This story made my blood boil extra because in my beta days I was like this. Never again... God I feel so fucking stupid lol just reading it from the other side, my instinct was right even in my BP days and I could sense this stuff was happening, but couldn't actualize it into words or conscious thoughts. I'm posting this more for myself than you guys so I can come back to this on my profile later and reflect.
Link: https://archive.is/Jmqlz
So, I've never had a 'healthy' relationship. My first (and longest) relationship was a codependent mess which had insane highs and crashing lows.
Basic Push/Pull.
I deeply loved him, obsessed over him, even though in hindsight he treated me terribly, and of course it ended disastrously, taking me years to get over. I've tried dating other guys since then but either they weren't interested and just used me for sex, or I'd realise I was just using them for validation, and nothing ever lasted. I eventually gave up on dating and up until recently, I'd been happily single for about a year.
Notice how she says "I was just using them for validation". Every man would love to be used for validation if they can in return use you for sex. It's the whole premise of the friendzone and nice guys finishing last. The thing is... she only wants validation from alphas, not the beta billy in this story who I'll get to in a moment. This bitch's hamster is strong, she claims to be using the alphas when you notice that she never mentions exchanging sex to "use" the beta in this story for validation... because the beta's opinion doesn't matter.
The thing is, he's smart and funny and super nice and actually likes me. He genuinely listens to me, he cares about my interests and remembers things I've told him, and he doesn't play arbitrary relationship games (all of which I'm not used to in the slightest).
Oh wow... super nice? She must be so aroused from being treated so well. I mean, we see all these BP notions in mainstream society about how chores are the sexiest thing a man can do for foreplay and all that other shit right? Surely, this introspective and self-aware and bold empowered woman is head over heels for the guy who treated her the best... right?
However, I don't feel like I like him as much as I should. I certainly do like him and I love hanging out with him, and the romantic, intimate stuff is pretty good. But compared to past relationships, as disastrous as they were, this one feels almost ... boring in comparison.
Oof... it almost stings more when you hear females saying it. You study RP for years, almost memorize the sidebar, yet somewhere deep in side you sorta hope RP isn't true, that you're proven wrong. But once the RP lens is on your eyes, you can't ever close them.
I don't crave to be with him, I don't get wild fireworks when he kisses me, I don't feel my heart flutter when I get a text from him. I do feel a strong sense of affection that's almost a weird mix of close friendship and 'this guy is a dork and I really like kissing him'. And for the first time ever, I almost prefer just hanging out in his kitchen and making dinner together to being intimate (which is totally opposite to past relationships that were mostly built around sex).
Okay. Let me ask you guys this (newcomers). Would you rather be the guy who she gets wild fireworks for when you kiss her, who's heart flutters from just a text from you, and who prefers having sex with you than to do a chore like making dinner together? And has sex with you most of the time? Or do you wanna be the guy who she thinks of literally as a dork and a "close friend"? You need to shed BP fantasies because they're not gonna make the bitch fall head over heels for you. TRP does that, or at least it can if you utilize it properly.
So I've been wondering how much of that lack of intensity is due to him not being right for me, or if it's because he is right for me. Maybe I don't get fireworks when we kiss because he freely kisses me all the time without making me work for it. Maybe my heart doesn't flutter when he texts because I know he'll always text back without making me wait for hours on end. Maybe I don't constantly think about him and crave his presence because I know he'll be there when I need him. Maybe the intensity isn't there because I don't have to fight for his attention, or walk on eggshells, or agonise about him not being there for me. I know I feel a sense of warmth, of contentment, when I think about him, and when we're together there's not really anywhere else I'd rather be. Maybe that's enough?
That's exactly right. She doesn't get fireworks from kisses because Chad's kisses are in USD, whereas the beta's kisses are in Pesos. Showering her with affection isn't gonna make her feel the most passionate she possibly could about you. You need to understand that you need to man up and escape BP conditioning, and relearn gender dynamics and social structure from an unbiased and scientific perspective. Do you want her to constantly think about you and crave your presence? Then you heard from her own mouth what you need to do... women drop gems when complaining, they just don't realize it. I was watching Youtube vids a long time ago on fuckboys, and women who complained admitted that they felt a thrill about them and they chased them ruthlessly. You have to make her crave your attention. Oh, and this bitch is completely lying about there not being anywhere else she'd rather be... she literally admitted before that she doesn't feel the same attraction and intensity with the beta that she did with the Chads... if Chad called her up she'd easily drop the beta to spend more time with who she's really attracted to.
TLDR: A lot of newcomers will fall into the same trap I did. They'll be hesitant to apply their extensive knowledge of TRP because they crave true romance. You need to drill into your head that the BP will NOT get you to that romantic place, it'll just stifle your progress and make her lose interest and find the relationship boring. TRP is way more effective for making her attracted to you, the girl in this post admitted it over and over. I know some of you guys want love, like me, but before you get love you have to conquer the pussy sexually and get lust first. And train her to crave your kisses, affection, attention, etc. THEN you'll know what's it's like to have a girl head over heels crazy about you... and in occasional bouts of passion at that point, you can feel the most intense romantic connection you ever will. TBP doesn't get you love... TRP is way more effective for making her cherish, crave, and almost worship you.
Edit: Also forgot to mention this gem, credit to Beegoop.
I deeply loved him, obsessed over him, even though in hindsight he treated me terribly, and of course it ended disastrously, taking me years to get over.
You could read that 2 ways... one is on-the-surface, and the other is "guys, if you wanna make me deeply love you and obsess over you, here's what you do". Read between the lines.
VasiliyZaitzev 4y ago
"Damaged girl is damaged....film at 11."
legend503 4y ago
But when I treat women like shit they hate me.
Like why do they love some assholes?
If I'm neglectful, hard reading or whatever they just call me mean
Patric_MasterBateman 4y ago
"Maybe I don't get fireworks when we kiss
because he freely kisses me all the time without making me work for it.
​
Maybe my heart doesn't flutter when he texts
because I know he'll always text back without making me wait for hours on end.
​
Maybe I don't constantly think about him and crave his presence
because I know he'll be there when I need him"
​
This is powerful. Dread these girls. Even if you have feelings for her. Don't text them back right away. Learn Push / Pull. Don't always answer her calls. Sometimes take an hour to reply. Don't always be available. Sometimes tell her you can't hangout. And always, always have a couple girls on the go.
