I'm one of the older guys around here with reasonable success with women so I thought I'd post a field report that might give some insight to the less experienced guys about how I go about doing things. I'm going to be explicit in some of the detail to help illustrate specific points of escalation. This got quite long:
I was travelling solo recently; a week-long AirBnB in Cape Town, SA to be precise. Straight into principal number one: I did not go there to get laid. I don't judge myself by my lay count. Age comes with benefits; one being that it becomes more natural to DGAF. Sex was not going to be a marker of a successful holiday. I went to enjoy myself and explore. You might call this a form of outcome independence.
Upon arrival, needing a chill after a long journey I took a shower to refresh myself, lay on the bed for an hour. Decided what I wanted to do for the next couple of days, then hit Tinder and Bumble for 20 mins, register my presence in the city, see if I can make a few matches. And then went out. To get my bearings, start exploring, and enjoying myself. Got pretty drunk.
I'm a morning person. I was up early the next day to start hitting my tourist check points. Before heading out I checked my phone, a few matches, spoke to some of them. On Bumble (which incidentally is my least favourite app) I got chatting to an American girl (I’m British) who had been at a wedding and was flying home in a few days. She was available on her last day and wanted to see some tourist spots. I told her I was planning to take a hire car south: Boulders Bay (to see the penguin colony), and the Cape of Good Hope. Invited her along. Passed a couple of comfort tests, just made it pretty clear I was a tourist in town and not some local rapist. She was keen, she wanted to see more sights. Arrangements made.
I continue my holiday, I checked in with her on WhatsApp once or twice...short messages "enjoy your day", not much more. The night before our date I told her I'd ping her when I woke in the morning and come pick her up.
So, the date. Woke up, pinged her, showered, went to pick her up. It was pretty early, about 8/9am. She comes out of her accommodation bringing her suitcase. I'm aware her flight is late that night. This is a one shot.
To me the purpose of game, is to create, or enhance natural "chemistry". I'm not an idiot. I knew we had some natural chemistry and could at least get on for the day within about 10 minutes of us chatting. We drove off. The usual first-date-first-hour small talk, I can't remember what, but we were cracking jokes pretty soon.
At this point I'll reveal she is 29, I'm 41, though my Bumble profile has me at 36. 12 years my junior; I'm not going to sniff at that.
So, we drive for an hour or so to Boulders Bay, where the penguin colony is. Park in the wrong place, get out walk a bit, get lost. It's all good. We're chatting. Eventually we get to the place. We pay our own entry. This is where I know it is time for me to start upping the ante just a little, still only about 10am. It's perfect; cute little penguins and other wildlife everywhere. She's got her SLR out. On a wooden walkway and we're both so, "ahhh they're so cute", projecting human characteristics onto waddling penguins. I know I've got to start a little kino: easy, she's looking one way, a penguin comes the other way. I tap her upper arm (my favourite place to start) and say some shit, "look at this cute guy!" She turns, totally unaware I've touched her. I wait five minutes and do it again, but this time my touch is slightly more deliberate. I press my whole palm against the back of her upper-arm to get her attention. One of my favourite early kino moves. You are starting to lead the way, showing dominance, putting her in an ever-so-slightly submissive position.
We wrap things up laughing and joking, getting a few pictures "for your Instagram", which allows me to take her phone from her hand, get a tiny bit of skin contact. Time to move onto the next venue. Back in the car things are going well. I listen to her, ask her a few questions, and importantly, chill in the silence. Allow the silence to fill the car. People who are comfortable together don't have to fill the room with noise.
We stop a few more times on the way to the Cape of Good Hope, but moving the story along, there's a beach, which is going to take a walk and some cliff scrambling to get to. Again, perfect. I lead the way, when I sense her faltering, I turn, offer my hand, help her up a rock or two, then retract. Don't want to smother her. But now we are gently holding hands every couple of minutes. Kino level up. On the top of a rock face, more pics. Nobody is taking the extra walk to the beach. I lead, "I'm not coming halfway around the world to not see that beach." We push on further. Get to the beach, it's deserted. It's beautiful. The sand is golden and soft and the sky is blue.
