The third anniversary of me saying "fuck it, let's try TRP" has recently passed and I'm going to take the chance to condense all that's happened and I've learned and give it back to the community
Enter me
I wasn't an outcast, permavirgin, or other incel-type. I grew up in a middle class family with a stable marriage, went to decent but not amazing public schools, had some but not overwhemingly many friends growing up, played sports but wasn't a star, and had a string of long-term girlfriends but no wild sex life.
In short, I spent most of my life as your Standard Template Average Dude.
My peculiarity was that I always, for as long as I can remember, wanted to figure out how things worked. Even more than figuring out how to make them work for me. I was the kind of kid that gets a toy car and disassembles it to look at the bits inside, then puts it together and finally actually plays with it.
With women, I've always been the same, which would have worked great if I wasn't also hampered by hammered in notions about how a "proper" boyfriend ought to be: faithful, supportive, non-judgemental, yadda yadda yadda. Basically, women were just about the one thing about which I didn't allow myself to be inquisitive and figure out what the mechanics were.
Enter TRP
Still, in secret, I frequented vile internet forums where men were exchanging tips on how to get pussy. To give you an idea how long I've been reading this stuff, the first discussions I remember were about the soon-to-be-published The Game.
While I was reading that vile, sexist, absolutely forbidden stuff, I kept being in relationships that followed a predictable parable. Let me know if you've heard this one: boy is pretty chaddish, attracts girl, they get together, boy betafies, relationship fizzles out. Rinse and repeat. That was me.
Eventually, 3 years ago I had enough. I was no longer willing to just go through the cycle, no longer interested in another repetition, and had finally been worn down by reality enough to accept that my moral quandries were perhaps bullshit. So, on a whim, I said "fuck it, let's try TRP", which I had been reading for a while by then.
First forays into pussyland
At that point, I was a fresh college grad with a reasonable income, some adult independence, and no fucks left to give. So I tried shit.
I did not just adopt TRP as a faith-given mantra. That wasn't what I was looking for. I allowed myself to experiment with all ideas that striked me as interesting; I kept what worked, and discarded or changed what didn't. Rinse, repeat.
I made mistakes a-plenty. I got into some embarrassing situations, some stupid ones, and some crazy ones. I made a fool of myself, pissed people off, shocked friends, made others in places I never would have thought to go.
Eventually I came out the other way, and awaiting me was the wonderful nation of Pussyland.
What it's like in Pussyland
You know in Fight Club, when the narrator says that after fighting, the world gets the volume turned down? in Pussyland it's like that, except it's the search for pussy that gets the volume turned down.
To put it another way, Chad is not the guy who's worrying about pussy. Pussy comes easily, as part of your lifestyle, and it's honestly just not a big deal. Fuck one, lose one, you realize it literally doesn't matter any more than other fleeting pleasures, ie very little.
The constant, driving horniness and frustration of the Average Frustrated Chump (an old-school PUA term that I think is still very valid) just gets toned down, and you realize how many other things matter far more. In the past, I would have and did hamper other aspects of life to chase pussy; nowadays, I'd drop any given woman without a second's thought if I needed to focus on something else.
Enough with the bullshit: what I learned
Lesson 0: your journey is your journey, and will never be exactly the same as anyone else's. You must take inspiration from the stories you read, but you'll always have to find your way to apply those lessons to your life, circumstances and objectives.
This was a big one for me, because for way too long I stumbled through trying to just imitate the latest approach that caught my fancy. Eventually I learned to take an experimentalist artisan's take on it: use what worked for me the way it worked for me, even if it's different from what I had read other guys doing.
Lesson 1. flirting and sex are natural, and 90% of your job is deprogramming yourself from the bullshit ineffectual behaviors society has imprinted on you.
I was initially under the mistaken impression, reinforced by approaches that focus too much on techniques and tricks, that attracting and bedding women was a chess game in which you had to keep in mind myriad strategies and apply the right ones in sequence. It's exactly the opposite: relaxing, leaning back into the chair and letting your natural instincts take over is by far the most important skill to learn. I'd venture that at most 10%, and probably as little as 5% of game is about learning any kind of consciously applied technique.