INNASKILLZ2K18 4y ago
Funny thing is, after a while the anger will subside and it all just makes perfect sense.
Women need emotional tension. It's not rocket science.
They are attracted to anxiety, doubt, confusion, dread, indifference, aloofness, push/pull, the chase. It all creates emotional tension in her.
This guy sounds predictable, boring and same old same old.
Shit doesn't need to be toxic, either. Just that toxic guys creat a world of chaos.
You can totally have your shit together and still create tension
DiSysmic 4y ago
Emotional tension is definitely up there. Stirring the girl's imagination has been one of the greatest tools at our disposition in creating dread and it has been widely discussed here too.
There isn't any indication saying that dude #2 is a blue-pilled beta. He might very well be an alpha who has more set boundaries than dude #1 and, as a consequence of that, became too predictable/boring in her eyes. Thus her attraction for dude #2 is way too overshadowed by being alpha-widowed by dude #1.
Definitely. But this post doesn't reflect that.
7GreatOne11 4y ago
A wise man characterized them as agents of chaos. They initialize, crave, and are enticed by it. C'est la vie.
​
In the long run, your anger and bitterness won't win out against their nature just as raging at a thunderstorm won't keep you dry or prevent you from being strike down by lightning.
​
The only thing you can do is to wisely use your knowledge to carefully navigate your way around them without being destroyed by them. Once again, that's life. It's not fair or whatever other preconceived misconceptions of just that you falsely associate when dealing with them. It's just life. Use your knowledge or accept oblivion.
INNASKILLZ2K18 4y ago
I agree with all of that. That's where true wisdom in the game comes in.
gjfarma 4y ago
Could you expand more on creating tension without being the alpha jackass?
INNASKILLZ2K18 4y ago
Find out who you are. Don't be afraid to really qualify a girl. Don't pander, supplicate or try to win her approval.
Do what you want, and invite her to follow, but never show your true hand.
Legitimately qualify, get her thinking 'this guy really has his shit together and doesn't put me on a pedestal. I wonder if he actually likes me or not'.
Emotional tension is a natural thing if you're in your authentic self. Nobody just 'gets along' 100%. Tease her answers. Break her balls a little. Don't be afraid to say no and put yourself first.
YesIamALizard 4y ago
I have found this out too late in life, but are there any videos that cover this in more detail? Like what to actually do?
bouncypoo 4y ago
1) be attractive
2) don't be unattractive
iintrOOutroo 4y ago
​
One story like this a day, keeps BP tendencies away.
The_Chiselnator 4y ago
3...2.....1.....she is munching alpha cockas very soon behind this chump's back.
Don't be nice to women. They hate it.
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Project_Zero_Betas 4y ago
Come here for the sex, stay for the economics.
David-Trace 4y ago
This line is a gem. I never knew currency can be used in such a way to make an idea perfectly clear.
I-am-ed 4y ago
man that line, im from philippines and that stunged me but fuck that was spot on
MeansToABenz 4y ago
Holy did that line make me howl.
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farminggil 4y ago
Alright this is a great fucking submission. She literally says it all herself. You cannot EVER love her in the way she expects to be loved in her little fantasy. So why not capitalize on something that’s actually effective?
S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 4y ago
Thanks bro, I'll post more often soon to give back to TRP for how much it helped me.
MishtaBiggles 4y ago
I couldn’t imagine living in a mental Hell women permanently occupy. where the obsession of dating someone is to get the person to give up pursuing other women, commit, be solely showered with attention and love; to essentially conquer them. And WHEN achieved and the man has given you his hand THE BRAIN RESETS the love and fireworks are gone and the emotional apparatus seeks the same detrimental behavior all over again
youngovopreach 4y ago
These are the kind of posts I save and come back to at least once a week. Great stuff OP.
SlimeWizard 4y ago
Couldn’t have said it better, this is why TRP exists. Some hawk eyed soul finally realized what “disinterested” men were doing right with women by doing (what BP will think) is completely wrong, and why it WORKED
farminggil 4y ago
To me the ‘why’ is very important because it grants a true understanding of RP principles rather than crude memorization. There’s no need to study study and study Rollo (eternal monk mode) for specific situations if you have a core understanding of the ‘why.’ You won’t need to remember what to do—you can figure it out on the spot. To me that’s the right way to approach RP sexual strategy.
Kind of a side note, but you mentioned the ‘why’ and it made me think of that. Thanks for your comment.
SlimeWizard 4y ago
100% agreement over here. This example is an easy-to-understand “picture book” rather than a college text volume that needs to be studied
topmatrixgun 4y ago
Could you please elaborate on the understanding of the 'why' part.
bouncypoo 4y ago
only a man who values himself can afford to be selfish. If he loves(selfishness) himself more than he loves me(and maintains that frame), than I must "love " him too. (she falls into your frame)
cat_magnet 4y ago
She has lost her ability to pairbond from being pumped and dumped so many times. This is why n count matters in LTR selection.
dukes1998 4y ago
This has nothing to do with being pumped and dumped did you not read it? It has to do with a girl having her expectations for a relationship be based around her first and very toxic boyfriend.
Everyone is reading into it but it shouldn’t be taken as anything other than a case study about how horrible relationships with narcissists (or BPD people, because what she describes sounds a lot like my BPD ex) are and how you can get addicted to the high highs and low lows. It doesn’t even have anything to do with pair bonding as a guy whose this toxic is far from alpha and she’ll realize that once she works out her own issues that have emerged from the relationship. People who are this hot and cold are as beta and emotional as they come and there are much better ways to make a girl addicted to you than to play fucked up mind games.
umizumiz 4y ago
BPD is the first thing I thought of. If she's still recovering from that mindfuck, hell yeah she's confused as shit.
JustinG13 4y ago
I second this, cluster B personality disorders and the process in which abusers treat the victim is akin to drug addiction. Cortisol is released into the body when an abuse or traumatic event takes place but then is replaced by dopamine during the reconciliation phase of the cycle. Abuses and the cyclical pattern they follow continue to happen typically seven or more times before the victim either realizes what is going on or is broken down mentally with each event becoming significantly more traumatic. Once the victim escapes the toxic relationship they typically find it hard because normal relationships seem boring to them as they are not constantly on edge having those two hormones spike in their bodies.
