Iv been on Red Pill for about a year. After reading all of the posts comments and Pm's, its pretty clear that a sizable part of our readership is between 18 and 20. Much of Red Pill's advice is calibrated towards older dudes, with a heavy emphasis on bar and club game. This is mostly because older dudes are the prolific contributors. Historically, teen sex is incredibly normal. However it's taboo and there isn't much information tailored to an 18 year old's needs on the internet. Luckily for you guys, nothing is too taboo for GayLubeOil. I got you guys. With this advice, you will have angry dads chasing you out of their homes in no time.
Asking for Sex: The main reason why I didn't have that much sex as a teen is that I didn't have the courage to ask. Its a daunting task. You haven't done it before. Its super awkward. There is a huge fear of rejection. Sex is taboo. Here's how to go about it.
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You look like the type of person who knows how to decorate her room. Teen girls spend a colossal amount of time designing their bedrooms. Showing you her interior decorating skills, is the perfect excuse for giving a dangerous braces blowjob. There is some plausible deniability in this one, so if shes not down you can just make fun of her for having a messy room and move on with your life. Most teen girls are pretty oblivious, so id recommend trying this immediately after making out with her in front of her house.
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I think I got injured in [sport] can you take a look at it? This only works if you are in shape. This exploits women's natural caring nature, curiosity and the teen girl obsession with abdominal muscles. Find a private room where you can take your shirt off in front of her. Direct her hands to your Adonis belt and ask her if this is normal. Once she's turned on from feeling up on shirtless dude, escalate to making out and then to teen pregnancy.
- I can make my penis disappear. I've actually done this when I was 19, and yes it worked and yes it was hilarious for both of us. "Hey so I have this weird talent but its kind of embarrassing", you say as your in bed stuck on second base. What is it? Well its realy embarrassing I don't know If I should tell you. You can tell me, I promise I wont tell any one. I don't know its really weird and I haven't told anyone before. I promise I wont tell anyone. Ok well I can make my penis disappear. What? Yea. I knew you would react this way. No its okay you can show me. Pull out the penis. It only works if I'm hard its weird I know. You have to help me. She helps out of curiosity. Alright I think I can do it. Slide panties to the side, insert penis into vagina. I made my penis disappear. Awwww Yeaaaa! Congratulations you just had sex.
How To get Six Pack Abbs: Cut out alcohol and processed food from your diet. Do High intensity interval training in the morning to get your metabolism up. Get a tan. Reduce your carb intake. Do crunches correctly: sucking your abdominals in on each crunch.
So for all of you guys that say that GayLubeOil isnt a positive influence, fuck you. I hope one of my teen readers makes his penis disappear inside your daughter.
alphaliftallday 9y ago
Yo, GayLubeOil. I'm fifteen and I wonder if you have any tips on girls that are this young. I've been lurking for some three months and I've read the sidebar, but it just seems like the girls my age are a lot less "slutty." Maybe this is just my perception, but still. Also, I've started to go to the gym a lot more so I'm in the top fifteen percent in terms of muscles in my school. Please help as I would like to become better with women and have sex more frequently.
[deleted] 9y ago
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troubadour1492 10y ago
"I'm only going to put the head in. I just want to see what it looks like."
Virginity GONE!
HolographicWhaleTail 10y ago
This is all really strange advice and I can't see this working.
BluepillProfessor 10y ago
Thanks Gaylube: I used your "I can make my penis disappear" line on my wife of 21 years who was protesting we had to put the kids to bed.
It worked.
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BluepillProfessor 10y ago
GayLubeOil makes my penis hard. No, I mean thinking about a 21 year old wife. So the latter- I have been married to my first wife for more than 20 years and sadly she is not 21.
christiefrontdrive 10y ago
For anyone here in their 20s who might be enjoying the opportunity to fuck a teenage girl, but you're struggling with all the years of bluepill propaganda trying to convince you it's fucked up to be sexually attracted to a woman who is at her peak of sexual attractiveness (you might need to read that sentence a few times), just remember what the problem with slaying young pussy is: the problem isn't that girls aren't mature enough to fuck at 16. The problem is our society allows them to be babies forever. The law might be 16, or 18, or 14 in some of the greater states. Know it and abide by it, but don't think for a second you're a weirdo for being attracted to some jailbait at the mall. The only people against fucking 16-year old girls are the guys who can't fuck 16-year old girls and the girls who aren't 16-year old girls anymore.
