This is a long post, and longer story, but I think it serves as a very important reminder that no matter how far you come, you always have more to learn. The anger and denial phase can be long, and in my case, very long. I have been a lurker on this forum since the beginning. I was brought here by my younger brother, who knew I was already slightly RedPilled naturally as a result of a very damaging relationship my Junior year of college that resulted in my miraculous win against a Kangaroo Court on behalf of my psycho ex, a Bipolar HB9. He figured this thread would help me move the rest of the way. It did. Seven years later.
I am not naturally Alpha, though I think I would have been if not for my father. I was raised by a father who is literally a Cuck (our brother is from my mom’s brief attempt to branch swing,) who’s only advice he ever gives me when I fail in anything is to lower my standards. Didn’t get the girl? Go for less hot ones. Didn’t get the job? Don’t be so ambitious. Didn’t get into that school? Apply for less competitive ones. Add onto that my parents conversion to hard line TradCaths, and you can see how BluePilled my house was.
I thought I swallowed the pill naturally my freshman year of college. I was fat, unconfident, and didn’t get laid at all my entire freshman year. I had lost my virginity after High School graduation to a HB6, but it was a pitty fuck. We both wanted to get laid before college and that was that. I was also a member of a fraternity and literally every other guy was swimming in women, so I was fortunate enough to find mentors and break the trend. Previously, the only male role model I had was a man who was divorce raped by his wife, and then TOOK HER BACK after she got filled with Chad’s Cum and dumped, so my father chose to raise Chad’s Baby and pump out another four “because that’s what God wants.” Thanks to the real men I was now around, I was like Doctor Strange. I had to relearn masculinity. I lifted. I ate better. I developed better posture. I became more confident. I went from the smart, constantly friend zoned High School student to a college Sophomore that was running through the ladies and developing the body of a Greek god. Then the aforementioned lady, we shall call her Monica, happened.
I met Monica the beginning of my Junior year. She was fucking SMOKING. Literally and figuratively. 18, Size 00, scene hair (this was 2012 folks) tats, piercings, tight ass and nice tits. I was a massive vagina though, and never developed the courage to talk to her. And that’s my point. I was hot now, and I had been successful with women, but I had not internalized my confidence. I was entirely outcome dependent. The only reason I got in shape was to get validation from women, and while I now looked completely different, I was still the same little pussy I had always been. The only reason I was getting laid was that I was surrounded by drunk and horny sorority girls, I had muscles and a big dick, and they wanted the D.
Me and Monica had similar schedules and where the only two smokers in my honors program, and literally shared smoke breaks three times a day, and I NEVER ONCE SPOKE to her. Until she came to a Frat party one night. One of the actual alphas was hitting on her, and asked me if he could bum a smoke to give to her. In some miraculous swell of frat boy jealousy, I developed the courage to talk to her. It was an amazing night. This is cringe, so be forewarned. I am just expressing my feelings as they where at the time, and I now realize how fucked I was. We spent the whole night talking. In my bed. Alone. In my dorm. Around booze and other dudes RAILING hot chicks, I spent the whole night TALKING. I was in love immediately.
We started casually dating. We had shit loads in common. We where both metal heads, had fucked up childhoods, where super smart but also hung with cool kids, you know, all the shit you believed mattered when you where a BluePill Beta. Most of these where personal details and red flags (that I thought where good) that I won’t get into. We fucked after I literally begged to not be in the friend zone and bought her flowers and serenaded her with an acoustic rendition of an August Burns Red song (the cringe is unreal.) I now realize that I granted her inside social access to Greek life, and keeping me as her main Beta Orbiter was a definite necessity. I then simply thought we where in love. We never officially dated, and the relationship was a constant mix of her accusing me of cheating, her gas lighting fights when I brought up her inappropriate behavior (flirting with my brothers in front of me, taking my shit, mocking me, like this was bad dudes). She gave me access on occasion, but it was mostly her just laying down and not being involved at all.
As an important aside to the story later, the biggest fight we got in was over a “romantic” text I sent to a girl (let’s call her Jan) I knew from elementary school that I hadn’t seen in 12 years and was deeply in love with. God Nice Guy Betas are awful people. Jan is important and will be a main element of the story later.
Seven months of constant drama ensued. Over the course of our “relationship,” she had broken my laptop (with several billion dollars worth of Bitcoin I purchased in 2009), burned my clothes, physically assaulted my roommate, attacked my cat, and emotionally and physically abused me. I was still with her. I loved her. Then it all came to a head.
I met her boyfriend seven months into our relationship. She would often go home on weekends and not speak to me much, but I was delusional. I thought the dude was her high school ex, but he persisted that he was dating her and that he knew I was her “best friend.” I didn’t start a confrontation because I was still a huge pussy. I just let it lie. He stayed the weekend, and I’m sure they had crazy sex that I never had. I asked her about it, and she said he was having a hard time and needed a place to stay and that they needed to be alone. She kissed me goodbye, and I didn’t see her for three days.
