Have you ever been into a girl, and she say’s something along the lines of, “You’re nice. But let’s just be friends?” It’s happened to us all.
Once I had a student who asked me for advice about this. I told him to say, “I have enough friends. I want to be closer to you.”
He didn’t believe me. And he was friend-zoned
A few months later, he met a hot spanish girl. The same situation arose. This time he did what I told him and gave her the ultimatum: Date him, or move on. Well, they got together. She considered not having him in his life, or hooking up with him. She chose well.
Have Boundaries
Women respect men with boundaries, and clearly defined relationship goals. You have to know what you want, because she’s not going to teach you how to seduce her. She doesn’t know how. All she knows is what she feels, and a guy who is willing to walk away, to lose her forever, is a man who knows what he wants.
Be The Leader
Women need to be lead. You must be the guy that defines the structure of your relationship. Once she takes and holds the lead, gives the orders and ultimatums, you can kiss your seduction goodbye.
Does this mean you can’t be friends with women? Not at all. But if you want to sleep with her, or be in a romantic relationship, then being friend-zoned is the absolute worst thing that could happen. Digging yourself out of that trap is nearly impossible.
So never let yourself be friend-zoned with a woman you’re attracted to. Just say, “No thanks.”
Many men think that by befriending the hot girl, she will eventually succumb to their charms. And while this happens sometimes, it’s very rare.
Use Social Proof and Pre-Selection
If you’re in the friend-zone already, the best way to escape it, is to let her see you dating, or attracting, other attractive women.
Go to a party and approach a few women. Get a phone number in front of her. Make her jealous. Date other women. Post a picture of you and a few pretty girls on Facebook. And when she starts to talk about these girls, usually in the form of some tease, or passive aggressive insult towards them, or yourself, say, “So you’re a little jealous huh? Well, you had your chance.”
Don’t be mean, or strict in this regard. Just playfully tease her about it.
This is why it’s critical to learn game, and have an understanding of female attraction mechanisms.
A man who is willing and able to walk away, shows that he has options. No one girl will absorb his time with friendship, without paying for that time with sex, affection, or at least a really good time.
If you’re friends with a girl without the sex, then she has to play some role in your life. She has to help you with your problems, or act as your wing girl and make you look good to other women, or take you to parties, or do something other than just be attractive in your presence.
betaDon’t Be The Beta
Beta male orbiters are the butt of the men’s communities jokes. These guys drive their crush everywhere, they provide emotional support when she gets dumped, buy her trips and vacations, clothes, jewellery, and dish out free cuddles when she’s grumpy.
They put up with low character behaviour, like when she’s whining about petty things. They tell her everything will be alright, and act as an emotional tampon. And what do they get in return? Her friendship?
If she wants to act like your girlfriend, but without the sex, then you are still friend-zoned. Do not allow this to happen.
I’m a pretty introverted guy. I like to be alone. I have women in my life, girls who I see and sleep with, but I have very few close female friends. Not that I don’t have the option. It’s just that, most of them don’t stimulate me intellectually, not enough to give them my valuable time. Sure I’ll go for coffee sometimes, or to a party, but I have a much more interesting time when I hang out with men. We can do man things. With women I like to do, “with women,” things. I talk about different things with women, I interact with them differently than I do with men, and it’s not that it’s better or worse. It’s just different. I prefer to be with women romantically.
I like to sleep with women. I like to be healed by women. I like to share my passion and energy with women. But I don’t like to be just friends with women. Not many. I can’t stand sexual tension, and if sexual tension remains unresolved, it can turn to frustration, and lead to a negative experience. This happens when either she likes you more than you like her, or vice versa.
I’ve got a long list of women I said, “Thanks but not thanks,” to, in regards to the friend zone. But I also have a long list of beautiful lovers who when given the choice, decided to try dating me.
This lifestyle can be lonely, but I’d rather be honest and lonely, than lying and frustrated.
Have standards for yourself. Have dignity. Know what you want from a girl, and draw your line in the sand.
Or be friends.
LINK: http://www.absoluteability.com/dating/just-say-no-to-the-friend-zone/
gt35r 10y ago
I finally dropped the bomb on the girl I made the post about a few days ago on here. The way she went about texting me was unlike any I've seen before, her train of thought was weird and almost crazy. I had to drop the nuke and tell her I have no interest in being friends, and am only sexually attracted to her.
"So I'm just an object"
I mean for christs sake she asked me out of nowhere if I watched porn, which I jokingly responded with "every waking minute of my life". She wrote literally a 3 message story about how it's going to ruin my life and cause other bad habits to form, and she's telling me because she cares about me. I have the screen shots, it's fucking weird man.