[deleted] 10y ago
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Humble_harpdarp 10y ago
Well said
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rpking 10y ago
He was aware of that. His comment was in response to christie's statement on a related tangent.
safewinter 10y ago
I agree. "Weirdo" is something outside of the norm. Pretty much every male I know between 18-30 will openly make remarks about jailbait with me (I'm 20)
Tony-Pajamas 10y ago
Huh, whaddaya know, creepy dudes hang out with creepy dudes...
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christiefrontdrive 10y ago
But sadly you've yet to write any for me to have sex with you.
[deleted] 10y ago
You broke rule #1... you haven't asked yet. DUH!
1talldarkandhandsome 10y ago
As a teen I would regularly "sneak out" and would convince girls to sneak out of their daddy's castle of chastity.
Once you get them out of their comfort zone they cling to you because most of them haven't ever done anything like this before. So take them on a little adventure.
This could be a sleeping bag on the school football field, your mom's van a neighbor's kids' playhouse/shed, your churches roof.
Once you reach the destination, fuck them.
Or at least feel them up on some PG-13 shit and try not to cum in your pants.
For you teens out there, I've done all of this. These adventures and the invention of the Ford Ranger are the reason I ever got laid in high school.
cismaleishmael 10y ago
This is the time to cum in your pants if ever.
1talldarkandhandsome 10y ago
Lol I guess you are right. It's way different to come in your pants at 15 than it is at 24.
[deleted] 10y ago
TMW you wonder if someone on here just inadvertently confessed to Ephebophilia.
TRPolak 10y ago
Here's my story. About 2 years ago I dated this girl in high school for... 11 months. Entirety of my senior year. Cliche as fuck, but when month 9 came around it was prom time, we go to prom together. Get back from prom, start making out, hands go down across the border, and for once she didn't stop me. Little Blue Pill moi was so excited at this moment. About 15 minutes, a couple climaxes, and some foggy windows later, I lost my virginity and deflowered this chick in my car.
Still drive the roommate around a couple times a week, and he has no clue what happened in that passenger seat.
Thanks for the poonmobile, dad.
1talldarkandhandsome 10y ago
I had a ford ranger that had the flip up middle console that turned it in to a bench seat. So many blowjobs in cornfields.
Electric air mattress and truck bed + warm summer nights+ cornfields and stars - adult supervision = highschool me getting it in.
massrabbler 10y ago
Air mattress in the back is kind of sketchy, but hey if it worked..
SpecialFester 10y ago
I hear a country song in that one.
ButterMyBiscuit 10y ago
Yeah dude, I was thinking the same thing.
Get someone with a cowboy hat in here and we've got ourselves a hit.
[deleted] 10y ago
Jesu I laughed pretty hard at that.
bama79rolltide 10y ago
I can only imagine what kind of Father In Law you would be, GayLubeOil.
Ogahz94 10y ago
im 19 and a vergil pls help
breakfastfoodforever 10y ago
The best most frightening kind.
[deleted] 10y ago
"You better be fucking my daughter the right way!"
wiseclockcounter 10y ago
GayLubeOil watching intently like a UFC ref "...nope, nope. that's wrong. move aside, i'll show you."
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[deleted] 10y ago
You just blew my mind. I've been thinking a lot about how father's influence their daughters as of late.
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[deleted] 10y ago
I fucking love you.
Fetish_Goth 10y ago
The interior decorating thing worked all the time back in my 20s when I had my first apartment. That's damn good advice.
I wish I could go back in time and get my 20 year old self to lift and try to be more fit, though.
[deleted] 10y ago
Reading this baked is the best thing that ever happened.
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Fhom 10y ago
Glad to see this GLO. I won't pretend you took my advice but indeed the quality of your posts have been 80% better, and cattered towards all readership on TRP recently.
You're gonna go far, kid !
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
I love how this post is actually filled with good advice though.
Science_isthenewcool 10y ago
I knew exactly what was coming, and I still laughed.
monsieurhire2 10y ago
Decent advice overall.
