Of course this gets voted down because you guys all believe in pseudo-scientific bullshit to justify your lack of social skills and ability to get laid. Go to the gym and stop whining on Reddit

I just found this sub and it's hillarious. I never realized there were so many sad fuckboys out there who don't know how to talk/interact with women.

This is BS. Its more as to 'why' you open up to a women. Vulnerability is a very powerful tool for charisma. Everyone likes an underdog story. Its a question as to why you open up.

If you open up to a girl so she will forgive you or take pity on you than thats the least attractive thing you can do.

If you do it to show a challenge you overcame than thats slightly better.

If you do it to build a deeper connection, its quite literally the most attractive thing you can do outside of sex.

In Models its paraded around to not be afraid of being vulnerable. Being mysterious is sexy but too much is frustrating. You got to show that who you are as a person is very valuable and only open yourself up to people who matter and when they've actually earned it.

More stupid advice, as long as your SMV is high you'll get useful emotional support. I've never been in a relationship where this has tanked it.

Energy is infectious. She is with you because of the way you make her feel. If you feel uncertain or scared she will be uncertain and scared. She doesn't want to feel like that. Do your worrying the gym or when you run. If you need to talk to solve your problem get a rubber duck

One of my current plates (let's call her Sandy) is bombarding me with questions at every turn. About my ex. About my past choices. About my life. About my other ex. Truly as 16 commandments of Poon says - questions she really does not want to know the answer to. Shit tests galore. That's what they are. If I make the mistake to open up (made mistakes in my life thousands), I just know she'd be turned off. It helps that as we hang out around my house, my cock in and out of her mouth (first time i ever had to turn down blowjobs .. Sandy is insatiable), she sees a card written by another past plate, a nice note she sent me for Fathers Day back in June - now THAT made an impression on Sandy - deep deep inside, she sees and smells the competition!

That's what you want gentlemen. Never take a woman for granted. Always be ready for her to walk away. Always keep her as one of the many (even if you think she's more special), and competing for you.

They drift apart and lose respect for you in my experience. I guess by doing so you shatter that stoic persona. I'm not saying don't share experience with your SO, but never make yourself too vulnerable.

This is hilariously similar to my reaction when I find out a girls actual cock count or weird fetishes (gangbang, dp, blacks). I think that both my reaction and the girls in those posts can be traced back to the same principle. That people bond with a partner whom they believe is above the flock. They want the person they are with to feel good. Women want to be able to submit to a guy and this is impossible if he's mentally submissive himself. Men want to dominante, conquer and control a woman and this is again, impossible when she's conquerable by anyone.

The symbiose shatters and the primary source of good vibes gets shut down the moment the other partner fails to measure up. You might try but you will never feel good about being with a whore. And women will never feel submissive with a beta. It's impossible.

P.S: I agree with your statement OP although i'm wondering if you can helpe me out with one thing. I never open up, thought it was gay from day one. I did forcefully trip for it once but the damage was minor. However my occupancy and job in the military put me in some unique and sometimes deflating moments.

Would it be considered opening up if I shared the shit I knew about and saw? I would obviously tell things from a stoic point of view but I will also state that it's harsh and challenging. That things are not always roses and rainbows in this world. Should I keep this serious part hidden from women and pretend everything is super-duper fun or can I let them in on the red pilling?

Models by Mark Manson. If she's your partner you should be able to open up to her. If you open up to her like a bitch and she leaves you, it's probably because you're a bitch. If you open up to her like a man, she'll love that such a strong, firm man was willing to show a little vulnerability and maybe even seek her input on his life. If you open up like a man and she still leaves you, she sucks and saved you the trouble of leaving her ass down the road. Long story short a real man can open up to his girl and a real woman will stay by his side and support him. If anything else happens someone's not being honest with themselves about who they are as a person.

Damn it. As a man, you can't show any weakness and have to keep this stoic persona up all the time. Which is exhausting to do for long periods of time. What's the purpose of having a girlfriend at all?

I enjoy myself chilling with some dudes over a few beers and games. Yet with a woman, it's a conscious effort to keep up that image by watching what you say and do all the time. It's a waste of energy and not too enjoyable either.

