This post is for guys struggling to get girls. I've seen it time and time again that guys finally see past the curtain, swallow the pill, and then have a mental breakdown as they compare themselves to the alpha men they meet and struggle to become someone like them.
Big muscles, not giving a shit, and confidence around girls are byproducts of change, not change itself.
Real change is about attitude. The right attitude can be accomplished with these steps:
- Be completely honest with yourself
- Prioritize yourself
- Take responsibility of the consequences required to align your life with your priorities
When I swallowed the pill it took me some years to realize the career I had been trained for made me unhappy. I switched careers and now make a fraction of what I did. I'm now living a simple life of freedom and couldn't be happier. Women respect my lifestyle and know I could do anything I want but I chose this. They come to me to break away from their lives, be free for some time, and try to take some of my genes home.
If I can give one piece of sage advice, it is that you should accept all responsibility for living the lifestyle you want. If it requires you to be lonely sometimes, accept that. If it requires you to not be respected sometimes, accept that it. If it requires you to make less money, accept that. If it requires you to work hard, accept that. Do whatever it takes to live by your own rules, and spend as much time as it takes to understand what your own rules are.
When you accomplish this feat of mental reorganization, you become a shitty alpha. Maybe you will be the lowest quality alpha male in the world. It really doesn't matter, because if you are the only alpha male in the room, women will settle for you. By my experience this happens a lot.
AwakenedSovereign 5y ago
Good post.
TL;DR
Your job isn't being better than anyone else. Your job is to approach, achieve and sustain your "personal best self" for as long as possible. Comparisons against others are usually not helpful because everyone gets dealt different hands in life.
Upon finding TRP I found my focus switched to "bad bitches only". Because hey, if they all sluts, why not just go for the Nova hot party sluts?
Problem is this narrow-minded thinking can confuse you. Trap you.
You only go to clubs, you only see club women. You only compare yourself to club players.
There are lots of ways this can happen. Basically the ultimate logic is.. not getting what you want? Change something until you do.
Change not coming fast enough, or reliably enough? Not sure if it's "worth it"? The work itself is worth it. Be the best you can be, even of at the end of the day it's not enough. If you never try at all the answer is definitely No.
Change where you are trying. Some guys leave this country to find love or a wife. Women here are fucked.
Change what you are trying. Nightgame vs. 6'5" Chad's not working? Go play Dungeons & Dragons at the pubs and pick up nerd bitches who haven't seen a six pack in six years.
And finally, at the very end of all that effort, LET GO. This is the ultimate ultimate TRP truth.
Ask yourself this:
"If I don't get HB8+ women like Alphas do, should just shoot myself?" No. The answer is no, because no pussy is worth that.
Pull that pussy off the pedestal and realize your happiness isnt at the bottom of her velvet tunnels, but at the bottom of your effort, the bottom of your strength.
What you want is to be sitting on your deathbed with a glass of Brandy in your hand, thinking back and saying to yourself... "Goddamn I didn't think I had it in me. I did things I never dreamed of. Maybe it didn't end the way I thought or wished it would - that's life. But I know for a fucking FACT I lived this life the best ways I knew how. No regrets."
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zyqkvx 5y ago
Calling this part out. We live in a sea of slobs. If I can't better them not much will go right for me. I think I understand the context you meant this statement, yet it's kryptonite to read regardless.
Jejmaze 5y ago
Damn well put. When I started working out a lot of my friends would ask me why I try so hard, and I think this is why. The effort is worth it. Things we don’t have to work for are usually not that worthwhile. You can do stuff for fun, sure, but that won’t provide you with the meaning that sustains you.
AwakenedSovereign 5y ago
"Where do you get your drive? How do you do what you do?"
Said the Defeated to the Victorious.
There are lots of ways to be born lucky in this world and not a single one of them is more important than a Man's capacity for work - his Drive.
I walk around these days out-gaming (some) 6 foot plus perfect chiselled Chads with my skinnyfat ass because my balls are bigger and I want it more than they do.
