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Forums.Red / TheRedPill / Red Pill Theory

633

[deleted]

Posted 8y ago in Red Pill Theory - Permalink - Locked - 13.3K Views

TLDR Betas mateguard, Alphas disregard

There is a sad fucker who posted to askMRP yesterday. The guy snooped his wife's Facebook and saw some musclehead from the gym looking to "workout" with his wife. He confronted the guy and it blew up in his face.

I don't want to dwell on the OP and how he is crying himself to sleep with her wedding ring stashed in his mommy's safe. I'm not insensitive to the plight of Uberbetas (like yours truly several years ago), I just feel inspired by the sad tale to explain the proper way to mateguard.

YOU DON'T DO IT

Again:

Don't Mate guard

We talk alot at TRP about abundance and how women are innately attracted to a sturdy, non-needy frame. There is nothing that exemplifies needy like jealousy.

When you show your woman jealousy, you are covertly communicating that you are not the best she can do. It's pouring gasoline on the fires of hypergamy. You WILL be cheated on or lose that bitch.

So....CAD...how did you deal with a recent situation where Mrs CAD had tingles for her old boss Geoff?

I bit my lip and fought off the internal pain of "why does she want to go for drinks with hiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmm". I teased her mercilessly about her "fallback guy" and how cute it was that she had a puppylove crush. Said he was a super sweet guy and she should explore her opportunities. She fucking hated the overt talk about her "group outing" that I correctly relabeled a "drinks date with plausible deniability."

And she really hated my smug attitude about it.

She wanted me to quietly accept it (Fail!...Do not pass go.) Or create some delicious drama and out myself as a weak envious faggot.

Either way is express train to Cucksville.

No, instead... You dispassionately set some rules and enforce them.

Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

Wanna workout with StealYourBitch Jones from the gym? I'll see that and raise by having three hour lunch with Jodi from marketing. The one you know wants my D..yup...her.

Who cares if she pouts and huffs and puffs that you are a "controlling asshole"?

.

If she thinks she can walk all over you...this relationship is doomed anyway.

Summary: She ain't yours, it's just your turn so don't mateguard and it will probably work out fine.

Permalink

[deleted] 8y ago

If you need to mate-guard, then she's not worth mate-guarding.

1

TheRabbitTunnel 8y ago

I think this post is great, but I would have ended with a different conclusion. You suggested that instead of mateguarding, you one up her by doing it back to her (seeing other people yourself).

If my girl was seeing others with interest, I would just drop her right there. Will turning it around on her make her jealous and attracted to you? You bet. Is that the kind of girl you want to LTR/marry? In my opinion, no. It doesn't matter that you can keep her, the question should be do you want to keep her?

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--SLUT_SLAYER-- 8y ago

Good post and great discussion. I think the takeaway here that I'm getting is:

Best: lighthearted lesson or tit for tat

Bad: no response (aka 'taking it')

Worse: emotional/jealous response

It can be difficult. I am still learning to call out other guys that hit on her and would love some pointers. Responses I've been testing are:

"Oh man we have a player here! I better leave you two alone I don't wanna mess up your game!" (This caused the dude to freak a little)

"Haha it seems like you wanna date my girlfriend! All yours buddy! Hope you can afford her, she's your problem now. Have fun buying valentine's gifts and going to family dinners." (embarrassed gf. Probably not going to say that again it went too far on the ass hole spectrum. Group of guys retreated from me. One tried to kino gf on way out and she kept flinching away)

"Hey bud are you picking up on my sister!? Im her little brother you should buy me a drink to impress her" (This shit was pretty funny for our group. The dude left so I guess he figured it out or didn't like me. Apparently having a tall jacked little brother makes a girl scary.)

1

[deleted] 8y ago

Too wordy.

Try "just ask bro, she's already creaming her panties thinking bout us double teaming her"

That's when he slinks away and she loses interest in him cause now you showed that you have real game.

2

[deleted] 8y ago

I teased her mercilessly about her "fallback guy" and how cute it was that she had a puppylove crush. Said he was a super sweet guy and she should explore her opportunities. She fucking hated the overt talk about her "group outing" that I correctly relabeled a "drinks date with plausible deniability."

that's just as beta as mateguarding. it's not cute. it's disgusting. it should disgust you. you have boundaries and if she crosses them, permanent demotion to fwb status, if she crosses them hard, no contact.

2

[deleted] 8y ago

Not how it works in the beginning of an LTR or marriage where one unplugs late

2

T0000009 8y ago

You only guard what has value...

No used up twat has enough value to justify guarding

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[deleted]

BannedBandit 8y ago

I'm going to be dropping a bitch before I start playing games like calling my ex-plate just to get her to notice. That is shit that women do.

If your girl goes out for lunch with her ex, you don't go out with some chick from work and then casually mention it to see how she reacts, you just fuckin dump the bitch.

15

squirestrat 8y ago

You can do this.

I think /u/BannedBandit is just on the same spectrum, different wavelength.

Totally appropriate response, if you want it to be. Hell - I'd do this to in most cases. Everyones situation is different though.

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[deleted] 8y ago

[deleted]

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[deleted] 8y ago

The point is that women are interchangeable sex toys and public property. Treat them as such and they like you more, not less.

1

animalpoo 8y ago

I like the whole "not mate guarding". However reacting to her action instantly I.e. By going out with Jodie from marketing. Is too "in your face".

At the most say "my girlfriend would never do that". With girlfriend being a position any girl can fill, not her specifically. Should she go ahead, she's not your girlfriend and you gave her fair warning.

11

le_king_falcon 8y ago

It all depends on context.

If she acting out to test boundaries in a way that is too obvious to be ignored sometimes an overt reaction to show you don't care or will beat her with her own club is better than perceived passivity. After all passive acceptance of shitty behaviour is correctly seen as ultra beta behaviour.

2

Meat-on-the-table 8y ago

Jealousy and mate-guarding are just more signs that she has you. And once she has you, you get relegated to the back of the mind, and she, in one way or another, seeks someone new to stimulate and excite her.

If you're indifferent to her shit, however, she'll be asking herself why you don't care. Works even better in LTRs and marriages, because then she already thinks she has you. Expect her to be thinking of you and your aloofness when she's out and not focusing on the guy she's with.

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Primemale 8y ago

Whilst I obviously agree,there is also such a thing as guys who don't show their woman enough attention or affection and that will have the same result, of course these dudes are in the minority as opposed to the jealous types.

We know, for good reason that a man doesn't want his woman/women to fuck other dudes evolutionarily speaking, so I'm not convinced that it's always a sign of beta behaviour. Taking her shit by wanting to see another dude or whatever would be beta also.

I personally know very alpha dudes that give their (serious)chicks a scolding or withdraw attention etc. if they were to say compliment a guy from a movie such as ''he's sooo cuuuuteee'' because they feel it is disrespectful, although note that this is in a relationship and not plates.

Overall I still agree that it is generally going to be seen that she can do better, sure. I personally am in that category and if my girls ever compliment other dudes she's gone for good, done. I'm only interested in chicks that worship me like the king that I am.

4

Invalidity 8y ago

I agree with OP that no guy should be mate guarding. Having said that though, a guy must establish boundaries for his partner as to what is and isn't acceptable. If she ever passes beyond this boundary, she is to be passed on.

The difficulty in marriage is that she is absolutely certain she already has you, and truth be told, she does. You could divorce her, but she's safeguarded by the legal system. That is generally why it isn't a good idea for men to marry.

Being indifferent is great for handling plates and sometimes girlfriends. More so for plates because it really doesn't matter what she does, if she's not doing things you like, you can always drop her for another girl.

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marty2k 8y ago

This is why modern marriage is so hated by us. You give away your ultimate power, to walk away with no to few strings attached.

1

Assassin1476 8y ago

Exactly. If she has you married, moved in to your place or have kids by you, she essentially has her claws in you in some manner. That's why you limit the options and never put yourself in that situation. The greatest offense is a solid defense.

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darkrood 8y ago

Wife: What? you gonna meet up Jodi for lunch?! (I will count that as psychological abuse in my head and raise that to the judge as a domestic abuse incident. :D)

2

Invalidity 8y ago

Women are much more likely to be passive aggressive than men. That example is not psychological abuse until she starts attempting to shame you for it.

You would just say, "Yeah," and meet up with Jodi to have lunch with her. If your wife attempts to shame you, you just give her the "are you fucking serious right now?" look and just shake your head. It's like you're deducting points from her. And you should. The more a girl misbehaves, the more you need to put her in her place.

1

TorboLeto 8y ago

Are you supposed to tell your LTR your boundaries, and if so, how?

1

Invalidity 8y ago

If you don't want to be direct about it, bringing it up in conversation.

For example, say you don't like girls going clubbing on a girl's night out. Instead of telling your partner you don't want her going out clubbing, you tell her that you don't think it's appropriate for a girl in a relationship to go clubbing with her girlfriends.

You should not be passive-aggressively trying to stop her, but you should be able to express your values freely. If it is truly what you believe, you should be confident enough to express it.

2

InsiderT 8y ago

I like everything you wrote up until:

Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

Wanna workout with StealYourBitch Jones from the gym? I'll see that and raise by having three hour lunch with Jodi from marketing. The one you know wants my D..yup...her.

Who cares if she pouts and huffs and puffs that you are a "controlling asshole"?

This is not setting rules and enforcing them. This is childish and not worth my time. If she's LTR material, the rules are the rules. If she persists, I have to recognize that she is not, in fact, LTR material.

If I start seeing other people because she is, or if I start having lunch with Jodi because she's working out with Jones, I'm just fueling her emotionally by being the asshole. I see absolutely nothing to gain with this approach.

IMO the right move is to remind her that you don't own her, that we're all free to do as we need to do. She's gotta decide if she needs to work out with Jones or if she needs to be my plate/gf/fiance/wife/[insert your preferred label here]. If she whines, complains, persists, recognize it for what it is - she's not LTR material - and start treating her accordingly. Regardless of what you decide to do with Jodi, she doesn't need to know, she's just a plate at this point, or less if you don't even think she's worth the time for that.

I do agree with how you finished though:

If she thinks she can walk all over you...this relationship is doomed anyway.

Summary: She ain't yours, it's just your turn so don't mateguard and it will probably work out fine.

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marty2k 8y ago

I agree, but you are forgetting the major key here. Marriage.

To be in a successful marriage, you have to be reactive and Machiavellian. Else, she'll cheat and take half your shit. By getting married you take away your greatest power, to walk away. She knows you can't leave on a whim, so you have to manipulate the situation to keep it afloat.

1

RedEyesBlueShades 8y ago

Yes and no.

If you see Jodi because you want to get back at her, then she's really in control of the situation. But if you see Jodi because you are acknowledging that the world is changing - the agreement between the two of you is no longer as solid as you thought it was - you are simply shifting your attention to someone more deserving.

If you start looking for another job when the company starts to go down, you are doing the smart thing.

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[deleted]

Fulp_Piction 8y ago

Precisely. What do you get out of reacting?

The idea of frame is that you don't react. You're unshaken, so you let her run on and do what you were doing anyway. If she does something shitty enough to warrant a breakup you break up with her then go and do what you were doing anyway. Revenge is emotionally driven, it's not logical, and anytime it seems logical is completely coincidental.

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[deleted] 8y ago

8

enfier 8y ago

What do you get out of reacting?

Um a date with Jodi from marketing? If my wife wanted that deal I'd have my soft harem assembled in a month.

It works because it's a credible threat, not a theoretical one. If my wife wants to branch swing, I'm not going to stop her.

1

Yourmamasmama 8y ago

Yep. Just learnt this recently. Remember, fools learn from experience while the smart learn from history.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

My father said something along the lines of your summary. He said, "Albizzy, this isn't your wife that you are having sex with, this is some other mans wife until you put a ring on her finger."