The best way I can explain this is the following: think of eating some tasty food. Your mouth, tongue and brain know exactly what to do. You don't have to consciously think about chewing or how your tongue moves. If you did that, eating would be a terribly stressful and unsatisfying experience. It's the exact same thing with flirting and sex.
Lesson 2: it really doesn't take much effort at all to attract far more women than you can manage.
I read this helpful explainer a while ago: you have 7 nights and two days a week, assuming you work a typical day job. That's not much free time at all. If you have friends, hobbies, interests etc, your agenda will fill up fast. How much time do you want to give to women? for me it's not more than two nights a week, unless I can have easy home-delivered sex for after I've done something interesting in one of the other nights, and even then I might very likely prefer getting more rest and sleep to be more productive the next day.
How many women can you keep in that kind of rotation? 3 or 4 is plenty. So let's say you have an abysmal success rate on Tinder and get a viable match every 3 months. That means you'll fill up your roster within a year. That's with an abysmal success rate, mind you. At that point you'll have to stop getting more women because managing the turn rotation of your bitches will become more trouble than is worth (at least in my experience, if you're happy doing that shit then more power to you).
Lesson 3: frame is, by far, the most attractive male characteristic.
There are really only two moments to getting a woman: the first spark of attraction that means she'll talk to you, and everything that follows, which is 100% about you holding frame. Stripped to the bare bones, there really is nothing else.
To get that first spark sure, you need to have something: looking hot helps, as does being the "type" she's currently convinced she likes, or having a witty opener, or whatever. But once you're in, once you're down talking, in one way or another it's all about frame: the quality of your jokes, your ability to vibe, your capacity to pass shit tests are all down to how solid your frame in, ie whether you are secure enough in yourself and your view of reality that you can just sit back, relax and let your natural male energy pour out and invest her.
Beyond all the abstractions and details of analysis, across all my interactions and regardless of with whom and in what circumstances they were, that is the constant I found to be completely determinant: frame and whether I was holding onto it. Nothing more. It effectively doesn't matter how similar or different you are, how your sense of humor is or if you have anything in common: no matter the status of any of these questions, if she sees you holding frame she'll hamster that she's attracted to those characteristics.
To be blunt: I've fucked an endless number of vocally feminist chicks, when I'm anything but. Of those that discovered it, not a single one was any less attracted, and all hamstered a reason for why my sexism was not the problem they would have sworn it'd be with anyone else.
Lesson 4: women are all horny sluts who can't control themselves
This was perhaps the hardest one to accept, because like most men I had always assumed that we are the horny gender who does stupid stuff for sex. Nope, nope, nope.
Women are desperately horny. They are just as horny as teenage boys, with the key difference that they're only horny for alpha dick, the most scarce commodity in the world. When they smell alpha dick, their horniness turns into a terrible unstoppable behemoth and they will make sure to get that alpha dick for themselves.
I can not overstate how desperate the average girl is for a man that is a man, that doesn't behave around her as if she's a capricous porcelain doll, that calls her out on her bullshit and that fully understands that she's just as interested in sex as he is, if not more. Women are used to dealing with betas all the time, and it's exhausting for them; the sheer relief at interacting with an alpha is like a glow you can see on them.
If you give a woman that experience, by the time you're into bed 95% of the job is done. For women (and I'd argue it's actually the case for men too, but that's a discussion for another time), arousal is almost only an emotional process, very little of it stems from the physical realm. If your woman is extremely into you before reaching the bed, she'll enjoy herself almost in spite of what you do. 5% at most of this process is about knowing and employing technical notions about sex; your natural behavior will be much more than enough.
tl;dr (though read it, I've made the effort so you can too:
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take an experimentalist artisan's view: don't bother with following any doctrine, test shit out and keep what works, modified from the form you found it in if necessary
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90% of the job is not about learning techniques, it's about learning to sit back and relax and letting your natural behaviors emerge
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you're 100% vastly overestimating the amount of effort it takes to live an extremely abundant sex life
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frame is by far the most important engine of attraction and will override almost anything once a woman experiences it
- women are desperately horny for alpha dick, even more than most men are horny for pussy in general
UltimateCrypto 6y ago
I don't know how I found this post, but it was exactly what I needed to hear!