We take our shoes off and get our feet in the sea which is freezing. A few giggles and we step back from the waves. And then I make my biggest play yet, grab her and make efforts to throw her in. She screams. Again, perfect. I drop the game quickly; as I said, I don't want to smother her. Emotion is spiked; job done. And we walk up and down the beach. Plenty of eye contact, which I start holding for longer. To be honest it's all too idyllic, and I'm already thinking this is on the cards and I've just got to guide this home. The clock is ticking though, and there is still work to do. We scramble back to the car, which means a bit more hand holding, and more casual chatting.
Back at the car I told her I want to drive along Chapmans Peak Drive, I'd heard it was a beautiful drive to take. I didn’t mention this would be then leading us back towards Cape Town, but it wasn’t necessary, she had a flight late that night anyway. No need to reveal my true intent. I tell her I'm hungry, ask her if she wants lunch, and lead again, "I like steak, let's go for a steak". On the drive back north, and during lunch the conversation gets a bit deeper. She tells me some pretty dark secrets, I reveal I'm actually 41, divorced, 2 kids. Own that shit fellow dads. If they don’t like it then bye-bye; but in my experience most women just roll with it.
So the conversation has become more meaningful, we've eaten, and we hit Chapmans Peak Drive. It is indeed beautiful. I stop the car a few times to look out across the bay. On the 3rd time she sits on a rock to soak up the view. I was behind her. The rock was literally big enough for two.
It sounds simple, but this my friends, is one of those moments that separate the men from the boys. I knew this was a big opportunity. I thought quick, made the decision, and didn't stall. I sat right down beside her. Our arms were pressed together. We chatted for about 30 seconds, I kept myself pressed against her, building the sexual tension. When we looked into each other’s eyes I held the gaze. As did she. It's on. I went straight in for the kiss, she reciprocated. We kissed and chatted for a little while.
This next bit, I probably acted a little too soon, but the countdown was still on. In a break in kissing I looked at her and said, "so, you wanna come back to mine and watch some Netflix?"
In return I get some LMR, "the jury's still out on that one."
But I'm experienced (41 remember ;) ), and I'm calm. I lean back slightly, shrug, say nothing.
That tiny withdrawal of my attention was all it took, and within a couple of seconds she continued, "but the jury could still be brought back around."
*Fuck me*, I thought, *that was fucking easy*. In all honesty I felt a bit smug inside. The calmer you are, the more confident, the less desperate, the easier it is to overcome LMR. Not only that, but the LMR you are presented with tends to get weaker and weaker.
We kiss again, and then I'm like "let's get out of here".
Kids. If you've just made out with a woman for the first time, don't go all soppy and googley eyed. Show her that you're a man and you are used to doing that shit: I didn't mention the kiss, I didn't talk any more about going to my place, I didn't ask what she wanted to do next. If you dwell on what’s just happened, you’re gonna talk yourself out of the pussy. Less is most definitely more. We chatted about other shit, as if the kissing had never happened. And I drove. Back to my AirBnB.
Got there, mid afternoon, led her in. Importantly, didn't make out with her. We’d been in the car again for an hour, the sexual tension had dropped, and she was in a strangers digs. It was time rebuild a little, not just go ploughing straight in. Stayed calm and collected. Luckily the AirBnB had left a bottle of wine for me, so I offered her a glass. Then I set about getting some music on Spotify on my laptop. I didn't touch her, I didn't get close, I let her get comfortable in the surroundings. She sat on the sofa, I sat on a stool against the kitchen/breakfast top.
Chatted a bit, probably for 15 minutes. She was happy. Then I made my move. She had a couple of tattoos (not a big fan but, hey), so I make things a bit personal. "What's the story with that tattoo?" She explains. I'm still sitting at a distance. And she continues, "I've another on my back."
