So last friday night I get a message from my ex wife, she says "Can we do dinner sometime, I have some things I need to discuss with you."
I had a bit of a knot in my stomach, for some reason I thought maybe she had seen my post, knowing that I had used to visit this sub, but that was not it.
So we meet up, order food, she has a glass of wine, takes my hand, tells me her therapist and her had a breakthrough, she tells me that she brought me to a public place so that we can both just be "honest" with no fear of "anything" and she kept reiterating that, like "Just so that we don't have to worry about Anything... ok?" So I was thinking she wanted to get back together or something, just by how strange she was acting, like she expected me to hear her say "I want us back together!" and I'd throw my glass of water and scream at her? I have no idea at the time, now I do...
So she tells me the typical "I want you to know that I did enjoy our time together, you provided a father to my children, you raised them as if they were your own, you sacrificed for them, and they turned out wonderful, and for that I'm eternally grateful!"
She then pauses and says "I need to come clean with you, I've been lying to your face for a long time."
I say "Ok, honey, no matter what it is, I'm past it, it's ok, you don't have to hurt anymore, just say what you need to and we'll enjoy our lunch."
She starts crying, at first just a bit, then it turns into a full on breakdown. She's holding my hand, rubbing my finger, and just staring at my hands, her lip trembling, tears running all over the place.
I tell her to take her time, I'm starting to get really curious about what is going on, I'm REALLY starting to suspect she's about to ask me back now.
Suddenly she says "I was never there for you, and I want you to know why, Bob, and I never stopped seeing each other." Bob is our kids biological father, who has managed to remain a low life jobless alcoholic for the past 18 or so years.
I freeze in place, I feel the sensation of time slowing down, like is described in movies etc, it feels like a knife is being shoved into my back.
I feel like I'm going to vomit, but my brain jumps to her defense, "You mean you were still in love with him right you weren't actually together right?"
"No, I'm so sorry, I'm so so so sorry."
I go out and sit in my car, just staring at my steering wheel, my hands are shaking.
She eventually comes outside and taps on my passenger window, I let her get in, she has regained her composure, I think that just telling me was the hardest part for her.
She informs me that she was still having sex with Bob as early as 6 months after we got married, that he would just show up on her lunch breaks, or after work, and they'd go get a motel, or go to his place.
She says she was "lost" and that looking back it was all a " mistake" and that she now realizes she killed our sex life, not me. She tells me that the reason she went back to Bob, after me pressing her, was because I was "Too good" for her, and that she never thought I actually loved her.
I asked her what part of me taking on her kids, her, and her responsibilities made it seem like I didn't love her. Shes says "I don't know."
I asked her if she was still with and seeing Bob, she said yes, I asked her if they had been sleeping together regularly over the years. She said yes.
She then asked me how many times I had cheated on her. "none." She sort of scoff / giggles "What...?"
"I never cheated, I was honest when I married you."
She seemed more surprised that I hadn't cheated on her, than that I was reduced to a man child in just 30 minutes of her being honest. I eventually told her to get the hell out of my car and to never contact me again.
I am going to see my therapist this evening. The one situation I had NEVER thought she was even physically capable of doing she apparently was doing, for 20 years, on a weekly basis.
By my math her ex husband had sex with my wife 48 times a year, for 20 years, while I got told to be patient.
I told her if she get's in an accident and needs help to just pull the plug, that I'd jump in a volcano before ever helping her again with ANYTHING, she looked at me as if I had betrayed her.
So now I'm back to being 12 again and wondering if anything I know is real. I just can't understand how she can be that way, hide it all these years so well, act like I'm the bad guy, then it turns out she was cheating on me all along, this whole time.
On top of that, my new HL GF, that seems awesome, when I told her about all of this, she informs me that she also has a proclivity for finding random men from time to time and that "it's just sex!" and now I don't find her attractive anymore either. Goddamnit.
I'm sorry if this has been posted here before but this is just breathtaking. I feel for that man. So often deadbedrooms aren't because sex isn't occurring at all, it's because it has been transferred to a different bedroom and you're being cucked! And this is what a guy gets for "being a real man" and taking in someones children as their own. Sometimes it's like women cannot handle honour and virtuous qualities, it just makes them straight act out and find the closest scumbag lowlife to cuckold you with.
Sort by TOP/YEAR to find the post- "Had dinner with ex-wife friday..", I don't want to link to it and get messenger bots scuttling.
donadora 6y ago
I don’t think I was breathing while reading this story. Holy shit. That guy needs a hug
Indubitably_Confused 6y ago
Send the man to the sidebar quick.
AdrianWerner 6y ago
The moment you took over father duties for another man was the moment you stopped being a real man to her.
That said, personally, the most infuriating part of this story to me was that she needed a therapist to realise the shit she has been pulling has been wrong. Like...WTF?
0kool74 6y ago
I remember reading that story as well....and having a high degree of WTF from it. But, it just goes to show you there's no level of understanding you can have about women that they won't out of the blue shock, surprise, and reduce you to ruins.
[deleted] 6y ago
Fuck
Just when you are over the anger phase
DatingCoach111 6y ago
Jesus mother of fuck this shit boiled my blood. Good post.
newls 6y ago
Women will fuck. They may not fuck you, they may not fuck me, but they will fuck someone. If she's not giving it to you, she's eagerly giving it to someone else who doesn't give nearly as much of a shit about her as you do.
[deleted] 6y ago
In 20 years not a single friend told him what was going on. No one knew? That's bullshit. I feel so bad for the guy, but truth is everyone one of us is sitting in a similar position and we just don't know it. If all the veils got lifted at once, we'd be cracked in two before having the strength to leave them. AWALT. Never get married. Pre-nups all day. Never let her move in.
Snoopy_Doggy 6y ago
Never give 100% trust to any human being in this life. It's the only way to be sure. Verify. Don't let the world cuckold you.
Trust is for idiots and suckers. All human beings lie. Every single one. There are no angels out there. If they're not cheating on you physically there are other ways they are likely not 100% on your side. Don't be blind-sighted. It's on you if you grow up in this world with so many examples of cucks out there and assume it can't happen to you.
I understand how murder-suicides happen. Stories like these. Just cut the cords and move on, if you can. Don't let her waste another word on you, she's human garbage. If you spend time consoling her for her infidelity, you deserve it.
thebluesSV 6y ago
One thing I've learnt is that you never give your ex girlfriends, wives these sorts of meetings. It has all to do with them and nothing to do with you. They are 99% just going to dump any guilt/crap they have on you as a way to get "closure" with absolutely no regards for your feelings, like a trash bin.
After that they will walk away feeling refreshed while now you have to take the emotional burden of whatever evil shit they did.
The least the woman in this story could have done is take the secret to the grave, why hurt this man further after all he has done for her.
The other advice I have is no matter what a woman does to you just dont react. The less tools they have the harder time they will have hamstering away their wrongdoings. If you react negatively as expected you will become the bad guy. What the man had to do was just stand up, say "excuse me I have to leave". And just leave.
No reason to say the things he said about the volcano and plug, he could have just let his future actions speak for him.
I got redpilled at a really old age (31) and cant imagine the pain and dissapointment of getting redpilled at 60 or something after raising chads children in what must be the ultimate way of losing the game of evolution.
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DubbleFUPAwitCheez 6y ago
Ah, the old "Too good" line.
That literally means you are too "good". Not in terms of quality but you are an asexual puppy to her. You are too NICE. That's why she hamstered it into "you don't love me". He didn't portray any alpha characteristics and her female brain could not imagine that he didn't "get it" so he was just being beta because he didn't actually love her.
Men and women, damn near, speak different languages. Being beta literally comes across to a female as "you don't love me because you are not making me attracted to you".
The most accurate red pill I have ever read in my years in the manosphere has been - be attractive, don't be unattractive.
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[deleted] 6y ago
This hits on one of the most insidious covert contracts men buy into. Its fine to take a child in and be good to them, even being a father. Never ever do it for a woman or expecting to gain respect or devotion for it. You will not. If you love the kid love the kid on the merits of that dynamic. The mom will not hesitate to pull the trigger on you though. Not for a second.
iamanalterror_ 6y ago
Only do this with your own children. Your time and effort is not worth being wasted on anyone else's children, no matter how much you like them.
If you help someone else's children, then they're getting the benefit, not you, and they'll take advantage of you for it.
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truedemocracy3 6y ago
how much do you want to bet this divorce happened as the kids were 18 or closing in on it, and thus majority of costs raising them are sunk
Throwawaysteve123456 6y ago
I spent so long advocating for single moms, even though I knew they were a risk. Even in my BP days, i knew 'certain' single moms were a for sure avoid, but I refused to believe the generalization. I would not, in any circumstances, ever, date a single mom. Period. Say what you want about me, but I'm probably worth more than you, since I've never had to pay child support. The new trends in the courts of having BBs pay for kids is very disturbing.
Jigsus 6y ago
This is so clear and straightforward that it should be taught with no relation to the red pill. It's just basic good advice.
BrownGummyBear 6y ago
This is why I'll adopt boys. You get the kid without a crazy bitch :)
sadomasochrist 6y ago
The nuclear family is a male value system.
Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 6y ago
"The nuclear family is a male value system."
Very true! This statement needs to be one of the Red Pill Tenets...I haven't seen it on any of the manosphere sites before....(?)
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Because it's my OC ;)
Read "Children without fathers, and women without providers. Short term mates, long term mates, alpha bucks and the silverback patriarch."
I think you'll like it.
Jigsus 6y ago
How so? Women love children.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Sure, but she doesn't need a husband for a family, catch my drift?
UrsusG 6y ago
If she doesn't respect you, you should be ready to pull the trigger on your stepdad routine too.
Or better yet, don't get involved with single moms at all. It's a can of worms.
[deleted] 6y ago
Imagine playing Dad to some poor kid and just going ice cold on the kid years later cause the mother is a bitch... Man that would've fucked me up back in the day.. i couldn't do it like that
UrsusG 6y ago
That's what they use against you and that's why dealing with single moms is such a trap.
All the more reason to just stay clear or keep it strictly pump and dump.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Yep. In my lengthy post on this I said the only times to get involved with single moms are if you are a single dad and it can be a shared burden (also as a single dad you will have an SMV hit like single moms do, so might be your best shot at getting someone good in the looks/job department) OR if you are both old and her kids are adults.
But dating a young single mom? So many red flags - it shows a massive lack of long term planning on her part
MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
I was thinking about this as a soon-to-be single dad.
If you wouldn't get serious about a single mom as a single guy, then why should your values change as a single dad? I know plenty of single dads that date younger girls that aren't raising another guy's nut.
If something would be a non-negotiable for you as a single guy without kids, that something shouldn't change just because you have a kid of your own. Single moms still may have ex drama that you want nothing to do with plus who knows what else. Fuck all that.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Fair enough. I don't have that experience, but it's just a hypothetical in my head. A lot of women wouldn't want to date a guy with a kid so it can be limiting your pool
MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
There are women who won't date you because you're ____ (white/black/Asian/tall/short/red haired/overweight/underweight).
If you feel like you need to be more liberal with your pool of potential candidates because of a scarcity mentality then that's your prerogative but I don't agree with it.
I do agree with what you said about being old though. If you're dating in your 50's, good luck finding a woman in her 40's/50's with zero kids. Not that it can't be done, but dating women 20+ years younger and exclusively without kids becomes challenging in your 50's I would imagine. At that point it becomes a logistical concern.
[deleted] 6y ago
This is true, and the best advice. My point was to hit this very specific illusion a lot of guys seem to have that being good to the kid gets you any kind of special standing with mom when it doesn't. Even if losing you would be devastating to the kid she will not hesitate.
Docbear64 6y ago
It' just another application of Briffaults law isn't it ?
BRIFFAULT’S LAW:
-The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.
There are a few corollaries I would add:
-Past benefit provided by the male does not provide for continued or future association.
-Any agreement where the male provides a current benefit in return for a promise of future association is null and void as soon as the male has provided the benefit (see corollary 1)
-A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).
truedemocracy3 6y ago
My guess is that the guy got in when the kids were young, the mom realized that most of his value came from raising them in the present and future, and as the kids neared 18 his value as a provider only diminished until she was disgusted by him
UrsusG 6y ago
It kinda gets you a brief special standing in the beginning, when she's happy she found someone to improve her shitty situation, but that doesn't last long.
Pretty soon things normalize and you being the stepdad becomes the "new norm", not the special act of magnanimity it initially was.
This is pretty expected from a psychological point of view though - nobody (woman or man) likes to be forever indebted, and everyone seeks power in a relationship.
This goes for every other Cpt. Save-a-ho scenario out there too.
That's why men should never "dumpster dive" for relationships, thinking it will afford them gratitude or even decency in the long run. If you do seek a relationship, seek it with the best woman you can find, not the lowest hanging fruit.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'll refer to the whole beige phillip rule of anything you do 3 times is no longer a favor, it's an obligation.
MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
I was dating a young girl a few years ago. As usual, I opened the car door for her on our first date. And then again on our subsequent dates. She, like all girls, went gaga over the old school act of chivalry.
But then after we had been going out for a while, I didn't open the car door for her. I didn't want to feel obligated to it every time we went somewhere. As I slide around to my side of the car, she says to me, "Uh, this door isn't going to open itself!"
Done. Never opened a car door for her again after that.
Related, my current wife lays out a fresh pair of boxers for me next to the sink every night for when I come home from work. Every night she does this, so one night I guess she forgot to or something, and I was actually annoyed!
Never mind that she was doing this sweet little thing for me without my asking for it all this time. The moment she didn't do it, I felt like she owed it to me. Probably how the other girl with the car door felt.
Must be human nature. In retrospect it's probably best to do nice things more sporadically and inconsistently to avoid complacency and being taken for granted.
UrsusG 6y ago
It's in the sidebar somewhere (or in a dog training manual, same thing tbh): reinforce good behaviors with small, intermittent rewards.
Matt22blaster 6y ago
So true. My ex did nothing, I cooked, cleaned did laundry. I used to walk around the house picking things up shouting out "cause if I don't do it, it don't get done". I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 3 years. the other day I got mad at her because I didn't have jeans. she forgot to move a load from the washer to the dryer. She gave me a sarcastic sorry, and explained that after she got off work at 5, between cooking salmon and cleaning the kitchen, she must have forgot to move them over; then reminded me that I hadn't done laundry in over two years. But you're right, when someone else assumes responsibility for something, it's just natural to eventually expect it and take it for granted.