There is a time when alpha widowed and pair bonding cause a woman to behave the way other commenters are describing but I don’t believe this is one of those times.
8380atgmaildotcom 4y ago
Loving the pseudoscience. This is conjecture founded upon knowing a few big words.
Add GABA in there and talk about how it inhibits relationship formation or some other bullshit
swagswag1000 4y ago
i was thinking the same thing. This girls story is not at all a good example of the pair bond thing.
It's clearly a cut and dry example of a very broken girl who is addicted to guys who treat her like shit.
She is not the norm. not that she's uncommon but it's not like every other girl just loves abusive guys ffs.
Project_Zero_Betas 4y ago
Ya but don't tell this sub that lil' piece of info, you'd swear half these posters hang around high schools looking for find a wife with "low n-count for pairbonding" smdh
mrbluesdude 4y ago
I went through one of these relationships and you're absolutely correct. If I find a quality girl who's actually into me and treats me well I get bored and the relationship dies. Do you have any advice for dealing with this or am I just fucked at this point? The toxic relationship was years ago and it's still messing up my life.
swagswag1000 4y ago
RSD JULIEN.
​
he talks about this a lot.
a summary of his perspective on it would be this: If you have low self esteem and deep down feel like you ain't shit. you don't respond to people treating you well, you want someone who you constantly need to chase their approval.
​
I used to be like this tbh. I used to find myself most attracted to girls that were distant and unnatainable. my dream girls were the aloof ones who acted like they barely liked you even when they did. I felt SUUUPER uncomfortable with girls being really affectionate and into me. Like it felt plain wrong. I fully felt like I didn't deserve it. One time I even text my friend asking "is this bitch crazy" about this hot af girl who sent me a good morning text the night after I pulled her form the club. Like i thought "i ain't shit and this hot girl texts me the next day and really likes me, she must have BPD or something".
It basically comes from emotional addictions and what you feel you deserve. If you think low of yourself, then you feel very uncomfortable with people who think highly of you. so you need someone distant and unnatainable cos that's your comfort zone.
I just wanna say there is DEFINITELY light at the end of the tunnel. For me it came with just working on my inner beliefs and increasing my self esteem and starting to like myself and think I was awesome. Now I get bored with girls who DON'T show high interest. Like if she isn't showing high interest I don't want anything to do with her cos it's like quite playing games and shit.
also next time you meet a girl who is really cool and a great match for you and you get that urge to leave... don't. I had that urge the first time I dated a girl who was really into me and I almost dumped her but instead I said fuck it and stuck with her. that was out of my comfort zone but it made realise how much better it is being with someone who appreciates you.
Aloof girls and shit are just silly to me, even though their approval used to be like crack to me. now i want a girl who will treat me how I see myself which is the shit.
INNASKILLZ2K18 4y ago
This is big. You will often find women who are in constant toxic relationships have low self esteem.
It's why I commented on here that you can have your shit together, and still create tension. If you're simply toxic in your relationships you won't attract quality.
I work with people who have histories of shit relationships and almost all of them will say 'it's all I thought I deserved.'
mrbluesdude 4y ago
I love RSD, maybe I will check out some of Julien's new stuff. Thanks man I appreciate it
weroafable 4y ago
https://www.youtube.com/user/ajmahari
bsutansalt 4y ago
It's this mixed with being alpha widowed.
Our ancestors were wise to limit options and clamp down on indiscriminate sex by having women married off by 20 or so. 40 years of women's lib and the destruction of relationships throughout western society that it has left in its wake bares this out in painstaking detail.
For those who may be wondering what the magic number is... it's 3. If you're #4 or more, then you're likely to have serious issues down the road IF you want a monogamous long-term relationship like your parents or grandparents did. Otherwise just accept it's only your turn.
Nightshade37 4y ago
I absolutely believe it is 3. My wife (soon to be ex-wife because we are separated at the moment) cheated on me during our first year of marriage with a Chad at her work. Prior to that, I was the 4th person she had slept with. Pair bonding is everything for LTR's and I was naive about this.
swagswag1000 4y ago
yo man, is it legit 3. like for real is that true? cos if so that's insane, like damn.
askmrcia 4y ago
I usually go with 3 because one was a serious boyfriend, the other one was short term and the third is a ons.
That ons is pushing it, but I can understand if a chick is out partying and drinking for once and felt the need to do it.
bsutansalt 4y ago
From another thread the other day...
> It's been proven the sexual liberation women are going to has caused a series of massive negative affects. Women destroy their ability to pair bond when they've slept with more than 3 men. Each one after 3, the inability to pair bond increases exponentially.
> http://archive.is/SibpU <-- https://ifstudies.org/blog/does-sexual-history-affect-marital-happiness
> http://archive.is/Agc9L <-- https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/10/sexual-partners-and-marital-happiness/573493/
> Once a woman reaches 6-10 partners, she has a 50% chance of having a happy marriage. 6-10 partners is exceptionally low when you talk to the liberated female types.
And then there's the Teachman study...
http://archive.is/IJY2W
https://i.imgur.com/o193058.jpg
The best answer I can give is the closer to ZERO previous partners the better.
jewishsupremacist88 4y ago
the divorce stats ive read say 6 or 7 is maximum. anything more than that and the odds of divorce shoot up substantially.
sloppydickwater 4y ago
The law of three is pretty relevant in reality, I wouldn’t be surprised at this point.
raspburry 4y ago
There is no fucking way this golden number is 3. Girls are hitting that number before they are 30. Ridiculous.
YesIamALizard 4y ago
They hit that before 20 now.
antariusz 4y ago
I’d say you’re probably closer to 6-7 by 20, at minimum.
