http://aaronsleazy.blogspot.com/2015/01/found-on-rooshs-forum-guy-does-3000.html
Cold approaching is retarded.
The low success rate will fuck up your mindset and turn it toxic. See how the PUA's that advocate for cold approaches are the most hate-filled, like Roosh.
It's also unsustainable. Cold approach enough in one area and you will quickly gain a reputation as a creep and a loser, and no one will want anything to do with you. God help you if you're a college student and you find this PUA stuff. Spend a week approaching on your campus and you'll quickly become a pariah; you will never live down the rep and may have to transfer to another school. The only time cold approaching is sustainable is if you live a nomadic lifestyle, moving from city to city, leaving as soon as you overfish and gain some local notoriety as a PUA, which is exactly what Roosh does.
It also leads to a stressful form of cognitive dissonance. When you get worn down from the frequent rejections and become bitter and woman-hating, what's the PUA advice? Approach more. So now you have a dude who absolutely hates women but spends all his time approaching them, or obsessively thinking about it. That's like a car salesman absolutely loathing anyone that steps on his dealership's lot, then spending all his time lying through his teeth to make sales to these people he can't stand. Only the worst of psychopaths can sustain that kind of two-faced manipulation, and that's why these PUA's study, lionize and emulate legitimate psychopaths, con artists, and the like.
Girls want a nice, normal, charming guy that turns them on. That's it. If you see a chick in a bar and you are a nice, normal, charming guy that turns her on, she will make repeated eye contact with you and you can just walk up to her and say "Hi I'm ____" and it's a done deal. Seduction is a simple process and it's easy. PUA's needlessly take this simple process and make it into a series of imaginary chess matches, then pat themselves on the back for being good at these imaginary chess matches that don't even matter in the first place.
[deleted] 9y ago
there is what I meant from http://no-maam.blogspot.sk/2004/05/bonecrcker-132-finding-and-approaching.html
You can’t ask a woman for anything because it gives her too many points. You need to use body language and only approach the ones that matter. And you can’t be direct about it.
The basic behavior goes like this. Go places where you are likely to meet women (either go where women go or go where women go to get picked up). Make eye contact with every woman that crosses your path. Most women will not meet your gaze. Some of them will. After holding their gaze for just a second or two more than is socially appropriate, look away (not down, away). She might look down and away too, which is OK. After a few seconds, try to catch her gaze again and see if she locks gazes with you. Smile and nod to her if she does. If you feel aggressive, wink. If she holds your gaze this second time for an extended period of time and/or starts clustering body language signals of interest (read the book, Body Language by R Don Steele), that is one of the 1% of random women that will have sex with you right now, if you approach her correctly. It’s extremely reliable.
Approaching correctly means that you come near her tangentially. You seem like you are actually doing something else. For example: You see one of these women in the mall. Don’t go right up to her. Go near her and pretend to shop or look at something interesting. You strike up a conversation by noticing something about her and commenting on it and then asking a question. For example: "That’s a very nice sweater you are wearing. What’s the story behind it? Blah, blah, blah." Understand that women are completely self-involved. So shut your yap and look like you are paying attention and listen for cues for other getting to know you type questions. Tell her almost nothing about yourself other than your name and give her every opportunity to tell you even the most inane blather about herself. She’ll think you are the most brilliant, interesting man on the planet. When you can’t take this anymore, interupt her with some version of, "I have to go, want to come with me?" Whoops, I have to go home now and cook dinner and feed my cat. Hey, you know I making this great rice dish called Arroz con Pollo. I learned how to make it from this sweet old lady while I was vacationing in Puerto Rico. Come have dinner with me. We’ll watch this video I’ve been meaning to see……The English Patient; I think it’s called (hehehe).
The point here is she has already decided she wants to come home with you to have sex. But she doesn’t know that you know that. And, she absolutely cannot face this fact without a convenient excuse that she is actually going over there for something else and the sex is just spontaneous. Make no mistake, once you get her home, she’s the one who will likely be the aggressor, or will need very little prompting. If you get any resistance at all, it’s time to cut and run because you screwed something up, probably misjudging if she was a one percenter. A lot of women will show casual interest. But it’s the one percenter that will show focussed, intense interest. They are practically drooling.
There really is no work involved in finding her, other than in going to those places you are likely to find her. Don’t stay; don’t waste your time with pointless crap while there. Whatever you do don’t pay a cover or anything (if you go for the band or something, that’s me time and you should ignore women). Just recon the place looking for one percenters. Leave and move on to the next place if you don’t immediately find a hit. Get in the habit of scoping out chicks all the time, but set aside a specific time each week where you zoom through several hot spots every week. Don’t stay and waste your time. Show up, look, and if nothing is there…..leave.