AlfaGTV6 10y ago
I would like to see this. Make a post?
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thesaint2 10y ago
Better to avoid Office girls, next you will neck deep shit in office politics which you have fucking idea about.
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Padre55 10y ago
This one is, well, nuanced.
Example, pre selection, if you are talking to Ms Thing and other women see it..value raised.
Emotional Tampon status=value and time wasted Walking Wallet=time wasted, money wasted, approach to women issues
I'd say always be flirty and uninvested, know them but not too well, no long chats about nothing.
This is one area I diverge from TRP orthodoxy as usually my female friends are interested sexually in the first place. Literally have not had one who did not allude to making the beast with two backs for "fun!" Or commenting on appearance or introducing me to single friends etc.
Things vary
Movonnow 10y ago
You lost me here.
Being friend with a woman. What a bunch of nonsence.
fhghg 10y ago
Arrangement then. I have arrangements with women that don't involve sex.
Movonnow 10y ago
As long as you do not give away your ressources for free in hope of getting something of them later, I'm fine with it.
fhghg 10y ago
I don't care what you're fine with, bro.
PlusGoody 10y ago
There is way too much drama being proposed here. Drama = butthurt = justifying a woman's assessment that you're not worthy.
Your strategies should dramatically reduce even the opportunity for a "LJBF" ploy, because, to be blunt, you shouldn't be friendly to a woman you want but don't yet have. You should be mostly ignoring her and then, when the time is right, pouncing on her. You'll know you're doing it right when the rejection you get aren't "I don't like you like that, LJBG" but "get away from me you asshole." (If your SMV isn't especially high, she'll display actual signs of revulsion -- but who cares.)
If you fuck up and manage to be in a position to get the LJBF -- then walk away with a smile and WITHOUT A WORD. It's not likely she'll come crawling back (because LJBF is in a woman's mind one of the strongest possible ways she can reject a man to whom she is completely unattracted), but you are still maximizing that slim chance.
pantsoffire 10y ago
Anyone else feel this is an almost one dimensional view of redpill, or rational male or return of kings or what ever we choose to call it? For months now this sub has been becoming a wonderland fantasy fuck of; my life is so fucking good because got mad business sense now brah/ am commited to identifying my self/ masculinity by pussy I'm fucking. Almost like the subversive srs folks got our basic shit figured out.
Thoughts?
rpdoomed 10y ago
This is truth. The biggest key here is being able to walk away. The ability to walk away from a situation that isn't to your exact specifications and liking is going to help you in more aspects of your life than just avoiding the friend zone. Here are some anecdotal, and quick FR, where being able to walk away has helped me in my life:
1 - Plate tried to con me into an LTR by saying if we were going to keep having sex we needed to date. I kicked her out of my house, she drove back 5 minutes later, apologized, and we kept fucking for another few months, before I got bored.
2 - Had a job offer that wasn't to my liking. It was better than what I was currently getting, but not what I wanted to find. I said no, told them what it would take to get me, and they contacted me a few days later to tell me they would hire me on my terms.
Being willing to walk away is a key in life. It inflates your personal value, SMV or otherwise, and it is a key mentality that will protect you from oneitis.
hb8only 10y ago
I read your nr2 as "Had a handjob offer.." and I was in shock at the end :)))
SwissPablo 10y ago
It's important to ask why do some men prefer to stay rather than walk away. They think at any moment the woman will suddenly have a change of heart and realize what she's missing. Even the farthest hope can keep a hungry man going, and women know this.
Say no, because once a woman has made her mind up it will never change.
Overkillengine 10y ago
Hope is the greatest lie men ever get taught.
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ilikepamela 10y ago
While this is true, I feel most of the time if you don't have a backup plan you might not be willing to risk it as much. For example, in this case you already had a job that you liked, so saying no to a better paying job that is not what you want was a risk-free decision since you had your other job as a backup plan.
If you were not employed (had no job or worked at McDonald's) and then they offered you the same well-paid job that you don't necessarily like, would you have done the same thing and walked away?
LoyalLuBu 10y ago
That's why it's important to have a backup plan. People mentioned abundance mentality regarding relationships, and it's true in the employment domain as well. Be attractive to as many companies as possible, keep your resume up to date, and have a solid emergency fund to work with if it takes a while to find a situation you're satisfied with.
If my employer pulled some bullshit, I'd be fine with seeking out a new job, and with quitting before I found something if it was really bad. I have enough reasonably liquid funds to sustain my lifestyle for a few years without any earned income, so I can afford to be picky. Your level of wealth isn't too different from your SMV in terms of how they offer opportunities.