If you need sex, you can PUA. Or just buy sex if you want. Less strings attached.

I disagree to a certain extent. My gf started to think I was a robot. So I opened up a little and she loves it. It doesn't mean dumping all your shit in her. It means being able to communicate and showing that you face challenges as well but you always overcome them. If you turn into a soft mopey rag and you are done. It's all about being honest yet maintaining frame.

OP, I can more than relate. This happened to me recently. I was seeing this girl, albeit for a short while, who was rather obsessed with me. I quite liked her too, just not to the same extent (I've, frankly, rarely seen a girl who was so into me so quickly). We went out one day, had some dinner, then went back to my place to netflix and chill. We both netflix'd and chill. But I never saw her after that. The problem is.. I was having very much an off day, I was short on sleep, and I confided in her about some things that have been affecting me. When I dropped her off, she texted me that she thought we shouldn't be seeing each other. She made some good points about how we were into different things and how I was a bit self-centered. She also recently divorced and has been going through drama and admitted that maybe she used me to go through that phase. But the timing - me admitting some personal insecurities, for the first time ever, and her deciding "we're too different" - that is hard for me to ignore.

I can't say for sure if it was that which caused our break-up or one of the several other factors, but it has been quite a lesson for me and I won't repeat the same mistake again.

You wouldn't divulge your thoughts to a child, women are the same.

also, make sure the symptoms of your feelings/mood don't spill over into your interactions.

The hard lesson learned after being married and having to deal with life: When the fun stops, she's going to be looking for fun somewhere else (in this case, she found it in a guy where she could just "Netflix and chill"). This is where being stoic and keeping cool is important.

This reminds me of an episode from Friends where Rachel is dating Bruce Willis, a tough guy with a strong frame and doesn't take bullshit from anyone. She likes that he's a tough guy but tells him to open up, which he refuses. She nags him endlessly until he gives up and opens up to her. After opening up, she loses respect for him and thinks of him as weak then she leaves him.

Yeah it's a nasty catch 22. They always want to see our emotions until they do. And they wonder why HV men are stoic and stone faced.

 

Back in college I was dating this girl and we got engaged with the agreement we would get married if we still wanted to after graduating and getting our first jobs. The last year was hard and some serious family stuff and deaths and I broke down and she came home and saw me a mess. She comforted me and listened to my woes but later told me to never let her see me like that again because she could not handle how it made her feel. To say the least things got rough and testing and just before graduation we split 'as friends'. Less than a year after we split she married the youth pastor at her church then they went into real estate just before the market imploded ;p

 

Her friend has recently appeared in my sphere and probing me about my dating life and happy to see I am doing so well. I got to tell you guys its not a myth. I have had many exes or girls from high school that shot me down reappear since my mid-late 30s and confess they liked me but did not know why we never dated. I am not a big advocate of revenge but watching karma play out and saying no to alpha widows does make me smile.

Take it with a grain of salt. I have a really fucked up family(and gets worse day by day), my background is fucked up, my childhood is fucked up, but i overcame most of it by myself because i have to be the rock of my family. When i tell my Gfs my background and show them that despite all of it, i am here, stronger than ever and i am handling this shit, they will have massive respect for me. BUT the trick is if you need a hug or cry on someone shoulders, DONT FUCKING SHOW HER THAT.

Great post and I totally agree. It continues to astound me how backwards I've had it for so long. I used to always pride myself on being in touch with my emotions and being unafraid to share my sensitive side. face palm

Yeah I lost a girl by opening up. At the time, I fell into bullshit victim mindset and thought I had anxiety and I fucking told her that. Looking back I realize I was an idiot on both fronts lol but water under the bridge

If a girl leaves you for opening up to them you were already coming off a weak person. You just didn't realize it. Telling her your insecurities was just the icing on the cake that yep, he's a little bitch. Everyone has insecurities and issues. Any person with half a brain and maturity level beyond highschool will understand that. Having insecurities doesn't kill attraction. It's how you express them and handle them that kills it. It's not so cut and dry or either y'all are fucking with some seriously shallow dumb bitches.