After the first few times, it’s easy. The first few times are hard because you screw things up and it’s hard to initiate things because you don’t really think things work this way. Instead, you think all women are judging you and rejecting you (and 99% of them are). Until you sleep with a few, you don’t know that 1% is there for easy taking. I say the same thing to all my guy friends. Try it out a little at a time. The easiest part is scoping these women out. Go places and try the eye contact bit. Don’t follow up on it. Just try it out and see for yourself what I am talking about. After you are comfortable doing this for a few weeks, try occasionally saying Hi to one of them. Nothing complicated. Just Hi. You’ll be shocked at the result and soon, you’ll be doing the rest.
And for God’s sake, don’t give the time of day or anything else, not the slightest bit of respect, not a shred of time or effort, to any woman who isn’t one of these. A woman who isn’t sexually interested in you should be totally beneath notice. No staring at her tits. No talking to her. She’s invisible. Women are sweet as pie when they are in acquisition mode (you being what they wish to acquire) but they are evil incarnate every time else. Only extremely high probability babes deserve even an ounce of your time. Everyone else is wasting it.
Screw em.
[deleted]
RedHeimdall 9y ago
Slow down there, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I'm assuming you're in college, and yes in that environment you don't want cold approaching to be your main way of doing things. Social circle is probably king there, and is always good whatever the environment.
But post college, most guys are not going to meet enough cute, new girls on a regular basis to keep them satisfied through social circle alone. They're going to have to approach and start conversations with random girls they don't know.
As for this guy's story, I'm dubious. If it's true, he must be incredibly socially retarded and unbelievably awful at learning from mistakes. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
I think you can rightfully criticize PUAs for largely ignoring SMV, for placing too much emphasis on "fake it" and not enough emphasis on "make it," among other things. But for the vast majority of guys cold approaching is a necessity, outside of specialized environments like college.
[deleted] 9y ago
I'm not in college. I'm a few years post-college.
I have a good, varied sex life because after quitting both online dating and porn I got good at noticing when a girl checks me out when I am walking around. When your sexuality is tied up to the internet it dulls your real-life instincts and you miss out on a lot.
If a girl unconsciously glances at you or your body that means that her hindbrain is into you and anything you say to her will be well-received. For a demonstration watch this video of girls checking out a guy walking around: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdIAa6gnaco Take, for example, the girl on the bench who repeatedly glances at his bicep and licks her lips: she's into him.
I've helped my buddies get laid just by being aware, informing them "hey, the blonde over there just checked you out" etc, since they are totally oblivious to these signs, as most guys are.
RedHeimdall 9y ago
What you're talking about does fall under "cold approaching" though, at least from the PUA stuff I have encountered. They talk about looking for indicators of interest before you approach, like if she moves herself in proximity to you, makes repeated eye contact or holds it for a while, smiles at you, etc. Looking for those indicators before approaching is a part of "cold approach" as I understand it.
[deleted] 9y ago
See, what you just said is perfectly reasonable, but that's not a cold approach.
PUA's do not tell you to look for indicators of interest first. You go in cold, hence it's a cold approach, like a cold call in sales. Really it's just panhandling with your dick.
Cold approach is talking to a girl you don't know even though she's given you no indication that you should do so. It's walking behind a girl and tapping her on the shoulder at the bar. It's interrupting two girls chatting at Starbucks. It's getting in a girl's way as she's rushing down a busy downtown street and telling her she looks foreign because she has "crazy hair" and "crazy eyes" (which is, I am not joking, Krauser's "technique"). It's walking up to a girl with her arms crossed and asking her where the pet store is (Roosh's "game").
These are all things pickup artists and "game gurus" tell you to do. And if she has a "bitch shield" because you've inconvenienced her, just remember that she's an irascible cunt due to feminism, and that you have to stay in "state" and move on to the next one.
HellhoundsOnMyTrail 9y ago
The biggest problem that the PUA community has, and OP didn't mention this, was that this guy was going out for the sole purpose of meeting girls. He wasn't just coming upon them in every day life, he was going out to find them. Screaming of neediness. Instead he should have been building an awesome life and giving positivity to everyone around him. He didn't. He also didn't work out or do anything to improve himself as a person. I really have no pity for this guy. Approaching helps but improving yourself and feeling good about you is the point more than anything.
LongtimeRPLurker 9y ago
It's simple. Natural selection means that some people don't get to have sex. No amount of game can get rid of the pressures of evolution.
Mihawk01 9y ago
Either he is on some kind of a wind up, or he just keeps doing things wrong, like really wrong. If it is the 2nd one, he needs some "pro" to give him some feedback, because he probably does not understand what is the obvious wrong thing he does. Also, if approaches don't work too well (everyone has an off day), just relax and instead of approaching to get numbers, just chat to girls, or men for that matter, whatever, just get your groove on. He probably didn't do that either.
nuc22 9y ago
Someone's lying. I have seen fugliest of guys getting laid.
thinktankman 9y ago
I can't lie being 6'5 is not fucking bad
[deleted]
[deleted] 9y ago
You always have to balance reflecting and doing. If you're just reflecting you're not giving your mind enough input to reflect about and the conclusions you find will be further from truth. If you're just doing you have no idea what you're doing. This guy was just doing.