5

seeing-red- 8y ago

Except putting a ring on her finger makes it worse because it's that much harder for you to leave. We say that being married is TRP on hard mode for good reason.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

As Rev. Lawrence Shannon said, all women are public property.

If she -be she an LTR,Plate, wife,whatever- wants another mans dick bad enough that's exactly what's gonna happen.The last person to know will be her Main Guy.

One of the biggest lies society boxes up for males is the idea that If A Man Does X (get married, show commitment, be wealthy , etc) hell have a good woman to himself.

That's a con up there with the De Beers industry and ARM mortgages. Diamonds are common, houses aren't free, and women are public dispensers of sex.

6

[deleted] 8y ago

A girl I've been fucking around with for a few weeks now was trying to pull out the "Where is this going? I wanna be bf/gf" card earlier than most.

"That's not what I'm looking for."

"So then you don't care if I date or sleep with other guys?"

"Whether or not we are bf/gf has absolutely no effect on whether or not you are going to date or sleep with other guys."

She was speechless. She looked like I had just sucked the life force out of her. Write that one down fellas, it's my go-to in these situations and it works miraculously. Don't ever let a girl pretend that her commitment can control you.

1

KartagoPill 8y ago

I think women and men don't love each other the same way. Saying women are dispensers of sex it's true. Women don't see sex as love, so AF/BB is working. It is our gap for powerplay thanks to AF/BB strategy. Always have options so, whatever happens to her I don't care.

0

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

A woman needs to be in a constant state of dread that if she misbehaves you will leave her.

The only screwed up thing now is the Child Support (as well as marriage) laws that grant powers to women that violate the Natural Laws. These are the things you worry about. Once you get a woman pregnant she has the legal powers now to make your life a living hell. Hopefully one day we can repeal Child Support as a concept. (it didn't exist 50 years ago and is just wrong)

No baby?

Well, heck, you really have no worries.

Young beta boys fear the wrong things. They fear emotional loss in a relationship. That's of low priority as a threat in the larger scheme of things.

Pay attention to the big dangers (Child Support) and don't worry about ending relationships for emotional reasons.

Witness a Divorce Rape... that will give you a sense of perspective.

 

63

[deleted] 8y ago

A woman needs to be in a constant state of dread that if she misbehaves you will leave her.

In other words -- you want to be high value enough so that leaving you or giving you a reason to leave is a poor choice.

9

marty2k 8y ago

Even then, she'll cheat. Women are never thinking about the future when it comes to love and emotions. You could be the most baller, badges, money making, six packed man in the world, and she'll cheat if she's horny and alone.

Get a girl on a cruise with another alpha without you and no amount of dread game will work.

1

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

A woman that does not look up to you is not worth knowing.

 

5

Sementeries 8y ago

I'd say to all the men (maybe women) that if you come from a broken home whose parents divorced each other, realize how hard that was, and whether or not you could put your kids through the same.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

I'm 7 years into an LTR. no marriage, no kids, never will...

Seeing my shitty house, and moms second divorce (old school divorce, you know, where people ask why she didn't earlier) signaled pretty strongly that it's not a good idea

1

KurrKurr 8y ago

Child support? Yes, you can avoid this by proper contraception.

But alimony is a whole other bitch!
It's hard to avoid it, because it's possible you owe it after a separation even if you're not married! (AFAIK - Edit: see: http://www.divorcenet.com/states/nationwide/palimony ... this is ludicrous). California, Texas are pretty bad. On the other hand, living in Georgia is rather advantageous if she decides to ride the CC. (A quick Google search brought up this: http://www.worldlawdirect.com/forum/divorce-separation-annulment/68237-what-state-states-usa-award-lowest-alimony-amount-duration.html)

So, read your states legislation before you dive into a LTR!

0

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

Apparently in Canada they have stretched the Feminist concept so that all you have to do is allow a woman to live in your home and the state dumps a truckload of laws on your head that enslave you to her.

The simple takeaway is this:

The state should never become involved in the family.

If that simple rule were followed all these problems would disappear and we would return to a Natural Law situation.

We live under "Man's Laws" and not "Natural Laws" and that is our error.

This has all occurred in the last 50-100 years.

The Founding Fathers were deeply aware of Natural Laws and did everything they could to not violate them.

Originally the thinking went:

 

"If it is not found within the Natural Laws then the state cannot recognize it."

 

...but these days the thinking goes:

 

"Laws are imposed by force through the majority."

 

And in 1919 when women were granted the vote it guaranteed their majority in all things.

 

1

Mithra9009 8y ago

How exactly does one witness a divorce rape? You can't exactly walk in to the courtroom with popcorn and spectate a trial, can you?

0

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

Both my brothers got divorce raped.

Family, friends, co-workers, etc...

 

0

Statecensor 8y ago

Yes child support is a bitch and it does get out of hand but at the end of the day if your stupid enough to not use a rubber. Then why should the state have to force the rest of us to pay for your woman's womb droppings? We go after dead beat dads otherwise their woman and kids will be on welfare and food stamps costing us all more in the long run.

Sure you might not let it happen to your kid but plenty of other men bitter about a divorce or a break up have no problem abandoning their responsibility to financially support their kids.

Don't want to pay child support then use a rubber or get fixed otherwise tough shit.

3

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

Why should the state have to force the rest of us to pay for your woman's womb droppings?

It should NOT pay.

The state should not get involved. If the children want to be with the daddy and daddy will provide for them that's great. No need to have the family court system.

If on the other hand the woman is a hard worker as an Old Maid (or other job... just using the historical image) then if she wants the kids that's great too.

The state needs to just do nothing.

 

2

[deleted] 8y ago

'should' has no place here.

Right or wrong, it happens now, act accordingly

1

bluedrygrass 8y ago

We go after dead beat dads otherwise their woman and kids will be on welfare and food stamps costing us all more in the long run.

That is socialist mentality. No, if women risked anything in being single mothers, like it's naturally supposed to be, they would adjust their behaviours in a heartbeat. In fucking milliseconds. They know what's up, better than you and me.

A woman will only push as far as she's allowed to. If she had to pay for her errors, she would think twice.

Instead, with forcing male slaves to pay for women's fun, we're encouraging the behaviour.

Even relationships that otherwise would have been stable and happy are now broken because women are constantly baited by the concept of cheating and stealing half of a man's assets and his sons for free.

18

rpscrote 8y ago

socialists and liberals literally can not compute that people change their behavior in response to regulatory/legal changes. Their entire economic belief system is founded on the fiction that people will act the same way no matter what.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

prison doesn't stop crime, it only keeps the honest people honest.

there will be a level of this happening regardless of the negative incentives... at the end of the day, as a society we have to come up with a way of dealing with it.

this is in no way an endorsement of the current 'solution' but sticking your head in the sand is just going to cause more problems than it fixes

0

bluedrygrass 8y ago

No, it's actually going to fix more problems than this current state, that's the point.

Women wouldn't slut around as much or break marriages just for the sake of it if they had to deal with the responsibilities of their actions. For some men it's hard to imagine. But it's like dogs or other animals. they look completely random and chaotic, but in reality they're extremely quick in learning or predicting what hurts them and remember it in the future.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

Tell you what, pull a reason out other than what you feel, and I'll buy it.

Birth control is out, abundance is there, short of losing the pill, and the zombies coming, neither will go away

1

[deleted] 8y ago

[deleted]

4

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

What country is that?

In America we have a family court system where the judge can pretty much do whatever he wants as far as assigning Child Support. If you are seen as rich then the judge can quadruple the payment. The sky is the limit if you are very rich.

 

3

[deleted] 8y ago

[deleted]

2

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

Boy that would be great.

If there were limits that would prevent a lot of uncertainty about it.

I'm assuming this is a fixed absolute cap and not a fixed percentage cap.

 

5

[deleted] 8y ago

[deleted]

1

NeoreactionSafe 8y ago

 

$3000 UK pounds * 1.44 = $4320 US dollars

$4320 month 12 months 18 years = $933,120

That's not cheap.

Less than someone like Robin Williams though... he lost millions. (and killed himself)

That's just short of a million US dollars.

 

"A Million Dollar Baby."

 

6

mksu 8y ago

When she sucks off her boss, you should go and suck 3 dudes off to get back at her. That will teach her!

1

[deleted]

Rougepellet 8y ago

Controlling asshole? How is that being controlling? I can't forcibly controll my girls, only myself. So they are free to do whatever they want. If they want to meet up with their ex boyfriend I can't stop them and won't try. I'll just consider the relationship over and start seeing other people. In no way does that controll their actions, only mine.

3

Regularguygamebrah 8y ago

I tell em if they like to play games, then be careful. Because, I play to win, baby.

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favours_of_the_moon 8y ago

CONTROLLING: Telling a white girl not to do something 1: stupid or 2: slutty.

0

ManOfGrapes 8y ago

OP gonna ruffle some newbie feathers with this post. Anyway, in the past six months I've upped my passive dread big time with my woman. I've improved a lot in the gym, done well on the job front, etc. but I've also made it a huge point to not give a fuck about sex.

I denied her passively the other day by continuing to focus on the budget stuff I was working on and she lost it. Kept begging for it. Finally gave it to her after I finished, but whatever. The point is, I've been noticing a lot more recently how she'll go out of her way to prove her loyalty to me. The cooking is top-notch now and she makes it a point to make sure I'm aware of what she is doing all the time (not that I give a fuck). Aloofness is so effective, and the best part is, you don't have to do much at all.

45

[deleted] 8y ago

The point is, I've been noticing a lot more recently how she'll go out of her way to prove her loyalty to me.

It's hilarious when women try to use commitment as something they can give you. My number one plate is constantly randomly bringing up how she doesn't sleep with anyone else, completely unprovoked.

"Uh huh, sure you don't ;)"

"No I swear! On my grandma! I love her more than the world, I wouldn't swear on her if I didn't mean it."

"Aww that's cute."

It's hilarious to watch them squirm for you when they've already given you the only thing you should give a shit about.

3

YouDislikeMyOpinion 8y ago

I wish more men would pick up their fucking balls and use them.

Look at how many successful men there are in this thread. Commitment, sex, food, respect, etc is served on a silver platter. Not to mention something that I value much more than all of those combined. Peace of mind. Enjoyment of life.

For men who are knee deep in shit, it can seem that this is out of reach. It's not. It just requires work, time, and persistence. Climb the mountain and enjoy the view from the top.

I hope that many men reading this thread will get angry and do something about it. Because these results are not uncommon.

4

frys180 8y ago

but I've also made it a huge point to not give a fuck about sex.

This alone has improved my LTR tremendously. Guys don't know how powerful this is.

8

enkae7317 8y ago

My gf recently told me she's going to withhold sex from me if i don't do this and that for her.

I literally laughed in her face. It was so ridiculous. She caved before the day was over.

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[deleted]

TorboLeto 8y ago

I've read around here that desiring your woman in itself turns her on. If you don't give a duck about sex, isn't that contradictory?

1

YouDislikeMyOpinion 8y ago

I've read around here that desiring your woman in itself turns her on. If you don't give a duck about sex, isn't that contradictory?

It is healthy for a man to want sex, and to have it.

Do you remember how much you cared about sex when you were with your first? Compare that to now. Do you care as much now? But you still want sex, and have it.

That should answer your question.

1

enfier 8y ago

It's the sort of situation where nuance is important. Your relationship with your woman should be a distinctly sexual one, but getting turned down shouldn't put you in a bad mood. There are a lot of ways to get there.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

If newbies aren't getting upset then they ain't learning.

54

ckp2906 8y ago

Hi. Just replying to a random comment.

Wouldn't you react to a guy hitting on your girl at, lets say, a bar? Ain't there some old primal alpha gene, to protect your mate or something?

3

marty2k 8y ago

Only if she has given clear signs she's not interested and he's persistent. As an alpha male, you may not necessarily be the provider but you are the protector. I'm very keen on body language and can tell if a woman has mentioned me just by looking at the conversation.

