Sometimes a very simple observation can make all the difference.
It wasn't complicated for some dude to observe that gym embarrassment is stupid, because no one is watching you, but that post rocketed up because it's true, and it's important.
So important that we need to talk more about it.
Many of you, many of everyone, are being held back from doing what you want to do by fear of what other people will think.
Hammer this through your tiny brains:
- If you do something that might invite ridicule or hatred, probably no one is watching.
- If they are watching, they probably don't care.
- If they do care, they probably won't say or do anything.
- If they do say or do something, it probably won't stick if you don't act ashamed or apologetic.
- If it does stick, it will only stick until the next shiny object distracts them.
Humans are fantastically unobservant, and fantastically uncaring, because everyone is absorbed in their own lives. The universe is a flood of information, 99.999999999999999999999...% of it is irrelevant to us, and our brains must filter it ruthlessly for us to function at all. Every stupid thing you do, every time you fail, everyone moment that you remember and cringe... no one else remembers it. They just don't care enough.
Don't believe me? Think of a friend, fellow student, or co-worker who you see almost every day. What colour shirt was he wearing yesterday?
Yeah, you have no idea.
Still don't believe me? Go to work or school with your shirt on inside-out, with the seams showing. Watch how long it is before someone notices, if anyone ever does. If someone does point it out, look down, shrug, and go "Meh. Oops.", and go right back to what you were doing. Note how fast business as usual resumes.
No one cares if you screw up, not unless you have enemies who are waiting for you to screw up (and you're not Donald Trump or /u/redpillschool, so you don't).
Get this through your head: Publicity is hard. It is almost impossible to get people to care, even when you are putting forth your best efforts to publicize and make them care. The constant scrutiny you are afraid of doesn't exist.
Go do what you were afraid to do.
NormalAndy 6y ago
No stranger than just a few people controlling nearly all the wealth of the world by birthright. Society is all the poorer for it :-(
SomberRook 6y ago
Have to refute the study on people being unobservant. According to section 1.2 of the article one of the studies particularly the umbrella girl test was faulty do to a lack of constraint over controlled variables.
All the studies really prove is that people have a remarkable short attention span and have mediocre processing and perceptive abilities as a result.
People shouldn't necessarily do what they're afraid to do. It's fine to fear jumping out of moving vehicles or standing atop windy skyscrappers without guard-rails. Fear is an innate biological preservation instinct that has kept ancestoral humans from getting mauled by bears in the wilderness. Temperate fear is a survival mechanism.
What people should do is get over their inflated sense of self importance that inhibits their willingness to do things that may make them happy or more functional as a human being. Just as no one cares what their co-workers wear no one cares about the egos, self-conscientiousness, and insecurities of other people. Instead of "doing what they're afraid of" potentially to their detriment they should focus on getting over their useless insecurities. Much better advice.
metallicdrama 6y ago
This is the blind sociopaths operate behind from with total ease. Master it.
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FieldLine 6y ago
For me, this realization was freeing.
When you cold approach a girl in class or whatever and it's quiet in the room so others can hear, no one is judging you. They genuinely don't give a shit. Even if you say the most cringeworthy thing in the world, everyone is so wrapped up in their own world that they don't even notice you.
When you start attending a Muay Thai class, and your hips are so shitty that you can't even get your leg above your waist when you kick, everyone is so busy worrying about whether they look dumb that they don't even see you falling on your ass again and again.
When you do an open mic at a comedy club for the first time, and your set sucks, because it probably will, everyone is so concerned about their set that your shit won't even register in their minds.
I mean, when you see a guy approach a hot girl in a bar and get shot down, you could hardly care. What makes you think you're special enough that others pay attention to you?
Ask yourself this: how many weirdos have you seen on public transportation with a finger up their nose, guys with armpit stains, women mumbling to themselves -- we've all seen them. Can you remember the last time, specifically, you saw someone like that? Can you remember their face? I sure can't, and I take public transit every day.
Do yourself a favor and read the OP a hundred times, a thousand times, till you get it through your head.
empatheticapathetic 6y ago
I remember some particularly bad stand up sets man. Not that I'll ever meet the performers again. But I'm never gonna forget that awful shit.
[deleted] 6y ago
I think that's kind of a bad example since you're literally on stage with everyone looking at you.
plainposter 6y ago
still, no one's noticing you bro lol
Enigma221 6y ago
Oh god cringe goes back to introvertedness
driticool 6y ago
I really wonder where do you live. Like, if I went to a girl in my class, which usually sits with group of other girls and said something like "Wubba lubba dub dub!". I bet they would fucking remember this. The whole group would stare at me, confused, grossed. Think I am weird etc. And this memory would stick to them for A WHILE. Maybe they would tell other people? Maybe even surrounding tables would hear/see me?
So, this seems pretty unbelievable.
Fulp_Piction 6y ago
Yep, and if you're so invested in the result of that interaction that you carry it with you afterwards then you're fucked.
Go read the u/metalhead post about approaching the girl in the gym. He got "shot down", but he didn't give a fuck, he was less invested in her than she was in him, leads to attraction. It's a cornerstone of anyone's game, it's the first lesson in 'Models', it's literally what outcome independence means.
On a human level you, as a man, respect people for doing man things, you pedestalize great men as examples to look up to and learn from so that you can become great too, so what they say and do has meaning and actually matters. I'm gonna make a judgement here and say that the group of girls in your class do lots of girl stuff, they chat shit, take selfies & look pretty. Not something particularly masculine, but not something inherently bad either. It's feminine, it's the kind of things girls respect and look up to.
If you're invested in what those girls think of you, you pedestalize them. You start to place value and meaning in the way they live their lives, as if the things they think are important actually matter to you, as a man. As if you're going to learn and adopt their ways. Sounds like textbook beta behaviour to me.
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driticool 6y ago
I would never call myself an alpha, that(s why I'm here, reading all these posts and asking stupid questions.
Thanks, your comment made me think about it once again. Fucking true.
[deleted] 6y ago
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plainposter 6y ago
that's the worst thing ive heard but so funny
FieldLine 6y ago
Suppose some girl went over to you and did that. How would you react?