Cold approaches are good at times, but you need to be at the right place and the right time and you need to be good at it to have any kind of success. It can also hurt your ego, which is never a bad thing, but if you keep doing it unsuccessfully without improving or reflecting you're just masochistically punishing yourself. For no reason. The core definition of stupidity is failing again and again and not changing method.
[deleted] 9y ago
Let's look at the assumption that getting your ego demolished by cold approach is good for you.
Let's say it's Saturday and you're invited to a friend's birthday party at 9PM.
A) You're into PUA. You make 10 cold approaches an hour before the party and get one number; mind you, 10% is actually considered a good result in PUA circles*. Still, you conclude that based on your results, 90% of chicks find you unacceptable, and you feel ugly. Feeling ugly, you go to the party but don't talk to the girls there.
B) You've never heard of PUA. You play baseball with your friends before the party then head there afterwards with your ego intact. You talk to girls with whom you have mutual friends and get some numbers.
Why's A better than B? Girls go to parties to meet guys. You're going to do way better at the party if your ego hasn't been demolished by the cold approaches.
The idea that getting your ego crushed by cold approaches is good for you is a PUA myth, created by guys dependent on you believing PUA myths for their income.
*Cold approach rates are so brutal that even PUA's that write books on the subject pay actresses for their infield videos-- see http://www.puaforums.co.uk/general-chat/19829-fraudulent-tom-torero-kiss-close.html. This dude's a prolific "game" author and he still has to pay a woman money to flirt with him.
sir_wankalot_here 9y ago
You preselect the women before you approach. So look for women that look horny, bored or both. That way you increase your odds dramatically.
Or if you just want to ask women to dance, look for one that is tapping her feet or moving to the music go ask her to dance. Usually she is with some friends, after you dance with her, ask her friends to dance also. Then when you dance with each woman see how she reacts, the ones that react positively you go after.
[deleted] 9y ago
Option B is leaving a fragile ego intact. Option A is making yourself stronger. There's no point being protective about something that is of low value, such as an untested ego. Every chance not taken is a chance lost. But there still is a balance of taking chances and not wasting your time on approaches that cannot work.
cocaine_face 9y ago
I agree with this. When I started approaching in clubs was the first time I really dealt with the sexual marketplace on a visceral level. It really teaches you important lessons on how to relate to people, and unlike most aspects of life, there's also a potential for violence in a club (and I honestly recommend you at least get into an intense stand-off, if not a bar fight)
cocaine_face 9y ago
Cold approach, if you're unskilled, will not lead to any dates and will burn through your pile of available women - if you do it too intensely (but even then, in my experience, you can get away with a LOT - I've called girls dirty trashbags before - with a positive response. It all depends on the girl).
If you're skillful, it's actually pretty decent at generating new contacts. You have to make everything seem natural and not robotic. I cold approach at Starbucks relatively frequently and get new contacts. When I put actual effort into a contact I get the number from, my ratio is well above 10% to at least get a date/hangout. Banging is probably around 10% however. Could I improve that number? Yes, I think it is possible.
Not too long ago I went to a club by myself, approached only two girls, and I screwed around with both of them less than a week later. That's not necessarily -typical-, but it assuredly isn't atypical.
It's a great way to get more comfortable talking to girls.
I want to say I approached over 1000 women, and I'm only the better for it. After a while, the rejections don't hurt (After the first three girls you talk to in a club, you're in a good mood). I really recommend this process to a decent chunk of men (not at a college, but otherwise).
If you haven't tried it - definitely try it. Nothing will get you out of your shell like talking to a ton of girls. And anything a person tries to get better at enough, they will get better at.
Philhelm 9y ago
Exactly. It's like Experience Points in an RPG. You start off killing rats but can eventually take down dragons.
cocaine_face 9y ago
Seriously, the first time you have a very hot girl chase after you in a club, you're hooked. Even if you don't sleep with her.
When I first started I had a hard time committing or even dating because I knew a girl I considered out of my league would just be garden variety in a few months.
A girl I considered, "hot" at my work when I started, was, a year later, below my standards for a long term relationship. It was crazy, my perception of my value skyrocketed.
I guess if you've got an absurdly low base SMV it might not work, but I'd say mine is below average (I was incredibly skinny, short (5'8")) and I still did phenomenally well. Anyone who has a mismatched perception of their SMV (I thought mine was far lower than it was) will have that disillusion immediately corrected.
Furthermore, it absolutely kills scarcity mentality. Even if I let myself get rusty with approaching (as I have while working on projects in my free time), you still retain some skill, and getting back your top skills only takes 3-4 weeks.
Plus, having a soft harem is great. Just keep them mildly pissed off at you, but with the idea that they can win you over some day.
InferiousX 9y ago
Dude wasn't terrible looking but 5'2" is pretty short. I'd be interested to witness one of these supposed 3k approaches.
