How many millions of times have you seen (or been) the guy who gets into what looks like a good LTR, and then gets complacent and neglects the things that made him a fun, attractive person? And then starts overcompensating by spending all his time and energy on the girl, who gets bored and bitchy and then cheats and/or leaves?
This is why all these jerks keep chanting the defeatist cuck mantra She's not yours, it's just your turn. If you accept this, you have thrown in the towel. Go ahead and let some little girl decide the terms and when and under what circumstances the relationship continues or ends.
Here's a model for how to avoid that and still garner the benefits of the LTR without the drawbacks:
ALYAS. Act Like You Are Single.
Forget all that garbage you read in the usual posts about how to do LTRs: a humorless list of rules, virtual mate-guarding, and cyber-stalking the woman, all of which indicates a pointless investment of time and energy, which in turn implies an emotional investment which itself is a powder-keg of disappointment when the relationship inevitably ends.
There are very simple reasons for recommending this strategy. First, you maintain attractiveness. It's not a consensus view but my experience has been that women's sexual preferences are stable over time, meaning what attracted her in the first place will continue to attract her. Secondly, by acting like you are single you will create more attraction via mystery and dread. And third, it's just fun. That's why you were doing those things when you were single. Keep doing what you were doing.
For the autists and bloopers, I did not say "Pretend you are single." You can't make phone calls to other girls with her right there. You can't leave her at a bar and go off with some other girl. Have some human decency. You can't go home reeking of strange pussy. Although I have done that. But you need to be sure you can hit the shower real quick. (Also take charge of your own laundry. Don't be a babyman who expects his mommy/wife to wash his underwear.)
I don't mean this to be necessarily 100% all-in. You will not likely get the benefits of the LTR, which are substantial, by being completely aloof and unavailable. But you can take this as literally as you like, see how much she puts up with it, or wind it back a bit. Whatever works. At a minimum, acting like you are single should be your mindset.
This means don't stop hitting the gym, that's the first thing. But also don't stop doing all those good things you did when you were single. You want to hit the bars or go camping with your buddies, do it. You have solo projects, do them.
And, if you want to spend the entire weekend alone with her fucking like rabbits, getting room service and watching cable, do that; that is something you would do if you were single and you had a woman up for it.
When she asks "I'm going to visit my sister; come with?" you say "Have fun. I've got shit to do here."
This is not a hypothesis that I dreamed up and want to try out. This is how I have lived for decades. And yes, a quality woman will not only tolerate it, but she prefers it.
A word about ordinary human emotions: there is such a thing as mutual infatuation; it's a wonderful feeling (did not prevent me from fucking other women, though, which is a beautiful inoculation against losing your head). That can turn into what you might experience as love and devotion. I recommend cautiously indulging in it, if the opportunity presents itself, because it's fun. But know that it doesn't last forever.
You can enjoy this without the emotional investment that is so dangerous. You realize that she is actually not special. She is replaceable. You will also most likely notice that you are the one creating all the fun and excitement. She's just along for the ride, and to enhance the experience, as long as she behaves and you're not sick of her. This is my model for a long-term relationship.
I will now field questions from the peanut gallery.
Question: If you're supposed to Act Like You Are Single, what's the woman there for?
The woman is there to get fucked in the many hundreds of ways that a sexually creative man can think of. And she's there to be fun, pleasant, and interesting, which is possible despite all the rumors. Also, if you want to have kids, the woman is generally required at some point in that process.
Question: So you're saying Act Like You Are Single in the early stages of a relationship, but then when it starts looking real, you get serious?
No, that is not what I'm saying. I'm saying Act Like You Are Single while she gets serious. What she does shouldn't affect you, and if she doesn't like it, she can walk.
Question: So, Act Like You Are Single through the middle stages of a relationship, but if you decide to move forward and live together, then you start acting like a couple?
No! Living together is when you need to Act Like You Are Single the most. You need to get out of the house, stay busy, and create mystery. And if you weren't acting like you were single before moving in together, you might find it difficult to switch it up after.
Question: Okay, so Act Like You Are Single when you're living together, but then when the kids come along, you have to settle down, right?
Wrong again. Let me tell you just how extreme this can be: Act Like You Are A Single Father. Take the kids, go to the library, go to the park, kick around in the woods, go visit the other kids and their hot moms. When mommy comes home, have dinner, and then it's YOUR time. Do whatever you want, go to your workshop, to your office, leave the house, go to a buddy's house, to the gym, to a bar, go see another woman, whatever. It's that easy.
Question: What if she wants to act like SHE is single?
Not a candidate for a LTR. That is just a woman you are fucking.
Question: How do you keep HER from cheating on you?
You can't stop her. Stop trying, and stop caring.
(Cue up the MGTOW Tabernacle Choir, singing A Mighty Fortress Is Our Cuck. Guys, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to play, but I have had my fun.)
You can never be absolutely certain, but if you aren't 95% sure that she adores you and is devoted to you, then that relationship will not make it past the one-year mark. And if you're STILL worried about being cheated on: you didn't invest anything in her, did you?
(Cue up the Crab Bucket Chorus, singing Divorce Rape and Half Your Assets Brah! I don't care about that either. Nobody said get married, and if you're worried about the money, NO woman in your life should last longer than a few years, to avoid common-law claims.)
Last question: So, basically Alpha Fucks, on a long-term basis?
Yes. My experience is that women don't really care about money as long as you are a stud, and, as I've said many times, the need for comfort is really way overstated on TRP.
To be protected from the hard edges of life and to have fun is all women really want. If they want more, I really do not care.