what really irks me is how this is true, yet girls TRULY and honestly believe that they would not be like this with a guy who opened up to them

Don't do it. And frankly it's something I have come to learn is ultimately unhealthy. Like I feel some guys (I would include my former self) view women as a place to vent their feelings. Because women are viewed as more sensitive yada yada they feel it's appropriate. Also, for men, women's advice is generally crap but that's another issue

In my last relationship I remember chilling with my girl watching Netflix while her room mate had a dude over on a 2nd date sorta thing. I remember listening to their conversation through the wall and him spilling his baggage about his ex and why that ended. Basically him saying he let her walk all over him and 'she always expected me to pay for drinks when we were out together' basically admitting he was completely unable to stand up to girls. Just generally one of those overly deep chats I've been guilty of having a thousand times in my BP days that resulted in always getting friend zoned.

I said to my girl 'he's not getting any'. She giggled and agreed. Her room mate had a new guy over the very next night.

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Tbh, I think this sub has a 'broken boy' problem

Why is it that no woman is worth opening up to?

This just mathematically does not make sense

You're telling me there is not a single woman on Earth that is quality enough to open up to and she will not become endearing and supportive?

I'm calling bullshit on you

If anything I think it's all these guys in here (trp) have hurt egos and they just find equally broken girls and just blame the girl when they just do what broken girls know to do

Newsflah: If you meet a hot chick at a club/bar who's willing to dress that way or even get near you the first time she meets, obviously she is a slut and only knows one way to interact with guys: be abused

Sleep with her if you want, but when shit hits the fan (you open up because life), don't say we didn't warn you

If anything, that makes more sense then what you're saying

I'd suggest investing in something to raise my self esteem before I start pointing fingers, just sayin'

I don't find it all very convincing.

First of all, why do you even NEED a girlfriend who leaves you once you admit you have some sort of problem? I mean, as life progresses, you are bound to encounter difficulties, accidents, traumatic events, illnesses and so on. How can you even feel comfortable if you can't be confident your SO will take care of you in those times?

And two, all those "I opened up and she cheated on me" are pretty suspicious to me in the first place. Maybe she lost interest in you once she realised you were dishonest with her all the way. Hiding serious stuff is almost like cheating, if you ask me. Maybe you are super whiney and negative and she had enough of that (but that definitely wouldn't happen after opening up once). There really could be tens of explanations, as long as there is even any connection between the two in the first place.

Lost a plate last year by opening up when I got too drunk. It was going to end eventually anyway as she had a history of cheating on her boyfriends (with me). Once things ended she was sweet about letting me know that one drunken night gave her some misgivings. Wished her well and learned my lesson. Be sober and be strong.

This post just confirms everything. I also made the mistake of opening up to my current girlfriend (you can rip me a new one, lord knows I need it). But before opening up every fiber of my being was screaming not to but I ignored it. Blew up in my face almost immediately. The post said it and I'll reiterate: DONT OPEN UP TO A WOMAN. Now, tell me im dumbass.

Edit: currently counting the days till the relationship goes sour

FR.

OP is right. Guys I cannot state this point as important enough! Seriously. Here is why.

Been with my wife for 16 years, she was a virgin too. So as the years go by all is well and we do have our fights but with a little dread game everything was fine.

Then 3 months ago my business almost went bankrupt, 3 days and I would have been done for. So I made the mistake and told her all about my fears and anxieties. And guess what, she had an affair within one month while I was stressing my balls off about my business, while she was using my money to pay for shit for this guy, while she sits at home all day and I play Mr. Good Beta Boy Provider. Mr. fucking white night, I was even proud of being the provider until I came here (TRP).

After the whole thing she even said so herself: "it was fucking unattractive, you were moaning and complaining. And you just pissed me off". Here I was thinking that because I am such a good provider for over a decade, I get to have some support. Wrong.

Lesson learned the hard way. If a 16 year virgin relationship, "soul mates", fuck we even attended the same preschool - if that all can break down in less than 2 months, do what OP said. Also, this is the main thing as there are not much other problems, I am fit, I lift, I am well dressed, attractive, fun to be around; the point is I did not become a fat slob, I simply showed weakness.