UrsusG 6y ago
Yeah, that's an excellent way of putting it.
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
This is the correct procedure. Single moms don't get to be promoted past plate status, period.
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woodie_wood 6y ago
Have you heard about the show SMILF on showtime? Haven’t actually seen an episode but it’s pretty obvious what it’s about. Makes me cringe how much people especially guys just eat this shit up. Then there’s BAD MOMS CHRISTMAS, wtf it’s so in your face I just don’t understand how people stay blue pilled.
JF0909 6y ago
Women eat that shit up, and since they are the target demographic, don't expect this trend to stop anytime soon.
NightwingTRP 6y ago
Guys on here are too eager to promote plates. It is a very serious problem when you read some of the brainless stuff on AskTRP. 99% of the "girlfriend" problems are because they have promoted non-girlfriend/partner material beyond its natural place as a plate.
grewapair 6y ago
These women prey on lonely guys they can use. The guys who promote the single moms have no other options, so when she pushes him, it's either go back to a life of no sex, or give in.
Which is why she goes for such desperate guys in the first place. She knows that guy will never find anyone else, and that's exactly who she was looking for. If she wants a good looking guy, the complete opposite of the guy she "dates", she can do him on the side. She won't push for a relationship with him because he, in contrast to the guy she's "dating", can find someone else.
[deleted] 6y ago
I would take that even further and suggest that the vast majority of western women are unsuitable as LTR material. We have a system in the west which empowers women to behave in any way they choose without consequences.
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truedemocracy3 6y ago
Not even worth trying IMO. Every single mom I have met are in a 'looking for something serious' or 'no hookups' phase. ie code for 'please pay for my kid'
MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
Sounds like you're talking about online dating. I've met single moms in real life who were more down for casual dating. But yes, when forced to type out a profile, no one would consciously state that she doesn't want a serious relationship. "Those days are in my past!"
bigfuckingboner 6y ago
The ones that say 'no hookups!' usually hook up the first meet.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
If you are a woman worth dating you can show off in other areas of your profile without being explicit about 'no hookups'. Show, don't tell. Show your education, well rounded personality, etc. No hookups IS ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS mentioned by someone who looks like a complete bimbo.
MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
Naturally. A girl who has a bimbo past will be adamant about not repeating her past indiscretions to the point of broadcasting it on a virtual billboard.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Which is hilarious, because to the trained eye if you see 'Not here for hookups' it means that the girl has had great difficulty in the past locking guys down so she has to explicitly mention it on her profile. If a girl has a strong personality, other interests, etc. then she wont have a problem with guys wanting to keep her around.
I really have no clue what guys see those profiles and still go for it
ImNotTheRealOP 6y ago
"Don't get involved" and "Don't get promoted past plate status" seem contradictory to me, because if they're your plate, you're involved with them, right? Can you elaborate on what you meant?
HumanSockPuppet 6y ago
Read my Bitch Management Guide in the sidebar.
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recon_johnny 6y ago
Short Answer: You fuck them, you don't get into a relationship with them.
And for God's sake, always wear a condom and ensure it's flushed. Every time.
Planner_Hammish 6y ago
ya, no; flushing condoms is a great way to fuck up your plumbing. If you're concerned about theft, then tie it off and take it with you.
max_peenor 6y ago
That's why you fuck them at their place...
MisterRoid 6y ago
Might as well jack off then. Can't feel shit with a condom on.
merchcon 6y ago
What's wrong with your dick? Maybe a badly done circumcision?
You can get thinner condoms.
[deleted]
[deleted] 6y ago
Exactly. 99 times out of a hundred she pulled the trigger on the real father, without regards to him or what it would do to her kids. Don't think for a second she won't do it to you just because it's Tuesday.
AllahHatesFags 6y ago
And they will ban you or shadowban you if try to tell the poor cucked men there any Red Pill truths; it's sad because they are the ones who need it most.
420KUSHBUSH 6y ago
You poor, poor bastard
My heart goes out to you. I wish you all the best and all the luck I can donate to you
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barredspiral 6y ago
Why would she say the reason is that you are better than her? Is it just a lie to try to make you feel better?
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truedemocracy3 6y ago
Good god. There are a ton of lessons in this post. The rationalizing on her end ("I thought I wasn't good enough for you") which is bullshit. The fact that the guy thinks doing everything for her kids is sexy and earning love, that one is a hard pill to swallow for many. Hell I would not be surprised if the divorce was AFTER the kids turned 18 just so she can drain him of resources before kicking him to the curb. That she still had feelings for the biological father which is almost evolutionary at this point. And of course his new girlfriend rationalizing that away. Also, him telling his girlfriend about the ex wife. If his gf wasn't attracted to him before she sure as hell wont be now that she learns how quickly this wife pulled a fast one on him.
Some lessons for the newly initiated here:
If you are single and with no kids NEVER date a woman with children. There are many reasons for this. Mainly that the fact she is single and has a kid is a red flag to begin with - what happened to the guy? Is she from a divorce (RED FLAG). Was the kid out of wedlock from an accident (RED FLAG). You also have to factor in that not only will you have an extra life to consider with her, but you have two - both her kids AND her kids biological father who at the very best case is a swell guy who minds his own business but still competes for the love of the kids (and the kids will almost always deep down favor the biological dad). The ONLY time I would consider dating a woman with kids is if you also are single and with kids and thus it's a shared experience OR you are old enough that her kids are adults themselves and you don't have to pay for their shenanigans.
Be alert. Stay vigilant. Take what you want. A MARRIED woman or a girlfriend saying 'be patient' about sex is a massive red flag. If that's the case instead of saying 'ok sweetie' work on yourself, kick her to the curb if you must, and at the very least start questioning what could be driving this behavior. Yes the guy is the victim here but he is losing out to a deadbeat, not an alpha doctor, so I almost guarantee the OP is a complete schlub.
Don't break frame with the new gf. If you come to a girlfriend talking about a past breakup how you were cheated on for YEARS she will lose all respect for you. Yes, in an ideal world as your partner she would be sympathetic and I'm sure she is, but her attraction would go out the window. Of course in this situation you likely cant get away with lying but a simple "when we were married she had a moment of weakness and slept with her ex and just now told me. I told her to never contact me again" could save face, but there is no real alpha answer to getting cucked that bad.
Interested to hear other thoughts but those things jumped off the page at me
wastelandchic 6y ago
In response to Number 1. Even more importantly DO NOT EVER date a woman with multiple baby daddies. They are infinitely more trouble than a simple divorcee and their kids are invariably fucked up.
Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 6y ago
no, bio dad always wins in the sexual "arms race". She chose to breed with HIM, though you may have more loving/bonding qualities for her than her ex.
Just think of yourself as her bestest friend, and her ex husband as the one she chose to ruin her body for....
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Not always a fair comparison because most of the time women meet the new husband AFTER being with a biological husband, so there is no 1 on 1 comparison. Though I do agree there is some hard wired "he is the father of my children" attraction/spark/friction that will always be there. And off the top of my head most mothers that remarried that I can think of found a safer/provider type man compared to the less complete dad.
Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 6y ago
Well, the ex-husband was the physical attraction....he got all the nasty orgasmic sex with her, and she may very well still sneak and fuck him when she drops the kids off et al (the premise of this story). You, the beta provider, get the permanent non-sexual/grouchy friend role with her.
It's frustrating and it sucks, but that is the reality of AWALT.
Lateralanouncer 6y ago
True. However woman’s version of SMV is emotional not logical so in this case the drunk had a higher SMV as he triggered her emotions. Plus in the mind of a woman strangers have a higher SMV as everything is new. From my experience woman simply vote with there pussy so if she is not wet for you move on.
Trooper_1868 6y ago
Have you copied this from somewhere truedemocracy3, I swear i have read this exactly somewhere on this forum a while back.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
haha swear to god I just typed it out as it was a response to the OP thread, but most of what's in it came from nuggets of knowledge here or real world experience
Trooper_1868 6y ago
dude i swear i read this on trp a few months ago. Must have been from you only ahaha
Auvergnat 6y ago
One of the most important TRP teaching is that the medium is the message. The reason the OP got cucked for so long was that he made the mistake of listening what she says, while her actions were screaming very loudly "I am not sexually attracted to you". Now decades later, he is still listening to what she says as his primary attempt to understand her.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Medium : you're rent a dad
Message : ?
Hit like a sledgehammer because there was no alternate interpretation.
Auvergnat 6y ago
Medium: what she does, aka not fucking him. Message: "I am not attracted to you"
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RockhoundFIN 6y ago
Kind of makes one lose interest in even fucking them. Every inch of dick shoved into that pussy validates the person carrying the pussy in the belief that this behavior is all good. Have strength and accepting the pill will help, even if it makes you lose most of the perceived value of women.
Sometimes its nice to empty one's balls onto their faces or mouths and see them think of oneself as their god/daddy/whatever. They add as much value to your life as a man thinks they do. An incel or a virgin needs to experience a good dominant fucking a couple of times, after that its just a novelty. Like a good hamburger.
Pussy is pussy. The packaging changes, the person behind the shell rarely does.
Ninokun 6y ago
cant wait for 100% realistic Sex Androids.
shaggyctes88 6y ago
China was working on it but PC Police pulled the plug.....feminism isnt gonna let us have our own
silvergun_superman 6y ago
This is beyond terrifying. Whenever I have a friend who's considering getting serious with a woman who has kids I will send them this.
quityourbullshit777 6y ago
To people who don't believe this post, here is the post the OP made a week before:
This might be wrong but I noticed something in the last couple of years.
Basically I came here for advice, and eventually decided to get a divorce with my then 56LL wife of 22 years. I decided to get a gym membership and a friend introduced me to this Ketogenic diet.
I focused on ME, I worked out, I ran my dogs more, I bonded with my step son despite the failed marriage, and I lost over 18 lbs in just a couple months. The confidence of her not breaking my spirit on a daily basis is astounding! Some things I've noticed in the last 3 years however, are troubling, and also giving me hope.
I might be way off base, and maybe this only applies to my age group, but here's what I've noticed since re entering the dating pool.
In the last 3 years I've dated 4 women, all around my age (55), one of them I am still seeing, the other 3 I am not. Sorry if this is a long story, but I always noticed with my ex wife that she didn't really pay attention to stuff, in general, like situational awareness, etc. So for some examples, if I enter a room and my partner says their knee hurts, I might ask if they need anything while I'm up. She just doesn't, ever, not even once. If I asked her to pay a bill, she'd forget by the next day. If I taught her how to operate the wood stove 18 thousand times, she'd still not remember it, and after the 18thousand and first time, she'd say "I get it!" all snappy, yet not remember the next time. She would forget to put oil in her car, or put gas in, I'd almost always find her vehicle in some inoperable state of disarray that was 100% preventable. I'd teach her how to pump gas, she'd forget by the next time we went out, I could actually see it in her eyes, the confusion and realizing she wasn't faking it, she really did not remember how. She'd forget events, most memories, I'd say "remember last year where we put the Tarps in the garage, it's by those..." and she'd say "we have tarps?" YES, WE DO, I WATCHED YOU PUT THEM THERE.
At one point we thought she had a tumor, or a brain cancer, because it REALLY was an issue, she would forget to pay a bill, and when I pointed out that we got, and she OPENED personally, multiple "Shutoff" notices, she'd look completely confused.
I could basically watch a movie with her, and a few weeks later watch it again, and she'd say she had never seen it before, same with books, same with basically anything. She'd make a recipe and realize the temperature was too high, mention "Next time I'll cook it lower!" and then next time burn it again, and go through the whole "It was too hot!" realization process.
I bought her a toy that she had been begging me for, a K'nex kit, you know, that little kids play with. So they are pretty basic, but each time she pulls it out, I have to re teach her how they snap together, yet she holds a job, has friends, drives a vehicle, etc... She's a professional to boot, she is a counselor of sorts, in a very stressful and demanding job, and does her job NO PROBLEM, never forgets ANYTHING. So, after 20 years of DB with her I finally pulled the plug, and back to the present, have dated 4 new women in the last few years. One of them was NOT a DB type of woman. I took her fly fishing last month, she picked it up in one day, ONE DAY, we went out the next weekend she still remembered how to tie a knot, was excited to be there, and ACTUALLY had absorbed all the information I gave to her about fish habitats and where they might be hiding, like she was repeating my own phrases back to me and smiling and having fun.
I taught her how to use my woodstove (typical woodstove) and she started a fire with it the next morning. The other 3 women were the opposite, just like my ex wife, I would teach them how to use my coffee maker, and by the next day it was "Can you make coffee? I can't figure it out!"
I actually kinda lost my temper a bit with one of them, and said soemthing very rude and unlike me, "Do you pay attention EVER or is this just how you are?"
She acted like I had just dropped salt in a wound, she broke down, and basically said that it had been an issue in all her relationships, that she just didn't see the world how most people do, that stuff that is easy for most people is really hard for her, and yada yada. I pointed out that it's funny because things SHE likes, she has no problem remembering them, or self teaching, or growing, or you know, paying attention.
I apologized and we decided it was best to go our separate ways, so over the next year I date two more women, both are the same, both can't pay attention, I can tell them stuff, they don't remember it 10 minutes later. I eventually lose my temper on them too, again, and say stuff like "Have you ever attempted, um, maybe, trying to pay attention?" and they both did the same, almost instantly melted down into sobbing and saying "All men say this to me, I'm just not like other women!" etc etc.
I have noticed with my new girlfriend, the one that actually pays attention, that it seems to transfer into all kinds of other areas of our lives, she pays bills without me having to beg her to, she uses the correct account, she cancelled our yard trimmers and informed me that she likes using Lawn Mowers and will mow the lawn as an enjoyable thing she likes to do. She took my car to the shop and had it fixed without even asking me, she just seems to get it, like, she thinks...