Make sure you save this post for your future self to read! Trust me!
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
I have listened to a bit of Patrice's stuff but not sure what you're getting at... Care to elaborate?
Meraxes311 6y ago
This is what I needed right now. Thank you.
Jailhouseredpilled93 6y ago
-woman are desperately horny for alpha dick, even more than most men are horny for pussy in general.
About time we got something side bar worthy! ????
htbf 6y ago
Did anyone ever actually do this ? I never cancel a date and very few things in my life are SO important that I let go of a date. Girls are flaky enough that dates are somewhat precious to me. So unless I have a health issue or some sort of emergency that actually needs my immediate attention, I just never do.
I would EASILY cancel a hangout with a friend for a date though. I just don't get the same value from friends than from a potential romantic partner. Dates are just more fun to me. I have enough time to not have to let go of friends for dates but if a girl I had trouble seeing booking tries to set up a date that would blow up a hangout. I would barely think about it (unless sid hangout is about something super important but then it's not a hangout, it's a business meeting).
Am I the only one like this ?
daymi 6y ago
Yep, in the sense of rescheduling.
My job is more important than a girl.
Also, it depends on whether it's a first coffee/1h beer date. I've had so underwhelming first dates, it can easily be me that flakes for "no" reason. Girls don't really bring lasting value to me either - while my friends do (if I have to listen to yet another girl talking about "when I start a family I'll move back home to the countryside" I'm gonna puke). On the other hand, almost every time we meet, my friends bring value that lasts - for years sometimes.
I think you need to search for better friends.
Tenth_10 6y ago
"your journey is your journey, and will never be exactly the same as anyone else's. " Yep, we began alike with AFCs, Kclose, Style and everything... and then you got pussy and I did not. Bummer.
"you're 100% vastly overestimating the amount of effort it takes to live an extremely abundant sex life" Or 100% not doing what I did, because my sex life is the copy of the Sahara. Still looking for what is wrong in me.
Glad for you for being that successful, thought. Thanks for the feedback.
MrCarepig 6y ago
Alphas being a strange commodity is true, I kinda feel bad for women since they have to deal with so many legions of beta men. Since being red pilled I find guys that are plugged in behave more similarly to women than to men. It's like the mirror image of a guy stuck in a country filled with masculine female landwhales. Imagine a feminine, petite woman comes along im sure you would be delighted.
SmilingWatermelon 6y ago
Agreed. These men, if they are refusing masculine traits as being toxic, there is only one other polarity to adopt.
2gudfou 6y ago
I think it's worth adding that while I agree with your point being that it's something you need to let happen naturally. Others including myself had framework that did not allow us to let it happen naturally. To use your analogy it would be as if you had been chewing food incorrectly your entire life. While chewing is something that comes naturally if someone's brain isn't trained to chew correctly it won't come naturally. Meaning some people have to use techniques actively, not as a long term strategy, but as a way to train their brain to react correctly. I'll give you an example, I'm terrible when it comes to initiating touch with women. I read up on advice that said to start touching everyone not just women I'm interested in for practice. It helps teach my brain when I'm touching too much or too little etc etc. I don't plan to actively keep track of my touching but eventually it will be natural as is anything that you practice enough
Writs_For_Your_Tits 6y ago
I feel you on this one. I was raised to respect a woman's space. Whatever that's supposed to mean, and for a long time a handshake was my comfort zone. But really, I want to touch women don't you? They're quite soft. So when I want to I go for it. I just keep it light and passing. something small enough to only warrant a body language reaction. If she responds by touching back, then you can slowly get more involved with it. If she responds with negative non verbal, then you stop touching and reassess. At least that's been my strategy.
