Just wanna share a little bit of my day with you guys. Went to Marshalls to look for some shorts with 7" inseam and discounted well, didn't find that but picked up some Kappa apparel which didn't fit so is up on ebay. Did get another quality, stretchy dress shirt for under $20 as well as some socks I needed. Last time I was there I was in dire need of shirts. I used to be a small, but from the last 10 months of lifting I've been promoted to a large. Before the shopping trip I only had 1 shirt that was a medium and 0 larges. I'd workout and go out in public in these awkwardly fitting smalls or a tank top which lowered my SMV on specific occasions (like the bars). Now I got many large sized shirts with decent logos and that fit well, and a selection of dress shirts.

Today I bought 3 pairs of skate shoes and snagged some gel inserts from Walmart. I used to have some plantar fasciitis when I was a kid so I was wearing running shoes almost exclusively. That went away eventually, and it was observed I was flat footed. So had to continue to wear arch support (running shoes plus orthotics) which I believe fucked up the strength of my ankles and the connecting tissue there. I believe my condition gradually worsened which is why at 18 I was diagnosed with Posterior Tibial Tendonitis. Collapsing ankles and constant pain, but was advised to keep up the arch support. My pain was chronic, and couple that with the inability to do much of anything physically lead to depression.

It's a long rehabilitation journey and I wasn't making progress. During the start and middle of my rehabilitation I was mostly sitting due the ankles and gaming for entertainment. I would use a wheel chair to get around the house and sometimes crutches (age 19-21). I could walk, but I limited myself to very short and quick intervals, so I started getting back into lifting. It was painful, but I got a high pain tolerance and threshold so I endured, it was good for me. For whatever reason, I couldn't bring myself to bring my wheel chair in with me to the gym. I didn't want to be seen that way, it would weaken me. Social life was also nonexistent living in rural south and all social attempts I made weren't reciprocated. It wasn't ideal, but there was probably something off with me, and my SMV was a solid 3.5.

In the months following that I continued to play video games and lift. But then a perspective change was starting to take place in the following weeks. I call it my "coming to senses" moment. It's as if red pill truth was slowly dripping into my mind and saturating it. I think that change can be largely attributed to me hating my shitty life, and escaping with video games wasn't cutting it. So then I resumed watching Rollo Tomassi's videos to reeducate myself on TRP, while also trying to figure out why my ankles and low leg muscles were dysfunctional.

In October (2021) my family and I went to Branson, MI. I had to spend most of my time around the town in crutches or a wheel chair. I hated my life, "Never again" I told myself as in when I return I won't be needing a crutch. In December of 2021 I found my answer to why I wasn't healing. So started that and then resumed physical therapy. I was finally seeing results and thus regaining strength. I've basically rehabilitated myself from my tendinopathy, but am still doing exercises to rebuild my arches. All that arch support just gradually weakened my foot muscles to the point where my tendon was lifting a load it couldn't handle. Try putting your arm in a cast to support it next time you get a bruise and watch it atrophy. So I'm permanently out with the running shoes and dedicated arch support now.

My feet can handle my weight now. Also I was a bit of an unusual case because I had another soft tissue condition that affected my progress re-strengthening everything. My aunt is full of connective tissue and soft tissue problems, so there may be a genetic component to it. I even got calcified scar tissue building on the bottom of my foot which I combat with a metal instrument that looks like brass knuckles to break it down, and it's working lol! So really it has been one thing after another with my health (from 18-22). That saying is true: health is wealth.

So there's the back story. 0 pain relief, 0 social life, 0 income, 0 sexual validation. Hopefully you see now why I get excited about skate shoes and gel inserts, it's signifies progress and will be healthier for my feet. They're stylish and won't ruin my outfit unlike bulky, out of place support shoes. These same feet are going to be able to take me place now. My legs will blow up fast since I'm restarting leg day (it's been years). Tomorrow it's off to Kohls or Levis for standard fit jeans / pants and some shorts. Slim fit jeans aren't made for us lifters. Gonna grab a fresh haircut too. Today was my community college's orientation, I'll make a post about it tomorrow.

Going to finish reading Deep Work by Cal Newport within the next couple days, timing it just right for school.

It takes a village to raise a child. I'm red pilled, but young. You guys are the mentors, thank you so much.