Wile-E-Coyote 10y ago
That's why you have at least plans A-D, if not further. Hell, I know if things go really south I've got a bag in my closet ready to go with everything I may need to go most places in the western hemisphere, and a complete backup of my computer on an external drive. When you see plan A, B, and sometimes even C fail enough times you learn to always be ready.
chairmobile 10y ago
Well the point of trp is to improve your value to the point where you do have options, or the potential to have options.
The unemployed guy taking the fast food job is the lonely beta taking the friendzone; it's the best they can get so they force themselves to make do. Trp means you turn down such shitty arrangements because you have value enough to already have better.
GoDiscuss 10y ago
Right, so if you're starting at SMV Ground Zero, you may have to endure some shitty situations as you work your way up. Maybe even some shitty friendships with shitty girls (if you virtually have no friends).
chairmobile 10y ago
Well I'd say if your smv is that low you should be focusing on improving yourself, not wasting time on dead end girls who already see you as a beta.
In the same way, it's better to invest in your education (even a technical school or community college can greatly magnify your job value if you out in the effort) rather than pursue a dead end job. In the short term, sure you see no girls or make no money. But that's all small fry not worth your time.
Don't settle for that shitty job or friendzone. If those are your options, turn them down to improve yourself until they aren't your options. This is the core of trp.
GoDiscuss 10y ago
I think you're right, but I thought we established as a community that you should never go full Monk Mode. Social interaction of some kind is necessary to improve social skills, which are an essential part of SMV.
I'm not saying let a girl trample over you or even abuse you in the slightest. I'm saying maybe you should talk to a boring girl and try to get along with her as best you can if you aren't capable of having more interesting friends at that point in your life. Having a few boring girls around may even translate to pre-selection for a girl a bit higher in SMV, so that can be the first rung on your ladder.
chairmobile 10y ago
Fair enough, that's a valid point.
As long as you can keep yourself from becoming satisfied, settling temporarily isn't the end of the world.
wiseclockcounter 10y ago
I agree with your point. While they may not be the best prospects available, meeting people, gaining experiences, and having stories to tell is pretty indispensable. Realistically, it's impossible to be careening towards your goals so quickly that you don't have time to hang out with people at all. Making time for chance encounters, even with people you would never want to hang out with normally, or who render your fate unpredictable, can be a valuable choice. For example, just this past thanksgiving, I was out drinking with friends and decided to get home with the most annoying and deluded of my friends from high school instead of my other dude and his girl because the annoying friend was with some guys who were drunk enough to provide a story worth telling. I don't keep company with these people, but a small investment of my time can give me a story worth telling. Do this for every opportunity where you have the time and before you know it, you have a pretty solid list of casual stories to draw from. The key is to view people as a utility in those times of your life, not a priority or some psychological necessity.
rpdoomed 10y ago
This closely resembles what I would say.
This is a more complicated issue than what I was in, however I would say that allowing yourself to fall into this category is your own fault. As a man, it is your responsibility to do the absolute best for yourself that you can, and it is also your responsibility to dig yourself out of a tough spot since you allowed yourself to get in a pickle like that. You take the responsibility for your own actions.
chairmobile 10y ago
Absolutely. Neglecting education is a fool's course.
the_red_scimitar 10y ago
True enough, and completely sidesteps the question.
rpdoomed 10y ago
Why would I give the answer that's completely obvious? It's a question that answers itself. Of course I'd take the fucking job, given the hypothetical situation. HOWEVER I would continue looking for a job that matched what I really wanted. Why the hell would I be content with what I considered to be a job that doesn't pay me what I am worth.
It's a dumb question because anyone with half a brain will obviously do what it takes to survive or quickly remove their person from a bad situation. Being jobless or working at Mickey D's Fat Burgers counts as a bad situation. Why even ask the question?
the_red_scimitar 10y ago
Yeah, see, we don't actually know you are "someone with a brain", now, do we? So the dumb part was... yours.
And the return question: Why would you skip around a question? There are more answers to that. But meh, fine. Everything you wrote is kinda from a fucked up asshole attitude anyway, mmkay?
rpdoomed 10y ago
Cuz we're all about being nice guys in here! The only "Asshole" response was to yours. It's not being an asshole to point out that it's your own responsibility to take care of yourself.
I am a coach on a high school sports team, and if I answered every stupid question to come my way, I'd be a very busy man. Merely asking a dumb question does not automatically qualify the waste of my time. That's akin to a girl thinking she deserves your respect because she has a vagina.
the_red_scimitar 10y ago
This is why the canon includes abundance, and the mentality to go with it.
dntdxxmbr 10y ago
So you discovered outcome independent here as in the dating world works.