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alberto945 6y ago
Read the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand for a start :)
MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
This is a great post, thanks u/Derek1382.
The key points are spot on: do what works for you, have a hook, no huge effort required after that, get to a point in life where sex/women can be deprioritised in your life (abundance).
The second +1 is well deserved, you have a great and calm way of explaining and working your way through subjects.
boredgod 6y ago
It’s miraculous. Women want alpha dick so bad that they get unrestrainably excited as they see it materializing. TRP guys sometimes say that people want to keep you down. Crabs in a bucket. It’s true - when you’re starting to climb up the sides - but when they can see you don’t give a fuck about any opposition, it’s like they’re just waiting for the bomb to drop. On vaginas. I can’t tell you about all the little invitations every day. I just got caught alone chatting briefly with a woman at work (not gonna fuck her) in one of the office kitchens. I asked “so, what do you do around here?” And she stopped and stared at me and said slowly and seductively “many things. All kinds, all kinds of things. I do all kinds of things.” Just before that I was in another office and I caught the resident office hb10 blatantly checking me out while a few of her male coworkers walked by with a kind of helpless, token recognition of the fact. This was all within 40 minutes. It surges, it dissipates, but because of TRP it’s happening for the first time in my life and it’s fucking out of control.
OP is spitting truth. Women crave alpha dick. They anticipate it. Like a fucking plant they give it water and plant food and move it to keep it in the sun as the beam of light travels across the floor.
This is how the whole world works motherfuckers!
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satendrakumar_tm15 6y ago
By Alpha, you mean attitude?
boredgod 6y ago
Whole package. Frame, status, looks -within your control. I don’t even have all those. I have decent genetics and there’s something messed up inside me so I carry myself as a narcissistic asshole with a heart of gold. I don’t even know what it is. Been lifting for awhile so that’s better. Good style? Lol, like someone else said, it’s not one thing about you. It’s the whole fucked up cocktail.
Nobody knows what it is. Or at least dumb women don’t. They just know when their buttons are getting smashed and they like it. Esoteric as fuck I know
whatsthisgarg 6y ago
that's really beautiful. I have a lot of that.
In some contexts, I have a really aggressive aspect that people find both off-putting and weirdly attractive at the same time. Then later, after they have "proven" themselves to me a bit, I am more friendly, and they are more charmed.
It's push/pull as a lifestyle. Fucking works for me.
FinallyRed 6y ago
When your approval is perceived as hard to attain it is much more validating when people get it.
JR-DC1 6y ago
To me, this is one of the key rules of game.
Add to that the following: by everyone will try to get your approval by this method, but only those who try and eventually get it are worth keeping in your circle.
[deleted] 6y ago
By alpha we mean the top of the dominance hierarchy. Strong both mentally and physically, dont give a fuck about anyone but yourself and your immediate family, eating shit tons of food, lots of resources, well established, high status social network and connections. Does dope shit. Maybe carries a gun. Maybe runs his own gang or company/business. Thatz alpha
ThatOneDrunkUncle 6y ago
Pussy only matters when you're not getting any. Your background is eerily similar to mine and the beginning of your journey is where I'm at now.
Would you say that TRP is the best model of reality and intersexual relations that you've come across? And what would you say is the most common mistake you made frequently in the beginning?
Derek1382 6y ago
It's the best community by a wide margin. Compared to MRA-ish type places, it (generally) lacks the pseudomoralistic concerns (MRAs spend way too much time trying to appropriate the feminist frame of "fairness" and "equality"); compared to other PUA-ish style places, it has more of an emphasis of fundamental concepts and understanding rather than magic pussy codes.
It's not without its defects though, and you definitely need to do your own learning if you want to benefit more than superficially.
By a mile, it was not focusing on enjoying myself. I wanted to "solve" the game, so I was too busy analyzing and strategizing in my head. Part of this is inherent to the learning process, but a much larger part was just due to me coming from the wrong assumption that the point was strategizing and playing a highly cerebral game.
