This is a long post, and longer story, but I think it serves as a very important reminder that no matter how far you come, you always have more to learn. The anger and denial phase can be long, and in my case, very long. I have been a lurker on this forum since the beginning. I was brought here by my younger brother, who knew I was already slightly RedPilled naturally as a result of a very damaging relationship my Junior year of college that resulted in my miraculous win against a Kangaroo Court on behalf of my psycho ex, a Bipolar HB9. He figured this thread would help me move the rest of the way. It did. Seven years later.

I am not naturally Alpha, though I think I would have been if not for my father. I was raised by a father who is literally a Cuck (our brother is from my mom’s brief attempt to branch swing,) who’s only advice he ever gives me when I fail in anything is to lower my standards. Didn’t get the girl? Go for less hot ones. Didn’t get the job? Don’t be so ambitious. Didn’t get into that school? Apply for less competitive ones. Add onto that my parents conversion to hard line TradCaths, and you can see how BluePilled my house was.

I thought I swallowed the pill naturally my freshman year of college. I was fat, unconfident, and didn’t get laid at all my entire freshman year. I had lost my virginity after High School graduation to a HB6, but it was a pitty fuck. We both wanted to get laid before college and that was that. I was also a member of a fraternity and literally every other guy was swimming in women, so I was fortunate enough to find mentors and break the trend. Previously, the only male role model I had was a man who was divorce raped by his wife, and then TOOK HER BACK after she got filled with Chad’s Cum and dumped, so my father chose to raise Chad’s Baby and pump out another four “because that’s what God wants.” Thanks to the real men I was now around, I was like Doctor Strange. I had to relearn masculinity. I lifted. I ate better. I developed better posture. I became more confident. I went from the smart, constantly friend zoned High School student to a college Sophomore that was running through the ladies and developing the body of a Greek god. Then the aforementioned lady, we shall call her Monica, happened.

I met Monica the beginning of my Junior year. She was fucking SMOKING. Literally and figuratively. 18, Size 00, scene hair (this was 2012 folks) tats, piercings, tight ass and nice tits. I was a massive vagina though, and never developed the courage to talk to her. And that’s my point. I was hot now, and I had been successful with women, but I had not internalized my confidence. I was entirely outcome dependent. The only reason I got in shape was to get validation from women, and while I now looked completely different, I was still the same little pussy I had always been. The only reason I was getting laid was that I was surrounded by drunk and horny sorority girls, I had muscles and a big dick, and they wanted the D.

Me and Monica had similar schedules and where the only two smokers in my honors program, and literally shared smoke breaks three times a day, and I NEVER ONCE SPOKE to her. Until she came to a Frat party one night. One of the actual alphas was hitting on her, and asked me if he could bum a smoke to give to her. In some miraculous swell of frat boy jealousy, I developed the courage to talk to her. It was an amazing night. This is cringe, so be forewarned. I am just expressing my feelings as they where at the time, and I now realize how fucked I was. We spent the whole night talking. In my bed. Alone. In my dorm. Around booze and other dudes RAILING hot chicks, I spent the whole night TALKING. I was in love immediately.

We started casually dating. We had shit loads in common. We where both metal heads, had fucked up childhoods, where super smart but also hung with cool kids, you know, all the shit you believed mattered when you where a BluePill Beta. Most of these where personal details and red flags (that I thought where good) that I won’t get into. We fucked after I literally begged to not be in the friend zone and bought her flowers and serenaded her with an acoustic rendition of an August Burns Red song (the cringe is unreal.) I now realize that I granted her inside social access to Greek life, and keeping me as her main Beta Orbiter was a definite necessity. I then simply thought we where in love. We never officially dated, and the relationship was a constant mix of her accusing me of cheating, her gas lighting fights when I brought up her inappropriate behavior (flirting with my brothers in front of me, taking my shit, mocking me, like this was bad dudes). She gave me access on occasion, but it was mostly her just laying down and not being involved at all.

As an important aside to the story later, the biggest fight we got in was over a “romantic” text I sent to a girl (let’s call her Jan) I knew from elementary school that I hadn’t seen in 12 years and was deeply in love with. God Nice Guy Betas are awful people. Jan is important and will be a main element of the story later.

Seven months of constant drama ensued. Over the course of our “relationship,” she had broken my laptop (with several billion dollars worth of Bitcoin I purchased in 2009), burned my clothes, physically assaulted my roommate, attacked my cat, and emotionally and physically abused me. I was still with her. I loved her. Then it all came to a head.

I met her boyfriend seven months into our relationship. She would often go home on weekends and not speak to me much, but I was delusional. I thought the dude was her high school ex, but he persisted that he was dating her and that he knew I was her “best friend.” I didn’t start a confrontation because I was still a huge pussy. I just let it lie. He stayed the weekend, and I’m sure they had crazy sex that I never had. I asked her about it, and she said he was having a hard time and needed a place to stay and that they needed to be alone. She kissed me goodbye, and I didn’t see her for three days.

Paranoias ensued. The guy literally told me he was fucking and dating her, but she insisted that he was a liar and trying to make me jealous and I believed her. Eventually I had the guts to end it. I walked into her room to break it off while she was getting railed by a 7’2 Division 1 Basketball Player (who is now pro). Yea. That was brutal. Come to find out she had been ridden more than Seabiscuit. I was devastated, and to top it all off, she later accused me of sexual assault and I only didn’t get fucked because her roommates boyfriend witnessed the incident that was entirely consensual. Thank god for you, wherever you are. You saved my life.

I then discovered this Forum, and my life would change forever. Or so I thought. Stay tuned for Part 2.

This story was abridged. This chick was literally crazy, had all the red flags you can think of, and is the epitome of every BluePill example you have read. But it’s important to the real nuts and bolts of my longer message that this ground work be established.

EDIT: The value of the Bitcoin was exaggerated for dramatic effect. I don’t know the exact value as I purchased it from a minor in 2009 before there was even a marketplace. All I know is it was a lot, and I spent a little. Again, no one thought anything of that shit especially after the value didn’t take off in three months like we thought it would back then.