Papiless 4y ago
Nah dude, I'd say it's easily over 10 for most women at age 20.
geo_gan 4y ago
They hit that before 16 now.
yungassed 4y ago
The real number is actually more than 0, but thats pretty impossible to get nowadays and comes with its own issues. I forgot the source but there was a study showing numbers of sexually partners and its correlation with ability to pair bond. For females it showed that for every additional partner, her ability to pair bond is it significantly diminishes until it gets past 3 where it bottomed out at something like 0.2 if I remember correctly. For men, the drop was pretty much insignificant with only a minor drop for each additional partner. A man would have to sleep with hundreds of women to diminish their pair bonding capabilities to the same extent a women would with only a handful.
darklogic420 4y ago
https://www.medinstitute.org/articles/pair-bonding-and-the-brain/
Was this the study you were talking about?
calicotrinket 4y ago
Wow, talk about a massive red pill for BPers who want to 'turn a slut straight' - as I have thought of in the past - when it's explained like this.
Are there any similar studies to this carried out on humans?
darklogic420 4y ago
Plenty. Too many to list in the spare time I have right now. You can just google studies on sexual partner count (both in and out of scholar mode) and let the horrors be unleashed in the results.
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SemiLoquacious 4y ago
You can go higher but that's if a few of them were bad experiences, as in, unable to get it up scenarios
swagswag1000 4y ago
but BRUH like no hot girls these days have N counts that low. like where the fuck would you find that. That's damn near impossible to find a girl who's got everything you want in a woman but ALSO a super low N count I mean bruh how. how do you do that.
Imperator_Red 4y ago
Exactly. That’s why TRP doesn’t recommend relationships.
Alphabetron1 4y ago
They're out there you're just not going to find them on apps. Actually was hanging with a 7.5 plate the other day and her friends got to talking and her solid 9 friend actually didn't lose her virginity until she was 20. The 7.5 plate lost her virginity to me when she was 22. Probably both lied but it's surprising.
omega_dawg93 4y ago
girls have a LOT of sex that, "didn't count."
you can believe the LIES they tell you all you want, but they've been fucked... don't believe their bullshit bc FACTS do NOT matter to their feelings (about themselves).
if you're gonna deal with women, you have to accept (IN REAL TERMS) that they can fuck a guy and LITERALLY dismiss it as, "it didn't count."
i've had girls overtly say to me: "you know i have a boyfriend... so why are we doing this? ok... let's do it, but 'it won't count,' ok?" and we fucked... and it counted (to me).
swagswag1000 4y ago
ditch the 7.5 G, get that 9 in ya life ;)
lookoutitscaleb 4y ago
I know a few women who were virgins before marrying their husbands.
All of them are very religious and grew up in extremely religious homes.
brabg 4y ago
How do you know? Did you a virginity test on them? Are you a doctor?
lookoutitscaleb 4y ago
No. I followed them around every second of every day until they married their husbands.
Can confirm you're still a virgin.
askmrcia 4y ago
You can tell or have a good idea based on their lifestyle.
If they spend most of their free time with family and don't go out and party than chances are they are not sleeping around.
brabg 4y ago
"chances" mean that it is just wishful thinking.
​
Women go to the church to fuck the priest. Religion means nothing. I have 2 cousins who are catholic priests, and they fuck the church women all the time.
deathhandmachiavelli 4y ago
I give this woman a LOT of credit for honestly saying what turns her on and what doesn't.
I also give her credit for having this introspection which is very uncommon.
I have a female friend who went through the same thing. She told me that when she finally found the first great guy who actually treated her well, she kept thinking something was wrong with him. She noticed that she was having a hard time even seeing him as a real man because he treated her well.
She eventually settled down with the guy. Although the guy isn't a loser, a beta, or anything like that. He is still strong, solid, and well put together. But not being the bad boy that she was used to being in a relationship made him boring initially.
They are still together.
She had uncommon insight for actually making this observation (just as the girl in this original post).
Nicolas0631 4y ago
To me, the best compromize for us men is to be both alpha & beta. Alpha that we play the game, have abundance & frame and do not hesitate to go our own way. Beta to still be decent overall and not giving up on our provider role.
This isn't being overly kind or romantic and accepting her bullshit. All the opposite, you truely care of your wife, but you do not accept bad behavior and you maintain a clear frame and direction in your life. It is a bit like a great master or boss that is truely caring but that will not accept any bullshit.
SamVimesFucksDimes 4y ago
Agreed. Self awareness is rare.
Gotta wonder how long that'll pan out for them though. If they wan't their happily ever after they'd better hope she gets too old to swing before she meets some chad looking to settle for a night.
swagswag1000 4y ago
I think a requirement for dating a girl seriously is a girl who has that kind of introspection.
My ex was like that, She was scientist. She was good at putting aside her emotions to be rational. It was one of my favourite things about her.
obviously she was still girly and emotional BUT she was not too shabby at being rational in that way guys are.
Alphabetron1 4y ago
If a girl doesn't have any introspection take my word of advice and never promote her past a plate. Those kinds of girls are usually brain dead and will hop to whatever is the best dick around no matter what.
Have also noticed that girls with introspection usually can pair bond at a higher N-count but that's through just my experiences.
swagswag1000 4y ago
yeah introspection is pretty much a must have.
For example my ex cheated on both her ex's. she was 16 years old and 18 years old the times she did it.
when she told me that I was like "oh snap not relationship material".
However we were talking after we'd broken up, having friendly convo, and she was saying how wrong she was to do that and how she knows how bad she fucked up. she was also saying about how she will from now on only get in a relationship with guys she's 100% sure she can stay faithful with. she also said how from now on if she ever felt the urge to cheat she'd just break up with the guy cos she knows she's not into him anymore.
NOW, I'm aware that girls talk shit but IMO we were not together anymore when she said this so why would she lie. and secondly even if what she said she doesn't 100% stick to, it's still very impressive that she didn't just hamster away that it was the guys fault etc etc. Like I respected that she was able to admit her faults and say how she would do better next time. and she wasn't doing it to make her look good to me since we'd already broken up and she was the one who initiated the break up so she wasn't trying to get me back.
POITN BEING, that kind of introspection is rare and very impressive, gives you hope that she could actually change and become better. It's also not a coincedence IMO that she was VERY intelligent, a scientist, and top of her class.
who knows she could be full of shit, but hey I was still impressed by her ability to take accountability and think about how to improve.
she had loads of red flags: the cheating thing, had nose piercing, had a small tattoo, smoker
but also loads loads of green flags: great relationship with father and mother, super intelligent, self aware and introspective, took accountability for her actions.
no ones perfect but frankly with those green flags I could actually see her eventually becoming LTR worthy one day.
there are women out there who take accountability and are introspective but I think a prerequisite for that is that they be intelligent and have the ability to think rationally.