I've had to do this a few times in bars/clubs before, I don't barge in and start making threats, but just make my presence known. Only once has it ever come to blows, and the guy was so drunk off his ass it was like fending off a giant toddler.

1

External12 8y ago

No. You watch and observe at most. Then you decide to talk to some girl yourself or assume you need to cut you losses eventually if she's enjoying someone else's attention right in front of you. It depends in how this scenario goes. But most importantly initially, don't give a fuck, she should do something about it whether it's telling him she's with someone or "he was a nice guy and just wanted to talk" bullshit story.

1

[deleted] 8y ago

If she were bothered and genuinely distressed by the guys advances then id break his jaw.

More likely, a woman enjoys the attention and its a massive shit test and id leave and let the guy have her

1

[deleted] 8y ago

lol, you don't know much about CAD, do you.

chances are while he wife is at the bar, he's otherwise engaged. She wouldn't tell him about it anyways

1

[deleted]

[deleted] 8y ago

[deleted]

5

[deleted] 8y ago

Its a bit nuanced. Many girls want to make their guy jealous precisely because he isn't. They are "dating" (read: pumped by) Chad and think they can reform him. If Chad reformed and became full-on beta, then they would lose attraction.. Women want you to be alpha most of the time, but beta just occasionally enough that they feel special.

tl;dr its attractive if YOU DO IT because YOU WON'T DO IT. the second doing it becomes your MO, it is no longer attractive

1

GarandTheftAvto 8y ago

Whether or not the woman sees it as controlling (in the absence of some fetish) entirely depends on your SMV, imo.

4

YouDislikeMyOpinion 8y ago

Yes.

Guy meets girl. Guy does what he wants in his life. Girl wants Guy. Girl shit tests guy to see where she stands with him. Guy reacts, mateguards.

Situation 1: The guy has 3 plates. The girl successfully pulls him into her orbit. She came out on top vs. 3 girls. The game is not over, this is just her first move. The guy can also leave at anytime if he feels like it.

Situation 2: The guy has nothing going on. The girl pulls him into her orbit. Who did she beat? No one was even competing for him. This means that she already won the game.

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TheTempService 8y ago

Thread op is talking about for reference ?

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Fulp_Piction 8y ago

Key point here is "that's cool". If you show that it bothers you, you may as well paint a big shit test target on that topic in future.

Your ability to walk away is the most valuable asset in your arsenal, and makes the hamster spin whether you have options or not.

Let her do what she wants. It's a win win; you either have a girl that wants to be with you or a girl that wants to be with somebody else. It keeps you out of marginal situations and keeps your decision-making process simple.

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bertmaklinFBI 8y ago

He did show it bothered him though. That's the kicker everyone seems to be missing.

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Eugenics2015 8y ago

I don't feel jealously I just feel disrespected. There is a difference

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[deleted] 8y ago

I used to feel that way but thats your ego talking.

This is what women do

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Eugenics2015 8y ago

Yes, I am egotistical. All alphas are.

Physically, I am an attractive man and women stare at me from time to time. They often blatantly do this while they are with their boyfriends, their husbands and even their fathers. Its disgusting. When I see this happening (and the guy gets red faced... pretending he doesn't care). I lose respect for the man... its like his woman is slapping him in the face. This is something I will never accept. If she wants to look at other men she can do it when i'm not around, but if i'm there there no way in hell I will tolerate that disrespect.

Interestingly enough seeing her talking to other men is not a big problem for me. And on the flip-side I oogle at other women in public, but would never flirt with another girl around my GF.

Gender roles work

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[deleted] 8y ago

You sound very handsome and strong. Wanna get a drink?

Kidding aside, you and I arent that fucking great where we can alpha away a bitchs programming for strange D.

She may fear losing her best option and not act on it but there is no "Alpha Away" her desires and she will eternally probe for weakness .

Best way to handle is to remind self she is leased.

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Eugenics2015 8y ago

look. What i'm doing works for me. She doesn't look at other men when shes with me and I don't talk to other girls when I am with her.

If she has desires, fine I have desires too but i will not be disrespected. This is simple and straight forward.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Can I ask how you would enforce that boundry? Thats sort of the moral of this story:

Yes rules and boundaries

Enforcement by removal of attention, fidelity,.commitment etc.

And show an unruffled, cocky side when doing it.

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Eugenics2015 8y ago

First time I saw her blatantly ogling at another guy I assumed an expression of disgust and surprise (not anger) and I told her; "Don't stare at men like that, it makes you look like a slut"

And that was the end of it.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Id have gone with

" he is cute. And mine. Hands off"

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squirestrat 8y ago

Either.. work. I guess? You both sound graceless tbh.

Different strokes for different folks.

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Eugenics2015 8y ago

I don't care what you think I sound like. Its not for you...im with a girl who likes dominant men.

Dafuq is wrong with you guys? DO YOU

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[deleted] 8y ago

GODDAMN THIS IS ON FUCKIGN POINT.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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Sir_Distic 8y ago

Read Cad's entire post. Then read it again. You'll get it.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

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VVictisVVdWVud 8y ago

this response that makes the most sense

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bertmaklinFBI 8y ago

1) Your reaction still shows that you are butthurt that she is considering going to a work outing.

2) If your frame is so good...why do you have an issue with your wife going out? Why does she have tingles for another man?

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[deleted] 8y ago

There is always "that guy"....today it's you!!!!!

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bertmaklinFBI 8y ago

The way you reacted is still mate guarding.... it's amazing that you can't recognize that....

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[deleted] 8y ago

You seem to think I would say this for any work event or girls night out. I wouldn't.

Specific guy that she shouldn't be drinking with....its a display of rules and boundaries and done in a non needy way.

A plate sure...next the ho.

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bertmaklinFBI 8y ago

I get your point. My line of thinking is this boundary should have been set from the beginning so that it never comes up (this may never have occurred though).

Essentially, why does your wife even think its ok to entertain the idea if this guy is persona non grata?

For instance, when we talk about the events/situations in other couple's lives my fiancee routinely comments "you would certainly never put up with that". She knows where the line in the sand is drawn from day one. Prevent the problem etc.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Well I didnt FIND this place at the beginning of the relationship......so my explanation is exactly what I did do when I woke up and my advice to those who dont know now.

I dont have to do this dance anymore

But many of the readers DO

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TRPhd 8y ago

Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

Good opportunity to bring up an open marriage. Read Blackdragonblog before you do, though.

Shit, if she can even see any man besides me, the LTR is on the downslope and it's time to look at other options.

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BaconEggsAndSleaze 8y ago

You should always look at other options, regardless if your LTR is on the up.

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Harry_Teak 8y ago

Shit, if she can even see any man besides me,

The guys who think their women can see only them are usually the ones being cucked.

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TRPhd 8y ago

I agree. If you think she can't see past you, you might get cucked, but if you are looking for her to look astray and see that she is only into you, well, that's a different story.

If you ever have a woman that far into you, that addicted to your cock, then you'll have a better idea of what it looks like.

I'm always on the lookout for competition, subtle signs, etc. They just aren't there. Either she's the best liar I've ever met, or she's unavailable to every other man she's met. It's both gratifying and also a bit unnerving; there's such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Besides, I don't live my life in fear of being cucked. The only way to avoid that with 100% certainty is MGTOW or plates-only. Those approaches don't work for me. If it happens, it happens; just move along to the next one. She's not mine, it's just my turn.

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Harry_Teak 8y ago

You're in the right frame of mind. Confidence is what separates the Chuck from the cuck. It's both the cure for that particular concern and the insurance against it. Invisible chains are often the strongest.

However, I wasn't referring to you specifically. Just pointing out that there's often a fine line between confidence and cluelessness.

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FLFTW16 8y ago

I agree with your approach. There comes a point where some guys are so terrified and obsessed with being cucked that they see it around every corner. They see it even when they don't see it. I wonder if they secretly want it and inject it into every scenario and project it onto others' situations because they can't deal with their own obsession with it.

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BaconEggsAndSleaze 8y ago

On the other hand, when you honestly don't care if they leave you - they never will want too.

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commentatorX 8y ago

Great post. Ever notice how whenever you check your phone (for a reason) your plate will, within 30 seconds, look at hers (for absolutely no reason).

All women attempt to dread, consciously or not. The best defence is to suppress your concern/hurt feelings/whatever and tease away. Nicely put.

Shit-eating grin: "You know he's only talking to you to get close to me, right..."

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twatbutter 8y ago

She needs to be the one mate-guarding, not you, in a LTR. If you see this sort of thing happening with her in the gym, simply start dread gaming to the max. If you're unmarried, break things off if this behavior continues.

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savoryprunes 8y ago

The branch-swinging metaphor really works well here. If you mate guard, you are demonstrating that you will support her no matter what. You are a reliable branch. If she's looking for a new branch to swing to, she knows she can always swing back to you if it doesn't work.

On the other hand, if you demonstrate that you are willing to cut her loose because she is looking to swing elsewhere, this will consume her thoughts. She may still entertain the idea of a new branch, but she won't risk both branches breaking and her falling to the ground (singlehood). She's much more likely to come back to you and ensure she's safe in her relationship (comfort test).

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CrazyHorseInvincible 8y ago

Point awarded by request of /u/theultmatecad.

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[deleted] 8y ago

I like this and am glad you showed me a different way to think about why mateguarding is so wrong.

Have a point

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Dustin_Bromain 8y ago

Excellent post. Recently, my LTR decided to call her ex-boyfriend right in front of me (they are both in the same friend group) and I politely waited for her to get off the phone; then proceeded to call my ex-hookup. Of course the girl answers, and my LTR freaks out and starts crying and apologizing for her short-sighted behavior. Tit for Tat bitch. Don't fucking disrespect me, or that'll be the last you see of me. I'm the one in control of this relationship.

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BannedBandit 8y ago

Instead of playing a game akin to workplace middle management women dramas you should dump the bitch.

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[deleted] 8y ago

If the bitch is doing something like that and you have to "teach her a lesson" like that, isnt the LTR doomed to failure anyway?

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Dustin_Bromain 8y ago

Like this sub says, women are only as shitty as you let them be. And I'm having none of that shit.

Also, it's always good to give that feelz wheel a spin every so often... Because as we all know, women don't necessarily want to feel good, they just want to feel.

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[deleted] 8y ago

women don't necessarily want to feel good, they just want to feel.

They want to feel all of the spectrum. That's why too much nice guy makes them go for the asshole and too much asshole makes them want a caring weakling.

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warjesus420 8y ago

Well....It makes them want to run and find an orbiter's shoulder to cry but definitely not want him.

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[deleted] 8y ago

You never keep in touch with an ex? Not constant communication but like, if you had a good friendship sometimes, well i, message them every now and then.

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Cashews4U 8y ago

I have learned that staying in touch with an ex has no benefit. Its like friend-zoning yourself except worse. She was actually fucking you at one point and you cut it off, whereas a friend zone never had the chance to smash.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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Evilence 8y ago

Do you mean that you only use those girls who wont shit test you for LTR? If so, where do you find these?

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[deleted] 8y ago

I just think that if she is trying your boundaries that hard, then she isn't LTR material. She recklessly did something she'd really hate to have it done to herself, and that's pretty damn malicious if you ask me. All girls will test you in some way or another but there's certain amount of turd i wont go through.

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warjesus420 8y ago

I still think it was a shit test, just that we all have different levels of shit tests we'll let her do.

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BowlOfCandy 8y ago

No. As a man you have to groom your woman. This means protecting her from herself (hypergamy), and also guiding her behavior into becoming something that inspires you.

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[deleted] 8y ago

But if she is recklessly doing something that she'd hate that much done to herself (as in the way the original comment im replying to makes it seem) then that's already pretty damn malicious, it's not a matter of setting boundaries but the fact that her nature is fucked up. I just see it as a big red flag.

