I saw the girl who was my only semi long-term relationship got married after a year of dating.
I cared about her a lot, more than a should of though at least part of that was due to her being one of the few women actually liked me(for a while anyway).
It's kind of fucked me up.
throwaway415 1 1mo ago
As others have already pointed out ITT, you dodged a bullet and got the better deal. She's someone else's problem.
Dudes who marry these bitches are literally signing away their lives to some ran-through cunt who doesn't give a shit about them and will cheat on them, divorce them and take all their shit. Be happy that it isn't you.
Also, GFTOW
ncstaterepted 1mo ago
Think about the rancid stench of her monthly bleeding period. I was on a plane with my ex, who had no body odor. she got her period on the plane, soaked all her clothes, soaked the plane seat. and her breath became like the smell of death. and i could smell a rotten death emminating from her on the plane for the entire flight. i never complained once and gave her my jacket to block her gigantic blood stain. nonetheless i just remember that smell, and how wicked she could become during her period, and wonder how the other guy is enjoying.
ExConvictNowMillionaire 1mo ago
The details were funny but I'm having dinner man ????
wonderman73 1mo ago
Abundance mindset
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
This needs to be in AskTRP in the future
Its not a rant you just asked a question. Trp posts should not have questions
First-light 2 1mo ago
If you haven't marred before, you can tend to look at marriage as something solid or as sort of portal to full adulthood that you are on one side of and the grown ups have passed through. The only way marriage actually makes you feel any different is that you are fucked financially if you quit, so you can feel less secure. That's all. Other than that its just a big party for women to show off at followed by wearing a ring to say you had a big party once. But you aren't really a bit different.
All it means is she had a big party with Beta. Be grateful it wasn't you she talked into signing that contract with the state that says she can have your shit if she stops loving you.
I know it can be hard feeling you missed out and another guy got something you wanted but try to see that all he has got is uncertainty now. He can't get more married now. The only way is down. Its now a case of keep her satisfied or pay the price. Marriage doesn't even make her less available to other men or bring her back if she runs away. It is only a minus for a man.
In my case I never felt any distress when my ex wife re-married. I was grateful to Beta that he had signed on to raise my kids (I had already accepted that I wouldn't be seeing them again thanks to my ex's obstruction) I thought "Rather Beta than me" I divorced her at 24. I am sorry to say that by then she had already peaked physically. She was already by then a little fatter than ideal. Beta has to carry her all the way down hill. Right now I think Beta (assuming he is still serving his life sentence, I never check up) has a 40 something post wall whale on his hands and if not already he will soon will be starting to deal with the perimenopause. (She never was too good on the anger issues pre wall....) I know I got the better deal, even if it cost me all I had and then a huge loan just to keep my house.
Just relax. The picture only looks sweeter every year.
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Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1mo ago
OP @Kragzen, read this response over and over again. The other 3 replies are good, but I think this is the one you really need.
And also take it from a guy who has been married for 20 years: it's not that great. I'm one of the few men I know who benefited from it, and I still say that if I could do everything over again knowing what I know now, I'd have never married anyone, ever.
The best way to get over a woman is to go get under another one (or three). Hence the idiom "GFTOW".
Kragzen 1mo ago
That loss of life opportunity and the potential future bothers me because I am not sure I will be able to achieve it again, I like the optimism of always being able to replace an existing chick but for some of us it's simply not so easy. When you meet a chick who is different you know.
First-light 2 1mo ago
This is a very understandable feeling. I had it once about a girl. You feel that you met someone different from other women and now you have lost the chance to have that, you are forever going to be impoverished. But that is not actually the whole story.
You met someone who made you feel different, better than other women made you feel. You felt you could build something great with her. How many of the billions of women on this planet have you got to know closely (not banged, actually got to know)? 10? it can't be much more than 20 even if you are very socially competent. There will be others. All women are similar and yet all are unique. There are certainly others out there who can make you feel slightly different but just as wonderful, probably even more so, if you could just find them and it is what actually build that counts, not what you hope you can build.
Its easy to feel that because she made you feel great and you had certain things in common, you could have built something great but to do that she has to stay keen. Women know what they desire and if they do not desire you enough, its a misery to live close with them. There is nothing that shrinks your dick or makes you walk a foot shorter than life with a woman you desire who is just not that into you. Even if you are not worried about the idea of her being unfaithful, you live with the constant knowledge that you are not enough for her. She released you from that private hell by not choosing you. Sex is very important but how she feels about you as a man, as a life partner is more so over time and it will of course feed back into the sex anyway over the years.
If she didn't choose you, it was the right outcome for you both. But there really will be others out there who can make you just as happy or more so. Look at the statistics -how many of the world's woman have you met and got to know? She was not irreplaceable, she just showed you what you like and you learned something about yourself and what matters to you.
Kragzen 1mo ago
As I mentioned before my prior and post dating experience also significantly contributes to my opinion on this as finding women remotely interested in me has always been a challenge. I have been on a lot of first dates and she was the only one who stuck around(for a while anyway).
cundardunfinished 1mo ago
First you should avoid this information to the extent possible. Don't stay connected with exes on social media if it bothers you or if that's how you're finding out. It's like picking a wound it isn't helpful.
Second, as you get older you realize you didn't miss out on anything with your exes. They get older and fatter and you bang women younger and fitter.
Lastly, GFTOW
Durek_The_Bald 1mo ago
Whether reality or mindset, this is what that's about. How do you get over it? You fix that.
Kragzen 1mo ago
I agree in theory but its harder in practice, I'm over 30 and she was the only semi serious girl I ever dated. I had a few short term sex(which I am still surprised I was able to do) but this one was the one who lasted the longest. Perhaps I would be less bothered if I had many more ex's but she felt special(I know AWALT but she really was a bit different).
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1mo ago
So what?
Kragzen 1mo ago
At over 30 having only one girl seriously interested in you isn't a good track record for getting new relationships unfortunately.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1mo ago
There's dudes who didn't find TRP/MRP until their fifties or even sixties who still managed to get laid just fine.
As a man, relationships aren't your goal. Getting sex is. Relationships are a woman's concern.
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
Easy. Scratch her off the bucket list. Almost 4 billion women in the world. Take your pick. Have as many as you want.
Overkill_Engine Endorsed Contributor 1mo ago
If she was worth you giving a shit about what she does, she'd still be with you.
FIN.
And seriously, why the fuck are you wasting your time and energy keeping up on what an ex is doing? May as well go do something tedious and time consuming, like detailing the grout in your bathroom.
Because then you at least have a cleaner bathroom, and it sounds less miserable than the shit you are doing now.