If he was halfway decent he should have got some respectable numbers out of that just by the sheer law of averages. The one year he said he did 1000 approaches in a year. That's almost 3 new girls a day. Even on a cold streak i'd hope one could at least land a new FB within a week.
[deleted] 9y ago
The guy is painfully average in appearance and way too short. He could have done something to offset the height deficiency but he hasn't. He's mildly overweight and out of shape, he doesn't shave his balding hair nor his face, and his fashion sense is awful. I can imagine his sheer desperation radiates from him. His post certainly gives me that impression. Looks aren't everything but it is a major factor. People love to be in denial about physical attraction and this guy is definitely one of them.
When a woman looks around the room upon seeing this guy, 99.9% of the time there will be a better man more worthy of their attention. The guy is just something that woman do not want to be associated with. There is no reason for women to want to be associated with him. None at all.
InferiousX 9y ago
Everything you mentioned except the height is fixable. That's what I don't get is that you'd think after that many approaches and failures he'd think "maybe I should work on something besides openers and NLP"
Meglomaniac 9y ago
could wear shoes with a couple inches of lift on it.
ForYourSorrows 9y ago
An inch At most. I've seen short dudes who wears bigger than that and it's painfully obvious. (When you have a giant fucking thick part on your shoes below your "shoe")
schema9000 9y ago
This idiot actually thinks the "lack of physical touch from women" causes baldness.
Anyway, whatever you think about "game", its proponents see it as a discipline, a craft of some sort, much like preparing sushi or making canoes. What is the hallmark of competency in any discipline ? Success.
Imagine a guy that claims he has learned how to make canoes. Imagine the same guy then telling you he made 3,000 canoes over 10 years and that none of them float. Has this guy learned to make canoes ? No. He's a fucking idiot, probably repeating the same mistakes over and over.
I know most humans have not been blessed with the Faustian bargain of introspection but damn, that's some fucked up shit.
ForYourSorrows 9y ago
Why is introspection a Faustian bargain?
bobbatosakosanose 9y ago
I swear to god. I work with a woman who is morbidly obese. Like 380 pounds or above at 5'2. She is married to a decent looking guy of about 6 feet tall. Her attitude is nasty too. Everyone hates her guts because she is a complete bitch. But she has an avg looking man who drives a new Honda and has a house and the whole shebang. She has a son with him.
I knew the eggs were expensive, buy dayum, after seeing this. I didn't know they were that expensive.
[deleted] 9y ago
The pedestal was forged from the broken dreams of desperate men.
2comment 9y ago
Way too much to read. A lot I don't agree with all over the place, including the OP, the link, and Roosh's forum.
This guy's mindset is all wrong. He is pedastooling pussy just in the way he lives, breathes, and thinks, where he succintly stated as:
He is all of 28, come on. This is a blue pill mindset to its core. It's clingy. It's needy. It's the fantasy that finding love will make him happy. And that will bleed out all over the place for people to see. You're making women the number one priority in your life and that dries up pussy fast.
And the approach. Even if you never approached women, unless you're a hermit, you do approach people every day for some type of transaction. For a job. For friendship. Whatever. If these type of approaches all continually ended in rejection, at some time you need to step back and evaluate the whole situation and what is wrong with you.
I'm not fully versed in PUA, but I suspect their thinking begins with the first words, they evaluate the conversation snippet by snippet like it's some mathematical formula they did a wrong step on, and then resolve to play the game slightly differently the next time, as if all were some flowchart. That's not enough depth nor understanding.
After 10 straight outright rejections, a guy has to step back, see how he can increase his SMV, and then focus on that instead for a time. I bet he doesn't even have guy friends or a social circle of any kind to offer social proof.
This guy needs to do 1 thing, 2 different ways. Completely forget about pussy for a while and focus on himself. First, improve his body. And improve his life via friends, hobbies, projects, or work.
doritoesNcoffee 9y ago
Yea he needs a serious makeover. He's 28 but looks well over 35.
[deleted] 9y ago
If I started playing in the big leagues right now and swung for the fences every time, in 3000 years I'll never hit a homerun, but I'll pop a few flyballs into stands behind me. This dude sounds like he was trying to play ball like a pro and should of stuck to T ball if he wanted to get to first base. Who the hell counts that many rejections? That can't be healthy because with each failed attempt the thought of failure increases each time.
sir_wankalot_here 9y ago
Exactly start in the junior legues work your way up. If the guy is a 5 but young, lets say 25 or so. He should go for women who are 4-6 or women that are hitting the wall or post wall. So find a bars where older women hang out go after them. If you approach 1000 cougars you have to get laid. Along the way you improve your game. After you get more experience you start shooting higher.
Also success creates success. And women can somehow sense if you are getting laid. When I had a gf women always seemed to be more interested in me.
If you are ugly, you can still be fun and interesting. This does a heck of a lot. Even ugly people can be fun and interesting. Learn how to dance or pretend that you know how.