If she's hot, like you are if you lift, you would overlook it. Probably talk to her, ask her what her deal is.
But let's take this to an extreme. Let's say she's got a big nose, one eye is higher than the other, and she has a mustache. Also, she needs a bath. You'd probably ignore her. Avoid eye contact. Maybe catch the eye of the person next to you, like Is she for real?
And then.... you'd go back to dicking around on your cell phone. Maybe if you lead a super boring life with nothing ever happening to you, you'd tell your roommates about some weirdo who approached you in class. But you probably wouldn't recognize her if you saw her outside the context of the classroom two hours later, with a shave, shower and her hair covering her fucked up eye.
This said, you probably don't look like a schlump. You probably can think of something more intelligent to say than "Wubba lubba dub dub!" (although your opener really doesn't matter, and in the right context that could work). You also realize that women get hit on literally all day long. So you saying something stupid to her isn't even going to be a blip on her radar.
In summary:
Probably. So what?
Hitting on girls by saying outrageous shit is even more fun when you have an audience.
Stop flattering yourself.
ftdrain 6y ago
This is so fucking distant from reality that it should have it's own "BP example" flair. Truth is: yea people are gonna notice you're a little shit, but what you should do isn't deny their acknowledgment, just dont give a shit about It instead.
plainposter 6y ago
yeah. there are literally more than 7 BILLION people on this planet.. that's a shit load of people.. you can get away with basically whatever you want.. that's 7,000,000,000 HUMANS.. all doing unique things every day... you can do anything.. no one else is gonna be thinking about it.. and you'll get away with it.. 24/7
juliusstreicher 6y ago
They wouldn't tell too many other people. Unless they are ugly. If they are hot, they would repeat it maybe once, in one venue. Otherwise, they would just go on with their exciting, sex-filled lives. Even if they remembered it a week later, which they wouldn't, they wouldn't bother to repeat it, because, you know, they have lives. Sex-filled.
[deleted] 6y ago
This is such bullshit you are spouting just to feel good about yourself. This whole thread is one big self assuring bullshit with little base in reality. People do notice shit you do. Isn't that part of why red pill is successful? Because people notice and remember the cool shit you do, what makes you think they'll all of a sudden not notice and/or remember the uncool shit too? Hamstering is all I'm seeing on here.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
I think that you are so desperate for validation and a presence among cool people, that you fantasize that you are being noticed by them, and that they recognize you as a real entity.
Mithra9009 6y ago
Unless who is ugly, exactly? The guy saying wubba lubba or the people hearing it?
juliusstreicher 6y ago
Let's go with those hearing it.
phoenixtoast 6y ago
I kind of have to disagree with this. It's taking a good point too far.
True, no one remembers what shirt you were wearing last Wednesday. But they DO remember if you're well-dressed or not.
True, no one remembers you had the tuna salad sandwich for lunch. But they DO remember if you're the guy who eats alone or is surrounded by friends.
No one remembers exactly what car you drive. But they do remember whether is a slick new model or a trashy 90's POS.
See my point. People in general and especially women are very good at telling if your on the upswing, stagnant, or downward spiralling at any given time. And the way they tell this is by adding up all the little details that are on display any time you are in public, and also nowadays, post (or not post) on social media.
So while it's true an individual data point doesn't mean all that much on it's own, put them all together and people can form a very good opinion about you very quickly.
I_munch_butts_AMA 6y ago
People always retort with this, and you're completely missing the point.
It's not supposed to be, "nobody cares what you do, so be a slob and don't accomplish anything", it's supposed to give the sense of "nobody cares what you do, so do what you WANT to do. Don't do anything because you think that's what people want."
That seems counter intuitive, as essentially the whole sub is self improvement so that you can have more friends, get bitches, ect., but once you start doing things for you because you want to, you realize that nobody really cares if you fuck up or do some dumb shit along the way, as long as you believe in it. Something that you perceive as not interesting to other people or think will be embarrassing will come off exactly that way. If you don't believe in what you say and what you do, nobody else will, either.
People remember the guy sitting alone vs the guy sitting with friends at lunch. Right, so the guy sitting alone. Why is he sitting alone? Does he want to be sitting alone? Probably not. Why doesn't he go sit with some people? He's scared he's gonna embarrass himself or they will think he's weird for coming and sitting with them. Boom, problem solved. If that person just did what he wanted, he wouldn't be sitting alone in the first place.
phoenixtoast 6y ago
Stupid response to a stupid post to begin with. I've had many, many people come up to me and are shocked to find out that I don't remember them. They talked to me for a minute or two a year ago. They remember, I don't. That's why I responded so viscerally to your post. It just isn't true. By the way, the guy sitting alone at lunch is alone because he was too creepy or weird to begin with to be sitting with others. All the others sitting with friends, it's not because they lacked the gumption to do so. It's because they were somehow barely deemed good enough and are now terrified to risk doing anything different. They've accepted their minuscule lot in life.
I am a firm believer that this sub should reflect reality, not whatever your flavor of the day vision of reality is.
I_munch_butts_AMA 6y ago
Presumably, yes, the people sitting with each other are doing so because they are social people and know each other because of it. The guy sitting alone is weird, more likely than not, because he's constantly trying to not have anyone think he's weird or offend anyone. Ironically, that's what makes him weird. People constantly in pursuit of honing down their image and how they are perceived by others tend to be very awkward, as they are always trying to say the right things, instead of just being natural.
Ultimately, the point is not whether or not people remember you. If you are making enough of an impact in one minute that so many people remember you for a year, then you are leaving a pretty significant impression. The point is, you're going to leave an impression on everyone. Every person who sees you every day has some sort of thought or impression of you. You can choose to leave a impression of who you really are, what interests you, how you act and behave as an individual, and your true personality (flaws and all), or you can choose to be bitter at those chads for being 'just good enough' to have a social circle (lol), assume the world is always judging you, and remain friendless and loveless for the rest of eternity.