STFUIDGAFUCK 6y ago
Great post. Thanks for sharing. Do you mind to talk about the steps that you took to improve and got out of the comfort zone. To make mistake and learn. What did you do along the way to learn these lessons
[deleted] 6y ago
0 and 3 are the most important and great advice.
I can't agree with #4. Women simply don't have the testosterone levels that men have and are nowhere near as horny as men, much less a teenage boy.
[deleted] 6y ago
From a biological perspective I can explain why women chase alpha dick feverishly.
Men are designed to spread their seed, as long as the woman is somewhat attractive, the man will feel compelled to spread his seed. Why not? He has plenty of seed to give away.
But, women have to carry a child for 9 months and risk death. So they're extremely careful in selecting a mate. But, once they meet a man that meets their criteria ("alpha dick"), they go insane and compete with other females because they want to carry his superior seed.
slickshark 6y ago
Women don't need to have the same testosterone levels to have a high sex drive, and more testosterone doesn't make much difference for them. Their sex drive actually increases based on their emotions. See here.
[deleted] 6y ago
Nothing in that article says what you just said. In fact, the article (and all of the others linked to that page) support what I've been saying.
slickshark 6y ago
Are you serious? This is directly from the article: "What seemed to play a bigger role in a woman's drive for sex is her emotional well-being."
[deleted] 6y ago
It talks about hormone injections for women with a low sex drive. It doesn't talk about it being anywhere near a man's - and it isn't anywhere near a man's.
[deleted] 6y ago
You down-voting incels. How many of us didn't want to be called on in class because standing up with a hardon would be difficult and embarrassing?
aftertheafter-party 6y ago
Many women are as sexually-charged or more so than the average man. Also, physical arousal for women is not visually obvious, so ofc we would not have an issue similar to the notorious outstanding-boner.
[deleted] 6y ago
More "sexually charged"? No, they aren't. And it's because of testosterone levels.
whatsthisgarg 6y ago
This is an issue that causes confusion. Women don't have anywhere near the sex drive that men have. Women can go 3 weeks without thinking about sex once. If a woman is not thinking about sex, you can drop the most obvious double entendre and she won't get it.
But the point is, when a woman IS turned on, that is something else entirely.
Friend told me about trying to get his GF there. Making out for hours, feeling up, almost everything, she wouldn't even get him off. He was basically priapic for 3 weeks. FINALLY conditions are perfect for her, but he had a hard day or something, didn't feel like it. She fucking freaked out. Probably technically raped him. Was not a good time for either party.
So he has to be okay with backing off, not pressuring her, and not getting it when he wants it, but she can demand it when she wants it? That's the way of the world.
[deleted] 6y ago
I'm not going to dispute this. The whole point is getting them there. I don't think that women are raging sluts for alpha dick. They use sex to manipulate, for pleasure, etc. The only reason that I posted is that while I think that most of the advice is very good, men shouldn't approach with the idea that women are are as interested in sex at that moment as the man. We're wired differently. If everyone had the libido of a teenage boy, the streets would be empty.
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AltruisticRaven 6y ago
A lot of TRP language shouldn't be taken all that seriously. The language is extreme because it helps guys change perspective. Softer more PC language doesn't do a great job at firing up the emotion required to change perspective.
I'd say your husband sounds pretty alpha. Being alpha doesn't mean acting superficially confident in a cheesy see-through way, if that's what you thought.
RPmatrix 6y ago
why are you here commenting?
why are you trying to preach to the converted?
remember, the guys here have already Tried all the "other" (aka BluePill) ways when dealing with women and look where it's got them!
last but far from least is your comment
I'm a woman, & I specifically avoid "alpha" men. They're grimy & completely un-self-aware.
Yep, definitely, they'd never be, say like;
Your 'point' lol! Again, why are you here talking to 'strange men' with a 'hubby' like that to keep you amused? Maybe becoz he's a fantasy?
jglover82 6y ago
ripped, super hot, popular, 6 figures.....beta written all over him
scissor_me_timbers00 6y ago
It’s unreal this woman’s reading comprehension. She seems to have conflated the term “alpha” to mean your average Attila the Hun type, excluding the fun and popular guy with a good body who makes a good living. Unbelievable. I almost think it’s a troll.