When I was 22 I was screwing women who where close to twice my age. Heya those women taught me a lot. Then as I got older and got more experience, I started to go after younger women. If you are young screw anything that is female to get practice on approach.
Pretty much that is all I did. If you are fun to be with, amusing and entertaining people will enjoy your company and you can get away with a lot.
I went to a normal bar with some friends last week and I still managed to collect 3 numbers from women who where half my age and I told them I am married. One of them was when I was leaving the bar, I saw some chick and then started talking to her. She then said I was a good dancer and asked if I wanted to dance. I appologized and told her I am tired and my friends want to go home. Anyway I got her number. When I get numbers I usually ring their phone to make sure they give me right number.
My friends take me to the bar because I am fun to be with and half the time they even buy me drinks.
One of the women after I texted her kind of flaked out. The second woman she I am atill flirting with her on text, she has pretty much agreed to meet up, I have not decided yet if I will yet. The last woman I met outside the bar, I am not sure exactly what I told her but she was the one who texted me first. I was pretty drunk when I got her number so I can't remember what I told her. Anyway I didn't really like her so I didn't really pursue her.
If you act desperate, needy, boring people don't want to be around you. If you are exciting and fun even if you are an asshole people want to be around you.
Learn how to be charming. Learn how to take rejection and laugh. If you make her laugh when she rejects you, you can often catch her on the rebound like.
If someone cold approached 1000 times and did not learn something in the process they must be really stupid.
[deleted] 9y ago
He believes the stress from the thousands of rejections he encountered caused him to go bald. That's a plausible notion. One explanation for that is that the many rejections caused extremely high cortisol levels, adrenal fatigue, hormonal dysregulation--it's well known that the players of a football team experience depressed testosterone levels after losing a game. Think about what would happen if the players on that football team lost for eight years straight.
In any case the many failures led to his looks deteriorating in his 20's, a time when most men get progressively more robust and better looking.
jupc 9y ago
There are various forms of hair loss. He describes and appears to have male pattern balding. Male pattern balding is not caused by stress, but is caused by the binding of dihydrotestosterone (DHT) in the scalp to hair follicles.
A lowering of testosterone level is also not plausible as a low level would limit miniaturization of hair (helping him retain hair) as there would be less dihydrotestosterone (DHT) binding to the hair follicles.
[deleted] 9y ago
Mammals lose body hair when stressed. Take a look at a stray dog sometime. It's not implausible that this dude had his HPTA wrecked by this disastrous run. You see plenty of guys that look like he does in middle age after a divorce or bankruptcy.
jupc 9y ago
Yes, but that type of hair loss is distinguishable visually from male pattern balding.
(The guy has no excuse not to know the cause in fact of his own hair loss).
WeCantHaveFun 9y ago
Thousands of approaches = desperate. It reeks off of him.
He could've had those asians if he wasn't such a needy bitch.
Treat the validation minded children like you don't need them, and all of the sudden, they need you.
Hell, two nights ago, at my hostel, I was in the kitchen and as usual made a point not to make eye contact with any girl. I sit down to work on my computer, and lo and behold, a girl sits down at my table, starts flipping hair, checking to see if I'm looking at her, etc. They're so sad.
Realize they ain't shit, and it won't be shit to get them.
YourShadowScholar 9y ago
What else can you do but cold approach?
[deleted] 9y ago
Hone your ability to know when girls are checking you out, because those are the ones who you want to talk to. You sharpen these instincts by disconnecting your sexuality from the internet (no porn, no online dating) and practicing making eye contact with cute girls.
Going by his just published results, it takes Krauser 10 approaches to get a date. It takes me 2 or 3. Meeting girls does not take much energy for me because I look for warm signals. I got insane warm signals just today walking around downtown from a blonde who was sitting right next to her khaki-wearing boyfriend. C'est la vie.
YourShadowScholar 9y ago
How do you learn this? I mean, basically every women I walk by looks me in the eyes... like literally, probably 9/10. I have no rational/emotional understanding of eye contact, but I have an intellectual one, such that I get that other humans value it for some reason, so I just stare everyone in the eyes. Surely just looking into my eyes is not enough to warrant an approach though? I get that signal from basically everyone...
[deleted] 9y ago
That means you are an attractive dude and you dress well. They would not be making eye contact with you if you were Alfred Hitchcock in cargo shorts. It also means you fit the local aesthetic for an attractive guy. As an example, I get a good amount of eye contact in LA and Portland and very little in San Francisco or Oakland. They like em skinny and white there and I am not either.
If a fat smelly whale of a woman, a Moby Dick with legs and a purse, tried making eye contact with you, you'd avoid it so that she wouldn't try to flirt with you right? Girls do the same thing.
Here's a video of an indication a girl may be into a dude. It's extremely fleeting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWr4jbJOhdI
I benefitted greatly from Mark Manson's Approach Anxiety course in terms of practical results, mental clarity, and disengaging from all this "game" shit. I'd recommend it to you (and anyone else) as well. Even though it ended up being like 30/month and took me two months to do, nothing I have ever encountered has ever helped me as much as that course.