That may be your reality, and I truly do feel sorry for you if it is. For people who truly do not care how people see them, and aren't hung up on whether or not they will be judged or not, that is far from reality. That is the reality of the creepy guy sitting alone who thinks that, because people have friends to sit and eat with, they must be sheeple of the social constructs of today's society. Certainly has nothing to do with them genuinely enjoying each other's company and having a good time socializing and eating with one another. Sure beats being the creepy guy eating alone.
It's your choice. You can be nice to people, make friends, have interesting conversations, and meet new people with different insights and views on the world. Alternatively, you can continue to wallow in your self pity and anger at everyone else for being socially capable. I don't know if you think you're too smart or 'woke' to just interact with people on a normal level, but for the most part, nobody has ulterior motives. People just like having friends. Having friends who have friends tends to lead to more friends. They're not trying to game the system, at least, consciously. People who have friends tend to be social, friendly, funny, and outgoing people. These types of people tend to get along with other people better, because of their personalities first and foremost, and then they also have a whole heap of benefits to come along with that, because they have good personalities in the first place.
I'm not too sure why I bothered writing this up. A lot of your reply doesn't even make sense.
I guess I just feel bad. Your place is not a fun one to be at. Nobody wants to be sitting alone. I hope you take some of this and use it, seems like it could help you. Really no point of being on a self help sub if you don't want to help yourself.
[deleted] 6y ago
The moment you start caring/worrying about what other people are thinking of you, you no longer live your own life. You enter the other person's perception of reality.
plainposter 6y ago
yep. don't go into anyone else's world, and they won't go into yours. and if anyone does try to enter your world, it's because you've built up so much value that they insist upon it. which is when you manipulate them into doing what you want them to do. they wanted to be in your world, after all..
PeggedByOwlette 6y ago
That's a truth bomb right there!
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Sir-Pumpalot 6y ago
good news, neither about you. besides that solid post even tho it should be normal thinking, the more time I spend here, the more I get the feeling that most guys here or in general in my age (25-35), never have been raised well, maybe it is because Im not american and its just the american way of life, but here are so many things that should be "normal" yet get the most upvotes. Im not judging anyone, what i'm sayin is, that it is an evidence for incapacity, so many jung fellas never have been raised well and the younger generation is even weaker.
For instance your post: solid - but normal. My father taught me "as a human (not man, not woman but human) you never should feel embarassed if you fail or do something stupid, because most people wont realize it anyways and if they do, who cares" and if I ask why? (when I was around 8) the answer was really simple: "because we are human, not animals, we know what we do" so as long as you think before you do stupid shit, you should never be embarassed it was YOUR choice to sing that lady gaga song in the subway, not a godly order, but nowadays shit has changed, so many young men are making fools of themself when talking to other people or women, because they have never learned to think before they talk or because they are nervous, which is needles as I'm sure most of those girls shit trough their asshole, not their mouth (prob both)
UrsusG 6y ago
So you think she doesn't remember that date in 1993 or 1994 when I had too much KFC hot wings and first farted uncontrollably in bed and then had to spend the rest of the night on the shitter pretending I'm showering?
Hell, I remember it as if it was yesterday, almost a quarter of a fucking century ago.
LiLBoner 6y ago
Don't take everything black and white. Of course some things will be remembered, and this isn't as much about dates as about public embarssements.
If you fuck up in public, no one will care except maybe those very close to you, who will probably already like you anyway.
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Mojo5375 6y ago
Most people don't think about you because they're too busy thinking about themselves...
[deleted] 6y ago
This post is one big whole hamster that goes against the very essence of red pill. Of course people notice when you do fucking dumb shit in public just like they notice and remember when you do awesome shit. Why are you trying to get swole if you think no one notices or gives a fuck? Why are you driving that nice ride or wearing that super swarve/cool clothing if people are only looking right past you? See how daft that assumption is?
Is this where we are heading on redpill, hamstering away our inadequacies by saying "hurr durr but no one notices". I mean it's one thing to not give a fuck what others think but it's totally another thing to claim they are all blind to what's going on around them. It's a stupid notion.
[deleted] 6y ago
Lots of people watch me at the gym. That's because I'm jacked and good looking.
Funny thing, though. Years ago when I was fat, no one looked at me. No one noticed me when I was embarrassed and self conscious.
This is exactly what we want. People to ignore us when we're ashamed of the way we look and then people to admire us when we've put in the work. This is a major perk for noobs starting a gym regiment.
NoChillPhilll 6y ago
Alot of 'nobody gives a shit about you' lately
CrazyHorseInvincible 6y ago
Your vague aspersions have no power here.
Go back to the shadow that spawned you!
michael_wilkins 6y ago
the title of the thread is very apt in this regard.
Thesmuz 6y ago
Probably a bitter runoff from the banned incel shit hole
mcavvacm 6y ago
What's hateful about this post? How odd.
CrazyHorseInvincible 6y ago
We get lots of weirdos who just report a random post to vent at the mods.
newName543456 6y ago
"Hate speech" is a convenient way to frame anything you disagree with but lack arguments to properly refute.
OvermanInTheMaking99 6y ago
This is all very true, can confirm.
Source - I train neck at the gym
shaggyctes88 6y ago
Lol I just pictured you working with a band on your forehead conected to a pulley machine
OvermanInTheMaking99 6y ago
Bands are for pussies, I put a 20kg plate on my face and rep that shit. Then I roll over, put the plate on the back of my head, and I rep that shit again.
PS - I just got back from training neck and I'm pumped af
zomcom55 6y ago
I mean I'm surprised I completely agree with something on this sub. I usually just go on these types of subs to laugh at the guys who act like other people are the problem for why no one will date them. When in reality it's their own damn faults for having shitty personalities and delusions of what the real world is like which is entirely fixable if they didn't blame others. But seriously, OP is talking the realist shit I have ever heard on the internet.
No one could give a FUCK about you. If they do, they'll think it for two seconds and then get back to whatever the fuck they were doing before. If they aren't blood related (and even then they might not give a fuck,) no one will give a fuck about you unless you give them a reason to give a fuck about you.
