So, once again, someone posted a link to, among other stuff, that tired old screed about how "everything is sales".
Then some other people started throwing around income numbers that were somewhat on the high side (a favorite trick for old men who wish to intimidate younger ones).
And there was a lot of very low quality discussion that followed. Guys who were butthurt about getting AMOGed. Guys who wanted to wave their dicks around about how much they make in sales, or about how they were a physician, and how physicians were just cooler and smarter than anyone. And a whole lot of sound and fury ensued, to no particular purpose.
Nothing of value was learned.
Having arguments, explicitly or otherwise, about who is "most alpha" is not only a waste of time, it's backsliding.
Why? Because people do it to make themselves feel better. They are selecting their actions, not for some purpose in the external world, but in order to adjust their own emotional state. They are trying to AMOG someone.
But what do we know about how to pass a shit test? You don't pass one by talking about how awesome you are. Everyone here knows that's a massive fail. It shows you can be rattled. That you have to prop up your self-image when someone attacks it.
Well, AMOGing someone on the internet is even worse, because it's doing that even when you haven't been shit-tested. Oh, it may feel good for a while, but it impedes your progress in reaching that state of Not Giving a Fuck.
Situational dominance is just that, situational. It's not a worthwhile end goal, because all situations change. If you start thinking you're "sooo fucking alpha, bro" because you make a lot of money, then what are you going to do about the fact that Miley Cyrus makes more than every TRP subscriber put together? Are you going to just try not to think about that? If you start tying your self-assessment to how ripped you are, and how much you can lift, what happens when you get sick?
The moment you start striving to "be alpha", you are no longer a man with a mission. You are a man trying to manage his public image.
Don't that, and don't let men who do that suck you into their madness. Even if they dress it up as red pill advice. Letting yourself be patronized erodes the confidence you need to pursue your goals, and worse yet, you're submitting to someone else's frame, which is precisely the habit you're trying to get out of.
Do not let someone else choose your goals for you.
If you start hearing advice that sounds like it's calibrated to make the giver sound fuckawesome, get suspicious. Is it really designed to help you? Or is it just an AMOG play?
If it is, treat as a shit test. Learn to laugh it off. Agree and amplify, if some other clever response doesn't occur to you. Above all, don't start asking yourself how "alpha" you are, or worse yet, answering that question according to someone else's measuring stick.
Instead, get your head unfucked, and work on being adaptable and unshakeable. You will never be the strongest man in the world, or the richest, or screw the most lingerie models, or whatever the fuck. There's six billion people in the world. Get over it.
The only thing you can do is get good at playing the cards you are dealt. Because your cards might be different tomorrow. Situational dominance means nothing. Because you can never have enough of it to avoid the need for good mental game.
nzgs 9y ago
Oh man there's nothing worse than the loser who literally chooses his entire career and life plan according to what other men tell him will get him the best income and best chances of getting laid. They think they are on the path to alphahood and brag about it to anyone who will listen, but they invariably end up beta bucks, marrying the first remotely attractive girl interested in them. Don't chase money and women, chase your own goals and let the money and women be a byproduct. This is why soooo many women married to wealthy rat-race providers end up cheating with the broke guy in a band, or the self-employed fitness instructor barely paying bills, or the writer desperate to land a publishing deal.
IDefyAxioms 9y ago
Everything else is on point, but I disagree with the point I bolded. I don't see anything wrong with going after money. Be smart and methodical about it, sure (i.e. get rich quick scams vs. smart investing), but it is undeniable that money is the key to a great many things in life.
I grew up very poor. When I got older I was determined to never become poor in my adult life, and as such always did what I could to make money. Again, don't see what's wrong with that.
Jaereth 9y ago
Great points. I think this is the number one take away most "everyman" can take form this sub. Yes, start with self improvement, but then once you actually improve, you need to realize you have a very new and different SMV. You are in the drivers seat now, there's no need to let some woman latch on to you. Even if it is someone who would have been "out of your league" previously in life.
xxTin 9y ago
I just to backpack on this comment and add a few things:
Unless, of course, money and/or women only is the only thing that you gives shit about. There are over 3billion men on this planet. I'm pretty sure these type of people exist.
If that's the case, dedicate your entire available resources, which are time and energy, in pursuing these things.
Let's face it, not everyone wants to save the world like Mr. Gate or connect the world like Mr. Zukerberg.
I, for instance, only want to have enough F U money to save myself, my IMMEDIATE family and ensure that my offspring have the best life outcomes.
My ego is not big enough to take on the task of saving the world like some people.