YourShadowScholar 9y ago
Weird. Seems to me like SF/Oakland are much closer in aesthetic to Portland than LA, well, depending on the neighborhood of LA I suppose.
I have like no idea what women want on the Westside in LA other than money... so things are more alien over there, but I spend most of my time in downtown/Silver Lake area. I just thought everyone was much friendlier in those parts of town, haha. Two different parts of LA seem like different cities to me more than any other city I've been in. So, I'm kind of curious if what part(s) of LA you spend your time in?
Weirdly enough, SF is my best city by far. I seem to meet someone new every time I visit. I guess I didn't realize they liked white guys that much there haha
That youtube video can't be showing enough to go off of...as I said before, something like 90% of the women I walk by do that to me (honestly, a pretty decent amount of men too, well, in LA anyway). I never thought of this as something to brag about though, I really just thought it was because I'm really tall for the most part (all anyone ever seems to ask me is if I play in the NBA; which I need to get better at answering, as I am beginning to realize that I've probably been getting cold approached, but just by women who literally cannot think of any other opening line...) Usually the only time it doesn't happen to me is when I am in some really intensely ethnically segregated areas wandering around on one of my food adventures. So the "local aesthetic" thing sounds somewhat true.
[deleted] 9y ago
Well, just two months ago I moved from LA to the middle of nowhere to get more serious in general. I found it hard to focus in LA on larger life goals since there are so many distractions and things to do. I was always chasing some model/actress or partying all weekend rather than hunkering down and getting shit done.
But when I lived there I was also in that Echo Park / downtown area. I liked to hang out in coffee shops and go to a lot of techno shows, warehouse parties and the like. Ironically there were never that many girls at these events, and the ones that were in attendance were the all-black, intense, super-skinny, unapproachable type. The worse the music is at a show, the better the girls are unfortunately.
To meet girls I'd go to different places. The Hollywood scene in general sucked because so many of them were just teases and time-wasters; they'd be into me but it just wouldn't go anywhere. The places that were GREAT to me were Rhonda, Lure, Ace Hotel and Broadway Bar, the coffee shops and bars around FIDM downtown, that area around Ralph's by Runyon, Coffee Beans, Intelligentsias, Abbott Kinney, Los Feliz, and WeHo. WeHo is incomparably awesome in terms of women. You go to the right bar at the right time and it's just thick with hot girls. Actresses and swimsuit models sick of being hit up by Hollywood creeps camouflaging themselves amongst gay guys. And little competition because typical Hollywood bros stay away. Glorious.
I'd go out alone and I'd meet girls that go out alone too. I'd walk into a bar and not sit down---I'd walk directly to the restroom and keep my peripheral vision open for girls that were checking me out as I walked by them. If no one did, I'd blow my nose in the bathroom then leave the venue and go somewhere else within walking distance. If someone did check me out, I'd nonchalantly sit next to them or stand by them and ask them how their night is going while ordering a drink. The retarded thing is that I had to take an online course to learn to do this.
House parties and art events are good too if you know people there.
Anyway. It's possible that your tallness is a confounding variable if you're like 6'6". My best friend is 6'10" and people check him out all the time--I'm not sure if it's because they're into him or if it's just because he's tall. He's both married and awkward so he's never found out by actually talking to the girl.
YourShadowScholar 9y ago
I'm 6'5". So...yeah, seems like a confounding variable.
I've heard all the decent straight girls go to the weho gay bars, but never felt like seeing if it was true. It always felt like a dick move to try and catch them there when they are going specifically not to be hit on.
I appreciate your general tips though. It's amazing how horrible I have been at meeting women in LA. As you say, even when you talk to them, it seems like it just never goes anywhere...
I have yet to really ever see a any girls going anywhere alone though. I guess I must not go out enough or something, but I feel like I go out a lot haha
You are tragically correct about the music/women relationship of events. I go to music events, but the quality of the music is too high for there to be any women there basically. Oh well. I just accept that my extreme tastes in music alienate me from that segment of society, it's fine.
[deleted] 9y ago
I never cracked the West side either, but my suspicion is those girls are all about where the party or afterparty's at--they like the well-connected guy with the loft and the coke. Come to think of it that guy does well everywhere in LA.
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cocaine_face 9y ago
It seems most people here are into social circle game and are likely in college.
Social circle game is way less of an issue as you get older, as far as I can tell. Especially as most men are dating women their age. Gross.
YourShadowScholar 9y ago
It's gross when men date women their own age?
cocaine_face 9y ago
Kinda, yeah. Old girls? Ick.
Glenbert 9y ago
How about just talking to people? Why does it have to be an "approach?"
Bear with me here.
Best thing I ever did was force myself to start talking with everyone in my neighborhood. Old women running shops. Fat girls at the bus stop. Old men on their porches. Cops. Thugs. Tourists. Church girls. Slutty girls.