I am now eating bags and bags of symbolic dicks every day as I am trying to cope with this, while trying to swallow the red pill. AWATS, even your virgin goody two shoes wife.

It wasn't a dig but that kind of misinformation can be detrimental to newer members. To think one or two drops in frame will result in their partners losing all faith in them completely. There will be times everyone falters but if your overall game is strong you will come out on top. Learn from the mistakes and grow.

There's a difference between being vulnerable and emotional vomit.

Holy fuck this hits so close to home.

Thus the assbackwardness of marital therapy.

The therapist and wife doubleteam the interrogation and coax out the mans insecurities and cement the end of the marriage.

The viability of the whole marital therapy racket is that it gives hamster food to the woman who files.

Now she has social proof that "she tried". Listen in on any brunch full cock riding divorced women. They celebrate how shitty their husbands were and feel zero guilt about estranging him from his kids or robbing half his net worth because "Muh Therapy"

I have to ask is it the opening up that kills the attraction or telling your girl you don't know what the fuck you're doing , what the fuck is happening, expressing a genuine fear or lack of control of the situation ?

I feel like women are ok with men being challenged but they aren't ok with a man expressing that he's buckling under the shitty stresses of life . It's one thing to say " Shit is hard but I will handle it" it's another to say " Shit is hard and I have no fucking clue what to do " even if the second one is true and I'm sure we've all felt it before.

a man needs to share and express his feelings, unless he wants to go crazy.

aaaaand thats what your male friends are for.

and maybe your sister or mom, but this one is not guaranteed to be a good idea.

I don't get it. Like is it really worth holding on to a woman if you're going to be so stressed to be something you are not? This just feels so sad and desperate.

Why the fuck would you talk about your feelings to another person, let alone a woman?

Don't you know what happened to Bluebeard?

Open bit by bit. Stay with her range or you push her away. Let her know you're human and you are aware of yourself but you don't expect her or anyone else to 'fix' you. If you can't open enough to connect in the relationship then there will be nothing keeping u together but she doesnt need to know your every fear and insecurity u ever had. We have privacy for a reason but the person best suited for u is the one who can actually SEE everything about you without judgment or needing to run away.

And not only this, 1 night i was feeling upset and i told this girl which i liked some philosophical things about how we are alone in this world. I told her i am having mood swings but i will get better.

Her reply?? GOOD NIGHT :/

WTF??? Yeah i was stupid, instead of sending some raunchy texts at night , i told her how i was feeling a girl on periods. And no text messages since then.

This might seem very cold guys but yes don't tell your insecurities to a girl! They can't do shit about it anyway, It's you who has to fix your shit ;)

How do you go about not answering the questions when they ask them though?

Like I really struggle with not answering questions in a way that leads into deeper questions etc etc.

Needing things from a woman kills her attraction, even though she finds it emotionally reassuring.

As always, her AF and BB strategies are in opposition. She wants security, but you giving her that security kills her attraction for you. (Don't worry fellas, she'll still be super attracted to other men while she's telling you she's "not in the mood tonight").

She's along for the ride, not to support us. The sooner we all learn this, the longer we can maintain attraction and the happy sexy times.

Women who are insecure about themselves need their man to be infallible. Modern Women are spoiled children that never grow up and never learn how to handle their emotions. If your feel depressed and anxious she will picked up on those emotions, panic, and seek comfort else where. In short, these women are weak willed.

A couple living on a mountain (or other remote location) far from civilization doesn't have a choice to be so weak. There are no other men to run to nor women to comfort her. She needs to support her husband to strengthen him and she needs to be strong of spirit herself to deal with shit when hes not around.

Modern women are lazy spoiled brats.

Mine left me after I was in a hospital for 2 months from a tick-borne illness.

She also had borderline personality disorder.

Fucked me up real good, boys.

You kind of need to open up to someone, likewise to a woman. It helps to clarify what is going on and opens space for improvement.

Personally after reading Models, opening up to girls about your passions and what you love or hate creates a great connection with them, and they're more eager to share themselves to you.