Atheist_Utopia 4y ago
That sounds like a great feature of her. Why did you break up?
swagswag1000 4y ago
basically, put it this way, I found TRP half way through the relationship, out of necessity.
i was actually super Pimp at the beginning for the first like 5 months cos I was into PUA for 3 years before i met her and slept with a bunch of girls before eventually having something more serious. I just never knew about red pill dynamics in relationships. Like i was purple pill. I was red pill with "plates" but was BP af with her when I caught feelings and went beta on her. That then led me to find TRP through Patrice O'neal cos of how things were going down hill with her.
The weirdest part was that at the time when I was most beta I was actually fucking a couple hotter girls on the side as well. but TBH i liked her so much more than the other ones cos we were a really good match personality wise. so even with better looking options I STILL got oneitis.
anyway, i basically had NO idea about the red pill and how relationships were ACTUALLY supposed to work so i made a FUCK load of mistakes which just led her attraction to decrease and decrease.
Anyway the funny part is that we ended up breaking up on kind of good terms cos i started applying red pill principles half way through but i wasn't learning fast enough to fix shit.
so eventually it just ended.
Also i wanna say that the red pill seems to never address the issue that you can still easily get oneitis for a girl even when fucking other girls on the side who are hotter. Because I actually got oneitis for her personality, like i would have traded the other girls in a second for her.
anyway in conclusion, we broke up cos I was blue pill as far as relationships go. I don't have any regrets cos live and learn but I am confident that if I knew about TRP before I met her we would still be going very very strong.
Atheist_Utopia 4y ago
Aha I see. Thanks for sharing your story.
randomTATRP 4y ago
THANK YOU. How the FUCK do you fix this???
swagswag1000 4y ago
I don't know, i think you'd have to love the personalities of all your other plates or something. or just don't be a codependent mofo who catches feelings all the time.
randomTATRP 4y ago
hahaha, it is the second, as i have thought.
i started reading up on codependency and i may try to get rid of it somehow but it's hard since it's something that's been sticking with you for your whole fucking life.
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[deleted] 4y ago
One thing to note is the “alpha” here doesn’t necessarily mean better as a man in looks, status, etc
Often it does. But a bad boy mentality goes a very far way and I’ve seen good looking guys get cucked hard by being too nice
Zdeneksfilter 4y ago
Heartiste put it best.... the best measuring stick for whom an 'alpha' is, is not the scale of his acts of valor or even his mastery over other men... but how many women he's been with and how heavy his draw on the opposite sex is. That he is good looking, rich, charming, an arsehole, Etc. or not doesn't matter. A perennially broke 5'8, 292 pound endomorph with stringy hair that finds a way to regularly bang hot girls very much qualifies as an alpha.
[deleted] 4y ago
Related, but I consider a mans SMV or how many women want him to be the highest achievement or measure of a man because it incorporates so many metrics
Zdeneksfilter 4y ago
Yes. Heartiste preaches this. I've seen people deny it... I even debated his viewpoint in the earlier days. Yet, you can't deny there's an instant respect which develops once you watch a guy who didn't seem all that clean up with beautiful women on the regular.
I remember this homeless guy a few years ago - youngish dude - who'd banged something like 430 women as a homeless guy. And most of them were well-tuned sub-25 chicks. Basically, he'd approach women and offer sex for a roof over his head for a few days. Nonchalant as hell, that guy... he just walked up to women he liked and put his offer on the table, take-it-or-leave-it style. Some women even tried to marry him so they could hold onto his dick for longer, but he wasn't interested in living a regular life.
Sure, he's homeless and he was for sure broke as hell... but is he an alpha? He sure is in my book.
SamVimesFucksDimes 4y ago
That's amazing. He must have been following the first rule pretty hard though, homeless cold open sounds difficult AF without a solid jawline and some cheekbones.
Zdeneksfilter 4y ago
His looks were decent enough, but he also wasn't a Calvin Klein model. I noticed he leaned on 3 crutches:
The first, was that for a homeless guy, he kept himself incredibly neat. Clean, simple, flat-soled sneakers; simple, fitting stone-washed denim; clean hoodies/turtle necks, primarily dark fabrics and he cut his hair. You could tell he shopped at the thrift store... but he had taste and understood hygiene.
The second was that he carried a (banged up) guitar with him, and was reasonably good at playing. He wasn't a genius... but he could play a few tunes at a good level.
The third was that he had a dog. And pets make for phenomenal openers.
All of this, coupled with a level of overconfidence that honestly threatened to spill over into arrogance made him literal catnip for women. I recall the woman interviewing him mentioning to him that most men found it difficult to have multiple sexual partners, and you could see he was genuinely confused at this. He couldn't understand what was so hard about fucking three different women in three days.
[deleted] 4y ago
This will look like a happily married couple. Family of 4 or 5, he pays the bills, once a month sex with him asking for more and her saying “I’m just not into it” or “I’m too tired”
Then she says “I love him but I’m not in love with him” and ends up taking it up the ass by some random guy from work/vacation/pool boy
OP makes a great point though. Never shower your woman with affection. Your love IS a currency and by giving too much of it you make it worthless. Some of the guys I know that get trampled on the most say “I love you” several times a day and bring home flowers every week.
You can show affection while being an alpha. An example of this is next time your woman is cooking dinner literally walk up to her, pick her up, carry her to the bedroom, and fuck her brains out. No questions asked.
tenpointmatt 4y ago
every reply there is 'this story gives me so much hope'.
how can you read shit like this and still not get it?
EDIT: also just noticed that i am now shadowbanned from all these relationship subs on reddit. thought that was just a twitter thing - guess its standard practice now.
Whopper_Jr 4y ago
Gotta keep the beta bux lactation cycle stimulated in perpetuity. Don’t disrupt the cattle
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MilkMoney111 4y ago
Yuh reddit has started to really amplify hive mind mentality and enforce echo chambers.
swampbastard1415 4y ago
Good - more clueless phags out there making us look good.