Rollo-Tomassi 10y ago
Playing Friends: http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/19/playing-friends/
Friends Like These: http://therationalmale.com/2012/11/29/friends-like-these/
fatpernis 10y ago
My gut says the counter rejection is too butthurt/weak a response.
These days I'm never in a position to counter reject because I never come close to the friend zone in the first place. But if I had to, I would just withdraw my attention and go for other women.
The counter rejection is weak. Withdrawing attention might not be a strong response, but at least it is a smart response. Thoughts?
redrandoman 10y ago
I think it (withdrawl) can be viewed as a stong response because if they come back to you or ask why you've been distant etc. It can easily go right back to them. E.g. "We ain't in a relationship, stop being so needy."
NeopolitanAfterglow 10y ago
My last LTR started off in the friend zone. She told me she's not ready for a relationship (1 year since her breakup) and we can only be friends. I was even such a pussy that I literally cried and said I'm not interested in that. It's bf / gf or I have to move on. She said "OK, let's try bf / gf " and bam, 4 1/2 years of regular sex.
The friend zone is a self constructed prison. Never sentence yourself to that.
idkbanana 10y ago
Well shit.. I know what I'm doing wrong (not crying)
kragshot 10y ago
True shit. If a woman is willing to have an intimate conversation with you, she is willing to fuck you under the right circumstances. If she will spend 30 minutes talking to you alone under casual surroundings, then she will most likely be willing to spend 15 minutes making out or fucking you...but you have to make her want to do so. If you want to either fuck her or date her, it is your job to make those circumstances manifest in your relationship with her.
To paraphrase the late, great, Patrice O'Neal...it is your job as a man to give that woman "other options" where she doesn't see any existing.
exit_sandman 10y ago
Kudos that it worked, but wouldn't recommend.
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loddfavne 10y ago
Gotta hand it to him for originality.
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NeopolitanAfterglow 10y ago
Well, I mean, yeah. Phone crying, but it was the real deal.
Endevour 10y ago
I can't believe what I'm reading.
jotch 10y ago
I'm not even mad, thats amazing. High five. Just dont get your tears on me.
ElKod 10y ago
Damn man, she must have really liked you or thought it was a good enough display of emotions to believe you have some! High-five here. You are one in a million..
cocaine_face 10y ago
It was obviously very manly crying.
wimmyjales 10y ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIYv05vcZaA#t=6s
sidjo86 10y ago
http://youtu.be/ee925OTFBCA best part 0:14
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pantsoffire 10y ago
"Can vampires cry?
Once, maybe twice in their lifetime."
Once, maybe twice in front of most women. Funerals- that's probably it. We all know what happens when you show humanity, I'm sorry. Weakness. They fall back on the ideal of a fucking macho as fuck guy samurai viking warlord who hasn't cried since prenatally. Becuase a real guy will either be their bitch ass guy friend or their inhuman superman. But maybe you can linger in the inbetween, as the guy they can't "figure out" because you ain't soft but you are not trying to fuck them. Good luck weirdo.
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NeopolitanAfterglow 10y ago
Robert DeNiro in Analyze This? (Too lazy to look for a video)
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TVTestPattern 10y ago
Thanks man... now I'm crying too.
Awesome...
lol
watersign 10y ago
wow..i would never do that, id just whip out my dick
Squeezymypenisy 10y ago
Haha I honestly though I was being trolled on 4chan when I read this. How did you cry out of the friendzone? Do tears make her horny?
fuckeh 10y ago
It shows her you care and value her, and it's a display of passion. A lot of women would be turned off by it but I can understand how it might work.
Shadowrunner32 10y ago
Women don't expect perfection. You can screw stuff up and still succeed. Just less likely.
NeopolitanAfterglow 10y ago
You're probably imagining me crying on her shoulder followed by pity sex. Actually, it was phone crying late at night resulting in a gf / bf agreement. Our first date was about a week later, which involved a rooftop makeout session and an F close immediately after.
Strange that we technically entered the exclusively agreement before our actual first date.
Squeezymypenisy 10y ago
I mean this is the internet, but it sounds like you just lived a disney movie moment. I never thought anything like that was possible.
Weedwin31 10y ago
But still, it sounds really bluePill, basically you begged for a relationship, i think she has the power in that relation by the way
NeopolitanAfterglow 10y ago
Of course it was BP. I was on an 18 month dry spell, so the crying was more about that than it was about her.
But then after the first fuck, she immediately fell for me and the tables turned. She was almost instantly baby crazy, asking for marriage. (Thank god for the vasectomy.) I pretty much maintained a consistent 65-35 power advantage over her from that point on.
through_a_ways 10y ago
That doesn't mean anything. If anything, the more quickly she asks for marriage, the less power you have.
