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[deleted] 5y ago
[deleted]
LastRevision 5y ago
Thank you for the kind words, brother. The plan is to do a book around 2020- but my goal is 10k Twitter follows first, in order to do my work justice. I know it sounds shallow, but my writing is my life's work- not only do I want do avoid throwing a brick and put something out that I'm proud of, but I want people to read it. I feel anything below 10k Twitter follows will garner too few genuine customers to make publishing work it.
So, uhh, follow me on Twitter @ KilltoParty
[deleted] 5y ago
The horrific truth of that statement makes me sad truthfully. I’ve been pondering on finding a primary yet have not found one worthy of promotion. Been missing that pairbond after sowing plenty of oats in this second rumspringa of my life. Players disease, boredom with thots, whatever you want to call it. I can put my finger on it exactly: the genuine value a solid woman can bring to your life. I miss it and want it again.
I’ve basically run inadvertent dread on my ex through losing a shit ton of weight and getting jacked. Some dhv, plenty of teasing and smashing her dumb tests make all the difference in the world. She has responded to it as expected. The startling difference is quite frankly eye opening. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t experienced it. Its a completely different personality in the same body. Crazy shit man.
I’m looking in the wrong places clearly. Drinking bitches in the bar make for a good night and sweaty bed partners. Not exactly someone worth much more than drinks and fun. There remains an element of hesitancy in there, self preservation of my romantic side. I’m recently introspecting that I’m intentionally only accepting disposable gals in my life as a self defense mechanism. I have to flesh this line of thought out further.
I added a snapthot to see what its about. $25 to see more... shes cute but its free on the internet. Why would I pay her. I’ve chatted with some other snapthots I came across on tinder. Talked to em like a person asked em if it really worked. Well they were making a better living than I was. Fuck I’d do it if I could pull it off. I ain’t mad at worst I’m a bit jealous.
Now back when irc was a thing, a local college gal found me on dalnet by a whois search for our local dial up provider. We fucked in the woods on the campus grounds. That was an experience. We didn’t last much longer than a few more times after that. I miss the heady youth of the information superhighway as billy used to tell me in our 9th grade news program. Explaining to my mom at 17 why there was a $400+ bill for long distance dialup- thats a different story. Fuck you earthlink
I’m eating lunch with my peer and superiors in our monthly cut the work bs and gtfo for an hour lunch. This is not a working lunch it’s 4 dudes getting in some off the record chats and just plain camaraderie. I blow shit to my vp every chance I get here: the loneliness at the top is that you no longer get treated simply as just a man. I give him the chance to be one of the guys again. He loves it. Then again I’m the guy who sat with the ceo at christmas party time and blew him shit as well. The dgaf is strange in me, sometimes I’m amazed at what just flows out of my mouth when I think wtf did I just say. Fuck it I’m still breathing. I really only mildly care about being employed even during This unannounced recession that were in. Its fucked up really, it’s literally the best organization I’ve ever worked for. I know I don’t have the full on sociopathy to go much higher than another rung up the ladder to director level. I hate the corp life and have pondered going back to a mindless blue collar role. At this point I know my dgaf is so high that my only real concern is not putting my boss in a bad spot. I like that fucker and I don’t like it when I force him to unfuck a mess I made.
Back to lunch, I am the only single male of the four of us. I’m also the youngest of us and you can place my age by this comment. There’s me: youthful playboy turned almost domesticated for ~15yrs turned reborn alfalpha (wtfever that means) single male, two solid very sociopathic corporate types who don’t fuck around and one extreme nice guy. I really like the nice guy and I hate when I see him get rolled over at work. Still that’s his cross to bear. I make the mistake of asking them what they are doing for v day. I explain my position against prescriptive gift giving. Even when I was trying to live in the matrix I hated the idea of forced giving. Its completely unromantic and I do have a strong romantic streak in me. After my spiel I get looked at like I have boils on my face for my wrongthink. So i move the convo forward to them and I get the usual “yeah I got her necklace/flowers/winter vacation” (notice the discrepancy in salary ranges here) with the undertones that sex would be withheld otherwise. Clearly happy wife happy life even from these badass corp mofos who I have seen run over power plays and handle all kinds of corp bs. Societal programming runs strong and deep even in the strong personality types.