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[deleted] 8y ago

People see too black and white here. Expect her to be a woman and her nose when she starts to act up. Then if she keeps doing it it's time to drop her, but you can't expect your 3 year LTR not to pull any shit.

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[deleted] 8y ago

you can't expect your 3 year LTR not to pull any shit.

I guess it depends on your turd-tolerance

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Drogba006 8y ago

No girl is under a 4 crazy. You deal with it

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Wel108 8y ago

Link on the crazy scale you speak of? Lol

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mrp_1844 8y ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjZIPClPR6I

And This: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=judmaktIxvY

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trpthrowaway2003 8y ago

[deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.5389

What is this?

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mrp_1844 8y ago

Good video and he never cracks a smile.

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trpthrowaway2003 8y ago

[deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7289

What is this?

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MRPguy 8y ago

So good. The shirt and tie with khakis really cap it off.

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princepeanutbutter 8y ago

Yes. Retaliation is a form of mate guarding. This whole post is idiotic.

If any of this shit happens you dump her. Most girls who get screened to LTR will not do this shit, they worked too hard for commitment.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Good to hear it from someone else.

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jb_trp 8y ago

This. You set boundaries and always be willing to walk away at a moments notice. You're not a child anymore; you don't have time for games. Your commitment is more valuable than hers, more valuable than any sex any woman could give you, more valuable than just about anything. If she doesn't value that and wants to play with fire, your best bet is to burn everything to the ground.

Don't put up with shitty behavior. Ever.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago

Agree. Set boundaries, (without.fucking.saying) and when they are crossed, just leave.

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DannyDemotta 8y ago

Nice strawman, dude. Simply label anything you want, any behavior at all, as "mate guarding" and then dismiss it

No wonder he's the EC and you're just the jackass making things up

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princepeanutbutter 8y ago

You dont know what strawman is. And accuse me of it with an ad hominem reply with an appeal to authoriyy. Funny

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DannyDemotta 8y ago

I didn't say you were wrong because he was an EC and you're not; I pointed out his status and your lack thereof, while pointing out your propensity for bullshitting.

You don't get to label anything you want - dread game, bodybuilding, etc - as "mate guarding" and therefore beta behaviors. You do not make these definitions and you sound stupid trying to do so.

Mate Guarding implies a Loss of frame, losing your temper, showing jealousy, lack of abundance mentality, and so on. There is nothing "beta" about demonstrating to a plate/LTR that you have options, that you aren't stuck with her and her alone.

You are a karma-whoring little shit with a weak grasp on TRP principles. Read the sidebar and STFU until you do.

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[deleted] 8y ago

you can go straight to dumping at the first sign, but it's going to have a lot of churn.

I wouldn't see a problem with a mulligan rule. Can't expect different from a girl, it's worked in the past so often. After you've made your boundary clear though, then it's playing for realsies

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fitnessacctasdf 8y ago

I'm fine with churn. I have:

a date with a new girl tonight.

a date with another new girl tomorrow night.

a date with another new girl saturday night.

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VeganRedPill 8y ago

Agreed. My current LTR displayed some red flags but never again has tries that shit as I set very real boundaries and punishments. A lot of these women have never has ANY guy with a strong frame and boundaries, so they don't understand how to submit until you lay down the law. Others are broken to the core permanently.

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TorboLeto 8y ago

How do you communicate to her your boundaries?

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VeganRedPill 8y ago

I mean I did it matter of factly. She was doing shit that was unacceptable and didn't even need explaining that it wasn't cool. I made a clear statement - that shit isn't tolerable. I explained that my reputation is important and that any girl I allow to be seen with me is not allowed to lower my standing. I stuck to that and I punished her by withdrawing my time and attention until she proved she could be trusted with it. If she didn't shape up, I was going to walk. And I didn't threaten her - that's weakness imo - I let my actions speak where my words won't suffice. There was of course attempts to blame shift to me (I caught her spying outside my door trying to listen to me and a friend because "I'm so secretive its my fault she doesn't know anything about me"). There was whining and complaining. You have to remain calm, keep it simple and focused, and don't let them change the subject or frame. If you ever see how Stefan Molyneaux keeps his callers on topic, it's similar to that.

Most red pillers would say blah blah blah red flag, cut ties, etc, but when a woman has never HAD a masculine authority worth a shit, you can't really expect them to know how to submit without some experience. Ultimately, treat women like humans, and you'd be surprised that when they drop the helpless retard act how competent they can be with good leadership.

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[deleted] 8y ago

The thing is, although i advocate OPs approach, it is basically just teaching her to flat out lie to you even more than usual.

Instead of saying "hot dude from the gym wants to hang out" shell just say "me n the girls, maybe some other people"

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[deleted] 8y ago

she will lie because children don't want to get in trouble, and she wants her reputation as good girl.

you don't judge, you don't call it out. you making and enforcing your boundaries has nothing to do with her, just act appropriately. Besides, lies like that aren't lies, it's how women communicate.

"maybe some other people" is about as loud a statement as one would need in that case to make a decision

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[deleted] 8y ago

I agree but women learn, eventually they wont make those statements either.

I guess it really depends what you're in the relationship for because short term you can squash that and thats the end of it, in the long term (if this is fairly early in the relationship cycle) you need her friends support and information supply before you can fully qwell that type of thing.

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Dustin_Bromain 8y ago

You made the right decision. Why even be in a relationship with that girl when you both clearly want to do your own thing? Although, it doesn't sound like your LTR was very strong to begin with, to be honest.

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Assassin1476 8y ago

Fuck yeah you did the right thing. What the guy's girl above who freaked out was level 1. Your girl tried to take it to level 2. The whole "if I talk to my ex and you talk to your ex, it's fine because we're both doing it so I'm not guilty of anything or being a whore" trick. That's lowkey manipulation on her end by trying to have her ex and you both at the same time without any guilt and hopefully getting you to do the same. Fuck that.

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[deleted] 8y ago

pretty clear cut. you tested what she values, she chose differently than you would.

incompatable

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robbiedigital001 8y ago

Good post, straight to the point.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

Your example sounds a bit toxic, where there is some kind of power struggle going on.

Theres always a power struggle in any relationship, even amongst friends. Thats kind of the whole point of TRP.

Anyway, it doesnt matter how much of a bitch he is, shes flat out telling you, to your face, that she still has options. She says "haha look at how much of a bitch this guy is" but what shes telling you is "haha this guy is soooo into me. Look how into me he is, hed do anything for me. So watch out... Haha"

This is basically the real life version of her playing out that beyonce song "irreplaceable" in her head as best she can without obviously trying to piss you off.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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DubbleFUPAwitCheez 8y ago

I have an ex-plate that I do this with. I wouldn't do it with my gf but that's because I already have a frame for her and it wouldn't fit. This situation imo can be interpreted in two ways. The way these other guys are saying or what I believe is the undercurrent of your mentality. Which is, she thinks so highly of you that being threatened by this guy is unthinkable in her mind.

The ex-plate I do this with makes fun of her current bf with me. If I grabbed her hand and took her to the bathroom to shove sausage in her mouth she wouldn't even hesitate. Your indifference game is looking strong. I wouldn't worry about it either if you have solid boundaries in other areas.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

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MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago

are different

Yeah, your girl must be a unicorn. AWALT.

If your girl isn't keeping back up options in your face, shes doing it quietly behind your back. They ALL do it in one way or another. You are either naive, blind, or think you have a unicorn, who defies women's hypergammy instincts.

My girl does all those you mentioned for me. She also keeps backups. Yours does too, or you just don't know about it.

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PrinceofSpades 8y ago

No, I think it's more evolving to a zero tolerance policy which you don't have yet. Granted, I'm sure some men on here dick off while their girl is flirting around at a social gathering, but if they are here that means they are trying to self-improve and change that behavior.

If I go with a plate to a party, and she were to start flirting with another guy, I'm going to leave that party with another girl and replace my plate on the spot. I'd do the exact same thing in an LTR, and have before with a girl I was with for ~a year. If we lived 100 years ago I would not have the balls or the ability to do this. The fact that I have this kind of dread game power is thanks entirely to feminism and technology. I'm eternally grateful. Women are easier than ever before and we have access to more of them than ever before.

The second she breaks a rule, she's gone. No second chances, no me responding to the barrage of texts and calls I'll get over the next few days to weeks. That girl is as good as dead to me, because I already have a new one that I found at said party. What's the point? The next lay is a right swipe and a few messages away. Not to mention, we live in the age of tinder: "plenty of other fish in the sea" has never been more true when we are all equipped with the AutoFisher3000 in our back fucking pocket. The fact that our ~~phones~~ AutoFisher3000s are also nice enough to tell us the time and let us educate ourselves from the Internet all at once from anywhere is truly mind-blowing.

The fact that you still even mutually date in this day and age shows a biological sign of insecurity: you're buying into the illusion of mediocrity and security while laughing about how your girl has other options that are just less than you. The second she finds an option better than you, you're now that ex boyfriend. And there is always someone better than you. We are lucky enough to live in a society for the first time in a very long time in history where we can run harems and not get scolded for it under the guises of equal rights and female empowerment. This concept allows men to disrespect women like never before because we can now fuck as much as we want without the commitment. I have infinitely more respect for the girl who is faithful and chaste and just wants to make a man happy then one who is trying her best to live life exactly like a man does. Your girlfriend is doing what men do: running dread game. It's just fucking horrible, because she's a woman trying to do something she isn't capable of.

There's a reason why fathers of girls used to have to pay a bachelor to take the girl off their hands. Commitment is not good for our biological imperative of spreading our seed far and wide and beating out the other men in the genetic line.

I don't care if your current girlfriend is a fucking model dude. The fact that you committed to any one girl in this day and age is actually laughable, because if you have a high enough SMV to pull that model (I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt in your choice of username), you could instead just be playing and plating 3+ girls of that caliber. Really as many as you want.

I love when women disrespect me; gives me the perfect excuse to go pull my next piece of ass in the next room. The girl who was sitting across the room eye-balling me because I walked in with a suit and a girl under my arm is pretty hot. Now she's the girl I'm walking out with because my current girl pissed me off while we were out having drinks, and the girl I'm leaving with couldn't be happier to be swept up in some other girl's drama. It makes them both feel like they are in a TV drama and they both get the feelz. Hell the girl I walked in with is probably fucking some other dude that night before bombarding my phone with a weeks worth of apologetic texts. Not. My. Problem.

Sure, it's a 'shame' that marriage and love are dead because women are no longer chaste and faithful; but if you're really looking for that, then go find an overseas Russian or Asian virgin 18-22 year old bride and enjoy not having to worry... As much. If I decide I want a child, that's what I'll do, and I'll condition her and educate her to be a good wife until I'm satisfied. But as for wasting even a single breath on commiting to a girl who's already given away the one thing she has which is more valuable than what I can do myself or get for myself at any time (her purity and commitment)... Yeah no thanks, I'll stick to treating women like the objects they've 'empowered' themselves into becoming.

As for me? I'm content cooking my own meals and cleaning my own place because I do a hell of a lot better job at both then any girl is capable of. And believe me, when a girl knows her only purpose is sex, it's a lot kinkier than anything going on in a steady relationship. Then again though, I imagine most guys on here don't have rope and toys and whatnot coming off their bed like I do either.

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MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago

I dont really get it, what's your point? Other than you will never get in a committed relationship and have zero tolerance of even the slightest amount of bullshit, no matter what the motive.

If that makes you happy, good for you.

Zero tolerance to ANY form of bullshit, not matter the motivation, is denying womens nature. There is always some bullshit, and if you don't know about it, it's behind your back. Saying there isnt is just NAWALT hamstering.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Not every interaction is a power struggle, most are but not all. But all interactions are an evaluation. There is no point that a woman wont start this type of bullshit.