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trpthrowaway28 10y ago
what if you say "I just got out of a bad friendship and I not looking for new friends right now?"
Rock2MyBeat 10y ago
She'd probably laugh and start sucking your dick.
Edit: contractions are hard on Swype.
exit_sandman 10y ago
That's golden.
And someone actually gilded it!
Mr_Andry 10y ago
Had to read that twice. Good one.
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widec 10y ago
But I'm sure there's people out there who would love to be your friend!
ric2b 10y ago
Now I'm hoping a girl says she wants to be just friends just so I can use that!
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the_red_scimitar 10y ago
When that happens pretty early on (like first or 2nd time meeting - I won't say "dating") - I tell them nope, and that that was clearly not the intent in meeting. I'm not at all shy about letting them know.
HellhoundsOnMyTrail 10y ago
Had this with a girl on OKC that was messaging with me this last week. Said she was only there for friends though her profile included 'short term dating.' I took to mean she simply wasn't attracted and let her know it would be disingenuous of me to hang out with her under false pretenses. Sucked but at the end of the day, I'd rather have that than waste my time thinking I had a chance.
cocaine_face 10y ago
No, in this context that's probably not what it meant.
"I'm just looking for friends" on dating site = "I don't want to date clingy guys, and I want to hang out and probably fuck before we even think about being anything more than just hang out partners."
There are exceptions and it would depend on how it was worded and what it was in response to, but a, "I'm looking for friends" doesn't equal rejection on a dating site, unless you went very explicitly sexual, and then it probably just means, "Slow down!"
Read the essay on powertalk in the sidebar for more examples.
smokingmonkey420 10y ago
You could always mindfuck her. Say "sure we can be friends." Then ignore her entirely.
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Overkillengine 10y ago
At first, definitely. Until the realization sets in after enough time of getting nothing of what she expected out of you.
Which can be fun if she then brings that up, since you can then reply (if at all) "Yeah I'm not getting anything out of this either." Then more silence.
Poignant silence.
smokingmonkey420 10y ago
Exactly. Tackling this problem head on plays into her frame.
I love "playing the beta." It's what she expects. It makes her comfortable.
Women hate confrontation, so when you stand your ground in this situation, you are rolling the dice and showing your hand. Putting her in the drivers seat.
Law 32: Play to people's fantasies.
dogberry23 10y ago
Sorry, I do not get it. Why, in this case, standing your ground is not the right thing to do? Isn't it all about "holding frame", in the end?
smokingmonkey420 10y ago
Personally, if it gets to that point where she suggests "just being friends," then I feel like you fucked up. She wouldn't ever consider saying something like that with a man she was deeply attracted too.
If you refuse her offer, you're basically telling her that you want to be exclusive, which isn't any better of an approach. It's far better cry than the beta orbiter who will agree to her terms on a superficial level, but really just wants to get in her pants, but still not a good approach.
So if she brings this up, you either soft next or hard next her. Either tell her "ok" and proceed with radio silence, or tell her to hit the bricks. In either case, she gets no relationship from you unless it's on your terms. End result is she chases you or moves on.
raceAround126 10y ago
I've side this a few times to girls.
Only once did it ever go badly. It was a girl I was kinda interested in and maybe beta'd up a little. It wasn't what I said it was my general demeanour. I smiled too much and wasn't gruff enough.
Anyway, she smelled the beta. And then she said, "I think we should be friends!"
I just said, "No thanks" and walked away.
Yeah... seeing a woman go absolutely ape shit at you in the middle of a pub... well... embarrassing.
I was still transforming from beta to alpha, so I took it like a prick I'm sad to say!
LosingMoneyAllDay 10y ago
Really? If she so much as huffed at that response, your best bet is to just laugh at her and look amused at her acting like a child.
robot-b 10y ago
I like Tom Leykis' approach: 'Now, now sweetheart, I think its time to calm down, dear'
CoyoteCS 10y ago
I miss his show when it was on the radio out here in California. He speaks the truth.
robot-b 10y ago
heaps of his stuff on youtube and you can stream from his site or subscribe if you need a fix
CoyoteCS 10y ago
It's moments like this that I realize I'm not a smart man. I don't know why I never thought of looking him up.
Thank you for the suggestions.
TVTestPattern 10y ago
Excellent post.
Take this advice guys... not just with women, with all relationships. Work, friends, sports... everything.
Stand up for your dignity. If you won't, why should I?
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brotherjustincrowe 10y ago
I've got a couple of good-natured fatty orbiters. Balk at the thought of sticking it in them, but they're good for a chat (one's a waitress at the local diner and the other works at a bookstore in town I frequent).
videogamema5ter 10y ago
Good post. I needed something like this two days ago. I'll have to keep this in mind for the future.