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Squeezymypenisy 9y ago
Their not saving the world. All of those charities are done for monetary reasons and public image. You get a lot of tax breaks for giving to charity and when it makes you look good then your business look good.
waylandertheslayer 9y ago
Some people enjoy giving to charity. It can feel good for a variety of reasons, including (but not limited to) being an expression of power and dominance (imagine a king handing out favours to his subjects), or as a status symbol (I give $LOTS to charity every year, what do YOU do?) or even as a legacy (people will remember Bill Gates as being the human being who single-handedly contributed the most money to charitable endeavours for a long time).
rpkarma 9y ago
Eh, some do care. Gates has pledged the bulk of his fortune to charitable purposes. And he's doing it in a smart way. Sure the PR is nice, but I believe him when he says that he cares about helping the world; I know I would in his position.
Whisper 9y ago
♂
You get it. You cannot become a leader by asking others how to lead. You cannot be confident by asking others how to be confident. You cannot become your own person by choosing your path to please or impress others.
Howasheena 9y ago
Yep.
To summarize:
A person is most cool when they are not making any effort to be cool.
IllimitableMan 9y ago
Yep, it's a journey of suffering, experimentation and self-discovery.
Scroph 9y ago
Isn't that why we read books though ? To learn from the experiences of other men ? Advice from more experienced people is valuable, but I agree if you meant that simply asking will not get you anywhere and that you have to put it the effort as well.
trpbot 9y ago
Confirmed: 1 point awarded to /u/nzgs by Whisper. ^[History]
[This is an Automated Message]
[deleted] 9y ago
Or by having rich white fathers with powerful friends and the resources that come with it. Or the experiences that gives you growing up.
So while you circlejerk on how you figured it out all by yourself like a man, where is that thread? It sounds useful.
balalasaurus 9y ago
A wolf doesn't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.
TravellingIndian 9y ago
A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep - Tywin Lannister
FTFY
balalasaurus 9y ago
Good spot. It's an old saying and comes in many forms though the point is still the same.
HalfysReddit 9y ago
AdmiralVonJackass 9y ago
Insidious approval seeking dressed in wolf's clothing.
Pinker has said that a idgaf attitude is showing that the person misbehaving is high status enough that they can afford to be in poor social graces with those around him.
If an alpha puffed his chest in the forest, and no one was around to be intimidated, would anyone give a fuck?
Of course not. We exist, whether we want to or not, within the context of our social standing. The alpha has even more to lose in his own mind than the down trodden beta, because he sees how low things can get.
"Never me."
skiff151 9y ago
Could I get a source on the Pinker quote? Not doubting its veracity, just looking to read more by him!
AdmiralVonJackass 9y ago
Was from chapter six of his book How the Mind Works.
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SgtBrutalisk 9y ago
Yeah, when I hear the financial speak, I just zone out: "I shorted my cock into her vagina and pulled out the stocks".
TheRedPilsner 9y ago
A confident man does not go around telling people that he's confident.
[deleted] 9y ago
If you're good you'll tell everyone. If you're great everyone will tell you.
shadowq8 9y ago
Yah I got attacked in this sub for pointing that out.
ExBluepiller 9y ago
You're placing a lot of emphasis on being the AMOG. A lot of people on TRP seem to. I've never understood why, I don't care if some randos perceive me as the "most alpha" (whatever that means) person there, I'll act and behave how I feel like. Heck, to me, that's what "being alpha" is.
Consider what you think being alpha is - is it how you view yourself or how others do? If it's how others do, then maybe reconsider how you've been going about it. There's some good stuff in the sidebar on this, check it out. We'll get there.
HumanSockPuppet 9y ago
The terms "alpha" and "beta" do not describe social status. They describe behaviours. It is merely a (often confusing) convenience of language that we also use the exact same words to describe people who display those behaviours.
/u/Whisper is saying that too many guys get hung up on looking alpha that they forget that the act of caring too much about their appearance is itself a beta behaviour.
For example, I couldn't tell you how many PMs I've received from guys asking me how I became an endorsed contributor, and what they can do to earn the flair. And I always tell them the same thing:
"I just woke up one morning and I had the flair. And you know what? I didn't care. Just keep focused on your life's goals. Keep lifting, keep approaching girls, keep sharing your RP theories and posting field reports. Keep living ypur life in a way that suits YOU and YOUR desires. And one day, you'll wake up to find the little endorsed tag next to your name...and by then, you won't care either. "
Alpha men are merely men who demonstrated a high ratio of alpha to beta behaviours. And alpha behaviours are goal-oriented behaviours.
Pick a mission that means something to your life, give it your all, and fuck anyone who tries to steer you unconstructively off course.
mirinrustles 9y ago
That's pretty much it. To me, that's what "Alpha" is in a nutshell.
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Dev_on 9y ago
I like alpha as a word because its good for a common language, but I'm finding lately that to many people use it as a vessel to fill with whatever shit some guy believes, and to throw at someone when they disagree
[deleted] 9y ago
Eh, it's more nuanced than just this. Like someone said, If attitude was all it took, we'd all be famous.
esco_ 9y ago
yep, a beta gorilla is not an alpha just cos he walks around pretending hes the top dog
Dev_on 9y ago
I like alpha as a word because its good for a common language, but I'm finding lately that to many people use it as a vessel to fill with whatever shit some guy believes, and to throw at someone when they disagree
SquareScrewdriver 9y ago
it had been that way forever in the manoaphere
Dev_on 9y ago
great. i guess the irony should be amusing :/
balalasaurus 9y ago
"Any man who must say 'I am the king' is no true king."
