Purpose: This is a step-by-step guide for any man in California who discovers that he has been targeted or posted about in a group like "Are We Dating the Same Guy" (AWDTSG). The guide outlines your legal options and rights under California law, without requiring costly legal action.

This method WORKS, does not require an attorney, and cannot fail. It is a foolproof template.

This method will lead to consequences for the poster, legal, and civil. They will also have a domestic violence restraining order on record, which will ALMOST CERTAINTLY end up on google. These cannot get de-indexed, and most employers will not hire someone who has a DVRO agaisnt them. This will serve as a detterent for future posters as well.

STEP 1: Document the Post

Take clear screenshots of the post, comments, group name, date, and any visible group member count.

Note any claims made, especially defamatory, sexual, or criminal accusations.

Record any emotional or reputational harm caused (e.g., job loss, social isolation, anxiety). (Relevant codes for emotional abuse: Family Code §6320, Penal Code §422 for threats, Civil Code §1708.7 for stalking damages)

STEP 2: File a Police Report for Cyberstalking or Harassment

Visit your local police department, or go to their website. Most cities have an online, non-emergency police report form.

If you know who is posting you, include their full name, and all information in the report.

If you do not know who is posting you, file the report against “Jane Doe” or “Jane Does, 1 through 100 inclusive”. In description, you can add the details of all the moderators of the facebook group. If you have suspicions of who is posting, include all individuals and their information.

Report the post under these California Penal Codes:

PC §646.9 (Stalking via electronic means – conduct that causes fear or emotional distress)

PC §653.2 (Posting personal info intending to incite harassment or harm)

PC §6320 (Disturbing the peace of the other party – applies under domestic violence statutes)

PC §273.5 (Infliction of injury on a cohabitant or partner – includes emotional or psychological injury)

PC §136.1 (Witness intimidation if post discourages reporting or truth-telling)

Include:

The prior relationship (even one date counts, and this falls under DOMESTIC VIOLENCE). Just take a screenshot of texts planning a date, or if you have photos of being together, or any evidence that indicates there was some type of relationship. (See Family Code §6211 defining domestic relationships)

Emotional and reputational harm, through direct and indirect means (Penal Code §646.9; Civil Code §1708.7)

Intent by the poster to damage you publicly, and disturb your mental calm (§6320; see: https://kleemanlaw.com/2022/12/27/hello-world/)

You will receive an email confirming your report, and issue you the report with a report number. Depending on the city, you may or may never hear from the police. However, you will include and reference this report in all other filings.

STEP 3: Send a CPRA/CCPA Deletion Request

Draft a sworn deletion request letter to the group admin or platform host (e.g., Facebook).

Include this statement:

"Pursuant to California Civil Code § 1798.105, I am exercising my right to request the deletion of all personal data relating to me, including name, photographs, employment, relationship or sexual history, or any other identifying data posted in your group."

Request written confirmation of compliance within 45 days.

Send via email and certified mail if possible. (Failure to comply may be enforced by California Civil Code §1798.155 and result in CPPA investigation)

STEP 4: File a Complaint with the California Privacy Protection Agency (CPPA)

If you receive no response or the content remains posted (which is expected, but you will need this to prove that you tried), file a sworn complaint online at https://cppa.ca.gov/webapplications/complaint

Include:

Screenshots

Copy of your deletion request

Sworn affidavit describing the harm and how your data was used

Include the police report you filed attached, or reference the report number (Violation of CPRA under California Civil Code §1798.120-1798.150)

STEP 5: Seek a Domestic Violence Restraining Order (DVRO)

Go to your local courthouse or self-help center. Many counties allow you to do this online.

Request a DVRO under the Family Code on the basis that:

You had an intimate or any form of dating relationship with the poster. Even if this was a girl who liked you, that you did not like back, this counts as domestic violence. (Defined under Family Code §6211 as including former dating partners)

The post caused fear, distress, harassment; or disturbs your mental peace and calm. (See Family Code §6320 – includes harassment, emotional abuse, and indirect threats as DV)

Bring all documentation from prior steps

The DVRO will require the individual to cease online postings or contact.

If you do not know who is posting you, file the report against “Jane Doe” or “Jane Does, 1 through 100 inclusive”. In description, you can add the details of all the moderators of the facebook group. If you have suspicions of who is posting, include all individuals and their information.

You will immediately be issued a TEMPORARY restraining order. If any posts or activity occur after this, they will be considered violations. (Violations can be charged under Penal Code §273.6 – violation of restraining order)

If you do not know the names of those posting you, at your first hearing, you can request from the judge to issue a subpoena to Meta, or to the App Company, to reveal the name of the posters. They WILL have to comply.

At the hearing, HIRE A COURT TRANSCRIBER if the county does not provide one. This is CRITICAL. A court transcriber will write every word said at the hearing. If a judge happens to be sympathetic to AWDTSG, they cannot act biased becuase their decisions will be recorded. At the hearing, you will clearly define the penal codes and the charges. The judge will not be able to ignore the law, or claim it doesn’t count, when their words are recorded. This is CRITICAL. Do not forget to do this. If the judge knows there is a court transcriber, they will follow the law to the letter and not deviate.

STEP 6: Notify Meta/Facebook with Legal Complaint Language

Use Meta’s reporting tool and legal request portal.

Submit a copy of your police report, DVRO request, and the CPPA request that was ignored, along with your sworn affidavit.

Copy the following:

"This post/group contains private and defamatory information targeting me, including intimate and sexual details, violating my California privacy rights under CPRA and potentially constituting cyberstalking and harassment under California Penal Code §646.9 and §653.2."

STEP 7: Report to the California Attorney General and Federal Agencies

California Attorney General: File a complaint for privacy violation, online harassment, or misuse of personal data.

Link: https://oag.ca.gov/contact/consumer-complaint-against-business-or-company

Include all prior documentation: screenshots, police report, CPRA request, DVRO filing, etc.

Federal Trade Commission (FTC): For abusive digital conduct, doxxing, and privacy violations.

Link: https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/

Choose "privacy violation" or "internet services"

Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3): Submit a federal cyberstalking/harassment complaint.

Link: https://www.ic3.gov

Include all documentation, especially evidence of reputational/financial/emotional harm.

Remember: This guide is for general informational purposes and does not constitute legal advice. For personalized assistance, consider contacting a legal aid clinic or licensed attorney.