AlfredKinsey 5y ago
This is what rope-living incels need to hear. Pussy is not worth getting suicidal or depressed.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
I hate when people say this. It's easy for you and me to say because we're getting laid. In the ancient world people would kill and die for some pussy.
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monsieurhire2 5y ago
They would realize that once they get laid, but statistically, there will be men would are simply too inept, either by nature, nurture, or some combination, to get laid, and they will wonder their whole lives about what they will never experience unless they go to a prostitute, which of course they won't because they are conditioned not to. Remember, these are the statistical outliers.
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funkyjunkymonkey 5y ago
I don't understand the whole incel mindset tbh. Even if you are fat, gross, and beta, there's always an ugly woman willing to bang you if you just lower your standards. Nobody is really an incel; they are just incel with 5's and above. I banged 3s and 4s for years until I got my act together, hit the gym, etc. It might not be livin high on the hog, but it's livin.
Imperator_Red 5y ago
This is false. The SMV is skewed. Women only consider 20% of the male population to be attractive. Without external societal controls, the 90% man and woman, 50% man and woman, and 10% man and woman don't just pair off and live happily ever after because the 50% woman is not attracted to the 50% man. She would prefer to be the second or third choice of the 90% man.
Eventually as you move down the scale you do actually run out of women. The 50% man might be able to pair off with say, a 30% woman and a 30% man could settle down with a 10% landbeast, but the 10% man has zero options.
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SalporinRP 5y ago
The problem is a lot of those incel forums have guys post pics and a ton of them without changing a thing about themselves are like 5/10s. A whole another slew of them are 3/4s but could easily be better looking by getting a good haircut, new wardrobe, and getting on a skin care regime.
The number of guys on there who are actually t0o ugly to ever get women is very slim.
And for the guys who are genuinely so ugly that they're unattractive to basically all women, I feel bad for them but wallowing in self-pity is just not a healthy way to live.
Captain_Quick 5y ago
I used to feel bad for the incel group because I figured it was full of people who were actually involuntarily celibate. People who were disabled and physically couldn't have sex, quadriplegics, burn victims, people with ALS, that sort of thing. Turns out it's just full of regular people who are lazy.
empatheticapathetic 5y ago
Incels have a problem where their self worth spirals into nothingness. Even a 2 isn’t going to fuck a 4 if he doesn’t at least act like a 6. And tinder has changed the rules anyway.
SpiritStatic 5y ago
Sure has. I see more and more arrogant blimps trudging around town because their queue of 100 matches leads them to believe they're an 8 who's a 9 on a good day.
AwakenedSovereign 5y ago
Ego & Pride get in the way.
In HS I had a HB7 GF. In college another one. BP as fuck.
After I found TRP? Somehow I couldn't get laid even with 5s. Wtf is this shit bro?
Of course I was ignoring all the actual 5s. Not romantic or chasing anymore so no bring chosen as a BF. Only going for gold, etc. Add in RP knowledge and lifting and suddenly I was "entitled" to the best pussy. But still not getting it.
Enter our old friend: cognitive dissonance / dumbassery
Cast a wide net fellas. We are not wired to go without sex. Kill your ego and fuck what you can fuck.
Women are like jobs. You need one to eat and feel full. But it can be almost any one, and as soon as possible you want to trade up to something better.
whutyomamado 5y ago
This was me for a few years since I found TRP and I'm just doing this. Felt entitled to the best pussy I can find. My looks were getting there and get me plenty of stares and matches on dating apps. But my personality isn't all that alpha yet. Women have a 6th sense for that shit. As soon as they sense I'm a little beta I get ghosted. I failed a lot and had little success over the years. Even had a HB8 stalk me and go on a date with me but I was still beta so I got ghosted LOL.
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Took a year to 'improve' my game but I realized I need to go out there and fail.
Matched with a HB7 on POF, texted her logistics from Saturday-Sunday morning, I went to her house and fucked that afternoon. Thought okay I guess my text game is better....