Of course If in reality you are weak as fuck and you are stressed and with low self esteem she will next you cause you show unattractive signs. So it's not that opening is necessarily good or bad. Opening when you are a high value man disarms the target very easily.

Nice post OP, I enjoyed the humorous delivery a lot. For those members who want to know how to talk to women, here are some tips. If you want to talk about your past you can do so, you can also talk about traumatic experiences from your past if you follow a few simple rules. First, keep the emotion the fuck out of the story. If you are emotional about it (including angry) then do not even tell that story. Example, your ex fucked Chad while you were at work. You can tell her your ex cheated, but make it clear that you simply moved on and act like it didn't bother you (even though you cried into your teddy bear every night for a month).

Second - You can use other examples from your past to show what a stoic mother fucker you are. Family member died? - you have such great memories of them and you were there for the family in the aftermath. Got hit by a car? - cute nurses at hospital and plenty of time to read your favourite books. Got fired by a nasty boss? - learned a lot about people and went on to the next step in your career. You can talk about your past experiences, but do not get emotional. Women are emotional creatures, she has more than enough emotions of her own. Pouring your own emotions onto an illogical creature such as woman is like pouring gasoline onto a raging fire.

The only 'feelings' you should share with a woman are the ones which come from your ruthless side. For instance "I feel like I want to choke you while bending you over the sofa tonight" or "I feel like every once in a while you need to shut your mouth and let me relax."

Yea, I feel you. Recently opened up to an HB10 and now she won't even open my snaps. This is after a year of being an oak. Never let your guard down, or she will climb on top of you to reach someone else.

This is absolutely the truth. My ex wife started shit testing me and my blue pill reaponse was to open up emotionally. Be vulnerable to other men. Women will run if you fall apart.

Ive been with my s.o. 7 years. Right now im unemployed since March, bills and child support stacking up every month.....While in an argument i told my s.o. that im stressed out and under pressure about how shit is for me and she told me she has no sympathy for my situation and fuck my pitiful ass life. Havent spoken to her since Saturday morning.

Point is when the pressures on and no matter how bad you want to get it out, keep it to yourself until you have some1 you can trust with your thoughts.

No offense gentleman but if the woman you are with is so fucking shallow that you can't ever have a bad day, you need to find another woman.

If you open up and she changes - you should start looking before she does.

Have been fucked before - had a fiancé kick me while I was down even after years of supporting her. Now am married to a wonderful woman and have opened up when I needed to and she has given me the support I need. I'm not a bitch about it and im still the man and still take care of shit and she knows it. And sex is still good. Turns out - my wife isn't a piece of shit.

Talk to any single woman - there are a hell of a lot more good women then good men out there - you have your choice. If you're in a non permanent relationship where the woman doesn't meet your emotional needs (if you have them), fucking bail.

This is complete bullshit. Imo there should be an age control for people posting things like this. Like at least 25. I would prefer 30 and up tho.

Signal weakness and you are no longer attractive. In other words, no one cares about your problems. Don't be boring. Don't be a pussy. Definitely be a dick.

More or less, a gf or wife is like adopting a child. Just like you have to be the rock for a child, you gotta be the rock for your gf/wife. In fact, you might start out with a dog or a cat and see how it goes.

Despite the noise you hear saying otherwise, it's a man's world and it always will be. Before you even get a gf, ask yourself: "Do I even have room?" Statistically, you probably don't.

As lonely as the radio silence is without a gf, that's not gonna change once you get a gf. You'll have all of the same problems plus a bunch of new ones that come with the gf.

Never reveal everything. Reveal just enough to keep her hamster spinning.

What exactly do you guys mean by opening up? Do you guys mean spilling your heart out to a girl you've known for a few months?

I've been in an ltr for a few years now and I open up occasionally but obviously I never have a victim mindset and I never open up more than she already has to me and I make sure opening up doesn't devalue my SMV. It doesn't really affect our relationship much but I could see how opening up and saying I'm a former incel who was mentally abused by my family and didn't get my first kiss till I was 20 and I hate everyone would dry any girl up.