Her “non alpha husband”:
Yeah, get a grip you guys.
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RPmatrix 6y ago
she wishes she had a hubby! Let alone an 'alpha' one
Why would she be here IF she had that?
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MattyAnon Admin 6y ago
Superbold like this isn't for paragraphs, it is reserved for me to say once again:
Do Not Marry
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Jo2ukegappy 6y ago
Great read. I want more people to see this.
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boo_radley_awesome 6y ago
Thanks for your post. It was very meaningful to me and actually, quite refreshing. However, what makes you say women are hornier than men?
I do believe, at least from a biological perspective, women are not as driven by sexual drive as men are (we have something like 14x the amount of testosterone coursing through our veins).
While I will agree that if she’s hot for ya, she’s really fucking hot for ya and will be YOUR slut (not anyone else’s)... this doesn’t mean she’s got dick on the brain 24/7 like most dudes who break neck every 5 minutes to stare at T&A. Know what I mean?
Thanks again
EDIT: words
Writs_For_Your_Tits 6y ago
It's interesting that you said when you started PUA's were talking about "The Game" coming out. "The Game" was the beginning for me. I remember it was 09-10 ish and I was in the college bookstore browsing the comically small section for personal reading. The golden girls on the spine caught my pervert eye. I had to look around me to make sure no one was looking before I pulled it off the shelf. I started reading it and decided I had to buy it. So I took it to the register shamefully, like a teenager buys a pack of condoms. That book absolutely blew me away. I was more blue than blue when I read it and blue when I finished it, but I was aware. And consciously incompetent, though woefully unaware of how much so. In some ways I was so deep in that book changed nothing for me. But it did change things. It was a tectonic shift. I was the California inching away from the Pangaea of the feminized world view. Eventually though, in an act of "self preservation", I wrote that sort of thing off for a while until some feminazis on Reddit were complaining about TRP. I had to see for myself, and could not escape the value for men that was being created here. It's been a long journey, but just now I'm getting from square zero to square one.
[deleted] 6y ago
Thanks for taking the time to write this up.
I'm cooking a post related to your #4....you might get pushback on the point, and if you do, I'm guessing those people missed your qualifier "alpha".
I love your point about individuality. I can't pull off dark and brooding. I'm engaging and talkative......and pretty well built. It works. I can't be the only guy who pulls off "obviously smart and obviously not a dweeb" vibe even if I do go to board gaming nights (I've thought about bringing dates just to torture the nerds....there's exactly one other bro dude that shows up and he's twice my size, fucking Germans!)
There's a fair bit of nuance to TRP and you obviously get it. "Just be yourself" is advice that is rightly despised around here, yet you're saying just be yourself and you're getting it exactly right, imo. There's a big goddamned difference between just being yourself by eating plates of nachos and playing WOW 4 hours a night, and just being yourself by engaging in behaviors which are recreational (in a true sense) and occasionally letting millions of years of evolutionary horniness run the show.
Solid piece.
whatsthisgarg 6y ago
Guys who don't believe this haven't seen it personally. If they've seen it happen to some other dude, they attribute it to something about the guy, ironically missing the point.
Some of the readers here have no idea that perfectly regular, nice looking, pretty women will do the most depraved shit, for instance, have sex in public places, like ... you know. Some of those women are their mothers. Think about that.
phibetared 6y ago
Yup. I had a high society type woman with a model's body in New York City basically tell me she wanted to be gang raped. She wanted me to almost beat the crap out of her while doing her. That is what excited her the most. Then she's off to the charity fund raiser....
The other night I simply did the patented "pull the girl down the bed by her ankles" move to a girl I've had for a long time and could see her eyes light up like a Christmas tree.
It's that easy...
lifestuff69 6y ago
This.