Its her pumping up her value because shes scared and trying to put you down while doing it, which is active disrespect. If you ignore it, she doesnt manage to put you down, but it still pumps herself up.

According to psychological studies based on commercials, the more times you hear the same person say something to more likely you are to believe it, rather than the conventional the more people you hear from the more you believe it.

If she keeps telling herself she has higher value and you dont show her otherwise, shell believe it. Hell, shell probably believe it anyway but a man can only do some much to influence a womans mind

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

Theres blatant disrespect and theres smart disrespect. If she did this in front of her friends theyd all know whats up.

"Look at his dating profile"

Well now she and her friends know how to keep up with him and youve approved that theyre allowed to view it and engage with it.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

Its not about caring, you just have to actively show you dont care. You cant just be like "okay". Saying something like "why, you looking to get one?"

Loads of implications for her to hamster around the feelercoaster, disregards the dude, and demonstrates apathy

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[deleted] 8y ago

What's the point of being in a monogamous LTR if you don't care? I'm asking myself loudly here because I was able to reach that point and I am not seeing why the fuck shouldn't I go out and approach girls again.

Then when I start slaying here and there what's the point of the LTR agian?

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RPsage 8y ago

Good point.

Girls, solipsistic by nature, attempt to be more attractive by doing what a man would do, one they find attractive.

Either way, caring about little shit in an LTR shows insecurity on the male. There's a fine line between boundaries and insecurity.

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warjesus420 8y ago

It's incredible how the second you lightly push back with a little "taste of your own medicine" they cough, choke, and die. Like bitch....the fuck did you think was going to happen? If you don't like it then....Sigh there I go trying to rationalize a woman's behavior again. At least I'm catching myself and stopping now.

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MattyAnon Admin 8y ago

It's incredible how the second you lightly push back

These hos are so spoiled... so entitled... most men so whippped... they don't see it coming.

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Dustin_Bromain 8y ago

Yeah, exactly. Women have no frame, but love prodding our frame for potential weaknesses.

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[deleted] 8y ago

It's called making the hamster work for you

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IGoYouStayTwoAutumns 8y ago

It's almost like they're teenagers, testing your parental boundaries--hmm...

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warjesus420 8y ago

That was definitely a good read. I assume you're referencing "Biggest Teenager in The House" (Is that the name of the chapter?)

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Paid_Internet_Troll 8y ago

Like bitch....the fuck did you think was going to happen?

She didn't know for sure that you wouldn't fold like a bitch, so she was poking the bear to see what would happen.

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warjesus420 8y ago

Oh it's absolutely a shit test but as I said later in the post I was going through her actions logically wondering why anyone wouldn't expect the same thing in return. Which is when I remembered they don't do that.

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Paid_Internet_Troll 8y ago

Oh it's absolutely a shit test but as I said later in the post I was going through her actions logically wondering why anyone wouldn't expect the same thing in return. Which is when I remembered they don't do that.

Because, logically, men don't generally feel the need to shit-test their women, and most men are lousy at setting boundaries... so the idea that a man would shit-test her or call her out on her actions is pretty unexpected.

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warjesus420 8y ago

Oh I understand that we don't test them, I guess I saw it as a decent response to one but I'm still getting the hang of shit tests and the best way to respond. I've been here a decent amount of time now but mostly just been working on getting in shape, finding hobbies, and other self-improvement and haven't devoted a lot of time to shit tests yet so I have no doubt I could be totally wrong.

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[deleted] 8y ago

i once dated this crazy girl who was plotting on cheating yet would go thru my phone etc. one day when she was going thru my phone, i asked if i could go thru her phone and she BLEW UP. got ultra defensive and angry. lolz stupid hoe.

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icecow 8y ago

lolz. Then she continued to go through your phone and you never tried to look at hers again?

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[deleted] 8y ago

na i ended up leaving her in the cab and jumped in another cab #adios

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warjesus420 8y ago

I can tell an almost verbatim story myself but she was cough "smart" and deleted every text ever in her phone always. I was never terribly BP but def much more of a bitch than I am now and just took the constant nonsense about "You're definitely gonna cheat" that she would spew all the time. It always made me sketch since all my friends would say "If a person is constantly concerned about you cheating; then they're cheating." Lo and behold, she sure as shit did.

Funny thing though I'm actually glad about it since that was what eventually led me here.

Edit:I should say by that time I was less BP than I used to be. In HS? Ugh the whole nine-yards lol.

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Dustin_Bromain 8y ago

This. LTR begged me to delete my ex-hookup's number. I was like... nahhhh. I'mma keep that shit in my phone for that good ol' dread game ~

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[deleted] 8y ago

Yeah. My girl commented on a business meeting I went to, how most of the pics are with women.

And i quote metalageddon: what's rule number 1?

Her you decide on you I decide my involvement. I'm sorry metal it just makes me feel jealous.

That's a good girl. Get back in line.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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[deleted] 8y ago

No clue. I think its a good rule. It's worked for me with most of my girls over a decade.

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YouDislikeMyOpinion 8y ago

19 downvotes, 0 criticism in the form of worded replies.

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[deleted] 8y ago

This us the state of trp. I look forward to the upcoming (likely) exodus.

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trpftw 8y ago

This is good. I wonder if there's two ways about it.

If you ignore it then you show her that this tactic won't work. Or if you do something similar then you show how her tactic can backfire.

Both could work right?

I mean essentially, it's their childish naive tactic of trying to "control" you. They expect you to get mad so they can make a demand...

What I try to do is incentivize good behavior. Like training a puppy. Want me to do something, you have to sweet talk me or get sexy that's the only way I cave. After a while they realize the only way to get me to cave is to reward me.

Look guys, I'm not trying to compare women to dogs... I'm just saying there's a reason humans and dogs evolved together. I train emotional pussy men like dogs too.

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marty2k 8y ago

This is the difference between stoic alpha and dark triad Machiavellian, as far as I see it. A dark triad man will respond to a woman's manipulation with manipulation of his own. A stoic alpha will ignore unless he considers it enough to leave, and if so he will. It really comes down to your goals and style which to use.

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warjesus420 8y ago

Operand conditioning is a real thing, it's pretty basic psychology but it does work on people too.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Ignoring doesnt work, she just thinks you dont understand whats going on, so she has a great opportunity to cheat or at least vet him for branch swinging, or that it really bothers you so you wont talk about it.

Lose lose for you

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KyfhoMyoba 8y ago

Ignoring doesnt work, she just thinks you dont understand whats going on, so she has a great opportunity to cheat or at least vet him for branch swinging, or that it really bothers you so you wont talk about it.

Cue soundtrack to "Plausible Deniability."

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Assassin1476 8y ago

Ignoring works extremely well. Bitches would rather have you scream, curse them out and possibly have you put your hands on them in a violent manner than you straight up ignore them. It's like a fire without oxygen, their emotions can't self substain themselves for long without you giving them anything to keep them going.

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[deleted] 8y ago

In most cases i agree but hmasters gonna hamster and theyll just spin it until its really that youre pissed off about it so theyll keep doing it until you crack.

Thats why it doesnt work with bullies, they didnt get a reaction so theyll push even harder until you actually do something

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Assassin1476 8y ago

That's why you have to carry that mantra 'walk softly and carry a big stick.' Bullies will fuck with you until you do something in terms of action that will get them to stop or know that you're not to be fucked with; the same must be done with women. If a girl is on some bullshit I usually don't say nothing and either proceed to drop her off at home, tell her to leave, go radio silent or do something extremely passive-aggressive to piss them off and get them to stop or just drop them out of my life.

I won't let a woman get me to the point of being pissed off and get whatever reaction out of me they're aiming for so I will usually do something by then and thwart their plan. I never say what I'm gonna do or ever argue which makes them extremely upset because I'm not playing their game. Silence and the fear of the unknown keeps them in check most of the time.

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[deleted] 8y ago

I usually poke fun at them while letting them know I know the shit they're pullin. If they do it again I droppem.

Just not worth my time

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trpftw 8y ago

Then their hamster will spin regardless of your actions and you're gonna get cheated on no matter what you do.

So that's not a scenario worth considering.

You voided your own argument. If the hamster is willing to spin without input, then she was always going to cheat on you.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Eh, its easier for them to hamster wheel on nothing than something.

And its not a foregone conclusion just a likely possibility that you can easily avoid with a different approach

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trpftw 8y ago

I do agree that there may be better approaches, but I can't imagine ignoring being the worst choice. I think it's at least a mediocre choice.

I think reverse psychology and straight-forward logical responses are usually better.

I think the worst choice is to make insecure jokes or attempts to encourage it to fake abundance.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Hmmm now im rethinking what id do personally.

Because my jokes are used to point out that i know whats going on, but dont take it seriously enough to warrant a serious response

But now im thinking of this in the sense that its insecure and not sure if thats how it comes across

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RPAlternate42 8y ago

Not fully ignore... But not make a big deal.

My wife told me about how a guy cold approached her and gave her his number. Whether she did it because it's an amusing anecdote or she thinks that dread works both ways doesn't matter.

I said, "aw, that's nice. Did you call him?"

Any response afterwards doesn't matter. I simply acknowledged her story, and made light of it.

Then, last night, she told me about how she noticed she was definitely "fresh meat" at a gym she had to use a guest pass at (she's on jury duty and needs to fit in gym time in another town).

"Look at you! Dudes at the gym... Dudes on the street... You're just making your way in the world!"

Once again: acknowledge, call-back (from the previous story) and make light of it.

Amused Mastery: everything she says is cute and adorable and inconsequential to me.

What she does is a different story.

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trpftw 8y ago

I don't think that will work at all.

I've seen quite a few posts where a girl complains that her boyfriend jokes/makes-light-of some guy friends etc. and that she is annoyed by it. In a way where she is acting more and more bitchy to the boyfriend.

Part of the reason women tell you about "some other guy" is to either make you dread, control/manipulate your actions, or to test you to see if you're actually in love with her.

This test, could backfire if you don't care. If you don't care, then she realizes that you don't really care for her.

She knows damn well she can parry off "guy flirts" or whatever on her own. She doesn't need your help or "mate-guarding" but she wants to see it as a show of "posessiveness". She wants to know you "want" and "need" her. She wants comfort/assurances.

One girl I knew would constantly constantly test me and ask me things that are basically revolving around a theme of "do you really love me?" (in not so many words). I didn't joke about it or dismiss it. I simply said "yes" and gave her the comfort she needed. Even later when I dumped her for alcoholism/anger-issues, she kept coming back begging. She sent cute cards and things expressing her love. What I had done, is I did show some amount of possessiveness, some small amount of jealousy, some small amount of reassurance of caring/love. I think the mistake people make is they overdo it.

The mistake people make in bluepill:::: is to make her comfortable. Make her think she can never lose you. Make her think you are 100% committed. No but 0% committed and constant amused mastery could backfire too.

I wouldn't wholly dismiss your method RPAlternate (I upvoted you regardless), because you could be the one who is right, and I could be totally wrong. But you have to consider my theory on this too.

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FrameWalker 8y ago

She wants to know you "want" and "need" her. She wants comfort/assurances.

Comfort tests are still power struggles. She feels insecure, and she wants to gain the upper hand. If you can make it so that you make her feel special without losing ground that's a much better way to deal with the comfort test. Giving up power is failing the comfort test.

I have a two pronged approach to comfort tests. Give the girl full undivided attention and let her know that she's treating me well and if she continues to do so I'll stick around

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trpftw 8y ago

Yes absolutely. Always use operant conditioning.

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enfier 8y ago

Don't reward crappy comfort tests. Give comfort in response to behavior you want, not behavior you don't want. Eventually when your wife/girlfriend wants some comfort she'll bring out the behavior that you enjoy.

