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- Hide Preview | 22 Comments | submitted about a year ago by XxBeans373 [Post Locked]

I know this is a long story, and I know there have been a thousand like this posted on here. I promise, I am getting to the content, the point, and the discussion eventually. For now, its just a story. Feel free to berate. I know how difficult all of this is to read. Trust me, it is worse to write, and even worse to live. Remember, there is a difference in knowing the RedPill, and taking the RedPill. This whole thing will make sense eventually.


Following the typical BluePill, ONEitis failure, I discovered this forum. I spent about a six month period of time in monk mode. I got back to the gym, rapidly consumed the content on this sub and the sidebar, read everything and anything I could on Stoicism, and just generally attempted to unplug. You see, after consuming all this content, I thought I was unplugged. Let me reiterate that I have read the sidebar in its entirety at least ten times since discovering this sub. I knew that AWALT. I knew women didn't want some nurturer. I knew what Alpha traits where, and I knew that those where the things women where looking for. I read it here. I witnessed it in reality. The RedPill really was the truth, and I had been lied to forever. The problem was, I wasn't really fully unplugged. I was a reflection. I externalized Alpha traits, but I never really internalized them. I knew the content, but I didn't really understand it. I was like one of Socrates' companions in the cave. I saw the shadows, but I didn't see what gave their reflection. And this was impossible for me to understand, as I had success with women in college, and this was enough to convince myself that I had become Chad. Boy was I wrong. Getting laid by accident and convincing yourself its because you are king shit was damaging, and the wool was about to be lifted.

Living with Chad

After graduation, I began living with a long time work friend from my hometown. This guy was the definition of Alpha. Army Infantry Vet, charming, funny, and generally did not give a fuck about anything. We got along quite well. We both could out drink and out smoke anyone and everyone. Chad had a soft harem of no less than five girls at any one time. All of them knew about each other, and all of them where deeply in love with him. To give an example of Chad's escapades, I once witnessed him fuck three separate girls, one after another, at the exact same party, all of them fully aware of what just transpired. He even yelled "next" to the last one. It was un-fucking believable. It was like he was a goddamn Rock Star. He actually had girlfriends fighting each other over him. The shit was crazy. He wasn't even exceptionally good looking, and as I would later find out during Chad's gracious generosity and allowance of the good old fashioned Devil's Threeway, that he was not blessed in the size department. He was just, him. Truly, completely, him. I have never met another individual more aware of their own abilities, their own desires, and their own flaws.

I never had the same success. I had read all the content I could think of. I was lifting. I was approaching girls. I was talking to girls. Yet, I did not have any success with in person game. Not one time in the year and a half we lived together did I successfully close a cold approach. We lived in three different cities (we moved around for work) and in every new location, it was the same story. He may have had to try with a few different girls, but if Chad wanted to get laid, he was going to. The only way I ever succeeded in actual real life game was when Chad tossed me the friend of his ONS, or when Chad got tired of his plate, and I took the torch. I cant tell you the number of times I watched Netflix with a girl on our couch while Chad fucked her friend in the other room. I had success (so I told myself) with dating apps. They weren't the quality of women that I really wanted, or that I got in college. It seemed that I had absolutely no issue attracting anyone below a HB5, but I was lucky for even a ONS with anyone better. I was angry and in denial, and I was never aware of what I was doing wrong. I knew all the theory, I knew what to do. There was a living, breathing example in the other room and I STILL couldn't grasp what was happening.

In this part of my journey, I once again became a Beta Orbiter. But, it was not to a ONEitis. Instead, it was to Chad. I wanted to be him. I wanted all the things he had. I started mirroring what Chad was doing. I figured, hell, I will just fake it till I make I make it. There is a reason this is bad fucking advice folks. It brings you down some dark paths. I took the same supplements, followed his routine, asked him questions, and spent a lot of time watching what he did and mimicking it. I would use some of his lines, mirror his facial expressions, feign his aloof nature and complete carefree attitude. It only resulted in more anger and frustration. Sure, I knew the RedPill material. I was best friends with an actual Chad. I was in great shape and was immune to ONEitis. Why wasn't this getting any better? Why was I only able to seduce women I didn't want? Was I not hot enough? Was I not man enough?

Don't get me wrong. I greatly enjoyed the time I spent with Chad. I had a lot of fun, and he tossed me a lot of bones. But it was completely pathetic. It was at this point that I realized, something just was not clicking. I knew the truth about women. I had seen married women, mothers, sisters, Mormons, eighteen year olds, forty two year olds, every ethnicity and temperament imaginable, coming out of Chad's room. One time, I swear I found an actual Hajib in the laundry. I could write an entire novel on this man's conquests. I was angry. Really, really fucking angry. Why did these women act this way? Why where they all so completely dumb and stupid? Why was this little dicked ugly bastard able to sleep with well over two hundred women in the course of eighteen months? I did exactly what he did, and I couldn't hit ten percent of that. I had a degree, Chad didn't. I was smart, Chad wasn't. I was ripped, Chad rocked a soft dad bod. What was I missing?