Now here's where I might be going off a tangent, but I REALLY really don't think so, and sure there's gonna be a few people saying "I don't think those things are connected..." but here's why I think you're wrong. Paying attention is one of the most critically important things you can do for your partner, besides it's ability to keep you both on the same page, it also creates a communication platform, you know, like when I would get mad at the stove, if it was burning funny, IF my wife had ANY clue how stoves worked, she could have said "I hate when the cold air pushes the smoke back down." Instead, she was just running around the house like a, excuse my french, idiot going "Why is this happening?!?!" despite me having explained it to her countless times. People that don't pay attention to things that can KILL you if mishandled, are certainly not going to pay ANY attention to your personal needs, think about it, they don't even care enough to make sure you don't suffocate in your sleep. My current SO loves intimacy, we have sex probably once a week at least, this is UNHEARD of for me, the previous 3 women, the other ones like my wife that refused to pay attention to anything around them, basically told me within a few weeks that "Sex just isn't that important to me, at this point in my life." When I asked them why it wasn't, they couldn't even give me an answer, they actually didn't even understand their own reasons, ie, they don't even pay attention to their own thoughts. That's terrifying!
I just can't help but notice that in my dating experience, all of the LL people I dated, seemed to not pay attention to much other than their own short term desires and needs.
I think that people who DO pay attention to stuff around them, and actually invest into relationships, and hobbies, and knowing information, they are the ones that are more likely to give you that same investment, because knowing stuff, and investing is part of what brings them fulfillment. Just food for thought, have a good day all.
Apologies if this has been brought up before, and apologies if I'm way wrong, but I really think there's something to this. My step son has a really healthy relationship with his wife, and I noticed it with her too, she just pays attention, I teach her stuff that she actually remembers every time I see them, it feels so good to know they actually listen and pay attention, which makes me pursue a relationship with them, which in turn leads to them doing the same. I think these LL people, in a lot of cases, not all, are just bad at paying attention, hence why one partner is always standing there going "HOW DO THEY NOT SEE THIS FOR WHAT IT IS!?" Because, they don't pay attention! HELLO!
Update - I absolutely love how the top rated comment here is a girl "womansplaining" to me that this was all actually my fault for wanting my wife to know how to not kill us with the wood stove because "You're boring and you talk about man stuff so no wonder she ignored you." In essence saying I deserved it. Wow.. WOW... I have no words. This is the same type of thing that get's men called out for being selfish.
GreenPiller 6y ago
What would happen if the movie American Psycho had a female protagonist instead of a male one? Would the character be as intriguing or would she just seem like a regular woman?
420KUSHBUSH 6y ago
American Psycho 2 my friend
Andgelyo 6y ago
American Psycho is my absolute favorite movie of all time. Young guy makes ridiculous money, has the body of a greek god, fucks women left and right, and murders people he doesn't like without getting caught. Would be a shit movie if it was some dumb hoe.
TaylorWolf 6y ago
The secretary is the regular woman... crushing on a guy like Patrick Bateman
Interestingly American Psycho was written and directed by a woman. Patrick Bateman is actually a fantasy character the same way Twilight vampires are. Dangerous and sexy.
[deleted] 6y ago
Screenplay was technically written by a woman, but it was based on a book written by a man. She contributed very little to the Patrick Bateman character that wasn’t already on Bret Easton-Ellis’ book.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
She did a great job fleshing him out. She had to interpret the book which doesn't give a real coherent vision of who Patrick is, which is intentional. Complete with pov changes.
The screenplay is brilliant and arguably better than the book.
Though BEEs concept for the book is groundbreaking and the seed he planted grew something great out of it.
The rare example of a movie that if you're not just a book guy is as good or better.
AstuteBlackMan 6y ago
I'm not getting married. This is bullshit.
imdar3ald3al 6y ago
I feel bad for the guy but it astounds me to think how badly his blue pill conditioning prevented him from figuring it out earlier.
TooSwoleToControl 6y ago
He signed up for this by raising another man's children. The ultimate cuck.
Avskygod0 6y ago
jesus your society truly is falling apart
and your gubmint and media is trying to spread that here, no cancer allowed
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I am nearly speechless. First the wife, then the gf. This guys needs TRP, stat!
iamanalterror_ 6y ago
But most importantly, he needs to find it on his own.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
That’s the ideal. We all get help in all sorts of ways by sharing ideas and giving a little support. As they say, ‘No man is an island.’ It’s always a choice to listen or ignore. We’re not just machines on a logic clock. We’re pack animals, so we cooperate. Or try to.
iamanalterror_ 6y ago
But the problem with TRP is that if you try to recommend it to someone, it will likely backfire and they'll hate you for it.
All we can do is hope he follows the cycle of finding TRP:
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I can see your POV.
There is something missing in TRP though. As a species, our development or evolution has actively played a role in bringing all aspects of life to us. There are also cultural influences as well. They co-mingle with the wet wear of our biology. Humanity is always trying to define itself. In a way we’ve become victims of our success. It seems that atop of the balance of power between genders goes, it’s lopsided and on a spree. With woman having something of an upper hand; at least that’s the climate the SJW’s have fostered. Being a man has slowly been morphed and now it seems, being ripped from us. Maybe the most valuable part of TRP, if it wants to lean on science, it has to keep an open mind beyond the hypotheses. Biology may not have provisioned for us in what you might want to call, fairly. If the underlying impetus is to get your rocks off and not have material and emotional chunks taken out and of you. But the meta-drive, procreation. Unpopular as the obvious may be, I think this is where things go haywire. I think on both sides of the gender equation. Each as skeptical in their old battle scarred ways.
So where does this bring us in content. Being a man is being redefined by digging in to something almost primal. It’s an adaptation to become stronger. This is part of our nature too. The influence of society has just waned. Men and women have choices like never before; that’s means strengths and weaknesses on both sides. The thing is that so many social rules have changed, almost silently, driven by our monkey nature. Women being more narcissistic, have lapped this up. All of it driven by technology. It’s changing our social patterns of behaviour. This has caused a reload of a lot ideas. Relationships are hard work. And getting all butthurt, because you can’t bang a woman. It’s a numbers game. And TRP can help you increase the odds. So I’d say for anyone seeking the best, the needles are in incredibly short supply. Men and women fuck up. Some exceptionally in many ways. Being able to weed our lady games, almost minimises bruised egos. Women get cats and eat chocolate.
This is not a school for white knights. He bought in to all that Victorian ideology of Ivanhoe and that sort of ilk, and he just didn’t listen to his primal forces. He didn’t take charge. Things got wild. He didn’t deserve that, but maybe that brutal awakening is what he needed to start his journey? That’s his opportunity - so the sooner he picks a direction in life, the faster he can get on with things.
Life is challenging. Gives you something to do.
iamanalterror_ 6y ago
I couldn't follow your comment, mate. There's a lot going on in it, it's wordy, and doesn't have an easy flow. Can you make your points more succinct?
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Nah, too sexist for him lol
yallapapi 6y ago
I lurk there just to read stories like this. It gives great perspective sometimes. I feel bad for a lot of those guys, kind of want to leave a link to TRP or something but I figure that's against the rules.
There are a lot of stories of wives who want a lot of sex and their husbands never give it up. Wonder what's up with that?
rockstarsheep 6y ago
Interesting point you make there.
I forget the correct terms, but I’ll take a guess. There are HL and LL? High Libido and Low Libido types of people; well they identify as such in DB’s. The question though is, what’s the measure for such a choice in categories? Not enough / sufficient testosterone in one or both partners? And variations thereof. Overwork? Not keeping up some game / tension / desire / attraction? Boredom with the same old same old?
I’ll add a little anecdote. I can remember lying in bed, next to my last ex, reading DB on my phone a few years ago. I was only 6 or 7 months in to my relationship with her and I was getting pissed off with her rebuffing my advances. She was always tired or depressed. Ironically she did heavy workouts, 3-4 times a week. Had plenty of energy for that. What do? Anyway, month 10 comes around. Little to no sex. Tried to talk it out, too many times, but no results. So I knew it was time to pull anchors and break up. After a little hamstering myself, I did. I’d been a similar situation before, however I stuck around for years. I swore I’d never do that again. The irony in the last relationship is that I point blank said at the beginning of that one; “You don’t put out, or I’m gone!” Little did I know then that she had a bit of a drinking problem and was a little over towards morbidly depressed. It was her outlook on life that ended up repulsing me. Add that to the DB, it was a time bomb waiting to go off.
Your_Coke_Dealer 6y ago
This is his red pill. He's awake now; he knows what women are like. All he needs is to figure out what to do with himself to deal with it
rockstarsheep 6y ago
You are totally correct. Let’s hope so.
TecnoParadox 6y ago
Yeah, it's one of those cases where you need to integrate redpill to your life before it's too late.
Makes you think doesn't it? How many life's did this Reddit page has managed to saved?
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Psychocist 6y ago
It's saved my life, that's for sure. I'm 30, and have only been dating last few years because I was so BP I thought I was 'forever alone'. Luckily found TRP after a year of dating and proceeded to cut off from all the women in my life to get my head straight.
Now at least I have nobody to blame but myself if I go and fuck my life up by choosing to close my eyes again.
TRP has helped me put women on the BOTTOM of things that matter in my life, behind myself, my mission, my finances and my leisure.. and even then I'm not willing to work that hard for 'em.
For that, I will be eternally grateful to this place, and no woman will ever be eternally grateful for me looking after he children for 20 years while she was fucking their father. My God, the things we do for pussy.
backpackvega 6y ago
This page saved my life. If i wasnt still a newbie Id reach out to this man myself
Your_Coke_Dealer 6y ago
He'll either save himself or he'll become an hero. It isn't our job to make sure he finds his way, but I think he got exactly the rude awakening he needs to do so
GilbertHamilton 6y ago
I think I need it, too. Just not sure how or where to start. Gym? I dunno. I need it twice over - in that the wife but also with my adopted kid. From my first marriage. My first wife died when kid was ten. I adopted him after she died. He was my stepson. He hates me at 16, now. Yet he’s also a creep sociopath and there is a lot more too it. (Due to bio dad. Etc.) I’m not as cold as I seem in this comment.
anyway - I often lurk this sub and I think I realize trp type stuff might help me survive, thrive, and provide. And not hurt myself in the process.
Matt22blaster 6y ago
Gym and diet is where you start. Its a lifestyle and it takes time, but it becomes a habit over time and you'll hate if you miss or fuck up the diet. There is no monetary value you can put on being able to look in the mirror and love what you see. Everything in your life can be going down the shitter, but youll find yourself happy for no reason when youre healthy; you can feel your sleeves stretching and that gut isn't hanging over your belt. You'll get looks from the opposite sex you're not used to getting, you get respect from men you're not used to getting, conversation and interactions with new people becomes easier as you feel your self consciousness slide away and your confidence swell. Gym and diet. Start today.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
Start small. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. You'll find yourself taking on more and growing in confidence as time goes by. If you work at things enough, they do get better or you change and remove those things / deal differently with those things that have an impact on your life. Lurk no more, you have people to talk to now. :)
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I don't think it is too late for him, but whether or not he's got enough in the tank to do it. He's been pretty well ground down. I don't know if I would have handled myself as well as he did.
This page has certainly had an impact on my life, and only in a positive way. I have learned a great deal about myself and the world I find myself in. I will admit that I have a small slither of hope that there are decent women out there, but as time ticks by and now I'm almost middle aged, I have some serious reservations.
Thing is, I'm not bitter. I'm happy with my progress in life. What's TRP done for you?
jomadic 6y ago
Exactly. Ive been cheated on for a few weeks but 20 years?! Unbelievable
Origami84 6y ago
Yep. By this stage, he is more MGTOW material than RDP. I dont think he has that much desire left to have a woman.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I couldn't imagine so either. Perhaps MGTOW would be his best approach for now. Let's just hope he's not going to walk in to another ambush, because people can only take so much before they snap.
brokenglassinbed 6y ago
Wtf would he even agree to go to dinner with his ex wife there is nothing absolutely zero to gain for it. I bet she got off on telling him twisting the knife.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
After being together so long... it’s not all that surprising tbh.
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thirdincomestream 6y ago
Nothing to gain from it, ever.
I heard it put once here that "going back to an ex is like a dog going back to its throw up and eating it."
Something about that raw imagery really made it stick.
DatingCoach111 6y ago
If he hadn't had dinner with her, he never would've had the opportunity to unplug. Guarantee you he'll be searching for TRP soon, if he hasn't already.
strngbdy_strngmnd 6y ago
Thank you for that image. Got it ingrained in me as well now.
As for the story, Only reason I image he went back to see her, was at first he thought maybe it had something to do with the kids. Then it shifted into thinking she wanted him back. What a FUBAR way to entrap someone into being the aggressor though. She is the one who did everything wrong, and it still seems she blamed him for not telling her what she wanted to hear. She probably convinced herself there was going to be some Hollywood movie bullshit at the end and the guy would just act like it's fine and give some monologue about the health and safety of the kids he raised that weren't his.
TecnoParadox 6y ago
I was never bitter, it just revealed fully what society was truly like and that I couldn't deny it for the amount of experiences that I had. Just took time to internalise it.
Best thing it did to me was to change the focus of my approval seeking behaviour from others to myself.
After almost two years I have never being healthier both from diet, meditation and ofc lifting. I am no longer taken by surprise from women's behaviour, I actually expect it and always have an exit plan and never get truly emotionally hurt although I still dream about the blue pill ideals but that I know it will always be just a fantasy.
I hope to give back someday with a quality post.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
Sorry mate. My wording was a bit off there. Apologies.
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rockstarsheep 6y ago
Sorry for the delayed response, mate. I was busy getting my groceries. I'm moving more in a keto direction, so was hunting down ingredients for dinner and breakfast this coming week.
Congratulations on your achievements. It's not so easy to just flip and switch and off you go. It's all trial and error, ultimately. Persistence is key and that's where I think many people give up. It's trying to do too much at once. Bruce Lee {apparently} said; "I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." Too many people don't get the ... crawl ... walk ... run method down. It's how SEALs are educated.
kieran9323 6y ago
i know that's not the point, right... off topic, but training thai style, thai way, 10000 body kicks, each leg, can be done very quickly, 6 months when in a camp training 5 days a week
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I didn't know that before now. Cheers for the extra information, mate. There's always something new to learn. There's always room for additional context.