BUT I got performance ED and couldn't stay hard. Kept happening when we were getting really into it and it was sad. She was nice about it and we kept trying for 5 hours, said we could try again some other time (yeah right). Even took a break in between to unwind by watching tv but I still couldn't finish. My biggest fear happened to me. She probably thinks I'm pathetic. (I've had sex about 5 times, also sad)
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What I learned from this was that I had built up mad anxiety from my year off, and when I effortlessly pulled it off it was like swallowing the pill all over again. But it's only the beginning. I found this sub in 2015 and 4 years later I'm still struggling to get bitches. I was feeling a bit down but fuck that shit. I'm going to go out there and fail as much as it takes. I'm a slow learner so I'm going to try and get used to rejection. EMBRACE THAT SHIT.
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Just a bit of a rant... and I wanted to get this off my chest. I can share more details or even make a separate post for the new guys coming here.
llkkzz 5y ago
I'd be interested. I have wasted a good 10 years on fapping addiction. I am a slow learner too bruh.
nomogoodnames 5y ago
If you still call it fapping you really do have a lot to learn. Too much reddit for one thing I'll bet.
whutyomamado 5y ago
What would you like me to elaborate?
THEdirtyDotterFUCKr 5y ago
This is good advice, however I see a lot of comments along the lines of "one day I hope to x"
There is a general miasma that annoys me. OPs advice seems to me like two tiers after swallowing the pill.
But a lot of noobs seem to take their time with everything. As though being alpha is a goal that takes years to get to and they need to do some prereqs before they can start training.
Dood! you could die before you finish reading this, everyone, and I mean everyone takes life for granted and thinks they're gonna live til their 70s at least.
Get off your ass! work in an office? get cold at your desk? instead of bitching about the thermostat or bringing a sweater to work, do some jumping jacks, pushups, dips from your chair or desk. FUCK what your coworkers think.
Yes Statistically most readers/redditors will live to at least 50. Do not assume you are in that majority, live like you're gonna die tonight and when you truly believe that. You will do some amazing shit your coworkers and acquaintances will wish they had half the balls to do one of the things you did this weekend in their shitty lemming lifetime
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DouglasPR 5y ago
"if you are the only alpha male in the room, women will settle for you": exactly! I know I am far from my ideal shape, frame, money... but I win most of comparisons in my environment, only by adopting red pill and looking after the basics, lifting, grooming, focusing in my goals and not falling for every shit test. Its start and a boost to stay in the path
_thechinaman_ 5y ago
Lol didn't even need to read. Title is incredible. Based and redpilled. Tres bien fait!
Nikkozezim 5y ago
Tough realization, but not everyone has the capability to be top notch.
flipwater 5y ago
Beautifully written, thanks for this
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IvanReilly 5y ago
Good post. I think not comparing yourself to others but comparing yourself to who you were yesterday and making yourself better.
oooKenshiooo 5y ago
Solid post. Can confirm. Always pick your battles.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
yea but I'm doing all of this. I write poetry for up to an hour and a half a day. I've been accepted at 4 colleges. I talk to anyone and everyone. I lift. I wear good smelling colognes. I even do that thing they say here, "surround yourself with attractive female friends to make yourself look even higher valued". And, I don't get anything. The only attention I've gotten from a girl was three years ago, but I was too blind to do anything. I don't even want sex, I just want a damn hug, a pat on the back, to hold hands, something to say I'm getting somewhere. Like geez.
AsmellyFinger 5y ago
You sound like a moist pussy. “I just want someone to love me pls.” You need a girl to act like your mother and that will NEVER happen. Grow tf up.
You don’t get it so you don’t get any.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
I'm not going to lie, you're right.
AsmellyFinger 5y ago
You have to learn to truly not need the attention of females, just enjoy being by yourself. Once you're able to do that, then you'll be fine.
I'd tell you to go talk to girls and plate the ones interested in you, but that will just enable your need for a mother figure. You have to be okay being alone, by that, I mean you have to be able to comfort YOURSELF, reassure YOURSELF and motivate YOURSELF.