[deleted] 6y ago
I still talk to my friends from HS sometimes those "moments" are brought up and we share a good laugh at whoever's expense. We remember.
That's a false equivilency from what was said above. Of course people won't remember what another person wore. They're more likely to remember an embarrassing moment of an individual than an article of clothing they wore.
People don't forget
[deleted] 6y ago
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[deleted] 6y ago
Situational. Completely different subject.
Arabian_Wolf 6y ago
You made your point and that’s good, but you could’ve completed it with the sequence because:
1-more helpful for the masses here.
2-delicious, delicious karma.
nebder 6y ago
You’re mixing close bonded friends with random asshats.
Are you gonna sit on your deathbed saying “I’m glad I didn’t fuck up” or “man that shit didn’t always work out but I’m glad I went for it”? Your life, your call.
[deleted] 6y ago
You're steering away from the point I made.
People don't forget.
enadelb 6y ago
IMO wether people remember or not isn’t the issue, the issue is “do you let fear of people remembering, stop you”
Who gives a fuck if people see you doing something they think is dumb. Right?
[deleted] 6y ago
I agree. It's pointless to care what people might remember. All I'm pointing out is, people don't forget. Something OP tried to say otherwise.
truecrisis 6y ago
People forget.
I don't remember even more than a handful of times my wingman blew out.
And if I do remember, I don't remember any emotion surrounding the event.
What I do remember? I remember the times he directly embarrassed me, or impacted me. Like when he stole my girl once. He probably also directly teased me or disrespected me a handful of times but I can't even remember those.
I do remember him being a shitty wingman however. And the fact that he is too selfish and that I want a new wingman. Why? Because it impacts me. Anything else is noise that I forget.
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[deleted] 6y ago
I recently had a situation where I put the wrong guard on my facial trimmer and shaved an eyebrow completely off. I was mortified. My brain raced with thoughts of what people would say and think.
Funny thing was. NO ONE NOTICED. Not one fucking person.
And luck would have it... the son of a bitch grew back.
This really hammered home the point of this article.
victor_knight 6y ago
Exactly. Get what you need/want out of life and stop giving too many fucks. Nobody really gives a shit what you do anyway (or even if you live or die).
MagicCharles 6y ago
I think the biggest argument against this is the whole "social proof" that is often required by women to consider you a high SMV male.
Although the difference is that women do give a fuck about the way they, and society, perceive their potential mates, but not the way they actually are. The DGAF attitude will be immense added value, but your blunders may be even more damaging than the benefits this attitude confers.
halfback910 6y ago
Yeah, when I realized that nobody cared about me it was liberating.
Nobody believes me when I say nobody cares. The best way I've been able to demonstrate that nobody cares/nobody is watching is by asking the person I'm talking to, "Do you have two coworkers you can think of?"
Almost always they'll say yes. Then I ask "Okay, picture the two coworkers. What did they wear today?"
Rarely will they be able to remember one of the coworkers' outfits. I've never had someone remember both. And it was that day.
[deleted] 6y ago
A thought experiment I've utilized in the past was to visualize that I have died of a terminal illness, that my family has mourned and more or less gotten over it and moved on with their lives, and then suddenly I've come back to life and can continue going on living albeit with zero contact whatever with my family or past friends. They don't know I've returned. The question then becomes, now what? What am I going to do with this 2nd chance at life with none of my prior situational connotations?
EvelynAModifiedDog 6y ago
Thank you for sharing this, brother; it's great.
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[deleted] 6y ago
I've had this same thought but in my version everyone in my family dies except me, lol
bigz000 6y ago
With enough hard work and dedication, anything is possible?
Jailhouseredpilled93 6y ago
What WOULD you do? Im kinda in that situation in that everyone "moved on" when i went to prison at age 18.
LiLZ906 6y ago
Oh wow, if you don't mind me asking, how long has it been since then and how do you live now? Is it possible to reestablish contact?
Jailhouseredpilled93 6y ago
Not really. Without giving too much info my crime was a tragedy on both sides. An officer was critically wounded and two 17 year old boys went to prison; one for 20 years and the other for Life. We were White kids too. When I got out everyone had families or were dead. After two months I violated my probation and went back for two more years. Its been 3 years since my release and for the first year and a half I wandered aimlessly from state to state living on the couches of family members until I wore out my welcome then moved to the next. I had been suffering from PTSD from being institutionalized. I was very lucky to find TRP. My self education while in prison gave me a foundation for my understanding of Red Pill theory. If I never went to prison I would not have had the capacity or desire to understand this shit! I come from an Evangelical background. My whole family vehemently denies Evolution. However, I studied it obsessively while incarcerated, evopsych especially. Currently I have no friends. When I was in prison I was socially dominant but the dynamics are different without women around. Out here I get many IOIs from young women but I don't approach because I dont have a cool world to bring them to i.e. friends/social proof. I live in a Sober House that the State pays for while I study for my PTC exam. Creating a social circle from scratch is something I do not have the skill set for yet. I have no money, no car, and no career established. I'm working on it.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
[deleted] 6y ago
As an attorney, part of my practice is estate planning. Many times people who have accumulated lots of of money (millions upon millions) but otherwise have done nothing remarkable are fixated upon leaving some legacy. The truth is that once you're gone, few will give a shit about you - because few give a shit about you while you are alive.
Dino227 6y ago
Thank you for posting this. I've been focusing on building a legacy for my future kids. You just made me think that they probably won't appreciate it.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
They will definitely appreciate the cash and valuables.
NormalAndy 6y ago
Leave ‘em a few debts- they’ll remember that.
[deleted] 6y ago
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Charmingaxelotl 6y ago
If you worked hard and spent a lot of time on something no one will appreciate it as much as you will.
[deleted] 6y ago
Whether or not your children appreciate it will depend on your relationship with them. If you're an absentee father working on his business all the time, they'll likely just see you as a pay-cheque. If you have a good relationship, they will appreciate it (if you reared them correctly).