8380atgmaildotcom 4y ago
This subreddit isn't exempt from that either
zueman 4y ago
I give it like 4 more years before Reddit becomes an useless outlet just like any other social media
Useeikill 4y ago
I mean the trp subreddit got quarantined for no good reason, thats evidence enough for me where NPCeddit is going towards. Thank god there are posts like this by OP with such a good breakdown and analysis. It both disappoints me and saddens me that the average woman's hamster works in such a primitive way. Dare I say AWALT?
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Shyrk 4y ago
This is A+ content. Thank you.
Hamlet_Prime 4y ago
The line about the pesos vs USD was just hilarious. Good read
darkstar1031 4y ago
The trouble is that too many men think in terms of what will make this woman happy, instead of thinking in terms of what will make her pussy wet. You don't have to look like Chris Hemsworth or Denzel Washington, you don't have to be a billionaire, you just have to get her wet, and then when it comes time, fuck her like your life depends on it. Make absolutely certain she comes more than once. That's all it takes.
Don't get possessive, that's Billy Beta horseshit. She's not yours, it's just your turn. Enjoy it while it lasts, know when it's over, and move the fuck on. Find another one. They are everywhere.
Cum_Victor 4y ago
My brothers, you cannot negotiate desire.
DTron2332 4y ago
Makes sense
sadomasochrist 4y ago
It's lifestyle inflation. No need to complicate the topic. As you do anything more, you find more things you like and more things you don't. The bar gets raised.
If you watch enough movies, you become a cinephile. If you get deep enough into any hobby, you become an enthusiast.
Sleep with enough guys, and well.... that's your primary relationship axis, sex. So the primary axis in which she'll need to form a relationship around, is sex, not romantic love.
Alpha widowship is really just the divergence of her sexual\arousal\emotional floor from her naive romantic love ideal. At n=0, if the man is masculine enough, and love is her primary goal, this should be at parity.
But when women say "I'll do that later" then they raise the floor until it's past the median male. This is the birth of "high maintenance."
For guys at TRP that are still in the silver bullet plan stage\vetting\"purple pill" etc. This is basically most women who are going through college right now.
Keep that in mind.
Magnum994 4y ago
And even if you manage to find the best movie you’ve ever seen, the more movies you’ve seen in the past, the more you are certain there has to be one that’s even better than this best one. You become dopamine depended on finding the new “even higher” high. And then reaction to an even a very good one is: Meh, I’ve seen better.
Chaddeus_Rex 4y ago
How can one have remonatic love without incorporating erotic love?
There are four tiypes of love:
Erotic love, platonic love, filial love and familial love.
Nowhere is there a mention of "relationship" love
sadomasochrist 4y ago
I did not add naive to the first mention. Both men and women base their non-sex primary love around fantasy models (Disney romance).
Another way to state this is romantic love. Romance is not necessarily erotic. I think their use of "erotic" is overly simplified IMO.
If this wasn't true, I don't think TRP would even exist. This exists because men dealing with this issue en masse on how to deal with the loss of their naive romantic ideals.
OP is referencing a woman losing her naive romantic ideals.
I-am-ed 4y ago
this is not true i had a threesome yesterday and we were two guys and my girlfriend which is an hb3.8887 round it off to 4. i really love my girlfriend and she wanted him to bang her first because he was so fun to be honest. i waited and cooked for them some dinner. it was so heartwarmibg to see your girlfriend so happy. best part? i didnt even got to have sex so i didnt get exhausted. haha.
the guy left after sex and i hugged him for being so nice! ill sure do it again next time.
redsound 4y ago
A satire, but I'm sure there are cucks who thinks exactly this way. The level of weakness and complete absence of self esteem is astounding
Atheist_Utopia 4y ago
the satire is insane hahahahhahahhaha
hammerhearth 4y ago
If it makes you happy who are we to tell you otherwise? Just uh, don't get married, yea?
calicotrinket 4y ago
You should add on "and I paid the guy $200 because he gave my girlfriend so much pleasure that I couldn't, and I'm so glad to have him show her how sex is supposed to be like!"
That is sickening to read, and the worst part being that it would have been my thought process a year ago.
SuperCrazy07 4y ago
Wait wut?
I get being blue pilled and clueless. I was once blue pilled and super clueless.
Letting another dude fuck my girlfriend while I cooked dinner was NEVER in my thought process.
That’s next level fucked up.
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[deleted] 4y ago
I want to write a book about this stuff, so potent, articulated and on point that in 10 years time this sort of thing isn’t surprising to 99% of men rather than 1%
sebbegerbert 4y ago
Then get of reddit and start writing
[deleted] 4y ago
Honestly man... I'm seriously going to start tomorrow, and I will send you a hard copy free when its done.
(Im going to release it as a free PDF), but also sell hard copies.
EdAnt 4y ago
I've heard that you should never say what you will do to anyone. It releases a little dopamine hit and your brain and makes you feel like you've already done it. It makes you lazy to say that you will do something. Don't tell anyone what you're doing, just do it.
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Gnosiis_ 4y ago
I have a hard time believing this one. Even though we've seen plenty of stories like this. But I doubt you'll find too many girls with this much self-awareness about why the are or are not attracted to a guy.
Bullshit.
uptimex 4y ago
Wow. Bluepill culture in a nutshell. The key is to genuinly want to be a chad. Not in a manner of being macho or something. You are a calm, strong, charismaric male, with you interests, work, ambitions, family, friends, sex appetite etc. She is just a human with whom you want to have sex and spend a good time. Maybe someday you will find a woman who will surprise you and maybe you will merry her, but for the time being, they are just females for you, as an alfa.
Btw the way she described past males they werent alfa too (well more alfa than this current guy). She mentioned "codependancy", it is not an alfa behaviour.
masszealots 4y ago
TRP is blinding you. She doesn't crave behaviour. She craves genetics; Chad's genetics.
S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 4y ago
It's a bit of both. Her instincts about men are flawed, and a decent looking man can shoot way above his league by employing behavior and techniques that speak to her more primal urges and desires. It's like learning BJJ, it lets you fight way better than you otherwise would've been able too, but if a bigger and heavier guy is fighting you then you lose if you're at the same skill level as him. But if he's less skilled than you, you'd be surprised how often you could win.
