I made a post on here about my collection of advice where I intend to put all of my knowledge into one convenient spot. This is one such lesson, because I believe it can stand on its own (there are only minor references to other lessons). Enjoy, and let me know your thoughts:

Lesson #9 - Developing a social character part 4 (attractiveness and value demonstration)

How to be attractive and demonstrate value

I've gone on and on many times about how you "demonstrate your value" when you first approach a girl. Specifically, by demonstrating the 5 biological triggers, as well as the subconscious ones (see lesson #2). Just so we reiterate, here are the 5 biological triggers:

• Being the leader of your life/other men
• Preselection
• Physical and mental health
• Taking care of people close to you
• Successfully taking risks

But how exactly do we demonstrate them (and some of the others)? That's what we're gonna go over today.

Being a leader

What does a leader do? He doesn't give a single fuck about another's opinion. If the leader thinks he should do something, he fucking does it. A leader will stand for his opinion, even if he is alone against the world. If you ever say something like "oh my life sucks because of X", if you ever act a victim, you're not a leader of your life. As soon as you shift responsibility, you are not the leader of your life. NEVER SHIFT RESPONSIBILITY, ALWAYS BE RESPONSIBLE, AND TAKE ACTION TO FIX YOUR LIFE/CURRENT SITUATION.

If someone else is to blame for your situation, you are not a leader, simple as. So never act the victim.

A leader of his life has passion for what he's doing, because he chose to do it. Nobody forces him into anything, because he leads his own life. And if he chose what to do, he does it with passion and ambition. And that's exactly why, when you speak of what you do, you must speak it with passion. You are a leader of your life, correct? That's why women are into ambitious men (and, once again, not Jeff Bezos ambition, you can currently be broke, but it's important that the woman feels that you can make something of yourself). Have burning passion for growth and self-improvement, and be fully committed to what you're doing. Women will feel it. Remember, women go after men who they think have high survival value and who has more survival value than a leader?

Above all, you should find your life's purpose, and enjoy your life to the fullest, without any regards for what anyone thinks, BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN SELF, not to get a girl. But it will help you get them.

• "What's up?"
• "Eh not much same old same old..."

Is this how you respond to being asked that same question? Because that's fucking terrible. Your mental state should be "there's 24 hours in a day but I need fucking 124 to be able to accomplish everything I set out to do". Don't be an ambitionless slob satisfying himself with the bare minumum. Always reach as high as you can. Be interested in this, and that, and everything.

Having good friends, and being their "leader" is also an important quality. If you have high quality friends, they can help you out in necessary situations. And if they can help you out, they will also help the girl out if she is with you.

Look at criminals. They are not at all what girls say they want, but they always have girls around. They do not give a fuck about anything, and they form strong, almost brotherly bonds with their "gang". "If you touch one of mine I'll kill you". And that is transitive to the girls that they're with (assuming they're actual girlfriends and not just whores they pimp around lol). That's why girls feel safe with them. Most criminals are uneducated and definitely do not know anything that I am talking about here, but they subconsciously demonstrate a lot of the necessary qualities, and is why they always have women after them.

A LEADER OF HIS LIFE DOES NOT CAVE IN TO SOCIAL PRESSURE! Society imposes all of these "rules" onto everyone. If you give a fuck about "what people will say", you are not a leader of your own life. People are afraid of being different, but you're not, as you are a leader. If you think something is right, and everyone disagrees, you do not give a fuck. You do what you set out to do and you stand by it. Even if everyone insults you, and tells you you're an idiot, and they tell you that you're gonna be all alone in the end, if you feel strongly enough about something you stick by it... that's what it means to be a leader of your own life.

It does not mean throw everyone away. It means... "This is me, this is what I stand for, this is my life. Are you okay to follow me on this road I am passionate about?" If a girl is not ready to follow you on this path you're taking, she is not for you.

Hot girls are under a shitload of social pressure. They don't have male friends because all guys want to fuck them. They don't have close female friends, because those "friends" are most likely jealous bitches that talk shit about her behind her back. People call her a slut, a whore. A hot girl is always under a tremendous amount of social pressure, and she needs a man beside her who can also handle that pressure!.