Gizmoed 6y ago
Mostly TRP is trying to get blue pillars to be cucked. Yes I said pillars. Hey alphas how about you learn some respect for men who are honest.
Edit, don't worry you can't find any women who won't cuck a blue anyhow.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
Mate, if you understand the essence of TRP, then you're not going to come across as being bitter or sarcastic. I'd think that there is a spectrum of Blue - Purple - Red or whatever other category you can think of. Your task in life is to be a man, if you are a man, and that's all, really. It's really up to you. No one should be hating on anyone else. That's a sign of weakness. Real strength comes from having grit and integrity to call things as they are and behave appropriately.
Gizmoed 6y ago
I unfortunately was blue probably going through some anger but still see it takes two to tango. Good luck finding your unicorn. Self focus is fine you should be strong but encouraging spinning plates is helping rid us of unicorns.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I was / have been True Blue, most of my life. I'm not looking for a unicorn. I'd be happy with spinning plates. I just don't have spare time for them right now. I'm running and building several businesses. There's only so much time in the day. :)
I'll add this observation about RP, which I haven't seen much mention of. Men have their own variation of the Unicorn. It's the big boss man, wheeler dealer, know-it-all, feckless, unethical douchebag. In fact there's one running a country right now. The real men of this world, the hard men, they don't behave like that. Then again, politicians aren't real people anyway ;)
ATrashMan 6y ago
You two uninformed clowns bashing on Dr. President Trump is a very telling sign of how blue pill you two still are.
Gizmoed 6y ago
Yeah these types should never be looked up to but here we are. Grab them by the pussy...
Here is one, if I was told as a kid I would have so much sex I would get bored with it instead of God forbid if I ever see a nipple.
I try to not comment here but that guy is heroic for being exactly what society told him to be.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
Maybe it’s just a sign of the times. He’s tame by ancient standards. I’d not have liked to have been in the crosshairs of many an ambitious Roman wannabe power monkey.
I haven’t commented much here either. This post however. Wow. I know there’s a fair amount of hate and disdain for women here. I’ve had my fair share of rough and smooth. I like the game though. I hope this guy heals up.
Gizmoed 6y ago
Well we solved polio a bit ago.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I always miss the good parties! Damnit! ????
ohohohoholol 6y ago
Why do you guys think this guy fucked up? Or where specifically?
jomadic 6y ago
You can tell how he writes that he is passive and has zero frame and dominance. The fact that a 55 year old man is talking about "getting back together" with any woman is telling. She obviously calls the shots. My guess is that he is a very low SMV male and she is attractive. She's not sexually attracted to him.
greeb666 6y ago
Getting married in the first place.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Listening to what a woman says.
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JohnnyCocktails93 6y ago
Alpha fux <> Beta bux. Couldn’t be anymore crystal clear gents.
TuffGuy93 6y ago
women like this need to have their genitals mutilated so they can never enjoy sex and thus.. never cheat.
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DrinkMyPenis 6y ago
Shit, I would never raise another man's child on basic principle to begin with (it should never your fucking job to "man up" to compensate another guy's lack of responsibility,) not even taking into consideration the scenario in OP's post. And that fool did it for two whole decades. Just wow.
It doesn't matter how hot she might still be. A single mom is single for a reason, and usually that reason has to d with a lifetime of shit judgement or downright capriciousness back when she thought she had unlimited credit on that score.
halfback910 6y ago
Wait... so they did not have sex at all?
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[deleted] 6y ago
Another of countless examples about how men grow up believing in a fantasy of how women are and then gets his understanding of the world shattered. Called Cognitive Dissonance by the way.
Women aren't monogam and the idea of the family as it is portrayed on tv, radio, bed time stories, movies is a lie. That is not how women work, ever worked or will ever work. I feel sorry for you, but more importantly im thankful. Another warning which may stop me from ever being foolish enough to become married or try building a family.
deprimidaok 6y ago
irregardless of red pill theory, that therapist is awful. there was no need to disclose such harmful information AFTER they're divorced
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TuckerP 6y ago
Yeah but it was hurting her.
jomadic 6y ago
No it wasn't. Did she feel bad cucking this dude for two decades? She's probably aroused
deprimidaok 6y ago
so? you need to evaluate risks and benefits and not be selfish. it may relieve you, but it meant a world of damage to the person who wrote that post
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Therapist is AWALT trash as well i assumed. The therapists job is to care for his/her client and no one else.
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askmrcia 6y ago
Yea the issue is this message only gets preached here. In the real world they tell guys to give single mothers a chance because that's what real men do.
If a topic or related topic ever comes up about dating a woman who's a single mother. Try and say something along the lines of "hell no single mothers are trash and guys are simps for raising another man's child" people will attack you very quickly.
I know this because I have done this around co-workers and my own family. Ofcourse I didn't use the Red Pill Jargon or try and come off harsh, but I did make a point that no man should not date single mothers.
So where I'm getting at is if society basically teaches men its normal to date single mothers (because obviously the guy that single mother was previous with was an asshole and treated the poor princess like trash) then it makes sense why so many guys out there do it.
Zerophobe 6y ago
The worst part she dumped this truth on him so that she could feel good herself.
(Cause she came "clean")
Nice therapist she has.
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DatingCoach111 6y ago
I'd be surprised if she wasn't.
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primatepicasso 6y ago
Too bullshit of a story to be real
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Not only was he BPed, to which we all have probably fallen victim, but, he fucking cries to his new gf about it! Now, THAT is sad.
IsolatedBag 6y ago
It’s a good thing he did though! He wouldn’t have figured out that AWALT! This guy needed that double whammy of reality
[deleted] 6y ago
Look there is absolutely nothing odd with him confiding in his girlfriend about such a hurtful revelation, especially since not everyone is consciously aware of the redpill and its many sexual strategies. So excuse him for behaving like a rational human would and sharing his problem with his partner. Mr Redpill.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Normally, I'd say that there was the 1 in a million chance that you were right, and I MAY have been wrong (but, I wouldn't be). But...re-read the OP. You know that that fucker would still be crying to that bitch at least until now, if she hadn't froze up on him...
And, because I'm a generous sort, and I can't bear to see somebody languish in ignorance, I'll give you light beyond your years.
Q: What rational thing would a half a man say to his new woman about his old one that told him this? "Oh, boohoo, she was fucking around me behind my back ALL of our life together! Whaaa! She never loved me, and she told me so!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!RICKEEEEEEE!!!!"
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quityourbullshit777 6y ago
I'm not the OP, he deleted his account some weeks after posting this in deadbedrooms. I'm sure he needs your kind sentiments though, the dude seemed shattered.
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PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
This dude isn't an AFC. He's a WAY below average FC.
LandoChronus 6y ago
Not that this takes anything away from the post, but it has been posted here before.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I wonder how the December 17 discussion compares to the previous one.
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Lol yeah OP stated that up front
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Augustuscrassus 6y ago
Jesus this is some sidebar shit.
SrPildoraRoja 6y ago
This is golden. How on Earth does he think you get to share with a woman a story like this?
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Frdl 6y ago
Hearing you've been cucked for 22 years is not exactly tingles inspiring.
SrPildoraRoja 6y ago
Exactly this. Also, in Rollo Tomassi's words:
I recommend you begin with the sidebar material.
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Frdl 6y ago
Taking the red pill is not enjoyable, but it's reality.
jewishsupremacist88 6y ago
lol..this is this guys fault. i dont feel bad for him. hes a cuck and a beta.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
The "for that, I'm eternally grateful" should be a tipoff that it's madeup.
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SaintHolland 6y ago
Marry a church - going virgin. Problem solved.
jethreezy 6y ago
Usually the husband only finds out when he catches his bitch red-handed. This is one of those few rare cases where a thot has outed herself.
So just imagine all the "dead bedroom but otherwise happily married" husbands who don't got a wife that's been pushed towards being this forthright, due to whatever selfish reasons they may have.
atraw 6y ago
Now I know shmucks are just blue pilled men and there is still chance for them.
Momo_dollar 6y ago
Why did she confess?
To get rid of him but make it his choice
She was done with him as the kids are now older.
Also to find out if he had been been fucking anyone on the side
jomadic 6y ago
She sounds like she might be a narcissist/borderline. This whole interaction was set up to kill this dude's confidence after she spit him out.
He seems to have been emotionally abused for a few decades. He writes like the men on BPD forums, desperately hoping she asks to get back together. He needs a therapist and to leave relationships alone for good.
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Ehhh I'm doubtful of your first point but the last point is probably true.
It doesn't sound like they were really involved much in each other's lives when she contacted him to tell him, so I don't think it was to "get rid of him".
It was a closure thing for her I bet, but yes she probably did want to hear how much he cheated on her as a way of assuaging her guilt.
asotranq 6y ago
Probably just to make herself feel better. You'll notice at one point he says "she looked at me like I betrayed her". I promise you that if she thinks about this to herself or talks to her friends about this she'll play the victim and say how cold her ex husband was with her the last time she spoke, while cautiously omitting the truth of the situation the entire way. Also she gets to stick a dagger into this guy's heart again and which woman would pass up the opportunity to do that to her ex.
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AloneOnTheStrange 6y ago
I'm also curious as to why her therapist recommended she confess. Surely a therapist wouldn't recommend just dropping a bombshell on her ex-husband like that, unless she thought he deserved it. My guess is the therapist was told a sob story, to somehow make her the victim. The therapist thought she was telling a poor neglected woman to confront the one who drove her to commit infidelity.
I would even say the ex-wife shopped around for different therapists who would sympathize with her, and absolve her of (rightful) blame. Be weary, therapy is full of white nights of both genders. There's a reason they don't teach Red Pill stuff in psychology textbooks.
jomadic 6y ago
I agree wholeheartedly and its why I always say that therapy for women is a complete waste of money and time. Nothing is their fault. There's no way she told her therapist that she cucked this dude for 20 YEARS. Never in my life have I heard a woman confess to anything half as bad as that.
But most psychiatrists are quacks anyway. Beta men counseling women on how to deal with their emotions is as ridiculous as it sounds.
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
Closure and self validation.
ddiogenesofsinope 6y ago
Her lifes work is accomplished
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Transist0r420 6y ago
wish RP existed back in the day. I am blessed to have this info in my early 20's.
Reformed65 6y ago
This one sentence would piss me off so much, get the fuck out of here with this "our" bullshit. Did they come out of OP's cock when he fucked you? No, therefore you say "MY kids" not "OUR kids".
Trying to sly in and paint this picture that somehow the kids still belong to OP.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
It's done to piss him off. She knows what she's doing.
Reformed65 6y ago
You're right, the whole act is just to piss him off.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Everything a woman says and does is a shit test. If this guy reacted with ultimate dominance, fucked her in the asshole and fucked off, she'd be chasing him as AF.
strwbry-wild 6y ago
(Woman here) reading this story made me nauseous. My heart truly breaks for you. Women that pull this are no different than men that do this! They should all be shot, as to save a lot of people grief. I personally can not begin to understand how people can treat one another like this. Unfortunately, I know a lot of women in my life that fit this bill. And they are family :-(. I also know men who've done this. It's heartbreaking and sickening either way. I'm sorry for what you went through and I hope you find somebody that can truly be honest. At least the girlfriend was honest. I don't agree with her but she didn't put you through years of b****. I personally believe there is one man for one woman and one woman for one man. I have also been happily and successfully married for over 20 years and would be devastated if my husband did something like this to me. I give a hundred percent honesty that's all I ask for in return. I learned a lot of what not to do from my mom who had been married 6 times. And is never happy in a relationship. Even torments her own grown children and their families) Only took what she could get from them and kick them to the curb after. So I do know women are like this. She also dated some scumbags that were pretty awful too. I saw both sides. Imho just draw and quarter these kinds of people and just be done with it. But I'm all about capital punishment! I also like cars... 4x4s and guns, so that goes without saying. I hope you can find a real woman that won't pull this s not one that acts like a child????. We are few and far between but we are out there. Gl man
MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
Oh how naive. To think she needs a bed for Chad to fuck her.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm more interested in what Bob has to say.
We can learn from that lowlife pussy slayer
amekooky 6y ago
sounds like dale gribble finding out about his wife sleeping with john redcorn while he raises their kid.
timleif 6y ago
When women recount their past sexual relationships, it's "just sex". And yet if you want to have "just sex" with her right now, it magically changes into the Great Valuable Gem That Must Be Won Through Great Effort And Quivering Gina Tingles.
GTFOH.
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THEnimble_mongoose 6y ago
WTF? Why does this guy think that real men raise other men's kids?
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Because society is pro-woman and that is what it teaches men to do. It promotes strength through selflessness. You see this in a similar way with the military, putting others above yourself and being rewarded for it by society.
Look out for yourself.
bg2444 6y ago
Because "a real man" means sacrifice. Which at one point for society and others was an extremely virtuous trait. But now it's just being a chump or a trick or a mark.
For women, often they'll take care of shitty men who drink and lie or abuse them. In the past, taking care of someone was a virtuous trait too, but now it's the exact same as with men.
Each sex has traits that would make them fit and healthy as a parent, and instead they use those traits on people rather than their own children.
rhuffq 6y ago
Because that’s what society has told him. A “real man” cleans up the messes made by an irresponsible woman and nonsense such as that. Nevermind the fact that these “real men” did not interest the woman prior to her ruining herself.
That’s why TRP is so important. It dispels this false teaching and exposes it for the trap it is and saves lives.
sd4c 6y ago
Serial killers and mass murderers, get so much fan mail from women, that sometimes extra prison staff are needed to help with the volume of mail.
Including a guy who killed 87 children (Anders Brehvik)
Now guess how much lusty fan mail a cop or firefighter gets, when they save a couple dozen kids?
Guess who's much more likely to physically abuse their children: a single mom or a single dad? Hint
Guess who sent their boyfriend text messages authorizing him to molest her 4-month old baby?
Women are evil. Some of them are just better at getting away with it.
DON'T invest money in them.
DON'T trust them with secrets.
DON'T give them the key to your house, passwords, or let them know your net worth.
DON'T expect fidelity, or for them to even stick around- even if you have 5 kids.
DON'T assume her religion or upbringing will protect you.
DO assume that even if she says she loves you, and it's true, that it can change forever in an instant, for a completely trivial reason- such as discovering you like pancakes. Or because she doesn't like the name of your favorite college bar (this happened to me).