By "legacy" I mean people who want to "leave a mark" - like the people who leave $1 million to a university to get a scholarship fund named after them (the students who win the scholarship don't give a shit about who set up the fund), or the mechanic who thinks that the business he built as "John Smith Mechanics, Inc." will give him immortality (in reality when the lease is up the shop will probably close or be sold); or the lawyer who thinks that the firm that bears his name will survive his retirement (it will probably merge with another firm, or the remaining partners will change the name to their own names).
My grandfather farmed about 200 hectares of land - his land. His dream was for his grandchildren to keep the land - but none of us wants to live out in the sticks, we all have big city careers. So the land will be sold and the purchase price will be divvied up. He was a good man; I named my son after him and the money will be put to good use, but no one is going to go and live out his dreams.
This is what I mean - by all means provide for your children, but don't try to trace their path in life, and don't worry about trying to do something to "leave a mark" for people who never met you.
smaillnaill 6y ago
You could have been like they guy in harvest moon and taken over your grandpas old farm!
Dino227 6y ago
Great follow up. Thanks for the insights.
drty_pr 6y ago
They'll be far more likely to remember a guy who was really fun to hang out with than a guy who left his mark.
LiveAFTSOV 6y ago
Being fun is leaving your mark - on people.
[deleted] 6y ago
They will appreciate it, more than you can know. I am a very fortunate man. My parents were both loving, caring people. They mean the world to me. I have kids, they mean the world to me and they treat me the same way. It all depends on your luck with parents, but if you are a warm, present and loving father, then your kids will think the world of you.
[deleted] 6y ago
My grandfather purchased two now-highly-desirable plots of land when he was young and built cabins on them, two estates that I now share with my extended family. I'm not religious but when we pray over meals at these cabins on holiday or whatnot an enormous degree of gratitude is expressed for the foresight that he had and the seemingly infinite memories and experiences we've enjoyed as a result of him leaving us with these fantastic places to get away and enjoy one another's company.
Maybe the lesson/relevance here is that while you moderate your idealism with cynicism, moderate your cynicism with some idealism; that people do leave legacies for their grateful posterity and those familial ties that last decades can be very valuable.
hb8only 6y ago
that make me sad.. not because of you but because my parents weren't so loving.. and I don't have kids now because I have no idea how to be a good parent.. my family line must not continue...
edit: I believe it is FUCKING HUGE difference if two people wanna have kids or if somebody got female pregnant and wife her up...
[deleted] 6y ago
Sucks that you had shitty parents, but why not decide to change that for yourself. Fair enough if you don’t want kids, plenty of guys make that choice. The reality is you don’t beed to have a personal example of how to be a good parent as it is very obvious. Take care of them, spend fun times with them, look out for their interests, be a committed and determined leader. Basically just be a good man to those who are under your care.
Brilad 6y ago
I felt similar to you but then was hit by twins. It’s working out so far I just try to keep them laughing. What I mean is that being a good parent isn’t something I think you can plan out ahead of time. Just be there, include them in what you’re doing and share what you enjoy and you are halfway there. I’m not bothered about my family line either way though!
[deleted] 6y ago
This is all so repulsive to me. How disgusting is humanity eh? Cockroaches the lot them!
Enjoy the decline gents, get yourselves positioned to pick off the scraps and suck this shit dry.
[deleted] 6y ago
This idea is why I bounce between being a "live and let live" atheist and a "militant" atheist.
Religions have been known to hijack this perfectly natural human tendency and use it to turn men against themselves. This is a sub about male sexual strategy, which is where this is worst exploited. Jimmy Carter infamously said, which true and deeply felt shame, that he "Committed adultery in his heart." No, dude, you're a naked ape with a cock and balls "designed" to spread your seed far and wide.
By the way, this is a similar vector that results in Western Islamic extremism. The arc runs from a realization that perhaps we haven't acted perfectly in the Middle East to a deep individual shame to a rectification of that shame with violence.
The realization that no one gives a shit is liberating. The realization that God doesn't give a shit is completely liberating.
[deleted] 6y ago
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[deleted] 6y ago
I'm an atheist at the end of a line of thought, not beginning, which is why I bristle at your comment, although we think similarly. Once you accept the scientific method, claims of the personal, anthropomorphic gods are put in thier places.
Look, the Bible is demonstrably wrong on the second line. True, in the beginning, earth was without form and void. Fine. Then darkness moved on the face of the deep. Um....WTF?
At the end of the day, Darwin was right, talk about what you believe, and not against religion. I typically follow that rule. But this post is exactly why I find religion dangerous.
I_Need_More_Space_ 6y ago
That's called existentialism, and it can function well for some, but be detrimental for others. The risk of existentialism is that the individual themselves can fall into not caring about what they do based on their belief that others (or God or whoever) don't care about them. This is based on the premise that the individual bases their value on what others think. I.E. "Since nobody cares about me, I won't care about me either whether I fail or not."
Note: I don't care about what 85% of the population thinks of me as they are mostly losers. But it is important to find individuals whom you admire, and use them as a standard to hold yourself accountable. You should care what others think when their opinions are validated by their own excellence in a certain field or their excellence in life in general. Its important to have mentors and value their opinions. Its not important to value the opinions of the general population.
I hardly think existentialism is a good ideology. Knowing most people are lazy, existentialism gives people the out of, "None of this matters anyways." So, they often become complacent in their failures. For most of the population, it is not a good tool for becoming a better person or achieving success as most will just use it as cop out to be losers.
Furthermore, existentialism puts you in a position where nihilism can easily move in.
For a more in depth conversation of the pit falls and hindrances of existentialism and nihilism, please see Jordan B. Peterson's Bible Lecture series (13 lectures now) on YouTube. He explains some of the Bible stories in the context of evolutionary psychology, philosophy, and history of humanity. Religion removed, he breaks down the stories in such great detail and gives them much more meaning than what your Sunday gospel preaches. Its a good experience for all including Atheists, Marxists, and existentialists. Of course, the content only has a positive effect if one approaches with an open mind instead of clinging to ideologies. He also goes into the dangers of ideologies and the dangers presented by those who choose to navigate their lives based on ideologies.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm familiar with existentialism, and am a fan of Nietzsche and Camus. In general your comment is solid.....I'm a grown ass man with no questions in this space. I've taken the Absurd challenge, and if I'm studying, it's programming, math, or science.