Do not agree with your girl if she says something you disagree with! Do not bend your opinion to "get her to like you". That's one of the biggest mistakes guys make. Sometimes they even say something retarded to shit-test you, to see if you'll bend over and just take it. If she does something wrong, tell her. If she fucks up, warn her. If she doesn't respect your boundaries, walk away.

ALWAYS BE READY TO WALK AWAY! You must always be ready to walk away from the girl, if the relationship no longer satisfies you. And not just from the girl, you need to be able to walk away from anything you are unsatisfied with in your life. From the people you're not satisfied with, from a job you're not satisfied with, from the woman you're not satisfied with. Your choices brought you to where you are. If a girl hears you bitching about "aah I hate X" to her, but not doing anything about it, you are not a leader of your life. You're powerless. You are not fit to lead her, or your future family.

If you're in a bad environment (job, friends, family, girl) and you remain in that environment, you are not a leader. A man that is ready to walk away is extremely attractive to girls. If you let her get away with being a bitch, if you don't set boundaries, she's gonna walk over you and have no respect for you, and then bye bye sex and hello Jamal fucking her while you're at work.

But what if someone thinks you're selfish because of you standing for what you believe in and not compromising on your core values? Remember this: You are not selfish, they are. They are selfish for trying to impose on your how you should live your life.

"bUt MuH rElAtIoNsHiPs ArE aBoUt CoMpRoMiSe!!!1!1!1"

There is no compromise to being in a bad job. You're there for 8 hours. That's half your (awake) day. You don't compromise for something that is half your day.

There is no compromise to being in a shitty relationship. You don't compromise settling for someone you're gonna spend the rest of your life with.

You compromise on what food to eat together, or what music the two of you will listen to. YOU DON'T COMPROMISE WITH THE CORE OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

A lot of people compromise their entire lives. You don't, because you're a leader. And people, especially women, follow leaders.

Preselection

If a girl believes (it need not actually be true, she just has to think it is) that you can attract other girls on her level or even hotter, she will consider you attractive. In her mind, other girls have "vetted" you already, and found you attractive, so she finds you attractive, too. That is essentially what preselection is. So, how do we demonstrate preselection?

Spend time with women until being around them feels natural. Women will smell if you're uncomfortable around them, and then you can spout all the witty one liners you remember, you're out. Not to say you shouldn't be witty, humor is always appreciated... but remember: You're entertaining yourself, not her. Make your date fun for yourself, and if she isn't having fun, then screw it, you don't want anything with such a girl anyway.

Understand male-female psychology, aka the stuff you learned in the previous lessons. If you show it, the girl will feel like you understand what many others do not. Understanding this stuff means you have a lot of experience with women and women love that, even if they say otherwise(just be quiet about where you actually learned it from, though ;) ).

Look sexually active. Keep your hygiene on point, always be freshly cut/shaved/trimmed, with proper clothes and a fit body. When a girl looks at you, is she thinking "this guy fucks" or "eww does he even shower?"

Having female company. A hot girl having fun with you, even if she is not necessarily your girlfriend, signals preselection to other girls. If you're going out, inviting a hot female friend is recommended.

Jealousy - on her side. If a girl feels/sees that she has potential "opponents" that are a serious threat because they're attractive, quality girls, she will get fired up and want you more. IMPORTANT: Do not get her jealous by blatantly shoving "look, other girls want me!" down her throat. Instead, you need to be like "no babe, I'm not doing anything, it just so happens that other girls want me". Have her "accidentally" notice another girl hitting on you when going out. Be creative about how you do this but don't fake it. If other women aren't hitting on you, then you need to work on becoming more attractive, not on being a better faker.

Abundance mindset - A way to internalize preselection is to have an abundance mindset. Do not think that "she is the only one for me". Do not think "Oh no I barely managed to get this one girl, how the fuck am I gonna get another one." Instead, you should be thinking: "I am living my own life. If she wants to be with me that is fine. I feel nice with this girl. I would like her to be there, I care for her, but I DO NOT NEED HER!"

