Alright guys. I come to you with a serious question. Let me set up with some backstory. I went to high school with this girl. I had a huge crush on her and she knew it. Of course it goes without saying that I was in the friend zone. I got over it. We have extremely limited contact these days. Today I hear from her out of the blue. Asks me if I want to hang out.
The last time she called me she needed a job. Which I offered to help her with. I set her up at my place of business to have an interview. She knocked it out of the park. I told her that we were prepared to offer her a spot. She declined it. Since then I haven't really heard from her. I meet up with her at a coffee shop. We sit down. Have our usual bullshit small talk. Then she brings up her boyfriend. Of course. She proceeds to tell me all the problems she dealing with in relation to him and I sit back quietly and sip my coffee listening only slightly. When she stops talking I give her my opinion and she starts crying. Jesus fuck. I let her know the truth in that he doesn't value her and blah blah blah. You guys know the narrative. She keeps crying so I suggest we go somewhere else because fuck being in public with a crying girl that isn't my girlfriend nor is she my problem.
So after we leave we go to her place. Don't really talk much there. She gets high and tells me that I'm her "best friend." I don't get pissed off. I just brush it off. Whatever. I already knew that I had a vagina in her mind anyway. My question to you is how do I tell this girl that I don't want to be her emotional fucking tampon any longer?
Grizzly907LA 10y ago
Dude just ditch the bitch. She's just using you, and could give two shits about you. I made the mistake of being an emotional tampon when I was younger because I didn't know any better. I broke that happen when this one girl (neurotic bitch,) who was in every 12 step program known to mankind used me as an emotional tampon. She had the dirtbag of the week club, and only called me when she needed something. I asked her out for a date and she shut me down. Of course being the SIMP I was I did favors for her. One day she called me and asked for something and I told her "you only call me when you need something, and no I am not going to help you." After that she never called me again and I effectively ditched the bitch. Don't let these soulless whores suck the life out of you, and use you like a human ATM, or an emotional tampon. Focus on your goals, live your life, have fun. Pump and dump these cunts and save your cash. You're a young man and have your whole life in front of you. Live life to the fullest and young padawan. Learn from old farts like me.
slcjosh 10y ago
stop talking to her. You are already in the phase of her bleeding her emotional bullshit all over you. Just cut contact. You are no longer available to her. Simple as that.
www777com 10y ago
"Then she brings up her boyfriend."
A real person (whether man or woman) does what a real person would. Does a real man find talking about a person's relationship problems fun--a person he use to have a crush on?! Hell no! A real woman might. But not a real man. So you should do what a real man would do:
"I don't want to talk about that stuff."
It sounds so easy that it's got to be a socially unacceptable solution, but trust me, it's very effective and definitely socially acceptable. I say this from experience because I used to think that being so forward would come off as rude. I've found in my own life experience that a woman may not like your response (or action/reaction), but if your response is real, like the response of a real person, they respect it. She may not like my words but if she knows I'm being real, she respects it.
redpillexplainsit 10y ago
ShekelBanker 10y ago
So in other words she preferred you stay like a nice doggy outside her zone, even if she was aware of your feelings for her.
Try to be less nicer to people OP, or at least be nice with people who deserve not those already with an early record of fucking you over (yes, emotional fuck-over is something)
What I did was to tell the few women that attempted to use me as an emotional tampon that "I am not a counsellor nor a psychologist to help you with this, and even if I was, I wouldn't do it at the expense of my own sanity." Guaranteed you'll lose any contact with the said girl after, but it shows her that you don't accept tolerating her bullshit, which is an attribute of the alpha.
gohammer3 10y ago
Just walk away dude, If a girl spills her guts to you before you guys have sex consider her pussy locked for good.
brotherjustincrowe 10y ago
"This is what happens when you have shitty taste in guys."
Delete phone number, unfriend and block Facebook, block email, extra points if you fuck one of her girl BFFs. No negotiation, no half measures. She doesn't respect you, will never love you and honestly probably doesn't even like you. You're nothing but a source of handouts to her. Kick to curb.
RPGrappler 10y ago
In the immortal words of Patrice O'Neal, STOP being this bitch's time ho
[deleted]
abdada 10y ago
She smoked your weed and you gave her your ear, at no cost?
Wrong subreddit. Seriously.
The only advice here is what you already know: Hard Next.
Stop being friends with females.
[deleted] 10y ago
No I don't smoke weed. Fuck that shit. But you're right.
abdada 10y ago
You owe her nothing.
Hard Next.
If she calls, ignore her. If she texts, be cool. Make plans and flake. Say you forgot. Practice spinning the hamster, at best. Say you:ve got plans. Just ignore her.
Instill dread. Learn it.
mordanus 10y ago
You need to understand that you are being used here. Take a good look at the relationship and ask yourself if she is putting in equal amounts of effort to keep this friendship. You already know the answer is no. You are giving her a constant source of validation and a shoulder to cry on and you are getting nothing in return.
The way you next her is just get sick of this behavior. Stop accepting it and move on. When she calls or texts you can brush her off or say you don't have the time at the moment if you are concerned about burning any bridges. Just stop hanging out with her at all costs and find male friends instead.
You are being her white knight. You are rescuing her from all the bad in her life and you need to see that in order to deal with it. You are getting her jobs that she doesn't want, giving her advice to fix her shitty relationships that she doesn't want fixed, and wasting your time on someone who could replace you with a mannequin or a diary. You need to realize that your white knighting isn't wanted and you are as replaceable as toilet paper. Stop letting her use you like this.