I got deeply, deeply depressed. I hated my job, I hated my life, and I hated myself. Mostly, I hated women. Chad didn't know how to teach me to be him, because honestly, he was just him. He didn't learn this from books. He didn't read this on a forum or watch it on YouTube. He just, was. No matter how many RedPill threads I read, sets I took, swipes I matched with on Tinder, or nights out with Chad, I just never got to his level. Eventually, this pattern of behavior led me to realize that Chad had one thing that I didn't: he was a veteran. I decided to join the service. Yes, that is as fucking stupid as it sounds. I cannot express how fucking retarded it is to join the military primarily to become more Chad like. What did I say? FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT IS TERRIBLE FUCKING ADVICE. And trust me. This isn't even rock bottom yet.

Stay tuned for Part 3.

[-] Thotwrecker 20 Points about a year ago

To cross the beta / alpha threshold, you must experience things that actually transform you and re-wire how you see yourself, your life, etc.

You need to an actual experience that forces you to develop your own faculties, stop caring about who women like, and because you're fully engaged and passionate -- or even fighting for your own survival -- you don't have the attention span to your own insecurities and your own bitch quests for validation from the world.

Knowledge is cool, but to actually change your lizard brain behaviors, you have to be in a situation where you have enough pressure on you that you harden up and rebuild yourself.

I want to advocate for the mods to keep this post. I think this quote here is worthwhile and insightful enough to redeem the post: "Chad didn't know how to teach me to be him, because honestly, he was just him."

Chad can't teach you how to be him, anymore than you can teach Chad to be a beta nerd. You can't spend your life looking to other men to teach you and guide you, and that includes men on here. Chad can't help you, because Chad generally doesn't not being like him and having to claw his way forward.

It took me 10 years to feel like a natural or to feel genuinely "alpha". I started getting laid after about 6 months of good old David DeAngelo. Fucking love that guy, even if he is a salesman. 6 months in I was feeling like the king of the jungle, but it was only until after about 10 years that I honestly began to feel like I wasn't just acting, and I legitimately felt abundant enough, and natural enough in my own skin.

If I had chased more challenging and ambitious experiences that put more pressure on me -- ie something with higher stakes than doing "pickup" on the weekends, lifting, and blogging my field reports, I probably would have cut that down to a few years.

The more willing you are to pursue experiences that will destroy and rebuild you, the faster you'll cross the beta / alpha threshold.

[-] Bro-I-Got-U 3 Points about a year ago

If I had chased more challenging and ambitious experiences that put more pressure on me -- ie something with higher stakes than

I'm currently 19 and as beta as they come. Do you have any examples of ''high pressure'' activities? I'm already looking in getting a sales job, which is terrifying for me as a introvert, and have been lifting for some time. Killing the beta inside me is want I want to do.


[-] Thotwrecker 7 Points about a year ago

Approach it from a mental / physical / emotional angle. Harden yourself physically by taking up a competitive sport, ie boxing. While lifting is great for the SMV boost, it doesn't simulate combat and force you to grapple with reality in as direct of a way as boxing. (If you are bad or out of shape or otherwise deficient, you wind up losing a lot, and this pain / humiliation puts pressure on you to work harder.

Mentally, you should be doing something wherein your survival / success requires you to really fully use your mental reserves. A good example would be sales in a competitive environment, but only if you are going to approach it from the right mentality. Sales is all about strong mental game and being able to keep everything in perspective - specifically a perspective or frame that is beneficial to you.

Emotionally, this is much harder. To actually harden yourself emotionally and reach a point of emotional low-reactivity - ie, when shit goes down, you can remain calm and clearheaded, and thus capable of leading yourself and a team.... you need to be in emotionally trying situations. This blunts you to emotional color, and allows you to essentially reduce situations to their reality-based components -- it's essentially the useful part of the often fetishized "sociopath" or "dark triad" label. Fucking a lot of bitches does not really give you this, but it sort of can help you get a taste -- after you've fucked and/or plated 30+ girls, it is a lot harder for pretty much anything a woman does to emotionally faze you.

[-] Bro-I-Got-U 2 Points about a year ago

Thank you for the great answer

you need to be in emotionally trying situations. This blunts you to emotional color, and allows you to essentially reduce situations to their reality-based components

Is this why boys who go to war come back as men? The things they go through make them emotionally blunt. I'm not looking to go to war obviously, but except for approaching and fucking a lot of girls, what else can I do to emotionally harden myself?


[-] AvengerSentinel 1 Point about a year ago

You're already on a good track IMO. Keep being tenacious, expand your mind through reading, take calculated risks, aggressively develop your skills, and do honest self-inventory on yourself to fix your flaws and shortcomings.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] mistahgudboi 13 Points about a year ago

OP really gave us a cliff hanger... on fucking reddit.

