This simple technique allows you to make a conversation sexual, but to blame it on the girl.
Once, I met a girl at a club who was my definition of a perfect 10: she was stunning, athletic, intelligent, and highly charismatic. The interaction was going well, but I was not confident in my ability to get a girl of this caliber. I had just started learning game and I felt genuinely intimidated.
Fortunately, I actually got her to make the first move by using sexual framing.
At one point during our conversation, I blurted out, “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.” She stared at me, confused, before saying, “Of course not.”
Later that night, she called a cab and told me to get in with her. As we arrived at her place, she immediately walked into her room and left the door open. I hesitantly followed her. As I stepped into the room, she said, “Close the door behind you.” I looked towards her and noticed that she was on the bed, completely naked, inviting me to join her.
It’s rare that a girl will initiate sex like in the above story. But by framing the girl as the one who’s trying to get laid, she will feel an urge to prove that she is desirable (https://redpilltheory.com/2019/02/10/how-i-used-sexual-framing-to-seduce-a-perfect-10/). Ironically, to accomplish this goal, she must actively chase you which is exactly what you were accusing her of doing.
To be clear, you can’t rely on this as a technique to get women to make the first sexual move – that won’t usually happen.
However, framing the girl as the sexual aggressor can change the power dynamic in your favor while also incentivizing her to start pursuing you more actively.
Other than saying, “We’re not going to have sex tonight.” You can use sexual framing by saying:
“What do you do for fun when you’re not blatantly hitting on guys?”
“Why do you keep looking at my lips?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?” (She may say, “Like what?” You can respond, “Like you have bad intentions.”)
“You’re kind of aggressive with guys, aren’t you? I can tell.”
“Why are you so attracted to me?” (As she explains, you can cut her off, and say, “No, it’s okay, it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” This one in particular takes a lot of confidence to pull off.)
If delivered with certainty, the above lines are all effective at making a girl feel an emotional desire to pursue you.
But being so cocky is prone to backfire: saying something like, “Why are you so attracted to me?” won’t get a positive reaction if your interaction was friendly more than sexual. Sexual framing can increase a girl’s interest for you, but it won’t create desire by itself.
Using bold techniques may occasionally create a moment of awkwardness, but that’s actually a good thing because it’s valuable feedback: now you know that your interactions aren’t coming across as flirtatious enough to get away with sexual framing.
This is a sign that a. your nonverbal communication isn’t where it needs to be and
b. your conversation is too friendly (it’s not creating enough tension.)
Although trying a technique and getting negative feedback is uncomfortable, it’s much better to take a risk and fail than to play it safe and have no chance of succeeding in the first place.
When you take risks you can learn to calibrate from your mistakes, but when you never take a risk, there’s no chance of getting the result you want. And that's the number one reason guys don't get the sex lives they desire.
chodmode2 5y ago
I have quite a muscular body and a good bulge so when I catch girls checking my pecs, biceps, bulge I use the classic "My eyes are up here". I'll use this even if she isn't and then when she does I'll say "See, I just caught you again!". I also use "I'm not a piece of meat, I have feelings too.." or "We're not having sex tonight" (+ I throw in "..I'm on my period" if I get LMR).
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Love the 'What do you do when you're not hitting on guys'. Stealing that.
uniqueeleni 5y ago
Most of those (especially the bad intentions one) are cringey.
chodmode2 5y ago
It's not cringey if you're if you're congruent with it but yeah, I'd use only 2-3 of them, not the entire list.
mortsdans 5y ago
I don't think these are meant to be canned pickup lines said exactly how written, more like examples. Plus, way dumber things have worked.
pm_me_tangibles 5y ago
Excellent practice at not giving a f tho. I’d say worth doing just to enhance your outcome independence.
AstuteBlackMan 5y ago
It's one thing to not give a fuck and it's another to say some weird corny shit.
But then again it Depends on the moment and the hotter you are the more she'll let it slide
pm_me_tangibles 5y ago
outcome independence = not caring if you fail. saying stupid shit = intentionally failing. hence the former can train the latter.
uniqueeleni 5y ago
I guess, but I think it would be better if someone used bold, but somewhat good lines.
pm_me_tangibles 5y ago
much easier once outcome independence is achieved, potentially via making a fool of yourself.
Frenetic_Zetetic 5y ago
What happened to being uninterested in sex, because you are, and genuinely have better things to do...and thus ironically attract more sex because that's what a genuine frame IS...?
Not bashing OP (solid post); I just notice more and more of these "Yes, we call that FRAME" posts, lol.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
Interesting take on the reverse psychology angle. It can work, but while the results can be hit or miss, the important aspect is how you are recalibarating your outlook from a scarcity mentality to an abundance mentality. Fake it 'til you make it, in other words.
I've used similar tricks, even up to flipping the script and using some of their own lines from the ASD/LMR arsenal:
"Sorry, but I don't usually fuck on the first date."
"I'm not playing hard to get. I AM hard to get."
"Will you still respect me in the morning?"
"Nice guys don't stay for breakfast."
Goofy, semi-autistic stuff can work, but you have to be almost theatrical so they know you are joking. Watch some stand-up comedy to get a good feel for where the line between funny and douche is marked - then, make like Johnny Cash and "walk that line." This gives you a very organic set-up for the push-pull dynamic, where she is in your frame, instead of you reacting to her attempts to shit-test.
You can go even further, but you must have the mindset of "outcome independence." I was chatting someone up a few months ago when one of her friends started butting in, trying to steer the conversation. Except what she was really up to was trying to cock-block. My prospect was laughing and flirty, lightly slapping my arm or shoulder and making comments like "you're so bad," or "you really don't care what people think, do you?" - but still smiling and giggling.
Her friend kept trying to derail things, so I went off on her, but in a funny way. I pantomimed blowing a whistle and throwing a flag . . . then I cupped my hands over my mouth to get a stadium PA effect. "Pass interference . . . number 42, defense . . . half the distance to the goal . . . repeat 2nd down."
The prospect's eyes went wide with shock and she started doubling over with laughter, while her cock-blocking friend turned red and stalked off to get another drink. And, yes her friend got left behind while we wandered off to a nearby restaurant before going to her place. Lead, and they will follow.
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master_mind0 5y ago
How might somebody change their speech so that he creates tension rather than just being friendly? But at the same time isn't too much of a dickhead
AstuteBlackMan 5y ago
I feel this technique doesn't even matter. She probably wanted you from the start regardless. You just didnt fuck up the attraction and maintained frame.
Not saying this doesn't work but this is probably less than 5% of the reason you got laid.
YourZenemy 5y ago
I'm curious about the psychology behind this. SOMEONE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE, COME THROUGH AND BLESS US.
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You can frame her as the aggressor in different scenarios - with or without 'corny' lines ;)
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I experienced something kind of similar during a shit test the other day. Ex said "You're not getting lucky tonight" to which I replied, "Seems like you're the one with sex on your mind." ... half a glass of wine and 30 minutes was all it took for her to break her anti-sex 'cleanse' and fuck my brains out.
Just take a situation and make it your own. Literally owning it.
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