I_Need_More_Space_ 6y ago
"[You're] a grown ass man with no questions in this space?" Wow. I guess you've figured everything out. Good for you for boxing yourself in and eliminating new ideas and thoughts.
[deleted] 6y ago
Nah man, you got it all wrong. I'm not boxed in at all!
I'm a huge fan of David Attenborough, NGT, etc. I get to stand on the shoulders of giants. One of my favorite popular science books was written by the main textbook author of astrobiology.
It's often pointed out that we are closely related to chimps......what's missed is that we share a good bit of DNA with lettuce. We are part of an incredible, vast web of life going back billions of years. I find it likely that the entire universe is absolutely littered with life, and hope this can be verified before I draw my last breath.
It's perfectly clear to me that the mind is an emergent property of the brain....and the "soul" is nothing other than the mind. Delving deeply into the works of people who do not understand that distinction is simply a waste of my limited time.
But again, please understand.....the view from the heights is amazing and awesome. This is something routinely misunderstood. Many think to utterly reject religion and embrace our own mortality is to necessarily be nihilistic. Nothing is further from the truth. I love my life, I love my family, I love my friends, I love my work, I know it's all biology and it doesn't matter.
The universe is amazing and complicated and beautiful and deadly and a wonder to behold.
Still, it was great to stand in the path of totality with a perfect knowledge of what was happening and not find it to be an omen!
ColdbloodedEdward 6y ago
this is normal, still hard to understand for some. why do you think graffiti exists? 1. balls of steel 2. no one watches you 3. even if they saw you they won't do shit unless its a security guard
SexdictatorLucifer 6y ago
Balls of steel? Foreal? You need to take some more risks man
ColdbloodedEdward 6y ago
yep, i can see clearly in paragraph 12, sentence 27 that i clearly wrote "i tag buildings, watertowers and trains"
what do you do? jump off skyscrapers with no parachute? bang [10]'s on a subway train? tell me more of this non-fiction
back on topic, point of my post was, no one gives a shit EVEN if it's "vandalism" to them
driticool 6y ago
I've always wanted to try this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtDkg3Xwn7U
FinancierGuru 6y ago
I'll the check the book. Think I saw the video before.
Squirmme 6y ago
I have a mantra which I repeat when I am feeling these thoughts: “nobody fucking cares.”
albus_scirocco 6y ago
Why is everything an insult?
Crookedly 6y ago
At first glance, most people find this disheartening. But actually I find it liberating. Knowing nobody cares about you allows you to do whatever the fuck you want and not give a shit.
The simplest messages are the best messages.
clon3man 6y ago
This is true, after highschool. Also, there's no shortage of people who like to run their mouth giving all kids of advice that isn't useful. People DON'T care about your well being, but they DO LOVE giving cookie-cutter advice, because it makes them feel good. These are usually friends and family, and these are fucking dangerous people, because they like parroting over and over again, and steering you towards a path that they feel is valuable for you; unfortunately in 90% of cases their interest is mostly to get their message across and they don't care about the long term consequences. Yes, this includes mom & dad, who have the best intentions, but don't know how to do anything but parrot an idea they learned 10 years ago that they haven't examined properly. There is no greater echo chamber than your immediate and extended family.
Be very careful with advice on how to live your life from close friends and family. Few people really think through the advice to see how well it applies to the situation at hand. The sad truth is, within a month they've forgotten what they told you and will blame you for any failures, including failures they helped create by insisting that you listen to what they have to say.
Always make decisions with careful self deliberation and never let the voices of 1-2 people ring louder than well-reflected thoughts.
TRP_mask 6y ago
This is either completely wrong or I'm in the wrong age group or something.
I'm 17 years old, high school, and I have Aspergers which has given me a reputation in the past and even though I've become way more social I'm still the loser in school. It doesn't really matter because I have red pilled friends outside of school, but it doesn't help either. I'm dating this girl, who happens to be the sister of one of my classmates. I went to a funfair with her and passed a few classmates of mine, who obviously heavily reacted. Now, if they don't give a shit about me, they'd maybe only tease me a little bit, right? Well, wrong. As it goes in high school, everyone knew an hour later I was hanging out with her. Having people yell at you for it is super embarassing, and recently I found out some guys made dumb pictures decorated with hearts mostly. It's so pathetic. Now the only one shutting his mouth about it is her little brother, but everyone else is saying he's 'having conversations with her sister to prevent me from starting something' or they just say it's useless what I'm doing (it's not btw, seriously she invites me over and cuddle, even made out a bit) as I'm ugly and she wouldn't want me anyway.
All this, and I am supposed to believe people don't give a shit about you? That's a tough one. Please prove me wrong.
[deleted] 6y ago
Don't believe it. OP is hamstering so hard. If no one truly cares or notices then what's the point of self improvement or having nice trendy things?
Rodion-Raskolnikov 6y ago
I work in a job where people are waiting for me to slip up. Your advice could get a career man sacked.
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Ganaraska-Rivers 6y ago
Don't worry about what people think about you. They aren't thinking about you. They are too busy worrying about what you think of them.
wendysNO1wcheese 6y ago
That’s quite the music video to pull out of your ass for a post.
juliusstreicher 6y ago
This. I recently started membership in a new gym. Haven't been in X years, and am fat and weak. I'm also 60 years old, so, I thought that I might be stared at as an object of ridicule, contempt or pity.
Young, hot chicks at counter and male orbiters. They barely noticed or gave a fuck about me. Hot chicks are wanting 19 year old dick, young dude didn't even see me, because he doesn't want the hot chicks to think that he even knows what an old man is. If I dropped a 100 lb weight on my head, hot chicks might laugh...and, turn back to the 19 year old to see if she can still suck him off. The young dude might laugh...and go right back to trying to get laid.
They don't care if you drop dead or get your balls caught in the bench...they are too busy trying to get with the gym members of the opposite sex.