Seriously, she just said "Hey, let's just be friends." and I responded with "Uh, okay."
I have a lot to learn.
Observerwwtdd 10y ago
As I said once...I've got enough friends....I need someone willing to go that "extra mile" for me.
unknowinglyRP 10y ago
I'm only referencing and mentioning this due to the influx lately of people in this sub talking about being friends with women.
Why on earth would you want to be friends with a woman? It just baffles my mind.
hollowcrown51 10y ago
Same reason you'd want to be friends with a man. You enjoy mutually enjoy each others company and what each other has to say and share common interests and activities.
WeCantHaveFun 10y ago
I looooooooove the friend zone. So many easy lays that way.
There are some caveats: spend nothing, give nothing not even a like on fb or whatever, only spend time with them if you have absolutely nothing to do. They're great to take to the bars since they're always bad mouthing you, making the preppie kid look like a player.
The hunter becomes the hunted.
OptimusPAUL 10y ago
You are an asteroid. You are using the pull of a black hole to sling shot you to new frontiers.
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WeCantHaveFun 10y ago
Bingo
Always coming over the top works for me. Let no slight go unreplied. Whatever shortcoming however small she has, pick at it, always with a shit kicking grin.
She'll never come into line, but she'll always fuck.
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PedophilePriest 10y ago
You can take it a step further as well. Whenever a girl suggests to me that were friends, or should be friends my answer is always "No. I cant be friends with any woman unless I have already slept with her."
Just_for_boobs 10y ago
Variation: "I can only be friends with a woman that i have already slept with. We can be friends. smirk"
other_worlds 10y ago
That's my rule and thats my response when a girl asks me to buy her a drink.
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jedlucid 10y ago
to quote Patrice O'Neal "sometimes you have to take an L". Its tough, you miss the companionship, but after a while you fill it with more of you reaffirming your own ideas and you'll soon be harder to talk to.
kragshot 10y ago
True shit, man.
I ended up nailing a girl who tried to FZ me six years before. After the walkaway, I saw her six years later when I was spinning a club set. While I didn't completely dismiss her, I didn't make any time for her while I was partying with the other folks in the VIP section...away and above her on the main floor.
About a week later, she cornered me at the club and demanded that "we talk." I turned it back on her with the "Okay. Talk." She began stumbling over her words at that point because she expected me to just fall back into place, fawning all over her, and I didn't even come close to it. Finally, I said; "You wanted to talk...stop meandering and tell me what you want. My friends are kind of waiting on me for the midnight toast."
She did the meek reply; "We're friends aren't we?"
I replied; "I didn't need that from you then...I certainly don't want it now. I have plenty of 'female friends.' What I wanted from you was a more intimate connection. So...what's changed? I've got to go...folks are waiting."
At the end of the night, I came out to my car to find her leaning against it, asking me to come back to her place so "we could talk about it, a little more." Yeah. I ended up "stringing her along" for about eight months before turning it into a 3 year LTR where she knew what the deal was...yeah, I still wanted her...badly. But just like then, I was willing to take an "L" just to get my point across and not be used as a tool by her. It worked out in the end.
jedlucid 10y ago
this year i pulled out of 2 FZs with rigorous over the top meanness. it's refreshing to know I won't have to deal with either of them. I fucked one before it was over, the one i didn't wanna fuck, but that's not the point.
Roshambo_USMC 10y ago
I always picture DeNiro in Heat talking about always being ready to walk away, and he does just that at the end of the movie. This is how you have to be: completely secure/outcome independent. Once you become this solid, and especially when your target sees the interested competition right in her face, the tide will most likely turn in your favor.
Why this works so often with different "types" of women across the board is beyond me (as a logical male), but it seems to work everytime I employ it.
PlusGoody 10y ago
Spoiler Alert for 20 year old movie. The entire point of the third act is that De Niro does NOT walk away, and gets taken down by the heat as a result.
Roshambo_USMC 10y ago
He walks away from the girl, following his own advice from earlier in the film when he talked about being able to walk out on a woman, hence my analogy. He goes back for revenge, but he left that woman in the car and dipped out, even with her staring him down.
brotherjustincrowe 10y ago
AWALT. As in, not logical. Feels > reals.
Movonnow 10y ago
Girls are like Chuck Norris.
It it looks like a chicken, if it smells like a chicken, if it tastes like a chicken BUT if feels says its a cow, then it's a fucking cow.