However, the consensus on r/fitness is that crunches are bad for you. It's better to start with planks and then work your way up to the ab roller.
As for teen-aged sex, here are my tips:
If you aren't athletic, you absolutely MUST work out. Since like most teens, you are a de facto slave with NO rights, and therefore no money and status, you're only asset is your body and your personality, unless you come from an insanely rich family that gives you a monster allowance, in which case, you're probably not reading this. Not having a muscular body in high school KILLED my game. I'm amazed I got anything at all. I totally relied on my "boyish" good looks, which some girls were into. But not being muscular was a major sap to my confidence as guys will always try to AMOG weak-looking guys to make themselves look better, and even if it doesn't work, it will make you feel like shit.
Get a lock for your bedroom door. Make sure to "train" your parents into accepting the idea that you will have "safe" premarital sex. If you are from a strict religious household, you'll have to wait until college to bring women back to your "place," unless you want to risk draconian psycho religious punishments.
Get money. How? Definitely avoid working a minimum slave-wage job. It's not worth it. Looking back, these slave-wage jobs were a waste of time. I would say do one for no more than three months to get the feel what it's like to be an employee, and then KNOW that this what all of them will be like. You ever see guys in their forties and fifties working shit jobs? Most of them are miserable. So how do you get money? I'd look at learning how to do day-trading. People will tell you that it's risky, but if you do enough research, you'll learn to manage the risks. I wish someone would have taken me by the hand and taught me how to do it in high school, but things were different back then without omnipresent cheap high-speed internet. If you can figure out how to make money as a teen, you will be a GOD amongst your peers.
rpking 10y ago
Day trading is a bad call. It is massively speculative, and unlikely that a kid will be able to succeed against computer algorithms written by full time mathematicians. Some simple entrepreneurship will put you in a much better position. Mowing lawns, creating your own website/youtube videos with ads, or creating a product for sale, all of these ideas are better and more productive than day trading.
monsieurhire2 10y ago
That's a myth. You don't have to try to eke out a living undercutting computer algorithms. There are plenty of ways to make money intraday trading, and I never said he had to only do intraday trading. Also, you can make a lot of money as a speculator, if you learn all the rules. People lose money because they are lazy and don't open books. They don't paper trade. They're not willing to commit. Most of my trades have been winning trades. The ones that were losing trades were due entirely to stupid mistakes that could have been easily avoided.
With regard to starting a business, do you have any idea how much graft can be involved with regard to permits, licenses, certifications, etc? Nearly everything is being professionalized to keep young people from earning a dollar until they pay tribute to a line of old people. Also, starting your own business can be very risky, especially if you're dumb enough to get suckered into borrowing money because you think you need it. My friend is still 250K in debt from lending his GF startup money. A single business can fail. Trading teaches you to spread your capital around and use it as a army to capture more capital. It also doesn't require much in the way of start-up equipment; a computer, an internet connection, some books, time and some seed capital.
rpking 10y ago
With the amount of brainpower on Wall Street, I highly doubt there are successful speculative methods not already invalidated by mass use of the method. That being said, it isn't bad advice to tell him to look into day trading as long as he is sure to test it with paper trading first. I'm never against someone attempting to learn a skill at no risk.
As far as starting his own business, we are talking about two different things. I am recommending lean startups that can be started with minimal to no capital, not businesses that are a liability risk or require permits/licenses. I feel really bad for your beta friend, loaning 250k, damn I can't even believe that.
monsieurhire2 10y ago
I basically told the guy all of the best materials that I know of: Intelligent Investor, Technical Analysis of Financial Markets, Alexander Elder's books, and Timothy Sykes' materials. I've actually gone through all of this material. It is gold.
Part of the reason people don't think they can win is because the winners demoralize them with propaganda to make them accept being losers. It's the same way women demoralize men into accepting all kinds of humiliating treatment. But we have a choice.
Think about it. How did Bernard Baruch avoid the crash? How did Jesse Livermore make his money? How did Timothy Sykes make his money?
Sure, there is some luck involved, but that kind of thinking won't help you.