Subbs 6y ago
I have to say that while I've always kind of understood this, nothing has ever really driven it home as well as the simple words "Publicity is hard". It's so obvious when you think about it but the fact that making people care is an entire business and often the costliest part of any project really makes you realize that you shouldn't worry about accidentally getting people to care too much.
It's kinda like the people who worry they'll look like Arnold after doing some curls for a couple of weeks.
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[deleted] 6y ago
As a narcissist, i find this post to be heartbreaking. I may just have to do something unique enough to warrant my ego
[deleted] 6y ago
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ThrowFader 6y ago
As a machiavellian, I find this post encouraging. I do not have to micromanage my appearance with as much despair, because people do not really care so much.
PeggedByOwlette 6y ago
Narsisim is like estrogen, to much or to little is a disaster.
[deleted] 6y ago
... The same applies to testosterone
PeggedByOwlette 6y ago
Except that's not true. 500mg a week of testosterone can be run indefinitely if you can keep your lipids, blood pressure, and himocratic in check.
If you let your estrogen get to high or low then you have problems.
Testosterone to low? Ya you have problems. Testosterone to high? Only problems you have are fucking 4 times a day and having a cock so hard you could fuck a hole in a car door.
You get more problems from a lack of testosterone than an super abundance.
Testosterone = dangerous and bad is blue pill nonsense.
Have a look where steroids comes up on this list.
https://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/drugs-alcohol/drug-ranking.htm
With enough testosterone in you you would approach Kate Perry.
If you are over the age of 35 and not at least on trt then you my friend are a chump.
[deleted] 6y ago
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PeggedByOwlette 6y ago
Well the experience is different for everyone. We were only talking about testosterone so I left out the real libido boosters, paviron and tren.
50mg a day of paviron is a massive libido boost and (for me) has zero effect on my bloods.
If you want to fuck a lot, and you are over 30, take steroids.
If you want to fuck a lot, are over 30, take steroids AND you are married. Get ready for a divorce or a really happy wife (assuming she's a sexual person).
Juice ends marriages. But who gives a fuck about that here on this sub!
[deleted] 6y ago
It's even more than that : people wonder what you think about them, not the opposite.
Thotwrecker 6y ago
People do give a shit, but the people who give a shit are generally fucking losers. Case in point - how many guys who really care so much about every slut that cheats, or every feminist who does what feminists do, etc, are really winners in life? The guys who follow every scandal and care so hard about, IDK, Anita Saarkesian being a cunt or mens rights not being taken seriously at UToronto, etc. They're fucking losers, and if you care and give a colossal shit about what some bitch does or some dude does, you're a loser.
TBP? A sub that exists to care about what we do? Losers. People who cared so hard about what incels do on their faggoty little incel bubble subreddit... losers. Incels who care so much about chads that they analyze every Chad's behavior to the point where they are essentially gay for Chads? Losers.
People who care about other people are losers. Take it a step further. Your friends think you are a fag for getting into self improvement and talking to girls, and ditching the afterschool LoL club. If you care about that, you are a loser.
Friend is BP and is getting cucked and is mad at you when you tell him to see the partyslut for what she is? And you get all bent out of shape and keep tracking what he does and trying to repeatedly save him? You're a fucking loser, go live your own life, go show him what a real dick can get up to.
People who care don't matter. It's a cliche, but it's a better cliche than no ones cares. Some people will always care. People will care if you're an older guy with a younger girl, or if you're a fat guy with a fit girl, or a fit guy with a thicc girl, or whatever it is. Remember, we live in a world where bitches take photos of dudes manspreading on public trains and post them to the internet to shame them.
People care. Those who just aren't really... people. They are trash. And if they can make you care, then they have successfully played their role, and now you are trash with them.
ComradeDurdenTRP 6y ago
One of the reasons I've been spending less and less time on TRP. No, hold on. This isn't some jeremiad about how the sub used to be great X many years ago but now it's gone down the drain...
What I'm saying is that TRP should not be the final destination of a man's life. "I was blind but now I see!!! Hence I'm going to dedicate all my time and efforts to exposing these feminists cunts and ridiculing the BP nu-male fags!" Nah, TRP should be a pit stop on your way to the finish life (i.e. personal success). Another useful analogy I've seen here before compares TRP to a toolbox where you pick and chose the things you need redress your current inadequacy.
A large number of this sub's constituency is composed of reformed nice guys, incels — in other words, wide-eyed BP idealists who only saw the best in women. But c'mon, fellas, surely you wanted more out life than just an 'ideal relationships with my soulmate' (barf) before discovering TRP? "I wanna be big and strong like Arnold Schwarzenegger! I wanna travel the world and become an international playboy!" Or hell, even something as simple as "I wanna live life on my own terms and not answer to anyone". Well, now you have this invaluable resource (TRP) that has some (not all, but enough) answers that will help you chart an actionable plan to achieve your goals.
[deleted] 6y ago
Want a tip? Get your money out of the banking system. Fight back against a system that treats you like you are worthless.
I repeat. Get your money OUT of the banking system.
[deleted] 6y ago
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LiveAFTSOV 6y ago
YEAH DUDE
I used to hide my red pill affiliation behind 2nd hand accounts, and everyone was going through the whole "we need to be safe" freak out when glo posted about his secret RP app
Then I realized man, this is who I am, why would I hide who I am.
Look at my face and remember it , nigga.
Well, that's the idea anyways. lol
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[deleted] 6y ago
Does being public limit your ability to start spinning plates, bad mouth your wife, secretly plan divorce?
Rian_Stone 6y ago
The guys who reported having their Spouses find their Reddit history? Only been a handful:
Left his OWS post in the clipboard, wife accidentally pasted into a word doc
Reddreadwolvering had someone call his house, but the theory is it was someone IRL, since he didn't have anything online
a lot of guys leave their reddit account logged in.
CAD rotates his account frequently. TRP mods are always good about reinstating flairs if you wish, just send a note with the old account before deleting.
I was speaking only to external threats to ones security. Internal ones are unique to the person. Badmouthing your wife is usually done by brand new guys at AMRP, for their one victim puke. You know as well as anyone, once they get into the swing of things, they realize bitching about the girl is just deferring their owning of their own shit.