I'm not saying you shouldn't give comfort, but had you given your ex-gf comfort every time she gave you a BJ, she'd be calling you up asking if she could blow you instead of sending a cute card.

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trpftw 8y ago

Yes absolutely.

I got a blowjob along with the cards actually from my ex.

I do comfort her during/after sex.

I didn't comfort her for bad behavior. But I did show anger/possessiveness when she did semi-bad behavior. To show there are consequences for her actions. It wasn't comforting. I didn't comfort her. I did reassure her that I loved her but only when she was questioning it outright and blatantly.

Some girls will not stick around if you blatantly dismiss/refuse to acknowledge some form of love.

I didn't reward any repeated demands for expressions of love. You don't get to make demands in exchange for reassurances of love.

Did I act perfectly? Probably not. I'm sure I made some mistakes. But they were quite minor compared to her mistakes.

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RPAlternate42 8y ago

Your example was in terms of "guy friends." My examples were randos she doesn't know.

Do I care about her? Of course. Do I care if I "lose" her? I won't lose my mind over it, but there would be some moments of a normal amount of human depression.

More importantly, am I concerned about losing her... Especially to some randos? Absolutely not. These guys would need to be more ingrained in her life for me to have any considerable level of concern. At that point I simply turn up the SGM "DE" and remind her that I own that pussy.

I'm not going to be jealous or even show it in the classic sense... I'll just give her what she wants: uber tingles. This is why we should never always have the tingle makers turned all the way up. This way I can always pull out some stops that make her go... holy shit, that's right... THAT'S my man... I'm so lucky!

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trpftw 8y ago

Your example was in terms of "guy friends." My examples were randos she doesn't know.

Now it all makes sense. Our theories both work then.

I'll just give her what she wants: uber tingles. This is why we should never always have the tingle makers turned all the way up. This way I can always pull out some stops that make her go... holy shit, that's right... THAT'S my man... I'm so lucky!

Great advice.

I've implemented this strategy and it has worked well with hot girls. I turn it down a lot... then I turn it up... Never a consistency, and always surprises.

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RPAlternate42 8y ago

As much as TRP would like to circle jerk about it, women aren't interchangeable anymore than men are; they all have individual personalities dictated by genetics, lifetime experiences, cultural backgrounds, and family raising. Not one strategy will work on all women all the time, but that strategy will work on all women enough of the time to allow you to understand how to tailor that strategy specific to them.

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rpscrote 8y ago

My life will not be radically different because I alone direct my life, and any woman is a hanger on. In this sense women are 100% interchangeable.

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DforDeadpool 8y ago

Want to see your ex boyfriends? That's cool, I'll start seeing other people too.

Wanna workout with StealYourBitch Jones from the gym? I'll see that and raise by having three hour lunch with Jodi from marketing. The one you know wants my D..yup...her.

That's something a beta cannot. Because he wouldn't have options. It's natural for an alpha. I learned and still learning so much here.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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KartagoPill 8y ago

Women get attention for facebook and other places all the time.

Internet changed world into one village so she can pick cocks she wants.

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razometer 8y ago

So find a better girl. Remember, she's not yours, it's just your turn.

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menial_optimist 8y ago

As long as she isn't living at your place lol

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MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago

At the start of my RP journey, I started improving myself, then ditched my ex gf, because I knew I could get much better.

I now got a better girlfriend, but since I continued improving myself in all areas, I know I am more valuable. I love my girlfriend, but I know if she breaks up with me, or cheats, or does anything that causes a split, it will be her loss, and I will be able to move on to something better.

This mentality always comes from CONSTANTLY improving, so if you stay in a relationship for any period of time, you become more and more out of her league anyway.

Don't mate guard, just improve yourself, dread will automatically come. My girlfriend is constantly telling me of dreams about me breaking up with her, or scared that I will leave her, I get comfort tests all the time. I am pretty sure i'm the love of her life - sometimes you throw her a bone, sometimes you ignore them, it just makes the attraction stronger. This is what happens when you keep improving, don't ever get complacent. Elevate!

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DaphneDK 8y ago

Read a thread somewhere about a guy who had put his girlfriend in a chastity belt. Apparently they have some new ones which are more comfortable, not like the Medieval iron ones. I wonder if this falls under some kind of ultimate mate guarding.

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bluedrygrass 8y ago

not like the Medieval iron ones.

The medieval ones didn't exist anyway. Almost all of them are modern day replicas. They're a projection of modern times on "those dark retarded ages".

The society was the chastity belt back then, only few ones were used as an anti-rape measure in invasion times.

Like the ius primae noctis, it's all bullshits.

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dat_mean_no_work 8y ago

Well she can still give head.

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[deleted] 8y ago

This is why you need to keep girls on the line. She's going to keep her beta orbiters, and when a man comes out of the woodwork who she actually sees as a potential branch to swing to, you'd better have an attractive woman waiting in the wings. Nothing looks more pathetic to her than a man who couldn't get another woman.

The best defense against a potential affair is hard dread game.

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[deleted] 8y ago

Confronting a guy about making moves on your woman is a bitch move, especially if you say nothing to her about it. That's always between you and her.

The way I see it, if a woman wants to branch swing, the other dude can have her disloyal ass. The only reason I'm talking to the other guy is to make it clear to him that I have a no return policy.

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marty2k 8y ago

You are very right, but it is your job to step in if a guy is hitting on her and she is clearly not having it. Most women are to nice to say "fuck off, asshole", but as long as she mentions she spoken for and doesn't flirt back it's your job to break it up.

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Cashews4U 8y ago

On the otherhand, you can fuck with the other dude by coming up and squeezing her ass while looking at him dead in the eyes.

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trp_dude 8y ago

In general, that's true. However, there are some exceptions and these exceptions are really important.

First instance is if your GF is basically being harassed. The dude won't leave her alone and keeps talking to her and she's told him off. Then you've got to step in or you look like you're not protecting her. No protection = not alpha.

Second instance is when the guy is being so vulgar that it's insulting. Maybe insinuating that your GF is a slut, etc. That's an insult to her and to you. Once again, you need to defend her.

Note the key here - are you defending her, or are you being insecure?

By the way, there is no loyal or disloyal. If your SMV is high enough, then she'll stay with you, and if not no. It's just a law of nature, not a moral issue.

The third instance, and some will disagree, is when the dude is your friend. In that case, he's disrespecting you and you have an issue with him, not with your GF.

Now, if you're married, the threshold for all these are a bit lower. Your wife will take your lack of intervention as weakness at a lower threshold than a GF would. If a GF got pinched in the ass by some dude and you laughed, that might be one thing. If your wife got pinched in the ass in front of you and you didn't do anything, that screams beta.

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YouDislikeMyOpinion 8y ago

Did the guy wrong me?

If not, the girl can deal with it. I can still do whatever I want for entertainment value.

If he did wrong me, I deal with the issue I have with him.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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Tom_The_Human 8y ago

I agree - the best thing to do when some guy's hitting on your girl in front of you is to freeze him out of the conversation.

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Assassin1476 8y ago

Exactly. Grabbing the ass thing is pushing the line on the dissrespect level and as a man you have to do something about that. It doesn't even have to be about defending your girls honor or defending the love of your life, its about the clear lack of respect from one man another. Simple as that.

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[deleted] 8y ago

What you described, grabbing her ass with you there, is more like an assault. Of course you'll do something.

What if you're at a party and a dude flirts with your girl, which is more like the example in the story. If she doesn't flirt back, then great. No harm, no foul. You move on. Confronting the guy who flirted would make you appear to be an insecure beta.

If she flirts back, then you deal with her directly and not the guy who flirted.

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Sementeries 8y ago

Never understood why dudes wanted to fight a random dude who fucked your girlfriend. Just dump the wench, and maybe fuck her friends if you're feeling spiteful.

Maybe befriend that guy and laugh at her telling eachother you're Eskimo bros now.

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Assassin1476 8y ago

I don't either. Men are gonna do what they're gonna do, it's not their fault. Women who are in a relationship know what the deal is and if they break that deal, fuck em. On to the next.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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NiceKicksGabe 8y ago

I wouldn't congratulate the guy, but I'm not about to go blow for blow with some asshole over some pussy.

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Clint_Redwood 8y ago

Confronting the guy who flirted would make you appear to be an insecure beta.

I have a long time friend that has this chick since elementary school. This dude is a cop and fairly well built, but go damn is he fucking insecure. He does this shit constantly, with anyone that even looks at his chick wrong, even to girls. One of my plates walked by her once and slapped her ass, he freaked the fuck out. Like really dude? Your afraid of a chick, that I'm seeing, is going to steal your girl with an ass slap?

What's funny is if you dive into it. His subconscious is actually so emasculated that it is truly scared that a woman could steal away his girl because he's so fucking insecure. He does it instinctively, like ass slap, boom in your face within .5 seconds. 0-100. No thought into it, just pure instinct and insecurity.

It's fucking cringe worthy. When he does it, people around him visibly draw back and their repulsion is blatantly obvious for everyone but him. She cheats on him constantly and can stand being around him. But, they've in love since high school.

I have no idea why she hasn't branch swung yet.

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NiceKicksGabe 8y ago

What's funny is, that's what outsiders think Red pill/alpha dudes are like, when in actuality, we don't give a fuck.

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Eugenics2015 8y ago

I dont like bisexual/lesbian bitches whatsoever i dont blame him for not liking that.

If my girl does some gay shit I am Gooooone.

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[deleted] 8y ago

[deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^0.7255

What is this?

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Clint_Redwood 8y ago

I do. She's a star fish in bed, but she's really hot so she gets alphas. Then they have sex and never talk to her again cause she's a starfish in bed and they can find way better fucks.

Sad tragedy really, cruel twist of nature.

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sqerl 8y ago

Describes my ex... my problem was staying longer than your standard alpha. On the bright side, I left too.

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Invalidity 8y ago

If a girl doesn't want a guy touching her ass, she will say something. If she's not saying anything, it's not because she's afraid of the guy, it's because she doesn't mind or enjoys it.

A guy should never mateguard for any reason. His girlfriend is capable of handling her own shit, simply by calling out other guys. If she doesn't do it herself, you can bet your ass she is allowing it to happen.

The only time a guy should ever step in to defend his girl is when she has been involuntarily put in a position where she could be in danger. If at first she tries to call the other guy out, and it doesn't work and he becomes more violent and aggressive, that is when her partner should intervene. And only then.

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sqerl 8y ago

...girlfriend is capable of handling her own shit, simply by calling out other guys. If she doesn't do it herself, you can bet your ass she is allowing it to happen.

^this^ this is the shit you should be watching. It's a covert way to have her cake and eat it too. And sends the message that you aren't giving her the tingles.

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throwwwwwaw 8y ago

What about when you're first picking up a chick?

Example: talking to a chick in a club, it's "on"... Later when you're with another group you see another guy making a move on her, and she's kinda compliant too. Should you come in and "mate guard"/amog here or should you allow him to make more progress, potentially losing her?

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Invalidity 8y ago

She doesn't have any obligation to you because she's not yours. Even if we were to say that mateguarding was situationally acceptable, that would NOT be one of those situations. At all.

Just because a girl is getting closer to a guy, does not mean that he's going to be taking her home that night. The deal is not closed until she's out the door.

And besides, if you were making progress with a girl, she'd be all on you, and not wandering around... unless you decided to wander around (which you should).

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throwwwwwaw 8y ago

I didn't mean coming back and shouting "get off my girl" like you're already attached to her... I meant should you come back to try to stop the other guy from progressing more? If yes what would be the best way to do that?

Coming back could be seen as needy by the girl but the alternative could be the other guy getting her, she might be down to fuck either one.

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Invalidity 8y ago

If you try and cockblock the guy, you may end up just taking him down with you, or you'd drive her more towards him. In my experience, the only time I've seen cockblocking ever work is when the girl was already set on going home with the original guy. Cockblocking is NEVER a good idea.