I'm telling you, I knew this was possible when I was 17, but I never acted on it out of some idealism. Now, I'm acting on it, and I'm making money, and more importantly, I'm understanding the how and why of making it. There is a whole science to this. Computers can theoretically win, but only if their programmers know WTF they are doing, and computers can be hacked and disrupted. The computer-trading game is actually more dangerous than the human-brain trading game, because so many things can go wrong with a computer before you can fix them, and because computers can be hacked, and programmers can make mistakes, etc. etc. I don't worry about computers at all when I trade. I worry about the human traders.
Also, the Wall Street people aren't really that smart; they're just rich, and they hire smart people to work for them, except that these smart people are more or less castrated and constrained into specialized roles that limit their effectiveness as investors and speculators. The wealth is the main advantage they have. It allows them to take risks without psychological pressures, to ride out down-turns, and to diversify.
Mass use does not automatically invalidate a method. You can still take profits. There are suckers born every minute. While it's dangerous to assume you are the smartest person in the room, it is equally dangerous to assume you are the dumbest.
[deleted] 10y ago
How can a 17 year old entering college soon get into day trading?
monsieurhire2 10y ago
Read some books first:
Intelligent Investor - Ben Graham Security Analysis - Ben Graham
What you learn: The difference between investing and speculating. The type of work that goes into selecting investment grade instruments and the type of analysis used. Value investing.
Technical Analysis of Financial Markets - John J. Murphy
What you learn: chart patterns that describe investor / speculator sentiment over a given time period and can help with entry / exit points.
Japanese Candlesticks - Nison
More in depth explanations of a type of bar chart used in technical analysis.
Trading for a Living / Selling Short - Alexander Elder
What you learn: good general books that help you with the psychology of trading, because it fucks with your head.
Also, look for some Timothy Sykes Material.
What you learn: high-risk / high reward speculator strategies, which are the complete opposite of value investing.
Open a brokerage account, learn the ins and outs of how to execute trades. Paper trade for awhile to get into the practice of trading. Many brokerages have paper trading functions on their websites.
Read up as much as possible on every aspect of the business world, especially as it pertains to securities.
If you have lots of money, you may consider a Valueline subscription. Their reports are probably the best in the industry. Check out the free samples they provide on their website to see what I'm talking about.
[deleted] 10y ago
I think I read somewhere that you need to have $25,000 to start. Maybe I misread?
monsieurhire2 10y ago
I realize you are young, but think about what you just said.
Do you really think that if I gave you $25,000 tomorrow you'd be able to start? You'd probably lose it all in ten minutes. Even if you didn't, it would take you time to get up to speed on how to make the money. It's not enough to have the money, you have to know how to use it.
I doubled my money over the last couple of months; I could have quadrupled it, but I made some mistakes, some of which were actually for the sake of experimentation and learning. If you take the time to actually read the books, you'll understand how to do what I did. There is risk involved, but if you learn how to manage it, you will literally see opportunities leap out at you from the computer screen.
The whole $25K thing to start is not really a rule, it's more of a guideline. You can start with less, it's just harder, and there is less room for error. You wouldn't actually use your whole 25K to trade; you'd only trade half of it and keep the rest in cash.
The place where you would probably want to start is considered high risk, and that's the penny and sub-penny pump and dump scamworld you find on Twitter. You learn to spot stuff before its being pumped, and then take exponential gains.
Anyway, if you want to make money, learn about investing and speculating. If you ever expect to be wealthy, you'll have to do it anyway, and the sooner you learn it the better off you'll wind up. I wish I had started at your age, but wasted time going to college learning useless crap for jobs that never materialized and which I would have hated anyway.
The great thing is, you don't need ANY credentials for this. All you need is a brain, a brokerage account, some books, and the willingness to learn and work hard.
[deleted] 10y ago
Thanks a ton sir. How much money would you recommend I begin with? I only have a little more than $100 saved. I never had anyone to tell me the important of saving.
Edit: Also, here are two excerpts from two different blogs about day trading. Can you please elucidate what they meant by $25K to start? It looks like the law to me, but all I have are beginner's eyes so far.
"If you are looking to day trade equities in the US, you need a minimum of 25,000 cash. This dollar figure just allows you to get into the game based on the laws as stated by the Securities Exchange Commission."