Paranoias ensued. The guy literally told me he was fucking and dating her, but she insisted that he was a liar and trying to make me jealous and I believed her. Eventually I had the guts to end it. I walked into her room to break it off while she was getting railed by a 7’2 Division 1 Basketball Player (who is now pro). Yea. That was brutal. Come to find out she had been ridden more than Seabiscuit. I was devastated, and to top it all off, she later accused me of sexual assault and I only didn’t get fucked because her roommates boyfriend witnessed the incident that was entirely consensual. Thank god for you, wherever you are. You saved my life.
I then discovered this Forum, and my life would change forever. Or so I thought. Stay tuned for Part 2.
This story was abridged. This chick was literally crazy, had all the red flags you can think of, and is the epitome of every BluePill example you have read. But it’s important to the real nuts and bolts of my longer message that this ground work be established.
EDIT: The value of the Bitcoin was exaggerated for dramatic effect. I don’t know the exact value as I purchased it from a minor in 2009 before there was even a marketplace. All I know is it was a lot, and I spent a little. Again, no one thought anything of that shit especially after the value didn’t take off in three months like we thought it would back then.
SoulRedemption 5y ago
Only glanced at your post. Too much text, reads like a story. Your title makes it sound like you thought you swallowed the Red Pill 7 years ago only to realize after that 7 years you still havent swallowed it properly. But thats not the case is it?
I suggest you change the title of yout next post, this could be a rant or a dinosaur or a mix.
Quit seeking validation.
XxBeans373 5y ago
It is a story, and that is the case. I don’t seek validation anymore as you will find if you continue reading. Too much text isn’t a problem. Another element of this is that point by point posts that are prevalent on here isn’t challenging. The whole point of the RedPill is to get away from the idea of a dogmatic system and be able to do what you want. Small texted point by points don’t do a good job at expressing that.
KakarotSSJ4 5y ago
That bitch cost you your Bitcoin. That shit pissed me off reading that. God damn you could've been set for life. It's not even like you sold early, you legit had Bitcoin in your possession. The way you tell the story makes it hard to believe it's true though.
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BobbyPeru 5y ago
I kept waiting for the part when you swallowed the pill, and then you gave me a cliffhanger
monsieurhire2 5y ago
Wait a minute, billions of dollars of bitcoin on your laptop, yet you are complaining about this stupid skank?
Why, with that money, you could buy a barracks full of skanks. Your own personal private skank barracks.
Seriously, bro, priorities.
Work on recovering that bitcoin, and while you are at it, send us all some.
SRSLY.
XxBeans373 5y ago
The hardrive was completely destroyed, and was literally smashed to pieces. I never backed up anything. Again, I purchased shitloads when Bitcoin like first came out, and didn’t really think anything of it until the bubble a few years ago. At the time, Bitcoin still wasn’t worth much.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
You bought shitloads of it... didn't back it up... and didn't really think anything of it. You and/or your family must be loaded.
Anyway, I suggest, assuming you still have the hard-drive in your possession, to at least try. It's amazing what they can do with data recovery, especially if properly motivated. Hell, offer the recovery team 20%. "Smashed to pieces" does not necessarily mean the data is unrecoverable. Also, hard-drives are not that easy to destroy.
XxBeans373 5y ago
Not really. I purchased it from a miner like when it first came out and had zero value. I think I paid him like 200 bucks for thousands of Bitcoin. It wasn’t regulated back then. I was exaggerating sure, it was probably more like hundreds of millions, but still. And again, I trashed the hard drive after it happened. Gone forever. I’m seriously over it. Lesson learned.
monsieurhire2 5y ago
So, you took it to a forensic grade data recovery specialist, the kind that large international law firms hire to discovery, then?
If the answer is no, and if the machine is still in your possession, then go take it to one of those companies.
If, on the other hand, the machine was thrown in a dumpster years ago, and presumably sent to an incinerator, or into a landfill, then I guess it really is gone.
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monsieurhire2 5y ago
Yeah, I figured. Also, the part about the Chad guy who was ugly and had a small dick sounded like a segue into some sort of PUA marketing schtick.
XxBeans373 5y ago
It was thrown away LONG ago.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Oh man. Just...yeah. So glad you've changed your ways, and we can only live and learn from the past.
A few takeaways I got. If you don't change internally, nothing really changes. If you don't develop real self-confidence, self assurance and authenticity, you will follow a script in order to mask you insecurity. You may fuck for a little while, but all those insecurities are just waiting to explode, and guide behaviour.