Masonjarteadrinker2 10y ago
This is very true, actually happening right now but it's the co worker and we already fucked drunk, I want to keep doing it but also don't because of the drama that could ensue.
symko 10y ago
Cool bro, just remember, don't shit where you eat. I have a strict "don't date coworkers" policy because human resources does not give a shit about you. They are there to protect the company and if they extend an olive branch, it'll be going to her.
Masonjarteadrinker2 10y ago
Yea I feel you, I would get at it if I could again but she's got a kid and a BF on top of that we work together and I have a GF. All the subtle flirting gets to me though cause I just want to tear her up, I'll leave it alone though, not in the mood to get int o funny business here.
ConcealingFate 10y ago
There is a cute co-worker who wanted me to keep an eye on her while we were out so she doesn't do stupid shit when she drinks like she did during Christmas party. I straight up told her I'm not her bodyguard or some shit like that and walked away.
Since then, she tries to get my attention at work when she notices me and it's kinda funny.
Iramohs 10y ago
A girl tried to do the same thing with me at a concert. I ended up making out with her 10 minutes later after grinding on some random girl.
brotherjustincrowe 10y ago
No, we can't be friends, because heterosexual men and heterosexual women can't "just be friends" if there's sexual tension. Period. A girl you want to fuck who wants to be "just friends" is an ungrateful mooch, no better than a freeloading roommate who doesn't pay their share of the rent (but helps themselves to your food/weed/beer and shit-talks you).
You're not entitled to her pussy, and she's not entitled to your time or attention.
kragshot 10y ago
Back when I was single, I was DJing a set. A real cute Korean girl came up to me and started a convo. I asked her to come back to the green room with me and she replied; "I don't know...I just wanted to talk to you and be friends...."
I looked her in the eye and said: "Talk to that guy over there (pointing at some lonely-looking guy at the bar). I'm sure that he'll be your friend and there for you. I just finished a shit-hot set, I'm hard as hell, and I'm looking to fuck. If you're not down for that, then we can just call this done and I can look for a girl who is. Nothing personal. You be good."
I then walked away...I don't know what prompted me to do that shit, but I was so high on that set I just pulled off, I didn't care. Didn't even look back at her to see how she reacted. Not even five minutes later, she walked back up to me, doing the looking down, hair-twisting and biting her lower lip thing and asked me if I was still "hard as hell?" I was...but not for too much longer.
Just my testimony; that shit works. And even if it doesn't work...what do you have to lose? The attention of some girl who doesn't want to date/fuck you? You have better things to do with your time. Fuck the "friend zone." Dating and macking are investments in time like anything else you do...make them adhere to your schedule, not the other way around. If you're trying to hook up at a function, you best believe that they are there for the same reason. But be prepared to defeat the eventual shit test that you'll be put to...because it is going to happen.
The "friend zone" is the most common one that you as a man will ever encounter. The dichotomy associated with the friend zone test is that supposedly, if you say that you don't want to be "friends," then how are you supposed to be interested in her as a person?
The way out of that is simple when you think about it. You are not interested in "her" as a person; you are interested in her as a woman.
"I have enough friends in my life. I need a woman in my life...do you want to be that woman? If not, then move on so I can find the one who does want to be that woman." That puts her on the spot by challenging her womanhood...because every woman wants to "tame" some man and be "the woman" and you are challenging her by saying that "she can't be the woman."
Study that shit and see if I'm wrong.
RedHeimdall 10y ago
"Let's just be friends" = "Your SMV is too low for me"
brotherjustincrowe 10y ago
"Friends" = "you play host to my parasitism."
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Padre55 10y ago
Had the opposite experience, more "it was so great being with you! You did not pressure for sex, so let's go have sex!"
I think God had a real sense of humor when women were put on the planet
Smekiz 10y ago
Who the fuck thanks people for not raping you? Shit is fucked up
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exit_sandman 10y ago
Solid advice, with one exception:
One shouldn't do that to remind her that one is desirable, but to remind oneself that one is desirable and that there are ectually better women out there.
One shouldn't do anything with the sole intent to make her change her mind.
systemshock869 10y ago
Oh my God I met this guy. I went to a concert with a group, most of whom I didn't know. One particularly attractive girl arrived with her beta orbiter /chauffeur. She introduced me to him like he was the sweetest guy in the world, then she sat by me and didn't really talk to him the rest of the night. I am fairly empathetic and could tell by his eyes exactly what he was going through. Sit there and be the good little friend. She flirted with me pre concert and proceeded to dance with me at the concert. At the end of the night we all chilled some more and then when she was ready to leave she called him up to take her home. Poor schmuck. Been there, done that.
theoctopuss 10y ago
This happened to me just last weekend.
I was hanging out with a girl I had known for a few months. We were watching fights at a buffalo wild wings with her friend and her friend's husband. We leave early to hit up a local sports bar, so we hop in my car and go. On the way, we pick up a different friend of hers (who's also a girl).