"To trade an account marked as a pattern day trading account, a trader needs a minimum equity balance of $25,000. This can be a significant encumbrance and many traders do not have the starting capital required by law to maintain a pattern day trading account."
Once again, Thanks a ton.
monsieurhire2 10y ago
You can still make trade without being a by law pattern day trader. Pattern day traders are eligible for certain benefits and perks. I'm talking about making trades with your money. I think the minimum you could start with is $5,000.
But again, you don't appear to be listening. You are focused on the money aspect of it. It's not about having money, it's about learning ALL aspects of the discipline. The first place you need to start is with the books. If you start learning now, and if you start saving up the money, you could be ready in about a year. This assumes that you devote several hours of study to the subjects at hand a day. Most people your age lack the discipline and guidance to do stuff like this, unless they come from wealthy families.
If you think that you can just waltz into trading right away and start making money, you'll get your head handed to you. I'm not joking. It's a warzone. Trading is literally an arena that acts as a substitute for war. It's where wealthy men go to take money from poor men, and where smart men go to take money from them both.
[deleted] 10y ago
Okay. Thanks. I'll take your advice.
monsieurhire2 10y ago
As a corollary to that, read John Taylor Gatto on education. Google him. Many of his works are available for free online.
tldr: Take charge of your own education, don't be passive and wait for other people to spoon-feed you shit.
CrispoFTW22 10y ago
"Abs...Cut out alcohol..." This is why I don't have a six pack
viowastaken 10y ago
don't worry, all the exercise and diet related stuff was complete bullshit.
http://www.leangains.com/2010/07/truth-about-alcohol-fat-loss-and-muscle.html
http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/
and get a proper lifting routine with heavy squats, deads, chins and bench as the core movements.
CrispoFTW22 10y ago
Lmfao that's hilarious. Thanks for the info. I'll make sure to focus on those in my routine.
trpfieldreport 10y ago
I once was spooning a female friend who I had previously made out with but never made a move on beyond.
I grabbed a titty and she says "What are you doing?"
I said "Well.. I'm a guy.. and you're a girl."
She laughed. And moved my hand :(.
I did not have sex this night.
However, I do think that line would work if delivered correctly.
[deleted] 10y ago
You should have held her hand, held it down, then started making out with her. Getting to second base is a bit harder if you skip first base.
mikelovesvegas 10y ago
You could have refused to move your hand and said:
"me caveman, me take what me wants".... sex would have been had.
panzergling 10y ago
How about tonight, instead of co-workers, we be co-people? I'll be a man. You be a woman.
[deleted] 10y ago
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otaking 10y ago
Yeah, a little leg intertwined action and then something as simple as touching her kneecap and slowly moving up toward an erogenous zone, and then right before you get there, you pull away.
Boob grab is easier if you're nervous, sure, but you might as well punch her in the vag while you're at it. Same amount of sexual tension built up there.
SpecialFester 10y ago
punch her in the vag. judging by the character of women today, that might just turn into an accidental fisting.
TheStoneyVibes 10y ago
Seriously. I think theres an arousal touch guide in my saved list lemmie try to find it... for science. Worked for me last night
vox_veritas 10y ago
Never really paid any attention to it, but heard about it during my days lurking the mASF seduction forums.
David DiCarlo Escalation Ladder [PDF]
MachiavellianRed 10y ago
Sounds like you got friend zoned hard man. Never go back to that place.
arbyq5000 10y ago
no such thing as the friend zone, man
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
You get into the "friendzone" by your lack of tact or complete lack of balls to go after her in a sexual or romantic way. It's mainly about first impressions, confidence, body language, displaying desire for her, and not being afraid of being vulnerable.
Girls truly don't have the power to "friendzone" you. You put yourself there from your awkward, dishonest, and ball-less behavior.
Don't get me started on the "I'm a nice guy" shit.
EDIT: Wanted to throw this in too. What I mean by vulnerable is taking that risk. That risk is you going in for that kiss, that boob grab, or that hand hold. By taking the balls to do that and becoming vulnerable to her rejecting your move, you are not becoming very manly and desirable in her eyes, even if she rejects you.
If she rejects you after you do this, no matter for what reason (she doesn't like your personality, clothing, your voice, your body, or whatever) then be a fucking man and leave. Don't become creepy or forceful, because if you do, you're a bitch.