Tywin Lannister
qiang_shi 9y ago
"Something something something can't remember the rest, words etc"
ZippyTheSpaceMonkey 9y ago
If you don't have anything constructive to add, then sit down and be quiet rather than cluttering up this place with nonsense. Or leave.
rpkarma 9y ago
Or, at least be funny. That comment was just shit.
[deleted] 9y ago
Anytime someone posts "I'm a natural alpha" or "I've always been AMOG" it immediately shows that they are not
oldredder 9y ago
Not really. There's a lot of posts saying natural alpha doesn't even exist and since that's wrong there is no other possible reply. A non-reply degrades the quality of TRP as much as an inaccurate one.
[deleted] 9y ago
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abcd_z 9y ago
It ranks right up there with something I heard a lot in high school: "I'm very mature for my age."
The people who said that generally weren't.
thatisarandomtask 9y ago
I love hearing that. Always good for a laugh. It's like, how self absorbed are you? Next tell me how smart you are.
[deleted] 9y ago
What people often don't realize is that maturity is a spectrum, not a binary 0-1 switch.
iopq 9y ago
I never had to tell people that, but I do remember people remarking that about me. I think that's much more rewarding.
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oldredder 9y ago
the very nature of alpha is to convince others of being alpha - just non-verbally.
Dev_on 9y ago
Yeah, that's a non catchy way of saying the same thing.
iopq 9y ago
Shit, I'm beta as fuck and I don't care. I guess I'm a natural beta.
I don't have any desire to appear alpha. It's very liberating.
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Cyralea 9y ago
That doesn't make sense. Acknowledging something doesn't invalidate it.
Being humble isn't a requirement to be Alpha either.
[deleted] 9y ago
Being the alpha male is based on how everyone else acts around him and whether not they look up to the himas a leader. His words mean nothing compared to the actions and views of the people around him.
gimmetrp 9y ago
Here I'll take the opportunity to cite Rollo's alpha/leader/asshole Venn diagram. Apologies for no link, shouldn't be hard to find though.
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Searingcow 9y ago
The only person who is your "red pill pharmacist" is yourself.
[deleted] 9y ago
Personal question, when friends amog you somewhat, what should be done? My normal procedures is ignoring it but that has shown me that they start thinking less of me.
tag2man 9y ago
It's a shit test. Normally a ridicule type. Deep down they want you to pass and have a good banter, another level deeper and they intend to determine or reinforce who's top dog. Ingoring bypasses this and implies that they have total dominance. Would you give a shit about the tiny little poodle amongst the wolves? Ex. "nice pants, did your mum get those for you" "your hair looks too good, are you gay?" One up them, and it could turn into and endless dick sizing competition. Most effective is as op said; A and A, never take it seriously as a reflection of your self worth, dgaf and amplify to fucking absurdity.
[deleted] 9y ago
I'll try it out and see if things get better because I feel like sometimes they just don't take me serious. Today we were jamming on the guitar and I had a nice riff to show and they just ignored it until the very end, no consideration. Another example is when I voice my opinion they might look at me confused or with a hostile expression on their faces when it doesn't reinforce their vision.
They are awesome friends, no questions asked but the dynamic is a bit off in that regard.
waylandertheslayer 9y ago
Why? I mean from what you said (admittedly very little) they don't seem to have much respect for you, possibly because they undervalue you or because your true value is below them. Either case, you should do something to deal with it and not be the 'lowest rung', so to speak (this is from past experience).
[deleted] 9y ago
They are there for me when I need them, give good advice and are cool people in general.
waylandertheslayer 9y ago
Fair enough. Being truly dependable is a very valuable trait nowadays.
[deleted] 9y ago
at the end of the day... JUST DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO DO!
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semondemon24 9y ago
Thanks for this post. There is a lot more to what you are talking about than what is typed. This is differentiating true men from egotistic human beings trying to maintain a good mental image.
[deleted] 9y ago
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Whisper 9y ago
You may be on to something there. There are few people easier to make a buck off of than somebody who's trying to convince people he's a bigshot by showing off how much money he has.
HumanSockPuppet 9y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Rich
chrisindub 9y ago
Nothing is more beta than attempting to appear alpha on reddit.
Fuck_shadow_bans 9y ago
Actually just ignore it. At least on /r/theredpill. Otherwise you get banned, because somehow that makes fucking sense.
sir_wankalot_here 9y ago
Everything is sales, what exactly does sales/marketing do ? Think about it for a moment.
DrXaos 9y ago
Get rewarded for it quantitatively.