So to answer your question, there is no best way to do that.

The correct solution is for you to bounce around to other girls. Girls are keen, if they still believe you're the superior choice, they will find you one way or another.

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trpftw 8y ago

Basically, I just talk to the guy if he hits on my women... First I check to see if he'll just realize "oh ur with her... ok i'll back off." And surprisingly, men are very respectful and nice about it, even if they are taller or bigger than you. Some of them even got scared for no reason.

The only type of guys I confront are beta male orbiters that try to "hang around" too much. These kinds of men are pathetic and weak and they need to be taught a lesson and get yelled at a bit for being dumb. I flat out tell them "what you think she's gonna come running to you and ask you for sex because she got angry at me?" It really shocks them because they can't believe their secret plan is discovered. Then they pretend that they were just "friends" with no "sexual interests at all", but in reality when you listen to such beta males talk, it's pretty clear, they're not friends, they're just pretending to be friends for the potential hope of sex. They usually have like nothing in common with the girl they orbit. They're slaves.

If a guy at a bar hits on your girl and is not just gonna go away on their own (sometimes they're very nice and will go away), then let him continue and see if this girl is disloyal. Then I just confront her about it and dump her, which is what I did with a few of these girls (not because they cheated or anything, but because they acted like as if some random man was worth talking to in a flirty manner or whatever, even when I'm there... like what is wrong with these girls...)

I really don't understand these kinds of girls, like, if I stare at a hot blond girl for more than a second with her, they get mad, but they wanna talk to some random hot guy and not get dumped? I have yet to go and straight up start flirting with a hot girl in front of a current girl. Why can't they show the same respect?

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[deleted] 8y ago

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NiceKicksGabe 8y ago

My ex wouldn't dare flirt with a guy in my presence, because she knew that she'd be pissed if I did the same.

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trpftw 8y ago

And one thing I learned in the past is: you should flirt with girls if she flirts with any man.

I assumed one girl would not do this again, because "well how would you like it if i flirted with some hot blond?" No don't assume. She doesn't realize what she's doing. She doesn't see this as disrespect. You need to teach her a lesson first and confront her as soon as it happens.

Don't let it slide. Don't pretend it doesn't exist. Don't ignore it as a "oh she's just talking to someone for a bit". No, be much more aggressive is what I learned. You confront her or you flirt in front of her as revenge, or you downgrade her to plate, or you dump her.

Doing "jokes" or telling her in a non-consequential manner, won't help. There must be punishment.

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[deleted] 8y ago

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trpftw 8y ago

Buddy listen, even shitty weak betas can get lucky. They'll be there hugging your girlfriend after a fight and comforting her. Telling her what an asshole you are and how they deserve better. It's typical beta tactics.

If beta tactics never worked, they wouldn't exist. It does work, just way more rarely.

Do you wanna know what happened after I yelled at a beta in front of the girl? The beta guy would leave and never talk to her again because of fear of confrontation with me. She felt incredibly horny with me after too as I proved what a pussy that beta is. The beta went all crazy and accused the girl of being nuts and accusing me of various "douchebaggery".

Confronting someone is acknowledging they are a threat.

A lion confronts a deer so therefore the lion acknowledges they are a threat? Nope. The lion is just hunting.

Obviously what I did is risky. If the deer turns out to be a bigger lion in disguise, you might look bad and give him the perfect chance to go up in value. So if you challenge or confront someone, you better win the confrontation. That's alpha behavior.

Interestingly, the beta I confronted did go to the gym and was bigger than me but I knew he was a pussy and any good feelings the girl may have felt for this beta went out the window when he was yelling "im not afraid of you!!"

If there had been a violent fight, that would have sucked, but I was prepared for anything. And you have to be willing to fight for things, this beta was clearly in the wrong and trespassing on my territory.

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max_peenor 8y ago

God tier AF is when the orbiters enable her hookups with you.

"Hey, can you pick Max up at the airport and drop him off at my place? He will let himself in. You are such an awesome friend."

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MoneyStatusLooks 8y ago

I've had this before. Had one of her beta orbiters go shopping for one of our parties, gave him a shopping list and money, and he came back with everything. We were "setting up" for the party, which was mostly moving a bit of furniture, then having sex.

What a good beta! haha

1

vandaalen 8y ago

Dropping a girl for flirting and being charming is an idiot move and screams insecurity as loud as mate-guarding.

Any woman of value who is able to raise your social value will also be good at flirting and will be charming.

Imagine she is meeting your boss or your best client at a diner party. What would you want her to behave like?

Words do mean nothing. Actions do.

The correct response for if she is flirting with the “wrong“ guy is some dread and not going nuclear.

7

Tom_The_Human 8y ago

Imagine she is meeting your boss or your best client at a diner party. What would you want her to behave like?

There's a part in either the second or third season of Mad Men that comes to mind. In it, Don tells his wife to flirt with one of his biggest clients in an attempt to get the guy to stay with Don's company.

1

[deleted]

sqerl 8y ago

Dropping a girl for flirting and being charming is an idiot move and screams insecurity as loud as mate-guarding.

Words do mean nothing. Actions do.

The correct response for if she is flirting with the “wrong“ guy is some dread and not going nuclear.

I dunno man. I disagree. As someone else mentioned:

Jealousy and mate-guarding are just more signs that she has you. And once she has you, you get relegated to the back of the mind, and she, in one way or another, seeks someone new to stimulate and excite her.

There has to be a balance between "respect" and "let her flirt with anyone/everyone because I'm an idiot if I don't let her". I don't think any man with value would tolerate that shit beyond a reasonable amount.

My case study: ex was always on my arm when we were together. Whenever she was out on her own, she never mentioned she had a BF and would welcome any random guy that hit on her. She needed her feelz validated and could never be alone. Gotta watch for those behaviors man. Not going to rationalize their behaviors away.

13

vandaalen 8y ago

There has to be a balance between "respect" and "let her flirt with anyone/everyone because I'm an idiot if I don't let her".

Of course there has to. It's about intention. As you mention further down, a woman seeking attention from other guys and therefor flirting with them is damaged goods. On the other hand, a woman just being naturally flirting, because she is confident and just a charming person overall is a whole other issue.

There is also flirting and there is flirting. It can be done in many different ways and nuances and obviously being a cheap basc bitch is just one of them.

However you fucked up long before, in particular when you made your decision to promote this girl to commited relationship, if she is behaving like this.

4

sqerl 8y ago

However you fucked up long before, in particular when you made your decision to promote this girl to commited relationship, if she is behaving like this.

^This^ when I got involved with her, it was at the lowest point in my life. i.e. thirty beta. Then NMMNG and TRP got my full attention. The whole relationship blew up as I tried to switch the power dynamic only to realize I had no business being involved with her as anything more than a plate. Lesson learned; monk mode..... thanks for the feedback - spot on.

1

trpftw 8y ago

Dropping a girl for flirting and being charming is an idiot move and screams insecurity

No. Dumping is never insecurity, it's security. You have abundance mentality. You have options. You don't tolerate disrespect and bullshit drama, or flirting girls. An insecure man only gives empty-bluff ultimatums, a secure man, has no qualms about dumping a dumb disloyal bitch.

And it wasn't the "first time", and I did confront her about it as a warning the first time. So it's not like she was just "naturally charming". She wasn't "naturally" charming, she was just being gamed by the guy and continuing the conversation like an idiot. Like as if it's going to lead to somewhere.

If you have to dread a girl to have her be with you, then you reek of insecurity and desperation. Why do you have to work hard to keep a girl? A girl should already be loyal to you. A girl who isn't loyal, does not get LTR status. They get downgraded or dumped.

Do I flirt with the hot blond chick at the bar, in front of my girlfriend? No. I expect the same fucking respect.

And when I dump her over it. The results are fantastic. She comes begging and apologizing and crying. Bribing me with gifts but I've already downgraded her in my eyes. You don't disrespect people like that.

And if you think I'm being mean, even an old school alpha who has NEVER been to TRP, told me to dump that girl a while back.

Words do mean nothing. Actions do.

Nonsense. Words and beliefs lead to actions.

Imagine she is meeting your boss or your best client at a diner party

That's different. She was talking to random idiots at a bar.

2

vandaalen 8y ago

She was talking to random idiots at a bar.

So you fucked up when you chose to promote her to commited relationship material. A woman who engages in such a behaviour shouldn't be more than a plate in the first place.

And when I dump her over it. The results are fantastic. She comes begging and apologizing and crying.

The fact that you masturbate to this screams insecurity yet even louder.

0

trpftw 8y ago

A woman who engages in such a behaviour shouldn't be more than a plate in the first place.

She wasn't doing this before she was promoted.

And it resulted in her getting demoted.

You can't know the future. You can't know what kind of woman she becomes. So you really can't blame me just because she seemed like an honest, loyal, loving person.

The fact that you masturbate to this screams insecurity yet even louder.

....... I didn't. That's not insecurity. Do you even know what that means?

I was secure in losing her. I was FINE with her not coming back. That's abundance mentality. I didn't expect what she would do.

2

enfier 8y ago

I really don't understand these kinds of girls, like, if I stare at a hot blond girl for more than a second with her, they get mad, but they wanna talk to some random hot guy and not get dumped? I have yet to go and straight up start flirting with a hot girl in front of a current girl. Why can't they show the same respect?

It's about power. Getting mad about the hot blond puts your balls back in her purse. Then she talks to some hot guy to get you riled up, fun reaction time. She yanks your chain around all over the place because it's fun and she can do it. That's all it's about. Fun and power.

Next time she gets mad about the hot blond, go introduce yourself to her. Hell, most girls can read the subtext just fine and will actively play along in getting your girlfriend riled up. If she's talking to some random hot guy, wait until she's distracted and just disappear.

1

trpftw 8y ago

Again you don't want to be with a woman who plays power games like that.

You're either the man, or she's trying to compete with you in dominance. Fuck that.

I don't think it's bad of her to get a little angry if I stared at a hot blond. I don't think that deserves punishment.

She deserves punishment if she goes and talks to a hot random guy.

1

enfier 8y ago

Opting out of the game is less fun than learning to win the game. let's face it, women do these things because it works on other guys. When it doesn't work on you, she'll be intrigued.

Let's think for a minute about her getting angry when you look at another woman. She knows that you are attracted and that you want to look. Yet she wants you to take that part of yourself and stuff it way down and pretend. I feel like that Patrice O'Neal quote "Shortcuts to pussy are long cuts to life."

You also have some sort of idea that your "punishment" is effective. Let me tell you, a negative reaction is just as rewarding as a positive reaction.

1

trpftw 8y ago

Yes if you play along and stop looking, I didn't stop looking, I just said she got mad, and I don't think she deserves punishment for it. I didn't say I stopped.

A negative reaction like getting dumped, I don't think that was her intention. That's what happened.

I can see how, if she talked to some random hot guys, and you got mad at her and didn't make her suffer for it, then you're right, that's not effective punishment. Maybe that's the reaction she was hoping for.

But do you want to be with someone who is looking for your negative reactions?

And what does it accomplish really? Why would a woman want a negative reaction from you? Sadistic pleasure?

1

enfier 8y ago

To an insecure person, a negative reaction is at least a reaction. You might be mad, but she knows you still care. If you read any parenting book it will tell you that negative reactions reward a behavior. If your kid wants attention and can't get it, they'll resort to bad behavior. The same is true of adults.

If you woman is looking for a negative reaction, it's better to ignore and then guide her to how to get the positive reaction she craves. You can't control the behavior, but you can control your location. You just walk away and now she's going to have to follow you if she wants any comfort. The key is no reaction, you can't come across butthurt either.

I understand your choice to not play the game, but you'll be dealing with this game at some level or another in nearly every relationship. Why not stick around and learn how to play the hand you were given?