Also, don't try to change her mind or continue on like it doesn't put you off (this is why guys bitch about "Eh, I'm a nice guy!"). It is rare to stay friends with a girl who has rejected you. I mean it can be done, but if you are just looking for hook ups, plate spinning, or a ltr don't waste yours and hers time.
MachiavellianRed 10y ago
Which he did, observe:
Jaereth 10y ago
Fact.
[deleted] 10y ago
Are you implying that women litterally can not say no to sex no matter what if you're alpha enough?
[deleted] 10y ago
No I'm not implying that. What I am implying is that a women decides if she can sleep with you pretty quickly. Women's natural intuition gives them this ability. So, she will respond naturally based on your actions, not her mindset. If you beat around the bush and try to be a "nicey" in order to get into your pants, you've just bought yourself a first class ticket to the "Friendzone". Women pick up on that shit faster than a Bugatti Veyron reaches 60 mph (2.7 seconds btw).
If a girl doesn't like you or want to sleep with you, and you've been honest with your intentions with her, then you're going to want to move the fuck on, unless you're some piece of shit creeper/rapist fag. You won't want to be friends with her, thus no opportunity for "Friendzoning"
You can be friend with women, but at that point you aren't in the "Friendzone" you're just friends.
See where I'm getting at?
[deleted] 10y ago
i fucking wish i had gaylubeoil as my father
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12ToneRow 10y ago
Just taking a shower, dressing well, and doing some pushups would put most high school fellows ahead of the curve. One of the most striking things I remember about high school is that everyone was a slob. The boys more so than the girls.
nataliieportman 10y ago
This has me fucking laughing.
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cismaleishmael 10y ago
GLO I imagine that you look similar to this instructor dude in the video, same hat and voice, all that.
steadymotion 10y ago
I always imagined him as a roided out Ronald McDonald in a neon spandex suit with a permanent hard-on.
[deleted] 10y ago
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cismaleishmael 10y ago
Just some jokes my man...
Mrmaxmurder 10y ago
I'm pretty sure I've asked you this in the past, GayLubeOil, but I never got an answer. You ever been punched in the face? I would assume that if 10% of the shit you post here is true you'd have a lot of experience with getting the shit kicked out of you.
[deleted] 10y ago
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Wheyman92 10y ago
1/3 of ths is fucking retarded. I'll let the downvotes decide which part of it is in fact, retarded.
[deleted] 10y ago
I completely agree, but the more retarded the shit you pull is while maintaining complete frame control, the more attractive it is.
Darth_Pete 10y ago
I. Love. You. Gaylubeoil.
BluepillProfessor 10y ago
Very amusing and practical advice.
My advice to my son was: "Learn the Venusian Arts and understand women. It is not more difficult than a college class. Then develop your confident frame, become an interesting person, kick ass in school and football, lift weights, put yourself first, and learn game. He has read a few books and keeps asking for more.
GayLubeOil is giving some specific aspects of game- cocky, funny, confident, calm and collected. Here are the keys: Know that YOU are the prize, NOT the woman. She qualifies herself for your attention, not the other way around. Lead the interaction. Fake it until you make it.
THIS is the secret. It is the difference between guys who scored their first touchdown jumping up and down going crazy like madmen, and guys who score every week- and calmly hand the ball to the official, smile confidently, and jog back to the huddle. Guess which dude the girls like most? While the panty dampening is definitely caused by the guy scoring YOU CAN FOOL HER LITTLE HIND BRAIN INTO THINKING YOU ARE THAT GUY! All you have to do is project that calm, dominant, confidence that guy shows- you don't have to actually score the touchdowns!
Note also in each of these examples Lube is providing a barely plausible reason and letting the girl hamster the solution. In each case, the key is calm, confidence. If you are nervous about going to her room, or making your penis disappear, this will blow up on you. If you are desperate nothing will work. You need to be outcome independent (sure you would like to fuck her but if it doesn't happen that is not a problem) and confident, and plant into her brain that she is missing out by not fucking you. Make her curious and make her yours, and wrap it up.