That was the trigger point. I re-sexualised. Calmly, and with authority. "I'm going to have a look in a minute." I loved this line. I was telling her, indirectly and confidently, we are about to have sex. She says nothing. I make a bit more chit chat, a couple more minutes, then stand up, walk over, sit next to her, chink wine glasses, and kiss her.
No more details. This aint a porno.
A couple of hours later, she's still got four or five hours till her flight, we hit a local pub, get drunk, have a great couple of hours fun and laughter, and then I pack her in Uber off to the airport.
No drama, no tears, never to see each other again. One of those times where the circumstances are on point, and using your game, not pushing too hard, you get the business done. She texted me a few times saying the day was “perfect”. Who knows, maybe next time I’m in the States I can look her up.
TheCookShow 5y ago
Nice report ! Enjoyed reading it, and picked off some points.
Would love to read more from your travels.
redpill77 5y ago
Love the detail you give. A girl on vacation is easy mode, would like to see a FR in a more difficult setting, too.
hazelstein 5y ago
Great FR, Love the details.
Speedracer1111 5y ago
Excellent FR.
It's good to see you did what made you happy.and got a little piece of ass on the side.
Honestly, you were getting laid no matter what. She wasn't looking for a tour guide on Bumble. She wanted to get laid in SA. Granted, your adventurous trip is likely why she selected you amongst her other options. Plus she brought her suitcase.
Anyway, well played and well written. It's a breath of fresh air to read posts from guys around my age, 40+.
btrpb 5y ago
Which is one of the tenants of TRP: build an interesting life. I sold her that day-trip-o-travel that I was already planning to make and she bought into it over whatever other matches she'd made that week.
Speedracer1111 5y ago
Let me rephrase, as I travel internationally a lot for fun, I don't think it is a big deal.
You are living a fun and interesting life, doing what you want to do. Even after you met a girl, you still did your thing and she was an accent to what was going to be an awesome day.
My constructive criticism is what you wrote applies to the non-dating app girl. Tinder/Bumble girl is already DTF. So, if you are successful in meeting her, it's an almost certain lock. Then topping it off, she is on vacation.
Keep in mind, people will read this as a playbook and think that's what they have to do with Bumble girl.
GodOfDinosaurs 5y ago
Well done all around. However, I wouldn't have told her your actual age especially because you listed a different age on the app. This could come off as both deceptive and insecure and I don't see a reason for it. This is your only mistake in my book though.
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leyxk 5y ago
it's pathetic to lie about age.
londontownboy 5y ago
and that's your contribution.....
babayega 5y ago
If you are confident telling her that you are 41 anyway, why set Bumble to 36? Doesn't it just add more difficulty trying to explain that without sounding insecure?
ogkushinjapan 5y ago
Setting it a little lower might make it easier to match with girls 18-24 maybe.
btrpb 5y ago
Because app dating, as we all know, is not a level playing field. So I take what advantage I can, and clear up the mess later.
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crzed1 5y ago
Brutal honesty works.
londontownboy 5y ago
This is a real FR and lots of tips - OP great work.
Most of the stuff here is written by 16years old living a fantasy. This on the otherhand, is well written and uses Redpill logic.
Posts like these are why I read the TRP
flashkicker23 5y ago
OP, were you complimenting or flirting with her verbally throughout the day? Also how would you have recalibrated when she said the thing about the jury being still out and hadn't retracted it a few moments later?
btrpb 5y ago
I didn't complement her once throughout the day. The flirting was me teasing her a little about her life choices when she started telling me more meaningful stuff, and me slowly ramping up the kino throughout the day as described.
If she hadn't retracted her LMR, I still would have said nothing. My go-to for any tricky situation is to say nothing. If you can hold your nerve, they normally come back. I'd already kissed her and was feeling pretty confident so think I still would have been able to take her back to my digs. There may have been more LMR to work through, but things would have still been positive.
KeffirLime 5y ago
Solid FR.
There's so many travelers who visit cities alone and want nothing more than someone to "show them around".