And if nothing else, you now know people who offer social proof, or at least some spare change if you need to make a call.
Every successful guy I've known is always relatively ready and willing to talk with anyone at any time. The concept of the approach as a thing gets eroded and everything is natural.
Granted, this is easier to do in some parts of the world than others, but just try to be more outgoing than the other guys around you. But if that doesn't sit right with you, if you can't even engage the jolly fat guy at the liquor store, then that is a problem you have to address completely independent of your romantic pursuits.
Diece 9y ago
Do you actually care about those people or did you force yourself to talk to them?
Like I just don't fucking care about others to talk to them at a bus stop or wherever.
Glenbert 9y ago
The caring came naturally, later. But that's because I would see them again and again. I came to view them as something more than walking sacks of meat who were in my way. Depending on your city or route, public transit is probably not the best place to try this out.
I'm not talking about complete strangers on the street who are on their way to doing things. Start with the people in your nearest 7-11 (or whatever) and go from there.
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[deleted] 9y ago
I believe that "eye contact" is a key. NEVER approach a girl without having an eye contact with her. At 99% when girl likes you, she doesn't smile but she is looking at you and giving you an eye contact.
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johnnight 9y ago
He is not bad looking.
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-36769-page-9.html
HellhoundsOnMyTrail 9y ago
He's average looking. And that hat? Come on man.. He could definitely be upping his physical attractiveness by losing the gut, getting some fashion sense, and shaving the head.
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Espada18 9y ago
In my opinion, cold approaching should be done when you have your life by the balls. Well dressed, in good shape, outstanding hygiene etc.. And then focusing on and understanding human social interactions. I swear humans possess an extremely animalistic instinct, the vibe your giving can easily be detected.
[deleted] 9y ago
Never got the whole approach mentality. It will only reinforce how much of a loser you are if you strike out constantly. You don't go in a boxing ring with no training...
When I'm in shape, dressed well, got something going for me, got a social life, it radiates through my god damn pores.
I guess it depends on what kind of guy you are. If you're OK with being a piece of shit and you're capable of putting on an act when you approach, then it should work for you. But if you're like me, and you know your SMV is shit, its a waste of time
Edit: OK so I read buddy did get his SMV up. I'm too noob to comment on why all his approaches backfired, but I'd wager it has something to do with his social skills
[deleted] 9y ago
Cold approaching is retarded.
The low success rate will fuck up your mindset and turn it toxic. See how the PUA's that advocate for cold approaches are the most hate-filled, like Roosh.
It's also unsustainable. Cold approach enough in one area and you will quickly gain a reputation as a creep and a loser, and no one will want anything to do with you. God help you if you're a college student and you find this PUA stuff. Spend a week approaching on your campus and you'll quickly become a pariah; you will never live down the rep and may have to transfer to another school. The only time cold approaching is sustainable is if you live a nomadic lifestyle, moving from city to city, leaving as soon as you overfish and gain some local notoriety as a PUA, which is exactly what Roosh does.
It also leads to a stressful form of cognitive dissonance. When you get worn down from the frequent rejections and become bitter and woman-hating, what's the PUA advice? Approach more. So now you have a dude who absolutely hates women but spends all his time approaching them, or obsessively thinking about it. That's like a car salesman absolutely loathing anyone that steps on his dealership's lot, then spending all his time lying through his teeth to make sales to these people he can't stand. Only the worst of psychopaths can sustain that kind of two-faced manipulation, and that's why these PUA's study, lionize and emulate legitimate psychopaths, con artists, and the like.
Girls want a nice, normal, charming guy that turns them on. That's it. If you see a chick in a bar, and you are a nice, normal, charming guy that turns that chick on, she will make repeated eye contact with you and you can just walk up to her and say "Hi I'm ____" and it's a done deal. Seduction is a simple process and it's easy. PUA's needlessly take this simple process and make it into a series of imaginary chess matches, then pat themselves on the back for being good at these imaginary chess matches that don't even matter in the first place.
[deleted] 9y ago
So, what do you suggest instead of cold approaching?
[deleted] 9y ago
Get as physically attractive as possible, then live your life, and notice the women that notice you.
And if you don't feel like you're good-looking, realize that right now, unlike ever before, it is possible to morph from ugly to handsome. I grew up in LA and in high school I'd see ugly chicks morph into stunners over one summer alone; that kind of technology does exist.
You want to be a 7 or 8. If you aren't physically attractive right now, forget game and make it your goal to get there, to become a handsome dude within 12 months. Leave no stone unturned in your quest for vanity. Changing your physical composition is going to move the needle way more than game will.
[deleted] 9y ago
yeah I dont know why PUAs havent figured out how much better social circle game is. When you are well liked by a social group, go to a house party or whatever, when you meet friends of friends, the entire place (males and females) is pretty much wingmanning you.
[deleted] 9y ago
What's the first thing you do when you get an event invite on Facebook?