I'm sure the wife would easily find out about divorce plans, if she gave enough of a shit to check on her betabux, and if she checked through non-internet means (I mean, who wouldn't notice a few grand missing to an LLB?)
[deleted] 6y ago
I mostly meant that it seems like you-know-who has some pretty dedicated enemies who want to ruin his life (or at least they pretend to) and it's because of what he writes about his wife from what I understand. I wouldn't want to waste time with them is what I mean.
I've really come around to the "your virtue is a lie" line of thinking and currently plowing it through my life and wondering how being in the public spotlight affects that for you. I can see good and bad things about it. Ultimately I think it enforces mission focus so I was just fishing for your thoughts. It does narrows options, but the path that remains is the strongest IMHO.
[deleted] 6y ago
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[deleted] 6y ago
Yeah, that's a pretty good approach. My wife has full access to my redditing whenever she wants it, but I still say things I genuinely feel and I don't care if she reads it or if it makes her uncomfortable. We can deal with that ourselves. Sometimes it's preworking ideas to better understand them and I appreciate reading others who do similar things. But that's not something my employer has any business meddling with unless I'm putting the company's reputation on the line or putting them at legal risk. And co-workers reading through it and getting uncomfortable is a risk. It's inappropriate to pry into other's lives uninvited, but social media witch hunts don't care.
I think it really depends on your line of work and how much of a personal calling it is. Someone like Rollo probably doesn't really care. Or people with skills that don't require gigantic resources nobody can afford can strike out on their own (programmers, lawyers, physicians, consultants, etc). But if your mission is something esoteric that requires giant enterprises like, say, jet engine design (not my field just making the point) and you actually enjoy doing the actual work, you don't have a lot of options beyond sucking The Man's dick when you get down to it. Unless you want to give up on that line of work. I mean sure, shit happens and engineering divisions are wiped out by stock-market fluctuations or big-wig power games... that's expected and enough risk. But you don't need to hand the competition ammo to weaponize HR. There are only a handful of teams world-wide in my field and it's hard as fuck to get into them in the first place with startup costs that are astronomic and would take years of not doing work. So in some cases it really is better to play ball or stay home. Just not worth it and I don't care to be recognized and keep it need-to-know. Idols in this regard include William Gosset.
TheVegasGambler 6y ago
"No one is watching" sounds like a quote i could live to
cynexyl 6y ago
I was reflecting on that just earlier today.
All I had to do to come up with that conclusion was to go on the roof of the building where I live. Its a busy place.
I could see a lot of people. Inside of each one of their minds there was probably their own problems. Not a single one of them knew me. I have literally 0 impact over their lives. All of my problems which seem so big in my mind are literally nothing. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, it would change nothing for their lives. So many people in the world, we're not special, we're one in the many crossing the street everyday.
SanguinePirate 6y ago
I'd give you a gold if I could. Your reasoning makes me very happy
grimlocksgauntlet 6y ago
Way to be condescending and encouraging at the same time...
BurnoutRS 6y ago
As part of my rehabilitation (car accident, brain and spinal cord injury) I go for long walks on a daily basis. Keeps me moving, great therapy overall even if you arent battling chronic pain.
Walking usually leaves my mind and upper body free to do other things. As silly as it may sound i've come up with a variety of simple drills that have helped me a lot. I make eye contact with passing drivers. If I see someone in their yard I wave and say hello. I live in a very rural area so i rarely see people out close enough to just strike up a conversation. When I started I had to force myaelf to do these things, but theyve started to become natural. I decided to up the intensity. I love singing and dancing but i noticed that when cars would pass by I would tone down the intensity, sometimes even outright stop what im doing for fear of ridicule. Honestly I was a little bitch.
Now I just dance, sometimes I even ramp shit up when I see a car approaching. The first time I allowed myself to just do me without fear of judgement was exhilirating. I crave that feeling now so I keep challenging myself to break out of my shell more and more.
Essentially this: who the fuck cares what someone driving by thinks of the crazy guy having the time of his life dance walking through the country side? Who the fuck cares what some random woman thinks of you? There's even more women than there are cars on the road. Life is short.
I_Need_More_Space_ 6y ago
Fear of rejection can cause many to fail before even starting.
Fear of inconsequential lives can also foster the prevalence of loserdom (Yeah, I just invented a word. Its like wisdom, but the opposite ). Why care when nobody cares and when the vastness of time won't even queef to acknowledge your existence? As stated in a comment before, this creates an easy out for losers to be losers without feeling about about their shitty existence. I truly believe shame is a great motivator, and we need more shame in this western world.
Balance is key. You should only care what others think if they themselves have virtues or knowledge that you yourself wish to attain. Most of the general population's opinions are useless as they are in the class of Sheeople. Pick your mentors, role models, and friends wisely.
newName543456 6y ago
I actually did once, except in blouse.
Nobody else noticed for 3 or so hours before I took it off because it was getting warm anyway.
And I routinely have laughing fits whenever commuting in public transport as something funny comes to my mind. Nobody gives a fuck. GOOD. I get to have my fun and nobody is stopping me.
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tookmyname 6y ago
"The red pill is where incels started and where the now returned."
-Everyone today.
Lackluster2 6y ago
But what about your character and personality and behavior that forms people's perception of you. People talk about people when they are not around and they either say good, bad, or meh things... is that a different topic?
4kvatch 6y ago
I think what OP is saying is true to some extent. Some people get anxiety about going out in public because they are afraid of being judged or watched. For example, someone might feel anxious about going into a restaurant to order and eat alone, but nobody really cares if you do so. It's different, however, when you are spending time around people you see on a daily basis. You have to act a certain way around certain people if you want their respect, like a SO's parents. You also have to be conscious of how you act at work because it influences how your managers and coworkers see you which can be important in most cases.
kkri3 6y ago
Another good way to see how nobody gives a shit about you is to delete all social media, and watch how many people will remember your birthday.
The fact that you are unimportant ironically gives you a lot of freedom. You can try out new things, you can do the stupidest mistakes, and nobody will know or care.