Would Elon Musk bend over to pick up a dollar he dropped? Well, I don't think he carries cash anyway, but that's not the point. He has so much money, that he has an abundance mindset towards that one dollar. But a beggar on the street sure as fuck would pick up a dollar he dropped. If you're desperately clutching for that one girl you barely managed to obtain, you are the beggar in question. You do not think you could get another one. You do not have an abundance mindset. There's plenty of fish in the sea, and an experienced fisherman knows it. With the knowledge you have now, you know you can get a new girl if you lose your current one. So behave accordingly, and don't let her get away with shit.

Jealousy - on your side. If you're jealous, if you forbid your girl from doing this and that and bla bla bla... you are demonstrating the exact opposite of what you should be (an abundance mindset). If you're limiting the girl to only yourself, closing her off from the rest of the world, she is not becoming a better, more complete person. She is becoming worse and worse. Do you want to spend time, either casually or in a serious relationship, with a girl who is shit, one who is not happy with herself? Humans are happy when they are free, when they have all the freedom in the world. Remember how people say "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back it was meant to be"?

I am, of course, not advocating here to let your girl mess around with other guys, there are boundaries. But do not be jealous if another guy looks at her, do not be possessive and constantly keep tabs on where she is and what she's doing. You know you are awesome. You know that you have given her the freedom to choose, and that she chose you, and will continue to choose you. Let her grow as a person. Let her remember how much it sucks out there, and how awesome you are in comparison, just in case she forgot about it for a moment.

Also, if mentioning exes (which also means preselection) never speak badly of them, even if they were shit. You chose them, why were you with them if they were so shit? Why didn't you walk away? And if that's how you speak about your exes, you will probably speak similarly of the girl you're with now, if you break up.

Even if your past relationship was completely shit, flip the script towards what you learned from that relationship, and how you're all the more thankful for it. Before I learned all this stuff I was cheated on by my girlfriend of two years. As you can imagine it comes up in conversation. I don't go all "woe is me the whore cheated on me" (remember that you shouldn't act a victim). I just go something like "it sucked, but I grew from that, and I have no resentment towards her for it".

Anyway, to summarize: Act like five different 10/10 chicks were naked at your house just now, and they all wanted to suck your dick, they begged for it but they couldn't all get it, cause you had to go and do something else you love. And you also have a million bucks in your bank account. The girl is welcome in your world, but she is not necessary!

Physical and mental health

How do we demonstrate physical and mental health? Well, I mostly covered it in lesson #1 but let's go over it again:

Exercise. Obviously, being physically fit is attractive, it represents survival value. The gym is the most common option, and one I recommend, but calisthenics or some kind of a sport are also fine. You do not need to be Mr. Olympia, you just need to look halfway decent. The goal is to be "healthy and strong" fit, not "Arnold Schwarzenegger" fit. Don't injure yourself, and keep your spinal health first.

Eat healthy. Don't eat processed shit, junk food, snacks, sweets and the like. Not only will it make you uglier (acne, fat) but it will also make you feel like shit. It's all empty calories, not something that will give you energy. Eat whole carbs, and a lot of protein (2 grams per 1kg of body weight/1 gram per pound of body weight roughly per day). Anecdotally, I didn't eat any snacks for a year, then ate a small bag of chips one day randomly. Had nothing else in the house I guess. My stomach reacted so badly to it, because it really is junk.

Confidence. You're confident in yourself and what you want to achieve. You're comfortable in all kinds of situations. You know your worth and you are going for what you deserve (a hot chick). You go out of your comfort zone, and have a good self-image.

You're in control of all of your emotions and don't shift moods frequently. You are a rock holding fast against the storm of emotions that is a woman. She will cry, yell, rage, scream, laugh, and during all of that your mood does not shift, you hold your frame, and you remain calm and collected. And same must hold true for any life situation. You never crack under pressure. You never EVER show major weakness in front of a girl. And don't even think about crying in front of her. That is the harbinger of death for any relationship. Don't believe me? Go ahead and do it. I will see you again soon. If you have to vent to someone, vent to your bros.

Congruency. You're authentic. You do not bottle things up inside yourself, you speak what is on your mind, and if something is not to your liking, you say it. What you feel, you throw out into the world. The things that you are speaking about are also the things you do, and you behave like you present yourself. You are aware of all aspects of yourself, even the bad ones, and you accept them (but work on fixing them). Nobody likes a faker.