DO assume that her deceit is not concious- they are often completely unaware of their hypocrisy- precisely because deceit is far more effective when the deceiver believes their own lie. She can pass an FBI polygraph saying "I adore you and will absolutley love you forever", and then the very next day, pass one saying "It wasn't cheating; it didn't count because I didn't come."
WHY? Here's why:
The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."
The frog is satisfied with this logic, and agrees to take him as a passenger. They set out into the water, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink.
The frog knows they both will quickly drown, but has just enough time to gasp at the orange-brown arachnid: "Why?"
Replies the scorpion: "It's my nature. I'm a scorpion, after all."
gELSK 6y ago
// , Have you considered writing a post for the sub
Sensei_Hensei 6y ago
if their deceit isn't conscious why do they go to great lengths to hide it? women aren't toddlers they know right from wrong.
cherryCanSuckMyDick 6y ago
they really dont. On an intellectual level they know when theyre doing something thats wrong, but the mental process that causes a person to break down and yield to basic desires without consciously recognizing that they slipped is much more powerful in a womans brain. Men do it too, but women have far less resistance to those urges. Once its done they barely even remember that it happened
Holy-Kush 6y ago
You make a decent point (the words used were a bid agressive imo) but that story at the end really carried your entire message. Gonna remember this anecdote, thank you.
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seepa 6y ago
Dude, that was the most sick comment I have ever seen on the internet. Get help.
MisterRoid 6y ago
If you are a politically active in a Marxist party, you are my enemy. They want to make us White men oppressed minorities in our own nations. At this rate, with growing populations of non-Whites voting to steal the White man's wealth along with White Marxist traitors, most White nations are eventually going to need bloody revolutions which will make Breivik's killings pale by comparison.
seepa 6y ago
"steal the white man's wealth"
You sound like you think you are entitled to it.
MisterRoid 6y ago
Are you a cuck who enjoys paying taxes? Of course I think that I'm entitled to keep what I earn and not have it stolen from me and given to foreigners.
chuckthundercock 6y ago
This is a gut punch to every non TRP guy out there. Post-awakening its a "water is wet" post. All my kids have had genetic testing. Even the hamster can't argue around the health benefits of doing so, its a defacto paternity test under the guise of "health." Every TRP member with kids should get this done stat, in fact, it should be in the sidebar. Any resistance to such test lets you at least know that she's been fucking other guys. Edit: Added it as a sidebar recommendation.
kieran9323 6y ago
she met him in public space, coz she was afraid for her life, there is no other reason
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Biological father of "our kids." WAT... Dude.
Heyokalol 6y ago
Dude's so delusional it's beyond pathetic.
Dystaxia 6y ago
If you got into a long term relationship with someone who already had children and you raised those kids for 18 years, they would still be your kids in your mind. Biologically no but he was still the only father they ever really knew. To those children and how their lives were impacted, their real dad was nothing but a sperm donor.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
Sorry I would never do this. Sperm donor is dad, just as she proved. Kids and this guy are free to feel how they want, but for any man it's the ultimate covert contact.
oldrunnerguy 6y ago
Amazing, my heart goes out this man!!! I was married to a single mother for 22 years and now recently divorced. The sex progressively went away after putting a ring on her finger. Makes me wonder if things were all they seemed to be!!! I don't want to believe it, but it may fill in the puzzle!!
I can only hope that this gentleman can get on with his life!!!
Salted_Pretzel 6y ago
This hurts my heart just reading it. I can only imagine the amount of pain this person is going through right now.
Lego_My_Alter_Eggo 6y ago
Stories like this are why I can't get out of the anger phase. It's just so hard for me to fathom how a woman could do this and feel no remorse for 20 YEARS.
If I were cheating on my wife I'd feel constant guilty. I can't rationalize how women can do some of the most awful and disgusting things possible in a relationship and feel litterally nothing at all. Like they don't even consider what they're doing, like they have no empathy for anyone else in the world.
DatingCoach111 6y ago
Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. Each harbors their opposing resource in scarcity.
To a man, sexual affairs are the ultimate form of betrayal, while emotional affairs mean nothing.
To a woman, emotional affairs are the ultimate form of betrayal, while sexual affairs mean nothing.
jomadic 6y ago
It really looks more and more like women view betas as subhuman. Dogs get treated better than most men. Bottom line, if you dont give her the tingles, dont marry her. Sexual attraction is everything to them.
Crimson_Medicinal 6y ago
I like to think of it in a primal, National Geographic sort of way.
Does the female praying mantis give a fuck while its eating the head of it's mate?
Does the hyena give a fuck when its eating the ass out of a buffalo?
Nature is scary. I think as men we can control our basic biological triggers (anger, violence, territorial-ness) but I think the female triggers are much stronger and deeper ingrained.
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DatingCoach111 6y ago
The Cuckening 2 ????????????. Don't think I've ever thrown my head back so hard in laughter. This comment needs to be at the top.
SickOfIt518 6y ago
That should be a series of instructional videos.
Throwawaysteve123456 6y ago
Man, I feel for some of these DB guys. 80% of them scream infidelity, or at least the girl completely given up. For the female stories, which surprisingly is the majority, they describe mostly men that let themselves go, play video games, and jerk off rather than fuck their wives.
4angrydragons 6y ago
I used to frequently reply to these poor guys in deadbedrooms pointing them to Red Pill.
OracleofFl 6y ago
...and how many actually did?
You can lead a horse to water....
tybyday 6y ago
Ironic that after years of “I have a headache” they frequently complain of his lack of interest at the end.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
It's kind of crazy. One of my plates (hb9) basically dumped her ex because he was a drunkk that would barely fuck her once or twice a month and apparently NEVER initiated. I'm banging her brains out. She wakes me up in the morning by putting my dick in her mouth.
WTF is wrong with these dudes?
This dead bedroom guy probably never once just grabbed her, threw her down and fucked her.
bg2444 6y ago
Because sharing a house is the quickest way to kill attraction.
sd4c 6y ago
You don't know that. It's entirely possible, he started off strong, and that she fagged him up.
Also, sometimes it takes a few years, other times just one, but you almost always get tired of fucking the same chick, after you do it 10,000 times without cheating.
Somehow, cheating on her refreshes the well. I do not know why.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Refreshes the well for her where she's hornier, or for you where you actually want to bang her again?
sd4c 6y ago
The latter. Your utter relief at getting some strange tail makes vanilla ice cream appealing again. Doesn't work both ways- getting caught cheating only makes a woman hornier, if she's pathologically disturbed. Suspicion, however, can work wonders.
tybyday 6y ago
It’s because when she’s your wife she wants to go to bed early, have you tickle her back with no escalation to sex, etc. If you think a woman is giving you an accurate accounting of what’s really happening in that house you are sorely mistaken. Imagine being able to watch video of the interactions. You really think guys are turning down their horny, “honey please just come fuck me” wives? That old comedy Married with Children, closer to the truth at least.
antariusz 6y ago
Married with children is still funny, today.
Peggy was always trying to fuck Al, but Al had better shit to do with his life. Peggy would never cheat on Al because he’d have left her ass in a second. It’s red pill comedy.
BonelessSkinless 6y ago
Exactly. We WANT to fuck our wives and girlfriends. But it's really difficult when you try and she full out resists you or says she's tired or has a headache or some other dumb shit again and again and again.
BluepillProfessor 6y ago
Eventually many men give up. Then when the woman loses the pussy power that she used by repeatedly denying the man for years well THEN suddenly it is a DB problem! After a decade of bullshit and games now the repeated denials are not available (because he is no longer initiating) THEN she suddenly decides that she wants to have sex 3 times a week. After gaining 65 pounds and ONLY WHEN the man has given up, THEN it is a "problem."
Rian_Stone 6y ago
check your modmail professor :)
kieran9323 6y ago
"I'm tired" argument must be bs, when I'm tired I wouldn't mind have a wifey on top of me or doing oral
boscoist 6y ago
It's total BS. I had bronchitis and felt like I was gonna cough up a lung, still was able to let her take a ride. Damn I miss that crazy horse girl.
[deleted] 6y ago
"hb9". ha...I'm sure. on the internet everyone is fucking supermodels.
askmrcia 6y ago
Seriously though. I don't get why people feel the need the need to say "hbWhatever." Just say "one of my plates basically dumped her ex...." and leave the whole HB9 out of it.
The fact that people feel the need to post "I'm banging this HB9" its most likely BS. None of us here care how good she looks and her looks are basically irrelevant the whatever point they were trying to make.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Meh. I would post pics but it's a bad idea. Trust me man. I've fucked 10s before. Did I say she's a 10? No. She's a 9. I'm 6'4" in great shape, and build cool shit for a living. I have my pick of litter. Sorry you don't get to be that guy. Someone has to do it.
[deleted] 6y ago
Lol. “Hey bro I’ve fucked supermodels before. I have an amazing job, make a ton of money, people love me. Oh I’m tall too. Also got a 10 inch dick. Trust me.”
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Nah. I make GOOD money. Not a ton. And not a 10 inch but I'm doing just fine. The rest of it? Yeah, basically.
[deleted] 6y ago
I’m just trolling homie. Keep on plowing those bitches
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Don't have to tell me twice! Holler if you're in Austin. You can chill at my dope ass pad and we'll chase ass
Xevalous 6y ago
If they aren't initiating and don't desire their women, you're getting table scraps.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Meh, she just moved here from a long way away. I've seen pics of the dude. Trust me, he was a drunk who let himself slide and was way out if his league with this chick. This chick isn't kibble, she's a cut of prime.
Xevalous 6y ago
So you're telling me a guy out of her league had no desire to fuck her? Something doesn't add up.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Of course I don't know the whole story and I'm sure there's a lot more to it. But I'll say that she's a bad bitch. Hot, fun, has her shit together.
Have you never met a guy with a hot gf just let himself slide? Who became an alcoholic? Whiskey dick is a real thing.
sd4c 6y ago
She's bullshitting you, bro. Be careful not to catch feelings
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Fair enough! Gotta keep each other in check
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
If the same woman was married to you for 5 or 10 years, I doubt she would be putting your dick in her mouth on a Sunday morning too, despite the fact that you're this 'big alpha'.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Yeah I wasn't really clear. First paragraph l was talking about a chick I'm seeing.
Last paragraph is was referring to the guy the thread starter was talking about.
And you're right-- I WAS married for 11 years and wasn't woken up by a bj for a LONG time lol. But when I dumped her, she lost her shit for sure.
1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v 6y ago
OK, but isn't that the point of being RedPill? You don't move to LTR, never stay with someone for 5-10 years... because when one day she stops "putting your dick in her mouth" as you say it, he just gets a new one...
He will never have that problem...
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
What's the sexual strategy if you intend to have children?
Moist___ 6y ago
Adopt, or somehow win full custody against a girl ( near impossible nowadays)
havelbrandybuck 6y ago
Adopting and raising another mans kid makes you a literal biological beta and is worse than being in a typical marriage.
Moist___ 6y ago
Well it's that or get divorce raped
MAGA_God-Emperor 6y ago
Or have a prenup. Or not put your house in joint names. Or have LTR without marriage. Or consistently improve yourself so that most women wouldn't think of branch swinging. Or find the ultraconservative girl that literally takes death do us part seriously. At the very least if you've protected your assets then she won't rape you after you've spread your seed.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
I often wonder if the reason why men go off their wives is because men age better than women. Whenever I read about a 5 plus year marriage go sexless I imagine the wife hitting the wall and the guy wondering what the hell happened.
Men are fortunate because hitting the gym, eating right and grooming can keep their looks well into their 40s but women are pretty much screwed by the late 20s. Add to the stress to their bodies of having kids and you can understand why men who were mainly attracted to their wives physically would go dead bedroom on them.
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Women aren't necessarily doomed by late 20s. They certainly peak about 10 maybe 15 years earlier than men, and age accordingly about the same ahead of men.
However I was just at a Christmas party last night and was noticing the difference in aging in the women there roughly in the 28-30 bracket. Some were looking like their goose was cooked, pretty rough. But there were some others who were very beautiful and looked like they would still be attractive thru their 30s.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
Ehhh come to the UK man and I'll show you some horrors
askmrcia 6y ago
Its the same in the USA. But women can still look very good into their 30s IF they choose to take care of themselves. That means eat right and work out at the gym. I mean really work out not that walk on the treadmill at slow ass speeds for two hours.
The problem is most women choose not to do that. So yea that's why they age faster. Men have this issue too. If they don't workout when they are in their 30s+ then they will age fast.
The difference is, men's looks don't mean as much as a woman so if that man has high status and money he can still be very attractive to women. Women with high status and money with diminished looks are still unattractive.
truedemocracy3 6y ago
Pale, chubby, and bad teeth. Maybe hairy arms too. Sorry mate
kieran9323 6y ago
that's because you surround yourself with working classes, next time ask yourself, did that 40yo woman graduate from russell group uni?
truedemocracy3 6y ago
nah I just made a british stereotype. I am well above and beyond working class types in the dating world.
tybyday 6y ago
This is shows a complete lack of understanding of male attraction and sexuality. Seems you also have zero experience being in a ltr as a man. Instead of explaining men’s behavior from a female perspective you might look at it from the male perspective. Men are not fortunate at all just as women are not fortunate at all. The genders have opposite trajectories. There’s pros and cons to both every step along the way. As far as men “leaving” the bedrooms? Unbelievable mental gymnastics to make that the male problem. If a man is weathered down for years and then, as a shell of his former self, he’s the reason she longer has attraction and is no longer interested in sex? What accountability is there for the other side of that equation? I estimate most men experience something close to 30-1 the number of times they hear no vs. say it. And guaranteed that 1 is used repeatedly to claim no interest on his part.
MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
Several LTR's I've had were with women who never turned me down for sex once. One of them told me when we first started dating, "Just so you know I will NEVER say no to you for sex."
Her and a few others actually had sex drives even stronger than my own! Imagine 15-year old me, with one notch, and my 15-year old gf is talking dirty to me and wanting sex in public!
Sex drive mismatches can kill a relationship. Having similar libidos is a non-negotiable for me at this point in my life.