The black pill is only true for 4'10" 2-inch dick deformed autists. The overwhelming majority of us are not that, I'd say every man 5'5" or above and lookswise 4 or above can get at least HB7s if they perfect their enactment of TRP. And for everyone below that, TRP still leaves them way better in the dating realm than they otherwise would've been.
rob_bass 4y ago
I was once told “female sexuality, is best left dormant”. I can see why now.
Cryptoguru777 4y ago
I feel sorry for her orbiters trying to be with her.
JohnIan101 4y ago
I don't.
If not her - it would be another idol on a pedestal, same difference.
FfdzcA1mzkHqxEx2AM6g 4y ago
Kinda weird timing on this one: it’s a 6 month old post and the girl just (like in the last 24 hours) posted an update to say that things are going great with this guy.
I can’t help wondering whether this is an attempt to make this sub look stupid / prove TRP wrong. (I’m not saying it succeeds at this - just pointing it out)
OneRedSock 4y ago
Things are always going great until they're not.
Women always love you until they don't.
It's called the lightswitch effect for a reason. One day she'll find another guy who sets off the fireworks and she'll lose interest in this guy.
Fuck, it's only been 6 months and the limerance (butterfly love feeling) lasts until 1.5 years, maybe up to 3. Yeah, she's fought through her toxic problems, but once the shine wears off on this relationship she'll be off to something more emotionally engaging.
wubbzywylin 4y ago
Yeah, I was confused why OP didn't include the update in this as well.
Ddone47 4y ago
Thing is women don't know what the fuck they want. Maybe the woman will make another post saying she cheated on her bf or she broke up due to being bored. Also don't think this is old I just saw this awhile ago too
S3LF-IMPROV3M3NT 4y ago
She's not actually happy, if you read between the lines. You can see that she admits she still doesn't feel the same passion towards the beta, it's classic case of alpha widow.
redditpuff 4y ago
Her update: " It’s certainly not as filled with longing and deep passion as other relationships I’ve had, but honestly I prefer being with him."
She is missing the passion.
Project_Zero_Betas 4y ago
This. Why the thread turned into a "n-count/pairbonding" circlejerk is beyond me. ALL AWs have trouble "pairbonding," that's why they're AWs in the first place.
Rkingpin 4y ago
Long story short this is the life of alpha widows. Broken hearts and broken pair bond
[deleted] 4y ago
This is also the life of beta males. Passionateless relationships
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Beegoop 4y ago
Great post.
I think there's one little nug that you glossed over that a lot of men - especially in her age range - need to hear:
You hear that? Years.
This chick is only 23, and still in Uni. This guy - this probably not even completely alpha, just not completely beta guy - left an imprint on her for Y E A R S. In that time, she's met, dated, and definitely fucked her way through a ton of other guys. She's in Uni, it's a given:
Read as "The mindless sex was fun while it lasted, but I'm ready for another guy to commit to me." Another supposed "relationship."
It's almost sad. Through the countless nuts she's swallowed and no matter how "happy" she is with her current unfortunate sweetheart, she always had - and probably always will have - this other guy on her mind. At least until a better one comes along.
There's no doubt that she's going to try to "make it work" with this current sap, how she may "fall in love" or "connect on a deeper level" with him more than past flames, but what's also assured is that this won't last. You know what this new guy is. He's a beta; he's the guy the girl sticks with because it's easy. A little affection, and this guy is trapped. He'll never be the guy that doesn't respond to her texts immediately. He's the guy who she'll sculpt throughout the relationship to be the provider she wants. He's a shell, just a temporary substitute until someone like her ex comes along.
It's not even his fault, it's what SHE sees HIM as. It's what she uses him as. He can't escape it, because he will never break the mold if he puts her wishes, thoughts, and feelings above his - the exact opposite of this other guy she drools over YEARS later.
Gimme a fucking break, this guy is FUCKED. For those that don't understand this yet - especially younger readers- The only reason that she prefers this NOW, why it's "TotaLly, OppoSiTe", is because the sex is not FUN for her. He doesn't ATTRACT her like the other guys; if she loved cooking so much more than sex, she would have done it in those past relationships as well. It's sad. She would love nothing more than to call off Taco Tuesday if this other guy hit her up saying he got some new ropes to try out.
An impression for YEARS, man. Remember that on your journey to become the type man women actually want, because she definitely will.
FightGuard 4y ago
How can you speculate that he's not completely alpha?
Yug_Zohoth 4y ago
Sounds like a match made in Hell. He needs to get away from her and find a girl who is more like himself. You see, like attracts like. Alphas get a lot of sex, and so they are best suited to women who also have a lot of sexual experience. This guy sounds inexperienced and maybe he needs a girl with similar experience to his who is not overly sex fixated. Female libido varies much more greatly than male libido. There are a lot of more sexual extremes among the female species(hypersexual and asexual) than among us men. So actively avoid extremes and if the girl you're dating is like this one, you gotta be emotionally unavailable towards her and never get attached.
GoyInTheStripedPJs 4y ago
Well written post man. Im definitely in the camp of wishing deep down that RP is bullshit, but knowing that it isn’t, in part because of cases like this. And having been like the dude described in the post. Never again.
Obediah_Stane 4y ago
That's why it's called the red pill. You take it, see the real world, hope it's bullshit, hope to wake up back in your fantasy world, only to realize that this is it. Next step is accepting it and operating in the new system.
Whopper_Jr 4y ago
Most people wish it were bullshit because it would be easier. RP technique, Game, approaching, plate spinning, holding frame, etc. are hard work—even if it comes “easy” to you, it still takes more conscious energy and effort than not playing. You can hate the reality, or you can appreciate that it forces you to keep yourself sharp. The first mindset feeds into frustration and resentment; the second mindset spikes natural drives of ambition and exhilaration. I envision sort of a bell curve where the middle majority is occupied by clueless BP NPCs in varying stages of muted alertness. Some gradually start sliding towards the ends of the distribution, which are occupied by embittered RP incel types on one end (who realize the reality and hate it/refuse to take action), and on the other end by RP men who accept reality, identify areas to improve upon, and put in the work to enjoy the ride.
largepaycheckaddict 4y ago
If RP was bullshit it wouldn’t be so we’ll known today and discussed IRL within male circles more and more commonly. I too wish it was BS and was off and on about it for a couple years..