When I tell my friends some of the shit that I've done with women the only ones that believe me are the ones who have done similar things before. The rest just don't get it, and if they've met the girl they usually say things like "What? Her? No way, she seems so nice and wholesome." Haha yeah... that's what they want you to think.
This is actually a pretty good way to gauge how sexually experienced your friends are.
INNASKILLZ2K18 6y ago
Yeah...the 'just be yourself' warning, is usually in regards to those times in a lot of guy's life, where they are clueless, nerdy, bluepill, have no idea about women, etc etc...and the best advice is 'just be yourself'.
Once you have some experience, knowledge, evolution...'just be yourself' is some of the best advice you can have. After all, who else are we ever going to be?
whatsthisgarg 6y ago
Good post.
I disagree with #3. Frame is very very important, but from the start it is status that is most attractive to women. You can have all the frame in the world, but without status you won't get many chances.
I had to chase tail like a birddog and got dismal results considering the effort. Once I attained status in the scene, they chased me. I was the same guy, looked the same, yes had more confidence/frame, but not much. The difference was status.
I agree completely with #4. Women will do the most depraved shit with men they are really attracted to. Also, a woman who is really turned on WILL NOT BE REJECTED.
[deleted] 6y ago
You can fake status if you hold frame
RPmatrix 6y ago
I'm not sure what you're referring to as "status" but afaic "frame" applies in every aspect of your life, it's continuous and Not "time Or place specific"
I wouldn't call that "status" You're actually talking more of social approval aka in RP terms as 'preselection'.
Once the social group decided "you were ok" ,, that you say "they chased" you. That's SOP pre-selection behaviors that an unrelated to 'frame'
Frame is independent of everything external to you ... you are your Frame
Frame is an "internal" position .. your frame should remain "solid" (integrated) regardless of the social situation you find yourself in.
your Frame should clearly show you already have a high status ... (in your own opinion hehe)
The OP nails it saying;
But once you're in, once you're down talking, in one way or another it's all about frame:
And how you hold Your Frame is your "demonstration of status" in these first moments
Remember, "attraction is non negotiable" ,, it's either there or it aint
BUT keeping her interested all depends on your frame ... that is unless you're after some shallow, superficial gold digger who wants a free ride
on your coat tailsat your expenseCrazyHorseInvincible 6y ago
+1
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
I've been browsing here for 2 years and this is honestly one of the best posts I've ever read. It has left me seriously considering ditching/demoting my girlfriend (usual story, started off alpha, she worshipped me, gradually slipped into betaland, she now resents me and doesn't know why)
SmilingWatermelon 6y ago
You may wish to start using the Patrice style if you want to attempt to salvage the relationship
Friendly_Friends 6y ago
I had to finally pull the plug on something like that too. I started looking at TRP and 3 months later I was like ‘This bitch is walking all over me!’ I felt so liberated afterward.
THESkipp 6y ago
Just do it. Ignore the wasted time thought, if your thinking of that. I was with my Ex for 5 years. Exactly like you, was alpha then went beta slowly. We spilt prior to me finding the red pill, but 2 hours after parting ways (not even talking shit) I felt like I was becoming my self again. I’m thankful for finding the rational male and this sub, it reenforced what I felt deep down.
I’m not going to sit here and say I’m now swimming in pussy. I have not had a fuck since we spilt (2 months ago). I’m a fatty, but dropped just shy of 7kgs whilst buidling my already stocky frame. I’m not interested in fucking fatties or low grade women.
Sorry for the rant, wasn’t meant to be lol. Just cut ties and fix your self. You’ll be happier for it.
mountainbiker178 6y ago
Good for you man. Keep working on yourself.
Mukato 6y ago
That's the hardest part too: you can get women before you've improved your look, but they will be low grade and not satisfying at all.
A good source might be past sexual partners. I've found that they are more apt to want to fuck you based on their memory of their good times with you.
THESkipp 6y ago
I don’t go back to past woman, can understand your point but I like moving forward.