Being with a girl who doesn't want sex as much as you can really be soul-crushing.
tybyday 6y ago
I’ve had the same experience and agree. I have also seen my relationships flip/flop about who wants it more. There’s a reason that happens and ways to keep at bay.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
Hmmmm interesting.
For the record, I've had a few ltrs and was only airing my thoughts rather than stating them as fact. Also, I am a man, not sure if that was clear in my post...
My opinion was based upon personal experience with my now ex wife, and speaking only about physical attraction only. I kept myself in shape and left the marriage (in part, there were many many other factors for sure) because she certainly didn't look after herself in the same way.
Anyway, have my upvote as you've given me something to think about. But I must reiterate, it was only a passing thought I thought I'd share. If you don't agree then fine, it's all good.
tybyday 6y ago
I would love to hear your experience. My own experience is also the only thing I can really know the world from as well. I appreciate your response to be honest. I’m not joking when I say I don’t know any man who left a relationship due to her physical appearance. I’m not saying justified and no judgement on my part. I know many men who’s wives got really heavy and they did not. They’re not in happy marriages but they’re in it nevertheless.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
That's the thing though - there are many men who stay in unhappy marriages for various reasons. I've worked with and been friends with plenty of such men and, like yourself, I don't know any who have left for that reason.
To explain my limited experience, I messed around a lot until 30 and ended up having a kid with someone who pretty much caught me out - I don't regret it as my boy lives with me and I'm a single dad, but after he came along I settled down with a 20 year old and had a started a family with her - so there was some age difference. We had a kid and we ended up marrying but 6 or so years later things weren't so good. Ironically she was intensely jealous and possessive (checking my emails/social media/phone and phone bills, calling people's numbers she didn't recognise, that sort of stupidity) and I took a good long look at our relationship and decided that the only reason I could convince myself to stay was because of the kids, which I knew they wouldn't thank me for in years to come. She was a great girl to start off with but we were both pretty strong characters, and it became apparent that neither were going to change or compromise.
I never regretted my decision to walk and I listen to my friends and work colleagues bitch about their wives and wonder why they don't walk too but to be fair it is a big step to take. Saying that you leave just because you're not physically attracted to your partner probably is a little shallow but my original train of though was why men stop sleeping with their wives, especially what with all that good porn out there haha
tybyday 6y ago
Fair enough, I don’t exactly resonate with that but my entire life I was very BP/ and women worshipping. I hear about sexless marriages and all I can think is they both want to fuck other people. good chance she is.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
Hey man I was BP until mid twenties after being burned one time too many. I was in a 4 year relationship and the girl went DB on me, in that time I slept with more women on average at that time than when I was single.
I used to REALLY worship women - I had it kind of beaten into my head whilst growing up, family is everything etc. That was my downfall back then, and used to always put the girl I was with on a pedestal. It took me ages to work out that they were just people, not better or worse (well maybe!) than me, and although it's a nice fantasy, you either wake the hell up or get your ass kicked.
I won't brag about how my life changed after that point, and I certainly didn't have it all worked out - I still don't, hence the reason why I'm subbed here (and thank goodness I have, it was like a breath of fresh air when I found TRP) - but I'm glad that I'm not in the situation I hear or read that some people allow themselves to be stuck in.
Edit: thanks for your reply.
tybyday 6y ago
I just see the majority of men having no clue why their wives don’t like sex anymore. I see the majority of women having no clue why their man is not what he used to be. It’s an entire different world for me now. I imagine we have more in common than not. Happy Sunday to you.
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
I don't know man. I'm 39, one woman I'm seeing is also. Her body is as fine as any 20 something. Sure, her face shows her age a bit, but she runs 20+ miles a week, and takes care of herself. Sexy AF. I ALSO know a woman who is 55 or so that is a flat out dime piece. Again, gym, diet, good attitude, clean living.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
Yeah true fella. Women CAN look after themselves but it seems to be much more of an uphill struggle for them, or so it seems here in the UK anyway.
A good example I guess is my gym insofar as there are a fair few men my sort of age (44) keeping themselves in good shape, hardly any women though unfortunately. And you see this when you go out in pubs and clubs, hell even in the street. You see a hot 40-something woman and it's a real surprise.
I've dated a fair few women since leaving my marriage and it's a lot harder finding a woman my sort of age and in shape. I feel I should say that looks and physique aren't everything but in the context of my previous comment, I just imagined that maybe there were some husbands just going off their wives physically.
Fair play to you though mate, enjoy your hot girlfriend!
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Haha I am dude! And a few others as well! Come to Austin and I'll take you out cougar hunting. LOTS of hot mamas in their 40s here.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
Fella, if I'm ever lucky to come over to the States I'll take you up on your offer and I'll bring my best British accent too!
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
I'll add one other thing though. Maybe your women don't age well but when they're in their twenties they're something else.
I hooked up with a girl from South Shields who was here visiting a couple of years back. She's in my top 3 all time list for sure. Amazing fuck.
I hope she takes care of herself. For obvious reasons because maybe I'll come over that way someday.
FinnFerrall 6y ago
Hey stop fucking all our best women! Leave some for us, you have enough of your own over there!
To be fair, there are some stunners in their late 20s/early 30s but I was married to a girl 11 years younger than me and in that instance the age difference, I think proved to be another factor in the marriage being doomed. Maybe.
I'm meant to go on a date with a hot 42 year old but there's some serious red flags from her most recent texts - her ex/father of her children really broke her heart, her walls are up etc. Sounds like the lady has some issues :/
PhaedrusHunt 6y ago
Sounds like she's primed for a pounding to me mate. She's an alpha widow. Up his alpha. Fuck her brains out.
360_no_scope_upvote 6y ago
Honestly surprised this guy hasn't strangled this woman to death.
askmrcia 6y ago
This was my thoughts as well. I can't imagine something like this happening to me. If it did I have no idea how I'd react. It would take every ounce of my will power to not beat this lady to death.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
borcibor 6y ago
I think you need to learn to read again. This did not happen to OP
skywaspdefensive 6y ago
If it seems unreal then you haven't swallowed the pill yet. I don't say that as an insult by the way. You really have to see it with your own eyes before you believe all this stuff.
It's very realistic and I'd probably say common. I've witnessed basically the same story as this one.
kieran9323 6y ago
maybe he worked 80 hours weeks or something
quityourbullshit777 6y ago
The story seems real because he actual made a post like a week BEFORE this one or some other period of time..
He talked about going to meet her or something soon and this is the post that he made some time later.
You can search for the post through the info at the bottom of my post and you can find it.
quityourbullshit777 6y ago
Here it is:
To people who don't believe this post, here is the post the OP made a week before:
This might be wrong but I noticed something in the last couple of years.
Basically I came here for advice, and eventually decided to get a divorce with my then 56LL wife of 22 years. I decided to get a gym membership and a friend introduced me to this Ketogenic diet.
I focused on ME, I worked out, I ran my dogs more, I bonded with my step son despite the failed marriage, and I lost over 18 lbs in just a couple months. The confidence of her not breaking my spirit on a daily basis is astounding! Some things I've noticed in the last 3 years however, are troubling, and also giving me hope.
I might be way off base, and maybe this only applies to my age group, but here's what I've noticed since re entering the dating pool.
In the last 3 years I've dated 4 women, all around my age (55), one of them I am still seeing, the other 3 I am not. Sorry if this is a long story, but I always noticed with my ex wife that she didn't really pay attention to stuff, in general, like situational awareness, etc. So for some examples, if I enter a room and my partner says their knee hurts, I might ask if they need anything while I'm up. She just doesn't, ever, not even once. If I asked her to pay a bill, she'd forget by the next day. If I taught her how to operate the wood stove 18 thousand times, she'd still not remember it, and after the 18thousand and first time, she'd say "I get it!" all snappy, yet not remember the next time. She would forget to put oil in her car, or put gas in, I'd almost always find her vehicle in some inoperable state of disarray that was 100% preventable. I'd teach her how to pump gas, she'd forget by the next time we went out, I could actually see it in her eyes, the confusion and realizing she wasn't faking it, she really did not remember how. She'd forget events, most memories, I'd say "remember last year where we put the Tarps in the garage, it's by those..." and she'd say "we have tarps?" YES, WE DO, I WATCHED YOU PUT THEM THERE.
At one point we thought she had a tumor, or a brain cancer, because it REALLY was an issue, she would forget to pay a bill, and when I pointed out that we got, and she OPENED personally, multiple "Shutoff" notices, she'd look completely confused.
I could basically watch a movie with her, and a few weeks later watch it again, and she'd say she had never seen it before, same with books, same with basically anything. She'd make a recipe and realize the temperature was too high, mention "Next time I'll cook it lower!" and then next time burn it again, and go through the whole "It was too hot!" realization process.
I bought her a toy that she had been begging me for, a K'nex kit, you know, that little kids play with. So they are pretty basic, but each time she pulls it out, I have to re teach her how they snap together, yet she holds a job, has friends, drives a vehicle, etc... She's a professional to boot, she is a counselor of sorts, in a very stressful and demanding job, and does her job NO PROBLEM, never forgets ANYTHING. So, after 20 years of DB with her I finally pulled the plug, and back to the present, have dated 4 new women in the last few years. One of them was NOT a DB type of woman. I took her fly fishing last month, she picked it up in one day, ONE DAY, we went out the next weekend she still remembered how to tie a knot, was excited to be there, and ACTUALLY had absorbed all the information I gave to her about fish habitats and where they might be hiding, like she was repeating my own phrases back to me and smiling and having fun.
I taught her how to use my woodstove (typical woodstove) and she started a fire with it the next morning. The other 3 women were the opposite, just like my ex wife, I would teach them how to use my coffee maker, and by the next day it was "Can you make coffee? I can't figure it out!"
I actually kinda lost my temper a bit with one of them, and said soemthing very rude and unlike me, "Do you pay attention EVER or is this just how you are?"
She acted like I had just dropped salt in a wound, she broke down, and basically said that it had been an issue in all her relationships, that she just didn't see the world how most people do, that stuff that is easy for most people is really hard for her, and yada yada. I pointed out that it's funny because things SHE likes, she has no problem remembering them, or self teaching, or growing, or you know, paying attention.
I apologized and we decided it was best to go our separate ways, so over the next year I date two more women, both are the same, both can't pay attention, I can tell them stuff, they don't remember it 10 minutes later. I eventually lose my temper on them too, again, and say stuff like "Have you ever attempted, um, maybe, trying to pay attention?" and they both did the same, almost instantly melted down into sobbing and saying "All men say this to me, I'm just not like other women!" etc etc.
I have noticed with my new girlfriend, the one that actually pays attention, that it seems to transfer into all kinds of other areas of our lives, she pays bills without me having to beg her to, she uses the correct account, she cancelled our yard trimmers and informed me that she likes using Lawn Mowers and will mow the lawn as an enjoyable thing she likes to do. She took my car to the shop and had it fixed without even asking me, she just seems to get it, like, she thinks...
Now here's where I might be going off a tangent, but I REALLY really don't think so, and sure there's gonna be a few people saying "I don't think those things are connected..." but here's why I think you're wrong. Paying attention is one of the most critically important things you can do for your partner, besides it's ability to keep you both on the same page, it also creates a communication platform, you know, like when I would get mad at the stove, if it was burning funny, IF my wife had ANY clue how stoves worked, she could have said "I hate when the cold air pushes the smoke back down." Instead, she was just running around the house like a, excuse my french, idiot going "Why is this happening?!?!" despite me having explained it to her countless times. People that don't pay attention to things that can KILL you if mishandled, are certainly not going to pay ANY attention to your personal needs, think about it, they don't even care enough to make sure you don't suffocate in your sleep. My current SO loves intimacy, we have sex probably once a week at least, this is UNHEARD of for me, the previous 3 women, the other ones like my wife that refused to pay attention to anything around them, basically told me within a few weeks that "Sex just isn't that important to me, at this point in my life." When I asked them why it wasn't, they couldn't even give me an answer, they actually didn't even understand their own reasons, ie, they don't even pay attention to their own thoughts. That's terrifying!
I just can't help but notice that in my dating experience, all of the LL people I dated, seemed to not pay attention to much other than their own short term desires and needs.
I think that people who DO pay attention to stuff around them, and actually invest into relationships, and hobbies, and knowing information, they are the ones that are more likely to give you that same investment, because knowing stuff, and investing is part of what brings them fulfillment. Just food for thought, have a good day all.
Apologies if this has been brought up before, and apologies if I'm way wrong, but I really think there's something to this. My step son has a really healthy relationship with his wife, and I noticed it with her too, she just pays attention, I teach her stuff that she actually remembers every time I see them, it feels so good to know they actually listen and pay attention, which makes me pursue a relationship with them, which in turn leads to them doing the same. I think these LL people, in a lot of cases, not all, are just bad at paying attention, hence why one partner is always standing there going "HOW DO THEY NOT SEE THIS FOR WHAT IT IS!?" Because, they don't pay attention! HELLO!
Update - I absolutely love how the top rated comment here is a girl "womansplaining" to me that this was all actually my fault for wanting my wife to know how to not kill us with the wood stove because "You're boring and you talk about man stuff so no wonder she ignored you." In essence saying I deserved it. Wow.. WOW... I have no words. This is the same type of thing that get's men called out for being selfish.
boscoist 6y ago
Did you also post this one over here? I remember reading it, though I think it was close to a year ago.
[deleted] 6y ago
This is a great post by anyone's measurement.
sadomasochrist 6y ago
50 years in the dark. TRP is the greatest weapon men have ever been gifted.
tybyday 6y ago
I don’t know if the story is true or not but my own eyes have seen shit exactly like this. Completely plausible.
_the_shape_ 6y ago
Absolutely plausible, yes. In fact, I personally know of worse, in my opinion.
I have a good friend who after the brutal realization that he had been a blissfully unaware cuck for close to a year and a half, raising another man's child who looked nothing like my friend (or the mother for that matter), left her and the kid, contemplated his next move for a few months, and pitifully chose to return to living life as a willing cuck.
It wasn't until he found himself in jail not even a year later for a domestic violence charge that his eyes finally opened up and he realized the pool of toxic sewage that had become his life that he was swimming in daily.
