same thoughts. The regret of your past will go away once you realize that most men will never even unplug in the first place. My only advice is to continue learning even when you first get that inkling of success with TRP.
For some reason this isn't talked about on this sub too much, but when you start to finally reap the benefits from TRP that is also the most dangerous time for falling back to your BP ways. I have been here since 2013 and have had some hard falls because of old habits sneaking up on me. It is really easy to stop "thinking" about what you are doing once you are banging a few hotties.
Don't stop hitting the gym. Don't stop passing the shit tests. Don't stop plate spinning. Don't say that you are sorry to a girl. Don't stop approaching. Don't feel bad for your success. The crabs in the bucket is true, even with your closest friends and family.
[deleted] 5y ago
Same boat here as well man. I invested too much time in oneitis too.
There's so much to learn from this sub reddit. Got sick of nofap forums. Everyone here is extremely motivating and just know how to deal with it.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 5y ago
Sure, but you needed to clean your mind and your body and be ready to start on the rest of your life. You can't do that with addictions (fapping, drugs, alcohol, porn, TV, video games) holding you back.
Once you have identified the issues holding you back, only then can you deal with them, and deal with you, to move ahead.
No one says you can't fap. What you need to be able to do is identify when it becomes a problem for you.
swimminginblue 5y ago
Yeah, my past oneitis brought me here. The angel who wanted to make me wait for sex, turns out had fucked an entire small town. I had so much hate for her until I realized that if it was not for her, I would not have been here or would have rejected these truths as reality. Now, I look back and think she’s the best thing that happened to me, I would thank her personally but my indifference wouldn’t let me, albeit she’s now blocked on everything, it’s liberating.
SKRedPill 5y ago
Suffering makes the man and pleasure destroys him. Pareto principle.
billionaireboys 5y ago
Glad you've found the RP. Otherwise you would have suffered from many more angels like her.
razioer 5y ago
People say "Just be yourself", when what they really should be saying is "Be the best version of you that you can be".
[deleted] 5y ago
Lying is when you say something you know to be false. There are liars in this domain, but you probably never encountered them.
You where thaught this by people who are genuinely stupid and oblivious to the Red Pill mindset.
Welcome to Idiocracy
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TheLanternFlame 5y ago
Yeah it is all a lie to us, esp the JBY thing. Govout there and improve, physically and socially. I got two plates now, cuz that's all I can handle. I know it sounds weak, but after two years of getting unplugged, it's much better than nothing at all. Never compromise for them, and learn to love yourself first. Once you got that, they're going to chase you down and bring your statue down, as they only know how to bring a great art down. Learn it all from scratch, and learn to accept failures as a step toward success. Keep learning, keep being hungry towards success.
red_philosopher 5y ago
When you realize that most men are subject to the crippling thinking of the blue pill, you are grateful to be one of the awoken. I ran across a young pair this evening while I was with a plate, and I walked over to them because they had been at the bar we had been at 5 (!!) Hours ago. This girl is a solid HB8, and I introduce myself to them and start talking. I get IOIs almost immediately from the 8 in front of my plate, who is more than happy to watch what is going on. I learn that the HB8 came onto him, and it took him 4 hours and 7 drinks to make a move, but I "interrupted" him. Ha. Beta orbiter for life. Don't be that guy :) and AWALT, AWALT, AWALT.
Killing__Time_ 5y ago
You were the ore. You took the pill and put yourself in the crucible.
You are now your own blacksmith.
It's harsh. You'll lose a part of you, that should never have been there in the first place.
But it's liberating.
I'm going through the same, brother.
Alpha_Jedi 5y ago
We've all be there, but the important thing is that you're here now. You can't undo it, but you can own it and use it as motivation to succeed. Cheers.
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Zachar1a 5y ago
This is the anger phase. It will pass.
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