Essentially, be a fit, stable person that doesn't react to people's bullshit. If someone messes with you, and you lose control, you're not stable. If someone (a small girl) can make you lose it, then you are not a leader, you do not have a high survival value. You can't affect what someone else is doing (messing with you). But you absolutely can affect your reaction and response to it. If you get mad because of a girl, don't blame her. Blame yourself for allowing it.

Taking care of people close to you

Have a "feeling" for others. For some people this comes naturally. For me, it never did. I've often had women (girls I was with, my female friends, my sister) tell me "I find it really amazing when a man has respect for, and helps out his mother/sister". Understand that this does not mean they are some paragons of moral virtue that are attracted to kindness. They don't know why this is important to them, but they know it is, and this is why: If a woman sees you taking care of people that are close to you, then she will subconsciously understand that, if she becomes a close person to you, you will also take care of her (gang example above). Carry the bags for your mother/sister/girl. If you don't, you're a failure as a man.

Treating people that cannot do anything for you well. For example, a waiter. Treat a waiter as a human being, not as a wageslave. This is a rare bit of advice that women give out that actually works. Even on Reddit I've seen it upvoted, and it's actually true for once. Nobody wants to be with a shitty person that treats others like dirt.

Do not put others down. Instead, lift them up. Be a person that is not looking to tear people down. Rather, help the people you surround yourself with reach their full potential. This will make you well liked by others, not just the girl you are trying to impress. Do you really want to be friends with someone that shit-talks others, let alone be in a relationship with that person?

Always defend your friends/family when necessary, even if they're not necessarily in the right. Afterwards, if you think they may not have been, move them to the side and discuss it with them, but always defend them in front of the others.

Having a feeling for plants and animals will show that you can take care of other living things. Women love it when a man is good with animals. If he's good with animals, he can probably be good at taking care of a kid as well. And walking a dog is a great "hook" to start a conversation with dog-loving women.

Do small things such as giving her a jacket when it's cold, or asking if she got home safely. Show that you care.

In short, be the protector that you're meant to be as a leader of your family. If you can't "protect" your friends or your sister/mother how will you protect your future child?

Successfully taking risks

A man that is able to successfully take risks is a man that has a high survival value. Note the "successful" part. Don't be stupid, it's about taking calculated risks, not being a dumbass that gets himself killed.

Do stuff that gets your heart rate pumping, and your testosterone going. There's a reason girls love being driven around at really high speeds, and it's not because they feel like dying. Doing stuff that gets your heart rate up with girls will make them react to you more strongly. Google "Misattribution of arousal" and the related research.

Why do men fall in love with their female friends? Because with them, they experience something different than with their male friends. When men hang out, they shoot the shit, have fun, play around, do physical stuff together. But they don't ask each other how they're feeling, or if they're okay. When a female friend does that, men get a little bit confused. The confusion turns into feelings of love.

When women hang out with their friends, they share feelings with one another. They talk. And they talk. And they talk... They don't do a whole lot of physical stuff. So, when you do physical stuff with a girl, she will start feeling something different. You will get her just as confused in turn. And that confusion will turn into the feelings we are after.

Everyone's level of how far they're willing to go is different. I am not telling you go skydiving if that's not something you're into. Just do physical activities with the girl, the more intense the better. I've noticed that the better I got with this stuff, the more I actually wanted to do physically active things, rather than be in front of a computer. It becomes natural.

There are not many other ways to demonstrate successful risk-taking in front of a girl, but bringing up successful examples of risks from the past that paid off for you is something you can do (recall the example I gave about what I say when asked what I do). In general, mentioning any of these 5 biological triggers in a conversation is good, but don't autistically do it like a robot, checking out a list. Speak as you do, and if it the opportunity presents itself, smoothly slide an attractive quality of yours into the conversation. Don't make it come off as bragging, or fake. Remember that the feelings you transfer to the girl are a lot more important than the actual content of your words. If the way you talk about this stuff is weird/off and fake, you can be saying all the right things, but will still have no effect on the girl.