[-] Shulk-X 4 Points about a year ago

Good writing and unexpected end, keep going :D

[-] INNASKILLZ2K18 4 Points about a year ago

Good part 2.

The takeaway is around the 'just being yourself'. I think that phrase gets too much hate around Red Pill. The truth is, you have to be yourself. Women read performing, acting, trying, pretending from a mile away. Trying to do everything 'red pill' enough, 'alpha' enough, or follow some cookie cutter process is similar to PUA. It's all a fucking performance. At the heart of that performance, it's deeper motivation is neediness. The need for approval.

Yes, we have to go through a lot of changes. We have to rewire our core beliefs about the world, others, women and ourselves. It's not easy, as we've wanted approval and certain results for so long.

We have to learn how to not just 'appear' like we don't give a fuck, but that we actually don't give a fuck. We can't learn a set of behaviors that make us 'look' like we're confident, dominant, high value, we actually have to become confident, dominant, high value.

The thing about your Chad, wasn't anything about the recipe of outside behaviours, it was the internal. The authenticity and honesty with which he lived his frame. Women respond to men who aren't trying, or needy.

When we've done enough reading, have enough knowledge, it's a long process of internalising the way to be. It's a pretty beautiful feeling when you slip into that HONEST frame of 'I genuinely do not give a fuck', I am completely non-needy and raw with my actions and intentions.

The internal processes are the same, but how it all eventually manifests for each guy is going to be different.

I actually think the term 'just be yourself' is a fucking vital one. It just becomes a more honest, raw, empowered, knowledgeable, genuine, authentic, masculine version of yourself. To avoid 'being yourself', and staying stuck thinking you need to pretend to be something different - is going to kill the process and keep you stuck in imitation. Nobody likes imitation. Keep that shit for RSD and PUA.





[-] SKRedPill 3 Points about a year ago

Only when you've started generating your own energy have you come full circle. Subtly, you were still not there.

[-] AshyLarry27 3 Points about a year ago

Very enlightening. The inevitable outcome is the realization that it truly is about being yourself. Being yourself doesn't mean some of the mediocre and overplayed analytics of just doing whatever you want. It comes from the reality of truly being comfortable in your own skin. When you own that, people like you because you embody what they want to be capable of. Same way you fell in love with how to be Chad, people love others that go unhinged and just act and say as they like. We have these alarms that go off in our brains if we don't say the right things, or don't dress a certain way, or don't have interesting lives.

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[-] McVaghunter 1 Point about a year ago

I understand that this story is horse shit a work of fiction yet you need to tone down the exaggerations a little bit to make it more realistic. First it was the "billion dollars worth of Bitcoin" now this average guy with a "soft dad bod and small penis" getting more attention than you the "ripped" guy. Oh hell no!

Tone down that shit in the 3rd part, you're ruining my read.

[-] XxBeans373 1 Point about a year ago

It isn’t a work of fiction, it’s got narrative elements sure, but it’s real. The small dick and soft body is 100% real. If you think you can’t be Chad if you aren’t jacked out of your mind and don’t have a monster dong, I think you are missing the forest for the trees and need to read more closely to understand the message here.

[-] strikethrough123 1 Point about a year ago

There’s a key difference. He doesn’t give a fuck, but you do.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] HealthCatch0213 1 Point about a year ago

High stress situations are ones that make you stronger on all levels (Physical, Mental, Psychological).

If you guys want to go through something like that without going into the army, I suggest working in a kitchen.

I speak based of off experince here, working in a fast paced kitchen is one of the best ways to make yourself stronger. Your dealing with hot environments, people running around and the constant pressure from your Head Chef.

It's not as intense as the army, but it will change you.

[-] [deleted] about a year ago
[-] VanSeslas 1 Point about a year ago

Very excited for part 3. I love this. This is not a rant, these are actual facts and something i am still going through and think a lot of people scrolling through the sub need to understand. I swear that this feels it was written exactly by me. You can have all the theory of this sub and hang around the most alpha male out there yet you still feel like there’s a problem in your own development. Curious to know how you kept it going before I leave a more detailed comment on everything you wrote.

[-] Bone_Coat -1 Point about a year ago

this is not a blue pill example , this is a fucking rant

[-] XxBeans373 7 Points about a year ago

If you say so. I completely disagree, as there is a massive amount of really important information and lessons in there. I don’t think the typical point by point diatribe that most of this thread has become is an effective way to disseminate information. Narrative is a much more effective way to tell a story and teach a lesson than a written version of a PowerPoint. Narratives are more engaging and require critical thinking rather than just expecting the writer to tell you what to believe.

We are all here because the BluePill world tells people what to think and how to act at every turn, and we have to be careful not to fall into the same pattern.

[-] Bone_Coat 1 Point about a year ago

hmm.. now I understand, I can tell this will be a long story

unconsciously I am some times alpha and some times beta, we just need awareness in order to not fucking up (that's why i'm here)