Scan the attendee list for targets. The girls attending are doing the exact same thing.
Meanwhile, PUA's say you need to delete your facebook and go approach in the mall till you get thrown out by mall security.
[deleted] 9y ago
Yeah it's definitely stupid. Cold approaching isn't inherently bad. Flirt with cashiers, hairdressers etc. But pretending that having male and female friends that will set you up with their hot friends isn't better then being a random guy that stops people on the street is stupid. I'm pretty sure %70 of the reason I hooked up with this girl on NYE is because she was talking to an ex-fwb of mine most of the night. Her current boyfriend was also wingmanning me for obvious reasons, hhaha.
sir_wankalot_here 9y ago
You contradicted yourself. You start off with cold approaching is retarded. Then you finish off with.
That is cold approaching done right. Afterwards the rest takes care of itself.
[deleted] 9y ago
That's not a cold approach. That's a warm approach.
mrust 9y ago
Technically that is a cold approach with an approach invitation. Warm approach is when someone introduces you or you already have an in with the girl.
The advantages of cold approaching are that you are meeting girls outside your social circle, you are stepping outside your comfort zone, and you are getting real feedback about the state of your game.
A lot of the guys who practice cold approach later leverage that talent to pick up girls during their travels that they wouldn't be able to meet using social circle game.
vicious_armbar 9y ago
After doing 3,000 approaches he should have something to show for it. He's not the best looking guy, but not the worst looking guy as well. Either he's totally ignoring logistics thinking that if he goes up and talks to girls "it will just happen", he's socially retarded, or he's a troll. Hard to tell which one.
Also all of you guys saying that cold approaching doesn't work, keep it up! It just makes things easier for the rest of us.
NS_white 9y ago
Not even that bad looking, although short. He must've said the wrong thing or something.
blackyisthedog 9y ago
I really want to see him at his best. From all those pictures, you can tell he doesn't shave very well, and his cloth don't exactly fit him. He can also lose some weight.
Lt_Muffintoes 9y ago
So you think cold approaching is bullshit, but you think cold approaching works?
Maybe the culture has changed recently, but everything I've ever read has stressed the importance of developing inner game (groundedness, stoicism, being self-centered, whatever you want to call it).
Girls: silly and cute
Don't be bitter
sir_wankalot_here 9y ago
The guy's theory does not maintain "internal consistency" is you call it.
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ScumbagBillionaire 9y ago
You have it totally backwards. You people just don't get it even when it's shoved down your throats like this.... His problem is not his mindset.
It's his fucking appearance. His presentation to the world. I know plenty of good looking guys who put the pussy on a pedestal and are broke fucks who still get good looking women.
The guy is simply undesirable.
As a man, you're in competition with other men for quality females and vice versa. If you don't do everything you can to overcome physical shortcomings you aren't gonna be getting girls.
He can get in great shape, shave his head, groom his face, wear great clothes, and get 3-4 inch shoe lifts and he would be able to at least put up a fight against others with his SMV.
Changing your mindset when you lack the physical presence to attract women is useless. This experiment proves it, yet you still tried to hamster that his number 1 issue was putting pussy on a pedestal.
Do you HONESTLY think good looking guys who put the pussy on a pedestal wouldn't have at least 20-50 fucks if they approached 3000 women?
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[deleted] 9y ago
Exactly. The Red Pill exists in a vacuum in which its adherents think they know the only way to get laid. Anything that challenges that assumption of superiority, like a happy "blue pill" dude taking a girl home after failing to neg her or play push-pull mind games, they dismiss entirely.
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[deleted] 9y ago
At least he now knows where every single pet-shop in town is.
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sir_wankalot_here 9y ago
His first sentence sums up the problem.
This indicates he is doing it in a mechanical manner. Probably the guy is an engineer and thinks women are robots. He should probably make a cyborg GF or something.
Either the guy is shooting way out of his legue or there is something seriously wrong with him.
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Transmigratory 9y ago
I don't quite know why, but I've always been weary of Aaron Sleazy when he comments on other people e.g. Roosh. Looking at just the hyperlink I bet he's just using this to trash Roosh and his forum.
The guy in question (the low SMV male) seems like someone who thinks they've done all the right things. However it seems that he hasn't.
Roosh put it well:
Though he does make a claim that no amount of approaches/game can work for some men... implying that there are hopeless causes. Whether that's the genetically unluckly or BP stubbornness... you decide.
SaneGuy has some points worth mentioning... though I don't know about being stuck with lower quality women 'cause you're not good enough. Even if you adopt TRP: the analogy of the drug dealer who can bank 8s/9s while a high profile business person may have a 6/7.
Either way, I think there's a bit of game denalism going on... I say this, admittedly, because you linked an Aaron Sleazy article. Aaron who denies game while writing his own version of it.
----------Edit------------
Hold on, I just realised: this guy (Aaron Sleazy) was a mod for PUAhate... ... ... ... ...I'd be lying if I said that fact won't play a part in what I think of his views.