Always escalate. There are no princesses, or 'the one'. If you like a girl, approach, escalate and next if she's not down. Set that frame. No friends, no 'talks', no respectful good guy shit. Hunt prey. Direct, make intentions known. If you don't, she already knows your a beta bitch who will hang around while she acts like that little bitch did.
Be a prize, don't put up with shit. Plenty of other women in the sea. Don't project value onto them, that they don't earn.
And lastly, betaness destroys lives.
​
XxBeans373 5y ago
You read a lot, don’t you? Keep following these threads. I think you’re gonna spark the good discussion I was going for.
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
Yeah, I read a shit load. It's my natural state, and I like to be thorough. I like discovering how people work.
I'm curious as to part two of your story, and how you fully swallowed the pill.
[deleted] 5y ago
I'm instantly convinced that this whole post is an invention so this guy could jerk you all around gasping over lost Bitcoin like 50s housewives circling a called-off engagement.
XxBeans373 5y ago
Ah yes, because I have so much reason to anonymously lie to anonymous strangers on the internet on an anonymous forum. It’s a story, it’s embellished to make it more interesting. If you don’t think other people on here do that, you’re crazy.
[deleted] 5y ago
I could think of a clever, courteous way to say "learn to discern humor," or "lighten the fuck up, my dude."
But, there you have it.
XxBeans373 5y ago
I think it’s pretty clear from this post that I’m a fucking moron, my guy.
goodboy1112111 5y ago
Who was the pro bball player?
ChrimsonChin988 5y ago
I'm sure you could find out in a few minutes (if this is actually true..), not that many guys actually over 7 ft in the NBA. Also, the odds of being 7'2 is probably 1 in a million or even less
XxBeans373 5y ago
Drafted in 2013, US Public School, over 6’10. That’s all the info I will give.
goodboy1112111 5y ago
Why. It's like you owe him something after catching him w/ ur girl?
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GodOfDinosaurs 5y ago
Hahahaha what the fuck is this
XxBeans373 5y ago
Just an aside. It isn’t an important detail. More of an interesting analogy as to how damaging the ONEitis can be in ways people don’t really comprehend.
[deleted] 5y ago
Bro, find a recovery specialist and take back that fucking wallet. Fuck
ChiefBones 5y ago
No. It is an important detail because it reveals how much frat culture is still in charge of how you express yourself. Bitches and frat boys both love to embellish and flaunt themselves. Unfortunately, it makes you come off fake, and it makes your post less credible.
Can you say something that matters without spraying tanning it like a gym frat bro or dressing it up with leggings and Uggs like a sorority slut? Be direct. Be clear. And most of all, be honest.
DeChef2 5y ago
Or you know, it could just be a hyberbole. It doesn't help that he doesn't actually know how much it would be worth now.
​
I'd say you're blowing this slightly out of proportion.
XxBeans373 5y ago
It’s a story. Stories get embellished to make them more interesting. Relax. The content is completely, 100% true.
FatmanO 5y ago
In what part of story is it true a girl ruined you billions of dollars of BTC? Stop writing fanfiction.
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drawden63 5y ago
This is why metalheads and scene kids should never mix. May Manowar bless you and forgive your sins my brother.
bright-morningstar 5y ago
Damn bro, you're crazy ass lover aren't you. Where's the part 2? This was a great read. It has vibes of american pie, like dumb shit and mixture of love and sluttiness.
XxBeans373 5y ago
It’s coming tonight. I’m working on my writing so this doubles as practice.
bright-morningstar 5y ago
Do you shed some tears bruh while writing these stuff? :)
XxBeans373 5y ago
Only over how retarded I was back then. It gets worse.
cupshadow 5y ago
You could be more succinct instead of splitting this into a multiple part story. I wanna read your mistakes and what you learned, not every minute detail is important.
XxBeans373 5y ago
I don’t necessarily disagree, but I am not a fan of the PowerPoint style, tell the reader what to think method that a lot of the content on this thread has evolved into. I much prefer teaching through narrative because it requires a lot more engagement and thinking from the reader. The minute details are important in that they add to the story, and even simple details can convey more meaning than simply expressing facts.
SoyTanto 5y ago
Well, you made me feel better about myself knowing you were worse.
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surfthroughlife 5y ago
Bitcoin was invented in 2009 you fucking retard.
XxBeans373 5y ago
Yea, it was a typo you fucking assclown.
surfthroughlife 5y ago
You fuck, did you at least recover the drive?
XxBeans373 5y ago
Nah. I didn’t think anything of it in 2012 when this happened. Bitcoin still wasn’t worth shit. Hindsight is 20/20.
surfthroughlife 5y ago
You mine it or purchase it?
XxBeans373 5y ago
Purchased it with cash from a dude I knew in High School. He was how I figured out about Bitcoin in the first place.
surfthroughlife 5y ago
Damn bro, let’s go dumpster diving.
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