Not that I ever even had a drop of attraction for the girl he had crippling oneitis for, but she committed somewhere in the range of 10-12 transgressions that I personally was aware of (I'm sure there were many more I never heard of) that I thought would have prompted any other self-respecting man to sever all communication forever, but this dude just kept coming back for more and more, a bullet (so to speak) grazing the tip of his nose being the catalyst for him to wake up and say "enough".
It's not far-fetched at all to argue that the blue pill/a raging case of oneitis/lack of self-respect etc. have death as one of several painful, logical ends.
Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 6y ago
BPD women are like heroin....they are VERY hard to give up....red pill aware or not!
Look up borderline women, they are usually the most attractive, sexual, and addictive relationships that a man will ever experience....I was married to two of them.
_the_shape_ 6y ago
Agree. Been there before myself, several years back.
I was fortunate enough on two fronts:
1) although she was the hottest girl I've ever been with and had the tightest pussy I've ever experienced, she seemed to suffer from vaginismus, making it too unbearable for her to have sex for more than 5-7 minutes tops, so I was on the verge of ending it anyway on account of sexual frustration
2) one night, only a single month into our 'relationship', a small disagreement quickly escalated to my surprise, leading her to remove the 'mask' and show me every bit of rage and poison festering inside of her, and from that point onward, I could only see a physically attractive but completely unhinged lunatic, pushing me to call it quits very shortly thereafter
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
tybyday 6y ago
I honestly believe women are subconsciously programmed to try and break their partner. They want an unbreakable man. That’s the way you know if you have one. I have seen the worst female behavior when he’s at his lowest. So to be objective. My understanding is that males are much more likely to cheat on their partner when she’s pregnant. So touché feminists, Beat you too it. We’re all smart apes that are still biologically driven pieces of self serving shit most of the time.
BonelessSkinless 6y ago
"I have seen the worst female behavior when he's at his lowest."
This rings so true, right when you need her to support you the most... knife in your artery.
tybyday 6y ago
Think of it as the ultimate stress test.
mishasam89 6y ago
"because I was "Too good" for her, and that she never thought I actually loved her."
Can someone explain WTF this means?
jomadic 6y ago
Its the same as "its not you, its me"
cashmoney_x 6y ago
He was a beta "nice guy" and not attractive to her.
suxxos 6y ago
Guys do the same thing all the time. Let's not by hypocrites. Most guys I know have cheated/cheat regularly on their wives/girlfriends and don't even feel guilty about it. (Even the ones that have OK wives.)
FAT_BALLSACK 6y ago
Damn dude. He finds out his current gf likes to get fucked down by Reggie Everyman and the only thing he's thinking is he doesn't find her attractive now? As anxious as this post makes me he needed to find out instead of living a fucking lie. Good god
Your_Coke_Dealer 6y ago
You can tell by the context that the poor guy isn't a participant of this sub. He doesn't know how to describe his reaction to what just happened to him in our terms. He's feeling the same disgust as any of us would when discovering the nature of females for the first time, and I remember that for me it also manifested itself as a loss of attraction. Unlike you I don't feel anxious at all, just a little pity and empathy for the guy. There's disrespect meant by this, but if that's your reaction, you're probably still in the anger phase. He's where many of us were when we started, at least emotionally. He just learned a harder way than most of us.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
It takes time to change perspectives.
tybyday 6y ago
Sometimes a single moment can change one’s perspective.
throwawaydefriended 6y ago
As intrigued as one might be to read this, needs a tl;dr.
UrsusG 6y ago
I call fake on this story. It reads like a comment bait creative writing exercise.
Why would she confess? Because her therapist advised her to? Because she wanted it off her conscience? (lol).
If the hypothetical woman had been adamant enough to continue an extramarital affair for 18 years without it getting on her conscience (lol), she wouldn't need a confession.
The confession gained her nothing, and if ex husband had gone crazy with that information, it could have even damaged her reputation.
tl,dr: bullshit
naturallykurious 6y ago
She probably didn’t need him anymore after he was done raising the kids and shit.
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Na most women do have a conscience, but they are just really good at hamstering it away when it doesn't suit their biological imperatives.
Probably without realizing it she was acting out the perfect AF/BB female need. Biological dad was still her "alpha" but she needed to find a provider for her kids so she found this poor guy to extract resources from. And this biological need to find providership for her offspring was enough to override the conscience, probably via some ridiculous female "journey" narrative a la Eat Pray Love or some other chicklit BS hamster fuel.
However, once the biological imperative is fulfilled (i.e. kids grown), it no longer drives the massive rationalizing machine that was needed to cuck this guy. So the conscience is no longer outweighed. Cue therapist and her making the "breakthrough".
MichaelKarlPopper 6y ago
She had nothing to lose at that point (whatever it is) and decided to take it out of her chest. It doesn't have to be anything in return, pure selfish behavior as as you can expect.
quityourbullshit777 6y ago
Here is the post the OP made a week before which I think makes it unlikely it was just a creative writing exercise made up on a spur:
To people who don't believe this post, here is the post the OP made a week before:
This might be wrong but I noticed something in the last couple of years.
Basically I came here for advice, and eventually decided to get a divorce with my then 56LL wife of 22 years. I decided to get a gym membership and a friend introduced me to this Ketogenic diet.
I focused on ME, I worked out, I ran my dogs more, I bonded with my step son despite the failed marriage, and I lost over 18 lbs in just a couple months. The confidence of her not breaking my spirit on a daily basis is astounding! Some things I've noticed in the last 3 years however, are troubling, and also giving me hope.
I might be way off base, and maybe this only applies to my age group, but here's what I've noticed since re entering the dating pool.
In the last 3 years I've dated 4 women, all around my age (55), one of them I am still seeing, the other 3 I am not. Sorry if this is a long story, but I always noticed with my ex wife that she didn't really pay attention to stuff, in general, like situational awareness, etc. So for some examples, if I enter a room and my partner says their knee hurts, I might ask if they need anything while I'm up. She just doesn't, ever, not even once. If I asked her to pay a bill, she'd forget by the next day. If I taught her how to operate the wood stove 18 thousand times, she'd still not remember it, and after the 18thousand and first time, she'd say "I get it!" all snappy, yet not remember the next time. She would forget to put oil in her car, or put gas in, I'd almost always find her vehicle in some inoperable state of disarray that was 100% preventable. I'd teach her how to pump gas, she'd forget by the next time we went out, I could actually see it in her eyes, the confusion and realizing she wasn't faking it, she really did not remember how. She'd forget events, most memories, I'd say "remember last year where we put the Tarps in the garage, it's by those..." and she'd say "we have tarps?" YES, WE DO, I WATCHED YOU PUT THEM THERE.
At one point we thought she had a tumor, or a brain cancer, because it REALLY was an issue, she would forget to pay a bill, and when I pointed out that we got, and she OPENED personally, multiple "Shutoff" notices, she'd look completely confused.
I could basically watch a movie with her, and a few weeks later watch it again, and she'd say she had never seen it before, same with books, same with basically anything. She'd make a recipe and realize the temperature was too high, mention "Next time I'll cook it lower!" and then next time burn it again, and go through the whole "It was too hot!" realization process.
I bought her a toy that she had been begging me for, a K'nex kit, you know, that little kids play with. So they are pretty basic, but each time she pulls it out, I have to re teach her how they snap together, yet she holds a job, has friends, drives a vehicle, etc... She's a professional to boot, she is a counselor of sorts, in a very stressful and demanding job, and does her job NO PROBLEM, never forgets ANYTHING. So, after 20 years of DB with her I finally pulled the plug, and back to the present, have dated 4 new women in the last few years. One of them was NOT a DB type of woman. I took her fly fishing last month, she picked it up in one day, ONE DAY, we went out the next weekend she still remembered how to tie a knot, was excited to be there, and ACTUALLY had absorbed all the information I gave to her about fish habitats and where they might be hiding, like she was repeating my own phrases back to me and smiling and having fun.
I taught her how to use my woodstove (typical woodstove) and she started a fire with it the next morning. The other 3 women were the opposite, just like my ex wife, I would teach them how to use my coffee maker, and by the next day it was "Can you make coffee? I can't figure it out!"
I actually kinda lost my temper a bit with one of them, and said soemthing very rude and unlike me, "Do you pay attention EVER or is this just how you are?"
She acted like I had just dropped salt in a wound, she broke down, and basically said that it had been an issue in all her relationships, that she just didn't see the world how most people do, that stuff that is easy for most people is really hard for her, and yada yada. I pointed out that it's funny because things SHE likes, she has no problem remembering them, or self teaching, or growing, or you know, paying attention.
I apologized and we decided it was best to go our separate ways, so over the next year I date two more women, both are the same, both can't pay attention, I can tell them stuff, they don't remember it 10 minutes later. I eventually lose my temper on them too, again, and say stuff like "Have you ever attempted, um, maybe, trying to pay attention?" and they both did the same, almost instantly melted down into sobbing and saying "All men say this to me, I'm just not like other women!" etc etc.
I have noticed with my new girlfriend, the one that actually pays attention, that it seems to transfer into all kinds of other areas of our lives, she pays bills without me having to beg her to, she uses the correct account, she cancelled our yard trimmers and informed me that she likes using Lawn Mowers and will mow the lawn as an enjoyable thing she likes to do. She took my car to the shop and had it fixed without even asking me, she just seems to get it, like, she thinks...
Now here's where I might be going off a tangent, but I REALLY really don't think so, and sure there's gonna be a few people saying "I don't think those things are connected..." but here's why I think you're wrong. Paying attention is one of the most critically important things you can do for your partner, besides it's ability to keep you both on the same page, it also creates a communication platform, you know, like when I would get mad at the stove, if it was burning funny, IF my wife had ANY clue how stoves worked, she could have said "I hate when the cold air pushes the smoke back down." Instead, she was just running around the house like a, excuse my french, idiot going "Why is this happening?!?!" despite me having explained it to her countless times. People that don't pay attention to things that can KILL you if mishandled, are certainly not going to pay ANY attention to your personal needs, think about it, they don't even care enough to make sure you don't suffocate in your sleep. My current SO loves intimacy, we have sex probably once a week at least, this is UNHEARD of for me, the previous 3 women, the other ones like my wife that refused to pay attention to anything around them, basically told me within a few weeks that "Sex just isn't that important to me, at this point in my life." When I asked them why it wasn't, they couldn't even give me an answer, they actually didn't even understand their own reasons, ie, they don't even pay attention to their own thoughts. That's terrifying!
I just can't help but notice that in my dating experience, all of the LL people I dated, seemed to not pay attention to much other than their own short term desires and needs.
I think that people who DO pay attention to stuff around them, and actually invest into relationships, and hobbies, and knowing information, they are the ones that are more likely to give you that same investment, because knowing stuff, and investing is part of what brings them fulfillment. Just food for thought, have a good day all.
Apologies if this has been brought up before, and apologies if I'm way wrong, but I really think there's something to this. My step son has a really healthy relationship with his wife, and I noticed it with her too, she just pays attention, I teach her stuff that she actually remembers every time I see them, it feels so good to know they actually listen and pay attention, which makes me pursue a relationship with them, which in turn leads to them doing the same. I think these LL people, in a lot of cases, not all, are just bad at paying attention, hence why one partner is always standing there going "HOW DO THEY NOT SEE THIS FOR WHAT IT IS!?" Because, they don't pay attention! HELLO!
Update - I absolutely love how the top rated comment here is a girl "womansplaining" to me that this was all actually my fault for wanting my wife to know how to not kill us with the wood stove because "You're boring and you talk about man stuff so no wonder she ignored you." In essence saying I deserved it. Wow.. WOW... I have no words. This is the same type of thing that get's men called out for being selfish.
tybyday 6y ago
He’s not totally destroyed until she tells him.
EugWill 6y ago
Agreed Confessions about the most mundane issues are not truthful and still have twisted facts, let alone something like this.
Auvergnat 6y ago
Had a girl confessing to cheating on me because the guilt was too much for her. So that's possible. Especially the way it is being described, with crying profusely before admitting in order to soften up her victim, and rationalizing the reasons after admitting to absolve herself of responsibility.
That said, it still reads as a creative writing exercise, and doesn't explain how she would feel the need to let go of that guilt now after decades of successfully bottling it up.
Losingsteamfast 6y ago
1) Guilt. "If i confess and say sorry then I'm no longer the bad guy. That was the old me that cheated so it doesnt really count anymore."
2) The important part- She assumed he was also cheating. It probably wasnt a geniune confession/apology as much as it was a way to make herself feel better about her shitty behavior by finding out what he did.
If it was fake I don't think he would paint himself as such a weak person and then end the story with his his new girlfriend also explaining how she either has cheated or will cheat eventually.
Take it for what it worth but I've had an ex gf confess shit to me post break up too.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
They express on the condition that the guy falls apart and they justify that it was acceptable because he was a beta and he was worth nothing.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I'm sure she got a Fucking kick out of telling him. They may have recently passed some legal hurdle like finishing a divorce settlement or something and she can finally let him know what a cuck she made him without any possibly repercussion. Using the therapy breakthrough as a reason. Who knows, that's how it appeared to me.
She built it up and got him really invested in what she was about to say and then let it all loose to maximum effect to watch him react. Probably the most passionate moment they ever had together.
tybyday 6y ago
We’re all actors. I imagine she rehearsed that moment for years in her head. I’ll bet she poured everything she had into that moment of crushing his soul.
viyacondios 6y ago
Little voice recorders shaped like a USB stick are $20 on Amazon. I wonder if in certain situations this kind of info could change a divorce settlement.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Women have unlimited excuses to blame the man in court. And majority of judges are blue pill as fuck. Check out r-pussypass
UrsusG 6y ago
The repercussion could have been the husband going on a social media smear campaign.
But you could be right. Maybe the kick was worth the risk in her mind.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
I doubt that; she probably had him pegged as a high level faggot who would collapse...which is what happened.
MusicSports 6y ago
A girl at my college fucked half the male student body on campus then made a post on Instagram about how the people who "made up stories about her being a slut" are awful people. It got tons of female support. A man trying to smear a girl on social media might be even more impossible than doing it in person. He'd just get buried in pussy beam copyright Patrice O'Neal.
askmrcia 6y ago
I believe something like this happens on every college campus.
I've seen tons of women on campus that was known to sleep around make those stupid IG posts.