[deleted] 10y ago
simple. Just ignore her and tell her you are busy.
foldpak111 10y ago
Straight up tell her to fuck off because you're not her emotional tampon
R_E_D_1 10y ago
First of all, this should be on /r/asktrp. Go read (or reread) the posting rules and guidelines in the sidebar.
Secondly, you should do some more reading before you ask questions like this. So go read everything else on the sidebar.
Lastly, if you haven't found an answer to the question question your offered in the reading, go to /r/bluepill or /r/TwoXChromosomes or /r/AskWomen. They'll be more apt to help you.
Misteralcala 10y ago
Amused mastery and some not-so-subtle IDGAF comments should help get your point across to her and any other women who try to use you to soak up their emotional vagina blood. These are all meant to be said with an amused look and a shit-eating grin:
as they begin to tell you their man troubles
"Ooooh, is it that time already? Well, it looks like it's time for me to order a drink and pretend to listen to your man problems."
"Keep talking, I'm going to be on my phone but I'm hanging on every word! Just let me know when you're done so we can start making out."
"Hey. Stop that. You don't get to dump your problems on me unless we're having sex."
"Well. That's ten minutes of my life I can never get back!"
"You know what's really attractive? Women who don't complain about men to other men."
"Boner successfully killed. Check please."
[deleted] 10y ago
points for originality - (alt+11)
Misteralcala 10y ago
That's why you need the amused mastery + shit eating grin. If you say them with a serious or bored face, you will be seen as a huge tool. However, if you do it in a playful, teasing manner, she will feel self-conscious enough to drop it, but won't be offended enough to shut down on you.
[deleted] 10y ago
GROW A PAIR OF NUTS... Call that chick up right now and say what you want. either you won't be friends or you will fuck her, either way problem solved and you can look in the mirror with pride.
vicolani07 10y ago
Wrong advice, don't call her, it's easier for her to say no over the phone, in person, you can escalate just a tiny bit and you get a definite answer, if she goes with it, you score, if she doesn't, you next her....easy
[deleted] 10y ago
At this point after knowing all of the shit she's been through and all the bullshit I've put up with for years I don't even want to fuck her. The post above is right. Next that shit.
erqos 10y ago
Sounds like you're still on the fence about wanting her, because if you were no longer interested you'd have told her off already. Or maybe you're just trying to blow her off politely. In that case, be annoying and boring so she'll go away on her own. Anyway, it's beneath your dignity to be with someone who has historically thought so little of you, even if you use TRP to finally give her the tingles.
[deleted] 10y ago
Reading your post, it sounds like she's a people user who keeps making bad choices. By tolerating her, and letting her vent with you, you are being her crutch and helping her feel better. What she really needs is to be left to suffer for her decisions, its the only way she'll really take a look at where she went wrong. Also, She's not going to reward you for "being there for her", so why be there?
[deleted] 10y ago
This would be better off in /r/asktrp
[deleted] 10y ago
You already know that "next" is the rp thing to do.
You are obviously in the friendzone. I came up with a funny non-rp way of handling it. I call it "Treat her like a friend".
People often don't understand the difference between being friends and being in the friendzone. You will see quickly if you start to actually treat her like a friend. She says you are her best friend? Great, that means she will support you! Need anything done? Ask her for help! That's what friends do. Had a hard week? Call her, tell her you need her emotional support, meet somewhere and lay it on her. Your struggles at work, your loneliness, your health. Ask her for advice and her opinion. This should take at least 2h. Oh and you are just friends that means no flirting. You are not trying to conquer her. Don't make more compliments than she does. (Will mean probably none). Friends also call friends out on their shit. If a stranger fucks up, you wouldn't tell him because it's none of your business. But you would absolutely call a friend out if he fucks up. So do that! After all you are her best friend.
Do all that and see the look of confusion on her face. You will be laughing your ass off years later when you picture the look on her face.
And you won't have to think about how to get rid of her. She will take care of that.
foldpak111 10y ago
He'll be surprised as to how fast she'll run away.
OakTr3E 10y ago
This post is severely underrated. This is solid advice for bluepillers to challenge their delusional state of orbiting and pussypedestalizing. Treat her like an equal instead of a queen.
rednukleus 10y ago
I tried to be friends with a girl who I had a crush on who at one point liked me back but began dating a friend instead. She made it sound at first like she was still available, but when I learned the truth, that they were really a serious couple, I tried to overcome my feelings and just be her friend. It became painfully obvious that she could not view me as a friend but only consider me to be an orbiter. I stopped hanging out with her and she eventually got the message that I wasn't going to try to orbit her. Hopefully she concluded that it was because I have respect for my friend and their relationship, but I wouldn't be too confident that she can even think in those terms.. She began to treat me like a normal person again when we would bump into each other.
[deleted] 10y ago
There's no such thing as a "female friend", unless in the case that you know this female from child-hood (your sister for instance, which isn't always the case).
[deleted]
exit_sandman 10y ago
Honestly, I couldn't even do all that shit if I wanted to get rid of someone on purpose.
[deleted] 10y ago
Morbid curiosity makes me do things.
DRMMR76 10y ago
There's "how" about it. You just stop. You can either tell her or start ignoring her. If you tell her you can get you emotional catharsis and tell her off or settle with a simple "listen, I've valued your friendship, but I've come to the conclusion you don't value mine. I choose to be friends with those who treat friendship as a two way street. So far, you have not. So I don't think I can be your friend anymore. Goodbye"
Just. Stop.