If you live in a big city, hit the tourist spots(or tinder) and offer to show them around or explore with them.
It sets up great plausible deniability, gives you an opportunity to take control and lead her places and you'll probably see some pretty amazing sights and views along the way which is great for building that romantic tension.
Closing is far easier too because she's already in an adventurous mindset and there's no social reputation cost for casual sex.
Summer in a tourist hotspot is like fishing with dynamite.
Helpcalculus 5y ago
Can confirm. I show tourists around as a hobby during summer. The difference between locals and tourist girls in like night and day.
Sighters 5y ago
Great FR. Planning on visiting SA myself as well. Hope to there will be more to come ;)
Crixusgannicus 5y ago
Good show Mate. Well played!
atticusfinch1973 5y ago
Perfect layout and FR. Most notable was that you were really smart about the push/pull dynamic and had good sense to recognize that she could easily rabbit at any point if you pushed it - this is something a lot of younger guys here need to learn.
This is usually the point where you can figure out if she's going to fuck you or not. If she does this she's thinking hard about it and basically you just have to not fuck it up. If she starts avoiding long eye contact or withdraws kino then it's a sign either she's changed her mind or you need to recalibrate.
paul_ernst 5y ago
And that kids, is how it's done. That simple dynamic which was going on in that room before the second kiss, I'd say that is the true privilege of women in meeting strong stoic men like OP. All those women out there, they need us for adventures like this.
Nicely written and an enjoyable read.
TheImpossible1 5y ago
Can we please stop funding the enemy? They're literally funnelling whatever they make off you into making a system to cut you out of the workplace.
ForsakenSalt 5y ago
Without a doubt the most insufferable cunts are on that one.
I'm a decent dude, on all other apps, in bars, on trains I get some attention. Not every girl, but enough to get by.
On that fucking thing, all that ever swiped me was entitled, fat 4s & 5s.
It really panders to the worst of female nature and modern feminism.
Avoid it my brothers!
Imperator_Red 5y ago
How am I funding them? I used their app to get laid a few times and gave them zero dollars.
ProofPear6 5y ago
Not agreeing with the argument but I think it goes like this: You feed into the network effect. You are a valuable guy, that attracts valuable women, that attracts hungry guys, hungry guys pay money.
ALLTHEUSERNAMESRFUKI 5y ago
Are you joking? You think women can work better than men? That program will be a spectacular failure, and if not, the companies which hire those employees will be.
TheImpossible1 5y ago
I don't, but HR (full of women) won't care. Their hatred far eclipses their desire to succeed.
ALLTHEUSERNAMESRFUKI 5y ago
Then watch the company crumble. If your HR is really like that, it may be time to find a new company.
TheImpossible1 5y ago
They're all like that. HR is a position that only attracts radfem trash.
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LatchNessMonster 5y ago
Stop working in industries where women can replace you and you won't have that problem
TheImpossible1 5y ago
I don't do manual labor. No disrespect to people who do it though. Just not for me.
ALLTHEUSERNAMESRFUKI 5y ago
Then do stem, women aren’t smart enough to join.
gmikeygdizzle 5y ago
They hire them anyway
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Imperator_Red 5y ago
And this is why women love vacation. This is such a ridiculous lay (what kind of woman spends an entire day with a stranger in a foreign country on her last day before flying home?), that I'd be willing to bet that this chick had a boyfriend back home.
She flew to the wedding alone and got all hot and bothered from the drinking and partying, but couldn't cheat because she knows people there. Next day she wakes up, hops on bumble, and finds some anonymous reputation preserving cock to sample before heading back home to reality.
looneyniggabunny 5y ago
Finally a good FR on this forum for a long time! Feels good to not read some shit 16-17 yo writes lol
wobbleelbbow 5y ago
29 year old wall approaching female. Not that impressive. And with tats. If you expect everybody here pat you on the back then nope, it is just typical humble bragging. Good for you and all that but the fact that she was from bumble, an app designed specifically to hooking up, makes it much less interesting story than if you just cold approached her.
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