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
UrsusG 6y ago
True. But nothing in the story suggests she needed to keep him out.
jomadic 6y ago
He's at the table hoping she wants to get back together....
[deleted] 6y ago
[deleted]
UrsusG 6y ago
OP mentioned 18 years of marriage, the kids are probably adults now, or almost.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
You underestimate people, friend, because a conscience is a heavy burden to carry, even for a dial-a-hoe.
UrsusG 6y ago
For you, probably. Because you're most likely a young man, and you've been taught that your value rests in part in how honorable and truthful you are, and that "a man is as good as his word".
Those things don't apply to women.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
It has been a long time since anyone called me a young man :)
Professionally and personally I have seen people unburden themselves of some pretty dire confessions of their past behaviours.
I cannot categorically say that all women are x,y and z. As I cannot say that for men, either. There are tendencies; most certainly.
I will say this, and maybe it's generational, I do feel for guys in their 20's. It's savage out there. I recently talked to a 24 year old woman, and all the CC hallmarks etc. it was just textbook TRP. Silently I thought to myself; "Thank god, this is not my life!"
UrsusG 6y ago
I have yet to meet a woman past her twenties who would feel guilty about anything involving her sex life.
Young girls, yes, they might still sometimes feel traces of shame, because their childhood conditioning is still working.
But anything over 25 is just pure hamstering and straight up lies.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
Can’t and won’t disagree with you there. I’ve spent most of my adult life so far focusing on work. That being said, I was a White Knight when it came to relationships. And for a while, because I could afford it, high class hookers. Essentially though, I was a Nice Guy Beta. Am I anymore? I sure as hell hope not!
UrsusG 6y ago
That sounds very much like my own life experience.
Hookers are probably the only honest women you'll ever meet in your life.
Also, getting to know them will educate you about women the way 'regular' relationships never will.
rockstarsheep 6y ago
I agree you with there. You know what you're getting in to and so do they.
I would say that perhaps 50% of the ones that I saw were highly educated. Doctors, Engineers, Lawyers. I found it rather baffling. There was always that polite distance, however you could pretty much well ask them anything you liked.
Funny little anecdote, is that I after a long hiatus, decided to reward myself with a little fun earlier this year. I did my homework, or so I thought I did, and what seemed to be a good pick, arrived at my apartment. She was studying for a Masters and was having some issues with her boyfriend. I made the mistake of having had two tumblers of single malt, so was a little more pliable with regular chit chat. So, I listened for about half an hour, more out amusement, because in her "regular" life, she was a Class A Hamster. Eventually I reminded her of what we were there for, and things went off swimmingly.
Interestingly enough, as I creep towards my mid-40's, I have encountered younger women who take a shine to me, more so that those who've hit or are being dragged over The Wall. I think I sort of adopt a hybrid MGTOW-TRP approach towards women; I love beautiful women, their bodies and sexuality, but I certainly don't like their minds. I've developed my IDGAF attitude, I'm more productive and I have a good time. Getting healthier has also improved my outlook on life.
UrsusG 6y ago
That sums up my attitude as well.
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Zenitco 6y ago
The same reason why some people do confession; to absolve themselves of guilt.
UrsusG 6y ago
Women are never guilty of anything, it's always the man's fault, either directly or indirectly ("you made me do this").
Guilt and responsibility are things women just don't do.
mishasam89 6y ago
i think you mean guilt and accountability" not responsibility.
Because they can be responsible towards their children by stringing along a BB who feeds them. That is responsible. However, they will never feel accountable for doing such a shitty thing..
blindface 6y ago
You are aware that women are still human, right? I'm not sure you've passed the anger phase, my friend.
UrsusG 6y ago
I am well aware and long past any anger, trust me.
They really think that way.
Maybe it's you who hasn't experienced them sufficiently.
Zenitco 6y ago
What? I know a lot of women who become religious later in life then try to absolve themselves of their past sins. From the story, it appears the woman is in her 40s or 50s. You see this a lot with pornographic "actresses" when they get older and out of the business too.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Because their SMV has expired. Cmon man...
Zenitco 6y ago
No shit. I don't think what I'm talking about has been touched upon in depth. As a woman gets older, she becomes more aware of her own mortality. They attempt to absolve themselves of guilt because they have to. It's essentially "alpha fucks, beta bux" but spiritually. "Soft" religion in degenerate society allows this.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Bro my mom is 60 something and getting towards the end of her life. You know how she's acting now? She's going full AWALT.
Women don't need to absolve themselves of shit because there's nothing to absolve. They live opportunistically. They don't magically get more spiritual as they get older they just lose options so they have to play the game more. Some of that might seem like it's rubbing off on them but that's just naive. AWALT is a way of life, not just a period of time.
Zenitco 6y ago
That's your mom, bro. I'm speaking in general. Religion offers the easy way out, just like the beta does when he marries the woman after she rode the cock carousel. Not everyone dabbles into that sort of thing or ponder much about what happens after one dies.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
You don't believe in AWALT
Zenitco 6y ago
I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say.
Mr-Ed209 6y ago
This guy is weak. He's beyond hope. I feel for him but his behavior is beta extreme.
There's a bit Patrice says on one of the O&A bits where he roasts Opie saying something like 'every man has to at least juggle (several plates) at some point in his life'
Its a good point because it teaches you a lot about women and never to put up with BS behaviors like them withholding sex etc. This guy chose to be in a dead relationship for years because he had no better judgement. No guy friends to tell him 'bro gtf out'. It's sad yes and it's gotta suck to have a RP bomb dropped so late but fuck me if this guy didn't need a wake up to reality.
anon2777 6y ago
if i honestly raised someone elses kids for 20 years then found out i was getting cucked the whole time i might honestly kill myself tbh.
rporion 6y ago
Frankly, it is not me I would kill.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Use that feeling to just let go of everything you thought mattered. Wanting to kill yourself is a result of trying to hold onto your old reality while facing this new one.
You're those kids dad by 20 years old. You lost out biologically but you put the time in and had the father experience and made that connection.
You don't have a chronic disease, you haven't been arrested and jailed falsely. You're finally free of everything you thought was important aka the blue pill.
I'd go to Thailand and just fucking wander around and stop giving all fucks about anything.
Dystaxia 6y ago
Honestly, the relationship with the wife was garbage the entire time but the bond with the kids would still be the same. I wouldn't want to completely check out because there is so much more there regarding the children that can't be erased by the revelation.
Then again, they are also 20 at this point so not dependent. Thailand wouldn't be so bad.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
He could also turn the kids against the wife in some amount if the kids really respected him as a dad. That would be satisfying and worthwhile.
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Na. That gives her too much power. I might want to kill myself but stay alive strictly so she doesn't know she had that much influence over me.
In my reading of the female psyche, she would have a layer of guilt about contributing to a suicide, but I think on a moral primal level she would think of me as a loser.
I might grab her hair and spit in her face tho. Not as a sexual thing but to let her know how subhuman and scum she is.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Jesus bro if you're going to kill yourself it doesn't matter what she thinks. You're dead. Why the fuck would you care what anybody thought?
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
Never let her win would be the mentality. If you suicide you're essentially letting her kill you.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
It doesn't matter. You're dead. It means absolutely nothing anymore.
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
I get it man, technically you're right. But I would use the situation as fuel to my will to live.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
That's good. So we're not even talking about suicide then.
The point of my original comment was, if you think it's all worthless and you don't have that fire anymore, just let go and go enjoy yourself instead of killing yourself. Go max out a bunch of credit cards and live a little before killing yourself.
Low_Cost_Chimp_Meat 6y ago
Yes, suicide is ALWAYS on the table for a man. It is the ULTIMATE red pill decision in my opinion....you're considering your own self above ANY other.
LiteSoul 6y ago
Alpha Fucks / Beta Bucks dynamic, one of the most clear examples
UndergroundCEO 6y ago
When someone makes a 28 paragraph post with no TL;DR
Redsqa 6y ago
'Funniest comment' :
Notice the sentence in bold. This guy knows. Inside, he knows he's betabux, perhaps a cuck. That's why he feels so sick.
quityourbullshit777 6y ago
Well he is on the Deadbedrooms subreddit. I mean if his bedroom is dead it probably isn't she has just moved the sex to her alpha(s) bedroom.
FranckShmibery 6y ago
“A woman who is sexually unsatisfied is almost guaranteed to cheat, always.” -Daniel Rose, Sex God Method
Zerophobe 6y ago
OK so the woman visits you once a week for a hot fuck like a whore then goes back to her husband kids and family....
Is that ideal? Lol. You don't really have that woman do you?
FranckShmibery 6y ago
She visits you because she is sexually unsatisfied from her husband. It is in the context of an LTR (given she has been vetted, little to no sexual experience before you, etc.) that being a sex god will sexually satisfy her and thus not cheat on you.
[deleted] 6y ago
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MisterMarbles1988 6y ago
He didn't say that rocking her world would PREVENT her from cheating.
He said that leaving her unfulfilled will GURANTEE her cheating.
FranckShmibery 6y ago
sex god dick> any dick. Natural law. Good dick to a girl is like heroin to a junkie. It’s why you always see junkies being in and out of rehab for all their lives, or cheating whores always cheating, as in OP’s case. Sex god dick>any dick.
samenrofringslikeLBJ 6y ago
That effect is real yes, but she "cheated" on the guy who was dicking her too in a sense. You can keep bitches coming back for sex, but she will get the money+security etc from someone if you dont provide it. And even if you provide it she will jump on the guy with more of any 1 particular ingredient. I personally don't plate women who have other men in their life, that's a hard next for me so I guess I'm biased.
FranckShmibery 6y ago
I agree. I see where you’re coming from. If a girl isn’t satisfied in any area, she will certainly find it somewhere else. I don’t date dependent girls tho, or outright whores, so I’m also biased. We are RP men, after all. We have standards.
thirdincomestream 6y ago
It's something you don't really think about when you're new to the whole trp thing (because you lack awareness outside of yourself until your eyes are forced open), but...
Women like sex. They just might not like it with you. OP nails it. Sex hasn't ended, but has rather been transfered.
The good news is, there tend to be lots of mistakes made before getting to this point. Properly vetting, setting a frame and holding it, and finally, walking away if necessary, can ensure that your risk is minimized.
You can only control your behavior. Do your best and walk away from bad deals when you see them. That's the ultimate power, and also the only real power you have as a man.
LeftHello 6y ago
There was some study posted on reddit a while back that shed some light on the whole "it's just sex" thing.
Apparently when it comes to cheating, women are (relatively) more concerned with "emotional" infidelity, while men are more concerned with physical infidelity.
So in a woman's mind, it may be easier to justify cheating by thinking "oh well it's not like I love this guy, we just had sex", and assume their boyfriend/husband thinks the same way. Without realizing it's just the opposite.
Edit: Think I found it - https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10508-014-0409-9#page-1
NikolaGeorgiev 6y ago
That's simply because women can't love (like men love).
rebelde_sin_causa 6y ago
I'm at a loss for how emotional infidelity is defined.
A person will always have people other than one's partner with whom one is close.
jomadic 6y ago
You also have to understand that women want to be the center of attention at all times, especially with men. Her man giving another woman intimacy, love and gifts (resources) is a huge blow to her self esteem ego just like if another man fucked your wife
LeftHello 6y ago
Pretty sure it just means having romantic "love" or feelings for another woman, as opposed to pure attraction. It could be combined with sexual infidelity.
The evolutionary reason being that for women, if the man started loving another woman, it jeopardized her future survival, because the risk is he would no longer provide for her. But if he just fucked another woman once, yea it sucks, but at least he'll keep providing.
For men, if she fucks another man, the risk is he would have to then provide for a non biological child. So sexual infidelity is worse, from a male perspective.
Jigsus 6y ago
https://youtu.be/4jPEGaBs4cw
House MD had the perfect segment about this.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
Yeah this is often discussed here.
Women care about emotional fidelity. Men care about sexual fidelity. Because each has the other resource in scarcity.
SinisterMJ 6y ago
From a biological point of view, I understand the sexual fidelity (your woman can be pregnant only once at a time, if its not yours... fuck that). What do you mean with emotional fidelity, why has a woman scarcity in that? Or rather, what is that even? Sucking away of ressources?
Overkillengine 6y ago
Male emotional attention is conflated with the access to their status and resources.
If a male does not care about someone, they are unlikely to devote much if any time/effort/resources to them.
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Docbear64 6y ago
The idea is that the emotional infidelity could lead to possible supply of resources and support for a woman . It's why in movies the question " Do you love her!?" met with silence is such a deep and disturbing inquiry. It's about creating a situation of support and comfort with the other woman versus getting fucked which for many women is like scratching an itch .
The person who scratches that itch doesn't have to want to support them that's not why they keep him around. Meanwhile the guys who said "til death do us part" he gets all the other awesome non-intimate parts of the relationship.
BonelessSkinless 6y ago
That's so retarded though. Women should be able to "scratch that itch" with one guy only. And then they wonder why we're disgusted when they fuck other guys and then hate them.
Redacto 6y ago
From a evolutionary perspective, it benefits the woman to cuckold her husband a little. If you can have two male bloodlines raised in your family, it basically gives you a genetic “backup plan.” So, it’s a very specific itch, that can only be scratched from outside the family.
killking72 6y ago
and then hate them.Not sure anyone who's been here for a while actually hates women. We mostly just feel sorry for them.
newgrounds 6y ago
My skin crawled reading this. I feel sick.
Trpogre 6y ago
Dude. You are fucking youself.
Never. EVER fucking sign marriage papers.
And what the fuck are you doing raising another mans kids and fucking a whore of a mother?
And finally... keep your feelz to yourself with your new gf. Don't be a fucking pussy. Jesus christ man.
quityourbullshit777 6y ago
This isn't me.
The title states " This is the most Horrific Dead Bedrooms story, I read it a month ago, amazed it hasn't been posted here."
It's not me, the OP posted this a week after a previous post on deadbedrooms.
[deleted] 6y ago
The part with the gf can't be real, why would he tell her that? And why would she tell him shes fucking strangers after that?
drqxx 6y ago
Beta Bucks / Alpha Fucks.
Bwhahahaha good for him. Let this be a lesson my fellow wolves.
Take what is yours and share the rest. The hungriest be wolf always eats.