The zone state

The zone state is a state where you've completely rid yourself of any social pressure. You can say whatever is on your mind, in front of anyone, and you do not question "is what I'm about to say stupid/worthy?" It's when you're having so much fun, when you don't have a single care in the world and when you're not afraid of anyone. When you're in "the zone state" you will naturally demonstrate that you are relaxed, confident, in good energy, and will naturally be attractive to women.

Does that description remind you of anything? Remember the saying: "Only three types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk, and the angry." There's a reason people drink alcohol, and for most it is not the taste. Drinking to a reasonable extent (think tipsy, not drunk) will get you into the zone state by itself. It's not called liquid courage for no reason. Alcohol is a "cheat" to get into the zone state, but you don't want to be the guy that can "only have fun when drunk". Instead, I'll teach you how to get into the zone state by yourself, without the need for booze (but it is still an option if all else fails).

The way to get into the zone state is to "unplug" yourself from the social pressure. There are 3 different parts of yourself that you need to unplug:

• The social part of yourself (being okay with talking to people in general)
• The kinetic/seduction part of yourself (being okay with touching/expressing your desire through touch)
• The sexual part of yourself (being okay with your sexuality, and your deepest desires for her)

Maybe you have a friend that "can talk to anyone", but when it comes to the girl he likes he always fucks it up? He unplugged the first level, but not the other two, and unplugging all three is necessary in order to be a highly attractive man. Unplugging yourself has to be done in order. If you're not okay with talking to someone, how in the hell are you going to touch them, or make a move on them? You don't shift from the first gear into the fifth immediately, it all has to go in order.

To unplug the social part of yourself, you can do social exercises to get more comfortable at talking to people in general. When actually "out in the field", just begin talking to anyone. Then the next person, and then the next. It's known as the "scapegoat" tactic, to first "approach" a girl you are not at all interested in, to "get the ball rolling". You will see it is not so scary, and can then freely talk with whomever it is you are actually interested in.

Unplugging the kinetic part of yourself requires you to get comfortable with touching, and being touched. Start slow with simple, socially acceptable areas of touch, then move onto the "hotter" areas. It should not be difficult to pat a girl on the shoulder/back, but it doesn't quite generate a lot of passion between the two of you. You will eventually progress to being comfortable with holding the girl you met an hour ago by the thigh while she's speaking to you, getting up in her face, playing with her hair, even holding her by the back of the neck.

This part is commonly known as "kino", and I will go deeper into it in a future lesson, and about how to "smoothly" progress with it.

To unplug the sexual part of yourself, you need to be comfortable expressing your intentions to the girl. Do not hide your desire for her. Talk about sex, and sex related topics. The society and media shames you for being open with it, but you must forget about all of that. Remember, girls are not angelic innocent beings who hate sex (lesson #3). They fucking love it, probably more than we do. Just remember that part when you're talking to her, and treat her like she's more horny than you are. Your "shame" will evaporate, and in its place comes fun and passion.

When you're in the zone state your head will not be filled with pointless thoughts about what to say, and you will just do, instead. You won't care what anybody says, as a leader doesn't. You will "radiate" sexuality. It won't be about "who can I attract", but rather it will be about "who am I attracted enough to, and who is able to match and follow my energy?" The girl will immediately notice you in a different way. "There's just something about him", she will say, as you make the moves on her. And the two of you will have all the more fun for it.

Those are the main 5 biological triggers you will demonstrate, plus the zone state, but there are others, such as the subconscious attraction triggers (you can reread lesson #2 for those). There's a lot left to go through when it comes to demonstrating you value, but the lesson is becoming too long, so I have to split it. Next time we will go over buyer vs seller mentality, push/pull, a whole lot of other stuff, and we will finally go over shit tests and how to respond to them. Stay tuned.

There we go, that was the lesson. Phew, that's a lot of reading isn't it? Anyway, if you would like to read more of these, they are on this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/1GyR5vwLjd9ZA31sZafI4hx7NRS3g9YpU

It's a google drive link with simple text files, no registration or anything necessary. There's optionally a discord mentioned in lesson #0 if you would like to join it and ask questions directly/get notified for updates.

Hope this helped and you enjoyed!