[deleted] 4y ago
Nearly a year and a half into TRP and I still feel the blue pill tendencies calling back to me. Keeping steadfast is the only solution, because I keep seeing red flags from low quality women. Red flags outweigh hot bodies for anything longer than a quickie
[deleted] 4y ago
You just have to love in a different way. LTRs and marriages are possible but more challenging, however it’s still the best approach If you want kids to grow up ok
If you constantly tell her you love her or give her gifts she will mentally put herself above you and treat you inferior. It’s sad but true. However if you maintain a little dread and fuck her when possible you can maintain that attraction
hammerhearth 4y ago
Marriage is not possible you mother fuckers. Stop spreading these lies
[deleted] 4y ago
Shut up you mouth breathing fuck head
scorpionkg 4y ago
Woman like to feel, make her feel angry, anxious, doubt, sad, but never bored.
Rock the boat is the key.
Flesh_Pillow5 4y ago
She's also used up and lost her ability to pair bond
JamesSkepp 4y ago
Pairbonding is so far down the list that it's borderline BP "metric". First and foremost her bf is a beta, boring, predictable and treats her "nice" and that's not a behaviour that elicits attraction. She's not going to pairbond with a beta b/c she knows she can replace him with any other one, not that different from her current one.
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INNASKILLZ2K18 4y ago
Yes, POSITIVE emotional tension. Too many guys think one underlying, long lasting, predictable emotional feeling is what they want.
WildCaveBear 4y ago
I have a remedy against being a beta chump (which I never was), lose your interest in sex, boom! woman have less than zero valuefor you, and suddenly you are almost chased down by them, so when you actually have an interest in sex, you can have it on demand.
I saw the trap of being a beta very early on, by having a crazy mother, saw how women where at there worst.
Best choice ever for me, is going on testosterone supplement, and my levels are 25% over the maximum level for a 19-year-old, being in my very late 30's. IT FEELS GOOD!
I lift A LOT in the gym, are super relaxed and just being very masculine without thinking about it.
AND NOW WHY ITS THE BEST CHOICE, "side effect" for me is that my sexdrive is very low, then you can focus on just having a nice life!
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YouNeverKnowAnyone 4y ago
Can’t wait to wife up some whore so she can like kissing my dorky ass but not fucking me
Ddone47 4y ago
Haha I read this just after swallowing the red pill 2 days ago. And surprised I was right
jewishsupremacist88 4y ago
rape should be decriminalized
Cloak_and_Rose 4y ago
Lol this is something my ex could have written.
For her, it was a mix of fucked up childhood and sickness, and fuckloads of insecurity, on top of the normal beta shit.
She never was as in looooove with me as when we'd fight, make up or the first time I dumped her.
Basically, her feelings didnt have much to do with me as a person.
It was a fucking shitshow, and I'd rather be single than spend years on healing a broken girl that I don't see myself spending my life with, even though it hurt.
I learned a lot from her and this place
[deleted] 4y ago
it's just a girl's crush. like mens have.
Putuz 4y ago
Some people just crave the poison. Life is too easy so people crave the adventure elsewhere. It is a problem of current society.
tyronethejabrone 4y ago
Nicely put. Whisper hit on this in his post about how what us guys really want is to be lusted after, which gives way to passion. Some faggots tried to call it validational sex but they just don’t understand.
imheregonow004 4y ago
What I don’t understand is, is she wanting a dick head or just someone Alpha? Because alpha doesn’t mean a dick head
DeChef2 4y ago
Lesson learned:
Trust yourself, your smarter than you look
BurntYams 4y ago
Love this post. Thanks, OP
HadALifeWouldBeElsew 4y ago
There is actually an update to the story where she states that she all in all prefers the beta.
Imperator_Red 4y ago
Logically yes. But he doesn’t make her pussy quiver. This is why listening to women is absurd. They very idea that we would give them power and a stake in society when they don’t even know what’s going on in their own heads is laughable.
askmrcia 4y ago
She will most certainly ruin the relationship eventually. Start picking fights with, start drama out of nowhere, all to give her an excuse to cause chaos so she can go back to the guys she's used to really dating
YesIamALizard 4y ago
Only because of how it made her look. Come on man.
RedIsBestColour 4y ago
Oh yes of course no doubt. She prefers him now. But not before she didn't. Dual strategy.
calicotrinket 4y ago
*for now. There will come a point that she meets a Chad who will "start fireworks when she kisses" etc, and then it's back to this entire cycle again.
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Itshighnoon777 4y ago
You can definitely have a great relationship that guys strive for but you gotta implement some RP philosophy in that bitch a little here and there to keep it that way. Otherwise that relationship will just die and you’ll end up becoming the dork/beta that we all here started as.
MatterhornNightLord 4y ago
Thank you for writing this brother, very insightful...exactly what I needed to hear
sea_light_house 4y ago
She needs another Alpha to correct herself
Theguygotgame777 4y ago
The Relationships sub is for people who don't get how relationships work even by BP standards.
The-Wizard-of-Oz- 4y ago
Of course, your last lines especially, I thought was the only one who was interested in that and doing that till I found trp.
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nobody_thinks 4y ago
lol wut
one thing that you are missing is that you can't just "treat a woman bad" and it will generate fireworks. If you don't have the status, frame, looks, etc, she'll drop your ass. She only puts up with it b/c of hypergamy, and the guys who naturally treat her like this do it b/c of options.
PillUpAss 4y ago
RP is a cheat code that allows you to play in the majors when you have zero natural ability. It’s fucking amazing, once you unplug.
lehappyjuice 4y ago
You talk about redpill shit and this bitch has just confirmed again the blackpill.
Do you think she loved those guys because they were 'bad boys'?. She was aroused because Chad not the attitude.
You fucking redpillers don't understand that bad boys triumph DESPITE his personality traits not because.
thebadguy89 4y ago
I had to look up what blackpill is.
Hilarious. I'm not sure why you continue to get up in the morning, if you believe blackpill philosophy.
RedIsBestColour 4y ago
No such pill. Just beta delusion.
Atheist_Utopia 4y ago
Lol just kill yourself then if you believe in the blackpill