[deleted] 10y ago
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BluepillProfessor 10y ago
Wrap up your dick.
mikelovesvegas 10y ago
Young men, you must remember this simple rule:
Don't be a fool, always wrap up your tool.
_grump 10y ago
This was satire right?
skippwhy 10y ago
Fuuuuuck
major_tom38 10y ago
You don't have I cut out alcohol. Abs are all about body fat percentage so you just need to create a caloric deficit.
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RedSunBlue 10y ago
This works on women of all ages.
If you are actively engaged in heavy physical exertion, some manly part of your body will be sore or tight and you will actually want someone to massage it. This makes it a genuine request, instead of a cheesy LMR buster or whatever.
"I pulled my x lifting weights the other day. Do me a favor and push on it."
I like to tell them to push on it because girls generally have weak hand strength and thus if they give me a "massage" the tight spots in the deep tissue doesn't actually get stimulated. It's also a great opportunity to give directions.
"No higher, lower, to the left, okay, now harder, harder, are you pushing? harder, ok that's good, [excessive sexual moaning]"
trying2testhumanity 10y ago
Good, because I was going to start using it anyway. I'm 22.
VienneseIdeologist 10y ago
I did this instinctively without even thinking about it lol.
seiken287 10y ago
LOL
[deleted] 10y ago
I knew a guy, he was so uneducated about sex, first time he got nekked with a girl, was sliding his penis along the crack, had no idea there was a hole down there to put it in. finally, the chick, put his wee wee in the hoo hoo, and he was good to go!
[deleted] 10y ago
What the fuck is this ?
eccentricrealist 10y ago
Actually that's one of the things I'm noticing a lot. There are many posts to help older men and college-aged guys but there wasn't ever much about teen sex. That being said, though, I'm already well-set for the following decades, which is awesome.
wurding 10y ago
give up alcohol as a teen? that's just weird
[deleted] 10y ago
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wurding 10y ago
maybe its cultural, but in the Uk, people who don't drink, don't get laid as much. Just have to hit the gym harder to work off the beer
VZPurp 10y ago
Alcohol hinders body and brain. You can't work that off.
[deleted] 10y ago
I would like ro point out that GLO had forgotten one crucial thing: wrap it before you tap it.
Teen pregnancy is a bitch to deal with.
John_Doe_Jr 10y ago
Your advice is good. I didn't do too bad in high school, but I could've done better with it. I think this George Costanza line describes it best...
StasisNation 10y ago
I'm pretty sure this is the best pick up line for any and all ages, ever.
[deleted] 10y ago
Right!
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zyk0s 10y ago
You are overthinking this. As men, we have the misfortune of having to guess when a woman is playing hard to get and when she's really uninterested. There's really no set way to tell, and you have to go with your gut. Additionally, a mistake either way makes you either a rapist or a chump. Society's made sure we err on the side of chump, so I wouldn't worry about most guys starting to force themselves on girls.
It's like relationship advice here: there's such a thing as too much asshole, but we don't talk about it, because the chances of a guy who's been blue pill all his life forget how to be nice with his girlfriend once in a while aren't exactly high.
Depressed_Insomniac 10y ago
Judging from the username I expected other types of sex advice XP. But great post anyway, I'll try those.
[deleted] 10y ago
all of these seem like they would just make her call you a creep and tell all her friends.
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bh3244 10y ago
ding ding
ManicMuffin 10y ago
Most important part of getting abs.
lepies_pegao 10y ago
hahaha you never cease to amaze me with your posts. c'mon no pictures? GReat job!
[deleted] 10y ago
Your name will become the biggest and best inside joke for TRP ever.
Calling it now
[deleted] 10y ago
I thought women riding the cock carasouel was a bad thing here? Why encourage boys to encourage girls to start at a youger age? I mean, yes teens are going to have sex but you're really not encouraging it in the safest manner. Sure your disappearing penis thing is funny and would probably work but there's really no time for protection with that.
So please, if you're a teen and are going to have sex, USE A CONDOM.
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PlantNutrient 10y ago
I feel like my post may have played a part in this being posted, thanks for the tips.
tig_old_bitties_baby 10y ago
omg the penis trick i m so gonna try that i know a girl who will for sure fall for that shit lmao
SolelyHighdeas 10y ago
Go back to recess.