That my friends is what is defined as modern success. It sickens me. Where do you go from here? I don’t have that answer. I’m still searching for it myself. Californication is not my end goal yet its looking like what my real end game will be. It could be worse.
No one knows what that means anymore. I am curious if the author of winrar ever made any money though.
I passed on a chance to see gwar last summer. Mild regret there. I never thought gwar was that good but the experience would be interesting. Slipknot tours this year finally. Their new tracks are great. I’m not missing that.
Realized you weren’t on my Feedly. I have rectified that situation. Excellent work as always man.
LastRevision 5y ago
God knows in twenty-five years, I've never bought it LOL.
And, pass on GWAR- the old singer Dave died a few years ago; theyr're akin to a GWAR cover band now.
BlindingTwilight 5y ago
I am really not sure what you are trying to get at here. I think the message is lost in too many obscure and unconnected references. I actually have no idea what the basic premise is?
LastRevision 5y ago
What is success in a world where it’s no longer likely, or even possible, to have a long term relationship with a woman? What does that look like? When you’re beyond caring about bullshit materialism? It’s a meditation on where we are now- and I don’t exactly have an answer.
BlindingTwilight 5y ago
Things are not really that bleak unless one craves for a trad con world that never really existed. Serial monogamy is what most humans end up doing. Long term relationships are not really that difficult, it is just a case that the grass is always greener on the other side. Why would anyone want to stay with the one woman once she is over 40? You may as well hang out with your friends because after 40 women age like milk. I have had LTRs and lots of ONS, STRs and every other type of relationship. It all gets old after a while. Women are the byproduct of a life lived well. The reason so many guys are unhappy is because they make women the goal. Our genetic imperative to breed is not easily ignored.
LastRevision 5y ago
Because she's the mother of your children.
BlindingTwilight 5y ago
Sounds like that is a goal of yours. The trad con life no longer exists in the west. You will need to move over seas.
Proto_Sigma 5y ago
Well, if a woman gives me several decades of great sex, is a solid co-parent and loyal first mate on the ship of my life, and we build a kingdom together, and she does her best to take care of herself (as will I), I'll happily stand by her with the kids as we grow old.
I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen, though.
LastRevision 5y ago
That last part is the bitch of it, right
RedForEducation 5y ago
How many blocks can one remove from your jenga tower before you let it fall though?
Proto_Sigma 5y ago
One. And that's assuming a Jenga tower is built in the first place. The vetting process ought to be so strict that if such a tower is built it ought to be built to last; and if it falls it should be built in a way that minimizes damage to nearby structures.
RedForEducation 5y ago
I do agree that if they are boundaries they need to be boundaries.
Most guys tend to be more fluid, the question was more rhetorica
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RedForEducation 5y ago
Worth seeing the first Gwar reference since watching Empire records
oooKenshiooo 5y ago
I can feel your drift man. I would like to tell you there are greener pastures ahead, past this dark valley of the soul, but I am not sure you would believe me. I certainly would not have believed a few years ago. And it was not TRP that got me there.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
If the reader is 300 words in and still has no idea what the point of the article is, you're doing it wrong.
RedForEducation 5y ago
He's not writing an instruction manual. He's more like delicious tacos, taking you on a journey for you to enjoy the ride.
Whether it achieves that or not is another thing, but I get it.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
Sorry, I thought that the purpose of non-fiction writing was to communicate information.
RedForEducation 5y ago
Are you younger? For me, I enjoyed the trip through nostalgia lane while he got to the point, but I was reading it for entertainment...
Like watching a GI joe episode and getting a PSA at the end.
Doesn't have to be for everyone I guess. It's one of the more pedantic anger phase type posts I've read, perhaps thats why i enjoyed it. Getting real tired of 'why am I not the bull, women are trash!' from the average new users lol
Imperator_Red 5y ago
You keep saying reading for entertainment or enjoying the ride. It's not entertaining to read poor writing that goes nowhere.
RedForEducation 5y ago
k