What's up, guys. I mostly frequent /r/asktrp, but there's something I thought might be better suited to the wider audience here.

Lately, I've seen quite a few posts about how to maintain a LTR, and how to strike the "alpha/beta balance." Most recently, however, a poor guy posted about how his perfect relationship of 2 years has fallen apart, and he can't understand why. As you might imagine, he's done quite a few things wrong, but I wanted to address a specific part of his mindset:

[W]e're one of those couples who other people think are "perfect for each other, ideally paired", we almost never argue, we're both very rational and both of us discuss things instead of feeling aggravated or offended; we discuss jealousy or whatever may rise. We have been on a beautiful, learning and loving process, where we both scream and declare our love to each other constantly, having no bad experiences, ill feelings or degrading us. Also, we are sexually perfect for each other, both in libido and in practice, never have we used sex as a tool for anything.

Problem is...Tuesday she just told me she wants to break up.

Quite clearly, this guy believes that never arguing, being rational, and "discussing things instead of feeling aggravated" are all good things which speak to the strength of the relationship. The opposite is the case. The only powerful emotion mentioned here is love. And, in fact, the only emotion present in this guy's relationship was love. No lust. No jealousy. No passion. Indeed, when another emotion did surface (jealousy was given as an example) this guy and his girlfriend discussed it rationally, a sure way to kill the interest there.

Emotions, in and of themselves, are neither good nor bad -- but they are interesting. A relationship without a diversity of emotion is a boring relationship. Tell me, which sounds more intriguing to you: Love or Anger? Love is steady, stable, predictable. Anger is wild, unstable. Anger is unpredictable. Anger is passionate. Elsewhere, people have spoken about the importance of the emotional rollercoaster, about taking a woman through the full range of emotions, positive and negative. Well, that responsibility doesn't end with an LTR.

Women want to be swept along in your emotion. The "man on a mission" thing isn't attractive because women give a shit about your mission, it's attractive because women can see your passion for something. Above all, a woman wants to be intrigued by you, and that passion, stemming from strong emotion, is what will generate the interest she craves.

Anger is a strong emotion. Jealousy is a strong emotion. Both are vital for maintaining interest in a long, healthy relationship. Obviously you don't want to be getting in fights every day, or even every week. But if you're looking for a LTR, learn from the post I originally quoted, and don't be so quick to shut down "negative" emotions. After all, hate isn't the opposite of love; indifference is.

So, be unapologetic, especially if it means that you're being stubborn or unreasonable. You fucked up, and she's pissed? Too bad.

Let her be mad at you.