We get to the bar and I see a guy I know outside and talk to him for a second. Both girls are smoking, so I just went inside because it's cold. They follow me in, but I go right to the bar and get a drink. I go talk to my buddy I saw, then about 15 minutes later I go find girl.
We go to the dance floor and dance a little, then head outside for a cigarette. I w as getting bored of the shitty music, so I told her I'm going to leave. We go inside to get the coats and drinks, which is where I give her the ultimatum, stay or come with. she decides to stay, so I just said "ok, see ya" as if nothing we wrong and left her there.
She apologizes the next day, but I ignore her message. She texts me a few times after, and I finally respond after 2 or 3 days of no contact. We hang out with her friend, but then she says she has to go. Girl wants to go with, but I get her to stay.
She put up LMR "I'm on my period!", but you can guess what happened. I fucked her, then she sucked me off until I finished and she swallowed.
Fuck the friend zone. It's all about frame.
12ToneRow 10y ago
I've been thinking that female "friends" could be a great way to expand your pool of potential partners. The more women you know, the more sex you'll have. Just because she doesn't want to fuck you doesn't mean that her friends won't want to. I've been experimenting with this idea. So far so good.
The funny part is that the woman who just wants to be friends, at least in my own case, will be confused when you treat her like a (male) friend.
cocaine_face 10y ago
I find it hard to maintain women in my social circle that don't want to fuck me.
fhghg 10y ago
This is tricky. To a quality woman you might look like a beta bitch. I have some arrangements with women like you describe and it's really just constant shit test material. And think of the logic. Either you want to fuck them and can't, don't want to fuck them indicating low libido, or look like a liar one way or the other. It basically makes you look desperate, non-selective, lazy, and dishonest. The only way it's a good deal is if your sex girls think the arrangement girls want to fuck you. You can't pull this off very easily with words. It takes action. Best I've found is just put the sex girls first. Always. 9/10 times the sex girl will hamster this to mean she got lucky and those other dumb bitches can't get with you like she can. This much should be obvious.
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mormon-nigger 10y ago
this same kind of thread comes up every few weeks or so. I have found it's important to maintain female friends, maybe even 1 or 2 that i once had a romantic interest in. obviously if they are high value females they can be used to build social circle, walk into nightclubs that you would otherwise never get into, end up at random house (mansion) parties in the hollywood hills, etc. It varies depending on the female and the strength of your game / friendship. Obviously if she is not a high value female and is not romantically interested in you, has no social circle, etc, her friendship alone won't gain you much of anything
Just_for_boobs 10y ago
In theory, it's a good idea to be friends with high value female for the social proof and access to other females. Sometimes i ask a girl, if she has more female or male friends to gauge her attention whore status. Guess what, most girls have more male friends. Again, in theory, you should look for a large group of girls(rare) and befriend the heart of the group.
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zerogravityii 10y ago
This is exactly what I believe in. I refuse to get friend-zoned by someone I'm attracted to. That way I have nothing to lose.
watersign 10y ago
man and woman cannot be friends. period.
btw..if you want to get out of the friend zone..just whip out your dick
deville05 10y ago
You mean to say.. Lets do all the relationship stuff without all the sexual goodness?!.. Where do I sign up?!
Gypsyfy 10y ago
Wow fantastic post. I feel like a lot of trp posts have this quality of painting women as hypergamous satanic sluts and men as guardian angels of virtue but this post has the good trp truth without the passive aggressiveness of most.
JackGoldsteinWrites 10y ago
Solid advice. I've used 'I have enough friends' a few times.
Overzealous_BlackGuy 10y ago
What happens when you've (intentionally) been friends for a while, and you end up having sex with your female friend?
Is this curiosity, good timing of events and emotions, or a sudden realization?
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crimson-hound 10y ago
The women who I've had decent/moderately healthy relationships with, I started out being friends with. Now when I say "friends" I don't mean best buds until the end. I mean we'd hangout together now and then in social groups (rarely alone) we had a lot of common interests, and we got along pretty well.
"The Friend Zone" is just some excuse neck beards come up with to explain why their hot friend doesn't want to date a socially inept, overweight, wimpy dork.
To be honest, they're probably not your friend either (they just said that so you wouldn't break down and cry in front of them like a pussy.
kragshot 10y ago
To quote the late "Easy-E:"
*Bitch, shut the fuck up...get the fuck outta here...."
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crimson-hound 10y ago
Yeah, I don't really care if I get down voted to be honest. If I'm going to get down voted for sharing a personal experience that relates to the thread topic, so be it. Haters gonna hate.