1

trpftw 8y ago

If you read any parenting book it will tell you that negative reactions reward a behavior. If your kid wants attention and can't get it, they'll resort to bad behavior.

Only if they weren't getting attention in the first place.

If you're giving your girl or child, good attention and then you reward (elevated positive response) good behavior, and then you punish (elevated negative response) bad behavior, then you will see good results.

it's better to ignore and then guide her to how to get the positive reaction she craves.

Yes. That is one way.

Another is to punish and show a negative response, because she is NOT expecting or desiring a negative response.

You can't control the behavior

I disagree. Everyone can be manipulated in many ways unless they are very stubborn or see you as opposition.

you can't come across butthurt either.

Being butthurt and then wanting more will lead to negative results.

Being butthurt and then abandoning them, will lead to her realizing her actions have consequences.

but you'll be dealing with this game at some level or another in nearly every relationship

I am playing the game. This is a superior way of playing it.

When a child misbehaves and cries, and is then ignored or abandoned every time because of such behavior, then the child will learn that it doesn't work and won't try that tactic.

But if the child stops crying and behaves correctly, and is rewarded for it with attention and care, then it will reinforce good behavior.

And if the child is neglected no matter what he does, then that just leads to reinforcing psychotic and criminal behavior in adulthood.

(obviously doesn't apply to babies because babies use crying as the only way of communication of their needs).

1

[deleted] 8y ago

When I was a young man I admit it, I sweated a few game playing hoes.

But now as an older man, LOL you must be kidding me.

If my wife did some shady shit like that, a smile would light up my face...

ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M FREE???

I would literally start dancing. I might even sing a tune.

No more husbandly responsibility? No more expectations? I get to keep all my money (I live in a 50-50 default custody state as of 2013) now?

I'd immediately be on the phone with my single buddies all like

"What sup bro? ... Yeah dude I'm FREE ... Yep caught wifey talking to some dude ... Yeah it was no good ... What little honeys you got going on? .... Oh yeah dude I'M IN ... Yeah I'll drive ... Text you when I'm on my way"

I'd post a little blurb on my FB page that I'm separated and that I really don't want to talk about it much - and the women will start coming out of the woodwork messaging, texting me, coincidentally showing up at places I'm at, etc...

I'm a good dude who loves his wife. I'm a good husband who shows just enough beta traits to mix with the natural alpha. I diet, work out, I'm educated, I have a good job, I'm ambitious and my career is on an upward track, I fix shit and take care of the yard - our home looks beautiful - and I'm happy to do all these things - but all that goes away if she were to reveal her unworthiness. I wouldn't miss a blink of sleep, either.

Its not like I have to throw that in my wife's face, she just knows. That is the way it should be. That's the way it should be for every dude in an LTR. By the time you get that headlong into a situation the boundaries must be set.

We've all bought cars here right? Its sort of like that. You're never going to get the best price until you show the salesman your back. That's when they know your limit. Same with women. Early on you set the precedent of what your tolerance points are. You don't have to be a dick about it (at least not all the time - maybe sometimes), just matter of fact. X behavior will get Y result. After the first few shit tests blow up in their faces they learn. If you have the groundwork laid - a good financial base under you and an abundance mentality, then literally any situation you can walk away from and be alright. If women know that at any given moment you could just walk away without blinking that tends to cure them somewhat of shitty tendencies. You're not being an asshole about things - its just a matter of ability and self respect.

6

squirestrat 8y ago

Everyone should keep this in mind:

"ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M FREE???"

I too feel this way when mistakes are made. It's liberating.

4

[deleted] 8y ago

Excellent analysis and example on attitude

2

projectself 8y ago

This is a great post.

I have said a few times before that if I had known then what I know now I probably could have saved my marriage, but if I had known then what I know now, why the hell would I have wanted to?

And this post exactly summarizes what went wrong. At the end of a 15 year partnership and 12 year marriage, I was being cheated on. I found evidence, confronted. Deny Deny, trickle truth. We did marriage counseling. The counselor agreed with me, and encouraged me to snoop her computer, put a voice recorder in her car, and all around try to verify everything she said. I confronted the other guy.. he denied of course. Looking back I still absolutely cringe at that. It was entirely the wrong move. It was absolutely never my job to prove she loved me or prove she was telling the truth. That should have been her job.

In dating now, one thing I make very clear is that it is the girls job to handle unwanted attention. If we are out at a bar and some guy is flirting with her, it is her job to defuse it as I will not get involved. If I feel disrespected in the situation, I'll leave. Find your own ride. I've done it a few times too. It works far better than you can imagine.

That being said, I dont want to imply that you have to be an emotional zombie, it's not like that at all. Of course you have feelings and emotions, but that you have boundaries in how you will be treated. You will be treated how you allow others to treat you. You cannot control anyone but yourself. You cannot even necessarily control your feelings and emotions, but you can control your actions. So do so.

Lastly, the difference between controlling and leading is by controlling you are telling her what she needs to do. By leading you are telling her what you will do in a situation.

Example:

Do not wear that dress - controlling.

I like that dress you wore the night you blew me at that patio restaurant on the balcony. - Leading.

Do not cheat on me - controlling

I would never stay with a woman that cheated on me - leading.

33

bertmaklinFBI 8y ago

what you outlined is spot on. Why is it a great post when he clearly showed his wife that he cared...and why is the wife not handling the "unwanted attention" appropriately...

Jesus this sub has gone to shit.

6

[deleted] 8y ago

Jesus this sub has gone to shit.

The posts are almost 100% pure wanking but the comment section still holds valueable conversations. I always come for those, not the posts.

4

sir_Preacher 8y ago

In any relationship, there is one partner who is more afraid to lose the other. Never be that partner.

The moment a woman realizes she can make you jealous, she know she has tremendous power over you.

Never show any sign of jealousy.
Never be afraid to lose her.
Always be willing to walk away.

61

ManOfGrapes 8y ago

Let's be real, if you're doing it right, your bitch will be mateguarding you instead.

35

redditched 8y ago

What do you do in a situation where the girl keeps talking about her ex (even if it's usually in a bad way, eg "the ex never used to do XYZ"). I have come across a few girls who this a lot with me, especially if they've only had 1-2 serious relationships in their past.

How to deal? I feel like bringing it up is almost "mate guarding"

With a previous plate i told her that i don't give a fuck about her and her ex and to never bring it up. It worked.

Now with this new plate (23) who has higher SMV and just got out of a 5 year relationship she does a similar thing. Comparing me to her ex (since that's all she knows? ) even when I'm portrayed positively 99% of the time it still annoying as fuck..

Advice?

1

KartagoPill 8y ago

Jealousy is powerful. I need to make it work for me.

6

LyricBaritone 8y ago

If you have proper frame and SMV, it will work for you naturally through Dread Game. No need to manipulate it any further.

2

warjesus420 8y ago

Easy there bud, it may sound good but....I had a 3 year LTR who was kinda jealous in the beginning which yeah, made her all over me, which trust me gets really annoying after a while too, but the worst was near the end. She started getting bat shit crazy. Like grab the steering wheel on the highway and try to run us off the road crazy. If I was who I am today I woulda gotten out way before that but at the time I had only been with a handful of girls and she was a HB8 and while I wasn't full on beta I certainly hadn't taken the RP so I kept letting her get away with shit. It got even worse but I think I've made my point.

10

Merck5678 8y ago

How did you finally end it?

1

warjesus420 8y ago

Eventually I just got so sick of always feeling worthless and not like a man that I knew that I would have to be happier and better off without that crap in my life. I had a lot of support from my friends who constantly told me how they hated seeing the way she treated me. It was tough since I was still kinda a bitch afraid to be alone and lose the best looking girl that had ever been my gf. Honestly though my IDGAF was through the roof when I finally ended it and within a month I had three plates, one of whom was a HB8 milf in her late 30's lol. Needless to say I realized I made the right choice pretty quickly.

2

TRPtruth 8y ago

For those of you playing TRP on hard mode (married) and who don't have an ex plate to t up when wifey starts talking to Mandingo at the gym, the object is still dread but you have other options:

My favorite is the little Asian chick at the massage place around the corner. Wifey knows the one. Sets with Mandingo, great I'll be at the massage parlor and have one working my legs while the other works my shoulders, have fun babe, slap her on the ass and wink at her and say, "Maybe I'll get that happy endin know what I'm sayin?" with a shit eating grin and another wink.
You can go full on black ops with this shit. Buy a burner phone, put the burner phone as a contact on your cell phone as an ex or a chick you were friends with at college or a few years back at work that your wife gave you the "are you fucking herrrrr?" look about.

Unless you are a complete twat you have a few of those women... now start sending yourself texts...now tell wifey "you remember Kelly from marketing? We are gonna get drinks while you are hitting the iron with Mandingo." Then tell her excitedly you need to get in the shower and cleaned up and get ready. She'll check your phone while your are in there and get the tingles when she sees "Kelly" texting. You can control the level of dread by deciding what the texts say.

Get some ladies underwear and put them in with your dirty laundry. "Whoooose are theseeee??" Oh I don't know babe...

You get the picture. Dread game is easier when you have the actual abundance and lady friends to use, but if you are in hard mode and have been for a long time those assets are not always available. Make due with what you have, but don't approach Mandingo and make a fool out of yourself and don't approach the smartest teenager in the room to "reason" with her about it either.

-4

[deleted] 8y ago

Goodness, this reeks of all sorts of passive-aggressive manipulation. I've got no interest in spending my time, money, and energy creating a fake scenario where some past chick texts me. This is some third-grade boyfriend-girlfriend jealousy scheme.

Grow a backbone. Be true to yourself.

3

BIKEBIKE_bikebike 8y ago

All of that is something you have to do if you're not a good enough man to come by some dread honestly.

I was embarrassed reading that that anyone would act that way. A man? No way.

13

[deleted] 8y ago

I'll just go pay for a handjob! That'll show her!

2

1Hf9n8X 8y ago

This seems as overinvestment in fake dread to me, but on the other hand I get that playing TRP on hard mode may require that. As a sidenote, it'd be really nice to have a post about keeping abundance in marriage, if there is none yet.

7

RedSugarPill 8y ago

Over investment happened at the alter. The guy is married, and trying to keep it that way.

2

zetayshow 8y ago

Fuck Mate this just opened a whole new view for me. Very thanks

1

[deleted] 8y ago

I call this "keeping your woman away from the inappropriate line" and wrote about this topic on my blog:

Keep Your Woman from Approaching The Line

I think it's still a form of mate-guarding, but much more subtle. Of course you care and don't want to lose her... that's precisely why you tell her you're going to do equally stupid stuff. You gotta shock her out of her little temporary stupid state.

1

genjuro_zero 8y ago

"drinks date with plausible deniability."

I almost lost it at this. Great post.

2

harsheehorshee 8y ago

Isn't this basically "playing games" with her? If she has the gall to do this, shouldn't one just next her?

5

Luis_McLovin 8y ago

Yes this is playing games. Yes, it's sexual strategy. If you can beat them at their own game however you win.

2

TorboLeto 8y ago

I've heard a lot about this covert communication stuff, but I just don't get it.

Why are you openly telling your girl you'll see other people too and go to lunch with Jodi... Shouldn't that be communicated covertly?

0

SirNemesis 8y ago

Do as you like. If anyone tries to appropriate my woman he is gonna end up in a ditch. No one steals from me.

-10

[deleted] 8y ago

So......you would fight and kill another man over....a bitch.

Nice. Potentially ruin your life over a single, non-unique, whore.

Know what I'd do? I'd buy him a drink and profusely thank him for showing me she is a slut. Then I'd tell him he can have her

3

[deleted]

kempff 8y ago

So if you embrace a cheater, she can have you end any man she chooses.

Dude, that is so alpha.

4

SirNemesis 8y ago

Well if she goes along with it, she can end up in the ditch too.

1

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