Keep lifting.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
I spent two summers working on being ok alone. While I'm entirely comfortable with it, it doesn't mean I don't still want the opposite of it. But the interest from girls isn't coming. The last time I even interacted with a girl was valentines day. This girl got me pity chocolates then when her friends started asking her why she got me shit, she literally said that it was just a pity thing. I'd rather have gotten nothing. Beyond that, I'm sitting here hearing my friends detail their $600 senior trips, but no one wants to even spend $20 on gas to go to the mall. "That's stupid", "That's too far away", "Why would I want to go to the mall". It's moments like these that I stupidly let destroy my confidence and destroy my motivation. I really need to work on the motivation and reassurance. The being alone thing, I'm fine with. I'm just holding out to meet better people at college.
AsmellyFinger 5y ago
Why the fuck are you waiting for a girl to show interest in you? You're not a female, you're a guy. You're the one who has to show interest in the opposite sex.
Girls dress up, put on make up and stand there looking pretty hoping for a guy with high value to show interest in them. You have to be the high value guy who does this. What you're doing is hoping girls will show interest in you, you have it all backwards, that's why you're such a pussy right now.
Learn how to show interest in a girl without being needy. Then learn to tease her, make her laugh, make her mad, make her sad, make her jealous etc... Pretty much, you have to learn how to stimulate her EMOTIONS. If you get these skills down females will be all over you to the point of being annoying.
You haven't read the side bar, this is obvious. Read the fucking side bar, then read it again. Then fucking read it again.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
all good points. i'm currently reading all the books. I still have work to do.
AsmellyFinger 5y ago
It’s a process, don’t give up... You’ll have access to so much pussy in college if your balls drop by then. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel if you can persevere.
PM me if you need advice on anything kid.
AsmellyFinger 5y ago
It’s a process, you have to change mentally as well as physically. don’t give up... You’ll have access to so much pussy in college if your balls drop by then. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel if you can persevere.
PM me if you need advice on anything kid.
Philhelm 5y ago
I think that the biggest favor a man can do for himself is to not be a pussy.
scissor_me_timbers00 5y ago
Some guys don’t bloom til well after high school. Keep working on yourself. Keep lifting weights til you have a badass physique.
Also drop the mindset that you don’t even want sex, just that puppy love bullshit. You are totally de sexualizing and friend zoning yourself. Sex may be a reach but you should be gunning for makeouts and titties.
Good hell, if I was still surrounded by fresh teen titties...
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Drawman12 5y ago
Bitchez smell neediness, and you are needy man.
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gear54 5y ago
if you talk to everyone and anyone how is it that 'you don't get any attention'? ever tried inviting some of those girls out?
Future_Alpha 5y ago
I ask out girls, but end up hit with IHAB response. Whether it is true or not, I don't know. And I don't want to push it because they are classmates or know my classmates.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
because it's not enough. it never feels like enough man, i can't describe it. in the moment it feels amazing, but the second it's over, I go back to feeling depressed.
Crailberry 5y ago
Have you actually asked one of them out.....? Or are you waiting for them to make the first move.
DropDeadTyrant 5y ago
I've asked four girls out during my years at school. I got 2 yes's, but i was too much of a pussy to actually show up. The other two were no's. So, I've been working on myself because TRP says it should draw the attention of someone eventually.
Philhelm 5y ago
Unless you're a rock star, most girls are going to say "no." Since there are so many dicks being pointed at them daily, it is likely that there are better options for them, until there aren't and they say "yes." You can't face a few rejections over the period of years and claim that you have really tried. Trust me, I learned this the hard way when I was a wee lad.
KeffirLime 5y ago
There's guys asking 4 girls out on a Tuesday afternoon, worse yet you didn't follow through.
You can improve yourself all you want, if you're not putting yourself out there and testing your limits, nothing will happen. Women will not come to you.
The only way to improve is to actively seduce women, fail, improve. You're out here pitying your poor work ethic but to be honest the results are unsurprising.
empatheticapathetic 5y ago
Well you’re afraid of failure and confrontation. You made it sound like you didn’t get any dates. Stop self pitying, your pat on the back is never coming. If you are lucky you’ll get it from a couple good friends at best.
berenmsc 5y ago
That's like saying you only did 4 reps at the gym and are surprised that you're not swole yet.. get back out there and approach
Warrior_King02 5y ago
I do agree with your post but the title kind of doesn't make sense to me. An alpha is an alpha, if you dedicate your life to yourself, work on yourself every day consistently and really make an effort to change your life you'd really change your life. Can't really be a shitty alpha IMO
ChesterRickman 5y ago
I agree. Don't be afraid to be shitty and accept responsibilty. Fear of making mistakes is what fucked with my behaviour for so long and made me stay on the sidelines.