Plus the extra higher sex drive keeps me motivated.
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
I went through something similar 5 years ago and ending it was the best thing I ever did. I'm 10x the man I was back then. Even before finding TRP I've always believed that if either partner is starting to doubt the future of a relationship then it's basically over and you need to get out. Ive had 4 increasingly hot, young girlfriends since then but I still find my judgement clouded by the dreaded oneitis!
THESkipp 6y ago
I can relate to the oneitis, I find it hard to shake that thought but it’s a bad thing to have. Having the abundance mentally is a key. 110% agree with you about doubt, at around the 18-24 month mark it hit me hard. Not her personally but more so if I really want to be tided down. Some men cheat and while I understand that it goes against personal beliefs. Even when having woman practically begging for some dick, I always turned it down.
I try not to harp on what could have been but I do wonder if I was in the position I am in now 3 years ago how much better off I would be. By the same token, thank god I realized now not another 3 years later lol.
Psychocist 6y ago
Absolutely. You really do have to be in the frame that you can let this person go within an instant and you'll be ok -- in fact, you'll be better than you were, because you didn't need them and never will. If you are not in this place, your first priority should be to go deep enough into yourself to get there. In the end it comes down to the acceptance that we are fundamentally alone in a state of impermanence. Everything will end and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
I've found that once that is fully digested you can get on with actually living your fucking life instead of being manipulated by your delusions and the whims of random pieces of ass you meet along the way.
mountainbiker178 6y ago
How do you know she resents you? Why do you think you're beta now?
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
Long story but after a year and a half of her being very compliant and eager to see/fuck me we went travelling for a month together. I did some stupid drunk shit, she started withholding sex and my subsequent attempts at withdrawing attention just came off as butt hurt. That was a month ago and now she has very little time for me and openly admits she's lost the love/respect. Once the damage is done its extremely difficult to undo it. The other day after a bottle of wine she suggested "maybe we should have an open relationship. Mainly for your benefit" Almost certainly a shit test but I'm considering taking her up on it so I can plate her.
DreamscapeGamer 6y ago
Get rid of her, man. She's put her needs before your needs AND you're putting her needs before your needs.
Put your needs before her needs just like she is doing and watch the magic happen.
mountainbiker178 6y ago
That's sucks. Walk away. It's already over. She's trying to make you her orbiter.
somboodee 6y ago
Open relationship my ass. You accept her terms and you are branding yourself her cuck.
Make it clear she will now just be your fuck buddy or better yet just get rid of her altogether, for your own good.
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
Having given it some thought I agree with you. There really would be very little point continuing to see her in a non-exclusive arrangement. She has the lowest sex drive of any LTR I've had and I've no doubt the oneitis would linger and she'd make sure to use it against me.
A lot of guys here instantly advise "downgrade her" when responding to reports of poor behaviour from LTR but I think the vast majority would benefit more from cutting ties.
Daimonon 6y ago
That's the point.. this downgrading thing you're mentioning is just you trying to protect your ego because you don't want to face that you've already been demoted yourself. She gives no shits for ya and hasn't done so in a while. She couldn't care less if she saw you once a day or once a month.. she just wants other dick. Dump her.
RandyBumgardner85 6y ago
One of the things I love about TRP is having people point out when my ego is distorting reality. No matter how much you drill this shit into yourself it's always so much clearer being on the outside looking into someone else's situation than when you're in the shit yourself.
Just got a text from her "I really think I should go travelling! Don't you think that would be a good idea?"
She's well aware this is a deal breaker for me. I travel every year for a month. I took her last time (big mistake) but she has no reason to assume I wouldn't take her again so to signal to me that she wants to travel alone can mean nothing other than her asking me to dump her.
Daimonon 6y ago
She's trying to make you a cuck.. dump her asap
Sworn_to_Ganondorf 6y ago
This title is so sad god this sub has taken a fuckin tumble.
laylowwww 6y ago
Very solid post, cheers.
AwkwardEmpath 6y ago
Enjoyed the read, thanks for sharing.