MilkMoney111 5y ago
Definitely. If you fuck up, well at least you know that doesn't work so you can quickly work to fix or change it, try again. Never even attempting will offer no growth.
0io- 5y ago
The perfect is the enemy of the good. If you're a fat fuck, you don't need a perfect diet and exercise plan, you just need a non-retarded diet and exercise plan and stick to that. Too many guys get bogged down in details, how do I respond to this or that, etc. Get the big things right and the major pieces in place. You'll be on the right path.
AdmirableStretch 5y ago
Reminds me of a piece of advice that always stuck with me: "If it's worth doing, then it's worth doing badly".
Meaning that if something is worth it, you'd best attempt it even if you think you'll be bad at it, rather than waiting for the perfect moment when all the stars align. Because that moment might never come.
Better a shitty version of what you want to be than a "good" version of something you dont even like.
YourZenemy 5y ago
Amazing post with great takeaways. Even the comments are helpful.
Not sure if any of you consume content by Gary Vaynerchuk, but one of his themes is how everyone claims to want to be millionaires [alphas] but are not willing to put in the work, the grit, once they realize what it truly consists of [TRP truths]. He emphasizes that if you are happier making $84,000 as #7 in the company ["shitty alpha"], that will ultimately bring you and those around you more peace [+results]. And that takes a level of self awareness.
It applies to this thread almost flawlessly.
Take your wisdom and apply it to something great my friend. I'm curious more about the process for you and what kind of work you do as well.
I'd sidebar this if I could.
Reenas54 5y ago
"Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but don't nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weights" - Ronnie Coleman.
EveryGodDamnDay 5y ago
"I'll do it though" https://youtu.be/rbzm4cT5sDM
German8835 5y ago
Can someone clear this out for me? I started reading rolo tomassis the laws of human nature... and some posts here promote being an asshole, an attention seeking narcissist... but I hope it is only with women, right? Not normal people you meat daily, and not your friends (male, there are no female ones). I can’t think about having a healthy relationship with your bros if you never help them, and the world only revolves around your ass. Am I having a Point, or do you always mean what I mean and I just didn’t get that? Yes, don’t be that nice guy, but command respect and have respect of others
smokecheck1976 5y ago
Rollo isn't any sort of gospel. Be yourself, just be your best self.
Being an asshole can have a lot of different meanings, some good, some bad. You want to help someone? Fine. If it isn't detrimental to your interests and that is what you choose, then good. If you continue to help them after they betray or cause you harm or simply display that they are not capable or ready for change, then you have to stop your efforts.
The notion that you can't have female friends is one of the absolute worst ideas on this sub.
Yes, friends help each other, but be aware that such help can not be a one-way street.
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vfb14 5y ago
Alpha is an abstract concept. It can be derived differently out of particular situations.
openoids 5y ago
At the end of the day, we all go to bed with ourselves.
elgodo7 5y ago
Good post, just curious what job did you have before and what do you do now?
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The_Red_Choice 5y ago
This was needing to be said. I see too many people on here who think they're failures because they don't weigh enough/too much, don't fuck 7 different plates a week, don't make 7 figures etc.
All that is byproducts of what you do. It's not what you pursue, it's what comes to you as a result of you bettering yourself and learning everyday. Also doing things you enjoy does make that journey much easier. Don't limit yourself because you perceive yourself in a negative light. Just keep going and getting better.
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gaydabsquad 5y ago
Solid advice for all areas in your life. Getting shit at work and business or having trouble with the relationships in your life? What could you have done better? It’s hard to admit you fucked up (even if it’s just a little slip up.) This is how your game gets tight. Repetition and improving upon every experience.
Thank you for the reminder OP.